Reality Steve

The Bachelor 18 - Juan Pablo

The “Bachelor” Juan Pablo Recap Incl When Does the “Women Tell All” Tape & Ranking the Final 8 Girls – By Hair

-The group date is up on us, and it just so happens to land on Cassandra’s 22nd birthday, something she has now made known to us twice this episode, which basically was them letting you know what an awful day it’d end up being for her. As they are sitting in a group together with him, Cassandra even points out that the wind is blowing sideways, which means something bad is gonna happen. Man, they couldn’t have served this one up any more on a platter for us, could they? Even if you didn’t read the spoilers you HAD to have seen where this was headed for Cassandra, right? The date card said “Let love roll” so the women are introduced to zorbing. They get in a giant rubber ball, called an “ogo,” and roll down a hill. Basically looked like something we saw on “Double Dare” back in the day. When were all of them gonna have to jump through a maze of chocolate to capture a red flag? Or that giant peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Mmmmmmm….peanut butter and jelly sandwich. My weakness. I went to the store on Friday and bought a box of Uncrustables. They are all gone after last night. Say what you want, but whoever invented Uncrustables is the greatest human being alive.

-Yet another activity on the date where absolutely zero conversation happened. Sure, you’re cooped up in a ball rolling down the hill so I don’t expect these people to be conversing about the ramifications of Benghazi or anything, but I think it’s become pretty obvious they’ve put Juan Pablo in as many situations as possible where he has to do the smallest amount of talking and interacting with the girls. Why? Because he doesn’t know how, that’s why. Somehow rolling down a hill, he was able to make out with Nikki twice in the big boy bubble. And she let it be known to us she got to make out with him twice. I think basically each girl got her turn with Juan Pablo, rolling around in a wet ball which made things all that much more uncomfortable for us watching at home. A very silly date, but I guess fun for those involved. As long as we don’t have to hear him talk, I think we’re all good. Although, I was hoping at some point Juan Pablo would get in one of those ogo’s by himself, take off down the hill, and somehow it’d veer off track, never stop rolling and fall off the face of the earth. You know, because the earth is flat and all. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, so ABC’s favor to Peter Jackson must’ve paid off since the night portion of the date took place at Hobbiton.

-I’ll be honest, I’ve never seen any of the “Lord of the Rings” movies, so I didn’t give two sh**s where their late night after party was at. Sharleen practically climaxed over it, which basically told us how much of a nerf herder she is. Oh Sharleen. My image of you is totally blown now. Do you have a Bilbo Baggins doll too? Did you name your pet Gollum? (Hey, I googled it. Leave me alone). However, I’m sure all the LOTR geeks were watching this after party with the sound and their pants down, so good for them. He pulled Renee out first (something her ex probably should’ve done with her) because he didn’t talk to her today. Did you talk to anybody today, Juan Pablo? Do you talk at all? Your go to moves seem to be: 1) Tell each girl they’re “great” 2) Brush their hair behind their ear when they’re talking to show you’re not paying attention and/or don’t comprehend a damn thing and 3) when all else fails, just make out with them. Renee: “You don’t look at me and Cassandra like we have baggage.” Gee, I would hope not. That’s the best thing you can think of to say about the guy? Oh wait, there’s this. “I would love to kiss Juan Pablo for the rest of my life. Where I’m at with him now is where I’ve been with ex’s after 6-8 months.” Oh geez, Renee. Just stop it. Seriously. You’re making yourself sound completely ridiculous and desperate. What producer conned you in to uttering that line? A very quick a simple message for you, just like I had for Andi earlier this column: Shut up.

-Nikki wants to tell Juan Pablo how she feels and where she’s at. She’s not very good with feelings so this could be a good moment for her. She doesn’t really go into why she’s not very good with feelings and what not, but my guess is that it could have to do with the fact she’s a giant bitch. But hey, that’s just me. Deep breath. Whew. Here it goes. Big moment for Nikki tonight. “I feel like I’m totally falling for you.” And with that, she basically just gave Juan Pablo the go ahead for him to tongue rape her. Which he does. He might’ve dropped in a couple “you’re greats” and “you’re so pretty’s,” but for the most part, that was a straight tongue mugging at its finest. She said nice things to him, he made out with her. Pretty much how it works with the guy. The next thing of substance he says this season will be the first. So hey everyone who lauded the choice of Juan Pablo back in September, how’s the hot, Latin guy seem to you now? Yeah, that’s pretty much what I thought.

