Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” and Courtney’s Book

Hi Steve –

A few things…

I know you don’t care about Trista and Ryan but many of your readers do. I’m watching couple’s therapy and it seems like their marriage is and was completely fine. My guess is they’re doing it completely for money. Minus the stigma of being on that show, they’re still maintaining their fairytale image.

I also wanted to compliment you on how well you handled the Eric situation. I think you did a really good job paying respects to him and his family while still doing your job.

And lastly I have a non-Cody look alike for you. My husband rarely agrees with me when I do this so my guess is you won’t either. Every time I see Marcus, I see a combination of Jake Pavelka and Kalon (no clue his last name). Not sure if its looks or mannerisms or both. Thoughts?

Comment: Seen every episode of “Marriage Boot Camp,” and outside of the money factor, I can’t think of one reason why those two would go on it. Everyone else there? Yeah, can totally see it. But hey, it’s their life. If that’s what they wanna do, let them. Certainly doesn’t have any impact on my life whatsoever.

I see maybe Marcus resembling Kalon with the hair. I don’t see any Jake in him.

Reality Steve,

Joshs tattoos are his parents initials on each arm. They are supposed to signify hugging his parents i have read.

Comment: Ok. Guess that’s it then. I hadn’t heard.

Hi Steve,

Random question going back to Deanna’s season. Jason has mentioned on his podcast a few times that he was supposed to go home after hometown dates, but then Graham ended up leaving that night on his own. It doesn’t seem to make sense that the following week Deanna sent Jeremy home after the fantasy suite and took Jason to the finale when she was about to send him home the week before. Any idea how this happened?

Comment: Well according to DeAnna (who told me this directly years ago when I recorded an interview with her, Jeremy, and Holly), DeAnna’s final two were Jeremy and Graham. Once Graham left, she said Jeremy acted weird on the overnight date and something seemed off, so she let him go.

I’m just reading your “reader e-mails” and I laughed when I read the one about how Andi holds the roses at rose ceremony. I know all the woman hold them up but I think she holds them especially high. A few weeks ago I sent my sister a text that looked like this:


Comment: I’d say it’s a combo between a bowler, a praying mantis, and Andy Petitte in his prime.

Hi RS,

We all know at this point that Andi chooses Josh and that they are engaged. Here is my question, Do you think a wedding will actually happen?

Comment: I guess it really doesn’t matter what I think. And honestly, I have no idea. I don’t know these people. I’ll say what I say every season: Their real relationship doesn’t start until the show is done airing, and I’ll believe they’re for real when I see them walk down the aisle. Until then, it’s just another couple from this show that has A LOT of stuff to work through.

It could just be the pictures, but here’s another to add to the “Cody looks like…” inventory. The photo in the middle is Cody (courtesy of Sharleen’s blog), flanked by one Peter Stormare.


Comment: I don’t see this one at all.


1. Great call on the Cody looks like Sean Lowe meets Macklemore….u are so good.
How about…a young version of former NHL Player Brett Hull? Eh, maybe a little.


2. I initially found out about Sharleen’s blog from your column. Do you often look at Sharleen Joynt bachelorette recaps? …Breathe…yes, I know you don’t NEED to since you know all this sh*t first anyway…the reason I ask if you check her recaps is because I figured you would enjoy reading the things YOU reported followed up with intelligent insight….which she does and it is very articulate. Her insights further solidify the things you have been saying for years, I know you don’t need the affirmation, I know your loyal following is affirmation enough. I have read Sharleen’s blog a couple times this year. I like hers because she shares production “secrets.”


3. Notice how many us FAITHFUL readers try to qualify our words we write to you so it does not come out wrong? Please know there are many readers who truly appreciate you and just want to ask questions properly and respectfully. Do not let the “ask holes” ruin it for the most of us that enjoy your work. I try not to let them ruin it at all. But they do email, so I print them. I rarely ever screen the “Reader Emails.” Unless it’s time sensitive, basically every email I get, you will see printed on Thursdays.


