Reality Steve

Reader Emails

Over 100 “Reader Emails”…

Not only did Tuesday set the record on my site for highest amount of page views in one day, but as evidenced by what you’re about to read, it also spawned the most emails I’ve ever posted in the “Reader Email” section. The weekly average is usually somewhere between 30-40 a week, and then a couple times we came close or surpassed 50. This week? We blew doors on that. We are over 100 and that’s with me not being able to print a couple just because it was one that had been asked over and over again. And I’d say over half the emails came in from the minute the episode ended on Monday up through last night.

Remember, these emails are basically all emails sent to me from last Wed night/Thurs morning, through this past Wednesday night. So, you’ll see as you read the tone and subject of the emails drastically changes going from beginning to end. Since I pretty much copy and paste them in order that I get them, it starts out with stuff from the MTA and speculation about Monday’s episode, then it’ll transition into the emails that were written during and right after Monday’s show when people were freaking out, then into questions about Monday’s night’s show, then emails sent after they had read Tuesday’s column and people calmed down a bit. But the biggest thing to me this week, was how many people acknowledged the passing of Kidd Kraddick. Either how much he meant to them, or letting me know they appreciated what I wrote. Still unbelievable to me to think that he’s gone so I thank all of you who took the time out to mention him in your emails. Meant a lot. Let’s get to it. I hope you have some free time today. This’ll take a while…

First off, your column has made this boring season so much more fun! I really think you’re spoiler on who Des chooses is correct, but there is some tiny part of me that unrealistically thinks ABC maybe went through this elaborate scheme to throw off the spoilers. It makes watching this season somewhat bearable, the little anticipation I somehow mustard up.

My first question is why you are so sure they won’t cast Juan Pablo as the Bachelor? In your last column you made it clear that there was no way! You must have some specific as to why you think he has zero chance. I just saw tonight on one of the producer’s instagrams a picture of Juan Pablo (in snow gear so prob from where ever they were during the show production, I forget, I was barley paying attention). Seems like they are really trying to promote him.

Second, do you think Ali FdfsbdgkbdbSKY reads your column and plays it dumb?

Again, that’s for the good laughs, especially this season.

Comment: I have nothing specific as to why Juan Pablo won’t be the next Bachelor. He just won’t. Is he being talked to about it? Yes. But so are others.

Ali comes up quite a few times in reader emails this week. Does she read my column every week word for word? I’m guessing no. Is she aware of the spoiler that’s out there every season? Yes. I can’t concern myself with what she writes and what she says. It’s her column, her own agenda, and she does her thing. I do my thing and our columns are completely separate. Frankly I think she’s one of the most candid, if not the most candid former contestant who has a platform to express her feelings about what really goes on in the show. So for that, I applaud her.

And c’mon, it isn’t THAT hard to spell Fedotowsky, is it?

3 questions for you

1) i know you have said juan pablo would not be chosen for next season bachelor, but when you weigh the duds that have come out of desiree’s season, can you see that their strategy would be to drum up some interest in him (sort of like when you said roberto was going to be the next one to give some ethnic flavour)? i’d be curious how you can see them going for filming a season around one of the boring ones left when they do have some spice at least in front of them if their ratings are down?

2) at the men tell all, desiree seemed to look like michael douglas’ wife, catherine zeta-jones. just wondering if you can put up a side by side of them from des at the men tell all and catherine from something. (by the way i’m a catherine fan, not a des one, but just couldn’t believe the likeness so i guess kudos to desiree’s styling team)

3) you appear to keep track of ratings. do you mind posting the avg ratings from each season since brad 1.0 (i think that’s when i started watching and came upon your blog with deanna’s season). i would like to see how this show has done if you are mentioning it’s pretty in the dumps for this season.

thanks for all you do, i like your recaps and spoilers. spoilers make for better watching definitely!

Comment: 1) Sure, if Juan Pablo ever got cast it would be strictly to finally cast a minority in the role. It just won’t be him. He had zero storyline during the season, and I don’t believe you can force feed the lead on America by throwing him in the hot seat on the MTA for 5 minutes. Not enough of a story.

