-Before we get started on this group date, I want to show you an email I’ve been holding on to for the last month or so. I knew this was the episode I was gonna show it, and it’s along the lines of what I’m talking about when I say you can’t take everything you see on social media at face value. Especially when it comes to spoilers. This email came to me on May 11th, shortly after I posted the episode-by-episode spoilers. It reads:
I’m sure you don’t care, or maybe you’ve already seen this, but this was a picture of JJ in Italy that someone tweeted out on Saturday, April 5th. It shows him by himself talking to producers. Did you see this photo?
I was reading your episode-by-episode spoilers and you say that JJ was on the group date in Italy for the lie detector date. How can he be on the group date if there’s a clear picture of him on a 1-on-1? I think you may be wrong on this one.
Ahhhhh, social media. Gotta love it. And trust me, this wasn’t the only email I received on it since I gave out the spoilers. I’d say at least once a week I got questioned along the lines of, “Are you sure JJ didn’t get a 1-on-1 in Italy,” all surfacing from this picture. Silly kids. On the surface, does it look like someone took a picture of JJ on a 1-on-1 date being pulled aside for his ITM? Yes, it does. But that’s obviously not what happened. I found out a little while later but decided to hold onto it until this episode just so I could bring out this email. The guys arrived in Italy on Saturday, April 5th. Immediately that’s when Nick had his 1-on-1. The guys checked into the hotel on the 5th, and you can see what JJ was wearing:
The same exact thing he was wearing in that ITM shot that same day: blue hoodie, and multi colored scarf. It’s the only part of the episode where we see JJ in the blue hoodie and multi colored scarf. So basically, on an “off day” (at least for JJ since his group date wasn’t until the next day on Sunday the 6th), they still shoot guys ITM’s. Now, the picture of JJ shooting his ITM I don’t believe was ever used last night, but there’s plenty of footage never used. Just wanted to point this out to show that just because you see something on Twitter or social media, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s exactly what it seems. This picture seemed like JJ was on a 1-on-1. He wasn’t. Hell, this picture wasn’t even taken on a day that JJ had a date. Thank you class. There will be a test on this tomorrow.
-The lie detector test for the guys is up next. Now, there was so much choppy editing during this scene, to match guys up to who answered what to what question is pointless. Nobody knows for sure who answered what question and it what order, because this scene was so chopped up. The fact that we saw Dylan answer “no” to the question, “Do you wash your hands after leaving the bathroom” makes me think that was a complete edit. They wanted to pinpoint Dylan giving a stupid answer, so they show him saying no right after the interrogator asks it. So basically, I’m not gonna comment on any of these answers the guys gave because I’m sure it was edited to make it look one way when it really wasn’t. I can also tell you that after the lie detector test, when Dylan talked to Andi and said he wasn’t feeling good and had to leave, it had nothing to do with feeling upset because of any answers he gave. Please. Dylan was in the hospital that night running a high fever, so he was legitimately sick. Hence the reason he left after the test and we never saw him again until the cocktail party two days later. So yeah, if they’re gonna edit his exit that day to make you think he felt sick because of an answer he gave, I tend to think he never answered “no” to the washing your hands after the bathroom question.
-As for the questions they showed the interrogator asking Andi, really? I’m sure she got more than four, but boy were those dumb questions.
1) What’s your favorite country in the world?
2) Are all the guys here for the right reasons?
3) Are you falling in love?
4) Is your husband here?
Dumb. How about asking the good hard hitting questions? You know, like:
1) Was this thing over essentially after night one when you saw Josh walk through the door?
2) Did they offer you the “Bachelorette” gig if you put on that performance in St. Lucia with Juan Pablo?
3) Are you ever gonna cover up the girls this season?
4) Were you stone cold drunk the night that Eric called you out in Connecticut?
Now those are the questions I would’ve much rather have heard her answers to. Your favorite country in the world? Please. No one cares.
-Regardless, the interrogator who sounded much more Russian than he did Italian, says the results are in. And they’ve all tested positive for the herp. Kidding. He says three men told no lies. Two men told two lies. And one man told three lies. Also, Andi told two lies. The guys open up her results and she apparently lied about her favorite country, and were all the men there for the right reasons. Andi debates whether or not to read the guys’ results because she feels like it would look bad on her if she did, since it’d seem like she didn’t trust them. And three guys are basically sweating through their shorts that she doesn’t read them since they lied. Uh huh. Liar liar pants on fire. I’m gonna guess that JJ lied about having never worn a regular pair of jeans. Marcus lied about having any semblance of a personality. And Dylan lied about the amount of lube he puts in his hair every morning. Those are my guesses and I’m sticking to them. I dare you to prove me wrong.
