Reality Steve

Bachelorette Desiree Spoilers

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” Desiree’s First “Scandal,” Info on the Group Date, and “Burning Love” Ends

For the first time in a while, I have more show related news than actual “Reader Emails,” and “Dr. Reality Steve” emails to go over. Then again, this is the offseason, and frankly, there just aren’t a lot of questions people have right now. Which is perfectly fine by me. I could use this break to recharge the batteries before we start up again May 20th with Desiree’s premiere. But we’ve got two pages of info to get to including the lawsuit being over, some drama in Desiree’s season, Sean on DWTS, Michelle Money’s charity event next Friday night, details from Desiree’s group date yesterday, and of course my favorite part for those that may have missed last week – the ending of “Burning Love 2,” with a trailer for “Burning Down the House, which is their spin-off parody of “Bachelor Pad.” If there’s a funnier web show out there than this one, I’ve yet to see it. The Mark Orlando character is an all-timer. Kinda reminds me of Michael Scott from the “Office.” So clueless in his own world, yet thinks he’s completely self-aware. I think Mark Orlando deserves his own show. Again.

First let me start off for those that don’t follow me on Twitter and missed the announcement on Tuesday that the lawsuit has been amicably resolved, and I thank everyone for their support these last few months. I know a lot of you have a ton of questions and want to know what happened. Sorry. I can’t answer anything. Is what it is. So let me just repeat myself in case you missed it: the lawsuit has been amicably resolved. Here are three media outlets that covered the story if you’re interested:

The Hollywood Reporter

Moving on…

Our first bit of drama struck Desiree’s season last Thursday. Mike Fleiss somewhat hinted at it in a tweet when he wrote a week ago:

@fleissmeister 21 Mar : Romance is building– and so is the drama! Dez is super happy, tho…

Looks like they went back to an ol’ standby this season: the ex-girlfriend appearing. It’s actually been a while since we’ve seen that. Sure, there’s always talk every season about someone having a boyfriend/girlfriend back home, but do you realize we haven’t seen one actually appear on the show since Ali’s season, when Rego’s ex-girlfriend made that phone call? Sean, Emily, Ben, Ashley, and Brad’s season have all come and gone without them going to the “ex still in the picture” card. Until now. Here’s what I can tell you: Brian J. had an ex and she showed up in some capacity last Thursday, confronted him, and he was removed from the show. Not sure where it happened, but I’m sure they did it in front of the other guys since he was on the group date the day before, so they all would’ve been hanging at the mansion. Her name is Stephanie Larimore, a single mom, and most notably, was also Playboy’s Playmate of the month back in June 2006. There are MANY Google images of her if you’re so inclined to look. I certainly did. And oh yeah, she’s also the ex-girlfriend of former “Bachelorette” contestant Craig Robinson. Ahhhh, what an incestual family this franchise can be at times.

You know, this has been one of the easier seasons ever to handicap for DWTS. When you really look at it, the breakdown is fairly simple. There are 6 people who, if they practiced 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you still wouldn’t ever consider them “dancers,” and that’s: D.L., Victor, Andy, Lisa, Wynona, and Sean. There are 3 dancers who you’d consider a level above those people, but a level below the top 3, and that’d be Dorothy, Ingo, and Alexandra, with Alexandra bordering on pushing herself into the top 3. Obviously, the three best dancers are Zendaya, Kellie, and Jacoby. If those aren’t your final three, I’d be shocked. Maybe Alexandra sneaks in, but it’ll be tough. Those three are far and away better than the other 9 (with the exception of Alexandra) and it’s not even close. Yes, I know this is a popularity contest in the end, but still, I think Zendaya, Kellie, and Jacoby’s fan bases are strong enough to at least get them to the finals. After that, it’s anyone’s guess. If you’re strictly voting on technical dancing skills, Zendaya is by far the best out there because she has a dance background. Doesn’t mean she’ll win though. I think Kellie or Jacoby will because even though they are really good, them not having a dance background will help them with voters who pretty much just think Zendaya is a ringer. Which she is. I don’t care if hip-hop and ballroom are completely different. If you’ve had dance training like that your whole life, you are inherently going to be better at learning things, you’ll look better doing it, and it comes more naturally to you.