2) She did? I didn’t think so. With a 100 emails to get to this week and I’m starting this late Wednesday night, asking me to google pics of each, well, that’s just too much. That’s easily an extra :20 seconds I just don’t have the luxury of right now in my busy, busy, busy night.

3) And now you want me to go search for ratings for the last 10 seasons? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I just thought I’d mention that in the MTA, Desiree said that she hasn’t been listening backstage re: Ben, but then brought up the ridiculous comparison of how James thinking about the future was the same as a man thinking about his second wife while with his first.. Wasn’t that comparison only mentioned during the special? I know it’s all staged but c’mon girl, at least keep your story straight.

Comment: I think it was also brought up during that episode by the other guys, so she was probably recalling it from that.

Hello from the great white north, eh

Love the column—read it during Jillian’s season and after for another season or two, then tailed off because I just didn’t have the energy to watch the show anymore. Watched the season this year with my best friend and she was delusional about the show in the way that she didn’t ever think of it as fake. Well. From the beginning I told her I knew the finish result. She caved the next day and texted wanting to know. Now we just watch every Monday to laugh and make fun of the guys.

I just wanted to share how the most ridiculous part of Men Tell All was the “viewing parties” they crashed. Who the hell was that guy who answered the door? I can’t pay my husband enough to watch this show, which is why I watch it at my friends. And all the chalkboard walls with the downlow on the guys…my friend and I were dying. And yes, I love wine. I love cheese. But how convenient these parties all had large amounts of them. And everyone dressed to the nines.

Know what our Monday night was??? Workout clothes on the couch with two beers and a bag of ketchup chips. And then my friend and I pretended for about five minutes what we would do if Chris Harrison showed up at the front door.

The conclusion was to make him go to the back entrance.

You’re welcome to come to our viewing party on Monday, where we are purchasing champagne and getting drunk and are playing a drinking game. Every time someone says LOVE take a drink and if you hear FOR THE RIGHT REASONS take a shot. Dress—sweatpants

Comment: That guy must’ve REALLY wanted to be on TV or something, because lets face it, any guy willing to be the door monitor in an estrogen filled “Bachelorette” watch party on Monday night seriously needs to re-think what he’s doing.

Unless he was getting laid by those women, then it’s understandable.


[Insert comment on how much I love your blog]

Hopefully this isn’t a repeat question. I was just wondering if you have any insight on the confidentiality agreement contestants have once they are off the show and when it is airing? One particular reason I ask is because I noticed that quite a few contestants have come out with pretty serious relationships within a very short time of the finale airing. This season, Lindsay and Lesley were both posting pictures of their boyfriends very soon after the season ended. A few season back Brad called out the fact that Chantal was dating someone new on the ATR Special.

Wouldn’t the fact that these people are obviously dating other people while the show is airing prove that they broke some sort of confidentiality agreement? Just curious!

Thanks for the spoilers and recaps!

Comment: You’re allowed to go back and live your life once the show ends if you didn’t win. Can you date? Sure. You just can’t plaster it all over FB, Instagram, or Twitter while the show is still airing if you made it deep into the process. Of course someone who got eliminated early, they don’t care about. But if you made it to final 5 or 6, and early on when the season is airing, it’s clear you have a boyfriend that you’re throwing up pics of on the internet, they’ll tell you to knock it off and wait.

As for Chantal, don’t forget who was the person who broke that news she was dating Jeff Razore. People tend to forget that when I changed the “Brad is engaged to Chantal” spoiler to “Brad is with Emily” two weeks before the finale, one of the reasons I had to back to up was that I had found out Chantal was dating Jeff Razore and they had been seen out. Kinda hard to be engaged when you’re out with someone else. So that was one of about four tips I had received on the wrong spoiler. And now Jeff and Chantal are married and expecting, so I guess it worked out for her.

I think the drama around the final rose …revolves around Drew. I think he tells more tales on people. She believes him.( and begins to think none of the guys are there for the right reason) When Brooks arrives Chris (Harrison) confronts him and finds that Drew has made up a story about him, and or someone else. Or he told something just on hear say. Chris then sends Brooks to Des to tell her ….what has been said is not completely true.
Des confused but her in heart, she trust Brooks . She confronts Drew with the lie and sends him home.