4. During Juan Pablo season, alleged hairdresser wrote in to you giving a complete and detailed critiquing on the hair and hairstyles of remaining bachelorettes, pros and cons. Readers reaction and interest that resulted had you, upon individual request and permission, forwarding hairdresser email address so that further reader hair questions could be sent to the “hairdresser” not you. The detailed critique made people feel that here was someone well versed and insightful. Then it was suspected that maybe it wasn’t a random hairdresser writing the critique at all, maybe a contestant…(perhaps Claire) was the mystery person, especially since what was written about Claire was favorable compared to others. Myself, along with several other readers I know, sent emails to hairdresser asking questions, trying to find out what state salon was in, if hairdresser would be willing to take questions via email especially if the salon was not in their state, etc. ……..Anyone could see that if this was legit, it was a wonderful business/advertising opportunity….however, no one got answers to their emails. Seemed very weird. Did you ever find out if it was all just a bunch of bullshit? And even if it all ended up as all bullshit Mr. Steve, I think it was honorable that you tried to hook us up with our requests to email this hairdresser. You did not have to do that, but you did.

Thank you for the work you did with that.

Please take the compliments.

Comment: Well thank you for the compliments, but two things I want to make clear on that last point.

1) Anyone who knows anything about my Settlement Agreement would know that the random hairdresser could not have possibly been Clare, nor anyone from the show. It wasn’t.

2) I’m well aware of who the hairdresser was. And I know for a fact, she wrote back to as many people as she could. I think the last tally I remember is I sent her over 50 emails of people who wanted advice. Did she get back to every single one of them? I’m not sure. But I know she at least got to 30 or so. If she didn’t get back to you, then maybe try again.

Hey Steve,

I’m sure you’ve answered this before, but I’m can’t recall the answer. How do they keep runner up each season from realizing that they are not the winner at the final rose ceremony? I mean, if it’s down to me and one other person and I’m going to film the final rose ceremony, but it’s still early in the day… Wouldn’t I know that I’m not the winner?

Do you know how that works?

Comment: Pretty much. I remember Chantal (Brad 2.0) said after the fact that because she was a fan of the show, when she was being driven to the final rose ceremony, she noticed it was still like 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon, and she knows they like a sunset proposal, so she had a feeling it wasn’t her. I’m sure others have thought the same, but you’d have to ask them.

i am dying as you read the excerpt from courtney’s book. please read additional excerpts in future podcasts (i’m thinking at least 1 a week until the book is complete). dying! hilarious.

Comment: I think I can do that. Tune in tonight to hear me read an excerpt on when Courtney first started masturbating!!!!

Good morning!

First time emailer.

1- have you ever been approached to write a book? Is this something you ever think about for yourself? A long time ago. The book that people would want to see me write would essentially be betraying people who told me things in confidence over the last 5 years. I don’t see myself writing that book.

2- after reading you through the years, I feel like you know so much more than you put in your blog. You refer to some things in your preface and never expand on it. This is some of the data that interests me the most. So… percentage wise…how much of your data do you actually share with readers? With that… how do you discern what goes in…. or more importantly…what stays out? I put in there anything and everything that episodes will bear out (roses, dates, eliminations, drama in the house), and any other nuggets I can share. Percentage? Lets just say there’s so much more about this show that I haven’t written about (gossip, real life encounters, private conversations, anecdotes) than I haven’t. And that’s what people would want to read in a book. But I don’t see how I could do that to people.

3- lastly, do you have a moral code…. an unwritten rule of a line you won’t cross as a blogger/professional? I do not post things on my site that I don’t know to be 100% true and were told to me by trusted sources. I do my best to back up all that information as best I can with a second, and sometimes even third source. Does it always work out? No, as we’ve seen. But I’m not gonna just run with rumors and innuendo like most tabloid sites do just for the hell of it. I don’t need that. My site is strong enough already with spoilers and information about the show that I don’t need to go making stuff up.


Hi Steve

I find it really distracting watching the Bachelorette, because I keep noticing these weird frowning looks that Andi gives sometimes. It’s sort of this look where her mouth is downturned into a frown. I find it strangely annoying and distracting, to the point where I keep watching for it. Her mouth should have its own Twitter account. It reminds me a bit of Tierra’s eyebrow.

Does this bug anyone else? The reason I notice it is that when she is smiling, she is a very attractive person but I find that she instantly looks kinda ugly when she puts on that frown.

