Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 9 - Desiree

Bachelorette Desiree Recap Including your “Men Tell All” Spoilers

-Usually when the hometown date episode show opens we get the shot of the lead packing and getting ready to head off all while talking about all four remaining people left. Nope, not this season. Immediately the show starts with Desiree arriving in Dallas to meet Zak. Don’t know if you were paying attention to any of this stuff, but Zak is the only guy she initially met last night that she didn’t kiss a lot. Nor did he pick her up in his arms. So even if you weren’t aware of the spoiler, the lack of affection for him when they first see each other didn’t even compare to her being lifted and sharing numerous kisses with Chris, Drew, and Brooks. Zak is once again sketching pictures for Desiree, since when they had their 1-on-1, they had to sketch a naked dude. I guess Zak feels he needs to make up for that by sketching more and more pictures for Des about their journey. I’m shocked this guy hasn’t sketched himself naked and given it to Des yet since that’s probably best how she’ll remember him. Or better yet, how about sketching a man barely clothed, with bring orange skin, and bleached chompers. Maybe that’s a more accurate description of how she’ll remember him.

-Zak tells Desiree he had a dream about her last night. Ooooh, this could get good. I have dreams like that about women that usually have me pitching a tent under my sheets. Dammit, it’s not that sort of dream. No, it’s one where they were on a beach, they were getting hot, their bodies started melting into the sand, then it started snowing and a bunch of kids started running up to them out of nowhere. Really? We’re supposed to believe he had that dream the night before he had his hometown date with her, where the date basically is describing what happened in the dream in a round about way? I’m wondering how much Kona Ice paid to get 10 minutes of air time on a national television show watched by millions of people, because that was no doubt a plug for his family’s business. I’ve lived in Dallas coming up on 7 years (holy sh**, I can’t believe I just said that. 7 freakin’ years I’ve been here), and frankly, I’ve never seen a Kona Ice truck anywhere near me. I guess I’m not privileged to get that type of service in my area. Hell, I live in a gated apartment complex and at least once a week they let the ice cream truck in here. Dammit, where’s my Kona Ice?

-So Zak takes Des on the snow cone truck to Treetops elementary school and they are going to give it out snow cones to kids. Remember back in the day when you had to bring home that slip from school when a field trip was coming up? I wonder if these kids had any idea that they’d be getting free snow cones that day when they showed up for school? Did they have to tell mommy and daddy to sign a release form that would allow them to a get a giant sugar high on a school day? I’m sure ice cream is available at schools every day now, but when I was in middle school, ice cream days were Tuesday and Thursday, and those were the greatest days ever. The world record speed I used to run from the lunch tables to the ice cream shack just to get my 50/50 bar would’ve set children’s records if anyone ever timed me. Granted, I probably would’ve been at a brisk walk if it was only snow cones that they were serving, but still. Ice cream at school was such a novel concept back then. No idea what it’s like nowadays. Hell, with all the health craze going on at schools now maybe they don’t even have it and instead are having fiber bars and nutella sandwich days. Ummmm, yuck. Take your Nutella and shove it. I’ll have Peter Pan, Jiffy, or Skippy peanut butter every day of the week and twice on Sundays.

-After a day of handing out snow cones and having Zak dress up in a penguin costume, it’s time to get serious and meet the family. Well, as serious as you can get with the Waddell family which is to say not at all. Des: “Their energy was amazing…Zak’s family is just a lot of fun…bunch of characters.” Translation: They are much to goofy for my taste, but hell, I’ll play along with it for the day since I know he’s going home next. Des informs the family of how Zak showed up shirtless on the first night, and although they don’t seem the least bit surprised he did it, they do chide him for it. Zak also tells them how he’s been naked three times already. He has? I don’t know where this is coming from. Zak’s sister Carly pulls Des aside to talk to her to ask how she feels about him. Des: “Our foundation was friendship.” Carly: “Has he broken through the friend zone.” Des: “Uhhhh, yeah not so much.” Well, she didn’t say that but she might as well have. She said Zak had broken through the friend zone just to save a little face in front of the family. Speaking of faces, anyone check out the fake eyebrows Carly was rocking? Yikes. She painted those things on in the shape of a rainbow. They raised so high I thought they were going to connect to the front of her scalp. Attractive girl, but easy on the eyebrows.

