Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 9 - Desiree

The Bachelorette Desiree Recap Including Ratings News & More Bad 80’s (and 70’s) Movie Clips

-At the cocktail party, Michael needs to let Desiree know that he has Type 1 diabetes. So the guy who’s gonna climb all over Ben for talking about his son all the time and using Brody for attention with Des is gonna play the diabetic card all season? Makes sense. Here’s a guy boring her with blood/sugar level stories, yet gets pissed off when Ben interrupts him. Now, after what we saw earlier, it is clearly obvious that they purposely had Ben interrupt Michael’s diabetes story for dramatic purposes. Anyone with half a brain could see that. Plus, I’m sure producers knew Michael the attorney wasn’t going to take that sitting down. Boy did he ever. The guy wouldn’t let it go, but honestly, I would’ve rather heard Ben tell Brody baby stories than listen to what your blood/sugar level was at. Call me crazy. If anything, if I were Ben, not only would I have interrupted his story, I would’ve added, “Hey buddy, time’s up. I’m gonna steal her for a minute. Elan is ready to give you your insulin shots.”

-Mikey, Will, and Michael are now all sitting around and attacking Ben for doing something that happens every season – someone already with a rose asks for alone time at the cocktail party. Happened before, and will happen again. Deal with it. Maybe these guys didn’t get enough creatine that day because they are all little miss prissy pants over Ben. Not to mention, the editing of the conversation where they were all sitting around was so choppy, you couldn’t really make out who was saying what to who and in what context. Mikey confronts Ben, “Why not let the kid have his time?” Considering he calls everyone “the kid,” maybe he needs to start being a little more specific. Ben: “In hindsight, should I have stepped out? Maybe.” Yeah, but then there’d be no drama, and the cocktail party would’ve been boring, so, go on wit’ yo’ bad self. You did the right thing (well, by listening to the producers) and they got the drama they were looking for so it’s a win-win across the board. However, one thing the guys standing around did start saying about Ben was that apparently he was talking a lot about Brody, the bar he works at, how other bachelors “have one bar in the past that turns into 5,” and his nutrition shop. If THIS is the reason that the guys didn’t like him, then it makes a little more sense, because it seemed their hatred for him really came out of nowhere. Was a little surprised the show didn’t go into specifics more on that if that’s what Ben was telling them when Des wasn’t around. Maybe they will in future episodes, we’ll see. But if that’s the case, well then, their actions make a little more sense last night. Still being a bit childish over everything and probably a tad jealous he got roses two episodes in a row? Yes. But at least it makes a tad more sense.

-The other big foreshadowing moment they pulled last night was making sure they showed us Brian getting alone time with Des and telling her all about his life and what he’s up to. She even asks about past relationships to which Brian states: “Couple months ago, it ended. But it was probably over 6 months ago. You know how that goes.” Of course, we all know what happens next week with Stephanie showing up and chewing him out since they’ve done nothing to hide it from the first promo of the season. Stephanie even took to Twitter last night to bad mouth the guy, so, it sounds like it’s legit. I’m hearing a lot of things both ways, so hopefully by next week I can sort everything out. Right now, I’ll stand by what I reported a week after this all went down. Stephanie had no clue Brian had left to do the show, apparently they were on a “break” where he told her they needed time apart, then this buffoon decides to go on a network television show where they premise is to find a wife. He’s either the stupidest man on the planet, or, incredibly naïve. Or both. Whatever the case, we’ll see it all play out next week and hopefully get some resolution to it all.

-Rose ceremony time. Brooks, Ben, and Bryden already with roses. Des, the floor is yours. “So fun looking at you guys…so thankful…couldn’t have asked for a better group…open up…so many of you are amazing husband material…makes it more difficult for me…I’m terrified of Brandon and what type of Jenna Burke-esque meltdown he’s going to have next week when I send him home. Helllllllpppppp!!!!!”

James: It struck me last night that I think he and Drew comb and part their hair the exact same way using the exact same product.
Kasey: There were zero hash tag references last night. I don’t really remember Kasey speaking that much. However, with a 1-on-1 date next week, something tells me it’ll be hash tag overload.
Dan: “Des, the tribe has spoken…”
Juan Pablo: She asked him in Spanish to accept the rose. Her Spanish was as awful as her rapping.
Brad: Never spoke a single word last night.
Chris: Might’ve been hidden the first two episodes, but will get major time next week to begin setting up his storyline.
Brian: He’s deleted his Twitter account. Probably a good thing. He is going to get destroyed by Desiree crazies next week. Duck and cover man. These people are lunatics.
Zak W: Went a whole episode without showing any of us his abs. Or his dong.
Drew: I want to see how gooey and crusted the comb that he and James use is.
Mikey: A lot of airtime for Mikey last night. He was everywhere. The last grown man I heard who still went by “Mikey” was, ummmm, I have no idea.
Zack K: Probably should start getting to work on those children’s books sooner rather than later. A complete zero for 2 episodes.
Michael: I still want to know why his eyebrow was missing on that episode of “Holidate” from 4 years ago. And oh yeah, he’s a diabetic in case you didn’t know.

