Reality Steve

The Bachelor 18 - Juan Pablo

The “Bachelor” Juan Pablo Recap Incl When Does the “Women Tell All” Tape & Ranking the Final 8 Girls – By Hair

You pretty much know my feelings on the last 8 girls as I’ve given them throughout these last 6 weeks. However, I got an email at the end of last week that I figured I’d share. Someone took the time to rank these final 8 based on their hair style, something I know absolutely nothing about. Well, I take that back. Even I could tell you what horrible roots Nikki has. But I figured since most of my readers are women, they’d appreciate this breakdown on the final 8’s hairstyles by someone who styles hair for a living. I never thought someone could dissect women’s hair as thoroughly as this person could, but dammit if they didn’t write a novel. Holy crap. Enjoy.
Hi Steve,

As a hairstylist myself, I can’t help but critique the contestants’ or lead’s hair each season. This one was no different, so I thought I’d share some brief thoughts about hair with you regarding the final 8 women because, you know, I’m sure you care. Anyway, I’m breaking them down from worst to best, and remember, this is based solely on their hair and nothing else.. So here it goes:

8. Renee: I would love to do a make-over on Ben’s mom. She’s stuck in a rut and clearly has no time to keep up with the maintenance of her hair. However, I have many single moms as clients, and most are looking for something cute/sexy, yet low maintenance because they’re always on the go. The greatest part of my job is reminding women to take time out of their busy lives to pamper themselves. It’s so incredibly important- it keeps them feeling sexy, attracts a potential love interest (or keeps a current one happy), and it makes you feel beautiful. And when you feel beautiful, you are beautiful. Renee looks like she has practically given up. She looks tired and, understandably, worn down. And she looks like she hasn’t been to a hair salon in years.

She has thin, fine hair. That’s ok, a lot of women do, but there are styles and color choices that can trick your eyes into seeing healthy, full, shiny, beautiful hair, i.e. Kat, but we’ll get to her later.

We’ll start with the “hard” middle part, as I refer to it. Softer parts fluctuate- you can wear your part on either side, in the middle, or have no part. No parts add a more airy, whimsical, flirty look. She already has some layers, I’d add more, but just adding some volumizing product at the crown of her hair, and drying it upside down and then back with a round bristle brush, can easily achieve that look, especially for women with fine hair and lots of well placed layers because there’s no weight pulling the hair down, and she likely doesn’t have to worry too much about frizz. I think Renee would look gorgeous with just a few finely weaved highlights to bring some color to her face, instead of that mousy brown color she sports now. It would really bring out her eyes, and it’s easy, quick, and requires little maintenance.

She’s 32, and when I saw her getting ready for her one-on-one date with JP last week, I cringed at the way she was curling her hair. It looked as if she had never seen one, let alone used one. Rule of thumb, always curl away from the face on either side, and always add product so you don’t get that “dented” look Renee had. Her entire hairstyle looked like half of a wave.

7. Chelsie: She’s stuck in the “cute” category, as opposed to sexy. She has beautiful, long hair, but it needs some length taken off, and she desperately needs some layering. Her hair needs movement. Sure, her hair is long, but it just falls too heavy and dull on a girl who looks so young, and contrary to popular belief, her long hair makes her look even younger. It needs movement, volume, bounce, but a style that, when straightened, gives her some sharp edges. Sharp, hard lines are sophisticated, sleek, and sexy.

And then there’s her color. Her color appears so bland to me, that there are only a few reasonable explanations. It’s either her real color, she colors it herself, or someone is using way too much of a “golden” flat high lift color, rather than some cooler pieces which would make for a gorgeous contrast from her golden skin tone and neutralize her all over appearance so she isn’t leaning on one tone too heavily. Her hair and skin tone are too close to the same color, and she just appears washed out to me.

6. Nikki: By no fault of her own she has impossible hair. It’s thick, corse, and frizzy. She needs product. A lot of product. A frizz serum would do her wonders, along with a conditioning mask that has 2 key ingredients that everyone’s hair needs- carbohydrates, and protein. She needs a deep condition that will open up her cuticles, and allow for moisture to penetrate the cuticle and keep it locked in… And she’s blond, which doesn’t help. Corse hair that already has a tendency to frizz, doesn’t like bleach. Basically by bleaching her hair, she is essentially stripping already damaged hair of all nutrients and color. That leaves her hair looking like a puff ball, and leaves her cuticles completely blown out, giving the appearance of dry, brittle, split ends.

Nikki is naturally dark. Hairstylists use a numbering system when determining a client’s natural level of hair color- 1-10, with 1 being the darkest (black) and 10 being the lightest (light blond). I’d say Nikki easily falls into a 5, which is dark. Cassandra, for example, is probably a 3, and while their shade of color doesn’t seem like a huge stretch, it’s the tonality of the root color that makes all the difference. Cassandra is cool.. Cool colors have undertones of blues, greens, grey, while golden tones have a yellow, red, warm base. So that is why one can look at a level 3 and a level 5 and see a more noticeable difference in color; it’s the tonality that is typically prominent, as opposed to the actual color itself.

With that being said, Nikki’s roots need some help. I’d expect her hairstylist back home to have suggested adding some very natural, fine lowlights (a color closest to her natural color) because of the potential expanded period of time she’d be away. With lowlights, it is less noticeable when the roots begin to grow out, and with Nikki’s hair being so naturally dark, this should have been done. Now we will be seeing her dark roots in contrast to her bleach blond hair, and that’s never a good thing. Adding lowlights would have made her regrowth much less noticeable because it would blend in better with the darker pieces throughout.

One thing I have to give Nikki credit for, however, is that she does an amazing job with the difficult hair she has to work with. She blows it out with a round brush, minimizing the frizz, and changes up her style with braids and a variety of different up-dos, which is hard to do on your own.. So, props to her for that.

