Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise

“Bachelor in Paradise” Episode 6 Recap

Tasos and Christy

Tasos was the second guy to enter the show last night, and it was right after Christy heard the wonderful news that Jesse was running his mouth to everyone about things he did to her. More on that in a bit. Anyway, did you hear when Tasos was walking up the beach someone say, “Is that Chris Harrison?” Ummmm, no. It’s not. And you’re an idiot for thinking that, but good guess. Tasos immediately pulls Michelle aside when he gets to the beach and people think that means he’s going to ask her on a date. Which would then set off the Incredible Hulk in a fit of rage. Graham even thinks that if Tasos asks Michelle on a date, “Cody will eat Tasos…he will eat his right leg like a chicken bone.” I just figured Cody would swallow him whole rather than just gnaw on the guy. Tasos looks to be about 130 lbs soaking wet. I think Cody eats that much in whey protein on any given morning. Hell, Tasos is an appetizer for Cody. Maybe a Tasos and Graham platter would make for a healthy dinner, but Tasos by himself is not nearly enough to satisfy Cody’s appetite and daily caloric intake.

Tasos and Christy’s date was to the Sian Ka’an Biosphere Reserve. Translated: They went in tubes and floated down a lazy river. Quit giving fancy names to bodies of water that looked dirtier than Mexican hotel toilet. Christy began talking about all the dbags she’s dated in the past, again, and Tasos was secretly hoping that one of these days, he could play the role of one of Christy’s dbags. He gets a let up on the rest of them by feeding her grapes as they have a mini picnic. I hope he didn’t steal those grapes from Cody because Hulk might smash. Christy is definitely feeling more wow’ed by Tasos the longer she spends with him and realizes what an assclown Jesse is. Christy: “I definitely rushed kissing Jesse too soon.” It’s kinda hard to feel sorry for Christy at this point considering Jesse’s reputation was clearly intact before he ever stepped foot on this show, Christy was warned about it, knew Jesse’s past, then continued to hook up with him non stop whether she was drunk or sober. It wasn’t until someone had to tell her what Jesse was saying did she all the sudden start hating the guy. If Michelle never told her Jesse ran his mouth, I’m sure Christy would’ve kept the guy around. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Christy doesn’t have the highest self-esteem in the world if she’s constantly talking about all the dbags she ends up with.

Jesse and Christy

Michelle let it be known to Christy that Jesse was running around talking to the other guys about the sexual things he was doing at the resort. The show never went into detail about what Jesse said about each girl, but the camera kept panning on Jackie and Christy since Lucy was gone. Michelle did tell Christy that she thought Lucy was “feeling him up in the van.” Ahhhh, Lucy. The Queen of Handys. This pretty much sets Christy off and she realizes her laundry list of douchebags she’s ever been with has now grown by 1. “He’s a misogynist, a manipulator…(expletive)…Jesse is such a dbag. I hate him.” Tell us how you really feel Christy. Did she NOT think a guy like that would go running to the other guys to tell them what he did? Oh well. This is when Christy started feeling sorry for herself and wanted to leave saying “there’s no one here for me. I’ll leave that in God’s hands.” I’m not sure God played all that important of role in this to be honest. God put Jesse in your life to embarrass you on national television? Probably not. Frankly, I don’t think God cares about “Bachelor in Paradise.” He’s more of a “Mistresses” guy. Plus, he’s got bigger fish to fry. You know, answering which pro athlete is praying to him in any particular minute.

Jesse wasn’t thrilled that Christy went out with Tasos since, well, that gave him less time to fondle her. He also won over plenty of the viewers last night by continuing to call him “Taco.” Awesome. A misogynist and a racist! Congrats on that Daily Double Jesse. I’m sure your parents are proud. So basically even though they never went into detail, it’s to be believed that Jesse played kiss and tell with the guys and explained everything he did with every girl out there, essentially making him the worst human ever. In fact, most of you don’t know this, but Jesse attended the Chris Bukowski School of Douchebaggery…and flunked out. I hear he’s going to re-apply and see if he can pass with flying colors. Hope he does well since he’s completely oblivious to how he’s coming across to a wide ranging audience. If you’re making Chris Bukowski look like Santa Claus, you know your reputation is soiled. Holy crap, Jesse.

