Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” and Live Video Chat Tonight at 9:00pm EST/6:00pm PST

Hey Steve, Hope you’re doing well! This email is just my overall opinion of the show so far.

I have to admit, I was pretty skeptical at first. I honestly thought the show was going to be a boring train wreck. But its actually pretty good (relatively speaking). In my opinion, its better than Bachelor Pad because its less of a game show and more like the Real World or Big Brother. I’m enjoying the format of someone new coming every week to change it up a bit. Its kind of interesting that the dates are pretty much the least important aspect of the show. It seems like they only show 2 minutes of them. For being the first season of the show, its pretty good. However, if they were to make a season 2, I think they should change two things:

1. Get better, more “famous” people from the franchise like Jef, Arie, or Courtney. Michelle Money can’t hold the show on her own. I mean who really cares about Lacy or Christie who left day 1 on their seasons? They tried this season. Those people didn’t want to.

2. Change the location. It seems like there is nothing to do, and its definitely translating to viewers. Its also not the ideal place for the women. I feel so bad for them. They all seem sunburnt, peeling, red, and frizzy. I’m surprised they all look as good as they do. Poor Michelle is literally doing everyone’s hair and makeup. If she wasn’t getting paid, I’d feel bad for her. Maybe Hawaii if they made another season? I know watching the show is a job for you, but from a pure production, format point of view, do you like Bachelor Pad, or BIP better?

Comment: No way they’d go back to Mexico next year after all the complaints I’ve heard about how crappy the accommodation were.

Hi Steve:

Who has a better chance of actually getting married out of these engaged and non engaged couples? List in order of most probable to least probable.

JP and Nicki
Andi and Josh
Cody and Michelle
Marcus and Lacy

Comment: I’d say Andi and Josh, followed by Marcus and Lacy, then Cody and Michelle, and of course JP and Nikki bringing up the rear since they’re never getting married.

Hi Steve,

Just wanted to make sure you saw the Marquel blog post today.

Seriously, Marquel? Seriously… it’s like he actually thought he was being considered for the gig. Like there was an actual chance he was in the running. There are so many other reasons why he wasn’t chosen, none of them, as you’ve pointed out time and time again, are because of his race. I bet his time on BIP didn’t help his cause either.

Anyway…. Just ridiculous blog post. All this attention has certainly gone to his head a bit.

So, I’ve talked about your blog so much over the last five years I finally got some of my girlfriends to start reading your blog as well… at least for BIO. YES! Such a win for me. I hate hate hate keeping spoilers internal when we have weekly viewing parties.

Also, FNL and Lost are tied for me. Love when you reference those shows.

Keep it up Steve, we love you.

Comment: I don’t want to say race had nothing to do with him not being chosen. It obviously played some factor since 28 previous seasons of the franchise haven’t cast an African American lead, but I don’t think it played as big a role as he makes it out to be.

Hi, Reality Steve,

Thanks for two days of great columns. Was looking forward to reading both
of them and you didn’t disappoint.

Agreed with everything you said. I only had a couple of comments. There was
one point where Lacy was talking in her ITM, and she was listing the established
couples and when she said “Graham and Bitch AshLee” it was so obvious that
they edited in the word “bitch.” It was said in a much louder voice, and it certainly
seemed like they stuck in that word.

I understand that they edit the way they want, but geez, if Lacy didn’t use that word,
it was completely wrong of them to have done that…….oh, wait…..I forgot for a second
that we’re dealing with the Bachelor franchise and their morals………..
I just need a moment……..OK……. I’m good now. It happens more than you think. I do remember that. But I thought it was a soundbite of when Clare was talking about AshLee. But you may be right. They definitely inserted someone saying the word “bitch” from a conversation that wasn’t from the one they were playing.

Regarding Jesse……I think it’s time for Jesse to realize he’s getting a little long in the tooth to be going on these shows, saying stupid things, trying to sleep with as many girls as he can, etc. ……. Jesse, you are embarrassing yourself, and I’m embarrassed for you as
I watch you on TV in my living room. It’s gone from “he’s a player” to “he’s just sad.” OK, that’s my two cents.

Thanks, Reality Steve!

Comment: I’m sure Jesse doesn’t care. If he did, he wouldn’t have gone on the show.