-Oh yes, my favorite is up next. Sharleen. Favorite in that she’s the biggest enigma this show has ever seen. You’ll never believe this, but before Sharleen steps outside with him, she’s questioning how she feels about him…for the 6th consecutive episode. As you saw, they sit down on the bench, and before she can get one complete sentence out of her mouth, he pounces on her like a 9th grade me behind the bleachers at the first football game with my girlfriend. I will never forget it. And neither will she. We were playing Lakewood High School. I met her at the game. We went under the bleachers and made out for four quarters. I sh** you not. And to get from the bleachers to the concession stand, people had to walk by us, and all I heard were people commenting. Didn’t stop me. I was on a mission. A 4 quarter make out. I was unstoppable. Basically, that was Juan Pablo last night. One of these girls could’ve told him they had cervical cancer, and he still would’ve made out with them. Not because he wouldn’t care, but because he doesn’t know any better. Nor would he probably even know what cervical cancer is. Sharleen: “You just cut right to the chase, don’t you?” Juan Pablo: “What does that mean?” Bhahahahahahahahahahaha. He truly is a Grade A imbecile. Sharleen makes it known that their relationship feels “inorganic.” So does that mean it’s gluten free as well? I was praying he’d ask what “inorganic” meant just so I could see a human head explode on television.

-Inside, they were celebrating Cassandra’s birthday. Well, sort of. I think they were jumping and giggling about it, while Kat danced in her seat. Cassandra is really excited about getting alone time with Juan Pablo tonight because she needs to have a little deeper conversation with him. Honey, that’s physically impossible. The only time you can use “deep” and “Juan Pablo” in the same sentence is describing if his tongue can actually reach the uvula in your throat and box with it. Cassandra: “I want to dig deep with Juan Pablo and talk about things that matter.” Does anything matter with him? This should be a riveting conversation. So she opens up to him about Trey, and about how everything is always about him, and that she doesn’t date much, and that she respects him being a dad, and…and…and…here he goes fiddling with her hair and pushing it behind her ear. She tells him this and really his only response is to push her hair behind her ear, which basically means, “I don’t have a f***ing clue what to say to you right now. Wanna make out?” Thankfully she spares herself and the rest of us the embarrassment and they don’t kiss. That was a close. We were almost subjected to him making out with a third consecutive girl in a matter of probably 30 minutes real time. Bob Guiney thinks that’s a bit much.

-After Cassandra returns from her time with him, Renee is in her ITM’s saying Cassandra really deserves the rose on this group date because she misses her son. Let me tell you how that went. Since producers already knew he was giving his rose to Sharleen, they call Renee into an ITM and say, “Tell us why you think Cassandra should get a rose tonight?” And she did, which helps them tell their story of seeing Cassandra at her ultimate high after she leaves the conversation, to the ultimate low when she doesn’t get her rose and he gives it to Sharleen for nothing other than making her tongue available to him on a moment’s notice. He then pulls Cassandra outside. Why? To go for a late night swim? Maybe another picnic? Oh wait, Nikki knows why. “He’s probably telling her Happy Birthday.” Uhhhh yeah, that’s it genius. Nope, it’s to tell her to pack her sh**, he’s done with her. “You’re gorgeous, funny, so nice…I wish we were in the same chapter.” Same chapter? You all aren’t even reading the same book. She’s reading “Thomas the Train” to Trey and Juan Pablo’s reading some Venezuelan skin rag. He says he doesn’t want her to wait 2 more days to see her son, soooooo, see ya’ wouldn’t want to be ya’. And off goes Cassandra with the best birthday present she’s ever received. Whether or not you believe Juan Pablo didn’t know it was her birthday is subject to debate. Chris Harrison defended him in his blog today saying he didn’t know. Juan Pablo also tweeted last night he didn’t know. And since I basically don’t believe pretty much anything I see on this show, I’ll say he did know and didn’t care.

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  1. bazooka

    February 11, 2014 at 11:24 AM

    Clearly Sharleen didn’t want to be there. That’s kind of a d**k move that she kept the rose.

  2. rob22

    February 11, 2014 at 1:30 PM

    I was going to comment on the cretinous dialogue that Juan Paco put out there. But Steve captured the highlights. Juan P’s word comprehension apparently ends with “See Dick Run. Run Dick Run.” Me like your hair. Aye Yi Yi. Girlfirend must dance good. That’s about it. He could have been a star in the Geico Caveman commercials. So easy even Juan Pah-blow can do it.
    One accurate thing that came out of Nikki’s mouth was, I think, from a preview where she calls Clare bat-shizz crazy. The two of them are the only ones that show any real interest in Juan Pedro. There is clearly something wrong with both of them. Definitely this is going to be the most disfunctional couple since Jake & Vienna. Except I don’t think JP is crazy enough to take on Jake’s self absorbed rage-aholic. I think Nikki could give Vienna a run for her money, though, as a scary-crazy Fatal Attraction wannabe…. “I will NOT be ignored!”…. It will give People magazine something to do for a couple of weeks anyway. I don’t see Dancing with the Stars happening this year. I don’t know, maybe JP could become a star in the next Jackass movie. He’s got impressive credentials. More pervert.