5. Clare: This one confuses me because she’s also a hairstylist. I have nothing bad to say about her color, it’s gorgeous. She adds the high and lowlights that I’ve suggested for Chelsie and Nikki, and it looks great. Her cut looks great, but then there are those dreadful bangs. I don’t mind bangs, I think they look really good on certain people, and I think they could have worked on Clare. What bothers me is the side bangs.. No, not side swept, because that actually means your bangs go from one corner and softly sweep completely over to the opposite side. Clare’s bangs are more like blunt bangs that are literally only on one side of her forehead. I realize that Clare has an elongated forehead, so she had the right idea, but the cut was executed poorly. The most plausible explanation is that she has a crazy cowlick that won’t allow her hair to sweep at any other angle- most people have cowlicks. But as a hairstylist, I don’t understand why she would then choose to wear such blunt, thick bangs that won’t fall in any other direction other than the right side of her forehead. Her bangs are too thick, too heavy, too bulky, and I just want to pin them back. She should have gone with full wispy bangs, or none at all. She knows her hair, and she knows about her cowlicks, we all do, so accentuating what most people try to cover up seems odd to me, especially because she is a hairstylist. Hopefully at the ATFR, her bangs will be gone, and they won’t drive me nuts. It’s very asymmetrical, which can work with hair cuts, but never, ever with bangs alone.

4. Andi: Beautiful hair, no doubt about it. She’s rockin’ the ombré look, and while it goes against everything I was trained to do (intentionally make your client’s hair look like the roots have grown out and the sun has kissed the ends), I think it looks great on her. Catherine also pulls off the ombré well. I’m surprised at how long this trend has lasted. It’s a pain for us to do on our clients, but it doesn’t look like it’s going out of style anytime soon. Some women can pull it off, some can’t. Andi can. It’s a little on the brassy side, but that can easily be fixed with a cool toner (cool cancels out the warm and vice versa), which looks like it has been washed out since filming began. At any rate, it looks like I’ll be doing ombrés for many more years. Thanks, Drew Berrymore.

3. Kat: Gorgeous color, perfect layering to add movement, obvious hair extensions to me, probably not to most of the viewers. Hair extensions on someone like Kat is essential. Her stylist did an amazing job adding just the right amount, not only for length, but for thickness. It looks natural, and her cut blends in perfectly with the extensions. Cheap extensions tend to look choppy because they aren’t made of 100% real hair. They aren’t the clip-ins either, they’re high quality, and it shows. A high price to pay (close to $1k, depending on how many bundles are bonded in), but well worth it, especially because she is or was a dancer.

Her hair is flirty and fun, and she knows how to wear it. She has a choppy look. Her layers are more shelved than blended, but it’s perfect for her because her hair is so fine and thin, blended layers would give it a stringy, flat, dull look. Shelved layers are a great compromise for fine hair because it gives the appearance of thickness.

2. Sharleen: Gorgeous long, thick hair. What I really love about Sharleen is how versatile she is with her look. She pulls it back, pins it half up, wears it down, but no matter the style, it always looks like she spent hours perfecting it. She has a beautiful face, and she tends to wear her hair in styles that enhance her facial features instead of hiding them. Her color is gorgeous, and I believe that could be her natural color. Lucky girl!

1. Cassandra: Cassandra pulls off barrel curls like no one else. She should show Renee a thing or two about using a curling iron. Or not haha. She has long, rich hair, but the color looks soft and subtle. The tone is cool, and with a warm skin complexion, it’s the perfect balance. Now, she’s also the youngest, and as we age, our hair changes due to hormones and other factors, but for now at least, I hope she enjoys the heck out of it because she’s been blessed. The texture, natural volume, color, cut, and style is one of the best overall sets of hair I’ve seen in a while.

So that’s how I rank the final 8, from a hairstylist’s point of view. My top pick for best hair would be a toss up between Alexis and Cassandra, but since I’ve already addressed Cassandra, let’s talk about Alexis.

Alexis has beautiful color. She is a brunette, but she has added some lighter pieces throughout to give the color dimension, contrast and vibrance. The tonality of her highlights is perfect. She went with a warmer caramel brown, so while it’s noticeable, it isn’t too light.

Her cut is also one of my absolute favorites. Her stylist went for choppy layers throughout, starting at the crown, which gives her hair a lot of movement on top and all the way through. This layered look looks great straight, and even better with some curl.
Have you ever noticed long, curled hair that seems a little “off”?
It’s probably in need of some layering. Without layers, the weight of the hair makes it nearly impossible for those who have long hair to keep a pretty curl from root to end, especially for women with thick hair like Alexis. Typically, it ends up looking straight with just a few curls at the bottom. Thanks, gravity. Layering eliminates that issue on its own. The shorter pieces throughout take out some of the heaviness and bulk in the hair and allows for the curls to look voluminous, rather than weighed down.

And now for the worst hair. My 3 “Worst Hair” awards go to…Amy J., Lucy, and Danielle.

Let’s start with Amy. We only had the chance to see her in one episode, but boy did she make an impression. Her cut and color says, “I’m shy, conservative, quiet, self conscious.” Her mouth said, “I’m overtly outgoing, quirky, free-spirited, and confident.”
Nothing about her hair embodies her personality. The flat brown color, bob cut, topped with blunt, straight across bangs just don’t work for her. Or anyone, but especially her.
She needs to switch colors with Kylie, and trade her cut and style with…. No one.
No one should have that cut, but she needs to do something. It’s moments like this, I remember the saying, “We’re beauticians, not magicians.”