Although this isn’t as bad as her “STAAAAAP”, and her “YAWWL”. Why don’t the guys tell her to “SHUT UP”??? I wonder why we haven’t noticed any of the men giving her a hard time over all these things she keeps saying over and over? I never thought I would say this, but her speaking patterns are just as annoying as Juan Pablo’s. Just shows how much of a hypocrite she was for criticizing him over the language he used.

I’m thinking maybe she’s like this because she didn’t want to appear to be too intelligent, because this would turn off some of the men, so she is over compensating, and talking like a real ditz. It seems like acting and not her genuine self. I thought she could be funny and clever, and she’s making the wrong moves by playing dumb all the time, because that can be kind of boring, right?

Are they given a list of things they are NOT allowed to talk about or say? I notice that Desiree was like that too. She repeated the same phrases all the time.

Comment: Every lead in every season usually has phrases they repeat over and over. Andi is no different, except that she brought a couple new ones to the table in staaaaaahp and y’all.

Hi Steve,

Blah blah yada yada, long time reader, you’re so funny, you get the point.

I have to say I’m on your side with this whole Marquel as bachelor thing. This was about the same time of the season that Juan Pablo got dumped and we all know how well it worked out having a nobody as a bachelor turned out. Juan Pablo even got a one on one, Marquel did not. I mean how stupid can you be to assume that a guy who we know absolutely NOTHING about, who didn’t get any air time, let alone a one on one date, is going to be the bachelor. ABC took that chance with Juan Pablo (who actually got more air time and a one on one in comparison) and look how well that turned out. Anyone who doubts you on this is a total fool. It couldn’t be more obvious that this guy is not the bachelor. Guess they have to wait and see but at least I know I can say who the next bachelor will be, unlike all these crazy people who think Marquel has it in the bag. Whomp whomp.

Thanks Steve!

Comment: Yeah, just don’t see how they can make it Marquel. I understand the social media power, but after casting Juan Pablo strictly based on giggly women online who wanted him, I don’t think they’d be stupid enough to go that route again for the exact reasons you mentioned. Not to mention Marquel is on BIP. So he’s really gonna film three shows in a row? Highly unlikely.

Hi Steve,

1. At what point did Brooks wish to leave on Desiree’s season? I am guessing it was either in Portugal, before hometowns or after hometowns, before overnights. Am I right? I don’t know the exact time, but he made it clear to producers before hometowns he didn’t see it happening with Des. All of which of course I found out much later after the fact.

2. Why was Sharleen allowed to leave before hometowns and Brooks was persuaded to stay until overnights? It’s all in how they feel they can concoct a good storyline.


Man, that Dr. Reality Steve question was one compelling trainwreck. Don’t think I’ve see one in which she seems to have a thing for you for the first part tells a long convoluted story with five questions and a follow up. Throw in the nude photo, and you’ve got a reality show.

Also, don’t understand the Marquel love. Don’t have a problem with a guy, but the last time this show hot-shotted the people’s choice to the Bachelor, they ended up with Juan Pablo.


Who do you think are the top candidates to leech off the show franchise? I.e., their ONLY fame is through show appearances on The Bachelor, Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad and Bachelor in Paradise. Not sure who has hit for the “Bachelor Cycle”

My best guesses are:
1. Bukowski- Bachelor, Bachelor Pad, Bachelor in Paradise, Terrible Bachelorette cameo
2. Michelle Money – Bachelor, Bachelor Pad x2? Bach in Paradise
3. She Who Shall Not Be Named- Bachelor, Bachelor Pad x 2, Bach in Paradise?

1. Bukowski– By Far
2. She Who Shall Not Be Named
3. Michelle Money– I know you said she’s a nice person, but she has not turned down too many Bachelor franchise TV shows

Am I missing anyone? What do you think?

Comment: I hate to see Michelle on that list, but yeah, she’s done a lot in the franchise for someone who got railroaded on her initial season. Bukowski takes the cake. I don’t think anyone has been on 4 different shows, nor do I think anyone will be.

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  1. Dianne

    June 26, 2014 at 10:40 AM

    Regarding the “Blind Items” from Courtney’s book, I, without a doubt, would say Bachelor #2 would be Bob Gainey. He was that sleezy that I could totally see that being him.