  3. jacey

    February 11, 2014 at 2:17 PM

    @bazooka, true, but declining it would only have prolonged the inevitable for a week.

    Pulling my head out of the overwhelming (sand) pile of evidence long enough to say if one didn’t know this was a person in her 30’s, Clare’s interview responses are so lacking in complexity & sound so coached and juvenile, you’d think they’d come from a 13 y/o regurgitating her 1st unchaperoned date. Almost nobody believes that recycled horse s*** because coupled with all the other ‘noise’ coming out of the ‘Bachelor’ machine it continues to create more questions than it answers.

    Clare must have sand in her shoes. How the hell else does she not float away? It seems she’s been given way too much credit. Is she too simpleminded to be manipulative? Could it be that kimono comment wasn’t an aberration? I guess she for real thought (and apparently still thinks based on post show comments) that hollow interaction with The Doofus was “falling in love.” She really is THAT clueless??? Wow! just… Wow!

  4. anonime

    February 11, 2014 at 2:28 PM

    Steve, Who is this hairdresser ranking the girls? Sounds like he or she is very knowledgeable . Where is his or her salon? I will make an appointment. Seriously, I need it!

  5. Athena

    February 11, 2014 at 2:53 PM

    I get it that not many people, including Steve, like Juan Pablo and there are lots of reasons: more pervert being high on my personal list, among others. However, where I don’t agree with many of J.P.’s detractors is the constant criticism of his lack of understanding and use of English as his second language. He might not be the most intelligent “Bachelor” ever to appear on the show, but how do we really know when we don’t get to see him interact in Spanish? I wonder how many of us are fluent in a second language? My prediction: hardly any. Let those who can understand and speak two languages better than he can lead the charge. The rest of us ought to be in awe that he can do as well as he does because it’s waaaayy better than we can do. Mocking a person from a Spanish speaking country for not being as fluent in English as we are verges, IMO, on racism.

  6. iheartvino

    February 11, 2014 at 2:56 PM

    I agree with anonime; awesome tips and analysis on the girls’ hair! I’ve always joked that I’m hair-challenged and usually only wear it a couple of ways because whenever I try to branch out, it doesn’t look good in my opinion. So I was happy to see that a professional in the hair industry shared some of the same thoughts I had on a few of the girls’ hair. Especially Renee’s blah hair, Clare’s perfect color but wrong bangs, Chelsie needing a more mature/shorter style, and Nikki needing some help. Makes me think I’m not as naïve in that dept as I thought I was haha. I need to bookmark today’s column so that next time I want to try something different with my hair I can come back and re-read that section.

    Funny recap today too. I knew Steve was going to have something to say about Juanny P not knowing what “cut to the chase” meant. At least JP didn’t have to try and say “Pediatric” again. That was rough last week.

  7. bostoncpa

    February 11, 2014 at 3:41 PM

    @Athena, I was born in another country (with a Slavic language, so not nearly as similar to English as Spanish is). My parents who moved to the US in their mid/late 20s, their friends, and some of my friends who came at a later age, have a much better command of English than JP does. Some have stronger, some have weaker accents, but they all have much high basic comprehension and intelligence in a conversation. They may not know all the idioms, but they can figure out much more than he does.

  8. bostoncpa

    February 11, 2014 at 3:45 PM

    * higher basic comprehension

    I swear I do too 🙂

  9. angelfish

    February 11, 2014 at 3:53 PM

    He spent 3 years at an American college. Even as the most skilled athlete imaginable, he still had to pass some sort of entrance exam. And yes, while reading and writing English fluently is different than speaking it, I do not believe he “no hablas” half of what he supposedly can’t comprende.

  10. loosetea

    February 11, 2014 at 4:01 PM

    Sharleen is crying because Kat just left with Sharleen’s favorite cocktail dress on (as seen in South Korea I believe) and she is thinking how she’ll probably never see that dress again now. Darn it! Worth the tears. Also, please post the city this wonderfully in-tune hairstylist/writer works at. I would go see her if she was in my town.

  11. barbararap

    February 11, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    This is another vote for the hairdresser. Where are you? Please I desperately need you!