Then there’s Lucy. Where do I start, and how do I end? There’s just too much wrong. Long, stringy, bland hair that hasn’t seen a brush in years. Did she say she doesn’t believe in washing her hair? I thought she did, and I’m sure her scalp and those around her strongly disagree. Your scalp is just as important as any other part of your body. It’s like saying she doesn’t believe in washing her feet, or brushing her teeth (and she might not do either of those things either), but not taking care of your scalp leads to not-so-healthy hair. A healthy scalp is the foundation to good hair. Just like you can’t build a house on a broken foundation, you can’t grow a healthy set of hair on a scalp that’s damaged.

Washing and brushing your hair not only keeps your hair clean and tangle free, it stimulates blood flow to your scalp, and produces healthy hair follicles to grow. And just like every other part of your body, your scalp needs moisture, too.. and not the kind of moisture you get from sitting next to sprinklers or hosing yourself off in lieu of a shower. It needs to be conditioned and treated. It needs respect! Haha. Ok, enough about Lucy.

Last I have Danielle. Danielle has 2 things working against her- tight curl, and frizz. Usually, they do go hand and hand, as curly hair tends to be much more dry than any other hair, which leads to frizz. I have a few suggestions for Danielle:

Find a stylist that specializes in a hair cutting technique called “Diva Curl” cutting. They are trained specifically for cutting curly hair, which can be tricky, by grouping the hair into “curl families.” They cut according to growth cycles and curl patterns. Hair grows in different cycles, and hair also grows in different patterns. With curly hair, it is essential to cut the same “family of curls” in the same direction bluntly. Point cutting (a technique used often to give hair a more texturized look), does not work on curly hair. Point cutting curly hair will leave the ends looking split, and therefore, more damaged. More damage means more frizz.

They also need to be cut in an uniuniformed fashion because in “curl families,” one section of hair grows in one direction, while another section grows in the opposite. By cutting hair with the direction of the pattern of the curl, you leave the hair with the right amount of volume, paired with the right amount of weight, keeping the hair from looking to “poofy.” I’ve seen curly haired clients leave a salon looking worse than when they came in because the stylist didn’t know what they were doing.

Next, Danielle needs some product, and she needs to use anything other than what she is using now. No man wants to run their hand through a woman’s hair only to feel hard, sticky product and crunchiness. A lot of women tend to deal with their curly hair by going with the old hairsprayed/gel look. You know, the wet, crunchy look that was popular back in the early 90’s… Or never. Taking off my stylist hat for a minute, I get it. I understand why someone with curly hair would give up and want to run in to the closest CVS or Rite Aid and load up on Aquanet and Wet’n Wild. “My curls are uncontrollable, so if I pour this product on like cement, it CAN’T frizz. Right?” Well, it can’t move or breathe either, so, technically, yes. But I’m going with wrong. Here’s why:

1. If the wind’s moving, and your hair isn’t, there’s something wrong.
2. It’s a quick fix. It seems to work in the moment, but the amount of alcohol they put in those products should be illegal. Someone should be arrested for murder because that’s what you’re doing, murdering your hair. Yes, technically it is already dead, but that’s not the point.

Alcohol is a key ingredient used in most hair products because it’s cheap, and it works great at first. It’s a quick fix. Over time, however, it dries up your hair, causing damage, breakage, split ends… And guess what that leads to? More frizz. So basically that product does the exact opposite of what you need it to do. And as I said earlier, curly hair is even more dry than other hair types, so alcohol is the last thing it wants or needs. It needs protein, humectants, essential oils that add nutrients back into the hair, not alcohol that strips the nutrients out of it.

So to Danielle I would say this, find a salon near you that specializes in Diva Curl, and for the love of God, put the Aquanet down. Try some coconut oil, Moroccan oil, a deep conditioning mask once a week. Your hair can be beautiful and curly without looking like cement, and a man will be able to run his fingers through your hair without getting them stuck on a chunk of gel. You, your hair, and the mystery man’s hand will thank me for it.

To end things, I have an “Honorable Mention” award, and it goes to…………Kelly.

Here’s why:

I love Kelly’s hair. The color is perfect for her and fits her personality well. She’s sassy, fun, and outgoing, so her hair color should definitely reflect that. And it complements her skin tone, too.
The only thing I’d change about Kelly’s hair is the length. Her hair is long and gorgeous, but she’s so tiny that she is overpowered by her hair. It takes away from her face and her cute figure. I’d take about 6 inches off, and add a ton of layering throughout.

A woman with a round or square shaped face typically shouldn’t wear a shorter cut, as it would draw more attention to the shape. A longer cut that fringed the face would act as a type of shadowing to make the face appear slimmer. As a stylist, it’s our job to accentuate the good features and deflect from the imperfections. Oval shaped faces are considered to be the most flattering face shape, and Kelly has that- she just needs a cut that promotes it. It’s important to keep a balance between a client’s overall appearance and their hair, and her hair to body ratio is a bit off.

I hope I’ve enlightened you with some knowledge about hair and how it works- why certain styles work for some and not others, but more than that, you can use it as a topic of discussion on your next date. Your date will be thoroughly impressed, or she’ll think you’re “more pervert.”

Have a great day! You’re welcome.

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  1. bazooka

    February 11, 2014 at 11:24 AM

    Clearly Sharleen didn’t want to be there. That’s kind of a d**k move that she kept the rose.

