Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise

“Bachelor in Paradise” Finale Recap

For whatever reason, my Twitter app on my phone was down for about 3 hours last night during the show, hence the reason I wasn’t live tweeting. I had gotten back from Vegas in plenty of time, so, I was ready to live tweet. Not sure what happened. Probably purposely done by Apple so I’d go out and buy the new Iphone6. Hey Apple, no need to do that. I’m gonna buy it anyway I’m sure. For whatever it’s worth, had a great time in Vegas for the bachelor party. Fun catching up with friends and a lot of funny moments throughout the weekend. Including the douchenozzle in the sportsbook who told me that, “Mandalay Bay was made for their pools. The pools make way more money than the sportsbook does.” Ummmm, might be one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. The pools make more money than the sportsbook? You sure about that, big guy? Probably not. And another shout out to the group sitting in front of us in the sportsbook on Sunday who couldn’t have been any more annoying if they tried. You ever want to have a good laugh in Vegas, just visit any sportsbook on opening weekend of NFL season and you’ll see the amount of delusion running rampant. It’s unreal.

So nothing that happened last night should’ve surprised anyone. You were given the episode-by-episode spoilers back in the first week of July, and every arrival, elimination, and ending relationship happened exactly how it was laid out. Been telling you for weeks Cody and Michelle are still together and he was moving to Utah, and based off of all Michelle’s tweets and Instagram videos last night, you can see that’s clearly happened. You know how I feel about people who constantly need to publicly talk about their relationship on social media. It’s already overkill and the relationship is less than a day old in the “public” world. Oh boy.

You knew about Marcus’ proposal back on July 7th, yet tabloid sites aren’t referencing it today. Real shocker there. Marcus and Lacy did an interview with People magazine that went up about seconds after the show aired talking about their courtship. People also has the details on the ring that Neil Lane provided for him.

Chris Harrison provided his assessment of the season in his weekly interview, and he seems to be on Cloud 9 about how awesome this show was. I know that’s what he’s supposed to say, but this is straight up delusional if he thinks it was this good. Really Chris? You want to see more of Brooks next season? Chris goes overboard in most interviews he does, but this one sure seems to take the cake.

Lets take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? Remember the season preview for “Bachelor in Paradise?” Looking back on it now, this preview is a joke:

There were so many things in that preview that weren’t even shown during the season. “There was blood everywhere” – we never got that. The scene with the handcuffs that made it seem like someone was getting arrested – never addressed. On and on and on and on this goes with quick soundbites over video footage that didn’t even match up. So ultimately when the season preview for Chris’ season comes out sometime in December, just keep this preview in mind and know that the preview for the season isn’t half as dramatic as they make it seem.

Speaking of Chris’ season, I’m almost positive filming begins next week. I just don’t know exactly what day yet. My guess is that we’ll see Chris in the audience at the DWTS premiere Monday night, and the meet and greet will take place probably Tues or Wed night. If I find out the correct date I’ll let you know, but I do fully expect to see him at the DWTS premiere next Monday. As for Chris’ girls, the more I start finding out, I’ll let you know accordingly. There is no set day or time as to when I’ll start releasing them. I just do it when I feel like it, so follow me on Twitter for updates on when that will be.

Good to know I’ll be employed for another year with the “Bachelor,” “Bachelorette,” and “Bachelor in Paradise” all returning for 2015. These next few months are pretty slow for the site even though I’ll be spoiling what I can of Chris’ season as it films. Starting next Monday though will be the return of “Daily Links.” If you weren’t around last year when I did this, I basically just posted links every day to pop culture, entertainment, and sports stories that I think you might find interesting. Rather than search the internet all day long for stuff, I put it all in one neat column for you. So get ready for that starting next Monday. The final “Reader Emails,” and “Dr. Reality Steve” until next season will be on Thursday, and the final live video chat until 2015 will be Thursday night. Hope to see you then.

Also, friend and former “Bachelorette” contestant Richard Mathy has a kickstarter campaign for a brewery he is starting with a buddy in upstate New York that you can donate to now. Richard is a great guy and this is a venture I know he’s pretty passionate about, so if you want to help out in any way, use that link to donate.