  2. shouldbeworking

    June 26, 2014 at 11:06 AM

    I read the book and I liked it. I think it took me about 3 hours to read.
    Dianne…totally who I thought of first for Bachelor #2.

  3. kaybaby

    June 26, 2014 at 11:15 AM

    For the woman whose Husband wants permission to have sex with another woman while she is away, the correct answer is “You’ll have to decide that on your own. You’ve already done damage and created doubt to our marriage by asking me.”

  4. arco5986

    June 26, 2014 at 11:16 AM

    Just wanted to mention that in the extra scenes after the episodes, Brian didn’t say f*ck in public, he said fart in public. That’s why the boys were all giggling like little girls while they answered the question. I have to admit, I was giggling pretty hard too. Re-watch the scene if you haven’t, best extra scene they’ve had in awhile.

  5. JovisMom

    June 26, 2014 at 1:18 PM

    How many pages is Courtney’s book?

  6. angelfish

    June 26, 2014 at 1:29 PM

    According to Amazon, Courtney’s book is 272 pages. Most of the customer reviews thus far say it’s very entertaining.

  7. addicted2rs

    June 26, 2014 at 1:44 PM

    I bought Courtney’s book and am about half way through it. I’m pleasantly surprised by how detailed she is about what casting was like, her experience during the Bachelor, her sex life. She is not vague. 🙂 I almost feel sorry for Jesse Metcalf etc… who are probably pretty mortified.

  8. bigfatwoman

    June 26, 2014 at 6:31 PM

    I’m sure Courtney’s book is entertaining but it would be hard for me to give my money to someone who seems to clearly be desperate for attention.

    From the ridiculous way she acted on Bach to over sharing in a book, I think this woman has a personality disorder and is nothing more than a pretty face.

    Sharleen’s blog is wonderful. I wasn’t much of a fan of her deer in the headlights persona with Juan Pebbles….but I thoroughly enjoy her witty blog.

  9. shouldbeworking

    June 27, 2014 at 7:01 AM

    I think I got my 12 bucks worth of entertainment from Courtneys book. I really wanted to know how the whole process works first hand. Steve calls her stories of touching herself exhilarating….I call it TMI. That didn’t need to be in the book. I know there are two sides to every story, but the way Ben acted in their relationship made me like him even less. I didn’t like him as the Bachelor, and she confirmed to me how he really is. Again, I know there are two sides to every story. I’m sure she’s no angel either.

  10. amyrn22

    June 27, 2014 at 7:17 AM

    No offense to Steve at all, but does anyone else think it’s weird how many women write in the reader emails or in the video blog about how good-looking Steve is or how “hot he looks tonight” in the live chat? It seems like it’s more and more women writing in and mentioning that every week, and there’s always 3 or 4 people who mention his looks on the video blog. He’s not ugly, but I’d say he’s completely average (not my type AT ALL). The way women fawn over him sometimes makes me think either there are some desperate women on this site or women just looking for attention from him. Like they want “unattainable reality steve” to like them. He seems really, really uncomfortable whenever he reads a comment like that- at least on the video blog. Maybe he’s flattered when he reads the emails alone but I always find it so awkward when someone comments about his looks or why doesn’t he have a girlfriend, etc. Am I missing something or do you guys see something in him I don’t?

  11. Dianne

    June 27, 2014 at 7:19 AM

    Oh, come on BFW! Give the girl a break. She was a victim to very bad editing on the producer’s part. I don’t believe for one second she’s “desperate” for attention. She had the opportunity to put it all out there with her book..and she did, and power to her. Nobody else has ever done this in the history of I give her credit where credit is due. So, tell me, BFW, if you were given such a bad rap, wouldn’t you want to do something to prove it’s not all true? Given the opportunity, I know I would.

  12. rob22

    June 27, 2014 at 8:19 AM

    Courtney wrote the book for money and attention. I’m sure the opportunity to put her own spin on things was a nice side benefit too. Bad edit or no bad edit, who knows? But remember, it was Ben Flatdicks season. He chose Courtney, otherwise she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be the villain and make money on a book. I wouldn’t pity her too much. In TV Land the only bad publicity is no publicity. The media and fan “hate” only fueled her notriety. Otherwise, no attention, no book, no money. Most of the lunatics that appear on this show have early exits and are never heard from again. Courtney is fully captializing on her 15 minutes.

