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“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” & The Release of the “Bachelor in Paradise” Cast – Kind Of

Geez Ali repeated every word of what you wrote in your column today on E NEWS! She said “they should have showed more of an montage about Eric and less about defending why Andi let him go. I have no clue why she is on E NEWS. She always repeats exactly what you write in your column. How she ever got that job is beyond me. She can’t even speak in her normal voice most of the time and comes across as an idiot….

Comment: I didn’t see it, so I can’t speak on to what she said. Different strokes for different folks. I don’t watch E! News so I have no idea if she’s any good or not.
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Hey Steve,

I wanted to give you the heads up that Angie Layton from Survivor: Philippines (aka cookies?) is competing in Miss USA this weekend. She’s Miss Utah! I know you watch Survivor and I seem to remember you live tweeting about Miss USA or Miss America before.

Comment: I did not know until I read your email. Thank you. And thank you for informing me that the pageant is this Sunday. Outside of the “Bachelor” franchise, Miss USA and Miss America are the only other two shows a year that I live tweet, so I better get ready for Sunday night. Those are always ripe to make fun of.
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Hi Steve!

Long time reader, writing in from Okinawa, Japan. (You can add that to your list of countries with fans, although I’m not sure that it counts since we are a military family from Texas….)

Just wondering if you knew who Eric’s closest friends were in the house? Were the final 4 who were left when they found out about his death his closest buddies? It seemed as though Josh didn’t tweet anything out after Episode 4 aired while others did.

Thanks for all your hard work!

Comment: Can I just first start off by saying I’m sorry that Sato destroyed your village before Daniel talked some sense into him? (Sorry. Someone says Okinawa to me, I immediately think “Karate Kid 2.” And yes I’m aware it wasn’t actually filmed there).

Not sure who Eric’s closest friends were, but I’m pretty sure Patrick was at his funeral, so he’s definitely one of them.
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Steve- I’ve googled this with no luck. Why has ABC failed to show any footage of Andi and Marquel in intimate moments? My hunch is that they urged Andi to keep him but she hasn’t kissed him– or if she has… ABC is reluctant to air it. Why? It’s 2014. Get outta the Dark Age.

Comment: I can’t say whether or not Andi has kissed Marquel because I don’t know. My guess is she hasn’t, because this show would like nothing more than to show that if it happened.
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Do the lower numbers worry you? Do they correlate with your web traffic?

Is a bachelor in Paradise not decided yet as far as the point of the show because it was poorly planned, or they just don’t want any word of it out yet as far as your sources, so they’re keeping it close to their chest?

Comment: No. And actually if you take away the Memorial Day episode (which is expected to have a lower audience), and the Sunday night episode, this past Monday delivered very good numbers for them, and better numbers than Des’ season. My readership doesn’t seem to fluctuate with the TV ratings. It’s solid season in and season out.

“Bachelor in Paradise” is being kept under wraps for as long as they can. However, it doesn’t start til August 4th. I’m sure you will have your spoilers before you see that first episode as you do every season.
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Hey Steve,

1. Did Nick V. also propose to Andi on the final day? Or did she let him go early like Emily did with Arie? If the video of him on the plane is any indication, I do not think he proposed. But I don’t know for sure. I just know she definitely didn’t pick him and he finished 2nd.

2. You think Drew Kenney would have been the Bachelor if Juan Pablo wouldn’t have done it? It’s possible.

3. Do you think they will ever go back to “Bachelor Pad” if “Bachelor in Paradise” doesn’t draw the numbers they want to? That’s possible too. I wouldn’t rule it out.
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Hi Steve!

Love your spoilers and commentary- you make this show 10x more fun to watch.

A couple of questions:

1) Can you elaborate on what you think Andi may be planning to do in lieu of being an attorney? I’m sure she’ll take any TV/modeling opportunities that come her way. I just don’t know what those are.

