Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 9 - Desiree

Bachelorette Desiree Recap Including your “Men Tell All” Spoilers

-We now head to McMinnville, OR for Chris’ hometown date. Because Chris likes thinking ahead, as he’s walking along, he decides to pick a flower out of the ground for Desiree. Awwww, how sweet. It’s always nice when someone puts a lot of thought into the gift of flowers. I wonder how soon after picking the flower did Desiree show up? I hope out of the corner of her eye she saw him picking it so she realizes how little thought he put into that kind gesture. When they finally meet, he lifts her up just as high as Drew did, they kiss just as long as she did with Drew, and with more passion. These greetings are becoming more and more intimate and only Brooks is left, you know, the one she’s actually already in love with. Should be a doozy. So what activity will they do before they meet his family? I know! Lets steal an idea from Ali’s season and play baseball! Chris used to play baseball, so it’s only fitting. Either that, or Chris saw it worked out so well for Roberto he figured he should do it too. Bad idea. Your baseball career is over Chris. I mean, how can you forget that you went 14-20 with a 4.64 ERA over 5 minor league seasons never rising above A-ball? I think even Roberto is chuckling at those stats.

-I guess they figured they needed to do something cute since they were in baseball uniforms so they wrote on each others eye black. Chris wrote “I love Chris” under Desiree’s eyes, and she wrote “Love Des” under his eyes. For this date, I actually put some eye black on as well because I wanted to feel like I was part of it. You know what I wrote under mine? “Booooorrrr-ing.” Hey guess what? More sketching! I don’t remember a season in recent memory that had so many bad sketch drawings on it. If this is their idea of changing things up, they need to go back to the drawing board. Ha ha, get it? Drawing board. Sketching. I kill myself sometimes. Then Desiree asks Chris when was the last time he brought a girl home to meet his family and Chris says a year and a half ago. Chris met a girl when he was playing baseball in AZ and she moved to Portland to live with him. They broke up in Nov/Dec of 2012 and she has since moved back to AZ. Shortly thereafter is when he was approached to be on the show. So, 3-4 months before he left for filming, he had broken up with his live-in girlfriend, so I’m not sure why he’s saying a year and a half ago. Maybe he’s talking about when she first arrived in Portland, since that was a year earlier? Not sure. Semantics at this point. I’m assuming she’s the one the family was talking about that they didn’t like. For the record, yet another ex of a contestant on this show that’s better looking than Des.

-Des and Chris arrive at his house to meet the family. Cool place. Although I could’ve done without the potted plants on the steps leading up to the house. Move those things dammit. Someone is gonna trip and break their neck. Do I sound like your father now? Chris’ dad George is a chiropractor and has an office downstairs in the house. I’m not sure why he felt the need to give Des a back cracking (well, other than probably because the producers told him it’d be funny), but he did. Des feels a little uncomfortable getting felt up by Chris’ dad just minutes after meeting him, but hey, can you blame her? I mean, there are plenty of women out there who’ve been to a male chiropractor, so it’s not that. It’s the fact that this is being done minutes after meeting the guy and on national television. Was it necessary? Of course not. Then again, the promo last week showed him tucking in the back of her shirt when she was on her stomach since it started sliding up, yet they didn’t show that part last night. At least that would’ve remotely interesting and incredibly uncomfortable all at the same time. We all would’ve been interested to see what color thong Des wears, right? Right? Ok, maybe that’s just me. You know, if Frank the Tank can wonder about what color underwear his waitress at Olive Garden is wearing, certainly I can ponder Des’ color of choice. Cut me some slack.