  2. rob22

    February 11, 2014 at 1:30 PM

    I was going to comment on the cretinous dialogue that Juan Paco put out there. But Steve captured the highlights. Juan P’s word comprehension apparently ends with “See Dick Run. Run Dick Run.” Me like your hair. Aye Yi Yi. Girlfirend must dance good. That’s about it. He could have been a star in the Geico Caveman commercials. So easy even Juan Pah-blow can do it.
    One accurate thing that came out of Nikki’s mouth was, I think, from a preview where she calls Clare bat-shizz crazy. The two of them are the only ones that show any real interest in Juan Pedro. There is clearly something wrong with both of them. Definitely this is going to be the most disfunctional couple since Jake & Vienna. Except I don’t think JP is crazy enough to take on Jake’s self absorbed rage-aholic. I think Nikki could give Vienna a run for her money, though, as a scary-crazy Fatal Attraction wannabe…. “I will NOT be ignored!”…. It will give People magazine something to do for a couple of weeks anyway. I don’t see Dancing with the Stars happening this year. I don’t know, maybe JP could become a star in the next Jackass movie. He’s got impressive credentials. More pervert.

  3. jacey

    February 11, 2014 at 2:17 PM

    @bazooka, true, but declining it would only have prolonged the inevitable for a week.

    Pulling my head out of the overwhelming (sand) pile of evidence long enough to say if one didn’t know this was a person in her 30’s, Clare’s interview responses are so lacking in complexity & sound so coached and juvenile, you’d think they’d come from a 13 y/o regurgitating her 1st unchaperoned date. Almost nobody believes that recycled horse s*** because coupled with all the other ‘noise’ coming out of the ‘Bachelor’ machine it continues to create more questions than it answers.

    Clare must have sand in her shoes. How the hell else does she not float away? It seems she’s been given way too much credit. Is she too simpleminded to be manipulative? Could it be that kimono comment wasn’t an aberration? I guess she for real thought (and apparently still thinks based on post show comments) that hollow interaction with The Doofus was “falling in love.” She really is THAT clueless??? Wow! just… Wow!

  4. anonime

    February 11, 2014 at 2:28 PM

    Steve, Who is this hairdresser ranking the girls? Sounds like he or she is very knowledgeable . Where is his or her salon? I will make an appointment. Seriously, I need it!

  5. Athena

    February 11, 2014 at 2:53 PM

    I get it that not many people, including Steve, like Juan Pablo and there are lots of reasons: more pervert being high on my personal list, among others. However, where I don’t agree with many of J.P.’s detractors is the constant criticism of his lack of understanding and use of English as his second language. He might not be the most intelligent “Bachelor” ever to appear on the show, but how do we really know when we don’t get to see him interact in Spanish? I wonder how many of us are fluent in a second language? My prediction: hardly any. Let those who can understand and speak two languages better than he can lead the charge. The rest of us ought to be in awe that he can do as well as he does because it’s waaaayy better than we can do. Mocking a person from a Spanish speaking country for not being as fluent in English as we are verges, IMO, on racism.

  6. iheartvino

    February 11, 2014 at 2:56 PM

    I agree with anonime; awesome tips and analysis on the girls’ hair! I’ve always joked that I’m hair-challenged and usually only wear it a couple of ways because whenever I try to branch out, it doesn’t look good in my opinion. So I was happy to see that a professional in the hair industry shared some of the same thoughts I had on a few of the girls’ hair. Especially Renee’s blah hair, Clare’s perfect color but wrong bangs, Chelsie needing a more mature/shorter style, and Nikki needing some help. Makes me think I’m not as naïve in that dept as I thought I was haha. I need to bookmark today’s column so that next time I want to try something different with my hair I can come back and re-read that section.

    Funny recap today too. I knew Steve was going to have something to say about Juanny P not knowing what “cut to the chase” meant. At least JP didn’t have to try and say “Pediatric” again. That was rough last week.

  7. bostoncpa

    February 11, 2014 at 3:41 PM

    @Athena, I was born in another country (with a Slavic language, so not nearly as similar to English as Spanish is). My parents who moved to the US in their mid/late 20s, their friends, and some of my friends who came at a later age, have a much better command of English than JP does. Some have stronger, some have weaker accents, but they all have much high basic comprehension and intelligence in a conversation. They may not know all the idioms, but they can figure out much more than he does.

  8. bostoncpa

    February 11, 2014 at 3:45 PM

    * higher basic comprehension

    I swear I do too 🙂

  9. angelfish

    February 11, 2014 at 3:53 PM

    He spent 3 years at an American college. Even as the most skilled athlete imaginable, he still had to pass some sort of entrance exam. And yes, while reading and writing English fluently is different than speaking it, I do not believe he “no hablas” half of what he supposedly can’t comprende.

  10. loosetea

    February 11, 2014 at 4:01 PM

    Sharleen is crying because Kat just left with Sharleen’s favorite cocktail dress on (as seen in South Korea I believe) and she is thinking how she’ll probably never see that dress again now. Darn it! Worth the tears. Also, please post the city this wonderfully in-tune hairstylist/writer works at. I would go see her if she was in my town.

  11. barbararap

    February 11, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    This is another vote for the hairdresser. Where are you? Please I desperately need you!

  12. rob22

    February 11, 2014 at 5:15 PM

    The worst thing IMO last night was Clare being all happy that Juan Pah-blow apologized. Uh…. I must have missed the apology. What I heard was a passive attempt to mumble his way out of the situation so he can get into Clare’s pants again in the honeymoon suite…. Or sooner, if possible. Juan Paco obviously considers Clare to be a slut that he would never marry in a million years. But, he did enjoy his little aquatic romp, whatever that was, and would like a return engagement sans the cameras. Basically only Nikki and Clare show any interest in more than just keeping their mugs on TV and enjoying a free vacation. So, I seriously doubt any of the other girls would entertain becoming JPs wad receptor. Poor Clare is just too dumb to realize she’s being setup for the old pump and dump.

  13. bigfatwoman

    February 11, 2014 at 6:34 PM

    I totally agree with the hair stylist’s assessment of Renee’s dull and boring hair. She should also mention Renee’s awful kewpie doll eyelashes — AWFUL !!!!!

