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Bachelor in Paradise

“Bachelor in Paradise” Episode 6 Recap

Since last week’s recap worked so well, I figured I’d do it again. Rather than recapping the events of the episode in chronological order, I’ll just talk about what’s going on in each couple’s relationship. As we saw, Brooks Forester and Tasos Hernandez joined the show this week. Sarah’s had a crush on Brooks since Juan Pablo’s ATFR show, and Tasos, well, I guess they brought him on to complete their “scraping the bottom of the barrel so we can get 25 people on this show” list. Although I’m pretty sure the show is gonna be renewed next summer, I don’t know how the hell they’re gonna find 25 relevant people. Yes, I know there will be girls from Chris’ season and guys’ from the next “Bachelorette” season that we don’t know about, but damn. If the format is the same and they’re bringing people in every week, who are the former cast members to bring in that haven’t already appeared? Unless they don’t care who they cast and now that they know, there’ll be people who just wanna come on to be on TV. I guess that’s possible. I take it back. It’ll be a piece of cake casting 25 again next season.

Cody and Michelle

Immediately after last week’s rose ceremony, Michelle is feeling a little uneasy. We find out that Cody told her he loved her, and Michelle doesn’t know if she’s there yet. You know, because she’s only known him less than a week. Does Cody even know Michelle’s last name yet? Does he know her daughter’s name? Man, and I thought Marcus was off his rocker for telling two different girls in a span of three months, who he had known for less than a month each time, that he loved them. Cody has him beat to that. Michelle: “Cody told me he’s in love with me…he said his next girlfriend will be his wife and he wants me to be his next girlfriend…I’ve only known him a week.” I understand Cody is all about being positive and is seemingly the happiest guy on the planet, but saying “My next girlfriend is going to be my wife” is seriously one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard anyone say. How in the world can anyone make that proclamation if they don’t even know who their next girlfriend is going to be? Kind of backwards thinking from Cody. I think he needs to do a few more crunches and think this out a bit longer.

The day after the rose ceremony, Michelle is still worried. While Cody is squatting rocks on the beach and ready to hurl them into the ocean, Michelle needs someone to talk to about her dilemma. And what better man to talk to in all of this show for relationship advice than Jesse Kovacs. Huh? Michelle talks to Graham about everything, yet she sits down 1-on-1 with this nut sack asking for help? Man, that water down in Mexico must’ve been laced with ecstasy or something because Michelle is trippin’. She says she’s feeling overwhelmed and feels like Cody has gone from 0 to 60. And Michelle is still stuck in neutral. Sweet. Car metaphors. Exactly what this show needs. Actually, Cody has pretty much blown out the transmission on whatever car he’s in with Michelle from going to fast from the second he bought it. I think he needs to take it in for a tune up.

Later on, they have a talk on the beach where Michelle says in a voice over she needs to break up with him, although we knew that wasn’t gonna happen. “Cody’s feelings for me are stronger than mine for him.” Cody: “I know I’m scaring you…but it comes from my heart.” Oh, ok. Well that makes it much better then. Just bust out a serenade of “Thrift Shop” and it’ll all be good, Codester. I mean, really. That’s what everyone wants at this point, right? Michelle wants to take it slower, and Cody is already picking out china for their dining room table. After a while, it seems like she’s fine for Cody being so open, thanks him for it, and everything is peaches and cream between the two of them. Well you know, minus the fact that he wants to hang out with her every minute of the day from now until the end of eternity.

Marcus and Lacy

There really isn’t much to say about these two since they have zero drama surrounding them. They had the first date of the episode and Marcus got to go down another ladder into a hole for a date. That’s the second time he’s done that. Well, the second hole we’ve seen him go into. There could’ve been others. Moving on. While in the cave, there are sh*t ton of bats in there, which is freaking Lacy out. Well, I think they’re freaking her out. It’s either that, or she’s petrified of having to pronounce stalactites and stalagmites on national television. When the producer tells her what those are because clearly she had never even heard the words before, let alone know what the hell they meant, she repeated in her ITM that they were surrounded by stalaglites in the cave. Contrary to popular belief, stalaglites are not the creepy cousins of the Stagliano brothers. Just wanted to let you know. Their issue, if you even want to call it that, is that Marcus told her he loved her and Lacy hasn’t said it back since that’s a big deal to her. So not twenty seconds after we hear her telling us in an ITM how important it is to her to say that to someone because she just doesn’t open up to people, she says it to Marcus. Soooooo, how much longer before Lacy is moving to Dallas?

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  1. bigfatwoman

    September 2, 2014 at 10:18 AM

    Wowza…..I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….this show is SO entertaining!!

    It is hard for me to believe that Michelle Money is truly into Cody. I believe that he really is a sweet guy, but C’MON!!! Michelle has several acting credits to her name and I think this gig is more or less one of them.

    I like Sarah. I think she’s very sweet and obviously was cast for that role. However, there’s something I find SO BORING about her. I think Robert seems an equal match to her in that respect.

    Jesse “two miles between my eyes” Kovacs is a repulsive human being. He gives the male gender a bad name. Christy is such a knockout and seems naively sweet. I hope she grows a pair after watching this show.