2) Andi seems to have grown quiet amid the backlash. Any insight into how she’s reacting/planning to win back the audience? There’s plenty of the audience that’s fine with her, so I don’t think she really needs to try and win people back.

3) Have you heard any updates on Andi and Josh (i.e. meet-ups in Atlanta, etc)? I rarely hear about the safe house visits (well, except last season with JP & Nikki), but yes they are still together and engaged.

Hey Steve, happy belated birthday!
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I have a few non-Andi’s season related questions for you. Hope you can get to them, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

In your opinion, which of the recent leads (ie: Brad’s second season onwards – excluding Jason for obvious reasons) had the most difficult time choosing between their F2?
Do you think any of the other leads considered “pulling a Jason” and dumping their F1 for F2. That I don’t know. I don’t think it’s as difficult as some might think though.

Finally, just for a little silly fun, who would you have picked if you were the Bachelor on the following seasons:

Jason’s season: Melissa/Molly/Jillian/Naomi Molly.
Jake’s season: Vienna/Tenley/Gia/Ali Gia
Brad’s season: Emily/Chantal/Ashley/Shawntel Ashley
Ben’s season: Courtney/Lindzi/Nicki/Kacie Courtney
Sean’s season: Catherine/Lindsay/Ashlee/Desiree Lindsay
Juan Pablo’s season: Nikki/Clare/Andi/Renee Clare

Thanks and take care!
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Hi Steve! This might be sent too late to make it into Thursdays column but thought I’d send it anyway.

Two minor questions, I thought in the spoilers for this season that Andi cancelled a cocktail party/rose ceremony? I thought it was when Eric went home but maybe not because they said there was a rose ceremony they just didn’t air? The cocktail party was cancelled in CT, not the rose ceremony.

Second question is on “bachelor in paradise” you mentioned in the podcast something about Jesse Kovacs prob hooking up with multiple girls. But he wasn’t on your list of confirmed contestants was he? Is he now definitely a contestant? He wasn’t on the list I put out last Tuesday, no. But he will be on it.

I’ll end with the obligatory “great job I love reading your columns and your sense of humor.” Because I do. 🙂
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Thank you for always giving us the deleted scenes or at least talking about them. When they edit out scenes (i.e the Cody prank – who by the way reminds me of a Macklemore on steroids) things don’t make sense or connect. So thanks for tying the prank to something that was deleted. I also enjoy you pointing out the awkward things that occur during the dates, it cracks me up. Like when Andi and JJ were on the carousel trying to kiss, LOL!

One thing my friends and I joke about every season are the lead or contestant complains/meltdowns of being exhausted, or saying ” this is just so hard”. They knew what they were getting themselves into! And come on….really, you’re sooooo exhausted from being on a free trip around the country/world making out with dudes all while getting paid? Its kind of insulting to people in the real world who are truly exhausted from working, having a family etc.I know the show is all about the drama, but this is so obnoxious! Yes, you travel around on their dime, but you really get no sleep and are constantly talking non stop all day every day about your feelings. I can imagine that gets old after a while and you probably are pretty exhausted.

My question for you is : Do you think Andi will cash in all the DWTS gig, free wedding and other reality/tv jobs OR will she go back to her lawyer gig AFTER the season is over? Just wondering what your thoughts are. She’s not going back to her legal job, and I highly doubt she’ll do DWTS. Billy Dee Williams has better rhythm than Andi. I think she’ll just wait for whatever opportunities come about and decide from there, but she’s not really that interested in getting back into law from everything I’m hearing.

Loved reading through all the responses to Eric. Your blog is outstanding.
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Hi Steve! Long time reader here. My friend and I were discussing the Andrew/waitress situation and I said that Andrew must have been flirting with her if she gave him her phone number.My friend said he could be doing some “harmless flirting”(flirting with no chance of a hook-up). While I agree that women are guilty of this I don’t think that men do. If they flirt,it’s because they want some tail,if not, they don’t bother. What do you think? We could use a male perspective.Keep up the great work and take care.