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  1. Jman123

    September 9, 2014 at 11:16 AM

    I have yet to see it as ABC “needed” to air the football game on top of having it on ESPN. I’m sure the cast and crew were happy to see the finale scheduled for around 1:30 am. Maybe Robert can become the spokesman for those pajama jeans I have seen advertised.

  2. shouldbeworking

    September 9, 2014 at 11:22 AM

    Does anyone else wonder about the ludicrousy of this show, where 6 supposedly intelligent individuals, and a host, are standing around clapping, crying, and hugging two people that got engaged after knowing each other for only a few weeks? Sometimes I wonder about MY taste in the TV shows I choose to watch. I thought the ending last night was lame and I had to fast forward pretty much through it all.

  3. shouldbeworking

    September 9, 2014 at 11:23 AM

    Oh, and as for Robert…glad Sarah called him out. She is way too good for him.

  4. erin4

    September 9, 2014 at 12:02 PM

    “But it still doesn’t change the basic premise of the show which is no challenges, no money, and no strategizing. Ultimately, if you’re basing the premise of your show around people hanging out for 3 weeks and being forced to decide whether they want to continue seeing each other or not, you don’t really have a solid foundation of a show. But hey, that’s just me.”

    Not just you, Steve. That’s the entire reason I only watched the first episode of this show. Boring!

  5. mush

    September 9, 2014 at 12:31 PM

    the bachelor and its spin off are so popular and well established within the American culture now (falling in love after a day or two, getting engaged after a week or two, talking incessantly about your feelings, making them up if you don’t have them yet and actually believing yourself) that abc can pull off a show like this with the only premise being hanging out and maybe hanging out even after the show stops filming.

  6. angelfish

    September 9, 2014 at 12:41 PM

    It was trashtastically awesome to me, and I’ll tune in again next year. As long as they have the same editors and cue up the same snarky & sarcastic end credits and updates, I’ll be happy.

    Re: Brielle vs. Olivia and “cute boy” situations, Michelle has dated before and has had to explain certain things to her daughter. If Olivia has 2 parents in her home, she’s obviously not had those kinds of conversations with her mom. Children of single parents and children of married parents may learn different life lessons at different ages. It doesn’t mean either is right or wrong, it all depends on the child.

  7. caffeinequeen

    September 9, 2014 at 1:29 PM

    I was puzzled by some of the same things Steve brought up. Why would these people need to make a commitment then and there about dating once they go back home? And the veiled threat, “Don’t try to fool yourselves or try to fool me.” Because…. ??? And why did the pairs who decided not to stay together have to leave immediately? To save ABC from another night’s lodging and food expenses?

    As for Graham– If he had wanted a nice vacation, all he needed to do was continue to hang out with AshLee despite all the warning signs. That’s what Marcus and Lacy got: a relaxing vacay in Tulum. Neither was going to be sent home unless they did something different with the show format and made them compete to stay a la Bachelor Pad.

    Sarah – Maybe Robert wasn’t into her. Maybe he was cautious because he could tell how much more emotionally invested she would become if they took their relationship to the next level. Why didn’t they just talk about it? Sarah only thought her night with Robert was a fail after she heard TMI from Michelle (especially) and Lacy about their nights.

    When this returns next year, I am sure I will find myself watching for the entertainment value. I hope they do something to the format so there’s more incentive to mingle – something/anything to make it more interesting.

  8. bigfatwoman

    September 9, 2014 at 1:30 PM

    @shouldbeworking….I was thinking the same thing last night about how ludicrous the premise is of getting engaged after 3 weeks, but then I thought The Bachelor/ette is not that much different — so the whole franchise is really quite ridiculous.

    I kinda lost a little love for Sarah last night. I thought that comparing her relationship to the other two dumb couples was really junior highesque. She wants the “hot” guy to ravage her in the fantasy suite yet there is nothing confident or sexy about her.