I may have Drew/Chriss mixed up…but I think …Drew who told the story of James and Mikey …actually may have not even have actually of heard that conversation…it was told to him…but he told it as if he heard it first hand. ( that is a rumor any way)

I haven’t actually heard this story …but I think this is a very possible out come.

Comment: I don’t think any of that happens, but good guess.

Since you were talking about all of the Bachelor/ette connections with HGTV…did you know Chris Harrison hosted “Designers’ Challenge” on HGTV back before his Bachelor days? That’s one of the many design shows I’ve watched over the years and i recognized him from it when I started watching The Bachelor. You may already know that connection, but I just thought it was interesting since you we’re listing the other connections!

Comment: Jesus, does this guy age at all?


Do you think not having the opportunity to participate in the Men Tell All will decrease the F3’s (in this case, Drew) chances of being selected as The Bachelor due to not having that extra exposure and the chance to “audition” for the part?


Comment: Probably not.

Hey Steve,

Have you noticed that Drew Kenney has lost a ton of his twitter followers? Didn’t he have over 50k at the beginning of the season? And now he’s down to 30k. Juan Pablo has more than him even.

What are your thoughts considering the controversy of Drew and/or ABC purchasing those followers in the first place to garner support for his stint as bachelor?

Comment: Not until I read this email did I check and I see as of this morning, he’s at 32k. Not sure why he lost 20k other than all those other followers were bought.

I can’t figure out why everyone keeps saying this season is so much more boring than other seasons. IT’S EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERY OTHER SEASON. The only difference is that Des is not witty or well spoken and is just not comfortable on camera. Every single season has boring dates where the couple only talks about what they are supposed to (i.e. if they think they are ready to get married, what their family is like, share some traumatic even from their past). They never show witty banter, funny scenes, etc. on any season, (which bugs me, show them having a fun conversation, laughing together, joking around for crying out loud!). Remember how Jef said that Emily is really witty and funny and they never showed that side of her on the show? Seriously, this season is exactly like every other season, except that Des doesn’t have a lot of variety in her vocabulary.

Also, I keep remembering how Sean and all of the girls LOVED Des. She must have a great personality when she is in a situation where she is comfortable. I know when I am “on the spot” or talking to someone I am not comfortable with, I become very quiet, can’t converse like I normally do, feel very self conscious, etc. I’m assuming that’s what’s going on with Des as the lead of the show now- she’s just too uncomfortable with all of the pressure and can’t be herself like she was on Sean’s season. He never would have been attracted to this quiet, uninteresting girl! Also, in the clip where she was chatting with the girls from her season, she had so much more personality! Just confirmed my theory that she is much more outgoing and fun when she is in a situation where she is comfortable.

Also, I’ll never understand why people complain to you every season about how boring the show is, yet THEY CONTINUE TO WATCH IT. If I was that bored with a show, I certainly wouldn’t turn it on every week!

Love your column, can’t wait to read it each week! Thanks for the fun spoilers!

Comment: I don’t concern myself with those who say it’s boring, because I know they’re watching and, more importantly, reading. You wouldn’t know if it was boring if you weren’t watching it. The ratings were down a good 1.5 million on average from Ashley, Emily, and Ali’s seasons, all season I was sharing emails with you of people saying it was boring, yet the second they start promoting a 2 part finale and this “shocking” ending, what happened? They reached 7.7 million on Monday, easily their biggest episode of the season. So apparently it isn’t all that boring. Hence the reason why this show isn’t going away anytime soon.

Hi Steve,

Not sure if someone already sent this to you but it is an intersting article about unfair treatment of those that work in reality tv. The article talks predominantly about Canadian shows but also British standards. I can’t imagine it’s much different with the US productions. Anyway for what it’s worth, here is a link to the article in the Toronto Star.

Comment: I’ve heard plenty of stories for the way production in reality TV programming gets treated. This is no surprise.


