-We’re at the nighttime fireside chat where everyone sits around and they start doing ITM’s with people to set up the next person coming in. Michelle is talking to Jackie about how everyone there is paired up and she has no one. Enter Cody with a date card. Cody is bouncing off walls as usual, and he immediately goes for…Clare. He pulls Clare aside and tells her that he’s had his eye on her since Juan Pablo’s season. To be exact, “I liked Andi, Kat, and you.” So yeah, technically she was third on his list. Since Andi is engaged, and Kat isn’t on this show, he figured he’d go for Clare. Option #3. Hey whatever works for you buddy. Clare is game, but she’s kind of in a sort-of-maybe-I-don’t-know-what-we-are relationship with Zack. She tells Cody she’s with Zack but that doesn’t seem to deter him. He’s hell bent on getting a date with Clare. He’s pushing hard. And doesn’t seem to be taking no for an answer. But first, Clare must find out if Zack even likes her that much before she decides to answer Cody. This goes over about as well as a turd in a punch bowl.
-She asks Zack point blank what she should do and he says he wouldn’t be mad if she went on the date. Then she asks if the shoe was on the other foot, what would he do, and Zack possibly gave the worst answer ever by saying, “Well, it depends who shows up.” Ouch. Clare, he just went BBD on you. He’s looking for the Bigger, Better, Deal. If/When it comes along, you are yesterday’s news. Then these two started talking about “eggs in one basket.” A lot. Like, more than should be brought up in any normal conversation. Clare doesn’t want to put all her eggs in one basket with Zack like she did with JP only to be disappointed, and Zack doesn’t necessarily want a bunch of eggs in his basket because, well, he’d like some sausage patties, maybe some bacon, and even some ham if he could. Clare just wants straight eggs. Can’t be runny eggs. Just eggs. All in one basket because she’s that kind of girl. She says all her eggs are in his basket. Zack isn’t that type of guy and that’s where they will meet their demise later tonight. By the way, check out Chris Harrison’s blog today where he spells Zack’s name wrong at least 10 times.
-Clare and Zack had a deleted scene from their double date last week when they painted together. Surprised Zack didn’t paint a picture of Jackie.
-Cody is still hard after Clare. Even Lacy notices. “Cody came in like a wrecking ball.” You mean naked and swinging from a big, giant boulder like this?
Funny, I didn’t notice Cody carrying any sledgehammers and wearing a wife beaters and panties, but I’ll take your word for it, Lacy. Clare now goes and talks to Michelle about Zack and she’s starting to catch on. Even she is noticing that Zack is a little wishy washy. “Why can’t he be more like Cody?” Well, maybe because he doesn’t want to eat 20 egg whites every morning, do curls for hours on end, and he isn’t too keen on looking like the love child of Sean Lowe and Macklemore.
-Zack goes to talk to Graham about what Clare said to him and basically resolved nothing. I think he realized he didn’t give her the answer she wanted to hear. Cody is still working Clare. “You’re way better looking in person than on TV.” Clare: “I want a man that steps up…Cody is definitely letting me know how he feels.” Cody: “You’re my favorite one here.” Clare ultimately tells him “thanks but no thanks” because of the relationship she currently has going with Zack with a “k,” Chris Harrison. Anyway, since Kat isn’t showing up and Clare said no, Cody just decides to give his date card to Marcus for him to enjoy. Yippee. We get to see America’s Most Boring Couple on another date. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Date #2: Marcus and Lacy
-These two go to Casa Jaguar, which is the nightclub for all the cougars in Tulum. Kidding. I have no idea what it is, other than another completely unoriginal date put together by the producers. They have their own table in the back of a restaurant, which is something we’ve seen how many times already this season? Marcus tells Lacy he’s very smitten by her, and Lacy either hasn’t watched an episode of this franchise before or has the vocabulary of a 4th grader because she reacts as if she’s never heard that word uttered before. She tells Marcus he can be open with her and that nothing is gonna scare her away. I think it was at this point that Marcus either said “I love you” directly, or masked it with “I love you” and then followed it with something he loved about her. Couldn’t hear. Either way Lacy says she wanted to say it back to him but she just couldn’t. Because it wasn’t the right time, or because you had known him less than 14 days at that point? Which one sweetie because we’re dying to know. Man, and I thought the amount of delusion on the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” were ridiculous. Marcus and Lacy and absolutely taking the cake this season. Yes, I understand they spent waaaaay more time together than a couple would on the “Bachelor/ette,” but still…two weeks. You’re two weeks in to knowing someone. You’re not in love. Just stop it. You’re embarrassing your family Marcus for how quickly you fall for someone with a pulse, boobs, and lady parts.