“Desiree, gentleman. It’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. I’m so pumped that next week I get to be at the dodgeball date, I get to appear with Stephanie when she comes to rip Brian’s balls off in front of everyone, and I get cocktail party/rose ceremony time. It’ll be a profitable day for the new clothing line. I bet at least 3 people buy a new shirt. So now I’ll make $60,300 an episode.”

Brandon: Might’ve fainted if she didn’t pick him.

Neither Will, Nick, or Robert had much to say in their elimination worth nothing. However, Desiree did. On Twitter. For those asking about the Robert stuff I reported a while back about how he used to date Desiree’s roommate, Desiree remembered him from that, but he had no clue who Desiree was, she took to Twitter last night to confirm my spoiler for me. Gotta say, it’s pretty nice when I give you info behind-the-scenes that’s impossible for me to prove without giving up sources, never gets shown, yet the lead of the show confirms it in a tweet. Thanks Des. You’re the best.

Destweet

Next week should be one giant sh**storm. Looking forward to it. Send all emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you Thursday with your “Reader Emails” and “Dr. Reality Steve” column.

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32 Comments

32 Comments

  1. vessel

    June 4, 2013 at 12:07 PM

    Ali Fedotowsky is still blogging the show.

  2. addicted2rs

    June 4, 2013 at 1:21 PM

    Fleiss and company are casting men that aren’t desirable. No one wants to end up with a d-bag, so why would women want to watch a show where the majority of the guys are women’s worst fear of ending up with?

  3. bigfatwoman

    June 4, 2013 at 2:11 PM

    My thoughts on last night:

    Des is a nice, sweet, simple girl without a ton of personality.

    Brooks. See above only substitute boy for girl.

    James is kinda handsome in a thick neck football player kinda way.

    The Ben thing is overdone and dumb dumb dumb

    RS, I hate when you insert videos into your blog for filler or comic relief. One is enough.

    Otherwise, let the boring season continue!

  4. rob22

    June 4, 2013 at 2:45 PM

    Mikey = Ronnie from Jersey Shore

  5. rob22

    June 4, 2013 at 2:48 PM

    Am I wrong, or did Desiree keep saying “Soldier” boy instead of Soulja Boy? After the diverse Bachelor Sean season, this has to be the whitest cast in history. Even the black dude couldn’t dance & was almost whiter than the white guys. The raps were just embarassing…. ya know, some white people can dance and rap….. just not any of the people on this show.

  6. iheartvino

    June 4, 2013 at 3:23 PM

    Hasn’t the Bachelorette always competed with The Voice on Mondays? I didn’t think that was anything new this year.

  7. iheartvino

    June 4, 2013 at 3:24 PM

    I mean for as long as The Voice has been around, anyway.

  8. bzliteyear

    June 4, 2013 at 6:06 PM

    i don’t get it!
    desiree goes from clean cut sean to a feminine loser with bad haircut, oily hair that hasn’t been washed in a week, and looks like he showers once per week(if that)?

  9. kjopo84

    June 4, 2013 at 8:38 PM

    I don’t think Brooks’ hair is greasy, I think he just uses product in it. It’s no worse than Drew and James’ wet helmet look. I think Brooks is cute, I wouldn’t mind a haircut, some of his google pics where his hair is a bit shorter definitely ups his hotness factor, but those DIMPLES. Dimples and twinkly eyes are my kryptonite. I think most of the guys seem nice but just sort of dull.

    Zak W. may have given a cheesy gift, but he definitely stepped up his game a bit and showed more of himself. I can’t wait to see Chris more, because I loved his shoe-tying bit when he met Des. Also looking forward to more of Drew, even though he looks like a little boy version of Jake Pavelka; hes still cute and giddy.

    I don’t think Ben is horrible for interrupting Des’ time with Michael, but he does come across as a bit douchey to me. Just kind of arrogant and annoying.
    Other thoughts: I know Brian will be the one with the gf showing up, but is anything revealed about Brydens situation during the course of the show I wonder? We may have to wait til MTL or ATFR.

    I see Brandon and hear the psycho theme in my head. He’s the neediest guy ever.

    Finally, I wonder if we will ever hear Brad or No-Neck Zach speak.