I have been listening to Jason and Molly’s podcast. They crack me up. They talk about how fake the show it is. How the producers get you to say things. Also admitted to comments being put out of order. I am not sure if you have listened at all. Also, Molly still loves the show even though she knows it is so FAKE.


Comment: I need to get caught up on all my Jason and Molly podcasts. People seem to love their candidness, and I think that’s great. Then again, they’re not telling you anything I haven’t been saying for years. It’s what the show does and it’ll never change.

Hey Steve-

Thanks for this column. I agree with everyone, this season blows. At least we have your column.

Juan Pablo is the only hot guy on the show, so I applaud them for bringing him a little attention, but unless they’re seriously considering him for the next Bach, why give him that much air time? Since you’ve made it clear that you don’t think they’ll go with him, what was their purpose of putting him in the hot seat and giving him all that attention?

As a side note, they should use Juan for Bach. He’s the only guy on this season I find remotely attractive. They went with someone “sweet” but not hot for Bachelorette with Des, and look where that got us. Des is one of those girls who other girls think is “pretty”…. trendy, classy wardrobe, a very made-up face, high-collared shirts, small boobs, etc. Not really a body or wardrobe that is attractive to guys (like Emily and Jill and even Ashley always wore). Ashley wasn’t super gorgeous, but she wore clothes that were figure-flattering and made her look adorable. Plus she had a personality. I just don’t look at Des and think “gosh I’d love to look like that” like I did with Emily or Jill. Plus, her personality is soo damn boring. I never liked her on Sean’s season, now I can’t stand her. She’s socially awkward. There doesn’t seem to be a connection with any of the guys because all she says are the stupid same one liners she’s fed by the producers “this is sooo amazing…. Madeira is the perfect place to fall in love…etc)

She was a real bitch at the MTA and looked even more stupid because she basically was Ali’s puppet. ABC better learn not to cast another retail salesperson with average looks and no personality. and I like Zak, he seems sweet, but NO NO NO to bachelor for him. He is NOT hot enough to be the Bachelor, and they’ll have another season with ratings in the tank.

ps. Des totally lied when she told Juan pablo that she “had to pick the dates according to how she was feeling and what she needed to know.” we all know the producers have complete and utter control over that.

pps. Please listen to Molly and J’s podcast #11. Fascinating. They talk about how the producers would say something like “I love Jason” and make Molly repeat it. Or they’d take parts of something she said and fuse it into another sentence completely. Like turn “I love puppies” into “I love Jason”. and they said that the good producers all quit after a certain amount of time because “they just can’t do it anymore….it’s just too f**ked up.”

thanks Steve, for everything!

Comment: It’s almost like this person recapped my own columns for me.

As for the Juan Pablo thing, sure they gave him airtime at the MTA to gauge the interest because he’s a candidate. He just won’t get it.

Hi Steve,

Like so many of your other readers, I wanna start by thanking you for making watching the Bachelor and Bachelorette so much more entertaining (and in the case of this season, more bearable). I’ve been following your site since Jake or Brad Part Deux and love knowing what’s going to happen before the show even airs. I feel somewhat validated by Desiree’s season being so horrible as she was my least favorite of the top 4 and I was super bummed when she was named Bachelorette. I’m not going to go so far as to say that her men are gay, but they are overwhelmingly effeminate and unattractive.

I think that a lot of what makes this season so wretched is the fact that it’s anything but a fairy tale no matter how much the show tries to convey the illusion that it is. I don’t want to be Des and I don’t want to date her men; if anything I just want the season to be over so that I can once again watch your spoilers prove correct.

Speaking of fairy tales, I spent the beginning of this week as a proud member of the watch party for the real life fairy tale that is the birth of the royal baby. I just finished watching MTA as a result. I’m sorry that my comments will be a week late but I noticed a few things while watching that weren’t mentioned in your column or other reader emails and thought they should be brought to attention.

First of all, I found it interesting that they so enthusiastically defended Des’ honor when talking about the guy (Jonathan?) on the first night who wanted to take her to the fantasy suite. Des has been particularly eager to kiss many of her guys this season and, while I know kissing wasn’t all that he was alluding to doing with Des in the fantasy suite, she doesn’t come off as the most chaste bachelorette they’ve ever had. She seems to be pretty modern and have modern views on getting physical with a man so the emphasis on her honor was just annoying.