    Please make Catherine and Sean go away! I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that these two would sell their honeymoon photos to US Magazine, but the comments about the sex are just too much. I have seen high school kids with more maturity than these two. They are awful in every way.

    @Angelfish— totally agree than Juan Pebbles knows way more English than he lets on. He knows that no comprende wins points. He is the most vapid and dumbest Bachelor yet. Nice guy. Dumb as dumb can be.

  14. js18

    February 11, 2014 at 7:56 PM

    Loved the hair ranking!

  15. nora j

    February 11, 2014 at 10:12 PM

    I actually like Renee’s hair. She has that natural fresh look. I can’t stand Clare’s hair…it only looks good when she has it in a pony tail….too many weird layers and looks like she hair sprayed it or something. She looks 40-something with hair like that..or like she’s about to enter a Miss America pagent from the 90s. I like Andi’s hair also. Andi and Renee are the only two women who have good least in clothing and hair.

  16. megs

    February 12, 2014 at 12:18 AM

    I love Sharleen. Nobody knows what to do with her. I am really curious to find out how she ended up on the show, because I can’t imagine it was the same route as, say, Clare. I can’t help but be stereotypical and say GAWD how Canadian she is!

    Nora j – have you also noticed how Clare’s hair length goes back and forth by about six inches (and twice the volume)? I would think if you’re gonna wear extensions, wear them all the time, otherwise it’s pretty obvious. Unless the ITMs were filmed later after she got a haircut (which I doubt but anything’s possible with this show!).

    Loved the hairdresser’s analysis, though I don’t think Cassandra has the best hair; Sharleen and Andi take the cake for that.

    I agree with the majority, I think he understands/speaks more English than he chooses to let on, playing dumb is just easier for him. Not that I think he’s the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I’ll bet his accent and “no comprende?” has landed him plenty of girls in the past and he knows what works. I thought he was cute at the beginning of Desiree’s season but the more he opens his mouth, the less I can stand him, and at this point I’m only watching to see the crazy hit the fan. The final straw was last week with Clare – as delusional as she may be (or not – editing really can do wonders) – what a prick to eagerly go jump in the ocean at 4 am and then turn around and slut-shame her for it – especially considering I highly doubt anything beyond a heavy makeout session happened. And can someone explain to me how that was different from his date with Andi this week? Because it was “his” (i.e. the producers) idea? Hardly. What a dick.

    As for Nikki vs. Clare – Clare seems to (blindly) truly believe in “the process”, aka the show, whereas I think Nikki just wants to win. She may be a biatch (according to popular opinion, but again, editing works wonders), but she’s definitely not stupid and she’s obviously competitive. It’s a win-win for her – exposure, plus the satisfaction of winning. She certainly doesn’t strike me as someone who is going to get her heart broken, whether she is the “chosen one” at the end or not.

    Sigh. I really hope they choose a good Bachelorette. And I wish Kelly Travis would be brought in as a commentator, because her dry sense of humour was one of the highlights of the season.

  17. megs

    February 12, 2014 at 12:19 AM

    Oops. Sorry for the novel!

  18. serapa

    February 12, 2014 at 6:11 AM

    Rob22, you crack me up haha!

    I like Renee’s hair. I don’t think it looks dumpy at all. Renee is just one of those “au naturel” girls and likes the natural look. Her down to earth nature makes her extremely attractive and a good catch, despite being a mom and in her 30’s.

    Not all men are shallow JP’s.

  19. serapa

    February 12, 2014 at 6:15 AM

    I’m kinda looking forward to seeing the drama unfold. When Clare gets dumped, s**ts gonna hit the fan!!! It is going to be cray cray at it’s best. Poor Clare! I hope she learns from this…too bad America thinks she’s a big “ho ho” now b/c I really don’t think she is.

    Hard to believe that such a beautiful girl with a cute personality is single at age 32. She’s very cute, but she ruins it with her cray cray edge.

  20. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 6:19 AM

    The most likely ghost writer of that hair stylist diatribe is Clare Crawley. Still can’t stop running her mouth. Throwing shade from behind a cloak of anonymity. Kudos! — to those of you who actually sat and read all that. I clicked ahead, saw it was a darn dissertation and moved past it. I’ve never known a good stylist to be hard to find — hard to keep, maybe (they move a lot), but relatively easy to find. Pretty simple. See a look you like ask who did it. If he or she’s not taking on new clients, ask them for a recommendation.

    Read the conference call. Bunch of boxed rambling, but nothing that struck me as “really pissed.” If that’s a sample of what we can expect from WTA (and it probably is), it’s not worth tuning in… zzz

  21. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 6:33 AM

    @Serapa, can’t speak for anyone else, but in my mind she’s not a ho bag, but she seems woefully immature and too easily pliable for a person in their 30’s. Adding to the confusion (for me) she looks 40-ish, so it boggles the mind even more to see how she conducts herself.

  22. serapa

    February 12, 2014 at 6:47 AM

    Jacey, yes I agree. She is stuck in pre-college years. I feel bad for her honestly. She’s just one of those people that gets used easily.

  23. rob22

    February 12, 2014 at 6:50 AM

    Jacey, you’re half right. Girls like Clare are constantly showing their desperation and insecurity. A strong woman would never put up with the way JPah-blow has treated her. They’d be out the door in a NY minute…. and no lame mumbled excuses and hair playing would change that. A REAL apology MAYBE gets you a second and final chance. But Clare is just wanting JuanP so bad that she puts up with him & accepts whatever he says and any tiny bone he might throw her. She would spread her legs in a heartbeat to keep him with her. Does that make her a ho? Your call on that. But guys do not respect women who allow themselves to be used and manipulated. I know, it’s not fair. But, it’s real.