    I’m sorry, I’m sure I’ll get lambasted for this — but the arm thing has got to be intimidating for a guy. No one can tell me that when she puts that stump on the picnic table, that it doesn’t look odd and potentially painful. Do you grab the arm during sex? Do you watch the blow job while one arm is placed on the bed and the other is dangling in the air?

    She is fishing out of a pond until she gets a prosthetic. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.

  9. Scout

    September 9, 2014 at 1:33 PM

    Those end updates were pure gold! I nearly cried I was laughing so hard! It completely made up for how awful the show was. I can’t believe Steve didn’t mention them.

  10. angelfish

    September 9, 2014 at 4:02 PM

    Kalon in his “I Heart Juan Pablo” t-shirt was hysterical, as were the updates on Bukowski & Elise, and the raccoon!

    They’ll have to do some tweaks to it for sure, but as anything with The Bachelor/Bachelorette, it will bring in ratings no matter what. They’ve got another cash cow without having to actually fork out cash.

    And I’m betting some of the previous contestants that didn’t do it this season will do it next season.

  11. rob22

    September 9, 2014 at 5:38 PM

    BFW: oh no you didn’t!!!

    Ha! I’ve been thinking similar stuff all through the season. But I was too chicken to put it out there. Didn’t think it would go over well…. And that’s me saying that!

    Like, wouldn’t it have been awesome if she got pissed at Robert and beat him with her stump! It would have been great if she was the type to do something that. And reality folks…. Robert had to be thinking “if I do her, I guess I’ll have to touch it…. And OMG what if she tries to stroke my back with it!!!” Dude was probably freaking out of his mind thinking about stuff like that.

    That aside, if you’re looking for a hookup, you want someone not too bright and not too fragile. Someone like Clare that will never really put two and two together. And you don’t want someone that’s going to tear up and become a blubbering mess of insecurity. Then you’re stuck trying to console her. Sarah’s just isn’t hookup material. So, Roberts best bet is to pull a stall… The old, “gee I’m really tired” routine. Kinda old school, but it does the trick. He didn’t have a lot of options if he wasn’t planning on doing her. Faking a heart attack would have been a little overboard in my opinion.

  12. kinbville

    September 10, 2014 at 9:32 AM

    BigFatWoman and Rob22, you both are awesome and I totally agree with your comments! Yes, Sarah’s arm is difficult to look at and would take some getting used to. She has to understand that and accept it as reality. She is a beautiful girl and honestly, I don’t see how she has trouble finding a boyfriend. But I did totally lose respect with her after she went off on Robert for not “molesting” her in the fantasy suite. Uh Sarah, just like a woman doesn’t HAS to have sex with you, neither does a guy. Has it ever occurred to you that MAYBE he was trying to be respectful and a gentleman. He has to let you unbutton his pants or you kick him to the curb. YEESH! If that’s all you need to make you feel validated, I assure you that there are tons of guys in any bar on Saturday night that will oblige, especially now that you told all of America that you expect sex, dammit!

  13. mush

    September 10, 2014 at 12:46 PM

    after graham left sarah thought the other guys would get cold feet too, that hes insecurity in his own relationship would rub off on the other guys. her thoughts are so strange. her missing arm is strange but not so strange to not hook up with her if she was hot, which she is, and if she was confident and fun.

  14. Jman123

    September 10, 2014 at 1:50 PM

    When asked what went wrong with Robert, Sarah replied “I’m stumped.”

  15. addicted2rs

    September 11, 2014 at 8:47 AM

    Robert never seemed that into Sarah. He was clearly trying to stay there for the vacay or camera time. He stalled at kissing her, but he had no problem kissing Lacy minutes after meeting her.

    He just wasn’t into Sarah. Hopefully Sarah will get a prosthetic. Why in the world wouldn’t you get one if you had a missing limb?

  16. missannmcd

    September 12, 2014 at 4:20 PM

    I do think Sarah’s arm might be a source of anxiety at first. If she showed some confidence and inner security though, I would think a guy could get past that. She definitely needs some pointers in being sexy, but not trashy like the other slits…haha!

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