Hi there Steve

I am glad your spoiling and blogging BIP. I wasn’t going to tune in at first, but I started to follow your blogs on the first couple episodes and I had to see the trainwreck for myself. I think your recaps of Elise really pushed me and it was worth it, she is a real hot mess.

As much as Sarah is a sweet girl, its really hard watching her on BIP. She is so awkward in almost every scene she is in. I totally agree with you about the squirming in your seat while watching her and Robert, its cringe worthy! I dont know what was worse: when they bumped heads on accident at dinner or watching them in the water. Do you think its forced between them ? I know from your spoilers they break up at the end because of her choice but it seems to me Robert isn’t that into it but more into the idea of being on the show.

Comment: My guess is that’s why she dumps him. She doesn’t think he’s all that into her and is there just for TV purposes.

Hi steve, yesterday I noticed a serious editing glitch that I thought was funny. It was when Clare was explaining the love in the house. You hear her say ” even AshLee “the bitch” and Graham found love.” You can so tell “the bitch” was added in there to make Clare sound mean. It was quite funny

Comment: Ahhh, so it was Clare. Yes, that was completely done through editing.

Hi Steve-

Long time reader, first time emailer, blah blah blah. I actually need your blog to get through the show and have convinced so many others to read it. It makes all these train wrecks much easier to watch. I have to admit, I usually end up laughing out loud while reading your recaps. One that always sticks out to me is when you called Clare’s sister queen c***block! Good stuff right there.

My question is this: did you read the letter that Marquel wrote “to the World” on why he was not the next Bachelor? Do you think he was being genuine or what do you think was his purpose? Do you think that ABC will re-think having an African American in the future? I know you say they never will cast an African American lead but do you think this makes them think differently?

Keep on spoiling!

Comment: Marquel is the first African American in probably this show’s history that stuck around long enough, and even made a good enough impression with the viewing audience to even be considered for the role. There just haven’t been that many, if any. If this show is around for another 20 seasons will we see an African American lead? I think so. I just don’t think it’ll be around for 20 more seasons, so that’s why I don’t think there will be one.


JP seems to have had the same spiel every season about the lead being themselves not being a puppet don’t let producers influence etc. I mean it seemed like he got along with some of the producers at the time and milked his 15 minutes, do you know if it really was that bad or he just keeps trying to get attention whatnot out of everyone? Still trying to be relevant despite wanting out and trying to “stay away” from it. What’s your take on that? On social media he still gets reaction both kinds.. It just seems odd.

Comment: JP is a pariah in the franchise now. Production and executives are washing their hands with him. They all know what he’s about so he’s basically yesterday’s news to them. He’s just trying to stay relevant.

Hi Steve

Few questions

1. You mentioned during Andi’s season that Marcus hooks up with lots of women back in Dallas and isn’t the best guy or something to that effect. He’s seemed super sincere on bachelorette and BIP. Is that just an act for the camera or were people wrong about him and he is a good guy? Cause I feel like if he was a ladies man he wouldn’t have stayed so faithful to lacy on a show like BIP. All I know is what I was told from Jenna Page, from the “Kidd Kraddick in the Morning” show who said she’d hooked up with him a couple years ago, and J-Si said he knew two girls that he’d hooked up with. Maybe Marcus sowed all his oats and now he’s ready to settle down with someone he knew for three weeks before proposing. I guess we’ll see.

2. You said Chris Soules has hooked up with girls from the franchise. Who? I’m gonna wait on that because I’m hearing conflicting reports now.

3. What’s up with Sean’s blog? Why were the invited to the Emmys? I used to like this couple but they seem kinda into being famous. I feel like they don’t even have normal jobs….I have no idea. As far as I know, neither of them have a 9-5 job. I don’t know what they do.

4. Why do you do reader emails? You seem to get so angry when people ask “dumb questions” or ask the same question twice. Just curious why you do something that seems to annoy you so much.

Comment: I’m not as annoyed as you think I am. Look at all the questions I answer every week. You just seem to be picking a couple here and there out of 40-50 emails I answer on a weekly basis. Sure, it gets repetitive and annoying at times, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop doing it completely.

Hi Steve,

Was thinking about this season’s couples that should or shouldn’t be.

Clare should have said yes to Cody seeing as he pursues really hard and that’s pretty much what she was looking for. She couldn’t have found a more unwilling candidate to dote on her than Zack. Bottom line she wasn’t attracted to Cody but if she was, she might have a boyfriend right now. It’s possible.

