Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise

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G’day Steve,

Long time reader, love your posts… yada, yada, yada… anyway to the point! Based on the greeting you are already aware that I am Australian and I am currently watching the Australian Bachelor, which is essentially a guinea pig for other Bachelors. Here are some of the changes and I would love to hear your opinion on them because I think it will be hallarious…

1. He is the first Black Bachelor (Go Australia!)

2. They had a white rose which was allowed one girl to be save for the first two rose ceremonies

3. In week 4 (we have 2 episodes a week each ep has 1 one-on-one and 1 group then rose ceremony where usually no more than 2 girls get eliminated at a time besides the 1st night) they brought in 6 new girls (bringing the number of girls in the house from 9 to 15) into the competition at that eps cocktail party…. and you guessed it the original girls were pissed and there was lots of drama with one original girl rejecting a rose!

4. On the One-on-One dates if someone doesnt get the rose they don’t get eliminated that week necessarily

Just wanting to hear your sarcastic thoughts….


p.s – clear eyes full hearts can’t lose

Comment: Lets put anotha’ shrimp on the bah-by. Sorry. That’s the only other phrase I know.

My thoughts? Maybe Marquel should move to Australia and not be so pissed at America for not casting him as the lead.

Hi Steve!

I’m curious how Ali Fedotowsky became such good friends with Kaley Cuoco and that group of girls… I figured I’d ask you since you seem to know most bach franchise related. I know Kaley is a big bachelor/ bachelorette fan but I wasn’t sure if that’s how her and Ali became friends or if there was another way.

Comment: I thought I knew at some point, but I either forgot or maybe I never knew. Not sure.

Hey Steve, love your column, have read since Jason’s season, yada yada.

Anyway, I know you’ve been getting some questions about Desiree and Chris’ wedding and I’ve been thinking — could the whole “Bachelorette ending up with someone she clearly didn’t love” factor be why ABC isn’t televising it? Everyone in America knows she’s only marrying Chris because Brooks left and she then pathetically tried to convince herself that she was really in love with her consolation prize. Do producers not want any part of their wedding because they know it’s not really “true love”? (For the record, I think Des seems perfectly sweet, but not terribly bright, and if I were her I would have picked Chris over Brooks anyway — I just think it’s obvious she was so desperate that she talked herself into staying with the only guy who was left instead of pulling a Brad Womack and ending up alone, and I think Chris deserves better than someone who’s only marrying him by default.) Just my thoughts!

Oh and please tell me Bachelor in Paradise is coming back next year — it’s such a train wreck and way more entertaining than the last four or five seasons of The Bachelor/ette!

Comment: I don’t know the reason why they aren’t televising their wedding, but it’s clear that they aren’t with as much wedding talk that Des and Chris do and still not one word from ABC about it. I don’t think though it has to do with the structure of the show and how she chose Chris.

I’m pretty sure BIP will get renewed for next summer, but they’ll tweak it a little bit to add a twist.

It seems strange that “Garden of Eden” is a mixture of BIP and Dating Naked, but I guess producers rip ideas off each other all the time:

The thing that annoys me about this is that Elan Gale is such an a**hole, and he’s passing off BIP as his own creation. Bleh.

Comment: Television is very much a copy cat business. Of course they took elements from other dating shows to put it together. The next original idea in television will be the first. “Dating Naked” came from a U.K. show, so even that isn’t original. A lot of reality shows get their ideas from shows overseas. If it has success over there, they try it out here.

Since the emmys are on Monday Night, do you have any knowledge about a rebroadcast on a later day in the week.? Last year one of the local ABC affiliates showed it again on Saturday nights. Thank you for any help you can provide.

Comment: For BIP? Not that I know of. Check your local listings on ABC for the next 4 days. If it doesn’t re-run between now and Sunday then it won’t.

I’d also suggest investing in a DVR. That’s what they are for.

Hey Steve,

Watching something on a relatively basic cable channel entitled TVGN and they just showed a promo saying they are going to start to air episodes of BH 90210 beginning with some type of marathon on Labor Day. Anyways I think you had mentioned it was a bummer when they stopped airing those on SOAP net (?) so thought you might find this of interest, as I did. Apologies in advance if you don’t get/have access to this channel where you live.

A Fellow BH 90210 fan

Comment: Yes, I get TVGN. I also have every season of 90210 on DVD, so although those episodes do get tempting when I come across them, it all depends on what time. And since football season officially begins tonight, I highly doubt I’ll go into marathon mode. My binge watching of old shows (or new ones) will usually happen in the summer since my TV schedule is fairly light.