Secondly, and most entertaining in my opinion, I literally laughed out loud when I heard the intro music for the return from the commercial break right before Ben took the hot seat. Did you notice what song it was? It was an instrumental version and I could be wrong, but I’m almost positive that the song was Self-Esteem by The Offspring. I’m a fan of the song and find the lyrics incredibly fitting for what was about to happen: “Now I know I’m being used, that’s okay, man, ’cause I like the abuse.” Clever, very clever.

Thanks again, Steve, and hope you enjoy your reunion!

Comment: As for Des’ promiscuity, well, she did use the fantasy suite with Drew and Chris before entering on a date with Brooks, a guy she clearly liked and wanted more than the other two. What happened in those suites? Well, only they know, but that’s not the point.

Hello Steve,

I’ll be in the minority here… Drew and Brooks are not gay… no, I don’t know this for sure, but the people that think they are just have a narrow view of how men are supposed to act. Sure, I have the fantasies of a big, burly guy with tattoos and a deep voice throwing me down and taking me. Heck when I was a little girl, I had a MR. T beach towel! But when it comes to who I would want to spend every day with for the rest of my life, it’s not him. I want a guy who is kind, compassionate, caring and really has a genuine concern about my feelings. That must be what Des likes, too. Her F4 all fit that description. So maybe the casting directors find out what type of person the lead is interested in and puts a few of them into the mix…? Maybe that’s why we’re seeing more artistic, sensitive type of men this season.

The pictures people keep showing of Brooks in the swimsuit portion of the talent show with his rear stuck out is him making fun of himself. If you look at the lineup of men that day, Brooks’ body is at the bottom of the hotness meter. I guess he probably knew that, and having the type of personality he does, he just decided to make fun of himself and not take it seriously. I thought he was hilarious, almost like a Saturday Night Live skit… funny stuff when he was strutting around like a girl. And give me a break with all of the pink comments. I’m sorry to tell you all this, but it is 2013, men wear pink! Drew is a fashion model, and he probably wears pink all the time, nothing strange about a man wearing pink! Some girls like the sensitive type of man, and some don’t, Des obviously does.


Comment: Ok. Thanks. One vote for “not gay.” Weeeeee!!!!!

Hi Mr. Steve Dude!

I have never emailed you so Hi! I have a few questions and comments…

1) I think 9-10 guys cried this season.

2) Did Zak cry? I couldn’t tell…

3) Do guys you think guys cry to much on the show?

4) I hated/loved it when men cry sense Jason’s season finale… What do you think?

5) When was the last time you cried? (I won’t make fun)

6) Why do you enjoy watching the bachelor/ette? I like it because… I don’t know I just do.

P.S. I went on your site yesterday and got hooked!

Comment: Someone is obsessed with crying.

Please tell me you know about the Fox show, and tell me that that nasty Krissy does NOT win, otherwise, ill stop watching if she does!

Comment: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Fox show. Krissy. No f***ing clue.

Hi Steve!

I just discovered your site a few weeks ago, and I’m so glad I did! It’s always fun reading your posts and finding out the behind-the-scenes info on the show.

So, I wanted to send you this really interesting news article my husband found the other day! He is from Chile, and he reads this Chilean newspaper called EMOL online every day to get a lot of his news. He found an article titled “The Bachelor” llega a Chile para buscar al soltero que protagonizará su próxima temporada, which in English says “The Bachelor” arrives in Chile to search for the bachelor who will star in its next season”!!! This may already be old news to you, but I thought it was really interesting!! The article goes on to say that men in Chile who meet all of the show’s requirements (age, single, etc.) can now apply to an online web contest, and the winner of the contest will then win a trip to the US to continue the audition process against the other men who are auditioning! It said they have until July 31st to do it, so I am guessing that means they are trying to cast someone for this upcoming season?? It makes sense to me now why they focused so much attention on Juan Pablo at the Men Tell All episode, maybe they are trying to get people interested in the idea of having a Hispanic lead for the Bachelor! That’s just my theory 🙂 It also said in the article that this is being made possible through a partnership between a company in Chile and ABC, so it sounds like it’s the producers that are wanting to give this a shot. But I think it would be great to have a little more diversity on the show! And I think it’s awesome that they are even opening that opportunity to people in other countries 🙂 I wonder if Chile is the only place they are doing this! Anyway, I just thought you’d be interested to hear that! I’d love to hear your thoughts on it, as I’m sure all of your readers would!