Comment: Every situation is different. You flirt because you have interest in someone. You never know what that interest will lead to unless you pursue further. Sure, I think eventually most guys flirt because they want to see where it goes, but then again, I’m assuming that’s why a woman flirts back. It’s because she’s interested. You can’t categorize it as “all” or “none.” Every person is different.
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Hey RS,

I know you don’t care for message boards but I HAD to shar this with you. There’s a message board out there that does nothing but talk about you, and for the most part, they trash you constantly. Seems like a lot of jealousy and sour grapes that you spoil and ruin what they do for a “hobby.” But there’s one person on there that posts non stop about how they think the video of Nick was staged. I had to cut and paste what they wrote last night because it’s so obvious their life goal is hope you’re wrong, so they try and get as any people to believe there side. It’s hilarious. This is what they wrote:

“My attitude about the video… and I am staying out of the debate here since it has been talked to death… is that it is inconclusive “maybe” evidence. Steve Boy is assuming an awful lot from a minimal of dialogue. Yeah, it could be “proof”. We will know one way or the other at the end of the season.

NOW… I did add it to a listing I had pages back covering the “pros” and “cons” for each contestant. It is a “con” listed for Nick, Marcus and Chris and a “pro” for Josh. I was trying to be As Fair As Possible with those considering this video is the Holy Grail.

Why do I consider it inconclusive? Well… a lot of itty bitty things bug me about it. Maybe nothing that would bother those who are 99% sold on it, but these things do give ME pause…

1.) We do not hear the questions being asked on the phone.

2.) The video is split in two with parts missing from the conversation.

3.) Josh is mentioned by name only once. Is every use of “he” Josh? Or somebody else?

4.) Father Hy visited the guys at Meet & Greet. Last season, Nikki met Juan’s family before hometowns. Why is Steve so certain any mention of “her” family (and, mind you, Andi is not named here… just female pronouns) 100% guarantees that even Nick made final two?

5.) Why is Steve ssssoooo certain there are no twists, no people “boomeranging” back after elimination, F3 dumpees being held over and all other possibilities that this season may not necessarily be a copycat of past seasons?

6.) If Josh is F1, why would Nick be concerned whether or not he says s***? What s*** would a F1 have to keep secret? Other than what chick-a-boom-boom action he is enjoying in the Safe House.

7.) If Josh will do whatever “she” wants… and we are only speculating “she” is Andi and not Cassie, Amy, Mommy Murray or some other female… what is it? Allowing her to handcuff him to the bed post? Have a “platonic” relationship for the media? I understand all he does is eat, sleep and s***… and yes, she must allow him to do that too. Yet does any of this conversation make sense?

8.) Why does Nick want to just hang out at K-Mart with Andi in “real life”? Is he serious? Was he even in love with the woman at all on the show? Or did he just want to win and have a “showmance”?

9.) On screen, he and Josh appear quite friendly. I still suspect Nick is discussing two guys and all he mentions is that Josh won’t say s*** and expose anything that shouldn’t be exposed.

10.) How do we know Nick didn’t take a vacation post-show and just the timing is a coincidence?

Granted, I can’t see the “@Warner Horizon MMXIV” stamp on it, but… *chuckle chuckle*”

Who has the kind of time to write about this? And this wasn’t the only thing they’ve written in regards to the video. All they do all day long is try and disprove anything you write. It’s really sad. Just wondering your opinion on this. Please rip this person so bad. I’d love it!!! They are such idiots over there for constantly talking about you, yet, they post all your spoilers.

Thanks for all you do. You’re the best!

Comment: I don’t care. Whoever this person is they have no idea what they’re talking about and clearly are unaware of what I know and how I know it. They also have way too much time on their hands. The video is legit, every date, rose, and elimination is right this season, and Andi is engaged to Josh. Let them dissect it all they want. Waste of energy. Really is amazing how badly people want me to be wrong. They’ll see on July 28th.
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Hi Steve,

Since Eric basically eliminated himself before the rose ceremony, who did he save from going home with Tasos?