Hi Steve,

As I’m looking forward to tonight’s trash television, I was thinking about the previews, and how they’re always overhyped. Can you think of an instance when what aired in the episode *actually* lived up to the hype?? Thank you for all the entertainment you provide!

Comment: That’s all a matter of opinion. What I think might’ve lived up to the hype, others didn’t and vice versa. But on the whole, I don’t think any of their previews really ever live up to the hype.

I mean, in a quick shot during the season preview for BIP, you hear about “blood everywhere,” you see an ambulance, and you see someone with handcuffs on. The blood was Marcus cutting his foot which we’ve yet to see, the ambulance was this past week when Lacy got dehydrated, and they haven’t shown the handcuff game the guys played with each other to see who could escape the fastest, and they probably won’t. Yet when they show it in quick shots during the preview, it gets people talking. All three ended up being nothing, as is the case most seasons.


I find it surprising that Arie just found out now that he wasn’t the Bachelor, not like about 2 weeks ago when you posted it.

He tweeted “I’m not the Bachelor, have fun on the farm people” and then a peace sign.
Wow, sounds bitter to me, don’t you think?

And I saw Chris retweet it with “#horsesh*t”. Just thought I’d tell you, but I’m guessing others will email you telling you the same thing.

Comment: Arie did find out from producers just a couple days ago. I’m just saying that he should’ve paid more attention to the reports from here that it was Chris. They just strung him along. He was never a serious candidate in their minds.

Of course he’s bitter. He was passed up yet again and he realizes he’d be so much better known being the lead on a nationally televised show watched by millions of people for 2 ½ months than lugging it around on a racing circuit that barely anyone watches. Of course he wanted to be the “Bachelor.” Builds his brand. He realizes how much more interested people would be in him if he was versus what he does now.

Do you think they are possibly trying to set michelle money up as a potential bachelorette?

Comment: No.

Why are they featuring Michelle’s hairstyling in every single episode? I remember you said she did everyone’s hair on her Bachelor season, but they didn’t really show it. Now it’s like they’re promoting her for business.

Comment: Part of the reason she probably agreed to go on the show. And also to let everyone know what she’s wearing on Twitter and Instagram. Much more of a business opportunity than about finding love. I think most of them look at it that way.

Is it ironic that Lacy said Cody “came in like a wrecking ball” on the one year anniversary of the day Miley released “Wrecking Ball”?

Well technically she said it months ago. But yeah.

Comment: Has it been a year already? I thought a year ago was when she let Robin Thicke simulate banging her from behind in front of millions of viewers?

So is AshLee known as the craZee in bachelor world? Michael Garofolo seems to be on a tweeting spree about her being a nut! Didn’t they date???

Comment: Yes, they dated. And Michael obviously is bitter and feels that trashing her on Twitter is something that reflects so well on him. I don’t get it, nor will I ever.

OK Steve. I tend to send my emails in list form, so here we go again. Call it the Tuesday morning 10-pack, lol. Anyway, here’s a wrap on last night’s trainwreck:

1. The desperation of Michelle Money sunk to new lows last night. Having fallen through with Marquel, she immediately fixated on Robert with a depth and intensity that made absolutely zero sense. This is a guy, remember, who had shown no interest in Michelle, having started the show caught in the tractor beam that is Lacy’s glorious chest. Now cockblocked by Marcus, he’s untethered and available, and so naturally Michelle thinks he might just be the answer to all her “oh crap, I live in Utah” loneliness. She’s not merely curious about Robert, she doesn’t think he’s kind of an interesting guy, or nice looking, or whatever. He’s THE guy and her “chance at love”, which is, after all, why Michelle came here. That’s one hell of a lot of importance to attach to a guy you don’t even know, and who’s Johnson was pointed elsewhere only days earlier. Of course, none of that profound emotion really meant much, because it was just as easily redirected at Cody by episode’s end. Weird. And to think that this is what the show says we should have high regard for…after all, Michelle, while clearly past her sell-by date, is here for the “right reasons”! Which makes me rethink…

2. …Chris Bukowski, who makes no bones about the fact that he shows up for a check, some vacay, and some easy sex. And he’s the “bad boy”? Or is he the guy whose attitude seems to match the shallowness of the environment he’s in? Come to think of it, the guy isn’t so dumb after all. He came on the show, enjoyed some sun, had a few drinks, took a hot blonde home and banged her, then cast her off and went back to the grind of everyday life. Not a bad way to spend a couple of weeks. I know why Chris does what he does, but when you make yourself the butt of the joke as often as he does, kinda soils your reputation.

