Reality Steve

The Bachelor 18 - Juan Pablo

The “Bachelor” Juan Pablo Recap Including What’s the Incident Next Week Involving Clare

Needless to say, plenty of you have opinions on the Sean & Catherine wedding from this past Sunday night. I think the “Reader Emails” are already at about 40 or so, with probably 80% of them being wedding related. I’d say it’s running about 50/50 in terms of whether or not people liked it. I have a few thoughts I’ll get to in a moment on it, but it’s pretty much what we’ve come to expect from this show when they televise a wedding. Granted this one was slightly different because it was live, which really had no major effect on the outcome. I think I remember Chris Harrison having one screw up while introducing one of the prepackaged videos, but other than that, nothing too major. A wedding is a wedding. It’s definitely more for the women who watch this show so they can dissect every little piece about it. Frankly, the first hour and 20 min or so was a waste, but, it’s exactly what they did for the previous weddings they aired. They kill time showing everything leading up to it, then the ceremony maybe lasts 30 minutes. So any more “Reader Emails” or “Dr. Reality Steve,” get them in the next couple days to so they can be posted on Thursday.

A couple things to discuss regarding the wedding overall before we get into what actually happened. First, the ratings. It drew 6.2 million viewers. By comparison, Jason & Molly’s drew 9.3 million, and Ashley & JP drew 3.9 million. So it fell pretty much right in the middle. Yes, it was going up against the Grammys, and that certainly didn’t help, but, Juan Pablo’s first Sunday show of the season back on Jan. 5th, that one hour “Intro to Juan Pablo” drew 6.5 million. I’m guessing executives never expected that episode to outdraw a wedding. Now, lets take a look at the ratings for all four of Juan Pablo’s episodes this season:

Episode 1: 8.6 million
Episode 2: 7.88 million
Episode 3: 7.82 million
Episode 4: 8.6 million

So basically every episode of Juan Pablo’s season has drawn AT LEAST 1.5 million viewers more than that wedding did. And 2 episodes drew almost 2.5 million viewers more. I would expect the ratings for the rest of the season to be in the 8 million range as we’re starting to dwindle down in numbers and people start realizing who is who.

The other big story to come out of the wedding was this whole notion that people actually thinking ABC was lying saying it was live all because of Ali Fedotowsky’s whereabouts. Ali tweeted out a picture Sunday afternoon on the set of the E! Grammy pre-show, then as we know, she was at the wedding. I can’t tell you how many people emailed me saying, “The wedding isn’t live! Ali can’t be at both places at the same time!” People, do you really think a network is going to lie to its viewers about whether something is live or not? That’s impossible to do because they’d be called out on it by everyone. Pay attention. The wedding was live. Ali tweeted the picture from the PRE-show at the Grammys. She never tweeted pictures from inside Staples Center while it was happening, or even an hour before it happened. She was at the E! pre-show, left and drove up to Santa Barbara for the wedding. If you noticed in that first hour when they had the live shots of the crowd mingling, Ali was never there. She was still en route to the hotel. Here’s a Google map link from Staples Center to the Four Seasons Biltmore. It’s 92 miles. Here’s Ali’s boyfriend, Kevin Manno, tweeting yesterday about Sunday:


So yes, it’s entirely possible for Ali to leave the E! pre-show and make it to Santa Barbara in time for the vows. Hell, she DID. We saw her there. And no, it wasn’t taped. Did you not see multiple people from the wedding tweeting and instagramming pictures as well from the cocktail party that we were all watching live? I was shocked at how many people doubted the wedding being live all because of Ali of all people. Use your head. A network isn’t going to advertise a live wedding for months, only to tape it and EVERYONE at the wedding being able to keep that quiet? And all tweeting and instagramming at the exact same time as we’re watching them on TV? Please. Bizarre.