  12. rob22

    February 11, 2014 at 5:15 PM

    The worst thing IMO last night was Clare being all happy that Juan Pah-blow apologized. Uh…. I must have missed the apology. What I heard was a passive attempt to mumble his way out of the situation so he can get into Clare’s pants again in the honeymoon suite…. Or sooner, if possible. Juan Paco obviously considers Clare to be a slut that he would never marry in a million years. But, he did enjoy his little aquatic romp, whatever that was, and would like a return engagement sans the cameras. Basically only Nikki and Clare show any interest in more than just keeping their mugs on TV and enjoying a free vacation. So, I seriously doubt any of the other girls would entertain becoming JPs wad receptor. Poor Clare is just too dumb to realize she’s being setup for the old pump and dump.

  13. bigfatwoman

    February 11, 2014 at 6:34 PM

    I totally agree with the hair stylist’s assessment of Renee’s dull and boring hair. She should also mention Renee’s awful kewpie doll eyelashes — AWFUL !!!!!

    Please make Catherine and Sean go away! I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that these two would sell their honeymoon photos to US Magazine, but the comments about the sex are just too much. I have seen high school kids with more maturity than these two. They are awful in every way.

    @Angelfish— totally agree than Juan Pebbles knows way more English than he lets on. He knows that no comprende wins points. He is the most vapid and dumbest Bachelor yet. Nice guy. Dumb as dumb can be.

  14. js18

    February 11, 2014 at 7:56 PM

    Loved the hair ranking!

  15. nora j

    February 11, 2014 at 10:12 PM

    I actually like Renee’s hair. She has that natural fresh look. I can’t stand Clare’s hair…it only looks good when she has it in a pony tail….too many weird layers and looks like she hair sprayed it or something. She looks 40-something with hair like that..or like she’s about to enter a Miss America pagent from the 90s. I like Andi’s hair also. Andi and Renee are the only two women who have good least in clothing and hair.

  16. megs

    February 12, 2014 at 12:18 AM

    I love Sharleen. Nobody knows what to do with her. I am really curious to find out how she ended up on the show, because I can’t imagine it was the same route as, say, Clare. I can’t help but be stereotypical and say GAWD how Canadian she is!

    Nora j – have you also noticed how Clare’s hair length goes back and forth by about six inches (and twice the volume)? I would think if you’re gonna wear extensions, wear them all the time, otherwise it’s pretty obvious. Unless the ITMs were filmed later after she got a haircut (which I doubt but anything’s possible with this show!).

    Loved the hairdresser’s analysis, though I don’t think Cassandra has the best hair; Sharleen and Andi take the cake for that.

    I agree with the majority, I think he understands/speaks more English than he chooses to let on, playing dumb is just easier for him. Not that I think he’s the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I’ll bet his accent and “no comprende?” has landed him plenty of girls in the past and he knows what works. I thought he was cute at the beginning of Desiree’s season but the more he opens his mouth, the less I can stand him, and at this point I’m only watching to see the crazy hit the fan. The final straw was last week with Clare – as delusional as she may be (or not – editing really can do wonders) – what a prick to eagerly go jump in the ocean at 4 am and then turn around and slut-shame her for it – especially considering I highly doubt anything beyond a heavy makeout session happened. And can someone explain to me how that was different from his date with Andi this week? Because it was “his” (i.e. the producers) idea? Hardly. What a dick.

    As for Nikki vs. Clare – Clare seems to (blindly) truly believe in “the process”, aka the show, whereas I think Nikki just wants to win. She may be a biatch (according to popular opinion, but again, editing works wonders), but she’s definitely not stupid and she’s obviously competitive. It’s a win-win for her – exposure, plus the satisfaction of winning. She certainly doesn’t strike me as someone who is going to get her heart broken, whether she is the “chosen one” at the end or not.

    Sigh. I really hope they choose a good Bachelorette. And I wish Kelly Travis would be brought in as a commentator, because her dry sense of humour was one of the highlights of the season.

  17. megs

    February 12, 2014 at 12:19 AM

    Oops. Sorry for the novel!

  18. serapa

    February 12, 2014 at 6:11 AM

    Rob22, you crack me up haha!

    I like Renee’s hair. I don’t think it looks dumpy at all. Renee is just one of those “au naturel” girls and likes the natural look. Her down to earth nature makes her extremely attractive and a good catch, despite being a mom and in her 30’s.

    Not all men are shallow JP’s.

  19. serapa

    February 12, 2014 at 6:15 AM

    I’m kinda looking forward to seeing the drama unfold. When Clare gets dumped, s**ts gonna hit the fan!!! It is going to be cray cray at it’s best. Poor Clare! I hope she learns from this…too bad America thinks she’s a big “ho ho” now b/c I really don’t think she is.

    Hard to believe that such a beautiful girl with a cute personality is single at age 32. She’s very cute, but she ruins it with her cray cray edge.