As for Sean, he’s obviously trying really hard, but he’s not a dancer. Never will be. But I’d be shocked if he went home before Andy, Wynona, D.L., Victor, or Lisa. So that means he’ll be on the show at least another 6 weeks, which is par for the course. He’s in the middle of the pack, and in the end, he’ll end up walking away with well over $200k earned on this show, hence the reason why he did it. If somebody told me today I could make that for six weeks of learning how to dance, would I take it? Absolutely. No-brainer. That’s if my back would allow it. Something tells me I’d end up having to pull a Dorothy and bow out of the competition because I can’t imagine my back holding up for that long after 6 weeks of 6-8 hour a day practices. I guess we’ll never know, but, Sean is pretty much what you’d expect him to be on this show. A stiff white guy learning how to dance. He’s putting in the time, he’s learning his steps, and he’s memorizing his routine, but he has zero musicality, and will never be one that looks fluid while dancing. Like pretty much half of them this season. And every season for that matter. If you have no rhythm or dance/performance background, it’s impossible to win this show.

Wanted to alert anyone in the LA area that next Friday night at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills, Michelle Money will be hosting the 2nd Annual Dream Date Auction to support the Chris4Life Colon Cancer Foundation. I’m sure all of you are dying to know, “Hey Steve, are you gonna be auctioned off because I’d pay thousands for a date with you.” Unfortunately no. Not my thing. But hey, donate to the cause anyway. It was a very fun event last year, and I expect it to be even better this season. The link above shows all of Sean’s girls that will be in attendance, along with other celebrities. Now before you start asking, “Hey, I thought some of those people already had boyfriends. Why are they auctioning off dates with themselves?” The answer is, they’re not really “dates.” You usually just meet up with them the next day for lunch or whatever and are given a voucher to a restaurant. Remember the whole story I told about Erica last year about how I “won” her with my bid? I had to leave early the next morning, so her and I just met for breakfast and I left. Then three months later she…forget it. No need to rehash that whole thing. But you get my point.

Anyway, they’ve already started a couple of the auction biddings online and since most of you are huge Kiptyn and Roberto fans, there’s already something you can bid on by clicking here. You get to spend a day with these two down in San Diego as they take you and a friend horse back riding, on a picnic, then your choice of surfing, kayaking, or paddle boarding, then getting to end the night at the beach before getting a one night stay at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego (Kiptyn and Roberto won’t be spending the night with you though. Sorry). I’m sure many of you women would love that, so why not get an early jump and start your bidding now? Looking forward to the event to help out a great cause.

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  1. freeasabird

    April 8, 2013 at 12:25 AM

    According to Twitter, Steve went to Michelle Money’s charity thing that she ran @chris4cure. He posted a pic and William Holman posted one of all of them at a Taco Bell. Next column will have a couple more contestants and where they are right now.

  2. freeasabird

    April 8, 2013 at 12:27 AM

    Crummy buttons! Another post awaiting moderation. Bet it is because I posted links to recent pics from his Twitter account.

  3. iheartvino

    April 8, 2013 at 8:29 AM

    freeasabird, was your comment about the pics on twitter about RS meeting and hanging out with some of the Bachelor people on Fri night? I saw that.. I bet that’s got to be fun for him to meet some of the people he’s been covering in the column over the past few seasons.

    kasey, that new show sounds interesting! I’ll have to see if they replay it during the week and set my DVR to record it if so. I’m not sure I get A&E On Demand w/ Time Warner?

  4. jackie22

    April 8, 2013 at 12:15 PM

    Just read the Bachelorette premeire will be pushed back a week do to a new show called ‘Motive’.

  5. Cndgirl

    April 8, 2013 at 4:00 PM

    I didn’t realize it until jackie22 wrote in – but I guess Motive is a Canadian show – it has been on a while in Canada already (since Jan I think) on CTV – I haven’t watched it, but seen the promos. ABC must have picked it up – similar to Rookie Blue, which also originated in Canada. Interesting – that doesn’t happen very often!

  6. freeasabird

    April 8, 2013 at 4:17 PM

    Steve tweeted today: Almost home. Time to get back to work. Got contestants, dates, drama, exits, first impression rose, and locations to update you on this week

    What’s the cutoff for the F4 contest?