-When Des sums up her feelings about Zak to Carly, this is what comes out of her mouth: “I want the best for Zak so I mean, I’m following my heart completely.” Translation: And my heart says I don’t want to be selling snow cones on 105 degree days in Texas while Zak prances around in a penguin suit, so, your brother will be back here shortly after I get rid of him in LA. It’s definitely a difficult position to be in if you’re the lead on the hometown dates, because lets face it, you probably know which one of the four is going home, yet you’re stuck having to put on a good face for the family. Sure, some families might be goofier than others, but I honestly don’t think anyone had someone in mind as their final choice, then met the family and said, “Nope, they’re going home next.” Highly doubtful. At least in the other episodes, when you pretty much know who you aren’t keeping around, there’s less you could be leading them on with. But it’s not like she’s gonna act like a bitch to Zak’s family, or be totally aloof, because then it would be obvious. I mean, we pretty much know EVERY family says after the hometown “Oh, what a great guy/girl that is. I can totally see you with them,” but you wonder how many of them really mean it? Do we really think Zak’s family was that impressed by Desiree?

-Then again, maybe Des wasn’t too impressed with Zak’s family. I mean, at first they throw the snow cone business at her, and now they’re trying to come off as the Partridge Family singing her a song that Zak wrote about her. I don’t care what Des’ reaction was, she was totally uncomfortable sitting there listening to that. I don’t know why she cried but it couldn’t possibly have been because she was touched, could it? That was a bit creepy. Are the Waddell’s gonna go on tour now with that? Carly and her rainbow eyebrows, and Denton’s bad John Mayer impersonation with his breathy singing. It was just awkward all around. Then to top off the whole day, Zak gives Des a ring that he bought her in Atlantic City. This was never shown on the show, but it was released on the ABC site the day after that episode aired as a “deleted scene.” Here it was:

I have no idea how that worked but I can’t imagine in a million years Zak just walked into a ring store and purchased a ring for Des with his own money. Must’ve been a cubic zirconia. Hey, that store clerk wanted to know how it worked out. I wonder if Zak has informed her, “Yeah, that cheap ring I bought at your store? Giant fail. Thanks for nothing. Can I get a refund?”

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33 Comments

33 Comments

  1. quesara

    July 16, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    I think Desiree wants Brooks because of chase! Once she has caught him, I have a feeling things will change real quick. I think she will end up sorry that she could have had Drew or Chris worshipping the ground she walks on. I do not see Brooks being that kind of guy.

  2. crushonspivey

    July 16, 2013 at 10:38 AM

    Steve’s recap and conjecture raises a couple of interesting questions. Why would they do it differently next epi with the final 3, and leave a cliffhanger, unless perhaps they are gaming it. Why have Harrison ask Des about loving Brooks two episodes in a row, then never even bring up Drew, when it is clear they have chemistry?

    The edit has been weird this year that way, and if TPTB tried to game it, and throw everyone off, I would not be shocked at all. They certainly want us to think that Brooks and Chris are the final two, based upon Harrison’s interviews with Des last night, that is certain.

    Just saying, if she ended up with Drew, it would be crazy awesome because they finally found a way to rig the spoilers. Been waiting for that to happen.

  3. shouldbeworking

    July 16, 2013 at 10:46 AM

    I wonder if the cameraman picked up the ring Zak threw out of the limo window.

