Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 9 - Desiree

The Bachelorette Desiree Recap Including Deleted Scenes, Tabloids Confirming Week Old Stories and More Videos!

A few news and notes to get to this week before we start into this week’s recap, which includes quite a few videos. I mean, that’s kinda what you have to do when ABC decides to spend 30 minutes on James and Des’ 1-on-1 date and there really wasn’t much to make fun of. I know they like to throw in those meaningful dates at least once a season (Sean and Ashlee last season) just to throw people off the scent that they’re still nothing but spineless, cold hearted, mean spirited ingrates, but it certainly doesn’t help the comedic factor of my column, so, I just decided to fill it with videos. You’ll see those on page 4. There are some classics. Maybe you’ve seen some, maybe you haven’t. But it should keep you occupied for at least a little bit. Get your emails and “Dr. Reality Steve” questions in the next couple days if you want to see it in Thursday’s column. Might be having a special guest for “Dr. Reality Steve” come Thursday, so I’ll keep you updated.

Some deleted scenes are up on, and last week showed Zak getting some time with Desiree alone at the pool party where he made her suck on a grapefruit. Yikes. If that’s your way of trying to kiss a girl, all the power to you. Anyway, here’s the video, and now we can add Zak to the list of guys she kissed last week, bringing her total to 8 ½, which was over half the guys. Outstanding Des. You are really taking this thing seriously. No tongue left un-used.

I want to thank In Touch Weekly for confirming a story today that I told you all about a week ago, and that was that Stephanie and Brian were back together. Nice “exclusive” there guys. Solid reporting. I’m glad Stephanie saw through his lying, cheating ways and is now making every excuse in the book for the guy. This is comical. “Weeeeelllllll, I mean, you know, we were kinda on and off before he left for the show, soooooo…..” Uh huh. That’s certainly not the way you saw it when you made sure to find a way to get on network TV back in March. But now that you’ve both essentially been exposed for being publicity whores and nothing else, might as well go back to the guy considering I can’t imagine there’s a line around the corner waiting for a washed up, has-been Playmate with a 13 year old kid and bat sh** craziness inside her. Good luck you two. I’m sure there will be wedding bells in your future.

Brandon had his conference call with the media last week, and isn’t the least bit embarrassed he came off the way he did. He clarifies whether or not he said he was “in love” with her or “falling in love” with her, that his edit could’ve actually been worse than it was, and how he had no intention of opening up like that about his family, yet, miraculously he did. Hmmmm, I wonder why? Maybe because they basically forced him to in an ITM? Note to all future contestants: Any of you that think you have deep, dark secrets you’d never reveal on television, they will get it out of you if it’s the last thing they do. That’s their job. They will poke, prod, cajole, and even cry themselves, to get you to start opening up. No secret is safe on this show.

I saw that “Bachelor/ette” mini-reunion episode on Kate Couric yesterday. Pretty much a whole lot of nothing. There really wasn’t one sentence uttered on that show that I hadn’t heard before, so, that’s how I judge whether any shows like that are any good. They just trot out the successful couples (all 4 of them including Sean and Catherine), have them give an update to what they’ve been up to, brought out a few of the villains from season’s past who pretty much say what we’ve heard them say plenty of times, and that’s it. Not much of anything yesterday on that show, so, not much to report. Well, other than your guess is as good as mine as to what Sean and Catherine’s story is. On the ATFR, they couldn’t stop talking about how soon they wanted to get married, now kids, living situation, and wedding plans are all on hold while they enjoy time with each other. I’ll let you read into that one, because honestly, I don’t have the faintest idea what’s going on. Your guess is as good as mine.

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  1. rile9995

    June 18, 2013 at 10:47 AM

    I like Desiree, she seems really sweet. But, her group of guys are really boring. While most of them have “abs”, as my daughter pointed out, that’s about it. The all seem to have the same haircut, a lot of hair jell, and just Blah! Thank goodness for your spoilers. I think it’s time for a “shake up” with this show like American Idol is doing.

  2. rollingeyes

    June 18, 2013 at 10:53 AM

    Well Steve, you get a +1 for knowing the format for a haiku is supposed to be 5-7-5 syllables…..BUT you get a -10 for screwing up the haiku you wrote as an example of what a haiku should be. Your third line had five WORDS but 8 SYLLABLES.

