Reality Steve

The Bachelor 19 - Chris

The “Bachelor” Chris Episode 1 Recap Including Next Week’s Dates

In addition, from the Dec. 30th column, an explanation about the limo entrances you saw last night:

-The limo entrances from the girls is up next, and here’s what’s interesting. They show us a little short clips of 3 limo’s with 5 girls each in them as they’re toasting to Chris. But then when we see those first 15 girls exit the limo, they are in completely different order. Not that this is any major news because they do this every season, but the fact they showed which girls were in which limo in the first 15, they basically gave it away that it’s not the order they came out in. The actual real order that the girls exited the limo were:

Limo 1: Kelsey, Megan, Britt, Ashley I., Reegan.
Limo 2: Ashley S., Mackenzie, Whitney, Nikki, Amanda.
Limo 3: Tara, Jillian, Kaitlyn, Amber, Trina, Tara again (I’ll explain)

The actual chronological order that we saw last night of who exited when was:

Limo 1: Britt, Whitney, Kelsey, Megan, Ashley I.
Limo 2: Trina, Reegan, Tara, Amber, Nikki, Tara again (hang on)
Limo 3: Amanda, Jillian, Mackenzie, Ashley S., Kaitlyn.

Some notable limo exits:

-Chris has said in every interview he’s done that Britt gave him the greatest hug he’s ever gotten in his life. Is it clingy if the first girl out of the limo hugs you and starts crying before she even says her name, or just plain crazy? And considering Britt walks around Hollywood aimlessly hugging strangers, should Chris really have felt that important?

-Whitney tells us she’s watched the show since high school and even though there have been great guys before him, she wouldn’t be on the show if it wasn’t for Chris. This made Chris feel special, and he really appreciated the fact that Whitney brought her two best friends, Alvin and Simon, along for this journey with her.

-Ashley I. came out strutting her stuff Kim Kardashian style. They’re like clones. Well, outside of the fact that Ashley’s body is height/weight proportionate and her ass doesn’t go on for days. Her eyebrows do though.

-Not like we ever thought in a million years someone who even sold human cadaver tissue for a living would give Chris a human heart, but geez, at least make it look real. Reegan’s fake heart from 8th grade biology class covered in cherry glaze fooled nobody.

-Tara is a disaster. I think that goes without saying. I know the gimmick of daisy dukes, flannel shirt, tank top, and boots was all pushed on her by production, but it just looked completely tacky. Then to see how she handled herself the rest of the night, I mean, she deserves to be made fun of.

-Amanda’s gimmick could’ve worked but with the thickest Chicago accent this side of the Bill Swerski and his group of Bears superfans, it had no chance. She was basically impossible NOT to find in the house after he heard what she said to him.

-Jillian’s flexing should’ve been enough to scare Chris away, but apparently it didn’t. I mean, if a girl can dead lift more than I can, I think I might run the other way. Probably should just start calling Jillian “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider” at this point.

-Here’s what’s funny about Kaitlyn’s entrance. When one of the first promos of the season ran for the show, they show Kaitlyn saying this:

Yet, when we see it last night, they have her saying “You can plow the ________ out of my field any day.” So like I suspected, she never cursed to begin with, they just made it seem like she did. Nice try, editors.

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21 Comments

21 Comments

  1. heliofan

    January 6, 2015 at 1:36 PM

    As an alumnus of THE Ohio State University, I won’t be watching next week. Will DVR and watch on Tuesday. Go Bucks!

  2. rob22

    January 6, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    I couldn’t make it past the first little bit. I did see Josh being led around by the collar. And I woke up briefly to see Brooks out himself with an “I Love Chris” sign. Good job Brooks. Be loud, be proud. But seriously, this show is a great solution for insomnia. I slept better last night than I have in a month. I’ve seen the drunk ho routine before. I didn’t need to see it again. Nothing else of much interest. I did wake up and catch Whitney for a sec. Her voice was a little odd, but it didn’t bother me that much. It may be one of those things that starts to get to you after a while. I had a girlfriend once that giggled incessantly. At first it was cute. Then is was tolerable. Then it was I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Maybe that’s the way it will be with Whitney.