  20. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 6:19 AM

    The most likely ghost writer of that hair stylist diatribe is Clare Crawley. Still can’t stop running her mouth. Throwing shade from behind a cloak of anonymity. Kudos! — to those of you who actually sat and read all that. I clicked ahead, saw it was a darn dissertation and moved past it. I’ve never known a good stylist to be hard to find — hard to keep, maybe (they move a lot), but relatively easy to find. Pretty simple. See a look you like ask who did it. If he or she’s not taking on new clients, ask them for a recommendation.

    Read the conference call. Bunch of boxed rambling, but nothing that struck me as “really pissed.” If that’s a sample of what we can expect from WTA (and it probably is), it’s not worth tuning in… zzz

  21. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 6:33 AM

    @Serapa, can’t speak for anyone else, but in my mind she’s not a ho bag, but she seems woefully immature and too easily pliable for a person in their 30’s. Adding to the confusion (for me) she looks 40-ish, so it boggles the mind even more to see how she conducts herself.

  22. serapa

    February 12, 2014 at 6:47 AM

    Jacey, yes I agree. She is stuck in pre-college years. I feel bad for her honestly. She’s just one of those people that gets used easily.

  23. rob22

    February 12, 2014 at 6:50 AM

    Jacey, you’re half right. Girls like Clare are constantly showing their desperation and insecurity. A strong woman would never put up with the way JPah-blow has treated her. They’d be out the door in a NY minute…. and no lame mumbled excuses and hair playing would change that. A REAL apology MAYBE gets you a second and final chance. But Clare is just wanting JuanP so bad that she puts up with him & accepts whatever he says and any tiny bone he might throw her. She would spread her legs in a heartbeat to keep him with her. Does that make her a ho? Your call on that. But guys do not respect women who allow themselves to be used and manipulated. I know, it’s not fair. But, it’s real.

  24. Dianne

    February 12, 2014 at 6:54 AM

    Oh, Athena, chill already! JP is more fluent in English than we’re being led to believe. It’s NOT racism, so get off that wagon right now. Don’t you notice his “accent” gets deeper, and deeper each week?’s a game..and the ABC team are doing their very best to play it to the max. And I am proud to say I am fluent in 2 languages..English and

  25. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 7:22 AM

    To say Clare got used, suggests she’s a victim. It’s how she wants to portray herself to some degree (now), but she was definitely the conductor on that train (wreck). Based on what I’ve seen thus far, I’m guessing there’ll be no huge splash during the final rose. If history’s any indicator, as with last week’s drama, it’ll start with a bang (in the suite) and end with a whimper. Man, I hope I’m wrong. I hope she stops swinging from JP’s balls, grows a pair and let’s him have it. He’ll respect her for it.

  26. serapa

    February 12, 2014 at 7:35 AM

    What REALLY sucks is THAT I was so HOT for Juan Pablo BEFORE the show AIRED. (gratuitous caps)

    Now I find him boring and unappealing…I get Sharleen’s anti climactic remark when she first met JP. I would feel the same.

    He’s still good lucking, but that’s all he is. I wouldn’t “do” him though…not anymore haha…coming from this ol’ cougar….really means something…lol

  27. dicted

    February 12, 2014 at 8:33 AM

    In a previous episode with Sean he loses his heavy accent and sounds more American. His accent and no knowledge of words is bs. He just plays that card as he really has nothing to say. His communication MO is strictly physical probably because he hasn’t grown up yet. He gets off on making a woman cry and then treating her like a child to get her attention back. This JP is exactly the kind of guy you need to avoid. As for trying to be a good example for his daughter, she is doomed if this is what he thinks is a good example. Did anyone else feel like he was more of a stealth sex predator when he led each woman to the bench, didnt listen to a word they said, stroked their hair, then shoved his tongue down their throat. This guy is so far away from healthy father role model that he needs a kick in the pants. No wonder his mother of his child wouldnt marry him. He has no control of himself.

  28. rob22

    February 12, 2014 at 9:04 AM

    Another angle on this whole mess is that Juan Pa-blow is a jock. He was at least good enough to sniff the pros for a while. A lot of those guys grow up to be entitled self absorbed douches. They don’t need a brain, they just need to be good at their sport. So, a lot of them never develop intellectually or emotionally. They get whatever girls they want just by looking their direction & they aren’t really interested in staying around to have a conversation…. “Here’s cab money little lady. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out”. I know that’s one thing that drove me crazy when I played sports. Even as young adults, it was like being around 13 year olds. It gets old pretty fast if you have a brain and don’t think endless fart jokes and teenage pranks are the greatest. Don’t get me wrong, that stuff is funny to us guys…. just not if that’s the only thing they do…. all the time. So, I think JPab fits pretty well into this stereotype. It could explain a lot.