Also another cool thing about Eric that I didnt see mentioned was that he had that conversation with Andi before the rose ceremony to see if he should leave, probably thinking about the guys that wanted to stay and trying not to take a spot from someone.
I think the “y’alls” are worse than the “stop it”..my husband and I cringe everytime she says it!

Comment: No idea who would’ve went home instead, but since Marquel, Patrick, and Andrew are gone next episode, I’m assuming one of them would’ve been moved up to this past episode.
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Hi Steve,

Will Josh/JJ or anyone else ever go to Andi about Andrew getting a phone number from a waitress? If not, why not? Drew and Kasey couldn’t wait to go to Des last season when the guys simply talked about meeting girls in the future when Andrew is already attempting to land girls now. I would assume as much as this show likes drama, producers would be urging these guys to go to Andi about this.

Thanks for all your work. Your spoilers and recaps are amazing, as always.

Comment: I don’t know if she ever finds out actually. Next week’s “fight” between Marquel and Andrew I believe stems from Andrew making some comment about Marquel still being there because he’s black. Something along those lines. I mean, Andrew certainly has a way with words, but it’s some reference along those lines that Marquel isn’t happy about.
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During the taping of the show did Andi know that Josh was the brother of he GA quarterback?

Comment: Yes. At what point I’m not exactly sure, but I’d be surprised if she didn’t know on the first night.
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I know you’ve been asked about the Prince Harry dating show, so here’s a quick synopsis. It’s the Reality Steve version of the Bachelor. You’ve previously said that you wished Bachelor producers would take themselves less seriously, and that’s exactly what Ryan Seacrest does with this show. None of the contestants get a good edit, including Jake Pavelka’s ex-girlfriend that replaced Vienna. The show has the designated drunk girl and the cattiness that comes with it. Oh, and the sets are hilarious. Seacrest spared no expense when he bought out Party City. The “palace” even has a room for the girl that get’s the one-on-one date, which looks like Maddie ate a Barbie dream house and then had explosive diarrhea. I’m sure the royal family has confetti in the pool and Christmas lights draped around all their cheap lawn furniture and fake topiaries. Not to mention that the string of triangle flags used to dress up the picnic date. It was a nice touch when they brought in circus performers on the first episode-I wonder if they perform at all the royal functions. I think the show does a fine job of mocking reality tv dating.

Completely unrelated, but did you see the first 10 minutes of Little Women: LA? Six dwarf women learning seductive stripper moves, now that’s good television!

I noticed the commercials are gone. I didn’t mind them, but I just wanted to say that it’s nice that you listen to your readers. I’m sure they were profitable, but the whining from your readers was a bit obnoxious.

Comment: Still haven’t watched “I Wanna Marry Harry” and doubt I will. Just not interested anymore, and judging by the ratings, neither is anyone else.

No. Have not seen “Little Women: LA” and, yet again, doubt I will.

The video ad is still there. It just doesn’t pop up for everyone. I’d be an idiot to take that thing down.

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11 Comments

11 Comments

  1. bigfatwoman

    June 5, 2014 at 10:03 AM

    To the person who commented about Andi’s lack of inquiry to Dylan mentioning his brother’s funeral — it was spoken about on the train under the context of relationships and Dylan shared that his long time girlfriend broke up with him right after his brother’s funeral.

    You’d think most people would then ask more questions, as in, “your brother died?” but Andi remained mum. Not sure if this was editing or not but I too noticed it and I too thought it was strange.

    Sean Lowe’s wife Catherine does indeed have a stationery line that consists of paper products and chotchkes with cutesy, quippy one-liners imprinted. It is very much reflective of her cutesy and quippy juvenile personality. How do I know this? Sometimes when I’m in the mood to get annoyed, I inflict pain on myself and look at her twitter.