  24. Dianne

    February 12, 2014 at 6:54 AM

    Oh, Athena, chill already! JP is more fluent in English than we’re being led to believe. It’s NOT racism, so get off that wagon right now. Don’t you notice his “accent” gets deeper, and deeper each week?’s a game..and the ABC team are doing their very best to play it to the max. And I am proud to say I am fluent in 2 languages..English and

  25. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 7:22 AM

    To say Clare got used, suggests she’s a victim. It’s how she wants to portray herself to some degree (now), but she was definitely the conductor on that train (wreck). Based on what I’ve seen thus far, I’m guessing there’ll be no huge splash during the final rose. If history’s any indicator, as with last week’s drama, it’ll start with a bang (in the suite) and end with a whimper. Man, I hope I’m wrong. I hope she stops swinging from JP’s balls, grows a pair and let’s him have it. He’ll respect her for it.

  26. serapa

    February 12, 2014 at 7:35 AM

    What REALLY sucks is THAT I was so HOT for Juan Pablo BEFORE the show AIRED. (gratuitous caps)

    Now I find him boring and unappealing…I get Sharleen’s anti climactic remark when she first met JP. I would feel the same.

    He’s still good lucking, but that’s all he is. I wouldn’t “do” him though…not anymore haha…coming from this ol’ cougar….really means something…lol

  27. dicted

    February 12, 2014 at 8:33 AM

    In a previous episode with Sean he loses his heavy accent and sounds more American. His accent and no knowledge of words is bs. He just plays that card as he really has nothing to say. His communication MO is strictly physical probably because he hasn’t grown up yet. He gets off on making a woman cry and then treating her like a child to get her attention back. This JP is exactly the kind of guy you need to avoid. As for trying to be a good example for his daughter, she is doomed if this is what he thinks is a good example. Did anyone else feel like he was more of a stealth sex predator when he led each woman to the bench, didnt listen to a word they said, stroked their hair, then shoved his tongue down their throat. This guy is so far away from healthy father role model that he needs a kick in the pants. No wonder his mother of his child wouldnt marry him. He has no control of himself.

  28. rob22

    February 12, 2014 at 9:04 AM

    Another angle on this whole mess is that Juan Pa-blow is a jock. He was at least good enough to sniff the pros for a while. A lot of those guys grow up to be entitled self absorbed douches. They don’t need a brain, they just need to be good at their sport. So, a lot of them never develop intellectually or emotionally. They get whatever girls they want just by looking their direction & they aren’t really interested in staying around to have a conversation…. “Here’s cab money little lady. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out”. I know that’s one thing that drove me crazy when I played sports. Even as young adults, it was like being around 13 year olds. It gets old pretty fast if you have a brain and don’t think endless fart jokes and teenage pranks are the greatest. Don’t get me wrong, that stuff is funny to us guys…. just not if that’s the only thing they do…. all the time. So, I think JPab fits pretty well into this stereotype. It could explain a lot.

  29. Sunnyside422

    February 12, 2014 at 9:18 AM

    I was one of a minority who was never impressed with Juanny’s looks or personality with Des. I’m doing a happy dance cause I knew he was a dip shit and he has proven it week after week!

    His only response to anything is suck face, grab the women’s faces, neck, hair and silence them. Perhaps this works in his world and some of those dummies are buying it. Ugh.

    It is apparent with each Bachelor, that the intelligence level and looks are heading downhill. Ben was such an ugly, dumb character, Sean a total bore and now we have Juanny who definitely is the dumbest cluck by far. I know intelligent, successful men would never apply to be manipulated and exposed on this show, so we are seeing the bottom feeders season after season. And this will continue.

    Because I find Juanny cringe worthy, spent the first hour reading John Grisham’s new book (love him) and the 2nd hour watching The Following. If it were not for Steve’s recaps, I wouldn’t know the events unfolding. Thanks Steve for your always entertaining blog.

  30. addicted2rs

    February 12, 2014 at 9:29 AM

    It’s shocking how little conversation JP is interested in. The only thing he seems to want is long make out sessions and he looks incredibly bored each time a girl tries to talk to him.

    So lame when he says he thinks his wife is in the room and if Steve is right, he doesn’t propose to Nikki. He couldn’t be more obvious that he is on this show for all the wrong reasons. At least previous Bachelor leads came across like they were there to meet someone for a real relationship.

    Clearly Nikki is in it to “win” and probably won’t want her prize after she sees the public waning in support of JP because he acts like a 10th grade boy. Actually my 10th grade boyfriend was a million times better at conversation and dating than JP – and it has nothing to do with English being a second language.

  31. Athena

    February 12, 2014 at 11:40 AM

    @Dianne, Kudos for being bilingual! I’m definitely not: my 3 years of French taken during high school in the dark ages did not a fluent French-speaker make. I still maintain that there’s a difference between being dull intellectually and not being able to communicate well in your non-primary language. And, I’m not convinced that his “dullness” isn’t, in part, related to the language barrier. Is indiscriminately putting the two together racist? If not, it’s sure close to it.

  32. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 11:44 AM

    Oh, wait… if Clare is final two, then she can’t participate in WTA. Right? Andi will be around, of course, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Sharleen decided to no-show. Unless contractually obligated, why would she bother? I can’t see her having anything to do with the franchise beyond this season.

  33. rob22

    February 12, 2014 at 12:52 PM

    Jacey, remember, Sharleen went on the show…. and not to find her next husband. She WANTS the ATTENTION (random CAPS INTENTIONAL). She could definitely be lured back for more. From what I’ve seen, very few shrink from the criticism post Reality Shows. They bask in their D level stardom as long as possible, even if the press is eating them up. No, Sharleen is not stupid. She’s getting exactly what she wants, and more will be better.