  29. Sunnyside422

    February 12, 2014 at 9:18 AM

    I was one of a minority who was never impressed with Juanny’s looks or personality with Des. I’m doing a happy dance cause I knew he was a dip shit and he has proven it week after week!

    His only response to anything is suck face, grab the women’s faces, neck, hair and silence them. Perhaps this works in his world and some of those dummies are buying it. Ugh.

    It is apparent with each Bachelor, that the intelligence level and looks are heading downhill. Ben was such an ugly, dumb character, Sean a total bore and now we have Juanny who definitely is the dumbest cluck by far. I know intelligent, successful men would never apply to be manipulated and exposed on this show, so we are seeing the bottom feeders season after season. And this will continue.

    Because I find Juanny cringe worthy, spent the first hour reading John Grisham’s new book (love him) and the 2nd hour watching The Following. If it were not for Steve’s recaps, I wouldn’t know the events unfolding. Thanks Steve for your always entertaining blog.

  30. addicted2rs

    February 12, 2014 at 9:29 AM

    It’s shocking how little conversation JP is interested in. The only thing he seems to want is long make out sessions and he looks incredibly bored each time a girl tries to talk to him.

    So lame when he says he thinks his wife is in the room and if Steve is right, he doesn’t propose to Nikki. He couldn’t be more obvious that he is on this show for all the wrong reasons. At least previous Bachelor leads came across like they were there to meet someone for a real relationship.

    Clearly Nikki is in it to “win” and probably won’t want her prize after she sees the public waning in support of JP because he acts like a 10th grade boy. Actually my 10th grade boyfriend was a million times better at conversation and dating than JP – and it has nothing to do with English being a second language.

  31. Athena

    February 12, 2014 at 11:40 AM

    @Dianne, Kudos for being bilingual! I’m definitely not: my 3 years of French taken during high school in the dark ages did not a fluent French-speaker make. I still maintain that there’s a difference between being dull intellectually and not being able to communicate well in your non-primary language. And, I’m not convinced that his “dullness” isn’t, in part, related to the language barrier. Is indiscriminately putting the two together racist? If not, it’s sure close to it.

  32. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 11:44 AM

    Oh, wait… if Clare is final two, then she can’t participate in WTA. Right? Andi will be around, of course, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Sharleen decided to no-show. Unless contractually obligated, why would she bother? I can’t see her having anything to do with the franchise beyond this season.

  33. rob22

    February 12, 2014 at 12:52 PM

    Jacey, remember, Sharleen went on the show…. and not to find her next husband. She WANTS the ATTENTION (random CAPS INTENTIONAL). She could definitely be lured back for more. From what I’ve seen, very few shrink from the criticism post Reality Shows. They bask in their D level stardom as long as possible, even if the press is eating them up. No, Sharleen is not stupid. She’s getting exactly what she wants, and more will be better.

  34. kitt0nmitt0ns

    February 12, 2014 at 1:08 PM

    Did No one else see the major edit snafu where they showed Nikki with a rose before he had called her? Not that it wasn’t obvious she would get one, it just made me laugh that there was such a glaring error.

  35. Athena

    February 12, 2014 at 1:42 PM

    I missed the Nikki-rose snafu, but I did think it was interesting that even before the ceremony, the other women all just assumed she’d get one. Seems like it’s become obvious that she’s a front-runner. From what I’ve read about how other seasons unfold, that tends to happen alot, but they don’t always let us see it. I think with RS spoiling things, ABC figures they might as well go with it.

  36. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 2:17 PM

    You may very well be right @Rob22, but I see a person who is questioning her overall involvement. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her put as much distance between herself and the show as possible. She’s an opera singer. Her absence could be easily explained away.

  37. strike9

    February 12, 2014 at 3:24 PM

    I know most of you love Sharleen, but I just can’t jump on that bandwagon. She seems so manly to me with that extra deep voice of hers. And, she’s so awkward.

    Love the hairdresser’s take! I’d definitely trust her with my hair.

    Also a big fan of Jacey in the comment section. Smartest person to ever comment on this asinine show! Keep the comments coming, Jacey. They’re almost better than the recaps.

    BTW – has anyone else noticed that there’s something weird about the way Clare talks? Like her tongue is too big for her mouth. LOL (I know, ridiculous!).

  38. bigfatwoman

    February 12, 2014 at 3:44 PM

    Totally agree @rob22 regarding Sharleen.

    I don’t buy her above it all bewildered act at all.

    She signed up, interviewed and jumped through all the hoops to be a part of something that anyone with an ounce of awareness knows is a total train wreck!!!

    Of course it’s self serving and of course she’ll ride the wave as long as possible. You don’t see her pulling a Bentley and fading into obscurity? Hell no. She loves the attention.

  39. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 5:33 PM

    Oh wow, @Strike9! Thanks :)) That’s quite a compliment.