  2. purplesunsets

    June 5, 2014 at 10:06 AM

    I just saw this tweeted out. Funny and ouch. If you wondered why Nick didn’t like Josh this added to it. Did anyone notice this?

    Coach_Osborne:
    #tbt goes to @viallnicholas28 and his ability to take one for the team. Hopefully the twins are still… http://instagram.com/p/o3URIdEwou/

  3. sara100

    June 5, 2014 at 11:09 AM

    My account has finally been approved, after a long drawn out background check, so I have a few questions from Sunday and Monday’s episodes.

    First, on the Connecticut train date, wasn’t that weird when they got up to leave after dinner, and their plates were still completely full of food, like they didn’t eat anything?

    And another thing, I noticed Andi said something about “4 weeks,” even though the filming had only been going on for 2 weeks. I know it was the 4th episode, but do the producers think the audience is so dumb as to need each show to correspond to exactly one week of reality? Do you think Andi actually said “4 weeks,” or do you think that was dubbed in? That would certainly be confusing and weird to have to be forced to talk about time differently.

  4. rob22

    June 5, 2014 at 11:58 AM

    I’m going to comment on the email from the woman with the husband who gained weight. I don’t agree entrely with RS’s response. This woman didn’t date the guy, marry him, and THEN he stopped working out and gained weight. She dated him for 13 years, and about 10 years ago when he went to college & stopped playing sports, THEN he stopped working out & gained weight….. for the next 10 years of their dating. Her nagging was unsuccessful over the past 10 years to get him to change. So, RS suggests to nag him harder now that they are married?? Nope. Won’t work.

    This whole come-to-Jesus conversations should have been had 10 years ago, or at least before they got married. This falls under the heading of silly woman thinking that either “if he loves me, he will change for me” or “once we get married, I’ll change him”. This woman could have either (1) broken it off long before getting married or (2) accepted the situation, especially given the fact that she had been dating a fatter version of her boyfriend for 10 YEARS!!

    I realize she could now choose to have the “come to Jesus” meeting with him. But now she’s upped the ante & it’s become a “workout & lose weight or I’ll divorce you” discussion. Not good. BTW: how many of you women out there would endorse the ultimatum RS recommended if the roles were reversed? What if the guy suddenly decided he couldn’t live with a wife that had gained 20 pounds? I think the ladies would be having Steve’s head in that case.

    I’m not saying looks aren’t important. Just that this woman had ample opportunity during a LONG period of dating to address this issue. Shame on her for not doing so. She allowed this issue to get far worse than it needed to. She could have dumped this guy, found a hard body triathlete and had three kids by now if she’d addressed this issue appropriately.

  5. sarcasm

    June 5, 2014 at 8:22 PM

    For the lesbian that’s considering a life-altering decision, my co-worker had gender reassignment surgery 15 years ago and she is still the subject of whispers. It was probably the best thing for her, but she now faces a cruel world.

    Do you identify yourself as a man? There are plenty of lesbians that are masculine but don’t consider surgery. You said that the surgery would make relationships with women easier, but I assure you that it’s not as simple as you think. People that have surgery often identify themselves as transgender because you need a partner that understands the complexities of your situation. Just like plastic surgery, the reassignment can’t address the emotional and mental aspects of your situation.
    That being said, I know that the process begins with a psychological evaluation and hormone therapy. I would reach out to your local LGBT organizations for professional help, they will be able to guide you through the process or offer you someone that can help you talk through your struggle.

  6. kasey31

    June 7, 2014 at 2:40 AM

    @Rob22- I’m really sorry for the situation you’re in. And to have to read it on a public site that you love and frequent so often? Must be awful. But maybe that’s why she wrote to RS, just knowing that you’d see it… I’m sorry you found out this way, but hey! At least you won’t have to hear her “nag” anymore.