    @iheart: Yes, that was what my post was about

    *** Bates Motel *** Full episodes at aetv dot com

  7. kasey31

    April 8, 2013 at 8:19 PM

    **f4 contest**
    everyone cast your f4 predictions by fri, april 12th, under “desiree’s guys”.. ok, so we might know more than we should by the cut-off (first impression rose, group dates, etc), but this is our first go-around, and there will be some obvious glitches.. its just for fun, so choose your f4 based on the men steve has provided us with or if you find any other men from another website that maybe steve hasnt posted yet.. or pick 2.. i guess it doesnt HAVE to be f4..

    remember, its just a game.. next season we’ll try to figure out something better and more organized.. ill copy this post into the new column once it’s up : )

  8. kasey31

    April 8, 2013 at 9:23 PM

    btw iheart, and anyone else interested.. yes! “the bates motel” is on demand with time warner, under entertainment, then a&e..check it out, i think youll really like it.. its the prelude to how norman bates becomes “psycho” in the movie.. and its soooo so good!

  9. randais

    April 9, 2013 at 3:51 PM

    Sean’s dance was first and during the rehearsals, he tells Peta he wants to incorporate Cat into the dance….and I thought I couldn’t look forward to one of his dances less. I can’t say, he’s the “worst” dancer on the show but he’s mechanical, stiff and has no musicality. However he did the quick backstep drag his partner part, decently :D. His solo was atrocious.
    Victor’s not the best dancer either, and I’m not sure if he’s dancing or fighting. But he sure tries hard.
    Karina was almost dressed this week, that’s an improvement. Jacoby, now he’s another story. He has some natural ability and I enjoy watching him. His solo was rhythmical and his baby boy was SOOO cute!
    Alley, why do they never take into consideration her body type when they costume her? None the less, her power really worked to her benefit in this dance, additionally she danced (contemporary) mostly flat footed which again played to her strengths and what she’s used to.
    Andy, well he may never take home the disco ball, but he danced well this week. It was touching. His daughter’s really cute and I love “Hallelujah”. But I’m unclear how he has 3 children, are they adopted?
    Zendaya should win this. NO one compares to her, timing, rhythm and grace. They always dress her appropriately too, why don’t they do the same for the rest of the cast?
    Kim was barely dressed last week but this week looked way more classy. Ingo did well this week, he isn’t the most natural dancer but he did better than last week.
    It would be a miracle if DL lasts to the finals but surprisingly he actually looked like he was dancing this week.
    Kellie’s a beautiful dancer too and she did not disappoint this week but her inspiration was right there on the stage singing the song her wrote for her, how could she NOT have been completely invested?
    Lisa is STILL wearing that butt ugly leotard and tights that looks JUST like ones my daughter wore when she was 4. Nicely done Gleb, instead of catching her when she fainted he dodges out of the way! She’s a beautiful lady but she can not dance and watching her is painful plus they dress her atrociously. She tied with Victor for last place and Ally and Zendaya tied for first.

    So who’s going to watch “Ready For Love” tonight?

  10. kasey31

    April 9, 2013 at 7:48 PM

    randais, agreed! it was so so sweet what sean did, but he looked like SUCH a dork waltzing over to her that it actually made me laugh out loud.. catherine looks soooo in love with him, though.. it was very sweet, in a terribly awkward sort of way.. i really like zendaya, as well, although i do think she has a bit of an unfair advantage over the rest of the contestants…

  11. elizabeth82

    April 9, 2013 at 9:59 PM

    randais, just wondering, why are you over The Bachelor franchise? Since you always have a bunch to say about many other shows.

    Ready for Love? No thanks. Two of those guys look like tools, the other gay. And enough with the matchmaker stuff.

    Hopefully Steve dishes some about hanging with contestants.

    Wetpaint says Des headed to London. You think they’d care that they just went there with Emily. I’ve never cared a ton about the exotic locales but clearly that boosts their ratings.

  12. kasey31

    April 9, 2013 at 10:05 PM

    i tried watching ready for love.. my friend and i lasted about 5 mins.. if that.. sooooo dumb!

  13. karynr

    April 10, 2013 at 4:39 AM

    Thanks for the warning Kasey! I recorded it, but won’t waste the time to watch it now.