-So while Des is getting cracked by the chiropractor, Chris starts heading downstairs to see them just to make sure dad isn’t completely embarrassing him. Don’t worry, Chris. He is. I love how they all call it “getting and adjustment.” It’s back cracking. I went to a chiropractor for two years straight 3 days a week when I was having back issues a few years ago from playing too much golf, and they did the same exact thing every time. They cracked my back. However, one thing they NEVER did was give me a nose adjustment. What the hell was that? Did we really need to see Papa Siegfried shoving a balloon up his son’s nose for an “adjustment?” I’m sure viewers are fine knowing about Chris’ baseball skills, some may even like his poetry, and others might be interested in his modeling career. However, I highly doubt any of them were particularly interested in getting a view of his brain through his nostril cavity. Totally unnecessary. Was he pumping up a bike tire of fixing his son’s nose? I don’t even remember what they were talking about because I was so mesmerized by what I was seeing on screen. I think they were talking about how Chris is ready to settle down and get married, but I’m not sure. It’s been three years since I’ve been to the chiropractor, but next time I go, I’m gonna ask what the hell that nose adjustment is all about.

-Chris sits down with his sister who says that they didn’t really care for his last ex, but never really gave a reason. Maybe they did, but it certainly wasn’t shown. Maybe the ex didn’t like baseball. Or poems. Guess we’ll never know, but I’d say the timing worked out perfect for Chris. He breaks up with his girlfriend that he lived with, and then shortly thereafter, he’s approached about being on the show. Yeah, totally someone who’s immediately ready to get engaged. Translation: Rebound. Not only did the sister not like the ex, but neither did the grandma apparently. And when the grandma doesn’t like the ex, you’ve got problems. Probably a good idea that he broomed her because granny didn’t approve. Actually, I don’t know who broke up with who, just that it happened shortly after the holidays in late 2012. Another thing that was running through my mind while Chris was talking to all his family members: Is he adopted or something? He looks nothing like anyone in his family. The sister looked like the mother, but I don’t see Chris looking like any of them. Or maybe I didn’t look hard enough.

-He goes outside to talk to his mother and tells her about how great Des is and that he thinks she’s the one. Mother #2 that comes to tears this episode. And why shouldn’t she? I mean, she’s known Desiree a whole few hours but she already knows this is the girl for her son. Makes perfect sense. The mom even tells the story over dinner that Chris texted his mom from the airport before he left saying he just found out it was Des and he was so happy. Gee Chris, maybe if you would’ve read RealitySteve.com you would’ve known a week before ABC announced it that Des was shooting her intro videos roller skating around the Santa Monica Pier. It’s not like they were really good at keeping that secret you know? Most guys left on March 11th to leave to film Des’ season, which was the night of Sean’s finale. Desiree was shooting her intro videos the week before. I think the Siegfried family should pay more attention to my site and less attention to nasal adjustments. Chris says goodbye to Des and is convinced she’s the one for him. “There’s no way these feelings are being expressed with anyone else. Feels too real and too right.” Well, what do you think now that you’ve seen the last two episodes, Chris? The woman who you claim has feelings with you that aren’t being expressed with anyone else, has now said on back-to-back episodes for all the viewing audience to see that she’s in love with Brooks. Punch to the gut, I’d say.

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33 Comments

33 Comments

  1. quesara

    July 16, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    I think Desiree wants Brooks because of chase! Once she has caught him, I have a feeling things will change real quick. I think she will end up sorry that she could have had Drew or Chris worshipping the ground she walks on. I do not see Brooks being that kind of guy.

  2. crushonspivey

    July 16, 2013 at 10:38 AM

    Steve’s recap and conjecture raises a couple of interesting questions. Why would they do it differently next epi with the final 3, and leave a cliffhanger, unless perhaps they are gaming it. Why have Harrison ask Des about loving Brooks two episodes in a row, then never even bring up Drew, when it is clear they have chemistry?

    The edit has been weird this year that way, and if TPTB tried to game it, and throw everyone off, I would not be shocked at all. They certainly want us to think that Brooks and Chris are the final two, based upon Harrison’s interviews with Des last night, that is certain.

    Just saying, if she ended up with Drew, it would be crazy awesome because they finally found a way to rig the spoilers. Been waiting for that to happen.