At the cocktail party, Jesse decides to tell Christy he’s leaving. That wasn’t good enough, as Lacy and Michelle both corner Christy and have a girl power pow wow. They tell her she needs to confront Jesse and not let him get away with treating women the way he does, so Christy goes after him in the car. She calls him a coward, says he was never there to find a relationship, and she thinks he basically sucks. Which he does. This was done I guess just to add more drama to Jesse’s exit. Throwing Lacy and Michelle on him probably had zero effect on the guy. In one ear, out the other. Like he cares how he’s portrayed on this show. I think they tried to make it more dramatic than it was, but Christy is too nice to go off on the guy. She looked completely uncomfortable confronting him and you know she just did it because she was probably forced to. At least Jesse left with his dignity. He said he’ll be getting invited to parties and festivals once this is over, and will have 16 emails waiting for him when he gets home from people on the show. What he didn’t mention is that of those 16, maybe 4 will be from guys, and the other 12 will be spam emails from Valtrex asking if he could use another supply.

The rose ceremony was about as uneventful as you thought it would be. There really wasn’t much drama. With Jesse gone, there was basically one rose up for grabs, and that was Jackie’s. She was either gonna give it to Zack or Brooks. Considering she broke her own first date rule of no kissing with Zack, wasn’t too hard to figure out who she’d choose.

Lacy gave her rose to Marcus
AshLee gave her rose to Graham
Sarah gave her rose to Robert
Michelle gave her rose to Cody. Or “Cody Code” as she calls him.
Christy gave her rose to Tasos
Jackie gave her rose to Zack over Brooks.

Next week’s finale has all 6 remaining couples being forced to decide whether or not to break up or stay together. Former couples from the show (Des & Chris, Sean & Catherine, Jason & Molly) return to talk to the remaining couples and give them advice on how to make it work in the real world. I don’t think they talk to all 6 though. I highly doubt they talk to Christy and Tasos since those two have known each other about 13 minutes. And I believe Graham breaks up with AshLee before they get to talk to the couples. Lacy and Marcus and Michelle and Cody definitely talk to them. Sarah and Robert and Jackie and Zack are the ones I’m not sure of. However as mentioned on page 1, the spoilers remain the same. The two couples that made it out of this thing – Marcus and Lacy engaged and Michelle and Cody still dating – are the only ones still together. Every other couple broke up and are still broken up.

Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you Thursday.

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16 Comments

16 Comments

  1. bigfatwoman

    September 2, 2014 at 10:18 AM

    Wowza…..I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….this show is SO entertaining!!

    It is hard for me to believe that Michelle Money is truly into Cody. I believe that he really is a sweet guy, but C’MON!!! Michelle has several acting credits to her name and I think this gig is more or less one of them.

    I like Sarah. I think she’s very sweet and obviously was cast for that role. However, there’s something I find SO BORING about her. I think Robert seems an equal match to her in that respect.

    Jesse “two miles between my eyes” Kovacs is a repulsive human being. He gives the male gender a bad name. Christy is such a knockout and seems naively sweet. I hope she grows a pair after watching this show.

    Men like Jesse should have their homes painted neon yellow, a siren installed on top of their car and a warning label tattooed across their chests. As my brother so wisely told me once, “some men are just predators.”

  2. mkk2

    September 2, 2014 at 11:09 AM

    hahahaha!! Love that description of how Jesse should be surrounded by warning signs everywhere he goes. Unfortunately, there are always women like poor Christy who fall for his thinly veiled manipulations. I wonder what sort of petri dish of STD’s this guy walks around with. He makes me want to puke.
    BTW, does ANYONE still like Ashlee after watching what a two faced delusional spoiled brat she is?

  3. lolaminn

    September 2, 2014 at 11:27 AM

    Wasn’t that the same cave as the Marcus/Lacy date, but only at night? The exit into the dock area sure looked the same. I’m willing to bet it’s also re-used from the lone-Kalon date as well.

    Hope they all enjoyed swimming through gobs of bat crap.

