-Before the soccer group date starts, the gossip police decides to have a little pow-wow outside to get an update from Captain Drew to see if he followed through with his mission the previous. Michael and Kasey hear from their superior Drew that he did tell Des what he heard James say and that she wasn’t happy about it. Michael and Kasey may now continue on with their day since Drew just gave them their happy news. The tattle tales are very excited that Des knows now and are sure to drill it home even more later on that night. Look, I get that Drew and Kasey heard something in the car from James that set them off, however, if I’m Michael, after I was just in that whole mess last week with Ben, why would he possibly even want to stick himself in the middle of this? Hell, why would anybody outside of Drew and Kasey care about what they heard? Enough of this “We wanna stick up for Des” BS. Please. Let Kasey and Drew be bitches and bring it to her and leave yourself out of it. Man, what a bunch of whining babies some of these guys are. By no means am I defending what James did, I’m just shocked at the way some of the others acted towards it who didn’t hear it and nothing do with it. Baffling.
-The six guys get to the soccer stadium to play soccer. Talk about a hype machine. Remember the season opening press release that ABC had which stated there would be a “huge twist” in the soccer game? Uhhhh, I’m still waiting for that twist. If putting Desiree on the opposite team and having her play with five other wo/men is considered a twist, then that might’ve been one of the worst teased twists this show has ever done. Juan Pablo is without a doubt in his element on this date being a former professional soccer player. However, is there a reason he was so incessant on giving Des high fives during their practice? What was that all about? She kicked the ball – high five. She stopped the ball – high five. She puts her cleats on – high five. She tucked in her shirt – high five. Does he think he’s Puddy or something? I suggest backing away from the high fives Juan Pablo. Just a suggestion. I don’t see anyone high fiving Des, do you? Didn’t think so. High five = friend zone. I think the only time it’s acceptable to high five a girl is during bowling, because do you really need to hug and/or kiss after every frame? No. A good high five is acceptable. Although I remember a date I had a couple years ago where we went bowling, and after her turn every time, she wanted to come back and make out. It was awfully uncomfortable. No thanks. What are we in high school? We don’t need to do this 10 times during this game, thank you. Oh yeah, did I mention she was about 7 Jager bombs in at this point? Ugh. Horrible night.
-So the soccer match started, the Solteros vs Solteras. So I briefly whipped out my Spanish-to-English dictionary to learn that those mean “single, unmarried.” That was the team name each got? Couldn’t have come up something more creative than that? Then again, do we really know if James is single? I mean, he may have been then, but I can’t imagine he is now. I’m guessing for 4th of July, he and Mikey will be out on the boat with chicks galore and he’s laughing at what happened in this episode. He obviously wasn’t that into Des, despite what he said, so we can add him to the list of guys this season that weren’t. Seems to be growing. Anyway, the game itself was embarrassing. James may get a ton of chicks when he gets back to Chicago, but it certainly won’t be for his athletic skills on the soccer field. Holy crap, this guy played football in college at Miami OH, yet couldn’t move his feet to the left or right to stop a soccer ball? The final score was 10-2 yet I could’ve sworn they showed the ball going by James at least 56 times. You know what, let me go back and watch how many times the ball passed him and get back to you. Wait here. (Goes to watch replay). Ok, I’m back. They showed him giving up 14 goals. Nice editing per usual.
-Time for the after party, or as the gossip police probably referred to it as, “The Interrogation of James Case.” Sounds like a movie starring Liev Schreiber. Before we get to the James nonsense that basically covered this whole after party, Chris gets Des alone first and she takes him to her bedroom. Or a bedroom. Wherever they were that had a bed. Des was very impressed with Chris’ soccer skills even though the guys got destroyed and we basically saw none of them with any remote soccer skills outside of Juan Pablo. But nonetheless, Des is impressed with Chris which makes him blush. And if that compliment made him blush, he’s probably wetting himself now that Desiree wrote him a poem. Uh oh. Three episodes in a row poems are being exchanged between these two. And let me guess, on Chris’ last chance date with Des, when the guys give the girl a little memento, or some scrapbook they put together, Chris’ will have a poem, right? Can’t wait! Anyway, Des’ poem goes as follows: “From the first night, one knee on the ground, charming and handsome, instant attraction was found. The dodgeball game…” Zzzzzzzz…I’m sorry. I stopped writing. Zero interest in this poem or these two as a couple. But hey, very nice of you to write the guy a poem. He’s still up on you 2-1 right now, so get to writing.
-Kasey, Michael, and Chris confront James. Well, Kasey and Michael do. Chris is technically in the room, but doesn’t add anything and basically just keeps shush-ing them once the voices start getting loud. I would’ve preferred he took the Brick Tamland route and just started yelling “Loud noises!!!!” But unfortunately he didn’t. Kasey tells James that in the car last week while in Germany, he heard James say to Mikey: “If I can make the final four, I am in a very good spot to become the next Bachelor.” Also he said he heard Mikey talking about him and the girls that he could introduce him to in Chicago. You know, Mikey had his conference call last week with the media, and he addressed that very thing. This is what he said:
Reality TV World: This week’s broadcast showed Drew telling the other guys that he and Kasey had overheard a conversation you had with James in which James mentioned he could potentially be the next Bachelor if he makes it to the Top 4 and he something about taking your boat out and picking up beautiful girls with money. Did that really all happen as Drew and Kasey were shown explaining it? If not, could you clarify what James told you exactly?