  14. randais

    April 10, 2013 at 5:30 AM

    Elizabeth – I can’t stand the scripted aspect and unrealistic nature of the show. Their track record with regard to actually finding compatible, lasting relationships is tragic and it’s become such a trashy show, in my opinion. I watched for quite a few seasons but can’t stomach it anymore.

    I watched “Ready For Love” and was unimpressed also. I may watch next week, give it one more chance since there are 2 completely different guys involved but I didn’t care for the format.

  15. kasey31

    April 10, 2013 at 6:17 AM

    youre welcome, karyn! the format is ridiculous- a cheap, wannabe version of the bachelor.. wasnt eva longoria supposed to be hosting it? i never saw her, then again, i only made through the first few mins..

  16. oyoung1117

    April 10, 2013 at 7:21 AM

    I turned it over to NBC when I thought Smash was coming on and instead it seemed like Ready for Love was about halfway through. I watched 3 mins tops (my husband wasn’t having any of that haha) and what I saw was these match makers giving these girls advice on how to change themselves to be more attractive and desirable to the millionaires they are supposed to be winning. Say what you will about The Bachelor it has PLENTY of flaws, but at least the over arching theme of the show isn’t one long Cosmo article telling women who they really are will never be good enough so they ought to change themselves and pretend to be someone different.

  17. ccrider

    April 10, 2013 at 8:47 AM

    Thanks for the heads up on RFL. Seems like a pretty consistent consensus on the worthlessness of it. I’ll go ahead and delete my DVR recording.

    Anyone watching Splash?

  18. iheartvino

    April 10, 2013 at 9:40 AM

    Agree with everyone’s comments about Ready For Love. I was watching The Voice and kept seeing previews so decided to tune in for a few minutes against my better judgement to see if it was as bad as I thought it would be. It was worse.

    Eva Longoria appeared at the very beginning to explain why she created this show- she’s the Creator and Executive Producer- and they showed a brief clip of her on The Today Show talking to Matt Lauer about the concept of the show. I’ll be absolutely shocked if there isn’t a cancellation notice about this show in the next few weeks. Awful.

  19. jacey

    April 10, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    Ready For Love

    Nice attempt, but after looking forward to a viable alternative to The Bachelor, this kinda came up short for me as it’s more of the same crap. The mansion… 1×1’s, manufactured drama, and a whole lotta swapping of spit.
    The Leah thing had one singular/transparent purpose – to infuse some drama a la The Bachelor. Am I the only one that couldn’t see anything past those altered lips she kept sucking and that incessant playing with her hair??? Hey Mr. British ‘I know how men think’ Guy! Shouldn’t you have known that someone who was in the friend zone for six years was staying in the friend zone? And btw… who can’t figure out that Tim was hitt’n that???
    Hey Tim!!! When Xtina said she “Darker than you” I’m quite certain she was talking about her hue, not her music.
    Skeptical is the word for me right now, but I’m keeping hope alive that this show will be transformational and force others like it to step up their game.

    Hey Ben!! I’m a bad boy magnet, so the fact that I’m drawn to you doesn’t bode well for your capacity to commit. Got leading man aspirations, do ya? Steer clear of DWTS and Hydroxy Cut when RFL is done, will ya?

  20. freeasabird

    April 10, 2013 at 2:37 PM

    Thanks all for your opinions of RTL. Not sure if I’ll give it a try or not.

    @ccrider I’m watching Splash. I like it even though I don’t know who half the “celebs” are. Was really cool seeing Greg and what’s his name doing a syncro dive last night, I mean last week, I guess. I just watched it last night. Always behind on every show I watch.

  21. Sunnyside422

    April 10, 2013 at 3:18 PM

    Watched a small portion of RFL…that was enough! I must say the women are really attractive. The men…not so much. They do well on The Bachelor with those so so looks. Not sure if they have brains as we only saw Tim.

    Am watching The Voice. Okay I admit I’m a new convert! Coworker has been trying to get me to watch for some time. I caved…glad I did.

    I like all 4 judges. Now if that brainless Conrad Green would take a clue and get rid of those 3 stooges on DWTS and infuse the show with more interesting and sane judges…it could be the needed fix for the show.