Ok, quick thoughts on the wedding itself:

-I still have no idea what “grown sexy” is, nor do I care to know, and I don’t think the 6.2 million who watched even have a clue. But if Catherine’s goal was to get “grown sexy” to become a new wedding catch phrase, she sure did a hell of a job of it.

-As we saw, Juan Pablo wasn’t there. I think we can all guess why. People and Entertainment Weekly had reporters at the wedding. ABC’s leash on Juan Pablo is about as tight as you can get right now after his foot-in-his-mouth incident. There was no way they were going to expose him to the media in that setting.

-The Honeymoon Suite Cam was just pointless. The show was only 2 hours long. We all knew the show would end once the ceremony was over. What, were people actually expecting a network television show was gonna broadcast these two back in their room? Hence the reason it was pointless. Just dumb.

-The amount of wedding night sex talk was unbearable. I know it’s been a huge focus surrounding Sean ever since he starred as the “Bachelor,” but when you dedicate at least 30 minutes to it in the prepackaged videos, and it’s constantly what you are referring to, even telling Chris Harrison you’re “going to perform masterfully,” it’s a bit much.

-Sean’s dad I’m guessing will be officiating wedding ceremonies til the day he dies. That was right up his alley and I guarantee fans of this show are contacting him now asking if he’ll officiate their wedding.

-They made such a big deal about the vows, and honestly, I mean they were good, but did they blow me away? Not really. Pretty much what I expected them to say. Although Catherine did throw in “love sprinkles,” whatever the hell those are. Do those go on cookies? Donuts?

-I can almost guarantee you one thing: Des & Chris’ wedding will not be happening in 2014. Not saying they’re not getting married, I’m just saying I can’t fathom it happening later this calendar year. It will no doubt draw lower ratings than Sean & Catherine’s wedding if it did. Even if Des & Chris go with a November wedding, are people really gonna be that excited to see it? They’ll be like, “Yeah, this is great and all, but we just watched one 10 months ago and it’s pretty much the same thing.” They need to space out the weddings if they want to draw people in. Not to mention, I don’t think Des & Chris have nearly the popularity that Sean & Catherine do, and that’s not saying much.

Here are a couple deleted scenes from last night. Hey, more trash talking about what a buzzkill Nikki is. Real shocker. Plus, Juan Pablo’s first deliberation with Chris Harrison that wasn’t shown:

I know a lot of you will be asking me this week, “What are they talking about regarding Clare next episode?” In case you missed Chris Harrison’s blog, or weren’t paying attention to the preview for next week, here’s what you missed:

The thing he’s referring to is Clare going to Juan Pablo’s room late at night after one of the dates, and them going frolicking in the ocean together. Basically a repeat of what Courtney did with Ben in Puerto Rico, except Clare kept her bikini on. I have a feeling as well that this was done behind the girls backs and none of them knew this happened just based on what the preview is showing. It’s only showing Juan Pablo and Clare discussing it and not anyone else. So there’s your spoiler for next week.

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  1. marybods

    January 28, 2014 at 11:31 AM

    WOW, no way JPabs ex, Carla wants her daughter to be around such a be-ouch like Nikki. If she is jealous of the other girls garunteed she’s gonna be jealous of gorgeous Carla. Baby momma is probaly telling Don Juan to pull a Mesnick and switch his choice to mother hen Renee.

    Please, please SHARLEEN for next bachelorette????

  2. strick432

    January 28, 2014 at 11:35 AM

    I can’t stand it anymore. It’s “all of a sudden” not “all the sudden”. I thought maybe Steve the writer would correct this at some point but he hasn’t. Please Steve, get a grip on your English grammar!!!!!

  3. strick432

    January 28, 2014 at 11:37 AM

    I held out as long as I could – it’s “all of a sudden” not “all the sudden”. I thought Steve the writer would correct this at some point but he hasn’t. Get a grip on your English grammer Steve!!!

  4. fashnnggt

    January 28, 2014 at 11:56 AM

    You mean “you can’t stand it any longer?”

