Reality Steve

The Bachelor 19 - Chris

The “Bachelor” Chris Episode 1 Recap Including Next Week’s Dates

-At this point after the first 15 girls have exited the limos, Chris Harrison joins Chris, asks him what he thinks (even slaps him across the face), and tells him to go inside and get to know the women. Chris seems confused since there’s only 15, but goes inside anyway. Once inside, the women start talking about why Chris is inside while then there’s only 15 girls there. And this is another running theme through the night, having all the girls question when and if there are more girls coming. Kaitlyn announces she has a joke to break the tension in the room, but Chris wants to make a toast first, and then he says she can tell her joke. He does, then the floor is yours Kaitlyn. “Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? Because he wanted to find a tight seal.” Yeah, I’m guessing we’re gonna get a whole lot of that this season from Kaitlyn. She’s essentially this season’s comic relief like Kelly Travis last season, but with more crude jokes. Megan’s edit seems to come to the forefront as she admits, “I didn’t even really get it. That’s just me. Something’s not clicking” as she knocks on her head. Wow.

-One other thing to mention is why exactly were all these women freaking out over if/when more women were coming? A lot of them admitted to watching the show. They’re aware of what happens every season. No season has ever had less than 25 contestants, so why they were making a big deal out of it was nonsense. Of course more women were coming. Like they’re really going to do a season with 15 women? Really? C’mon. Think people. It was such a big deal they were making about it before the other 15 showed up and by the way they were acting, you’d think that this was something brand new to them. There are some that even ask, “How many usually are here?” Then there are people like Tara who are making love to their Jameson on the rocks and are in the early stages of hot messed-ness. Yes, that’s now a word.

-Normally all 25 (or 27) would exit the limo, then the lead goes inside once they arrived to get alone time with all of them, so that’s where this was done a little differently. Chris started his mingling with the first 15, while the next 15 hadn’t even arrived yet. In real time, it was close to 3 hours from the time the first group of 15 arrived to when the second group of 15 did.

-Chris first pulled aside Britt for some alone time, and if you read Chris Harrison’s preview of the “5 To Watch”, it’s pretty accurate what he said about Britt. Chris absolutely was enamored with Britt last night, and if the season ended after one episode, he would’ve ended up with her. Britt makes sure he takes her up on his offer for a free hug, and they have another long, sexually filled hug in which they almost ended up kissing. Britt says she felt it, they looked like they were going to, but they didn’t. It was obvious they both wanted to, but for whatever reason, they didn’t. I guess that would’ve made him seem pretty horny if, even though he didn’t know at the time if more girls were coming, he kisses the first girl he talked to. So he held off. For a few hours at least.

-Chris gets alone time with Whitney and she tells him she makes babies for a living. Then asks him if “y’all inseminate hogs.” He says he doesn’t, but people that he works with does. She now thinks the two of them are like kindred spirits since they have the whole baby making thing in their profession. It is at this moment where I realized 11 episodes of Whitney’s voice might cause me to paper cut my eyeballs til’ I’m blind. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. However, maybe Whitney talks like that because she’s had a nose job. Don’t believe me? I’d say this is all the proof you need.

Pre nose job:

Whit1Whit2

Post nose job:

Whit3

Hey, I’ve got no problem if she wants to get herself a nose job. To each their own. But since her voice was a huge topic of conversation on Twitter last night, maybe there’s a possible reason behind it. Do I think she sounded like she gargled razor blades before she had a nose job? No. But could her high pitched squeal now possibly be attributed to it? Maybe. I don’t know. Just throwing it out there. Whatever the case, I loved her in “Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.”

-Chris then comes looking for his secret admirer who gave him the note out of the limos. He realizes it’s Amanda because of the thick Chick-ahhhh-go accent she has. I wonder how long it’ll be before Amanda tells him she lives at home, doesn’t like paying bills, doesn’t like cleaning, and doesn’t like cooking? I’m sure that’ll be a huge feather in her cap that’ll move her right to the front of Chris’ list currently being occupied by Britt and….well, Britt at this point. Although he likes Whitney too, Britt has a huge lead.