  3. shouldbeworking

    July 16, 2013 at 10:46 AM

    I wonder if the cameraman picked up the ring Zak threw out of the limo window.

  4. so2013

    July 16, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    Not sure why you’d have a hard time believing something is up with Brooks. He sounded ambivalent this week about the whole thing. He said a few times he was still trying to figure out how he feels and where the relationship is, and all his questions to his family also reflected his uncertainty. I can see him bailing and then realizing he made a mistake (or rather, producers encouraging him to return) and returning for the finale. In fact, I’m 99% sure that’s what happens. He isn’t even shown enjoying a fantasy date with Desiree. He’s just shown talking to her about his feelings. He was also shown wearing casual clothes in a black car in a preview weeks ago. I knew then that Desiree wasn’t freaking out over Drew leaving. I knew it would be Brooks who would leave. That’s probably why they have no trouble showing how into Brooks Desiree is. Because the drama doesn’t come from her feelings. It’s going to come from him somehow.

    Every year I want these guys to be great, sincere guys but I know deep down that none of them are really interested in the lead or settling down. It makes me more and more cynical and the lack of Bachelor Pad, with its lack of pretense, is making it worse. More BP please!

  5. rob22

    July 16, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    None of the remaining guys are remotely interesting. At least Zak has a personality, and now he’s gone. I thought the Zak date was a hoot. The first interesting thing this season since…. well, the only interesting thing this season. The other hometowns were so boring I couldn’t stand it. I think Drew said something like “I’ve never brought home anyone before”…. which is a little strange for anyone over the age 18 to never have had a girlfriend over to the house….. so, I interpreted Drew’s comment to mean “I’ve never brought home a female before”. That made more sense to me in light of his rather obvious orientation.

  6. rob22

    July 16, 2013 at 11:53 AM

    I know RS has commented on Brooks’ teeth before. It’s really strange how he covers his teeth with his lips, which have to oddly contort to apparently cover up some severe gum disease or missing chicklets. Either that, or he has some heavy smoker stains. I keep thinking that, wow, his breath must be horrible…. and what makes it worse is when he’s adjusting his lips to cover his teeth and attempts to create sound, some gutteral mumbles seep out of his pie hole. It’s really weird. I think Brooks should put on a puffy shirt and hook up with that close talker chick. The two of them would be quite the match.

  7. realityisthebestfantasyofall

    July 16, 2013 at 12:13 PM

    I think Brooks ends up leaving (hence the previews of him crying from a few weeks ago in the same outfit that we see him in for the upcoming previews where he’s hugging her and they are trying to make it look like he’s professing his love for her, finally). I think he leaves, she’s heartbroken, wants to go home, and then he comes back…maybe. I don’t see her wanting anyone else besides him, so if she’s left with Chris and Drew, I think she’ll likely bow out. I think Chris is great – just doesn’t excite her like Brooks does. And Drew is far too young acting…he seems like a teenager who has fallen in love for the first time.

    So unless Brooks decides to return, I see her heartbroken and the fairytale over. But I doubt that happens. Who knows.

  8. Athena

    July 16, 2013 at 1:46 PM

    The whole schictk with her professing her love and Brooks being hesitant reeks of producer manipulation. How easy would it be to get any of the leads to let on who they have the strongest feelings for – I bet they do it every season but just don’t show it to us. And, what contestant in their right mind couldn’t also be coaxed into saying “falling in love after 20 minutes – no way!” Again, I’m sure there are plenty of conversations like that that are recorded but never shown to us since they’d destroy the fairytale. I keep remembering Julie in and ITM of Burning Love making the comment after a couple of her guys told her they loved her “Good – that’s what I’m supposed to get them to say.” So true.

