For the first time in a while, I have more show related news than actual “Reader Emails,” and “Dr. Reality Steve” emails to go over. Then again, this is the offseason, and frankly, there just aren’t a lot of questions people have right now. Which is perfectly fine by me. I could use this break to recharge the batteries before we start up again May 20th with Desiree’s premiere. But we’ve got two pages of info to get to including the lawsuit being over, some drama in Desiree’s season, Sean on DWTS, Michelle Money’s charity event next Friday night, details from Desiree’s group date yesterday, and of course my favorite part for those that may have missed last week – the ending of “Burning Love 2,” with a trailer for “Burning Down the House, which is their spin-off parody of “Bachelor Pad.” If there’s a funnier web show out there than this one, I’ve yet to see it. The Mark Orlando character is an all-timer. Kinda reminds me of Michael Scott from the “Office.” So clueless in his own world, yet thinks he’s completely self-aware. I think Mark Orlando deserves his own show. Again.
First let me start off for those that don’t follow me on Twitter and missed the announcement on Tuesday that the lawsuit has been amicably resolved, and I thank everyone for their support these last few months. I know a lot of you have a ton of questions and want to know what happened. Sorry. I can’t answer anything. Is what it is. So let me just repeat myself in case you missed it: the lawsuit has been amicably resolved. Here are three media outlets that covered the story if you’re interested:
Our first bit of drama struck Desiree’s season last Thursday. Mike Fleiss somewhat hinted at it in a tweet when he wrote a week ago:
@fleissmeister 21 Mar : Romance is building– and so is the drama! Dez is super happy, tho…
Looks like they went back to an ol’ standby this season: the ex-girlfriend appearing. It’s actually been a while since we’ve seen that. Sure, there’s always talk every season about someone having a boyfriend/girlfriend back home, but do you realize we haven’t seen one actually appear on the show since Ali’s season, when Rego’s ex-girlfriend made that phone call? Sean, Emily, Ben, Ashley, and Brad’s season have all come and gone without them going to the “ex still in the picture” card. Until now. Here’s what I can tell you: Brian J. had an ex and she showed up in some capacity last Thursday, confronted him, and he was removed from the show. Not sure where it happened, but I’m sure they did it in front of the other guys since he was on the group date the day before, so they all would’ve been hanging at the mansion. Her name is Stephanie Larimore, a single mom, and most notably, was also Playboy’s Playmate of the month back in June 2006. There are MANY Google images of her if you’re so inclined to look. I certainly did. And oh yeah, she’s also the ex-girlfriend of former “Bachelorette” contestant Craig Robinson. Ahhhh, what an incestual family this franchise can be at times.
You know, this has been one of the easier seasons ever to handicap for DWTS. When you really look at it, the breakdown is fairly simple. There are 6 people who, if they practiced 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you still wouldn’t ever consider them “dancers,” and that’s: D.L., Victor, Andy, Lisa, Wynona, and Sean. There are 3 dancers who you’d consider a level above those people, but a level below the top 3, and that’d be Dorothy, Ingo, and Alexandra, with Alexandra bordering on pushing herself into the top 3. Obviously, the three best dancers are Zendaya, Kellie, and Jacoby. If those aren’t your final three, I’d be shocked. Maybe Alexandra sneaks in, but it’ll be tough. Those three are far and away better than the other 9 (with the exception of Alexandra) and it’s not even close. Yes, I know this is a popularity contest in the end, but still, I think Zendaya, Kellie, and Jacoby’s fan bases are strong enough to at least get them to the finals. After that, it’s anyone’s guess. If you’re strictly voting on technical dancing skills, Zendaya is by far the best out there because she has a dance background. Doesn’t mean she’ll win though. I think Kellie or Jacoby will because even though they are really good, them not having a dance background will help them with voters who pretty much just think Zendaya is a ringer. Which she is. I don’t care if hip-hop and ballroom are completely different. If you’ve had dance training like that your whole life, you are inherently going to be better at learning things, you’ll look better doing it, and it comes more naturally to you.
As for Sean, he’s obviously trying really hard, but he’s not a dancer. Never will be. But I’d be shocked if he went home before Andy, Wynona, D.L., Victor, or Lisa. So that means he’ll be on the show at least another 6 weeks, which is par for the course. He’s in the middle of the pack, and in the end, he’ll end up walking away with well over $200k earned on this show, hence the reason why he did it. If somebody told me today I could make that for six weeks of learning how to dance, would I take it? Absolutely. No-brainer. That’s if my back would allow it. Something tells me I’d end up having to pull a Dorothy and bow out of the competition because I can’t imagine my back holding up for that long after 6 weeks of 6-8 hour a day practices. I guess we’ll never know, but, Sean is pretty much what you’d expect him to be on this show. A stiff white guy learning how to dance. He’s putting in the time, he’s learning his steps, and he’s memorizing his routine, but he has zero musicality, and will never be one that looks fluid while dancing. Like pretty much half of them this season. And every season for that matter. If you have no rhythm or dance/performance background, it’s impossible to win this show.
Wanted to alert anyone in the LA area that next Friday night at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills, Michelle Money will be hosting the 2nd Annual Dream Date Auction to support the Chris4Life Colon Cancer Foundation. I’m sure all of you are dying to know, “Hey Steve, are you gonna be auctioned off because I’d pay thousands for a date with you.” Unfortunately no. Not my thing. But hey, donate to the cause anyway. It was a very fun event last year, and I expect it to be even better this season. The link above shows all of Sean’s girls that will be in attendance, along with other celebrities. Now before you start asking, “Hey, I thought some of those people already had boyfriends. Why are they auctioning off dates with themselves?” The answer is, they’re not really “dates.” You usually just meet up with them the next day for lunch or whatever and are given a voucher to a restaurant. Remember the whole story I told about Erica last year about how I “won” her with my bid? I had to leave early the next morning, so her and I just met for breakfast and I left. Then three months later she…forget it. No need to rehash that whole thing. But you get my point.
Anyway, they’ve already started a couple of the auction biddings online and since most of you are huge Kiptyn and Roberto fans, there’s already something you can bid on by clicking here. You get to spend a day with these two down in San Diego as they take you and a friend horse back riding, on a picnic, then your choice of surfing, kayaking, or paddle boarding, then getting to end the night at the beach before getting a one night stay at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego (Kiptyn and Roberto won’t be spending the night with you though. Sorry). I’m sure many of you women would love that, so why not get an early jump and start your bidding now? Looking forward to the event to help out a great cause.