-Chris Harrison then joins the party again and tells the girls he needs to steal Chris away. He brings him out front and tells him he’s got more women coming, while all the girls run to the windows of the mansion to watch as the other girls arrive. Something they’ve never done before, even though they obviously could since there are always people in the mansion while others are arriving. I think it was Jillian that even referred to the next 15 as “The Others” since they felt like they’d staked their claim to Chris first since they had 3 hrs with him before “The Others” arrived. It really was a whole bunch of nothing, but something different from season’s past. Just imagine if they brought in another 15 girls? We could’ve called them the Dharma Initiative.

-There definitely was less attention focused on the next 15 girls’ arrivals just because they kept cutting back to the girls in the mansion making comments about them arriving, or playing voiceovers of them making catty comments. So the actual real order of when the next 15 arrived were:

Limo 4: Samantha, Michelle, Jordan, Brittany, Nicole
Limo 5: Tandra, Carly, Juelia, Alissa, Kara
Limo 6: Bo, Becca, Tracy, Jade, Kimberly

However, the actual chronological order that we saw was:

Limo 4: Samantha, Michelle, Juelia, Becca, Tandra
Limo 5: Alissa, Jordan, Nicole, Brittany, Carly
Limo 6: Tracy, Bo, Kimberly, Kara, Jade

-The first 3 girls out they were much less focused on what they were saying and their entrances, and much more focused on what the girls watching at the window were saying. But they made sure when Becca made her entrance, you saw her full entrance and it wasn’t until she was done was when they showed someone making a comment. Obviously of the main girls this season, Becca got the least camera time of anyone last night. It’s like she was barely there. No, no, no…don’t go reading into that thinking, “See Steve…they’re hiding her from us because they know you said he’s with Whitney. They’re doing it on purpose to fool you.” They’re not. Don’t know what else to tell ya’.

Some notable limo entrances from “The Others”

-Tandra showed up on a motorcycle, which is something I believe I predicted would happen before she even left for the show.

-Alissa brought a seat belt telling him it’s gonna be a “bumpy ride.” Clever. Now go get me my hot towel and a dish of peanuts, air waitress lady.

-Jordan brought a bottle of whiskey so each of them could take a shot. No proof yet that Tara confiscated that bottle later and downed the whole thing in one swig.

-Nicole wore a pig nose because she wanted to “ham it up for you.” Just stop.

-Carly came out with a Mr. Microphone set and started singing to him. After, “My name is Carly, it’s nice to meet you, in a few weeks, I hope to teach you…” I stopped paying attention and had to clean up the vomit all over my computer.

-Tracy I think had the best gimmick in her entrance, which was she read a note from one of her 4th grade kids that she teaches that was telling Chris why he should pick their teacher. Original, funny, and not over the top. Points for Tracy. I’m still questioning why she didn’t last long. Oh I know. Too normal.

-Jade was shown last. We all know Jade’s past by now, but any mention of it on the show doesn’t come til way later, and I don’t believe any of the girls had a clue about it, nor was it brought up as topic of conversation. If it was, it wasn’t until the episode before she was gone. I think it’s gonna be one of those things where Jade talks about it in ITM’s on when/how she should tell Chris, but no one else knows about it. By the way, Jade is really attractive. She knows it, Chris knows it, and the show knows it. Of course they knew the Playboy stuff would get out, hell, it’s probably the main reason they cast her in the first place. But if you expected her to be this wild child out of the limo, and the chatty girl, and the center of attention, it couldn’t be further from how she acted.

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21 Comments

21 Comments

  1. heliofan

    January 6, 2015 at 1:36 PM

    As an alumnus of THE Ohio State University, I won’t be watching next week. Will DVR and watch on Tuesday. Go Bucks!

  2. rob22

    January 6, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    I couldn’t make it past the first little bit. I did see Josh being led around by the collar. And I woke up briefly to see Brooks out himself with an “I Love Chris” sign. Good job Brooks. Be loud, be proud. But seriously, this show is a great solution for insomnia. I slept better last night than I have in a month. I’ve seen the drunk ho routine before. I didn’t need to see it again. Nothing else of much interest. I did wake up and catch Whitney for a sec. Her voice was a little odd, but it didn’t bother me that much. It may be one of those things that starts to get to you after a while. I had a girlfriend once that giggled incessantly. At first it was cute. Then is was tolerable. Then it was I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Maybe that’s the way it will be with Whitney.