-At the cocktail party, it’s evident that Andi is tired of being covered up, so she lets the girls come out and play that night with a top that’s basically cut in the front so you can pretty much see all the way down to her naval. Most women would call this getting dressed to the nine’s. Andi calls it Tuesday. Brian steals her away first and wants to give her his own lie detector test. Please Brian. No sports questions. If it’s not about UGA, LSU, or the SEC, I’m guessing Andi doesn’t know sh** about sports. He has her put her hand on his wrist, and his heart, you know, so she can feel a pulse. I’m sure he would’ve liked to have her reach and grab his junk, but that’s been hard since the Connecticut basketball date, so they wouldn’t have gotten anywhere. I don’t remember what she asked him and I don’t care. When he turned the tables on her to ask her questions, for some reason Brian with no game, decided not to put his hand on her wrist and heart. But judging from that top she had on, Brian putting his hand anywhere near Andi’s heart probably would’ve resulted in an NC-17 rating for last night’s show. It basically would’ve been what you see on Skinemax at 3:00am. So I’m told.
-Marcus’ turn to fawn all over a girl he barely knows. Marcus: “Never been in this situation before.” We know, because there’s been 10 previous seasons and you haven’t been a contestant on any of them. But I digress. Marcus tells her he was really thinking about leaving earlier in the season before he even had his 1-on-1 in Connecticut. Andi is taken aback by this because God forbid any person would ever ask to leave this show early, especially one of her guys. Ummmmm, it happens EVERY season. Most people want to leave before they actually do. It’s just a matter of if producers can figure out a storyline behind it if they allow you to. Marcus then tells her he had a talk with the guys, and he’s there because he believes in them and “I’m in love with you.” Awwwww, how sweet. Apparently Marcus just throws around the L word like it’s going out of business. He told Andi this on April 6th, yet within a week of moving in to “Bachelor in Paradise,” he’s all up in Lacy’s bizness. So yeah, Marcus just saying things he thinks she wants to hear. Probably a good idea Lacy didn’t see last night’s episode since I’m sure the jealous side would come out. They are definitely all over each other on BIP this season. Will it last? Of course not. (For the record, three nights before she left for Mexico, Lacy actually came on to my live video chat and asked a question and even went into the chat room to essentially brag to everyone she was going on the show. Of course she did).
-Josh’s turn and he’s not too thrilled with the lie detector test and takes it out on Andi. So many things wrong with this scene with first and foremost, that it was somehow Andi’s fault the date was a lie detector test. C’mon Josh. You know better than that. Like Andi has any say in what is gonna happen on the group dates. This was not her idea, or are essentially any of the dates. They do things to put you guys in uncomfortable positions to try and achieve the maximum amount of drama that they can. Have you not paid attention to the previous 4 group dates? Stripping, singing, basketball, and miming? But regardless of all that, we know every single season they have to show some sort of “conflict” with every person, or else it’d be far too easy for the audience to pick out who the lead chooses. Well, this was the episode to start throwing a monkey wrench into Josh and Andi’s relationship when it completely was forced. This was a mountain out of a mole hill. They essentially centered this episode around the guy that everyone figured was “perfect” for Andi, but here’s the chink in the armor that’ll get people to doubt. Basically they had nothing to show of Andi disliking Josh in any way, so they concocted this bogus story line. The “is he hiding something, can I trust him” storyline that’s basically out of left field. I guess this is what editors do when they’re bored and have to find something wrong with each guy.
-Remember back in the season opening promo when some of you have asked me over email and on the live video chat, why did it end with Andi crying and saying, “It’s too good to be true…” (at the 2:42 mark)
Well, now we clearly see that clip happened during last night’s episode when she was distraught about Josh, yet of course, it was never shown. So the big promo at the start of the season ends with Andi crying, saying it’s “too good to be true” taking off her mic, everyone starts freaking out, yet it’s never shown during the season. So that should answer that question about how relevant that clip was. It happens every single season, yet every single season people get sucked in to thinking something they see in a preview is some huge, giant storyline, when in reality, it ends up being nothing. Now, if they use that clip at some point later this season, that makes it 10 times worse since we know it happened in Italy. Keep your eye out for it. Maybe now people will stop asking about stuff in the season opening preview going forward. Ha ha…who am I kidding? You’ll all be fooled again next season, and the season after that, and the season after that, and still ask. I’m here to help people. Just trust me on things.
-Chris’ turn to pull her aside and during the lie detector test, he admitted that he was the secret admirer. Yeah, we knew that weeks ago Chris but thanks for filling the unspoiled in. I’m sure they appreciate it. Andi had another letter the day this group date started and Chris wrote a bunch of stuff to build his case for being the next “Bachelor,” so I guess that’s why they continued this storyline. By the way, for everyone clamoring for Marquel to be the next “Bachelor” do you REALLY think they are going to cast a guy who never had a 1-on-1, never got a group date rose, and who lasted 5 episodes? Not to mention we really know absolutely nothing about Marquel other than he likes cookies, works in sales for the UFC, and has a nice smile. Lets see, when was the last time they ever gave the lead to someone who never had a 1-on-1, we barely knew, and who didn’t even make it to the episode before hometowns? Oh yeah, that’s right. Juan Pablo. Not saying Marquel is Juan Pablo, because nobody could possibly be worse than Juan Pablo as the “Bachelor,” but I’m sorry, it’s not happening with Marquel. And oh yeah, Chris got the group date rose. You know, like I said he would ha ha.