Don’t know the story of Graham and Michele or why they broke up, but they seem like the couple that should be. Watching Michele trying to like Cody as much as he all of a sudden seems to like her is painful. She looked a combination or nauseous and frightened in those photos. All I can think of when I see Cody is gym, tan, laundry. I’m stunned these two are still a couple and that at this point Michele has resigned herself to the belief that she can’t do better. Graham and Michelle aren’t going to be a couple in the future, so you can put that to rest. Only time will tell with Cody.

Graham is ridiculous for continuing to tolerate Ashlee. It’s clear this one isn’t a match. Also, I thought he was pretty irate when Michele told him about the things she said about Clare, but he never took her to task for it unless I missed that part. He seems to be fine with her, unless he’s afraid to stir up the crazy in her that will surely come out if he dares piss her off. I’m interested to see their breakup and what he says to her because I don’t know why he ended it.

Sarah and Robert are probably the most boring couple. No reason why they should or shouldn’t be. Really nothing to say. Same with Marcus and Lacy. This guy wants to be in love BADLY which is strange for a guy and she’s trying not to think about what’s wrong with him since he looks so good.

Comment: Yeah, neither of these couples does anything for me.


Do you think Arie got in trouble for his tweet basically spoiling that Chris was the bachelor? I know he doesn’t have a contract or anything but surely mike fleiss and co were pissed! When were the producers planning on announcing it before Arie stole their thunder? In trouble? No. What can they do at this point? He’s not under any sort of contract. He was bitter they gave it Chris over him so he made it known. I’m sure they didn’t want him to do that, but there’s nothing they could really do once he did it.

Did andi get offered a spot on DWTS and just turned it down bc she’s a bad dancer? I saw an interview saying she didn’t want to do it but didn’t know if that was her choice or ABC’s. Did she not get offered a spot at all? (Maybe Clare got the offer instead– who knows WHAT she was referencing on her exit from BIP?)

Thanks so much and sorry if you’ve already answered these!

Comment: Not sure if she even got offered, I just know she’s not on it. Clare isn’t gonna be on it either.

Hi Steve,

Been reading for years, love your spoilers, love your recaps. Thanks!

A couple Bachelor In Paradise questions:

1) I think Claire is pretty, and among the women I like her the best, but I don’t think she is the most gorgeous woman in the house. Any ideas why so many of the incoming men with date cards asked her on their date? Guess guys liked her.

2) How many days in did Cody arrive (real question, how many days in did Marcus tell Lacy he loved her)? Cody came in about halfway through filming I believe. Marcus was probably 2 weeks into filming when he told her that.

3) Is Kalon really that awful, or was he paid/egged on/etc to milk it? Who really says stuff like that?

Comment: He was playing a role. Not far from who he is as a person based on what I’ve heard, but definitely played it up for cameras.

Do you know any details about why Sarah and Robert broke up or have any update about them now? I realize I may sound like a psycho but I like them together!!

Comment: Not really other than she probably thought he wasn’t there for the right reasons.

Hi Steve-

Do TV show ratings these days take into account everyone that records shows on DVR and watches them later?

Comment: Yeah, ratings are different nowadays. There are the overnights, then later the next day, the adjusted ratings come out. That’s what most advertisers go off of. Then there’s 3 day and 7 day DVR ratings, meaning watching shows within 3 days and 7 days of them airing. It’s all kinda confusing, but most advertisers look at the ratings based off what comes out the next day after the overnights are adjusted. Networks look more to the DVR stuff in terms of deciding whether or not they want to keep a show on air. Maybe it’s ratings aren’t great, but they’re seeing it’s a top DVR show. That definitely helps its chances.

Hey Steve!

So I’ve been watching BIP (I can’t help it…it’s junk food for my brain) and I was wondering what you thought about the edit Marquel got. A couple of the blogs I’ve been reading have been talking about how he seems a lot more pious / holier-than-thou / hypocritical. Do you think this is an intentional edit to make people less annoyed that he wasn’t cast as the Bachelor?

Comment: I don’t think there was anything intentional about his edit. I just think there was more to the guy that was never shown for whatever reason.