  9. sciteacher13

    July 16, 2013 at 2:41 PM

    So people like leaving trash on social media about Nate. I don’t care one bit about the show, but family is family and no matter what you think, don’t treat people like trash. Des does not agree with her brother, but in the end he is blood and we all need to have respect. I just got kicked off ABC boards for the show for saying the same thing. People where saying things like Des’s family should have given up on him years ago and he is a piece od S**T. We are all having fun with these messages when we have time too, but what has happened to us that we treat someone so bad. I don’t agree with Brooks nor do I think he is being honest but I don’t say hateful and mean things about him or his family. THIS IS NOT RIGHT when it comes to Des’s brother, she should have never allowed him on the show if she didn’t want his opinion. There is a point where social media is fun, but there is a point where comments can go beyond that point and become down right disrespectful and unmoral. Family is blood and no matter who they are, blood is stronger than anything.

  10. linnyleo

    July 16, 2013 at 3:13 PM

    So a few thoughts. The whole time during Drew’s date they kept saying things like Drew has never brought a woman home before, or this is his first time, etc. And all I could think was well yeah, he’s only ever brought a dude home before. At one point his mother said something about how she’s so happy for him to have found a woman (something along those lines) and all I could do was chuckle. 🙂

    Also, Des’s dress last night was terrible. It looked like a blingy bodybuilder outfit.

    I really have no idea what is going to happen with the 2 part finale, but it better be good. This whole twist of saying who she is in love with this early is really “ruining” the show. It’s just not fun to watch and I think it’s terrible.

  11. addicted2rs

    July 16, 2013 at 5:18 PM

    It is refreshing that the show is allowing the audience to see an honest dialogue between the lead and Chris Harrison where instead of hearing the standard “I don’t know what I’m going to do, they are all so great” we see Des say who her front runner is and that she has fallen for her. I bet other leads have done something similar like Ali for Roberto, but producers never let us see it until this season. It would make sense if the reason we get to see it this way is Brooks leaves or tries to leave. It adds drama that they couldn’t get if we didn’t know how much Des is into him.

    I wonder if Chris the F2 is adopted. His siblings look downright jacked up.

    I wonder how much ABC paid Des’ brother to come back on the show.

  12. penguinfan01

    July 16, 2013 at 5:30 PM

    I am a firm believer that when this show leads you in one direction, the outcome is totally different. They want shock value. I am thinking that since they are being so obvious about Brooks, that it will be Chris. Have to wait and see.

  13. ashella

    July 16, 2013 at 5:56 PM

    @so2013 I think you’re completely on the right track. They’ve made it so obvious Des wants Brooks, let us believe that Brooks is confused about her… it seems obvious from the previews that Brooks is going to choose to leave. Why else would she be saying she just wants to go home? Also, at the beginning of the season there was a preview of her saying “you’re the only thing that has kept me here for so long” or something to that effect (they made it look like she was saying it to Drew). I’m pretty much convinced that’s why they’re doing the finale like that; the cliff hanger will be that Brooks leaves, and then he’s gonna come back in the second part and they’ll get engaged.

  14. jsocial12

    July 16, 2013 at 8:21 PM

    I think the reason they are airing the men tell all before the overnight date episode is because all 3 guys are going to be a part of the finale…it reminds me of Jillian’s season of the Bachelorette where Reid wasn’t at the Men Tell All because of some “prior commitment” when he actually returned in the finale to propose to Jillian.

    I think Brooks leaves; the shots of her sobbing while looking over the water is the same top she is wearing when we see her greet Brooks.

    The shots are her crying with Drew are probably just her telling Drew that Brooks left and him trying to console her.

    She talks with Chris before the non-rose ceremony and cries again when Chris asks her how things are going and she says she wants to go home.

    She gets choked up at the non-rose ceremony but ultimately decides to move forward with Drew and Chris.

    Brooks either comes back in the finale and proposes and she accepts…or she picks Drew. Sorry Chris….

  15. bigfatwoman2

    July 16, 2013 at 8:36 PM

    I don’t know what the twist is with Brooks — but if they do end up engaged its going to be over in a hot minute. Brooks isn’t my type, but he is many girls’ type and I think he could do better than Des. I see him with someone much more dynamic.

