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Bachelor in Paradise

“Bachelor in Paradise” Episode 4 Recap Including When is the Next “Bachelor” Going to be Announced?

-We begin by recapping what happened at the end of last week’s rose ceremony when Chris did the gentlemanly thing and gave Michelle his rose because someone new was showing up because he wanted to have sexy time with Elise in Chicago. Even though he denies he’s ever slept with her, which is about as believable as Chris saying he doesn’t care about this franchise. Which is to say he’s lying through his teeth. A date card is back at the house for Robert. It says “Choose a woman to set sail with you tomorrow.” For some reason, Michelle still has a glimmer of hope that Robert is into her, even though he’d just given his rose to Sarah. Michelle is holding out hope, but to no avail. Robert chooses Sarah for his date and Michelle is back in her room crying that no one wants her. Well, Marquel does. As long as you lay off the booze. And Robert did, like two days ago. But then didn’t. Such is life in “Bachelor in Paradise.”

Date #1: Robert and Sarah

-Before Sarah’s date, she wants her hair done. And hey, look what hair stylist just happens to be at the resort? Michelle Money, that’s who. I wonder if Michelle really gave her the best do’ possible, or if she made it a tad ratty so that Robert wouldn’t be as impressed? This show is turning into one giant commercial for all the clothes Michelle wears and the hair styles she does. Anyone who thinks any of these people didn’t go on the show to promote themselves or their brand is lost. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but lets just call it for what it is. Why do you think these people are constantly tweeting and instagramming companies brands on the jewelry, clothing, and bathing suits they’re wearing during the show? They get free sh** from these companies, and in return they tell their thousands of followers what it is they have on. Smart business model on both ends, just don’t sit there and tell us how much you want to find love. Promoting your brand comes first and foremost for you agreeing to go on this show, and if you get a relationship out of it, it’s just a bonus. That’s what this show has turned into.

-Sarah and Robert’s date is in Playa del Carmen because, well, that’s pretty much where every date has been besides last week’s, right? How many different places can you go within a 100 yard radius of the resort? Yeah lets face it, this show couldn’t be more opposite than the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” in that aspect. Those shows accentuate the over-the-top romantic dates, and this one basically shows two people sitting at a private dinner for two minutes before going back to the resort and focusing on the drama. Of course for Sarah who doesn’t get asked out much, this is like the greatest date ever…”Oh my God…sooooo coooooolll…hot guy….absolutely breathtaking…” I think from now until the end of time, if two people on a TV show are on a date on a boat, it’s written into their contracts that they must stand at the front of the boat and re-enact Jack and Rose’s “King of the World” from “Titanic.” Lets stop. It’s nauseating. Please. Just…no. And to top it off, these two decided to scream “YOPO!” on top of it, which had Jack Dawson turning over in his grave. Or at the bottom of the ocean.

-Sarah loves being on this date. Sarah loves being on this show. Sarah loves everything. “This is definitely turning into Sarahdise.” Oh geez. Well, you’re gonna have to fight Clare over that one since she already claimed “Clare-adise.” I’m not sure which one of you can claim it as your own, but please, lets settle this as quickly as humanly possible before I lose my lower intestines from throwing up so much. Sarah and Robert go snorkeling and we learn something about Sarah. “The ocean makes me feel really vulnerable.” Vulnerable like she feels like she’s become shark’s prey, or vulnerable in that if the timing were right, she’d have sex in the ocean right now with Robert. Clare said last week she liked Zack’s pheromones. Maybe the Tulum waters have some pheromones in them that are getting Sarah’s lady bits all excited? I have no idea why the ocean makes her feel vulnerable, but hey, I’ll take her word for it. Or maybe it’s the phallic symbol that snorkeling represents, coupled with the pheromones that are making Sarah super giddy. Robert, time to take care of that buddy. This chick has already been on two dates and had one fake kiss from Marcus. You gotta give her a little somethin’ somethin’.

-In a deleted scene from last week, Robert surprised Sarah with some ice cream then these two had some fascinating conversation:

The “tell me one thing I don’t know about you” question was easy, and Robert had a brain fart. How about you tell her you once dated Des’ roommate, then when you showed up on Des’ season and she asked you if you remembered who she was, you said no, which ultimately led to you not getting a rose. Or maybe Sarah already knew that story. Nonetheless, it was funny.

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12 Comments

12 Comments

  1. picklesmcgee

    August 26, 2014 at 11:38 AM

    Uhh, pretty sure the ocean makes Sarah feel vulnerable because she only has one arm. I thought that would be an obvious assumption.

  2. bigfatwoman

    August 26, 2014 at 12:18 PM

    I had vowed not to watch this show….but I’ve been glued since episode 1. It is so trashtastic. I love it.

    Answer me this about Sarah…..I think she’s a lovely girl, beautiful inside and out and way too normal for this show….but, does anyone know why she doesn’t wear a prosthetic arm? I’m sure she has her reasons and I’m sure she doesn’t need one to function any better, but aesthetically it would just look so much better. There is nothing gross about her missing arm, it’s just that it’s so distracting to the eye (at least for me).