  4. so2013

    July 16, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    Not sure why you’d have a hard time believing something is up with Brooks. He sounded ambivalent this week about the whole thing. He said a few times he was still trying to figure out how he feels and where the relationship is, and all his questions to his family also reflected his uncertainty. I can see him bailing and then realizing he made a mistake (or rather, producers encouraging him to return) and returning for the finale. In fact, I’m 99% sure that’s what happens. He isn’t even shown enjoying a fantasy date with Desiree. He’s just shown talking to her about his feelings. He was also shown wearing casual clothes in a black car in a preview weeks ago. I knew then that Desiree wasn’t freaking out over Drew leaving. I knew it would be Brooks who would leave. That’s probably why they have no trouble showing how into Brooks Desiree is. Because the drama doesn’t come from her feelings. It’s going to come from him somehow.

    Every year I want these guys to be great, sincere guys but I know deep down that none of them are really interested in the lead or settling down. It makes me more and more cynical and the lack of Bachelor Pad, with its lack of pretense, is making it worse. More BP please!

  5. rob22

    July 16, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    None of the remaining guys are remotely interesting. At least Zak has a personality, and now he’s gone. I thought the Zak date was a hoot. The first interesting thing this season since…. well, the only interesting thing this season. The other hometowns were so boring I couldn’t stand it. I think Drew said something like “I’ve never brought home anyone before”…. which is a little strange for anyone over the age 18 to never have had a girlfriend over to the house….. so, I interpreted Drew’s comment to mean “I’ve never brought home a female before”. That made more sense to me in light of his rather obvious orientation.

  6. rob22

    July 16, 2013 at 11:53 AM

    I know RS has commented on Brooks’ teeth before. It’s really strange how he covers his teeth with his lips, which have to oddly contort to apparently cover up some severe gum disease or missing chicklets. Either that, or he has some heavy smoker stains. I keep thinking that, wow, his breath must be horrible…. and what makes it worse is when he’s adjusting his lips to cover his teeth and attempts to create sound, some gutteral mumbles seep out of his pie hole. It’s really weird. I think Brooks should put on a puffy shirt and hook up with that close talker chick. The two of them would be quite the match.

  7. realityisthebestfantasyofall

    July 16, 2013 at 12:13 PM

    I think Brooks ends up leaving (hence the previews of him crying from a few weeks ago in the same outfit that we see him in for the upcoming previews where he’s hugging her and they are trying to make it look like he’s professing his love for her, finally). I think he leaves, she’s heartbroken, wants to go home, and then he comes back…maybe. I don’t see her wanting anyone else besides him, so if she’s left with Chris and Drew, I think she’ll likely bow out. I think Chris is great – just doesn’t excite her like Brooks does. And Drew is far too young acting…he seems like a teenager who has fallen in love for the first time.

    So unless Brooks decides to return, I see her heartbroken and the fairytale over. But I doubt that happens. Who knows.

  8. Athena

    July 16, 2013 at 1:46 PM

    The whole schictk with her professing her love and Brooks being hesitant reeks of producer manipulation. How easy would it be to get any of the leads to let on who they have the strongest feelings for – I bet they do it every season but just don’t show it to us. And, what contestant in their right mind couldn’t also be coaxed into saying “falling in love after 20 minutes – no way!” Again, I’m sure there are plenty of conversations like that that are recorded but never shown to us since they’d destroy the fairytale. I keep remembering Julie in and ITM of Burning Love making the comment after a couple of her guys told her they loved her “Good – that’s what I’m supposed to get them to say.” So true.

  9. sciteacher13

    July 16, 2013 at 2:41 PM

    So people like leaving trash on social media about Nate. I don’t care one bit about the show, but family is family and no matter what you think, don’t treat people like trash. Des does not agree with her brother, but in the end he is blood and we all need to have respect. I just got kicked off ABC boards for the show for saying the same thing. People where saying things like Des’s family should have given up on him years ago and he is a piece od S**T. We are all having fun with these messages when we have time too, but what has happened to us that we treat someone so bad. I don’t agree with Brooks nor do I think he is being honest but I don’t say hateful and mean things about him or his family. THIS IS NOT RIGHT when it comes to Des’s brother, she should have never allowed him on the show if she didn’t want his opinion. There is a point where social media is fun, but there is a point where comments can go beyond that point and become down right disrespectful and unmoral. Family is blood and no matter who they are, blood is stronger than anything.