3. Clare and Zack. Er, let’s take them one at a time. Start with Zack, whose clueless, meathead, ready-to-better-deal-her-at-a-moment’s-notice attitude somehow jolts Clare. Um, you know you’re on a show that actually requires you to hook up, right? But you’ve already leapt from Zack hanging out with you and getting handsy to somehow having a “connection”? Newsflash—if he doesn’t do that, you won’t give him a rose, and he’ll go home! Why would he want to do that when there’s a fresh batch of unknown hotties still to come? Is there anything more tantalizing to a guy then freshly available tail just around the corner? Of course the dude is going to keep his options open. Don’t blame Zack—he graduated from the Chris Bukowski school of reality dating shows. I guess after Juan Pabs, it doesn’t take much to impress Clare these days. Favorite part of the show from Clare—when she got mad at Zack for not “defending her” when AshLee talked about her and Pabs in the ocean. Clare—the dude just wants to bang you. He probably wanted to hear the longer version of the story, not defend you from it!

4. AshLee. Wow, when she went to crazy town, she ate the whole buffet. Here’s how crazy AshLee is: if ABC decided to use special effects to show her head doing 360 degree spins, for a split second, we’d believe it.

5. Lacy’s chest. Just had to mention that. Wow, I mean…(ok, stop).

6. Jackie’s chest. Bad boob job. Trying to deny the image in my brain. Lacy’s chest. Ahh, problem solved.

7. Marcus and Lacy remind me of my teenage daughters with their boyfriends. I’m betting Lacy has “Marcus” written 100 times all over the front of her day planner in various day-glow colors, and Marcus is already scouting tattoo shops for his “Lacy 4ever” tat. He loves her, he says. Oh, Marcus.

8. As much as we bag on this show, you have to give them credit for Kalon’s self-date, where he proclaims “I finally found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with”. Did you notice that this quote was included in the intro package for the show? Here you’re thinking somebody’s made the “big connection” that this show tries to sell viewers on, and really it was Kalon by himself. For once, the bachelor production folks were willing to be fully in on the joke. It must said though, that Kalon’s self-makeout sesh was kinda creepy and realistic. Kinda looked like it might not have been the first time he’d done that. Well, he does strike out a lot, I’m sure…who knows what goes on in front of the mirror when he gets home? Just saying…I’m guessing he’s practiced that in the mirror numerous times.

9. It’s downright bizarre on this horrible show to watch Graham and Michelle interact. I say bizarre because unlike virtually every other interaction on the show, you can actually tell that these are two people who genuinely know one another and care about one another. It’s the only “real” thing happening. At one point my wife said, “Why don’t these two just get together and stay together”? Who knows what really went on there, but watching them with one another makes every other “relationship” on the show look that much more phony by comparison.

10. Thank goodness Chris Bukowski shape-shifted and returned to the show, er, Kovacs came! This show simply aches for an amoral, heat-seeking tailhound to make sure the viewers never forget what this show is really about. Kovacs knows. Hell, if they let him, he’ll bang ‘em all. Hopefully he’s learned his lesson from the previous “Bachelor Pad” not to let his inner playa get too entangled with cray cray types like Elizabeth.

See you next week…over and out.

Comment: Thanks for the list again. Keep em’ coming.

Hey Steve,

First of all, I hope you are having fun with your niece and nephew (who actually looks a lot like you, by the way).

Secondly, I hope you lay into Ashlee this week as much as she deserves. She is getting skewered on Twitter and Facebook but I feel like Chris Harrison was WAY too easy on her on his blog, as were other articles I’ve read that have just summed it up to “girl drama.” I tend to not get worked up about reality show mean people, but Ashlee really got me ragey last night. Probably because I know someone who did the exact same thing to one of my close friends as she did to Clare. To me Ashlee is a type of vile that is a first for this show. “Villains” like Courtney, Bentley, Bokowski and Kalon are at least entertaining because they are clearly playing a role and hamming it up. Crazy girls like Elise and Tiarra in the end only hurt themselves. Ashlee has been deliberately out to hurt Clare for no particular reason. She is a combination of both nasty and crazy all trying to hide under this Christian/former orphan facade. I think she is genuinely messed up in the head and needs some serious help.

And yes, I know I am probably getting too worked up about this. It’s probably just because this really hits home with me since the “Ashlee” I used to know really messed up the lives of some people I care about.