    Might watch next week just to see Maks dance again. Yum.

  22. elizabeth82

    April 10, 2013 at 3:56 PM

  23. jacey

    April 10, 2013 at 4:52 PM

    Maks’ ego was too big for the room, so he’s no longer on DWTS. His brother is still there, though.

  24. randais

    April 10, 2013 at 5:00 PM

    I don’t watch Splash, I watched the one last season where the “B” listers dove off a high dive and it was a snooze.

    The Voice is heads and shoulders above Idol, don’t you think? I appreciate it so much more.

  25. randais

    April 10, 2013 at 5:00 PM

    Who got voted off of DWTS?

  26. jacey

    April 10, 2013 at 5:02 PM

    elizabeth82 on April 10, 2013 at 3:56 PM said:
    You guys see this?

    Wow! That’s like monumentally stupid of someone who claims to want an enduring relationship… Picking a two-time loser. Way to go, Ashlee. I give it two months.

  27. jacey

    April 10, 2013 at 5:04 PM

    Lisa got the boot. I think more for her lack of relatability than her dancing.

  28. randais

    April 10, 2013 at 5:21 PM

    Thanks, I assumed it’d be her.

  29. randais

    April 10, 2013 at 6:55 PM

    Candace may have just won Idol, well at least if the judges had any say about it…..

  30. jacey

    April 10, 2013 at 7:36 PM

    @randais, haven’t been keeping up with Idol, but was channeling surfacing and caught Candice’s 2nd performance of the night. I’m with the judges. That was head and shoulders above everyone else. Crisp, polished, smooth, slick… a-mazing!

  31. iheartvino

    April 11, 2013 at 9:54 AM

    FYI, per RS’s tweet, he’s posting the new column tomorrow. So we don’t have to keep coming back and checking today. =)

  32. ccrider

    April 11, 2013 at 11:22 AM

    freeasabird…..I must be older than you because I know most of the celebs on Splash! I’m really liking it because the celebs seem to really care for and encourage each other. The syncro diving with Greg and whats his name was awesome! If you haven’t seen this week’s episode then I won’t say anything except that it brought tears to my eyes.

  33. randais

    April 11, 2013 at 2:06 PM

    So Revenge, no show this week? Anyone know why?

  34. mariet

    April 11, 2013 at 3:11 PM

    It’s not on again until April 28 🙁 but I don’t know why.

  35. mariet

    April 11, 2013 at 3:20 PM

    Lots of questions and complaints about the long breaks on the ABC Revenge message board, but no answers.

  36. randais

    April 11, 2013 at 3:43 PM

    Cochran, “I won’t be engaging in any type of masculine tomfoolery with these numskulls” HAHAHAHAHHAHAA.

    Buh bye Michael.

  37. randais

    April 11, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    Mariet – well that sucks.

  38. randais

    April 12, 2013 at 4:24 AM

    Awww sadness and relief at the same time, Lazaro finally got his long overdue send off. Well they were out of guys so I guess it was his time.

  39. karynr

    April 12, 2013 at 7:02 AM

    randais, that’s a perfect way to describe Lazaro leaving. I watched the Tues. night performances right before the results show last night, and it was painful watching and listening to him compared to the girls. He was trying so hard to put on a composed facade for the judges and cameras last night.

    What a solid top five. I’ll bet we see some unbelievable performances from this group in the coming weeks.

  40. randais

    April 12, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    Karynr, yes it was sad. When we first heard him, it shocked everyone, perhaps to the extent that maybe we missed the other issues, maybe the judges did too. But everyone felt so bad for him, then week by week he just deteriorated. I suspect it was mainly about self confidence, the less self confident he became the worse he sang. But he does seem like such a sweet guy.

  41. kasey31

    April 12, 2013 at 10:50 AM

    testing..1, 2, 3.. testing..

  42. kasey31

    April 12, 2013 at 10:50 AM

    well thats embarrassing, ill explain later ; )

  43. kasey31

    April 12, 2013 at 6:37 PM

    theyre taking their “annual” break before the last 4 episodes of season 2.. why do they have to take time off in between? i have no clue, but i did hear in an interview with emily vancamp that it has something to do with the network, not the show : (

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