    Zak really grew on me. Aside from the fake tan, bad hair and overly whitened teeth — I thought he had a great personality and was a lot of fun.

    I don’t think I could stomach Drew. His father’s whole “do you know a living angel” question was a bit much. How about, we think of her as our angel. I thought his setup was way too affected.

    There’s no way that ring wasn’t picked up by producers. So staged.

  16. manicfan

    July 16, 2013 at 8:44 PM

    Am I correct in thinking that we have not seen any previews of a final rose ceremony involving the final two guys? It seems to me that most seasons show previews of ring shopping and the final two from behind all throughout the season. I don’t recall having seen any glimpses of a Neil Lane ring yet or that typical last night rose ceremony in a romantic, tropical setting with everyone decked out in their fancy formal ware. Hmmmm . . .

  17. emdog

    July 16, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    @so2013 – You’re so right! When I first read your comment, I thought there’s no way. Then I went back and watched the previews they’ve shown throughout the season and I think you hit the nail on the head. So many clues I simply overlooked. Brooks is definitely bailing in the next episode (hopefully he’ll be back in the finale). If you were able to figure this out, what is Reality Steve doing? Come on Steve. Speculate or something!

  18. elizabeth82

    July 16, 2013 at 10:30 PM

    This season is a snoozefest. And Des was my fav during Sean’s season. Des needs to read He’s Just Not That Into You and realize that’s what her relationship with Brooks looks like. I think that subconsciously she likes his playing hard to get. No way do I see them lasting. If they’re gonna pick someone from this season for next Bach, I hope it’s Zak.

  19. Kali

    July 16, 2013 at 10:33 PM

    Nobody’s mentioned this thing with Brooks leaving and then returning has been played before: during Jillian’s season with Ed Swiderski. He was her choice, he bailed and then returned, and she picked him. Same thing here. Brooks is Desiree’s choice, he bails, she cries, he comes back, she picks him. Sound familiar?

  20. elizabeth82

    July 16, 2013 at 11:28 PM

    @Kali, good point. It’s just that with Ed, he left a lot earlier in the season. ABC is banking on this Brooks thing to bring some serious drama. Meh!

  21. oyoung1117

    July 17, 2013 at 6:58 AM

    The letter on Sean’s season really jaded me when hoping for serious drama on the show based on promos. So here is what I think likely goes down…Des goes on wonderful dates with all of the guys and then right when she starts prepping for the rose ceremony Brooks comes and visits her and tells her he isn’t sure of he is ready to propose. She freaks out. He rides back to his hotel in a limo. And the episode ends. The next episode begins with him “having thought about it” and realizing he is ready. And the rest of the season finishes off as usual. So basically a lot of nothing.
    But maybe, just maybe it is a big thing and Brooks leaves and Des sends the other two packing and later her and Brooks reconnect.
    We’ll see.

  22. bfan1

    July 17, 2013 at 7:06 AM

    I am beginning to think we are all being fleissed – I am now thinking Drew is the F1 and RS source is just messing with him. He already had to make one correction that had Drew leaving on F4 now we have seen footage of Drew on LCD and FD and nothing of Brooks except him leaving. Plus Drew has moved to LA and there has been no rumors of any Brooks and Des secret meetings. Fleiss meanwhile is cackling about the ending coming out of left field – what better way than to play with the viewers by having Des so overtly declare her F1 as Brooks and have her pick Drew. Plus the part where she says she wants a proposal at the end – from Brooks- seems to be dubbed in. I really think Drew is F!

  23. Sunnyside422

    July 17, 2013 at 7:22 AM

    Interesting observations from you all. Personally, I just don’t care how the show ends. Ya know the engagement will not last…that we can bank on! Who could put up with mumble mouth and his mop of hair on a long term basis. Ugh. Brooks is just soo unattractive.