Here is the link to the article:

Comment: The next “Bachelor” will not be some random guy from Chile. Maybe they’ll cast him for a future “Bachelorette” season as one of the guys, but it’s certainly not for the lead initially.

Dear Steve,

I really love your blogs and spoilers but have to disagree with you on the subject of US Magazine. You think that they are “in bed” with ABC but I couldn’t disagree more. Dating back to Emily’s season, US was always coming out with stories about how she was throwing tantrums behind the scenes if her wardrobe or makeup etc. weren’t just right. They were letting us know not to believe the sweet Southern Belle image that ABC was trying to sell us. Then came the sexting scandal which they broke regarding Emily and Matt Leinhardt. Why would they uncover this if they want to always paint the Bachelor/Bachelorette stars in good light? They also were the first to print pictures of Ben kissing other women while engaged to Courtney.

I think it’s People Magazine that are in close with ABC because they never print anything negative about the show and they always get the first photo shoot of the new couples.

Comment: Just because US Weekly prints scandalous stories about the contestants, doesn’t mean they don’t have an in when it comes to spoilers. They do. This show uses US Weekly as a tool to get out what spoilers they want released because it’s more publicity for them. Will US Weekly ever spoil the show in advance? Of course not. But they will allude to stuff and print stories throughout the course of the season to sell a storyline. It happens every season and it’s because they have a relationship with the show.

Oh yeah, another reason it’s obvious US Weekly is in their back pocket? Because US will never credit my site anymore. They used to reference it all the time back when I first started spoiling, and look at that, magically it’s disappeared even though I’ll break something first and they run with it later. You don’t think that has ANYTHING to do with the show going to them and saying, “Look, you don’t reference that guy or his site and we’ll help you out.” They’ve said that directly to other outlets, so I know it goes on. That’s ok. Just goes to show the impact my site is having on this franchise.

Hi Steve,

Been reading your site for years. Finally gave up on Bachelor with Des… she was just that boring for me.

But I saw this other wonderfully awful show where its mostly young men vs young women and the men have always won in the past. It plays about 3x a week with an elimination happening either daily or weekly. I think the winner gets 250k. Everything is recorded but the bathroom. No one screws around as that would be played too.

Do you know which one I am talking about?

Comment: Not a clue.

Page 1 of 512345


  1. keepitreal1

    August 6, 2013 at 5:46 PM

    Desiree is sooooo annoying. Her sobbing is ridiculous. Does she know what real problems are? She sobbed b/c brooks broke up with her while 2 other men are waiting in line to marry her. There is a couple in Pennsylvania who’s 2 year old son died of Leukemia last night. That is something to cry about. Desiree, you sobbed on national tv because some fool you have known for 10 weeks broke it off with you. Then a few days later, you decided you love Chris- then you cried about that because “no one has ever loved you this much before.” Girlfriend, look outside of yourself and put it in perspective.

  2. babyonemoretime123

    August 7, 2013 at 4:28 AM

    Oh come now posters,no need to fight amongst yourselves. Can’t Catherine (mikeflessplayedyou) and Dana(iheartvino) kiss and makeup or are you both going to drag eachother through the mud like you did last year? Come on we all can just hate on RS together!

  3. babyonemoretime123

    August 7, 2013 at 4:30 AM

    I miss my fabulous ladies, and to see you fight like this is just plain plain wrong. Stop attacking RS for making a mistake, stop attacking each other, why oh why can’t we all get along. Liz123 can get along with everyone…she has nothing better to do.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply

  © Copyright - All rights reserved

To Top

Privacy Preference Center

Close your account?

Your account will be closed and all data will be permanently deleted and cannot be recovered. Are you sure?