Comment: You’re right, you probably shouldn’t get so worked up. AshLee definitely put her foot in her mouth this week that made her look petty and vindictive, but I kinda forget it about 5 seconds after it’s over. Don’t let it bother you so much.

Hey Steve,

I noticed that during one of Lacy’s ITM’s she referred to Ashlee’s “conscious” as opposed to her “conscience” regarding her guilt in the Clare/Ashlee battle. Maybe only 80/40 of the viewers noticed but I sure did. Thank goodness she’s cute. Take care.

Comment: I was in the 40% then since I don’t remember that.

Hi Steve,

Not that this is relevant anymore but I certainly found it amusing when I was watching Bachelor Paradise on a local Baltimore station and came across this commercial for a local plumbing/electric company with none other than Brian Jarosinski.

He’s really made a name for himself in the entertainment world huh? lol.

Thanks for all the great blogging on the shows!

Comment: Wow. He seems to be doing really well for himself.

Hey Steve,

Maybe it’s just because AshLee seems to have a screw loose, but can you shed some light on why she found the possible ocean sex (Clare and Juan Pablo) so offensive and trashy? I mean we all assume Clare slept with him in the fantasy suite, so was it just the fact that it was outdoors in public? So soon into the season? Maybe it’s just me but I was kind of baffled and don’t get why this was even a topic of conversation in the first place.

Thanks and have fun on your Vegas trip!

Comment: I really have no idea. You’re right, I think people do assume that JP and Clare had sex in the fantasy suite, so having it a couple weeks before in the ocean wouldn’t make it all that bizarre, would it? Even though it didn’t happen, what would’ve been the big deal if it did? I think it would’ve made JP look a hell of a lot worse than Clare, if it’s even possible for JP to come across as bad as he did.

Hi Steve!

Just curious. I have seen on Instagram and twitter a lot of this girl Jaclyn Swartz. I skipped a few seasons of the bachelor and bachelor pad so I’m lost as to who she is. Can you give some background. Mainly because I see she’s with Chris the sleaze bucket, in a lot of their pictures. Are they just fiends or what? She was on Ben’s season and “Bachelor Pad 3.”

Also, I noticed that Graham and Sarah seem to be hanging out a lot and doing interviews together. Are they more than friends? I really hope so. They both seem like really nice and genuine people. No, they are not more than friends.

Last, what happened between Michelle and Graham. They seem to really care about each other! Any insight as to why they didn’t work ok? Not really.

Comment: Ashlee is really coming off very fake. She said that she isn’t they type of person to say mean things but right at the beginning she had it out for Clare. Especially saying “she’s not even pretty” Jealous much? She’s obviously crazy and delusional. No wonder why she’s hot and still single.

Thanks for your time!

Comment: This has not been a good season for AshLee to say the least. In fact, it’s been downright brutal. Pretty much impossible to defend some of the stuff she’s said. Only thing she can bank on is the quotes about Clare not being pretty and stuff like that, was that those were voiceovers and maybe it was said in a completely different context, and maybe not even about Clare. However, trying to convince everyone of that is an effort in futility, so yeah, not a good season for her.

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  1. rob22

    August 28, 2014 at 4:39 PM

    A couple of things. Re: Josh playing golf and goofing off from his “Financial Advisor” gig. The local word is that Josh’s sole client is his brother Aaron, who’s competing for the backup QB spot for the Bengals. So, at this point, it’s barely a real job. The guy is pretty much a classic millennial slacker. Have fun with that Andi.

    And Marquel, I can’t believe he went with the ” I didn’t get it because I was black” line. No Marquel, you didn’t get it because you are boring, possibly gay since you absolutely refuse to get physical with girls, and you chose to swim in the BIP cesspool. Stop with the excuses. You’re not Bachelor material…. Which considering that prior Bachelors include Ben Flatdick, Huan Pah Blow, Jake Pukevelka, and Bob 5.5 Guinney… Your rejection should probably be considered a compliment.

  2. vessel

    August 28, 2014 at 8:42 PM

    Have to agree @rob22. At the Men Tell All his defense was all about “If I had only known everyone else in the house was all about kissing, etc!” Okay, forewarned, and yet you do a spinoff and keep it PG13, or not even? Meh, and people thought he could/should carry a season as the Bachelor? Zzzzzzzzz

  3. mush

    August 29, 2014 at 11:22 AM

    Graham and Michelle were a couple and are now friends. he supported her emotionally when her dad died. hes a true, loyal friend. they will always be real friends. as for Cody, yes hes into the gym and tanning. but so is michelle way into her looks with makeup, hair, spray tanning. and so what. they are fun spirited people. I hope they last a long time. have you seen michelle’s youtube? shes energetic and silly. so is cody. I say its a match made in heaven.