  4. rob22

    September 2, 2014 at 12:01 PM

    Jesse like so many other men on these shows is mainly in it for the tail. He’s quite a scum bucket. But girls on the show, just like in the real world keep falling for these losers. I don’t know whether it’s Daddy issues or just a misguided belief that spreading their legs for these guys actually means something to them. It does mean something. It means a fun couple of minutes and another fun story to tell the guys. That’s about it. But some girls never seem to get that sad fact.

  5. stacyhmolloy

    September 2, 2014 at 12:17 PM

    Steve,
    In all honesty, Jesse wasn’t Christy’s first douche bag hookup. Like Pavlov’s dog, she’s gone from hooking up with Chris Conte to Chris Bukowski (likes the name Chris) to Jesse. Now onto Brian Osborne. The cycle continues.

  6. tamara

    September 2, 2014 at 3:20 PM

    Is Jesse a douchebag user? yes. Was I glad to see the women confront him? Yes!
    Did he fail at talking his way out of being a coward? No.
    At the same time Christy chose to get extremely drunk and went to at least 3rd base with Jesse, or very close based on the film of them in bed. If you go to bed on the first date and go that far sexually you shouldn’t be surprised he did with another woman too. She is not just a victim here. Hopefully she learned to hold off till she gets to know who she is jumping in bed with.

  7. tamara

    September 2, 2014 at 3:24 PM

    I mean, yes that he failed to talk his way out of being a coward.

  8. anonime

    September 2, 2014 at 3:59 PM

    Still like AshLee ? never did. And why does she look so cross-eyed on BIP ? i didn’t notice that before. Looking at her eyes hurts my eyes.

  9. jmania123

    September 2, 2014 at 5:40 PM

    If they do the show again, I would like them to force some mingling. Maybe a rule against 2 consecutive dates with the same person, a random choice date, etc. – something that gives new people a shot so they don’t walk into a locked/coupled up situation. Then change the rules after there has been sufficient mingling. I loved the bug on Jesse’s white jacket. It was the only thing that wanted to be around him. In Harrison’s blog, he still writes “Zach” instead of “Zack”.

  10. ksrsfan

    September 3, 2014 at 6:00 AM

    I laughed so hard when Zack told Jackie that he had wasted too much time on Clare, and that Jackie was even-keel, down to earth, normal and beautiful, I’ll bet Clare needs a new TV now because she threw whatever she had handy at it upon hearing all that!!

    I think Michelle and Cody make a cute couple and hope they make it. We’ll see….

    Jessie K is disgusting. Wonder who his next prey will be. Maybe after this show women will be aware of the type of creep he really is.

    Marcus and Lacy are just too sweet, they make my teeth hurt. I hope they make it as well.

    Poor AshLee, this girl may need some counselling after this show! I wonder how much of the finale will be about their break up since they had no airtime this week. May have to fast forward through my DVR next week!

  11. bigfatwoman

    September 3, 2014 at 9:58 AM

    I’ve been invited to several festivals this weekend.

  12. gypsy17

    September 3, 2014 at 10:34 AM

    I wish Brooks stuck around for the last episode. How great would it have been if he had to face Des and Chris? Not awkward at all… ha!

  13. paisley17

    September 3, 2014 at 3:15 PM

    Anyone else find Robert to be BORING? He doesn’t care which girl he’s with, he just wants to stil around as long as possible and get more airtime. I wish Brooks had just ignored him and asked Sarah for a date. She would have said yes and he could have stuck around instead of vanilla Robert. *snooze*

  14. rob22

    September 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM

    Brooks should have gone with his real instincts and asked Robert out.

  15. mariet

    September 3, 2014 at 7:37 PM

    @rob22 Seriously. Holy cow!

  16. ganny2jax

    September 6, 2014 at 5:10 PM

    My comment is in regards to Marquel saying his race is why he didn’t get the Bachelor gig…Oh no he didn’t..!! So sick of the race card being played. He was very judgmental and boring, especially sipping on his large glass of wine and telling Michelle she “likes to drink.” And then again, telling Jackie he normally doesn’t kiss on the first date, but he did. I probably wouldn’t have watched if he were the bachelor. It is one thing to have values and morals, and another thing to use them only in certain situations. If these type situations make Marquel uncomfortable, then he needs to stay away. Anyway, I think Chris will make a great Bachelor. Can’t wait to watch.

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