  3. jezziebezzie

    January 6, 2015 at 2:34 PM

    ABC has to be happy with last nights ratings over last year considering the ad spends side by side…
    I don’t recall seeing more than a couple of ads for Farmer Te…er, Chris. Compare that to how much they put into that ridiculous “Juan-uary” Campaign they did, which…to my sadistic delight…blew up in their faces & gave them ZERO payoff in return.

  4. kmril

    January 6, 2015 at 4:03 PM

    I watched this show with my daughters who are in college last night. We like to read your final four first and then watch. I like Chris more than I thought I would. I just don’t see many of these girls being the “farming” type. Whitney’s voice is so annoying. I can’t believe she wins based on her voice. Kim Kardashion look a like acts just like Kim. They need to change the format or something though. 3 hours was way too long! Maybe have first impression rose chosen by tweets or add a rose chosen by viewers. It’s just so boring and the edits are pretty obvious. That one girl can’t help it if she has big eyes. That was so mean! My youngest daughter only lasted 11/2 hours and couldn’t take it anymore. The promos about something happening during the rose ceremony were bogus as usual. I usually start watching when the number of women dwindles down to 10 or so. Just watched last night because my girls were home. Impressions: Chris isn’t as bad as I thought. The women are pretty but obviously desire fame not farming. Thankful I can read your site – makes watching a little better.

  5. lcs85

    January 6, 2015 at 4:49 PM

    @Kmril Only the studio audience part of last night was live. Filming finished months ago, so it would be impossible to have people at home watching choose who should get the first impression rose or an extra rose. Unless they have a time machine to use for next year, now that would be a gimmick to get people to watch. Not like they need ways to get people to watch though…

    The girl with big eyes could kind of help it. She was basically opening up her eyes as wide as possible and staring at Chris. It was creepy. I’m guessing someone once told her that her eyes are her best feature, so she tries to make them as noticeable as possible.

  6. ladyjane747

    January 6, 2015 at 7:15 PM

    I don’t really think the whole Juanuary thing or even choosing JP DID blow up in their faces. His was one of the highest rated Bachelors ever – just look at RS’s numbers in this column. They don’t care that everyone hated him and he didn’t propose – more controversy, more people talking about it, more people watching = more money.

  7. bazooka

    January 6, 2015 at 9:08 PM

    Anyone else notice it was light outside by the time they did the exit shots after the rose ceremony? That’s brutal!

  8. deedee99

    January 7, 2015 at 1:45 AM

    Britt didn’t say she dated someone for 3 years and they did not have sex…she said that her last relationship was 3 years ago, and they did not have sex.
    I’m paraphrasing…

    She could’ve been with the guy only weeks or months, who knows?

  9. arco5986

    January 7, 2015 at 6:31 AM

    Just curious, is Whitney’s nose job speculation or fact? The pictures of pre-nose job were posted 30 weeks ago on Instagram it says, and 29 weeks ago for post-nose job. This wouldn’t really make sense since it takes longer than a week to heal (i.e. take off bandage & not have bruises and swelling) from a nose job. I’m guessing it’s just the angles.

  10. erolyn

    January 7, 2015 at 7:36 AM

    I honestly didn’t believe “crazy eyes” were a thing until I saw Ashley S.’s face. She has the CRAZIEST EYES I have ever seen.

  11. ccc312

    January 7, 2015 at 10:01 AM

    @arco5986 The date someone posts a photo on Instragram is not directly correlated to the date that particular photo was taken. She’s clearly had a nose job. I don’t think it’s a big deal, though. It definitely gives her a more refined, elegant appearance. (She likely had a hyponasal quality to her her voice prior to rhinoplasty, but it likely made it worse, considering how much the nasal cavity was narrowed.)

  12. sunday

    January 7, 2015 at 10:13 AM

    I had to laugh at the whole ‘red carpet’ theme last night! Could they get any more over the top? The crowd standing on the red carpet consisted of past bachelor and bachelorette contestants who were supposed to be interested in who Chris Harrison was talking to during interviews…however, instead they ignored him and only looked his way when propmted by Chris after he said “Give it up for Nicki” (or whoever). Then they turned around and clapped quickly, then went right back to talking to each other. That was a cluster-you-know-what! The one horrible thing that stayed stuck in my mind though was after the premier, Chris H. asked Michelle Money what she thought of Britt (the waitress) and all Michelle had to say was that she heard Britt never took a shower (or something to that affect) OMG! That girl’s claws are long! What a rude remark. I think M. Money is messed up in the head, personally.