  3. elizabeth82

    June 18, 2013 at 10:54 AM

    Thanks for the recap, but not a fan of all the videos. Never watch them; maybe others do??

    Was kind of hoping you’d point out how Des was much more into following her nose to the chocolate than she was into the saltwater taffy & insert joke about wasn’t she PMSing LAST week on her date with Kasey?

    HATED this episode. I actually wished I were watching it after the fact and could fast-forward so I didn’t have to watch all that Manny & Jan stuff for 40 minutes. We get it, it’s the obligatory charity thing, but that went way overboard. Painfully boring. If I weren’t so bored, I would have laughed that after coming back from yet another commercial, we still had to watch them on their date. I seriously hope this show gets backlash for subjecting us to that. James on that date was annoying to watch; you can tell he doesn’t really listen when Des or whoever is talking and is just formulating what he’s going to say next. She did seem annoyed at one point when he kept talking over her.

    Not interested in Chris anymore after this episode, between the high heels, bad poetry, and “friend zone tee hee.” Almost all of these guys are so effeminate and it’s driving me kind of crazy.

  4. celmim

    June 18, 2013 at 11:04 AM

    “Boom goes the dynamite” = college kid from Ball State University.

    Enough said.

  5. randais

    June 18, 2013 at 12:18 PM

    **THE VOICE**
    Can’t believe I’m saying this, I’m loving “The Swon Brothers”, liking Danielle too, either one could win and I’d be good. Those boys won me over last night, what can I say?

    Elizabeth – I don’t watch any of the videos either, I barely read the recap since I’m not watching the show, it’s of little interest.

    And I NEVER read the emails, they are all ridiculous especially since they are asking for RS’ opinion, that just makes no sense to me.

    I have no idea what an “haiku” is, must have skipped school that day, but nice call out, Rolling.

  6. lcs85

    June 18, 2013 at 12:36 PM

    @rolling yeah his “haiku” was a 7- 7-8. Not that I care about RS haiku writing abilities, but come on. If you are going to make fun of other’s poems and say how even a 7th grader can do it, at least get it right. I think Steve just needs to learn what a syllable is.

  7. lcs85

    June 18, 2013 at 12:37 PM

    @randais- Just like getting Steve money then? Seems like a waste of time to come here when you don’t watch the videos, you don’t read the recaps, you don’t read the emails… Whats left? Staring at Steve’s picture up top?

  8. randais

    June 18, 2013 at 12:52 PM

    Ics – I interact with “others” on here about other topics/shows, so it’s a waste of time I’m willing to make, occasionally but thanks for the concern.

  9. montrealaise

    June 18, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    They didn’t film this episode in Atlantic City to give the Red Cross some publicity.
    From Wikipedia: “Miss America 2014, the 87th Miss America pageant, will be held at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, New Jersey for the first time since 2005 on September 15, 2013.[2] It will be broadcast live on ABC”.
    And the host of the pageant is none other than – Chris Harrison.

  10. iheartvino

    June 18, 2013 at 12:59 PM

    Personally, I normally don’t watch the videos on here, (unless they are the movie clips from the 80’s or 90’s) but it doesn’t bother me that he posts so many because I can just scroll past them if they don’t interest me. No biggie.

    Happy to know I wasn’t the only one questioning the amount of syllables in the haiku. I may or may not have actually counted them out on my fingers, too.

    *The Voice*
    Randais, I’m with you re: the Swon Bros. I really, REALLY do not want Michelle to win. I just don’t get what the appeal is about her. She doesn’t have that great of a voice and most of the songs she sang throughout the season weren’t a good fit for her at all. I was so bummed when Sarah went home so early because I thought she was the best by far. So tonight I hope the Swon Bros win, but if they don’t, then I hope it’s Danielle.

  11. Sunnyside422

    June 18, 2013 at 1:19 PM

    I always keep the book I am currently reading next to me on the couch so I can read and eliminate watching most of the Bachelorette/Bachelor! The whole episode with James and his lame date was definitely over the top.and I read through most of it. This show is NEVER about putting on a good face…namely charity work. There is always another reason.