  13. karynr

    June 27, 2014 at 8:19 AM

    I just finished the book and also feel like I got my money’s worth. It was entertaining and a very quick read. I was never a fan of Ben, but now know for a fact that he’s just a d***. I was never a fan of Courtney either, but really felt for her while reading the book. It’s so easy for all of us to sit behind our technology and say terrible things. When you read firsthand how it affects someone, it kind of makes you feel bad about being one of many judging someone I don’t know so harshly.

  14. karynr

    June 27, 2014 at 8:20 AM

    Grammar police….I know that last sentence is awful!

  15. strick432

    June 27, 2014 at 8:22 AM

    anybody that has the book wanna mail it to me and let me read it and I’ll mail it back? I don’t wanna buy it. I’m cheap.

  16. Dianne

    June 27, 2014 at 8:42 AM

    oh, I dunno rob22..I say that even if Ben hadn’t chosen Courtney, she still would have been give the opportunity to put it all in writing. She was pegged the villain from day one.

  17. grace6

    June 27, 2014 at 9:34 AM

    I don’t think Chris is the winner this season, but don’t dismiss that “idiot” JBF quite so quickly. You have to stop relying only of your “sources. Why was Chris S. handing out roses in Seattle weeks before the finale of Des’s season? Because there are now foilers! JBF had Chris as Des’s pick for most of the season! You were mocking the long list of clues/hints on that website during her season. You were wrong. They were right! Perhaps you should tone down your arrogance after that failure.

  18. karynr

    June 27, 2014 at 9:53 AM

    strick…I only have the Kindle edition or else I’d mail it to you.

  19. strick432

    June 27, 2014 at 10:48 AM

    Thanks karyn. I thought about asking Steve, but didn’t want to get my feelings hurt when he got mean with me and said no. I just can’t see buying it. My Kindle is broken. Any other takers wanna mail me the book?

  20. rob22

    June 27, 2014 at 11:52 AM

    Dianne, oh maybe, but her profile was raised significantly (and not in a positive way) when that idiot Ben Flatdick picked her. Remember the outrage and seeminingly weeks of tabloid and blog publicity that followed? Even people who never watched the show knew who Courtney was. I’m not sure someone like Tiarra would write a book and generate any interest. Maybe, but probably not.

  21. karynr

    June 28, 2014 at 6:28 AM

    It’s been bugging me all season, but I just realized who Nick resembles…IMO. I think he strongly resembles Peter MacNichol from Ally McBeal!

  22. sandy

    June 28, 2014 at 10:25 AM

    Well that didn’t take long. Rumor has it, that Andi and Josh will be competing against each other on next seasons Dancing with the Stars. Don’t they always plug a Bachette contestant each season.

    If so, then RS assumption that they are both hungry to stay in the media world would be correct.

  23. purplesunsets

    June 29, 2014 at 12:52 AM

    @karynr I see the resemblance! I loved that show.

    Ive read a rumor its The view is considering Andi after the two girls left. Its from a gossip sight though.

    Does anyone follow the other remaining guys from this season? I see their posts on IG popular page and it seems there’s a rivalry/sides of sorts going on? Like my bros and genuine people I love these guys but exclude certain people obviously in the picture. Well I see its mostly Nick, JJ and Brian who does it. Just found it weird

  24. andismouth

    June 29, 2014 at 7:03 AM

    To the reader who wrote that Andi’s mouth should have a Twitter account— it’s been actively yapping since the end of JuPa’s season.

  25. Sunnyside422

    June 29, 2014 at 10:13 AM

    Don’t intent to actually purchase Courtney’s book but if my local library can get it, I will read it that way. She deftly is over sharing her life…sad that she needs to basically trash herself and everyone in her life.

    Since Ben is butt ugly, he should have been very grateful that someone like her wanted to be with him! Always thought he was a twit and nothing he says or does now changes my opinion.

    Notice how he so wants to distance himself from Courtney and trashes her…hey stupid, you picked her so live with your huge mistake and shut up! I hope they both slither under those rocks they emerged from all those months ago.

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