    Men like Jesse should have their homes painted neon yellow, a siren installed on top of their car and a warning label tattooed across their chests. As my brother so wisely told me once, “some men are just predators.”

  2. mkk2

    September 2, 2014 at 11:09 AM

    hahahaha!! Love that description of how Jesse should be surrounded by warning signs everywhere he goes. Unfortunately, there are always women like poor Christy who fall for his thinly veiled manipulations. I wonder what sort of petri dish of STD’s this guy walks around with. He makes me want to puke.
    BTW, does ANYONE still like Ashlee after watching what a two faced delusional spoiled brat she is?

  3. lolaminn

    September 2, 2014 at 11:27 AM

    Wasn’t that the same cave as the Marcus/Lacy date, but only at night? The exit into the dock area sure looked the same. I’m willing to bet it’s also re-used from the lone-Kalon date as well.

    Hope they all enjoyed swimming through gobs of bat crap.

  4. rob22

    September 2, 2014 at 12:01 PM

    Jesse like so many other men on these shows is mainly in it for the tail. He’s quite a scum bucket. But girls on the show, just like in the real world keep falling for these losers. I don’t know whether it’s Daddy issues or just a misguided belief that spreading their legs for these guys actually means something to them. It does mean something. It means a fun couple of minutes and another fun story to tell the guys. That’s about it. But some girls never seem to get that sad fact.

  5. stacyhmolloy

    September 2, 2014 at 12:17 PM

    In all honesty, Jesse wasn’t Christy’s first douche bag hookup. Like Pavlov’s dog, she’s gone from hooking up with Chris Conte to Chris Bukowski (likes the name Chris) to Jesse. Now onto Brian Osborne. The cycle continues.

  6. tamara

    September 2, 2014 at 3:20 PM

    Is Jesse a douchebag user? yes. Was I glad to see the women confront him? Yes!
    Did he fail at talking his way out of being a coward? No.
    At the same time Christy chose to get extremely drunk and went to at least 3rd base with Jesse, or very close based on the film of them in bed. If you go to bed on the first date and go that far sexually you shouldn’t be surprised he did with another woman too. She is not just a victim here. Hopefully she learned to hold off till she gets to know who she is jumping in bed with.

  7. tamara

    September 2, 2014 at 3:24 PM

    I mean, yes that he failed to talk his way out of being a coward.

  8. anonime

    September 2, 2014 at 3:59 PM

    Still like AshLee ? never did. And why does she look so cross-eyed on BIP ? i didn’t notice that before. Looking at her eyes hurts my eyes.

  9. jmania123

    September 2, 2014 at 5:40 PM

    If they do the show again, I would like them to force some mingling. Maybe a rule against 2 consecutive dates with the same person, a random choice date, etc. – something that gives new people a shot so they don’t walk into a locked/coupled up situation. Then change the rules after there has been sufficient mingling. I loved the bug on Jesse’s white jacket. It was the only thing that wanted to be around him. In Harrison’s blog, he still writes “Zach” instead of “Zack”.

  10. ksrsfan

    September 3, 2014 at 6:00 AM

    I laughed so hard when Zack told Jackie that he had wasted too much time on Clare, and that Jackie was even-keel, down to earth, normal and beautiful, I’ll bet Clare needs a new TV now because she threw whatever she had handy at it upon hearing all that!!

    I think Michelle and Cody make a cute couple and hope they make it. We’ll see….

    Jessie K is disgusting. Wonder who his next prey will be. Maybe after this show women will be aware of the type of creep he really is.

    Marcus and Lacy are just too sweet, they make my teeth hurt. I hope they make it as well.

    Poor AshLee, this girl may need some counselling after this show! I wonder how much of the finale will be about their break up since they had no airtime this week. May have to fast forward through my DVR next week!

  11. bigfatwoman

    September 3, 2014 at 9:58 AM

    I’ve been invited to several festivals this weekend.

  12. gypsy17

    September 3, 2014 at 10:34 AM

    I wish Brooks stuck around for the last episode. How great would it have been if he had to face Des and Chris? Not awkward at all… ha!

  13. paisley17

    September 3, 2014 at 3:15 PM

    Anyone else find Robert to be BORING? He doesn’t care which girl he’s with, he just wants to stil around as long as possible and get more airtime. I wish Brooks had just ignored him and asked Sarah for a date. She would have said yes and he could have stuck around instead of vanilla Robert. *snooze*

  14. rob22

    September 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM

    Brooks should have gone with his real instincts and asked Robert out.

  15. mariet

    September 3, 2014 at 7:37 PM

    @rob22 Seriously. Holy cow!

  16. ganny2jax

    September 6, 2014 at 5:10 PM

    My comment is in regards to Marquel saying his race is why he didn’t get the Bachelor gig…Oh no he didn’t..!! So sick of the race card being played. He was very judgmental and boring, especially sipping on his large glass of wine and telling Michelle she “likes to drink.” And then again, telling Jackie he normally doesn’t kiss on the first date, but he did. I probably wouldn’t have watched if he were the bachelor. It is one thing to have values and morals, and another thing to use them only in certain situations. If these type situations make Marquel uncomfortable, then he needs to stay away. Anyway, I think Chris will make a great Bachelor. Can’t wait to watch.

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