Hey Steve!! I’m a new user and just found out about your page from my cousin Kaitlin and I’m OBSESSED already! Anyways I’m loving the gold tattoos being rocked on the BIP do we know what this is? Is it like a henna? I want the deets. Keep doing what you do

Comment: Are they hennas? I thought they were those little stick-on things so popular with all the girls now?

Howdy Steve,

Long time follower of your blog. When I originally read your spoilers I thought you were probably being sarcastic about the “resort” / “‘paradise” they were staying at. However, it’s HORRIBLE! I would love to hear the contestants opinions of it. Honestly this is a new low.

On the plus side for ABC / the Bachelor Producers – I couldn’t bring myself to watch the last season of the Bachelor or Bachelorette, but this show has me tuned in every week. It must be the train wreck phenomenon.

Comment: The Chris Bukowski radio interview I posted last week has his thoughts on how disgusting he thought conditions were.

Hi RS!

I wanted to mention two things to you.

First, I have a friend that has been telling our entire group of friends for years that when you toast, you must look the other person in the eyes, or you will be cursed to bad sex for 7 years. So, it may be a silly superstition. But, it is, at least, a real silly superstition. Oh, I’m aware it’s a superstition. I’ve heard it a bunch of times. I just think it’s completely ridiculous and makes no sense.

Second, for crate training to be effective, you need to be consistent. When I first got my Great Dane, I left him loose all the time. He gradually got more and more destructive when left alone, and so I finally gave in and bought him a crate. He is now crated anytime there is no one home, and he seems perfectly happy. He mostly sleeps when there’s no one there anyway, so he may as well do it inside of a crate so I know he isn’t getting into trouble. You can leave Maddie with a Kong toy with some peanut butter or treats inside, so that she will be happy about being in her crate.

Thanks for a great job of spoiling/making fun of the Bachelor franchise!

Comment: It’ll be tough to do that with Maddie now. I might’ve waited too long to start doing that. I have a feeling she won’t take well at all to me crating her every time I go out. I guess I could try.


Do you have any ideas as to why Kelly (Dog Lover) hates Clare so much? She live tweets BIP and 90 percent of what she says are nasty comments directed at Clare. She will also take other “Bachelor Nation” tweets and somehow make them Clare hate related. It’s kind of bizarre to me, especially since she and Sharleen are/were friends and Sharleen doesn’t seem to have any of these negative feelings based on her blog (which I love and 100% agree with). Did Dog Lover and Clare have some type of huge on screen fight we didn’t see?

And yes, I know you are going to answer “you should ask her yourself”….trust me, plenty of people on Twitter have. She doesn’t respond to them. Again the level of hatred a year after the show finished taping just seems off.

Comment: If she’s not gonna answer on Twitter, then I’m guessing no one will ever know. But they definitely don’t care for each other.

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  1. rob22

    August 28, 2014 at 4:39 PM

    A couple of things. Re: Josh playing golf and goofing off from his “Financial Advisor” gig. The local word is that Josh’s sole client is his brother Aaron, who’s competing for the backup QB spot for the Bengals. So, at this point, it’s barely a real job. The guy is pretty much a classic millennial slacker. Have fun with that Andi.

    And Marquel, I can’t believe he went with the ” I didn’t get it because I was black” line. No Marquel, you didn’t get it because you are boring, possibly gay since you absolutely refuse to get physical with girls, and you chose to swim in the BIP cesspool. Stop with the excuses. You’re not Bachelor material…. Which considering that prior Bachelors include Ben Flatdick, Huan Pah Blow, Jake Pukevelka, and Bob 5.5 Guinney… Your rejection should probably be considered a compliment.

  2. vessel

    August 28, 2014 at 8:42 PM

    Have to agree @rob22. At the Men Tell All his defense was all about “If I had only known everyone else in the house was all about kissing, etc!” Okay, forewarned, and yet you do a spinoff and keep it PG13, or not even? Meh, and people thought he could/should carry a season as the Bachelor? Zzzzzzzzz

  3. mush

    August 29, 2014 at 11:22 AM

    Graham and Michelle were a couple and are now friends. he supported her emotionally when her dad died. hes a true, loyal friend. they will always be real friends. as for Cody, yes hes into the gym and tanning. but so is michelle way into her looks with makeup, hair, spray tanning. and so what. they are fun spirited people. I hope they last a long time. have you seen michelle’s youtube? shes energetic and silly. so is cody. I say its a match made in heaven.