  5. serapa

    January 28, 2014 at 11:57 AM

    I agree that Carla will never accept Nikki. JP is not into
    Renee. He’s really into Sharl, but Sharl is way out of his league. JP will end up marrying a nice Latina girl from Miami in about 2-5 years.

  6. serapa

    January 28, 2014 at 11:58 AM

    I would love to see Sharleen as the next Bachelorette too. RS is right though…ABC producers are rooting for Dorf Dorf Dorf….

  7. serapa

    January 28, 2014 at 12:00 PM

    One more comment, is it just me or does JP seem really out of his element and awkward on this show? He just seems really uncomfortable as the Bachelor. Even with the edits, he’s totally not into this…it’s obvious to me.

  8. rob22

    January 28, 2014 at 12:20 PM

    serapa: JP wasn’t into his time on The Bachelorette either…. you know during the 90 seconds of air time he had all season. His MO is to stare blankly, nod his head occassionally, and then act confused once he realizes someone asked him a question. With these qualifications, he’d make an excellent bus boy at a chinese buffet.

  9. iheartvino

    January 28, 2014 at 12:22 PM

    I love all the nicknames everyone has for Juan Pablo. JP, J’Pabs, Juanny P, even Rob22’s favorite, Hu-wahn Pahhblow, etc. haha.

    serapa, yep, JP looks very uncomfortable as the Bachelor. Same can be said about some of the contestants- I wonder how many takes they did for the ITM’s. I can just see the producers “ummm can you talk about how much fun you had today, but it doesn’t have to be something from today, just think of a fun day you had with your ex-boyfriend or whatever and we’ll just edit it to make it look like you’re talking about JP, okay?”

  10. texasfight88

    January 28, 2014 at 12:23 PM

    Has anyone else noticed how Ali seems to always go out of her way to connect and form some sort of relationship with the “hot item” contestants and couples? First it was Ashley H., then Emily, Sean, JP/Ashley (the couple), Des, Sean/Catherine (the couple), and one would assume she’ll do the same if/when Andi becomes the Bachelorette. From afar, it looks like she goes to great lengths to connect with them. And she has done a fair share of tweeting/instagraming pictures of her with them. Does she still want to stay relevant?

  11. SeaDub

    January 28, 2014 at 12:26 PM

    So far, I don’t mind Nikki. Nothing wrong with a little crabby-ness. I would be crabby too around the positivity and smiles on steroids that some of these women are emulating. It’s Clare who I want to K-Pop in the mouth.

    Definitley Sharleen for the next Bachelorette!! Has it really taken this long and this many women to have one who has sophistication and candor?

  12. jazzmine

    January 28, 2014 at 12:43 PM

    1. Nikki danced worse than Elaine Bennis
    2. If DeYawna Pappas Stagipoopolis and Ali were at the wedding, why wasn’t Holly Durst Julian?
    3. Did Jeremy Cade Anderson adopt another baby????

  13. paisley17

    January 28, 2014 at 1:04 PM

    Sharleen should be the next bachelorette! Is there any chance of that happening? Did they ask her and get a “no”?

  14. terrads

    January 28, 2014 at 1:17 PM

    What about the shocking surprise in the promos for Sean and Catherine’s wedding? Never happened.

  15. strick432

    January 28, 2014 at 1:39 PM

    Sorry my post posted twice – computer acting up. I still can’t figure out why Ali Fed and her nerdy ugly boyfriend and DeAnna Pappas and her hubby were wedding guests. They are not Bachelor/ette success stories and wouldn’t seem to know Sean and Catherine from Adam.

  16. rob22

    January 28, 2014 at 1:45 PM

    Did everyone like Sean’s faux-hawk? Or did he just get a bad haircut? Was it editing that propped up this guy and made him seem like a stud? He sure seems like a big blonde propeller head now. I can see why he liked Catherine. Two doofuses in a pod. God it would be intolerable to have them as neighbors.