  13. rob22

    January 7, 2015 at 10:33 AM

    The whole Faux Red Carpet thing is just a ripoff of a typical Corporate America gadget. They invite their clients to events, have a red carpet, and employees act as paparazzi and fans. Nobody at the event, of course, is famous, a paparazzi or a fan. It’s just all contrived to look that way. Everyone is coached ahead of time on how to act. It’s pretty stupid really, but clients seem to enjoy the attention…. just like the ex-Bachelor contestants love the attention. That’s the only reason they’re there, of course. When you get an opportunity to extend your 15 minutes, you take it. I mean Brooks? He’s known for getting to the F2 and bailing out in an epic cry-fest (leading to an epic RS fail), being suspected of being gay in the gayest Bachelor ever, and for liking to nail older women (Mommy issues?). That’s not exactly fame to be proud of. But there he was. Butt-kowski was there too…. gag…. signing autographs. I mean really? How does this guy keep getting invites? Who is he blowing that keeps getting him these gigs?

  14. kelly5

    January 7, 2015 at 12:27 PM

    Wow, when I read in the recap that Chris H slapped Farmer Chris across the face, I thought Reality Steve made it up! I thought this season is so boring, now RS is throwing random stuff in there to make it more interesting. So I was actually surprised and had to rewind and watch the awkwardness twice when it happened on the show. What the heck was that? I would’ve edited it out.

  15. karynr

    January 7, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    Don’t have time to write my thoughts yet….just watched it last night.

    But I totally agree with you Rob. Why are we still being subjected to Puke-owski. I had just eaten dinner and it made me kind of nauseous to see his sleazy face again.

    That red carpet event was so funny.

    More later.

  16. juicylipz29

    January 7, 2015 at 4:06 PM

    The red carpet was a waste of time..No one cares about these past contestants they all hungry for fame…And i agreed with you steve nikki did got a boob job.

  17. tamara

    January 7, 2015 at 8:51 PM

    Whom else was on the red carpet? I couldn’t remember some of them. I think I saw Dylan.

  18. bachelorfan4ever

    January 8, 2015 at 7:27 AM

    I wasn’t surprised that Brittany Fetkin didn’t get a rose, maybe Chris was thinking, she might have a boyfriend back home lol, following in the footsteps of bachelorette contestant wrestler Justin “Rated R” Rego. Whenever anyone in the entertainment industry comes on the show it casts a shadow of doubt that they are really there for love.

  19. sweething

    January 8, 2015 at 12:45 PM

    You know I love your blog tremendously! You are rarely wrong! 😉
    However, Brit said the “last time she was in a relationship was 3 years ago and they didn’t have intimacy” That’s a little different than “3 years in a relationship without intimacy” Although it is possible! You know my 3 beautiful daughters and Tenley and their stories 🙂

  20. cjscjs711

    January 8, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    That Chris had the ‘luck’ to be engaged once before really says nothing about current prospects in a small town. Not to mention that your pool of serious partners gets smaller with age, even for men over 30. The guy obviously wants a big family so for that his best bet is a woman under 30. Just the way fertility works. So he’d really have to go driving around searching other cities to try to find a connection.

    Andi/Josh remark about not really planning the wedding sounded like trouble and he acted like he could hardly wait till it was over (I was hoping, the Red Carpet, but guess it was more…) and Andi was stroking his back as though for one of the last times.

    I’d been so over-prepared for Whitney’s voice that when I finally heard it, it didn’t sound as bad as I’d imagined. She’s one who should really look into voice therapy. It would help her and the people around her more than I think she realizes.

    The eyes – as a photographer I see that type of wide-eye in amateurs often. If cameramen really cared, they’d have told her to relax her eyes – that’s what we usually do. Instead they moved in with a wide angle to exaggerate them for television.

  21. pattycakes

    January 8, 2015 at 2:59 PM

    Nikki had the boob job before going on the bachelor. Can’t believe you didn’t notice. Just FYI. 🙂

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