  24. loveispossible

    July 17, 2013 at 8:28 AM

    How much more boring could this show have been if Des is into Brooks and it was obvious that Brooks is into her?! So maybe the producers set it up with Brooks to play it down and that they were the ones to instruct him to leave knowing they would have him return again to create some drama. They had to do something to try to create interest! They try to make us believe so many other things so why not Brook’s exit?

    And as for the ring that Zak bought, it looked like he was in a Pawn shop or corner junk store, not a regular jewelry store. They even made sure they had a HUGE shot of a Cracker Jack Box on the counter to let you know the quality of the store. However, the tray she pulled out with rings did look like an assortment of antique rings. The one he picked could have had a small diamond in it but of very low quality. Then in the limo how do we know whether the producers gave Zak something else to throw out the window just for the drama?! That would have been a LOT easier than to try to find a ring thrown out of a moving car, if it was even worth retrieving.

  25. Sunnyside422

    July 17, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    Peeps: ya gotta read Jen Frase’s blog today! Still laughing as she describes Chris’ date! Steve…you have some serious competition in the snarky department!

  26. shouldbeworking

    July 17, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    Sunnyside422 – I agree…now if Jen Frase only had the spoilers to go along with her hilariously sarcastic column…she’d be the total package !!

  27. liz123

    July 17, 2013 at 11:36 AM

    I LOVE Jen Frase’s blog!! I never miss it. She’s a million times funnier than Steve (sorry, Steve), but hey he’s got the spoilers & she doesn’t, right, so they’re even.

    It’s got to be tough for Drew & Chris to see what she’s saying about Brooks knowing they were still there being played. It sucks that the producers would make her keep them even though she knows that all she wants to do is continue for a few more weeks to spend more time with Brooks. Wouldn’t it be fascinating if they actually let her send everyone else home & just date Brooks for 3 more weeks? No, it wouldn’t be fascinating, actually. It’d be boring as hell & that’s why this show doesn’t work. Love isn’t always exciting, but they have to try to make it exciting so they lie & manipulate. Why do I keep watching this trash again?

  28. liz123

    July 17, 2013 at 11:37 AM

    @shouldbeworking- hahahaha!! We were thinking the same thing about Jen Frase vs. Reality Steve!

  29. justforfun

    July 17, 2013 at 1:51 PM

    I read on another blog where a “friend” of Drew’s said that Drew was not into Des. Makes sense, she’s a woman!
    I am willing to bet that Brooks goes home then has a change of heart and comes back just in time to propose. It’s been a while since they have done the leave and come back drama.

  30. vessel

    July 17, 2013 at 5:13 PM

    I have to agree with all the love for Jen Frase. Funniest blog I’ve ever read, but still love RS, too.

  31. rob22

    July 18, 2013 at 5:33 AM

    Read the Jen Frase blog. It’s good. Since RS only posts twice a week, at most, and Jen posts once a week there’s definitely room for both.

  32. kjopo84

    July 20, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    Agree on the Jen Frase comments! Didn’t discover her blog until this season and I almost wet myself weekly laughing! I love how she rates the men based on who she wants on top of her lol.

    I think the reason Steve doesn’t do much speculating is because he doesn’t want to be wrong and only wants to give confirmed information. Or info as confirmed as it can be. That being said, I think everyone here may be spot on about Brooks. When she’s talking to Drew and he says “it’s just never gonna work”, he could’ve very well been talking about Brooks. Like “if he doesn’t feel the same for you, it’s just never gonna work” or something along those lines. When the promo from a few weeks ago showed all the guys in limos, it’s possible the shots of Drew and Chris were them on their way to propose to Des.

  33. kscott

    July 23, 2013 at 9:37 PM

    I pretty much think the same as you, Steve. This show is for pure entertainment and I enjoy making fun of it, just as you do. I have a question for you … How pathetic is that Stephanie chick (Brian’s girlfriend)? I mean, here she storms on national tv calling him out for being the idiot that he is. Brian clearly went on to the show when he was so-called dating her. If it’s true and they are back together, she’d literally have to be super stupid. I mean, why would she take him back after that? Wow!!

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