  10. kasey31

    June 4, 2013 at 11:48 PM

    Iheart- Yes, for as long as I can remember it has! Last year I believe the premiere of the Voice aired right after Superbowl, and the Bachelorette aired in the beginning of March..

  11. karynr

    June 5, 2013 at 2:17 AM

    First…..The Voice….only because this show is so much more entertaining than the Bach. This season is really boring. TEAM MICHELLE.

    Random thoughts
    I find Brooks quite unattractive. The teeth and hair are really unappealing. He does seem to be a sweet guy.

    If that first scene was a preview of Chris’s clothing line, I’m not impressed. It looked like he forgot to take off his pajama top before leaving for work.

    Bryden….If he was buried in the sand up to his neck, someone could have worked on that awful do. The shape of his head reminds me of Charlie Brown.

    Dez and Brooks dancing was so awkward. I have two left feet, so I probably shouldn’t talk.

    Mikey…..I know a Howie, and the older I get, the harder it is to call a grown man Howie. It reminds me of my neighbors growing up, Arfie and Philsi…..yuck.

    I don’t know how I feel about Ben yet. The show is so contrived, it’s hard to tell this early. My gut says he’s a major player and possibly a dbag to women.

    Good recap, RS!

  12. lisa e

    June 5, 2013 at 7:29 AM

    Oh ABC! It’s THE GUYS! That’s the reason for the low ratings. Des is a gorgeous, modest sweetheart. Emily was a pain in the butt. She was high-maintenance, and proud of it!

    These guys are easily the worst batch I have seen yet! So many of the other castings were rich with All-American boys we would be proud to bring home to our parents. This one is just a bunch of cast-offs that you hope will produce drama. That’s not what we want for The Bachelorette!!
    We want romance, sweetness and light! This is our turn for the FANTASY, the Cinderella story. We are not interested in Little Boy Drama. That’s our nightmare…

  13. lilybug13

    June 5, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    Brooks looks like a young Billy Drago (The Untouchables, Children of the Corn) :
    http://people.famouswhy.com/billy_drago/directory.html

  14. ccrider

    June 5, 2013 at 8:42 AM

    Did anyone happen to watch the new show Mistresses?

  15. vessel

    June 5, 2013 at 8:58 AM

    @lilybug13, I just googled “Billy Drago” and wow, you are so right!

  16. kjopo84

    June 5, 2013 at 11:44 AM

    Holy cats lilybug, he totally DOES look like Billy Drago!

  17. iheartvino

    June 5, 2013 at 1:52 PM

    I do see some resemblance to Billy Drago, but I think Brooks looks a lot more like the guy from Joe Millionaire, Evan Marriott. (But Evan is slightly better looking in my opinion) Anyone remember that train wreck of a show?

    ccrider- nope, didn’t watch Mistresses. If you watched, how was it? It looked God awful from the previews so I stayed away.

  18. crushonspivey

    June 5, 2013 at 2:39 PM

    Des got the biggest contingent of meatheads I have ever seen on this franchise. They are dull. Unless your idea of fun is to watch dudes pick things up and put them down, while chugging protein shake while slamming their supplements.

    The casting director choked.

  19. randais

    June 5, 2013 at 4:50 PM

    cc- I’m with Iheart, “Mistresses” held no appeal for me at all.

    I am going to try “Under the Dome”, I love anything scifi (ish).

    The Voice – I’m not so much a Michelle fan but I LOVED Holly…so sad to see her go. 🙁

  20. randais

    June 5, 2013 at 4:50 PM

    Oh yeah, oops, SPOILER ALERT….my bad.

  21. elizabeth82

    June 5, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    Brooks seems nice–and I do like longer hair when it’s not greasy from product in it–but his voice is so girly. He’s also kind of effeminate in his mannerisms/gestures. I also didn’t like the chunky ring he had on (was that a class ring? Either way not a good look). I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s gay, maybe bi? But he’s just not doing it for me in the manly department. My fav guy is Michael (manly, good job, cute but still kind of an interesting face), though I wish he’d steer clear of the Ben drama. I also am looking forward to seeing more of Chris because he seems actually normal and like he has a good sense of humor from his intro to Des. So many of these guys need to go, pronto: Brandon (too many issues), Ben (arrogant and manipulative, politican vibe), Mikey and James (meatheads), Drew (gay), Brian, Brad.

    Do you guys think Des having to ask Bryden to kiss her means she’s more into him than he is into her? I’m thinking about the spoiler that he leaves on his own and if he already knows he’s not interested or what. Curious to see that play out.

    Anyone interested in that upcoming show “Whodunnit?” I might check it out (Clue’s my fav board game after all, ha).