  10. linnyleo

    July 16, 2013 at 3:13 PM

    So a few thoughts. The whole time during Drew’s date they kept saying things like Drew has never brought a woman home before, or this is his first time, etc. And all I could think was well yeah, he’s only ever brought a dude home before. At one point his mother said something about how she’s so happy for him to have found a woman (something along those lines) and all I could do was chuckle. 🙂

    Also, Des’s dress last night was terrible. It looked like a blingy bodybuilder outfit.

    I really have no idea what is going to happen with the 2 part finale, but it better be good. This whole twist of saying who she is in love with this early is really “ruining” the show. It’s just not fun to watch and I think it’s terrible.

  11. addicted2rs

    July 16, 2013 at 5:18 PM

    It is refreshing that the show is allowing the audience to see an honest dialogue between the lead and Chris Harrison where instead of hearing the standard “I don’t know what I’m going to do, they are all so great” we see Des say who her front runner is and that she has fallen for her. I bet other leads have done something similar like Ali for Roberto, but producers never let us see it until this season. It would make sense if the reason we get to see it this way is Brooks leaves or tries to leave. It adds drama that they couldn’t get if we didn’t know how much Des is into him.

    I wonder if Chris the F2 is adopted. His siblings look downright jacked up.

    I wonder how much ABC paid Des’ brother to come back on the show.

  12. penguinfan01

    July 16, 2013 at 5:30 PM

    I am a firm believer that when this show leads you in one direction, the outcome is totally different. They want shock value. I am thinking that since they are being so obvious about Brooks, that it will be Chris. Have to wait and see.

  13. ashella

    July 16, 2013 at 5:56 PM

    @so2013 I think you’re completely on the right track. They’ve made it so obvious Des wants Brooks, let us believe that Brooks is confused about her… it seems obvious from the previews that Brooks is going to choose to leave. Why else would she be saying she just wants to go home? Also, at the beginning of the season there was a preview of her saying “you’re the only thing that has kept me here for so long” or something to that effect (they made it look like she was saying it to Drew). I’m pretty much convinced that’s why they’re doing the finale like that; the cliff hanger will be that Brooks leaves, and then he’s gonna come back in the second part and they’ll get engaged.

  14. jsocial12

    July 16, 2013 at 8:21 PM

    I think the reason they are airing the men tell all before the overnight date episode is because all 3 guys are going to be a part of the finale…it reminds me of Jillian’s season of the Bachelorette where Reid wasn’t at the Men Tell All because of some “prior commitment” when he actually returned in the finale to propose to Jillian.

    I think Brooks leaves; the shots of her sobbing while looking over the water is the same top she is wearing when we see her greet Brooks.

    The shots are her crying with Drew are probably just her telling Drew that Brooks left and him trying to console her.

    She talks with Chris before the non-rose ceremony and cries again when Chris asks her how things are going and she says she wants to go home.

    She gets choked up at the non-rose ceremony but ultimately decides to move forward with Drew and Chris.

    Brooks either comes back in the finale and proposes and she accepts…or she picks Drew. Sorry Chris….

  15. bigfatwoman2

    July 16, 2013 at 8:36 PM

    I don’t know what the twist is with Brooks — but if they do end up engaged its going to be over in a hot minute. Brooks isn’t my type, but he is many girls’ type and I think he could do better than Des. I see him with someone much more dynamic.

    Zak really grew on me. Aside from the fake tan, bad hair and overly whitened teeth — I thought he had a great personality and was a lot of fun.