Mikey Tenerelli: Sure, so basically what happened was James and I were on the group date together in Germany on the mountain top. If you recall, [Brooks Forester] got the group-date rose. Myself and James included, you know, I was good friends with James on the show, so him and I talked afterwards.
We both felt like we had a really good shot of getting that group-date rose, so when Brooks got it, I was upset. Because there were some guys in the house I had some similarities with and some guys I felt I was opposite to, and I really felt like I was opposite Brooks in terms of my look and my personality.
So when I continued to see him getting roses, especially when he got this group-date rose in Germany, I was frustrated. And what happened was James and I were talking on the way back in the car, and I was just kind of airing it out.
James and I were talking as friends talk. What we said was, “Hey you know, we hope this works out. If it doesn’t, we both live in Chicago. We’ll have a good time this summer.” I did mention the fact that I have a boat and we’ll take it out. It was a normal conversation. There was no mention of who was going to be the next Bachelor or anything like that.
It was more of just two guys just kind of saying, “Hey, if it doesn’t work out, life goes on and things happen,” you know? If Drew or any other guy or Desiree or anyone I know has never had that kind of conversation when they’ve been frustrated with something or someone, then please bring them forward, because that would be bizarre to me.
So Mikey is admitting the conversation took place, but of course left out the “we’ll have chicks all over us on that boat” part. How convenient. And James admitted as much that that part of the conversation did take place, so it’s kinda pointless to dispute that. It’s the intention behind it where there seems to be two different trains of thought.
-First James tries to defend himself by saying, “I don’t think I was the one that started that conversation.” Great. Who cares who started it, you were in it, nor do I remember the guys saying you started it. Where Michael should just butt out of this whole thing is when James attacks him telling him “You didn’t hear anything…this is hearsay” to which he’d be absolutely correct. But since it’s that time of month for Michael, and god forbid there’s an argument going on that he’s not a part of, he HAS to insert himself into this one. You know, because he’s protecting Des. Uh huh. James is back defending himself: “I didn’t bring that sh** up, Mikey did…we were talking and saying, ‘Hey, if the worst comes to worst, if I make the final four…” and that pretty much set the guys off. Again. When Kasey gets his alone time with Desiree, he basically reiterates what Drew told her on his date about James. Bitches. All of them. Enough already. Do I think James said these things with Mikey? Yes. Do I think the other guys are overreacting? Absolutely. Do I think that every single one of these guys in the back of their head, whether it be when they signed up for the show or while they were on it, thought in the back of their head that if they don’t win, they’d be considered for the next “Bachelor?” Without a doubt. Problem with James is he talked about it “publicly” and got caught by the gossip police. You don’t want to mess with those guys. You get their panties in a wad, and they’re running straight to Desiree.
-Des cancels the rest of the after party and wants to talk to James alone. The guys are convinced this is the end of James. Apparently they haven’t watched this show enough. Des brings James over to the love seat, and I love how James layed down next to her on his arm like, “What’s up babe? Is there a problem?” Classic. Des basically tells him what she’s heard from the other guys regarding his conversation with Mikey and says “I believe everything. They are guys I fully fully trust.” Well, that pretty much sealed James’ fate at that point, regardless of if he made it to the rose ceremony or not. If she’s already said how much she trusts the other guys, and it’s essentially 7-on-1, he wasn’t winning that battle. But hell if he didn’t try. James goes on to tell her that Mikey said, not him. Uhhh, he just basically agreed with it. Then claimed he had a headache before breaking down in tears. Smart move. When all else fails, always go to the “Babe, this is giving me a headache card” and whip up a few tears. That’ll always put her back on your side. You can pretty much see that James’ reaction to all this is because he doesn’t think what he did was a big deal. But 7 other guys do. Well, 6. Juan Pablo was nowhere to be found during any of these arguments and never chimed in once. I think he was probably out watching the soccer games with Chris Harrison. Very bizarre that in most of the group arguments, he’s never around. Kinda like how Clark Kent is never around when Superman is. Don’t even get me started on “Man of Steel.” Ugh. Way to not stick to 75 years of mythology. Embarrassing.
-So James leaves the room with Desiree, and she still needs time to think things through. He’s in the van on the way back to the hotel still defending himself in his ITM, while we’re getting cut-in shots of the guys back in the hotel convinced that Des let James go and they’d be shocked to see him return. Which of course means he’s returning. He arrives at the hotel, the guys look stunned and he says, “Gentleman…goodnight.” Even though we’re weeks away, it’s pretty obvious what your “Men Tell All” drama will focus on. Two things actually. Ben vs Michael, and the guys vs James (minus Mikey, who is James’ partner in crime). And you know what? Nothing is going to get resolved. You think James is gonna change his tune? Of course not, because he’s convinced that talking about what would happen to him in real life if he didn’t get picked (which is perfectly normal to think, yet not necessarily verbalize to the rest of the guys) is not that big of a deal, whereas the rest of the guys do. Kasey, Michael, and Drew (if he’s even at the “Men Tell All”) will all attack him with the same argument they presented last night of, “If your focus is on Des, you’re not thinking about that stuff,” James will say, “I’m being realistic,” it’ll go nowhere other than guys raising their voices, and that’ll be that. Bam! There’s your “Men Tell All.” Hope you enjoy it.