    I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as a ‘fan’ of Sharleen’s, and I believe I’ve alluded to her presence on the show being (in my view) opportunistic. She’s awkward and seemed – at least in the beginning – contemptuous of a process for which she volunteered. I have to say, I also don’t get her tears at the end of the rose ceremonies. She’s definitely an enigma — intentional or not.

    @Bigfatwoman & @Rob22, I’m thinking there might be some buyer’s remorse going on with Sharleen. She seems to be not only questioning chemistry with the lunkhead, but her fit within that crowd.

    Regardless of intent, I just don’t see how she leverages any other aspect of the franchise, and I don’t see her ditching it Opera altogether. She’s not charismatic so TV spokesperson is out. I definitely don’t see her becoming involved with Bachelor Pad. Maybe you’re right, but I think she’s ridden the Bachelor train as far she intends to, and definitely did not enjoy the ride.

  40. jacey

    February 12, 2014 at 5:57 PM

    @Strike9, totally forgot about the the Clare/tongue observation. Yes! Noticed it… That ‘little girl’ thing she’s been rockin. Found it extremely annoying (and a little creepy). It’s almost like she’s attempting to make herself seem younger by talking like that. She’s not the only one. I watch with the mute and cc on most of the time.

  41. cfizz

    February 12, 2014 at 10:21 PM

    anyone notice how TIRED chris harrison looked? red, saggy, baggy eyes… either that guy was sick or that guy knows how to party and they grabbed him from whatever bar he was hitting up that night. he gets paid $60k per episode, correct?! i need that job.

    on a sidenote – i believe sharlene is sticking it out because producers have told her she must stay around. girl wanted to leave a LONG time ago. i do enjoy her though because she’s insightful and different than the average contestant. well casted… please do more of these.

    another sidenote – hairstylist had WAY to much time on her hands. dang.

  42. bigfatwoman

    February 13, 2014 at 6:34 AM

    My sweet college age daughter sent me Sean Lowe’s ‘I Am Second’ video testimonial that was just published.

    She’s trying to get me to re-consider my disdain for him. I watched the 12 minute video only to walk away with the same, if not worse opinion.

    Poor Sean really felt victimized when the media made him ‘The Virgin Bachelor.’ I’m so glad he was able to recover from that scrutiny and go on DWTS, have his wedding televised, shill for Hydroxycut and sell his wedding photos to US Magazine. Poor thing has really been through a lot.

  43. jacey

    February 13, 2014 at 8:54 AM

    With the possible exceptions of JP & Ashley and Jason & Molly, I assume it’s all BS. The more contrived a situation is, the more time, publicity, and $$ they throw at it.

    Fairly certain the copious and unending coverage S&K receive is overcompensation for something. Nothing feels that forced unless it is. Give it about a year. With a perfectly orchestrated conception and pregnancy (and coverage everywhere but K’s va-j-j) ‘baby’ will make a perfect family (S&K, the kid — and ABC).

    Ducking for cover before I continue..

    I see only one possible carrot producers could dangle before Sharleen with any chance of convincing her to not disassociate herself from a monumental faux pas (going on the show) … Give her the lead next season along with reasonable creative control. I think the awkwardness she displays may be born out of feeling overly coached and from cameras being all up in her Kool-Aid.

    The Juan Pablo’s, Ben’s, Sean’s, and Brad’s, and the producers (thinking it was a good idea to cast them as leads) has diminished the show to sensationalism being its only life line.

    I think casting Sharleen as the lead would inject some legitimacy, elegance, and class back into a production now on life support. Give her 20 guys instead of 25-27 and a voice in picking who makes the cut, and don’t send anyone home the 1st week. Give them a chance to get to know each other. Dispense with the packaged crap and tired clichés. Put the participants in situations where they have a real opportunity to learn about each other. Yammer… Yammer… Yammer.

    Renee (imho) would be a nice choice except they won’t because they’ll judge her not “hot” enough. Kelly’s a long shot, but she’d be great, too. Andi — the one whom I think will be crowned was a good bet in my mind until she took that trip to whiny town and subsequently the expressway to pushover junction. Plus, she seems too “packaged” to me — of the same formula as all the previous leads. I think she’s good if all the show wants is more goat s**t. Hope I’m wrong about her, though. I was in her camp, initially. We’ll see — if’n God willing and the creek don’t rise.

  44. rob22

    February 13, 2014 at 9:02 AM

    BFW: I agree with you about Sean. If he didn’t like being used by the producers, then why did he go on both The Bachelorette and The Bachelor,the DWTS, wedding, etc. Sure the process is scummy, but there can be a lot of perks. In Sean’s case, there were lots of $$$$s involved. The guy doesn’t even need a real job anymore, though the gravy train may be coming to a conclusion. Bottom line: if you’re willing to prostitute yourself for the producer’s purposes, you can make some serious bank & open up some other opportunities in media…. i.e. DWTS, wedding, selling pics, future (probably paid) invites to Bachelor events, etc.