    I don’t think I could stomach Drew. His father’s whole “do you know a living angel” question was a bit much. How about, we think of her as our angel. I thought his setup was way too affected.

    There’s no way that ring wasn’t picked up by producers. So staged.

  16. manicfan

    July 16, 2013 at 8:44 PM

    Am I correct in thinking that we have not seen any previews of a final rose ceremony involving the final two guys? It seems to me that most seasons show previews of ring shopping and the final two from behind all throughout the season. I don’t recall having seen any glimpses of a Neil Lane ring yet or that typical last night rose ceremony in a romantic, tropical setting with everyone decked out in their fancy formal ware. Hmmmm . . .

  17. emdog

    July 16, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    @so2013 – You’re so right! When I first read your comment, I thought there’s no way. Then I went back and watched the previews they’ve shown throughout the season and I think you hit the nail on the head. So many clues I simply overlooked. Brooks is definitely bailing in the next episode (hopefully he’ll be back in the finale). If you were able to figure this out, what is Reality Steve doing? Come on Steve. Speculate or something!

  18. elizabeth82

    July 16, 2013 at 10:30 PM

    This season is a snoozefest. And Des was my fav during Sean’s season. Des needs to read He’s Just Not That Into You and realize that’s what her relationship with Brooks looks like. I think that subconsciously she likes his playing hard to get. No way do I see them lasting. If they’re gonna pick someone from this season for next Bach, I hope it’s Zak.

  19. Kali

    July 16, 2013 at 10:33 PM

    Nobody’s mentioned this thing with Brooks leaving and then returning has been played before: during Jillian’s season with Ed Swiderski. He was her choice, he bailed and then returned, and she picked him. Same thing here. Brooks is Desiree’s choice, he bails, she cries, he comes back, she picks him. Sound familiar?

  20. elizabeth82

    July 16, 2013 at 11:28 PM

    @Kali, good point. It’s just that with Ed, he left a lot earlier in the season. ABC is banking on this Brooks thing to bring some serious drama. Meh!

  21. oyoung1117

    July 17, 2013 at 6:58 AM

    The letter on Sean’s season really jaded me when hoping for serious drama on the show based on promos. So here is what I think likely goes down…Des goes on wonderful dates with all of the guys and then right when she starts prepping for the rose ceremony Brooks comes and visits her and tells her he isn’t sure of he is ready to propose. She freaks out. He rides back to his hotel in a limo. And the episode ends. The next episode begins with him “having thought about it” and realizing he is ready. And the rest of the season finishes off as usual. So basically a lot of nothing.
    But maybe, just maybe it is a big thing and Brooks leaves and Des sends the other two packing and later her and Brooks reconnect.
    We’ll see.

  22. bfan1

    July 17, 2013 at 7:06 AM

    I am beginning to think we are all being fleissed – I am now thinking Drew is the F1 and RS source is just messing with him. He already had to make one correction that had Drew leaving on F4 now we have seen footage of Drew on LCD and FD and nothing of Brooks except him leaving. Plus Drew has moved to LA and there has been no rumors of any Brooks and Des secret meetings. Fleiss meanwhile is cackling about the ending coming out of left field – what better way than to play with the viewers by having Des so overtly declare her F1 as Brooks and have her pick Drew. Plus the part where she says she wants a proposal at the end – from Brooks- seems to be dubbed in. I really think Drew is F!

  23. Sunnyside422

    July 17, 2013 at 7:22 AM

    Interesting observations from you all. Personally, I just don’t care how the show ends. Ya know the engagement will not last…that we can bank on! Who could put up with mumble mouth and his mop of hair on a long term basis. Ugh. Brooks is just soo unattractive.

  24. loveispossible

    July 17, 2013 at 8:28 AM

    How much more boring could this show have been if Des is into Brooks and it was obvious that Brooks is into her?! So maybe the producers set it up with Brooks to play it down and that they were the ones to instruct him to leave knowing they would have him return again to create some drama. They had to do something to try to create interest! They try to make us believe so many other things so why not Brook’s exit?