    I feel for the displaced couple and hope they don’t get too much backlash from exposing themselves to this insipid show! Waaay too much emphasis on them.

    James has joined the group of “meatheads” in my opinion. He looks like he needs a shower and a good shampoo!

    I will say Des is still looking very uncomfortable in her role as lead. Sad. Maybe she realizes the show has played her big time with this bunch of losers. Every time I look at Brooks and those choppers, goofy grin and odd way of speaking, I just can’t believe he was her final pick! I’d pick no one if I had been her and the heck with the production!

  12. randais

    June 18, 2013 at 1:32 PM

    iheart – I LOVED Sarah, I was disappointed when she left as well and we agree about Michelle, in my opinion, her best feature is that her names rhyme (sort of) :D.

  13. lcs85

    June 18, 2013 at 1:43 PM

    @randais, not concerned at all. Just find it odd that people spend their time doing stuff they are not interested in.

    Although I guess I have to give you props for at least not watching the show you’re uninterested in. Really don’t understand those people who complain about how horrible the show is, but then watch it anyway as if they have no choice. Is life that empty and boring that you force yourself to watch a show you hate? Read a book, change the channel, go outside… Anything but waste life on something you hate so much!

  14. bigfatwoman

    June 18, 2013 at 1:53 PM

    @randais …..agree with you about the videos, but my guess is that the number of pages Steve publishes correlates into revenue, so he must need filler. 9 times out of 10 I don’t look.

    I fell asleep during this episode during the Manny/Jan episode. This nice couple got pimped out in order to manipulate the audience….it went on way too long.

    As I’ve said before, I follow Sean and Catherine on twitter. They’re still living in LA to milk their 15 mins. They were recently on Good Morning America and Catherine tweeted out, “only for #GMA will I wake up this early. For GMA and McDonald’s hash browns.”

    In general all of her tweets are very cutesy and contain made up words….she’s totally full of herself these days and I’m no longer a fan of either her or Sean. Totally sucking up the limelight and I don’t find them authentic at all. Just waiting and watching for them to fizzle.

    Anyway, I tweeted back….”ugh. Ego much?”

    And with that—she blocked me. Exactly my point.

  15. OSherrie

    June 18, 2013 at 2:12 PM

    Oh, Reality. Oh, the humanity! I don’t envy you having to find something to fill a blog while recapping this incredibly, painfully STUPID episode. But I did have time to do a little math during Des’ date with James and I couldn’t help but laugh when James confessed to cheating on his girlfriend of 5-1/2 years when he was a FRESHMAN in college. The guy apparently dated ONE girl from 13-1/2 to 19 and then “cheated.” Is that even “cheating” or just a really desperate exit strategy? Sorry, but if he was my son I would have darn well insisted that he “sample a few more chocolates” before he commits to buying a lifetime supply at 19 … to put it quaintly.

  16. randais

    June 18, 2013 at 2:14 PM

    BFW – LOL “she blocked me”, no great loss on your part, I suspect.

  17. lmh0195

    June 18, 2013 at 2:36 PM

    Definitely a snooze fest for sure. As mentioned before Desiree seems like a sweet cute girl but I just don’t think she has that “wow” factor like the other bachelorettes had in the past. Also her pick of guys is kinda slim too compared to Emily’s and others seasons. I’m still going to watch because I like to see how things play out but we r all so lucky to have reality steve’s hilarious recaps and spoilers to keep us entertained. All the videos he posted had me rolling. Especially “Boom goes the dynamite”!! lmao! Could definitely see y he posted them because as he stated before he really didn’t have much to work with on this episode.

  18. lexie

    June 18, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    This episode was, without a doubt, the absolute worst of the season. Hopefully next week we will have some drama and man tears.

  19. Athena

    June 18, 2013 at 3:44 PM

    (Sorry Steve – you’ve done your best, but you sure didn’t have much tow work with.) My most pressing question after the episode and Steve’s recap is: “poem” – one syllable or two????? Inquiring minds need to know.

  20. lcs85

    June 18, 2013 at 4:07 PM

    @Athena even if poem is only 1 syllable (although I pronounce it with 2) the first line is still 6 syllables instead of 5 since Chris’ is 2 syllables.

  21. Athena

    June 18, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    Thanks ICS85. Haikus are fun, and those of you who mentioned learning them in Jr. High are definitely right (even waaayyy back when 🙂

  22. rob22

    June 18, 2013 at 7:59 PM

    Prediction: RS will have some pissy comment in his next blog about people criticizing his bad haiku. It will either go the “I never said I was a poet, geez, lighten up!” or the “people who criticize my haiku have no lives”.

  23. jillbeau

    June 18, 2013 at 7:59 PM

    I have to agree with what Steve said about Atlantic City. It’s an hour and a half from here and I’ve only been there about 3 times. It’s mediocre at best, absolutely dismal is some parts. I felt bad that ABC picked this as one of the destinations for this season. I’ve never been to Revel, it’s the newest casino/hotel down there. They made such a big deal when it opened last year…I’m pretty sure that Beyonce even played a concert there for the opening. Since then I believe they had to file for bankruptcy. I’m guessing Atlantic City put out some big money for some publicity.

  24. mommyof2

    June 18, 2013 at 9:37 PM

    I have to agree with Steve on Atlantic City. When CH announced they were going to AC, I looked at my husband incredulously, and he even said, “Why would they want to go there?” I went once in college and wasn’t impressed at all. My only trip to the Jersey Shore was to Atlantic Beach, NJ when I was about 7 tears old. It was the summer that needles washed up on shore, and my aunt had to tell my brother and I to watch out for needles in the sand. Then a huge seagull crapped on me, which felt like a slap on my head and leg. Then, my brother and I walked to the store to get a half gallon of milk, and we couldn’t understand the store clerk with his Jersey accent, and he couldn’t understand us with our Southern accents (which are not even deep-South). Yes, we all spoke the same language, but couldn’t communicate. It was the worst trip to the beach ever, and we never went back again. I’m thinking Desiree and the guys weren’t too excited about going either. However, I do feel terrible for all of the families affected by the damage of Hurricane Sandy.

  25. mommyof2

    June 18, 2013 at 9:42 PM

    This show was boring
    Hope it gets better next week
    I won’t hold my breath

  26. wavecatchingmom

    June 18, 2013 at 9:59 PM

    I skipped the James date after reading some of the recap and I thought the rest was at least entertaining. I feel a bit robbed of more of the goofy performances and awkward alone moments as they wasted so much time on that weird tangent of the older couple. I think Ali was this awkward right? but not as boring as Des. blah… I find myself rooting for Chris, he seems like the only guy on there with any spark of intelligence. kind of like the Emily in Ben’s season.

  27. Athena

    June 19, 2013 at 4:00 AM

    mommyof2: A+

  28. agatha bee

    June 19, 2013 at 4:56 AM

    I wish they would focus more on showing the guys and not these PSA dates where a cause is featured. I really think Des was DEVASTATED by James’ comment on his cheating, her face told the story that he was toast, so I only think she kept him because of the “nature” of the date. She couldn’t kick him off at that point, it would have been awkward.

  29. randais

    June 19, 2013 at 5:45 AM


    Way to go Danielle, well deserved! Wish Usher and Shakira were doing next season too, I can handle Ceelo but Christina gets on every nerve in my body :\. I think Christina Milian is a waste also, I could do without her contributions on this show. BUT I LOVE THIS SHOW ANYWAY!

  30. randais

    June 19, 2013 at 5:45 AM

    OH and Kudo’s to Blake…again.

  31. everglades

    June 19, 2013 at 6:56 AM

    randais: *The Voice*

    SO happy about Danielle!!!! And about Christina Milian…Oh my word. Cannot handle her. We actually mute the TV when she comes on lol.

    * UTD * So excited for the premiere next week! It’s gonna be great!

  32. Dianne

    June 19, 2013 at 9:25 AM

    Who IS this lcs person? Wow..can you get any more opinionated? randis is only stating a point regarding watching this train wreck of a show. It has to be THE most boring season yet. I’ve given up, and won’t be watching anymore, but hey, if someone else, namely randis wants to watch and comment, then power to her/him. You, lcs, need to keep your comments in check.

  33. locondcoco

    June 19, 2013 at 9:40 AM

    is it me or have they had a “private concert” on every episode so far? and from the promos, there are more to come.

  34. Sunnyside422

    June 19, 2013 at 10:29 AM

    Unfortunately this show keep recycling the same dates season after season and, sadly, the same dumb music to coincide with the dates! The budget for this show has to be huge (even if the resorts give them freebees), you’d think they could at least change the music!

    Since we all know the outcome…no lasting relationships for the most part…the show is too predicable to be interesting.

  35. elizabeth82

    June 19, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    @Dianne, I think randais did a fine job explaining/defending herself. Jus sayin.

    @locondcoco, I totally agree. I don’t think they’ve ever trotted out this many singers in previous seasons.

  36. randais

    June 19, 2013 at 1:02 PM

    Ever – she’s like Cat Deely on SYTYCD…..just annoying.

    Dianne – thanks, but it’s all good. Well all have our opinions and this isn’t the first time someone has disagreed, probably won’t be the last….. I just carry on :D.

  37. loverain

    June 20, 2013 at 8:06 AM

    Bigfatwoman, even without ‘celebrity’ status I would have blocked you from my account as well. We all form our opinions on these public figures but I wish we could keep in mind that until proven right, frankly your opinion is just that…YOURS and not necessarily the truth!! I am guessing you are in a happier place now since she blocked you, because you don’t have to be torchered by her tweets anymore.

    I enjoyed reading your recap on monday’s episode Steve. Thanks.

  38. oyoung1117

    June 20, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    Des was freaking out when James told her he cheated. You can tell she thinks once a cheater always a cheater and hates all cheaters. Like someone else said, she kept him because of the nature of the date. Actually her whole response made me think she isn’t fully over the guy who cheated on her.
    Des was easily my favorite during Sean’s season, but she isn’t carrying the show well and the guys aren’t good enough to make it their show either. She just isn’t glamorous like Emily, passionate like Ashley, or “girl next door” enough like Ali. Des is literally just a really cool girl and that isn’t super entertaining.
    I remember during Sean’s season, like I said she was my favorite, but during the day time portion of her hometown date with Sean they went on a hike and Sean started telling her about how he had a special jogging path in Texas he liked to use and she just kept saying in this artificially sweet voice, “That’s good. That’s good” and it was like she wasn’t even really listening she was just responding. That whole part made me really think she may not be a great communicator and it turns out that that little scene with Sean has been really her personality all season except when she gets tipsy on group dates and can’t stop giggling.
    I really think between her group of mostly homosexual guys and her lack of charm no one is buying that these guys are really into her at all. With Emily you knew they all thought she was hot. With Ashley only a few of the guys seemed impressed but they really did seem to have crushes. And Ali was such a flirt you felt like the guys were really liking her. Des can’t flirt, she is beautiful, but nothing they couldn’t pick up in a bar on a given Friday night, and the only guys who seem to have “crushes” on her seem to be crushing on the other guys a little harder.
    I have a feeling this is going to be a season the Bach producers really regret.

  39. elizabeth82

    June 20, 2013 at 12:04 PM

    This season can’t possibly end up being worse than Ben’s . . . can it?!


  40. katefredericks

    June 20, 2013 at 2:57 PM

    I grew up on the Jersey Shore and my family still lives there and even THAT could not entice me to watch this boring show after the 2nd episode! First Season of Bachelorette I am not watching. Producers take note:

    Mommyof2 and elizabeth82 = A+++++

  41. karynr

    June 23, 2013 at 9:09 AM

    I can’t seem to stay awake through last Monday’s episode. I’ve made it through her date with James, who seems par for the course this season. Des and her dorks……or Des, the meatheads and the men who seem to, maybe, want a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend?

    Big Brother starts soon!

    The Voice
    I’m sorry Michelle didn’t win, but Danielle deserved it too. I had a feeling from the very beginning that she’d take it all. There were quite a few really talented kids and I like the show lot. This is the first season I’ve tried to watch every show, and I get such a kick out of Blake, Adam, etc. And, I like Shakira and Usher a lot better than Christina and Celo.

  42. karynr

    June 23, 2013 at 9:15 AM

    One more thing…they need to confiscate the hair gel. I find it very distracting, which is a good indicator of how boring this season is, so far.

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