    I saw Arie’s tweet last night about “have fun at the farm” and I thought, “wow, I was unsure this guy was a douche, but he certainly just confirmed it.” What a sore loser.

  3. ashleigh11

    August 26, 2014 at 12:46 PM

    AshLee’s apology to Clare might have sounded a little more sincere if she hadn’t wandered away for it muttering under her breath that she’s such a b*tch. I think AshLee has learned how to meticulously fake that she’s a nice and classy person, but she just isn’t. And all of that after Clare gave up her date with Graham to placate sourpuss AshLee on day one. I’m glad Clare called her out on it. That was incredibly shady of her and a pretty low blow.

    Re Kalon – I actually thought he was pretty hilarious. He’s not a guy you’d date (sadly, I know this after having dated a Kalon clone for years), but he’s good TV and he nailed every cheesy romantic one-liner cliche perfectly. I also love the charity work he does for shelters and animal rescues with GiveBones in his private life, so he’s not a bad guy – just a bad romantic prospect.

    Even though BIP is a total gong-show, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

  4. JovisMom

    August 26, 2014 at 12:58 PM

    bigfatwoman – I know we have disagreed w\ things in the past but I agree 1000% with you on the Sara deal.
    She seems very sweet and I have also wondered why she doesn’t wear a prosthetic arm… I have a feeling that perhaps she does own one but the show asked her not to wear it for the show for the “drama”… No sure.

  5. oyoung1117

    August 26, 2014 at 3:08 PM

    About Sarah and her lack of a prosthetic. I think when a person is really self-conscious about something, thinking that somehow you can hide it on some level is really inhibiting. You are always afraid of the moment your secret “gets out” and you feel like you are lying about who you are because you are ashamed of it. But the moment you allow yourself to come out of hiding–you are free. Terrified and still probably pretty self-conscious, but free. You don’t have to worry about the moment someone realizes you don’t have an arm, they recognize it the moment they see you. It is who you are and you are okay with it.

  6. rob22

    August 26, 2014 at 3:34 PM

    The thing is with Sarah is that if you’re going to go with the stump rather than a prosthetic, then you really need a little attitude behind it…. Or add a little humor, or something. If you go with the stump and then are super self conscious, then you come across as someone who you have to tippy toe around and constantly build up or the insecurities will constantly surface. Guys are instantly going to feel awkward, typically…. And especially on this show where guys have the depth of a kiddie pool…. If it really bothers Sarah as much as it seems to, and I don’t blame her at all for feeling insecure, I’m sure most of us would feel that way…. Well, then go with the prosthetic and feel comfortable. I find myself wondering if she does have a prosthetic and the producers bullied her into not wearing it. That would explain a lot for me.

  7. cjscjs711

    August 26, 2014 at 9:04 PM

    I’m sure Sarah has her reasons for not having or wearing a prosthesis. Outside of wearing a long-sleeved shirt, I’m not sure there’s much she could do about the obviousness of it. I don’t know if she’s ever discussed the details of it but I actually think it would be interesting to hear. Maybe she doesn’t want to seem like a poster child for disabilities, but just like this discussion – we’re clueless about the options or problems.

  8. shari253

    August 27, 2014 at 12:59 AM

    I think that the reason Sarah does not wear a prosthetic arm is that she was born with her arm the way it is. She has been this way her whole life. It is different than someone who lost their arm in an accident or military service. I agree that her partial arm is a bit disconcerting but I admire her courage to be free of a prosthetic.

  9. Scout

    August 27, 2014 at 8:00 AM

    RE: Sarah and a prosthetic.
    I don’t know why, nor do I actually care, but I follow her on social media and I’ve never seen her with one. So I don’t think its a producer thing. What I do think may be producer manipulation would be getting her to talk about it. ie: “oh sarah, don’t you feel like your one arm gives you limitations? don’t you feel insecure. you’re different because you have one arm” and then get her reaction. She probably doesn’t even think about it in her day to day life because, like shari253 said, she was born without it.

  10. rob22

    August 27, 2014 at 11:03 AM

    Scout, good point. I’m sure the producers dig into her insecurities pretty hard. I feel for the girl. The Bachelor franchise, especially BIP is completely wrong for her. But, just because she seems sweet and lost an arm, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t enjoy the attention and notoriety just like everyone else. And because she only has one arm, people are more inclined to go easy on her. So she avoids the sledgehammers delivered via social media that most everyone else has to endure.

  11. molliebsmith

    August 27, 2014 at 1:14 PM

    thoughts on this week’s episode:
    kalon’s date was the funniest part
    poor marquel
    ANDREW RIPP IS A DREAMBOAT https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/let-love-win/id632774958?i=632775212

  12. Cndgirl

    August 27, 2014 at 5:44 PM

    Maybe this is our opportunity to explore with ourselves why we feel uncomfortable about Sarah. I’m also a little uneasy, but I’ve been trying to think about that, and understand what that means about me and about what I see – I don’t think the solution should be that Sarah should get a prosthetic so the rest of the world feels more comfortable. I give her full props about being vulnerable and putting it out there – whatever her reasoning is.

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