  4. jmania123

    August 29, 2014 at 2:30 PM

    I thought Marquel proved himself to be a dud on this show. He seemed inarticulate and prone to simple observational statements. A few people commented/asked about Jamie in Married at First Sight. It gives a sense as to why she was so messed up on BPad and Ben’s season. Chaotic family background. She breaks down crying when she saw they set her up with an ugly dude who lived at home. Must be too used to guys like Chris Bukowski (or too used by guys like Chris B).

  5. vessel

    August 29, 2014 at 5:29 PM

    @Mush I love Michelle’s Youtube channel. She cracks me up!

  6. karynr

    August 30, 2014 at 9:17 AM

    Totally agree with everyone who thinks Marquel would have been a dud as the Bachelor. He’s either gay or a player and there’s something off about him. I can’t put my finger on it, but he’s one of those people who can fool you into thinking he’s a great guy, but it’s a major façade hiding the real person, which in my experience usually means a lot of anger and turbulence. I, too, thought he was great looking and possibly one of the good guys. I guess a show like BIP is a good place to go to let your true colors come out.

    I haven’t watched this weeks’s shows yet, but look forward to seeing that scumbag Jesse leave at the end. I thought he was cute when he was on Jillian’s season, but after seeing the way he treated Elizabeth Kitt, the guy’s a d***. His family must be so proud. Maybe they can start a support group with Chris Buttkowski’s family…..DFA….Douchebags Family Anonymous.

    I sure hope this is Sarah’s last foray into anything Bach related. Run Sarah Run…..find a nice normal guy and get away from this dysfunctional Bach family!!!!

    If the Michelle/Cody thing is real, I wish them luck. She seems like a person with a good heart, not to mention absolutely stunning. He seems like a sweetheart too. He’s kind of adorable in a goofy way. I guess time will tell with those two. Same with Marcus and Lacy. Isn’t she really involved in her work? It must be hard for her to give that up to move to Dallas.

  7. rob22

    August 30, 2014 at 6:21 PM

    I’m not buying the Cody thing. OK, he puts on a good show, but a meathead is a meathead. Ever see Jersey Shore. When the going gets tough, punches will be thrown. Michelle better have a good woman’s shelter on speed dial.

  8. cjscjs711

    August 30, 2014 at 7:38 PM

    @rob22 and @vessel You should go to Marquel’s blog and tell him that. He won’t read it here most likely. The guy likes to get up on his soapbox about race and will use any excuse.

    Meanwhile he can run around looking for the white half to his black and white cookie, or the vanilla for his chocolate chip cookie, overlook a beautiful African American woman who was obviously attracted to him and choose the white woman who had no chemistry and probably asked him on the date because she didn’t want to step on toes and he was unattached. But in his mind, none of this is race-based when it’s himself doing the choosing.

    The tags on Lacy’s dress. It’s called “wardrobing” and so many of the stylists etc. do it for shoots. It is wrong but people rationalize it. I have found it is more work to find designers who will lend clothing for shoots (free in exchange for images) but it of course is more work getting these connections. Those companies in my experience take the tags off for you and put them back on and the dress probably goes on the discount rack. Not sure the case here – could also have been an ID tag on a mic pack. Very weird place for anyone to put a price tag. Would you think, looking for the price tag on a dress, to unzip the back and look inside, at the bottom of the zipper? I wouldn’t. I’d look in one of the usual places.

  9. vessel

    August 31, 2014 at 12:58 PM

    @rob22 That’s a pretty broad generalization you make about Cody. Because a guy works out all the time and has crazy huge muscles (and btw, isn’t his job personal trainer?) doesn’t necessarily make him capable or inclined towards violence against women. If I read your comment correctly this is what you seemed to suggest. Even putting that aside, isn’t this the guy that Steve basically said is the lone person ever in this franchise he can’t get a single negative piece of info on, all positive glowing praise?

  10. jmania123

    September 1, 2014 at 8:39 AM

    I just read the Marquel blog and found it as inarticulate as he was on the shows. They really need a bachelor who is too timid to kiss the girls and stays in the friend zone. It would have been funny to watch the final 2 both turn him down and say they just wanted to be friends – if any even stuck around that long.

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