  22. jillbeau

    June 5, 2013 at 6:53 PM

    Hey everyone…it’s been awhile. This season has been pretty underwhelming so far (the whole 2 episodes it’s been on). I found myself fast-forwarding through the majority of Monday’s episode.

    As a side note…I’m convinced that Mikey and James are the same person.

  23. jenhering

    June 5, 2013 at 7:46 PM

    Thanks Steve for these recap posts. You make me smile!

  24. kasey31

    June 5, 2013 at 10:17 PM

    Elizabeth, normally I would say no about Des having to ask for the kiss first (I think Emily asked Jef for a kiss first), but in this case, I’m going to assume yes. Mainly because it sounds like the men weren’t too impressed this season with Des- I guess it was a two-way street. I’m kind of wondering if some men dropped out when they found out that Des was the Bachelorette? Not sure why, but I just have a hard time believing they wouldn’t have a better group of guys for her. Maybe the guys that made it were the ones that production thought she would weed out?

    Hi, Jill! You made me laugh out loud with your assessment that Mikey and James are one and the same.

    Thanks for the recap, Steve. It doesn’t surprise me at all that this is an all-time low for the Bachelor franchise. I’m actually trying to get through the season. I now think Lindsay would have been a better choice, and there is no doubt in my mind that the caliber of men on her season would have been > Des’.

  25. karynr

    June 6, 2013 at 5:59 AM

    kasey….your words are so true as far as “getting through” this season. It’ like a bad habit this season. I a very bored, but keep hoping it will get better.

    Randais….I liked Holly a lot too. I think it may come down to a Michelle/Danielle finale, but who knows. This show is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. This is the first season I’ve tried to watch or record every show.

    SYTYCD,,,,is anyone watching? This is a great show too.

  26. ccrider

    June 6, 2013 at 6:19 AM

    iheart & randais…..Mistresses intrigued me as a nice summer escape show….sexy, steamy, soap opera kind of stuff! For me, it got off to kind of a slow start but I guess it was more to introduce the characters and set the backgrounds for each of them. However, the ending of the first episode and the scenes for upcoming episodes has me interested enough to tune in.

  27. theraphosidae

    June 6, 2013 at 7:24 AM

    Okay, correct me if I’m wrong, but Steve, in the episode-by-episode recaps you say it’s BRIAN with the girlfriend, but then in this recap you say it’s BRYDEN? It’s definitely Brian with the girlfriend, he’s the one in the pictures.
    Just wanted clarification!

  28. everglades

    June 6, 2013 at 8:04 AM

    @randais YES! Watch “Under the Dome”. I am a Stephen King fan and have read the book multiple times (just finished again to make sure it’s fresh in my mind). Trust me, that show is going to be INCREDIBLE!

  29. elizabeth82

    June 6, 2013 at 10:06 AM

    @theraphosidae: Steve said they both have gfs. Brian’s is the one who shows up and confronts him. But Steve said Bryden went into the show with a gf.

  30. randais

    June 6, 2013 at 10:11 AM

    Karynr – Anythings possible. While I like the Swon Brothers, I was shocked that they stayed over Holly :\. I, too, LOVE SYTYCD…I’ve been watching for years.

    Ever – well there you go, I didn’t even know there was a book! I think the previews look interesting. Look forward to dishing with you once it starts.

    Eliz – I, too, used to be a die hard Clue fan. I may check that one out as well (Whodunit, I mean).

  31. kaleyt

    June 7, 2013 at 7:57 PM

    The rating really aren’t surprising. Been watching since Jason’s season and I’ve never seen a more boring season than this. There have been times when I wasn’t interesting in the lead, but this one takes the cake. Des is so boring I can’t stand it. And what’s with all these meat-heads they cast this season?! blehck!

  32. motherduck

    June 10, 2013 at 10:38 AM

    Having watched a lot of the Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons, I actually liked “Ready for Love” (RFL) on NBC better. Too bad they moved it to the NBC.com site after only two episodes. The guys were far better candidates, and the MatchMaker’s screenings actually got terrific girls. Fleiss and Co. are still casting bimbos most of the time. Des is a nice gal, but that’s it. Not much passion or sparks. So far, it’s a boring season. The whole format of RFL is better. The only shortcoming is that they need to show more and longer interaction between the guys and the women. Especially the final three. Also since that show wrapped in mid August last summer, the three guys and their F1s had to be in hiding for 10 months. That’s far too long. Tim Lopez and Jenna are still going strong and look like they will be heading for the alter. I was impressed by the show. Too bad NBC pulled the plug. But….a lot of morons live at NBC.

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