  4. jmania123

    August 29, 2014 at 2:30 PM

    I thought Marquel proved himself to be a dud on this show. He seemed inarticulate and prone to simple observational statements. A few people commented/asked about Jamie in Married at First Sight. It gives a sense as to why she was so messed up on BPad and Ben’s season. Chaotic family background. She breaks down crying when she saw they set her up with an ugly dude who lived at home. Must be too used to guys like Chris Bukowski (or too used by guys like Chris B).

  5. vessel

    August 29, 2014 at 5:29 PM

    @Mush I love Michelle’s Youtube channel. She cracks me up!

  6. karynr

    August 30, 2014 at 9:17 AM

    Totally agree with everyone who thinks Marquel would have been a dud as the Bachelor. He’s either gay or a player and there’s something off about him. I can’t put my finger on it, but he’s one of those people who can fool you into thinking he’s a great guy, but it’s a major façade hiding the real person, which in my experience usually means a lot of anger and turbulence. I, too, thought he was great looking and possibly one of the good guys. I guess a show like BIP is a good place to go to let your true colors come out.

    I haven’t watched this weeks’s shows yet, but look forward to seeing that scumbag Jesse leave at the end. I thought he was cute when he was on Jillian’s season, but after seeing the way he treated Elizabeth Kitt, the guy’s a d***. His family must be so proud. Maybe they can start a support group with Chris Buttkowski’s family…..DFA….Douchebags Family Anonymous.

    I sure hope this is Sarah’s last foray into anything Bach related. Run Sarah Run…..find a nice normal guy and get away from this dysfunctional Bach family!!!!

    If the Michelle/Cody thing is real, I wish them luck. She seems like a person with a good heart, not to mention absolutely stunning. He seems like a sweetheart too. He’s kind of adorable in a goofy way. I guess time will tell with those two. Same with Marcus and Lacy. Isn’t she really involved in her work? It must be hard for her to give that up to move to Dallas.

  7. rob22

    August 30, 2014 at 6:21 PM

    I’m not buying the Cody thing. OK, he puts on a good show, but a meathead is a meathead. Ever see Jersey Shore. When the going gets tough, punches will be thrown. Michelle better have a good woman’s shelter on speed dial.

  8. cjscjs711

    August 30, 2014 at 7:38 PM

    @rob22 and @vessel You should go to Marquel’s blog and tell him that. He won’t read it here most likely. The guy likes to get up on his soapbox about race and will use any excuse.

    Meanwhile he can run around looking for the white half to his black and white cookie, or the vanilla for his chocolate chip cookie, overlook a beautiful African American woman who was obviously attracted to him and choose the white woman who had no chemistry and probably asked him on the date because she didn’t want to step on toes and he was unattached. But in his mind, none of this is race-based when it’s himself doing the choosing.

    The tags on Lacy’s dress. It’s called “wardrobing” and so many of the stylists etc. do it for shoots. It is wrong but people rationalize it. I have found it is more work to find designers who will lend clothing for shoots (free in exchange for images) but it of course is more work getting these connections. Those companies in my experience take the tags off for you and put them back on and the dress probably goes on the discount rack. Not sure the case here – could also have been an ID tag on a mic pack. Very weird place for anyone to put a price tag. Would you think, looking for the price tag on a dress, to unzip the back and look inside, at the bottom of the zipper? I wouldn’t. I’d look in one of the usual places.

  9. vessel

    August 31, 2014 at 12:58 PM

    @rob22 That’s a pretty broad generalization you make about Cody. Because a guy works out all the time and has crazy huge muscles (and btw, isn’t his job personal trainer?) doesn’t necessarily make him capable or inclined towards violence against women. If I read your comment correctly this is what you seemed to suggest. Even putting that aside, isn’t this the guy that Steve basically said is the lone person ever in this franchise he can’t get a single negative piece of info on, all positive glowing praise?

  10. jmania123

    September 1, 2014 at 8:39 AM

    I just read the Marquel blog and found it as inarticulate as he was on the shows. They really need a bachelor who is too timid to kiss the girls and stays in the friend zone. It would have been funny to watch the final 2 both turn him down and say they just wanted to be friends – if any even stuck around that long.

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