  34. kitt0nmitt0ns

    February 12, 2014 at 1:08 PM

    Did No one else see the major edit snafu where they showed Nikki with a rose before he had called her? Not that it wasn’t obvious she would get one, it just made me laugh that there was such a glaring error.

  35. Athena

    February 12, 2014 at 1:42 PM

    I missed the Nikki-rose snafu, but I did think it was interesting that even before the ceremony, the other women all just assumed she’d get one. Seems like it’s become obvious that she’s a front-runner. From what I’ve read about how other seasons unfold, that tends to happen alot, but they don’t always let us see it. I think with RS spoiling things, ABC figures they might as well go with it.

  36. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 2:17 PM

    You may very well be right @Rob22, but I see a person who is questioning her overall involvement. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her put as much distance between herself and the show as possible. She’s an opera singer. Her absence could be easily explained away.

  37. strike9

    February 12, 2014 at 3:24 PM

    I know most of you love Sharleen, but I just can’t jump on that bandwagon. She seems so manly to me with that extra deep voice of hers. And, she’s so awkward.

    Love the hairdresser’s take! I’d definitely trust her with my hair.

    Also a big fan of Jacey in the comment section. Smartest person to ever comment on this asinine show! Keep the comments coming, Jacey. They’re almost better than the recaps.

    BTW – has anyone else noticed that there’s something weird about the way Clare talks? Like her tongue is too big for her mouth. LOL (I know, ridiculous!).

  38. bigfatwoman

    February 12, 2014 at 3:44 PM

    Totally agree @rob22 regarding Sharleen.

    I don’t buy her above it all bewildered act at all.

    She signed up, interviewed and jumped through all the hoops to be a part of something that anyone with an ounce of awareness knows is a total train wreck!!!

    Of course it’s self serving and of course she’ll ride the wave as long as possible. You don’t see her pulling a Bentley and fading into obscurity? Hell no. She loves the attention.

  39. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 5:33 PM

    Oh wow, @Strike9! Thanks :)) That’s quite a compliment.

    I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as a ‘fan’ of Sharleen’s, and I believe I’ve alluded to her presence on the show being (in my view) opportunistic. She’s awkward and seemed – at least in the beginning – contemptuous of a process for which she volunteered. I have to say, I also don’t get her tears at the end of the rose ceremonies. She’s definitely an enigma — intentional or not.

    @Bigfatwoman & @Rob22, I’m thinking there might be some buyer’s remorse going on with Sharleen. She seems to be not only questioning chemistry with the lunkhead, but her fit within that crowd.

    Regardless of intent, I just don’t see how she leverages any other aspect of the franchise, and I don’t see her ditching it Opera altogether. She’s not charismatic so TV spokesperson is out. I definitely don’t see her becoming involved with Bachelor Pad. Maybe you’re right, but I think she’s ridden the Bachelor train as far she intends to, and definitely did not enjoy the ride.

  40. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 5:57 PM

    @Strike9, totally forgot about the the Clare/tongue observation. Yes! Noticed it… That ‘little girl’ thing she’s been rockin. Found it extremely annoying (and a little creepy). It’s almost like she’s attempting to make herself seem younger by talking like that. She’s not the only one. I watch with the mute and cc on most of the time.

  41. cfizz

    February 12, 2014 at 10:21 PM

    anyone notice how TIRED chris harrison looked? red, saggy, baggy eyes… either that guy was sick or that guy knows how to party and they grabbed him from whatever bar he was hitting up that night. he gets paid $60k per episode, correct?! i need that job.

    on a sidenote – i believe sharlene is sticking it out because producers have told her she must stay around. girl wanted to leave a LONG time ago. i do enjoy her though because she’s insightful and different than the average contestant. well casted… please do more of these.

    another sidenote – hairstylist had WAY to much time on her hands. dang.

  42. bigfatwoman

    February 13, 2014 at 6:34 AM

    My sweet college age daughter sent me Sean Lowe’s ‘I Am Second’ video testimonial that was just published.

    She’s trying to get me to re-consider my disdain for him. I watched the 12 minute video only to walk away with the same, if not worse opinion.

    Poor Sean really felt victimized when the media made him ‘The Virgin Bachelor.’ I’m so glad he was able to recover from that scrutiny and go on DWTS, have his wedding televised, shill for Hydroxycut and sell his wedding photos to US Magazine. Poor thing has really been through a lot.

  43. jacey

    February 13, 2014 at 8:54 AM

    With the possible exceptions of JP & Ashley and Jason & Molly, I assume it’s all BS. The more contrived a situation is, the more time, publicity, and $$ they throw at it.

    Fairly certain the copious and unending coverage S&K receive is overcompensation for something. Nothing feels that forced unless it is. Give it about a year. With a perfectly orchestrated conception and pregnancy (and coverage everywhere but K’s va-j-j) ‘baby’ will make a perfect family (S&K, the kid — and ABC).

    Ducking for cover before I continue..

    I see only one possible carrot producers could dangle before Sharleen with any chance of convincing her to not disassociate herself from a monumental faux pas (going on the show) … Give her the lead next season along with reasonable creative control. I think the awkwardness she displays may be born out of feeling overly coached and from cameras being all up in her Kool-Aid.

    The Juan Pablo’s, Ben’s, Sean’s, and Brad’s, and the producers (thinking it was a good idea to cast them as leads) has diminished the show to sensationalism being its only life line.

