Reality Steve

The Bachelor 19 - Chris

The “Bachelor” Chris Episode 2 Recap Including Next Week’s Dates & Who Returns in a Future Episode

-The suspense immediately started with the show picking up from where it left off last week. The rose ceremony over, but Kimberly had something to say and basically plead her case that she needed more time. “I’m supposed to be here and supposed to meet you.” You were? Says who? You went through months of interviews, psych tests, blood tests, and conversations with producers who probably told you all day every day how you’d be a perfect fit for Chris, and that you’d do great, and you’ll be one of his favorites blah blah blah. Let me tell you something Kimberly…they say that to every contestant every season. If they don’t lie and make you feel excited about being on the show, there’s no point to cast you. They knew exactly how long you’d last on the show from the minute you agreed to do it. So I hate to burst your bubble, but no. You weren’t supposed to meet him. Lets just hope Kimberly is not setting a precedent for every future contestant getting eliminated on the first night asking for a second chance. The fact that the other 22 girls pretended to be happy and clap for Kimberly coming back was about as genuine as an Andi & Josh appearance three days before announcing their breakup.

-The two Chris’ have a little meeting the next morning to talk about how the first night went. Host Chris kinda over exaggerates…ok…totally over exaggerates when he says you have “23 of the hottest women you’ve ever dated.” While they are probably better looking than the corn shuckers he’s used to back on the farm, lets ease up on the hyperbole Mr. Host. If you’re gonna start calling all 23 hot, after last night’s episode, you could’ve at least forewarned him that there’s some bat sh** crazy in the clan, along with downright straight jacket looney. Host Chris goes and sees the ladies sitting in the living room looking all not like the hottest 23 women Chris has ever dated and starts chatting them up. Where is this coming from? You have one job, dude. Give them the date card and scram. No one wants to hear you lob softball questions to the girls so we can hear them squeal about Chris more. It’s all forced, scripted, and uncomfortable. I mean, you’re not even informing the ladies how the week’s dates are gonna go? What exactly are they paying you $50k an episode for then?

-The group date will consist of Jade, Tandra, Kimberly, Mackenzie, Tara, Ashley I., and the caterpillars that are living above Ashley I.’s eyeballs. Do those things just ever wake up and start crawling on her face? Gotta be annoying, right? If they don’t, they could probably do ski jumps off her fake eyelashes. The date card says “Show me your country” and America cringes as we are two letters away from that being the dirtiest thing ever said on television ever besides “Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night” (I’m in midseason form already dropping “Revenge of the Nerds” references already). Chris takes the six girls to a hotel rooftop. Now, even though all six of them are dressed in shorts, t-shirts, and were told by producers obviously to wear their bikini’s underneath, still one of them feels the need to ask, “What are we doing?” Hmmmm, lets see. You’re standing next to a hotel pool, