Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Dr. Reality Steve,” & The Most Negative Batch of “Reader Emails” Regarding a Season That I Can Remember

RS,

First off, I love your sarcastic take on this show! It definitely keeps me interested in an otherwise repetitive show!

My question is about Sean’s text from Monday night. Did you see where he wants Jef Holm to be the next bachelor? Is this a joke? The guy can’t even spell his name like an adult or wear men’s pants. Please tell me he is not in the running to be the next bachelor! I realize the ratings are down for this season, but surely one of Des’s guys could be better than Jef. Also, now that you have watched half of the season, do you still think Drew is a contender for the next bachelor? They have barely shown him all season. He certainly lacks an “edge” that Chris Harrison thinks Des is also lacking.

P.S. Chris is a snoozefest. I think Zak is the only remotely entertaining guy in the top four. What are your thoughts?!

Comment: Ha ha…yet another “is Jef gonna be the next Bachelor” question. The short answer is no. The long answer could go on for pages.

I still don’t see Zak as the lead. He’s not the type they go for.
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Hi RS!

Just wanted to know who you like better as a person, based on what you know about either: Emily or Jef? I know it’s long overdue since they’re old news but I was a big fan of both and based on what I’m reading, (I mean based on your hints and random tabloid browsing before LOL) it seems Jef got over Emily fast but it also seems no one buys Emily’s sob story anymore either. Who do you think handled their situation/relationship/breakup better?

Thanks for your insight this season. Des is a snooze fest. Might have been because all of Sean’s girls were drama free and des learned to let go of Ben cause of Tierra.

Comment: I don’t think either handled it great, but if you’re making me choose – Emily. And it’s not even close.

Man, a lot of Jef Holm hate this week.
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Thanks for answering my questions last week. I’ve got some more for you 🙂

1. Do the people who get a rose on a date get a new rose to wear at the rose ceremony or do they wear the one they got on the date?

2. If the lead supposedly doesn’t know about the drama going on with certain people in the house why is the questionable contestant always one of the last two waiting on a rose? Is it editing? Do producers know who the lead wants to keep and then tell them to call people in a certain order?

– For example, it was down to Mikey and James last night. We all “know” about what James said and he was called last.

3. We see each rose ceremony ending with a toast. What happens afterwards? Do they all hang out? For a long time? Do they shoot that scene, drink their drink, and then leave immediately? I was curious if the lead spends more time with the contestants.

4. Not only are the guys boring but they all dress alike! I noticed it early on in the season when all the guys were in a different color solid t-shirt. The last few episodes seemed to get a little better until last night. The guys were all in the room while Chris (I think) was on a date. They all had the same exact zip up, hooded, cotton jacket on…just in a different color! The sameness in clothes seems to be too much of a coincidence, even though they are all such “buddies”. Did someone shop for them? Did they all go shopping together?

Comment: 1) I’m pretty sure it’s the same rose. I’m also pretty sure that was about as random and irrelevant of a question about this show as I’ve ever gotten. Does it matter?

2) That’s done for television purposes. It’s either shot in a different order than we see and it’s just edited to look like that order when the episode airs, or, they’re told the order in which to give out the roses, since the lead has already told the producers who she’s keeping. Kinda like how Probst reads off the names at Tribal. Obviously, the parchments are placed in an order to make the elimination as suspenseful as possible, so the cards are rearranged in a certain order. If the vote ends up being 4-3, they won’t read the person who has the 4 votes all first. They’ll either do 3-3-1, or alternate names.

3) They leave shortly thereafter. The lead does not get a lot of down time with the guys.

4) A lot of their clothes are from the stuff they get in their goodie bag for being on the show.
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Hi Steve:

In today’s Boston Herald on the “Inside Track” page you were noted. The article was about..get this…how Brooks Forester resembles Tom Brady the even say “dead ringer”…still don’t see it. They showed a photo of a “well groomed” Brooks (with short hair) next to an old photo of Brady…still don’t see it. They compared how they are both same height & weight, cleft chin…but I still don’t see it.

Then there is the “spoiler alert” that he is the last man standing…here is your mention.

“According to Reality Steve, who has made it his life’s mission to (accurately) predict the outcome of every season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette it comes down to a contest between Forester & mortage broker Chris Siegfried. But of course Chris doesn’t stand a chance against Brady Lite”

Thought you would like to know unless you already do?

This is my first email but I have been watching since mid-Jason season & have been reading your site since then…you crack me up!

I have not been watching much of Des’s season though….seems every Monday has been hockey playoffs & now Stanley Cup finals (Go Bruins) which could have a factor on the ratings. Even though I don’t follow every regular season game, when it comes to playoffs/finals & the Bs are in..well…Des doesn’t stand a chance. (watching game right now not Bachelorette) But since I know the spoilers & read the recap….I’m good.

Comment: Didn’t know that. Thanks for passing it on. Although, I don’t see the Brooks/Tom Brady thing at all.
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Hi Steve,

This is my first email to you & I know people tell you this all the time so ill just join the club & say, I love your site. I think you’re hilarious & when I find out anyone watches the bachelor I steer them to ur website (ur welcome for the possible 3 people I’ve sent ur way ;-). )

Anyway, as embarrassing as it is to say, I’ve watched every episode of every season since season 1 (and no I don’t live alone w/ 9 cats) but I have to say des’s season is by far the worst I’ve ever seen. I don’t know if its her lack of personality or her horrible guys but its BAD. So my question to u is this…. Given the low the ratings this season, do u think they are even going to consider one of des’s guys to be the next bachelor. Or do u think they’ll dig someone up from the past? As a fan of the show I hope they pick someone from past seasons. Hell, I think I’d rather watch brad 3.0 before watching drew zach or Chris. Anyway, just wondering what ur thoughts were & if if you’ve heard anything.

Comment: It will be discussed in Tuesday’s column. I’ve given this one a lot of thought.
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Hi Steve,

I’ll start this like most of your emailers do by saying I’m a huge fan and absolutely love your blog! I quite enjoy lording the fact that I know the ending over my sister who refuses to read spoilers. She wants me to watch a season without knowing the end, but I think I’d miss your recaps too much to try and do that!

Condolences also about the Emily O and JLH news. I know you must be gutted. SO now my questions:

1. Do the producers have any say about whether or not the lead cancels the cocktail party? Can they tell her to have/not have one?

2. If you ignore the fact that they are participating in a tv dating show, are there any guys on Des’ season that seem like guys you would be friends with?

3. I just saw your tweet to Ashley and her response…is she supposed to acknowledge your existence? Have you met contestants/leads that like you or are friends with you but aren’t allowed to publicly talk about it?

4. Most importantly…how’s Maddie? I miss your video blogs with her. She’s so cute! Dogs are the best…screw cat people.

Comment: 1) I’m sure they do.

2) I’m sure there are a couple.

3) I don’t think it was that big of deal. It’s not like we were trading show secrets or anything. There are plenty of former contestants I’ve spoken with that I don’t talk about publicly. It’s not that I’m not allowed to, I just don’t see the point.

4) Maddie is great. Pretty soon, she’ll have a bigger yard to play in. I tried telling her but she has no idea what I’m saying.
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As was mentioned in the comments, what is going on with the zip up hoodies? Same style but different colors for some of the guys. Are the hoodies part of Chris’s line of clothes?

The snowball fight was so lame since it was not packing snow. Very weird scenes, Des getting hit in the face, Des tackled and then the last scene of Des while on the ground getting hit in the crotch.

FF is my friend this season.

Comment: No, but I’m sure it was part of the guys’ goodie bag when they got on the show. As were the parkas in Monday’s episode.

When I first read your last sentence, I thought “Follow Friday is your friend this season? Huh?” Then I realized you meant “fast forward.” Judging by this week’s batch of emails, seems like you’re not the only one.
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Steve,

Since longer question columns allow me to procrastinate more at work, I thought I would throw a couple more questions at you:

1) Please confirm that Jef Holm is never going to be the Bachelor. A girl at work said Sean tweeted asking if people would be interested in seeing him as the Bachelor. I can’t imagine anything worse (unless maybe it was Arie or James). Given what I know about the “Powers that Be” from reading your column, do you think this was an attempt by producers to gauge the interest in Jef by having Sean tweet about it? Don’t you also think that using a Bachelor from two seasons ago is a pretty big admission that Desiree’s current group of guys blow?

2) Would you agree that the ex Desiree was mentioning on her date with Chris was not Sean? It seemed pretty clear that she was talking about someone she had a long term relationship with, which could not have been Sean. Just shows how BS it is that they play up how heartbroken each lead is when they were dumped as a contestant when Des doesn’t even consider him to be her most recent serious relationship.

3) What’s your timeline for sharing your info on Brooks? Is it even going ot be worth the build up? I get that you gotta build up some hype for your website, but I was curious. You know how annoying it is when certain producers (who shall remain nameless) hype something up without a good payoff.

4) Did you watch Skywire? Thoughts? I watched and followed along on twitter. I forgot how awesome it is to watch a whole country make fun of a pop culture event as it is happening.

5) What do you think are the odds are of Tebow being the Patriot’s starting TE game 1 of the season? I absolutely hate all the Tebow hype by ESPN, but you gotta admit it is crazy the way he keeps being given opportunities to prove himself. Who would have expected what is happening with Gronk and Hernandez?

Comment: 1) The Jef Holm questions continue. Man, people must be really sick of that guy…

2) No doubt it wasn’t Sean. I thought she was pretty clear it was a guy from a while back who she’d been seeing for a while.

3) I’m glad you brought this up. What buildup have I given? I’ve said 4 words on Twitter about it. If people want to build it up because I teased it, that’s on them. All I said was “Oh Brooks, Brooks, Brooks” and nothing more. It’s others that seem to be building it up, not me. Has nothing to do with building viewership to my site or anything of the such. I sent out a 4 word tweet, and people freak out. Happens a lot when I say stuff, but that’s on them. It’s not like I tweeted “Explosive, earth shattering, you-don’t-want-to-miss-this info on Brooks coming soon!” Then I’d say people would have a reason to freak out.

Sometimes I forget that there are plenty of crazies out there that hang on every single word I say, and sometimes I write stuff without thinking. But the crazies read it as something much more dramatic than it really is. I can’t control that. Whether or not this is a big deal to people will all come down to personal opinion. I mean, I did clearly state Tuesday that they’re still engaged, so take that into consideration.

I have my reasons as to why I’m not giving the info out now and it’s certainly not because I need to get more hits to my site. Frankly, I don’t need to resort things like that. My reasons are ones I can’t get into, and if that’s not a good enough answer for you, well, I don’t care. My readers are solid every season, no matter if the season sucks or not. Resorting to tactics like that is for blogs that don’t have an audience and are begging for people to read them. I’ve been doing this 10 years. I don’t need to do that. I just tweeted it because when I got the info I had, that was the first thought that came to my head. Nothing more, nothing less. People sometimes need to calm down when I say stuff and not take everything as such a giant life or death matter when it comes to this show. Unfortunately, there’s a select portion of this show’s viewers that does, and that’s just sad.

4) I did. And I think that guy is batsh** crazy. I also think, and this is no disrespect to him and what he does because you couldn’t get me up there in a million years, but I do think what he did is a lot “easier” than it looks. Meaning that the fact they went live with something like that, and if he falls we’re basically watching human life ending on live TV, makes me think that they knew there was really zero chance at him falling. Or at least a very slim chance. But it was still great television.

To me it was almost like watching magic. Like, I know you’re not really sawing a human in half, and there’s obviously something behind it that only a selected few in the world can do, but it still is crazy to watch. That’s the way I felt watching SkyWire. He has a skill that .00000000000001% of the population has, and he’s so good at it, that his odds of actually falling off that thing were a lot less than what the average person would think.

5) They might as well at this point. I don’t know why Tebow even tries to be a QB anymore. Just go to fullback or tight end so you can at least maybe have an impact on a game. Did God put him on this earth to wear a hat backwards and hold a clipboard his whole career? I think not.

I read on ESPN today that if Gronk isn’t back for Week 1, their top FIVE receivers from last season won’t be on the roster Opening Day this year. That’s a lot of receptions they’ll have to make up.
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Hey, I don’t know if this is the right place to ask questions, but I’ll just go for it.

After listening to the Jason/Molly podcast, I’m wondering what else I don’t know. I’m a video editor by profession and cynic by nature, so I definitely know a lot of tricks of the trade. But even I probably don’t realize how much of the show is contrived.

So my question is, do you know if the bachelor/bachelorette chooses who goes on which dates? Or do the producers choose?

Thanks! All the best!

Comment: Producers choose.
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Hi Steve,

Why does everyone refer to Juan Pablo as Juan Pablo, instead of just Juan? All the rest of the guys are referred to only by their first name. I know 2 guys from Venezuela and they just go by a single first name. I don’t get it.

1 name or 2, he is a sexy little beast. My vote is for him for the next Bachelor.

Comment: He has no chance of being the next Bachelor, and I have no idea why he’s being called that.
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Michael brought up religion and going to church on his two-on-one which brought to mind a few questions…

1) I know Brooks is Mormon, but who is Jewish?

2) When Des appeared on Sean’s season, I got the impression that her faith was important to her. Was this just a front since she knew it was important to Sean? I haven’t heard her mention anything this season, or am I missing something?

3) Can leads tell producers, when they are casting, that they wouldn’t marry someone outside their faith? Would this affect producers casting decisions, or will they do what they please and its up to the lead to weed out the ones they don’t want?

4) What’s your opinion on Des’ questions to the guys during the Hot Tug portion, when she asked do you prefer someone different or similar to you? What do you think works better? (I liked Ben’s response about having the same values/life style choices, yet having some differences to keep it interesting and balance each other out)

Comment: 1) I’m assuming he was talking about Elan the producer since I don’t believe any of the 11 guys that landed in Germany are Jewish.

2) No, they haven’t mentioned it, but maybe because they did a lot on Sean’s season, they didn’t want that to play any sort of role this season.

3) I’m sure they tell them who they like and don’t like, but will it ultimately affect who gets cast on the show? Probably not. They are going to cast the best possible group of guys that they think will provide them with the best show. They just happened to whiff on that this season.

4) I agree with Ben, but that’s my personal preference. Others will differ. I don’t want to date a clone of myself. Then again, I’m not a believer in opposites attract either. You have to have a mix of both.
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Hi Steve,

I highly doubt that you want to spend your day reading a lengthy peer-review journal article, but I thought it was interesting to see that someone at the university where I’m doing grad work had attempted to make an academic study of why The Bachelor is such a perennially popular show. You can see the full text here if you’d like:

http://ojs.acu.edu/ojs/index.php/conversations/article/view/6/2

Interestingly, the author confirmed the sorts of things that you say all the time in your blog – that producers piece together footage and clips to create a story that appeals to readers. Specifically, she identified two main “genres” of narrative, the same sorts of story lines that we are used to seeing in movies, books, etc: the “Fairytale Romance” (or, as I prefer, “fanty-tale”) and “Love as a Journey.” Even though reality tv is unscripted, producers use the footage they have to basically write a script and invent a story. The Bachelor is popular because it tells the same sort of love story that we are used to finding in fiction, but it’s given a veneer of truth because its characters are real people supposedly finding real love. It’s essentially romance fiction being touted as reality.

Anyway, all that to say congratulations for successfully communicating to your readers in a witty, entertaining blog what took an M.A. student 12 pages of dry/technical writing to express.

Comment: You’re right. I don’t want to read a 12 page report someone did on the show. But if your summary is what they wrote about, then they should receive an “A” because that’s exactly what the show is doing.

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21 Comments

21 Comments

  1. Athena

    June 27, 2013 at 10:09 AM

    Ok, this season is sooo boring that now I’m feeling compelled to fantasize about Steve’s dating life. He and the person who wrote the email about Sarah Herron’s blog were both spot-on – she is HILARIOUS! How cool would it be if the two of them got together?!? Why? Because Sarah needs more dancing in her life and Steve seems like just the kind of guy who could give it to her, and becuse she’s just the kind of gal who could equal him in sarcastic dry humor We could all write haikus or or make up silly poems about it – like this one: “Steve and Sarah sitting in a tree, d – a – n – c, i n g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes blogging and a baby carriage.”

  2. mariet

    June 27, 2013 at 11:17 AM

    I see Sean has hired an agent. He won’t be leaving LA to go back to Texas to sell insurance without a fight. ugh

  3. Sunnyside422

    June 27, 2013 at 11:49 AM

    So not surprising! Everyone one of these nothings from the franchise believe themselves to be the next amazing star! Guess Hollywood made him a better offer than God ever did.

    Why can’t ach of them take their 15 minutes and walk off into the sunset!

  4. freeasabird

    June 27, 2013 at 1:37 PM

    Whatever happened to Sean’s 1/3 interest in Factory Girl?

    To whoever is following Ash(I’m adopted)Lee and Brad.. any updates? I think maybe it was BFW.

  5. bigfatwoman

    June 27, 2013 at 1:59 PM

    Yes it was me following AshLee, but I unfollowed her a while ago. She tweets too much ridiculous stuff about getting organized, etc.

    Twitter is a very interesting look inside someone’s ego. I’m not on Facebook, never have been, but I do like Twitter. I like to follow people that I find interesting (for good or bad reasons), but I keep it private, I rarely tweet and I have zero followers. It’s a great way to keep up on trends and the news of the world.

    Having said that….I told you already Catherine blocked me, but I do still follow Sean. Yes he has had an agent for a while and yes, I think he is totally full of himself and Catherine has become his very willing sidekick. They are both sucking up their 15 minutes of fame with vigor and they gross me out. I will laugh when they break up because it’s inevitable.

    Sean has also been campaigning for Jef to the be new Bachelor and I feel the same way about him. Like Steve said, total opportunist.

    The only Bach couple that I like is JP and Ashley and maybe Trista and Ryan. They seem like real people.

  6. rob22

    June 27, 2013 at 2:14 PM

    Regarding Nick Wallenda the “batshi*” crazy guy who crossed the Grand Canyon (and previously crossed Niagra Falls), he is the grandson or great grandson of Karl Wallenda, who used to do the same stunts years ago (before network TV), and got a fraction of the pay. He’d do walks between skyscrapers, across deep gourges, and all the same stuff as Nick is doing. He did it until his mid 70s when he fell during one of his stunts, in Brazil I think, and died. Nick, like Karl, is in great shape and practices his stunts dozens and dozens of times (at lower heights). He even introduces variables like wind, rain, etc. so he learns to handle them. These days, with the money involved in these shows, he doesn’t just show up somewhere and do the stunt. He practices the specific conditions for months. So, by the time he actually does the show, he knows that he’s not going to fall. It’s a special talent, no doubt, but he spends a lot of preparation time and effort. So, it’s not as crazy as it seems. Still, like with Karl, he only has to make a mistake one time to pay with his life.

  7. rob22

    June 27, 2013 at 2:19 PM

    Gotta call out RS on the Brooks, Brooks, Brooks tweet. So, he puts that out there, doesn’t explain it & thinks there’s going to be no curiosity?? What? It was an obvious tease, with the purpose of getting people interested…. and there is no other reason for a tease than to keep people reading, despite his protestations to the contrary. Come on RS, stop the BS. It’s pretty transparent what you’re doing & please stop playing innocent. It’s irksome to read your complaints when readers react to your nonsense.

  8. karynr

    June 27, 2013 at 2:24 PM

    Athena, after reading Sarah Herron’s blog, which is a really fun read, I think she needs to meet Chris from Des’ season.

    Don’t forget, Jen Frase is hysterical too! I think Sarah just joined the ranks of my top three favorite Tuesday reading, including RS and Jen.

  9. Athena

    June 27, 2013 at 3:12 PM

    About all the criticizing we all do of the “contestants” who then think they are “stars”: the fact is that just about anyone who experiences any level of fame then wants more of it. It’s really kind of like a drug high. It’s not pleasant to watch, but it’s really pretty normal to then want “more”. I’m not going to criticize any of them for going for it as I’m sure most all of us, or at least me, would do the same. As my mama used to warn me: “heroin makes you feel soooo good, it’s almost impossible not to get hooked”. Despite my checkered past, I can’t speak to the truth of this, but from what I’ve seen, I think she was pretty close to right.

  10. elizabeth82

    June 27, 2013 at 3:43 PM

    My post didn’t show up so take two. . .

    I have to agree with rob22 about Steve teasing “oh Brooks, Brooks, Brooks” and then saying he’ll reveal what he meant when the time is right and putting down people who ask about it. C’mon, dude, that is some BS.

  11. Sunnyside422

    June 27, 2013 at 4:04 PM

    Karynr: thanks for the Jen Frase reference! Totally forgot about her this season! She is awesome so if you are in the mood to laugh, do check her blog! Just read all the episode recaps. There is nothing serious about her blog…just taking apart the men (using the term loosely) and Des. Good read.

  12. mariet

    June 27, 2013 at 5:11 PM

    Yes, BFW, I totally agree with your third paragraph. Gross indeed! And freeasabird, I think the “Managing Partner” of Factory Girl was just a ruse after he became the Bachelor. Being a State Farm or Allstate agent–whatever– (which is exactly what he was on Emily’s season) was not cool enough for whoever he thinks he is. Sad.

  13. jsocial12

    June 28, 2013 at 8:51 AM

    I definitely love Steve’s spoilers and inside information; however, I find the TV without pity recaps to be a lot funnier (and shorter!). The whole “Oh Brooks, Brooks, Brooks” tweet..I agree with rob22, and it’s exactly why I don’t follow him on Twitter. Because of BS tweets like that.

  14. vessel

    June 28, 2013 at 12:01 PM

    Another great bachelor/ette blogger is “babefromtheburbs” She is absolutely hilarious. Very dry and snarky/sarcastic.

    To the woman 9 years older than her boyfriend: I am 10 years older than my husband (I’m 46, he is 36). We’ve been happily married for 5 years and have a 4 year old son together. Age just has never been an issue in any way for us because we don’t make it one. If you’re happy together it’s all that matters and I agree with Steve about not looking for trouble. Just because it’s more common in big gaps that the guy is the older one shouldn’t matter if you’re compatible. Go with it and be happy!

  15. elizabeth82

    June 28, 2013 at 12:21 PM

    @jsocial12: I love Television Without Pity’s recaps, too.

    @vessel: I think 10-year gaps are OK. Older than that and it may start to get weird. Anyone else see how James Woods (66) has another 20-year-old gf?

  16. rob22

    June 28, 2013 at 4:43 PM

    Yeah, 10 year age gaps are fine…. unless you’re 25. Jus sayin. James Woods is definitely a creeper. Has he been on anything, except for his frothing at the mouth appearances on Fox News, in the last 10 years?

  17. Kali

    June 29, 2013 at 8:23 PM

    I have a comment for Cheap Date (who wrote to Dr. RS) – your letter is a bit confusing. Either you’re willing to pay your way on a date, or you’re not. If you are, why are you complaining about it? If you’re not, why are you doing it? A bit of advice: What you accept, you teach. He’s learned you’re willing to pay your way, and it’s a bit late to change the lesson you’ve taught. If I were you, I’d (1) continue to pay my way and quit letting it bother me, or (2) split up with him and, when you start over, never offer to pay your way, if that’s the way you want your new relationship to be.

  18. gailer

    July 1, 2013 at 10:26 PM

    Let’s bring back Brad Womack again for the next Bachelor. Third time’s the charm! LOL

  19. chefmom3

    July 2, 2013 at 4:12 AM

    Another TWOP’er here!! Have been reading the forums for years but the funniest has to be the forums on the dumbest show ever to be on TV – The Following – omg so much snark & really funny stuff on those forums!

  20. gg24

    July 2, 2013 at 6:53 AM

    Kasey and Michael act like teenage girls who love drama and gossip. They still have alot of growing up to do and are extremely annoying when they whine. I was embarresed for “Mr. Prosecuter” who actually squirmed like a scared child when James sat next to him on the couch. He does not across as a real man, but an immature man/child. I can not wait until he is booted off.

  21. sunrisehawaii

    July 2, 2013 at 9:01 AM

    Michael, Drew, Kasey, definitely bromance, so not sure how they got passed the interview as straight men. How Michael’s excitement about James’ departure, was so much more important to him then the reason for being there (like he won and loved it). Now you’re showing your true colors Michael, yet when James was being real about what all of you are thinking, but afraid to say, wasn’t acceptable. Now that James is gone, we’re left with the most boring, uninteresting crew. I really may not continue to watch. I mean who does she have to choose from? A bunch of gossiping, rumormill men. Seriously? Who will they try to squeeze out next?

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