    I think casting Sharleen as the lead would inject some legitimacy, elegance, and class back into a production now on life support. Give her 20 guys instead of 25-27 and a voice in picking who makes the cut, and don’t send anyone home the 1st week. Give them a chance to get to know each other. Dispense with the packaged crap and tired clichés. Put the participants in situations where they have a real opportunity to learn about each other. Yammer… Yammer… Yammer.

    Renee (imho) would be a nice choice except they won’t because they’ll judge her not “hot” enough. Kelly’s a long shot, but she’d be great, too. Andi — the one whom I think will be crowned was a good bet in my mind until she took that trip to whiny town and subsequently the expressway to pushover junction. Plus, she seems too “packaged” to me — of the same formula as all the previous leads. I think she’s good if all the show wants is more goat s**t. Hope I’m wrong about her, though. I was in her camp, initially. We’ll see — if’n God willing and the creek don’t rise.

  44. rob22

    February 13, 2014 at 9:02 AM

    BFW: I agree with you about Sean. If he didn’t like being used by the producers, then why did he go on both The Bachelorette and The Bachelor,the DWTS, wedding, etc. Sure the process is scummy, but there can be a lot of perks. In Sean’s case, there were lots of $$$$s involved. The guy doesn’t even need a real job anymore, though the gravy train may be coming to a conclusion. Bottom line: if you’re willing to prostitute yourself for the producer’s purposes, you can make some serious bank & open up some other opportunities in media…. i.e. DWTS, wedding, selling pics, future (probably paid) invites to Bachelor events, etc.

    So Sharleen is up against the same dilemna. She isn’t enjoying her time there, she realizes she’s prostituting herself and she doesn’t like HuanPBlow. But, I’m sure the producers are whispering in her ear that she could be the next Bachelorette, could make some serious bank, could really get her face well known and expand her opera career possibilities.

    It comes down to greed. I’m not being judgemental, I think most of us can and do struggle with the tradeoff of making some bank and doing it in a way that’s kind of disgusting.

  45. rob22

    February 13, 2014 at 9:07 AM

    BTW: I don’t think Sharleen has the type of personaliy to be The Bachelorette. But the same was true of JP-Blow and Desiree. They were hardly Sean or Emily, whom whatever you think about them today, were popular and people were excited they were in the lead role. So, given the recent track record, it doesn’t seem like the producers of the show really care anymore about the lead. They can and have put dead fish in the lead role and still received the desired ratings. And dead fish come cheaper than interesting people with other options.

  46. texan

    February 13, 2014 at 10:39 AM

    “I went down the hill with each of the girls, making sure that all of them had a little bit of time with me” — Maybe my d-bag sensors are already sensitive to him, but this line irked me. Like it’s such a favor to the girls to get to spend time with him, instead of his enjoying their company.

  47. jacey

    February 13, 2014 at 11:27 AM

    I watched the premiere of Emily’s season, found her off-putting and couldn’t stop staring at her Chiclets (veneers). Never tuned in again. Tuned into Sean’s season around the time Katherine began to emerge as a front-runner. Tuned out when he dumped Desiree who was singularly the best match for him. Watched a fair amount of Desiree’s season. She’s with the right guy. Too bad she didn’t see it before the Brook’s drama unfolded on-camera, but awesome she had the good sense to not fold up her tent and go home w/o Chris in tow. Theirs is a wedding I think I’d actually watch. By all appearances (airing, and post-show), she got a great guy — and he got a gem in her, too. Wish them the best.

    I doubt she’ll get it, but if she’s not overly handled, I think Sharleen would make a great lead. Her motivations aside, of the lot; she’s the best option for restoring some semblance of legitimacy of premise to the show. I ain’t mad at her for using the situation to her advantage. It’s reasonably good exposure with trips and s**t. Please. Who wouldn’t take that? Got to give the girl props. She was in that house with 26 other ‘women’ and (unless it got edited out) not once did she read anyone, give side eye, or throw shade. It’s ok, though. I rolled my eyes, sucked my teeth, and turned up my nose enough for everybody.
    The only issue I see with a Sharleen lead is finding the kind of (worldly) men who could go toe-to-toe with her, and actually getting them to go on the show.
    Regarding public image; extremes one way or the other can be profitable. Sharleen (I believe) is a unique case. A negative image would have an adverse impact on her goals — whatever they are. The best the show can do to keep her around (if they want to keep her around) is offer her the lead. I just don’t see her accepting it.

  48. rob22

    February 13, 2014 at 12:24 PM

    jacey, I agree with you about Sean and Emily…. but when their season started, they generated a lot of excitement. Sure, both of them proved to be fame-whores over time…. and the luster is way off both of them now. I’m not saying they’re bad people, but they certainly both milked the process for all it’s worth. Basically,they prostituted themselves. Which is fine. If you’re going to get raked over the coals by the producers, the media and the crazy fans, well, might as well get something out of it, right? But those that thought they were virtuous and perfect sure were in for a rude awakening…. those crazies that RS references from time to time & even thought Jef with one “f” was a great guy…. until it came out that he pulled his special poems off the internet and was bedding down teenagers. At least Emily and Sean never stooped to that level.

  49. karynr

    February 14, 2014 at 7:09 AM

    In all the years I’ve been watching (since Andrew Firestone), this is the first time I can remember looking forward to the FRC when he sends #2 home. I’m by no means a cruel person, but Clare’s reaction should be entertaining. I think he probably chose Nikki because the drama would be a lot less when the break-up happens. In a way, he’s taking the easier way out.

    I think Sharleen is really putting on a show for all of us, knowing exactly how she’s coming across. I don’t think there’s been anyone quite like her on the show before, but I think she planned it that ay. She know’s exactly what she’s doing. I don’t see her as the next Bachelorette. Andi is definitely more their type for the role.

    I’d much rather talk about The Walking Dead, Shameless, Real World Ex-plosion or House of Lies!

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