    Sounds like this one reeeeeally hit home for you. I’m in my early 30’s as well, I’m an avid runner, cross country, just like the author, and I don’t do it for any other reason than bc it makes me feel good and it’s healthy- but I can tell you this much- Her “nagging” was far more likely an attempt to gently motivate him considering the fact that she certainly does not come across as the type of woman looking to hurt her husband’s feelings. I’m sure through the years she has tried “nagging” approaches like, “Hey, babe, do you wanna go on a jog with me this morning/tonight?” “We should try going for a walk once a week. It’d be nice to spend the time with you, and it’d be good for us, too.” <— "us," so that she isn't insinuating it's all about him. She obviously loves her husband and isn't asking him to be a "hard body"?

    I don't know what a "Come to Jesus" situation is or what it refers to, but the fact that she has taken the time to write to RS and ask his opinion, as a man, how to approach him shows a great amount of love on her part. She never once said in her email that she was upping the ante by forcing him into some sort of ultimatum. And you do realize that gaining 30lbs in a time span of 12 years is about 2.5lbs a year, right? "Honey, I've noticed this year you seemed to have gained 2.5lbs, I'm concerned for your health." Shame on her? Shame on her for what? He's 29! He's not 80, their lives are just beginning.

    I applaud her for requiring more out of her husband and wanting more for her health and his. Why would this be any different than asking someone you love to quit smoking or drinking? They are all unhealthy, and when you love someone, you want them to be healthy and live a long life with you.

    Maybe you've never been truly loved by someone in your life, I don't know, but there are dozens of other things that factor into "dumping someone's ass" than weight and looks. It's very possible to be attracted to and love someone who isn't a hard body and find them attractive for a number of reasons. She's young, she's only 30, and she's trying to nip this in the bud now, so what you're saying makes no logical sense to me at all.

  7. Athena

    June 7, 2014 at 5:56 AM

    Interesting comments from both of you (Rob and kasey). I agree with kasey that the writer isn’t in any way saying that this is a do or die issue, but is something that challenges her behaviors and beliefs regarding health and fitness a LOT. Rob is right that she knew going in that the two of them didn’t see things the same way about this and it’s not really fair of her to make such a big deal about it now when she married him knowing this about him. I have a couple of reactions: First of all, maybe the weight issue isn’t the real issue, and maybe she is unhappy with other, more fundamental things about the relationship that she’s not willing/able to address directly. But, that’s just a hypothesis and might be completely off base. Secondly, it’s really easy, and I speak from personal experience, to want to manage, and sometime micromanage, another person’s life when it’s our own we should be focusing on. Hello co-dependency. Finally, the issue, IMO, isn’t really about weight, or even health, per se, but something more fundamentally different in their individual value systems that’s at the root of the conflict. For example, diferences on their values regarding present vs future, doing vs being, etc., that is getting in the way for her. I believe that our customs reflect our beliefs which reflect our values, the latter of which are really hard to identify and verbalize, but which are really the cornerstone of our identities. Basically, Steve’s advice about having a sit-down talk is right on. Whether they can get to the heart of these differences will be a challenge, but if they can, it could help them move beyond it in a way that they can both hopefully tolerate.

  8. rob22

    June 7, 2014 at 2:19 PM

    Kasey, a little harsh, don’t you think. You know nothing about me. I used to run lots of races including triathlons, halfs, and various bike races. Enjoy it while you can. Age has a way of taking that from most of us. Injuries just pile up. I was also lucky that my wife and I were able to do it together for a long time. But now it’s walks and hitting the gym…. Which is fine…. But not near as much fun as racing.

    My issue was not around her being upset about his weight gain. Almost none of us wants fat, unhealthy spouses. It was around the fact that she dated this guy for more than 10 years, so she knew who he was. He never pretended anything. He doesn’t like to workout and isn’t going to. Nagging him, or suggesting things to him will change nothing.