  3. jezziebezzie

    January 6, 2015 at 2:34 PM

    ABC has to be happy with last nights ratings over last year considering the ad spends side by side…
    I don’t recall seeing more than a couple of ads for Farmer Te…er, Chris. Compare that to how much they put into that ridiculous “Juan-uary” Campaign they did, which…to my sadistic delight…blew up in their faces & gave them ZERO payoff in return.

  4. kmril

    January 6, 2015 at 4:03 PM

    I watched this show with my daughters who are in college last night. We like to read your final four first and then watch. I like Chris more than I thought I would. I just don’t see many of these girls being the “farming” type. Whitney’s voice is so annoying. I can’t believe she wins based on her voice. Kim Kardashion look a like acts just like Kim. They need to change the format or something though. 3 hours was way too long! Maybe have first impression rose chosen by tweets or add a rose chosen by viewers. It’s just so boring and the edits are pretty obvious. That one girl can’t help it if she has big eyes. That was so mean! My youngest daughter only lasted 11/2 hours and couldn’t take it anymore. The promos about something happening during the rose ceremony were bogus as usual. I usually start watching when the number of women dwindles down to 10 or so. Just watched last night because my girls were home. Impressions: Chris isn’t as bad as I thought. The women are pretty but obviously desire fame not farming. Thankful I can read your site – makes watching a little better.

  5. lcs85

    January 6, 2015 at 4:49 PM

    @Kmril Only the studio audience part of last night was live. Filming finished months ago, so it would be impossible to have people at home watching choose who should get the first impression rose or an extra rose. Unless they have a time machine to use for next year, now that would be a gimmick to get people to watch. Not like they need ways to get people to watch though…

    The girl with big eyes could kind of help it. She was basically opening up her eyes as wide as possible and staring at Chris. It was creepy. I’m guessing someone once told her that her eyes are her best feature, so she tries to make them as noticeable as possible.

  6. ladyjane747

    January 6, 2015 at 7:15 PM

    I don’t really think the whole Juanuary thing or even choosing JP DID blow up in their faces. His was one of the highest rated Bachelors ever – just look at RS’s numbers in this column. They don’t care that everyone hated him and he didn’t propose – more controversy, more people talking about it, more people watching = more money.

  7. bazooka

    January 6, 2015 at 9:08 PM

    Anyone else notice it was light outside by the time they did the exit shots after the rose ceremony? That’s brutal!

  8. deedee99

    January 7, 2015 at 1:45 AM

    Britt didn’t say she dated someone for 3 years and they did not have sex…she said that her last relationship was 3 years ago, and they did not have sex.
    I’m paraphrasing…

    She could’ve been with the guy only weeks or months, who knows?

  9. arco5986

    January 7, 2015 at 6:31 AM

    Just curious, is Whitney’s nose job speculation or fact? The pictures of pre-nose job were posted 30 weeks ago on Instagram it says, and 29 weeks ago for post-nose job. This wouldn’t really make sense since it takes longer than a week to heal (i.e. take off bandage & not have bruises and swelling) from a nose job. I’m guessing it’s just the angles.

  10. erolyn

    January 7, 2015 at 7:36 AM

    I honestly didn’t believe “crazy eyes” were a thing until I saw Ashley S.’s face. She has the CRAZIEST EYES I have ever seen.

  11. ccc312

    January 7, 2015 at 10:01 AM

    @arco5986 The date someone posts a photo on Instragram is not directly correlated to the date that particular photo was taken. She’s clearly had a nose job. I don’t think it’s a big deal, though. It definitely gives her a more refined, elegant appearance. (She likely had a hyponasal quality to her her voice prior to rhinoplasty, but it likely made it worse, considering how much the nasal cavity was narrowed.)

  12. sunday

    January 7, 2015 at 10:13 AM

    I had to laugh at the whole ‘red carpet’ theme last night! Could they get any more over the top? The crowd standing on the red carpet consisted of past bachelor and bachelorette contestants who were supposed to be interested in who Chris Harrison was talking to during interviews…however, instead they ignored him and only looked his way when propmted by Chris after he said “Give it up for Nicki” (or whoever). Then they turned around and clapped quickly, then went right back to talking to each other. That was a cluster-you-know-what! The one horrible thing that stayed stuck in my mind though was after the premier, Chris H. asked Michelle Money what she thought of Britt (the waitress) and all Michelle had to say was that she heard Britt never took a shower (or something to that affect) OMG! That girl’s claws are long! What a rude remark. I think M. Money is messed up in the head, personally.