    And as for the ring that Zak bought, it looked like he was in a Pawn shop or corner junk store, not a regular jewelry store. They even made sure they had a HUGE shot of a Cracker Jack Box on the counter to let you know the quality of the store. However, the tray she pulled out with rings did look like an assortment of antique rings. The one he picked could have had a small diamond in it but of very low quality. Then in the limo how do we know whether the producers gave Zak something else to throw out the window just for the drama?! That would have been a LOT easier than to try to find a ring thrown out of a moving car, if it was even worth retrieving.

  25. Sunnyside422

    July 17, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    Peeps: ya gotta read Jen Frase’s blog today! Still laughing as she describes Chris’ date! Steve…you have some serious competition in the snarky department!

  26. shouldbeworking

    July 17, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    Sunnyside422 – I agree…now if Jen Frase only had the spoilers to go along with her hilariously sarcastic column…she’d be the total package !!

  27. liz123

    July 17, 2013 at 11:36 AM

    I LOVE Jen Frase’s blog!! I never miss it. She’s a million times funnier than Steve (sorry, Steve), but hey he’s got the spoilers & she doesn’t, right, so they’re even.

    It’s got to be tough for Drew & Chris to see what she’s saying about Brooks knowing they were still there being played. It sucks that the producers would make her keep them even though she knows that all she wants to do is continue for a few more weeks to spend more time with Brooks. Wouldn’t it be fascinating if they actually let her send everyone else home & just date Brooks for 3 more weeks? No, it wouldn’t be fascinating, actually. It’d be boring as hell & that’s why this show doesn’t work. Love isn’t always exciting, but they have to try to make it exciting so they lie & manipulate. Why do I keep watching this trash again?

  28. liz123

    July 17, 2013 at 11:37 AM

    @shouldbeworking- hahahaha!! We were thinking the same thing about Jen Frase vs. Reality Steve!

  29. justforfun

    July 17, 2013 at 1:51 PM

    I read on another blog where a “friend” of Drew’s said that Drew was not into Des. Makes sense, she’s a woman!
    I am willing to bet that Brooks goes home then has a change of heart and comes back just in time to propose. It’s been a while since they have done the leave and come back drama.

  30. vessel

    July 17, 2013 at 5:13 PM

    I have to agree with all the love for Jen Frase. Funniest blog I’ve ever read, but still love RS, too.

  31. rob22

    July 18, 2013 at 5:33 AM

    Read the Jen Frase blog. It’s good. Since RS only posts twice a week, at most, and Jen posts once a week there’s definitely room for both.

  32. kjopo84

    July 20, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    Agree on the Jen Frase comments! Didn’t discover her blog until this season and I almost wet myself weekly laughing! I love how she rates the men based on who she wants on top of her lol.

    I think the reason Steve doesn’t do much speculating is because he doesn’t want to be wrong and only wants to give confirmed information. Or info as confirmed as it can be. That being said, I think everyone here may be spot on about Brooks. When she’s talking to Drew and he says “it’s just never gonna work”, he could’ve very well been talking about Brooks. Like “if he doesn’t feel the same for you, it’s just never gonna work” or something along those lines. When the promo from a few weeks ago showed all the guys in limos, it’s possible the shots of Drew and Chris were them on their way to propose to Des.

  33. kscott

    July 23, 2013 at 9:37 PM

    I pretty much think the same as you, Steve. This show is for pure entertainment and I enjoy making fun of it, just as you do. I have a question for you … How pathetic is that Stephanie chick (Brian’s girlfriend)? I mean, here she storms on national tv calling him out for being the idiot that he is. Brian clearly went on to the show when he was so-called dating her. If it’s true and they are back together, she’d literally have to be super stupid. I mean, why would she take him back after that? Wow!!

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