    Let’s change the vice. What if her husband was a smoker. If he smoked during the 10+ years they dated, is it reasonable to expect that, once married, he’d suddenly be open to suggestions to quit? Or, is it more likely that he’s made it clear that he likes to smoke and is planning on continuing?

    Bottom line, he is who he is. If she couldn’t accept it, she shouldn’t have married him. It’s extremely silly to marry someone who has consistently behaved in a certain manner and then think somehow “suggestions” are going to change anything. They didn’t work in the past, so what suggests that they’ll work now? I know that the female brain believes that she can change him. Not gonna happen. That’s the part I found so outrageously silly, not the fact that she doesn’t want a fat, lazy husband. My wife and I have always felt the same way, so guess what? We married active people…. Not couch potatoes. What’s so hard to understand about that?

  9. amyrn22

    June 8, 2014 at 6:22 AM

    Rob- how interesting how much you claim to know about my story, seeing as you completely read my email to Steve wrong, don’t know me, my husband, or our relationship, and basically were wrong and stupid in every comment you just made. My husband has very gradually put on weight. As I said to Steve, he’s not obese. I married him because he is the love of my life and I would NEVER have a “come to Jesus” with him about this. NEVER would I divorce him over such a stupid, vain issue. I simply wanted Steve’s perspective (a guy’s perspective) on how to gently nudge my husband into a healthier lifestyle. We’re getting older, and it’s important to be healthy. I’m a nurse, and I know that more than anyone. I don’t want to come across as a nag, or mean, or a bitch. Hence, why I’m writing to Steve. I never should have married him? Are you kidding? So you’re telling me that we can love our spouses unconditionally but can’t have any issues with some of their bad habits? This isn’t a make or break our marriage issue. @Kasey, you nailed it with your response. Everything you said was right and true, and I really appreciate someone understanding my perspective and why I reached out to Steve. I don’t yell and scream and nag my husband. I was looking for advice to get him moving a bit more without hurting his feelings. Sorry to make myself un-anonymous with my letter, but Rob you are so off that i had to say something. And you sure sound like this is a touchy subject for you.

  10. rob22

    June 8, 2014 at 10:21 AM

    OK, well I just gave another opinion. I do understand that you want your husband to be healthy and attractive. Who doesn’t? You can suggest away…. Nicely or otherwise. No, it’s not a small issue, and I agree with that. There are a number of issues that I wish my wife would change. But I have chosen to accept them, because she is who she is. My suggesting to her doesn’t change anything, and only causes conflict… And opens up her criticism of my faults…. And guess what ? I have more than a few, as you may have surmised. Anyway, maybe I’m totally wrong. Maybe a sit down with him will change everything. So, go for it. If it doesn’t, what are you going to do then? Keep suggesting, or accept that we don’t really have any control of what our spouses, or anyone else, does in their lives?

    I do realize my responses came across overly strong. So, you do have my sincere apology for my lack of tact in my comments.

  11. kasey31

    June 9, 2014 at 3:57 PM

    Rob- Seriously, nice apology there. I think bc the majority of his Dr RS emails are so seemingly childish and immature, we mix up those emails from the few like these who are truly just looking for a response, not to be judged. And maybe it’s a girl thing, but I felt it was genuine and speaking from her heart.
    Touché with my cigarette analogy, by the way.
    I thought I had you there.

    Amym- You’re welcome! You seem like a very sweet, loving wife and I’m sure you will use the right words to talk to your husband about it, and I truly hope he takes it to heart.. When expressing some concern is coming from a place of love, it is felt by the person on the receiving end, even if they don’t necessarily like what you’re saying, And anyway, it’s difficult to get offended by the fact that he has a wife who loves him so much, she wants to spend as many days together as possible in the future.

    I agree with RS and Athena, talking to him about your concerns and why you’re concerned is the best route. In the end, you could essentially add another 10 years on to his life… Good luck!

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