  13. rob22

    January 7, 2015 at 10:33 AM

    The whole Faux Red Carpet thing is just a ripoff of a typical Corporate America gadget. They invite their clients to events, have a red carpet, and employees act as paparazzi and fans. Nobody at the event, of course, is famous, a paparazzi or a fan. It’s just all contrived to look that way. Everyone is coached ahead of time on how to act. It’s pretty stupid really, but clients seem to enjoy the attention…. just like the ex-Bachelor contestants love the attention. That’s the only reason they’re there, of course. When you get an opportunity to extend your 15 minutes, you take it. I mean Brooks? He’s known for getting to the F2 and bailing out in an epic cry-fest (leading to an epic RS fail), being suspected of being gay in the gayest Bachelor ever, and for liking to nail older women (Mommy issues?). That’s not exactly fame to be proud of. But there he was. Butt-kowski was there too…. gag…. signing autographs. I mean really? How does this guy keep getting invites? Who is he blowing that keeps getting him these gigs?

  14. kelly5

    January 7, 2015 at 12:27 PM

    Wow, when I read in the recap that Chris H slapped Farmer Chris across the face, I thought Reality Steve made it up! I thought this season is so boring, now RS is throwing random stuff in there to make it more interesting. So I was actually surprised and had to rewind and watch the awkwardness twice when it happened on the show. What the heck was that? I would’ve edited it out.

  15. karynr

    January 7, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    Don’t have time to write my thoughts yet….just watched it last night.

    But I totally agree with you Rob. Why are we still being subjected to Puke-owski. I had just eaten dinner and it made me kind of nauseous to see his sleazy face again.

    That red carpet event was so funny.

    More later.

  16. juicylipz29

    January 7, 2015 at 4:06 PM

    The red carpet was a waste of time..No one cares about these past contestants they all hungry for fame…And i agreed with you steve nikki did got a boob job.

  17. tamara

    January 7, 2015 at 8:51 PM

    Whom else was on the red carpet? I couldn’t remember some of them. I think I saw Dylan.

  18. bachelorfan4ever

    January 8, 2015 at 7:27 AM

    I wasn’t surprised that Brittany Fetkin didn’t get a rose, maybe Chris was thinking, she might have a boyfriend back home lol, following in the footsteps of bachelorette contestant wrestler Justin “Rated R” Rego. Whenever anyone in the entertainment industry comes on the show it casts a shadow of doubt that they are really there for love.

  19. sweething

    January 8, 2015 at 12:45 PM

    You know I love your blog tremendously! You are rarely wrong! 😉
    However, Brit said the “last time she was in a relationship was 3 years ago and they didn’t have intimacy” That’s a little different than “3 years in a relationship without intimacy” Although it is possible! You know my 3 beautiful daughters and Tenley and their stories 🙂

  20. cjscjs711

    January 8, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    That Chris had the ‘luck’ to be engaged once before really says nothing about current prospects in a small town. Not to mention that your pool of serious partners gets smaller with age, even for men over 30. The guy obviously wants a big family so for that his best bet is a woman under 30. Just the way fertility works. So he’d really have to go driving around searching other cities to try to find a connection.

    Andi/Josh remark about not really planning the wedding sounded like trouble and he acted like he could hardly wait till it was over (I was hoping, the Red Carpet, but guess it was more…) and Andi was stroking his back as though for one of the last times.

    I’d been so over-prepared for Whitney’s voice that when I finally heard it, it didn’t sound as bad as I’d imagined. She’s one who should really look into voice therapy. It would help her and the people around her more than I think she realizes.

    The eyes – as a photographer I see that type of wide-eye in amateurs often. If cameramen really cared, they’d have told her to relax her eyes – that’s what we usually do. Instead they moved in with a wide angle to exaggerate them for television.

  21. pattycakes

    January 8, 2015 at 2:59 PM

    Nikki had the boob job before going on the bachelor. Can’t believe you didn’t notice. Just FYI. 🙂

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