    So Sharleen is up against the same dilemna. She isn’t enjoying her time there, she realizes she’s prostituting herself and she doesn’t like HuanPBlow. But, I’m sure the producers are whispering in her ear that she could be the next Bachelorette, could make some serious bank, could really get her face well known and expand her opera career possibilities.

    It comes down to greed. I’m not being judgemental, I think most of us can and do struggle with the tradeoff of making some bank and doing it in a way that’s kind of disgusting.

  45. rob22

    February 13, 2014 at 9:07 AM

    BTW: I don’t think Sharleen has the type of personaliy to be The Bachelorette. But the same was true of JP-Blow and Desiree. They were hardly Sean or Emily, whom whatever you think about them today, were popular and people were excited they were in the lead role. So, given the recent track record, it doesn’t seem like the producers of the show really care anymore about the lead. They can and have put dead fish in the lead role and still received the desired ratings. And dead fish come cheaper than interesting people with other options.

  46. texan

    February 13, 2014 at 10:39 AM

    “I went down the hill with each of the girls, making sure that all of them had a little bit of time with me” — Maybe my d-bag sensors are already sensitive to him, but this line irked me. Like it’s such a favor to the girls to get to spend time with him, instead of his enjoying their company.

  47. jacey

    February 13, 2014 at 11:27 AM

    I watched the premiere of Emily’s season, found her off-putting and couldn’t stop staring at her Chiclets (veneers). Never tuned in again. Tuned into Sean’s season around the time Katherine began to emerge as a front-runner. Tuned out when he dumped Desiree who was singularly the best match for him. Watched a fair amount of Desiree’s season. She’s with the right guy. Too bad she didn’t see it before the Brook’s drama unfolded on-camera, but awesome she had the good sense to not fold up her tent and go home w/o Chris in tow. Theirs is a wedding I think I’d actually watch. By all appearances (airing, and post-show), she got a great guy — and he got a gem in her, too. Wish them the best.

    I doubt she’ll get it, but if she’s not overly handled, I think Sharleen would make a great lead. Her motivations aside, of the lot; she’s the best option for restoring some semblance of legitimacy of premise to the show. I ain’t mad at her for using the situation to her advantage. It’s reasonably good exposure with trips and s**t. Please. Who wouldn’t take that? Got to give the girl props. She was in that house with 26 other ‘women’ and (unless it got edited out) not once did she read anyone, give side eye, or throw shade. It’s ok, though. I rolled my eyes, sucked my teeth, and turned up my nose enough for everybody.
    The only issue I see with a Sharleen lead is finding the kind of (worldly) men who could go toe-to-toe with her, and actually getting them to go on the show.
    Regarding public image; extremes one way or the other can be profitable. Sharleen (I believe) is a unique case. A negative image would have an adverse impact on her goals — whatever they are. The best the show can do to keep her around (if they want to keep her around) is offer her the lead. I just don’t see her accepting it.

  48. rob22

    February 13, 2014 at 12:24 PM

    jacey, I agree with you about Sean and Emily…. but when their season started, they generated a lot of excitement. Sure, both of them proved to be fame-whores over time…. and the luster is way off both of them now. I’m not saying they’re bad people, but they certainly both milked the process for all it’s worth. Basically,they prostituted themselves. Which is fine. If you’re going to get raked over the coals by the producers, the media and the crazy fans, well, might as well get something out of it, right? But those that thought they were virtuous and perfect sure were in for a rude awakening…. those crazies that RS references from time to time & even thought Jef with one “f” was a great guy…. until it came out that he pulled his special poems off the internet and was bedding down teenagers. At least Emily and Sean never stooped to that level.

  49. karynr

    February 14, 2014 at 7:09 AM

    In all the years I’ve been watching (since Andrew Firestone), this is the first time I can remember looking forward to the FRC when he sends #2 home. I’m by no means a cruel person, but Clare’s reaction should be entertaining. I think he probably chose Nikki because the drama would be a lot less when the break-up happens. In a way, he’s taking the easier way out.

    I think Sharleen is really putting on a show for all of us, knowing exactly how she’s coming across. I don’t think there’s been anyone quite like her on the show before, but I think she planned it that ay. She know’s exactly what she’s doing. I don’t see her as the next Bachelorette. Andi is definitely more their type for the role.

    I’d much rather talk about The Walking Dead, Shameless, Real World Ex-plosion or House of Lies!

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