  17. Sunnyside422

    January 28, 2014 at 1:57 PM

    Actually success is not a criteria for the many appearances of past Bachelors/ettes. Just wanting to get their faces in front of cameras and free hotels/trips/food. Ali Fed will be a career Bachelorette. And I agree her new man is fuggly looking. Roberto is probably scratching his head with “why him”.

    Said I wouldn’t watch the wedding and I didn’t. Grammys were far more interesting. Next we will hear that giggly girl got pregnant on the first insertion by Seanie…and all the details on how it happened! These two are cray-cray and need to fade away.

    I like Renee. She is a normal, sweet, smart lady who deserves a decent man. Juanny is an airhead and definitely gonna hook up with another like him after many years of sampling.

    Sharleen has an exotic look that would attract men but she is waaay to bright to attach herself to this show after this appearance! Nah…Fleiss and his minions want dumb and dumber as their leads…as they have proven season after season.

    Great recap Steve…had many laugh out loud moments but then we knew Juanny would be terrific fodder for you.

  18. jazzmine

    January 28, 2014 at 2:06 PM

    I think I answered my own question — Holly Julian wasn’t at the wedding because she’s not a “career bachelorette” like DeYawna and Ali Fed.

  19. lawestie

    January 28, 2014 at 2:25 PM

    I’m Korean! It’s “Neh gah jeh-eel jahl nah gah,” and the literal translation means, “I go out the best,” or, “I present myself the best (or better than you)”

    It was utterly annoying for Clare to shout, “KOREA?! I’ve never even worn a KIMONO before!” or something to that effect. Kimonos are Japanese, you twerp.

  20. lawestie

    January 28, 2014 at 2:28 PM

    Oh, and I have to say it was pretty hilarious and endearing at the very end of the episode when JP was lip synching to the song, getting all into it. 🙂

  21. chumley

    January 28, 2014 at 2:49 PM

    Hey Steve,

    We actually already know that three of the girls see JP and Claire frolicking in the ocean at night in the next episode from this preview clip:

    It’s toward the end. Three of the girls are standing on the beach watching them. Maybe you can tell which three girls are watching?

  22. strick432

    January 28, 2014 at 3:31 PM

    Depending on where DeAnna lives, I would think her doc would have advised her not to travel this late in her pregnancy.

  23. bigfatwoman

    January 28, 2014 at 4:30 PM

    Totally disagree on Sharleen for next Bach. She definitely is different than the mold we’re used to, but I think she’s more awkward and apathetic than sophisticated or interesting.

    @rob22-totally agree about Sean. He has really turned out to be quite the Lunkhead. He and The Giggler are a perfectly matched emotionally stunted couple. I can only hope they fade into oblivion.

    If all that virgin talk, bed footage and lingerie shopping wasn’t reason to keep a wedding personal and private, I don’t know what is. And no, I would never have a televised wedding if offered. Not everyone wants their life made public in order to make money.

  24. jacey

    January 28, 2014 at 5:53 PM

    Haven’t watched any of the franchise’s weddings and saw no reason to change that on Sunday.

    I hopped on to comment on the “kimono” revelation from Clare’s dumb arse last night, but I see someone has taken care of that.

    Imho, Sharleen *wants* to be the next Bachelorette, however, unless she becomes much more pliable and compliant real quick, that ain’t happening. I’m pretty sure the DA is the producer choice — and not a bad one, I think.

    JP’s contradictions basically stem from his lack of interest in the process as a whole. He obviously resents being manipulated, and the only girl he has any true interest in he knows is way out of his soccer league. Nikki is chosen by default. Oh! If you exchange Nikki’s blond hair for dark tresses, you pretty much have that chick Ben chose from his season. What was her name? Courtney? Same five-finger foreheads and facial characteristics.

    I absolutely love Kelly. Kelly on Clare:
    “It (the piece of octopus) was about this big. And I know you’ve swallowed bigger things than that”

    Claire said she had chocolate breath. JP missed her whiff of desperation. Her whole schitck during that conversation was cringe-inducing. I don’t think it’s as much about JP as it is getting camera time.

    Btw… I’ve seen at least a couple comments about the lack of ethnicity in the current cycle. There was the black lady who left a week or two ago, and Danielle is undoubtedly part African descent, Sharleen is part Aboriginal, and a couple of the other girls have some ‘flava’ as well.

    Lastly, I was lmao when Elise who thought her place for another week was so secure, got the boot. Kharma

  25. gemsnob

    January 28, 2014 at 8:31 PM

    A few comments were made about “who” is invited to these weddings. I believe anyone that was married on a Bachelor televised wedding is pretty much automatically invited (4 couples). Chris & Des are engaged so of course they are invited. Based on comments they have made I doubt they will opt for a TV wedding. Deanna most likely got invited since she is pregnant and ABC wants to flaunt “Bachelor babies” and she lives in the area. Ali continues to “cling” to the bachelor world and with her job at E she interviews the bachelors, etc. A side note about Ali she is the only contestant who did NOT return her Neil Lane engagement ring. She was nice enough to say that on E one night that “she fought ABC to keep the ring” she felt she “deserved” it. Not sure why you want the ring since she is no longer with Roberto but then again the value was $50,000 so she has that going for her. I would say “clinging” to her bachelorette days is an understatement. As for the rest that were there Arie, Jeff, & John they were all on Emily’s season with Sean.

  26. mrsb

    January 29, 2014 at 1:02 AM

    I had to create an account just to say how much I love the recaps this season! Wow, JP has really given you ALOT of material. I have never laughed so much, thanks for making this season so entertaining, this site is so much better than the actual show.

  27. marybods

    January 29, 2014 at 5:38 AM

    If JPabs had any second thoughts about giving Elise the boot, that dress alone sealed the deal! WTH was that thing? Half ball gown-half shorts. In freaking neon green yet! In what universe was that ok?
    How bazar is it that that ABC producer is tweeting out…Dorf, Dorf! Wow dude is creepy as hell. DAndi has the next season in the bag. But one question. As per RS, DAndi chooses to leave the show. Have they ever used a contestant for the next lead if they left the show on their own accord? Hummm

  28. serapa

    January 29, 2014 at 6:25 AM

    Marybods, yes, Ali left Jake on her own accord b/c she had to go back to her job at Facebook.

  29. mariet

    January 29, 2014 at 9:41 AM

    This guy’s recaps are always funny.

  30. mush

    January 29, 2014 at 9:57 AM

    funny how people on this site comment which person juanpa should chose. I mean, don’t you get it yet? its fake. he agreed to do as the producers told him to do. I do worry about sean lowe, though. is Catherine mature enough for him? she giggles, I get it. that’s fun to be around I guess. but all the time? is her faith as strong as his? if not, its not going to work. can she be strong when shes not “loved enough” because the kids come first? or when sean is depressed (we all are at times) and needs to be alone?

  31. ladybirdrn

    January 30, 2014 at 3:49 AM

    I also like Sean and Kathryn -so she giggles-she is just a fun happy person. I respect how she handle Sean’s being on Dancing With The Stars-had to be hard when she sat I the audience and had nothing to do while he practice in a town she knew no one! DWTS has been the beginning of the down fall for many. She clearly lives and respects Sean and fits in well with people-easy going, so what they goof around and laugh and have fun-more people should try it, Sean went for the marrying girl he didn’t fall for the ones that only came to win or get TV time, I see them as truly being happy, not sure I buy Trista and Ryan’s whole story any more-clearly look like it’s forced-like they are trying too hard.

  32. Dianne

    January 30, 2014 at 7:07 AM

    Sorry JP, but nobody, and I mean nobody, rocks red pants like Ames!

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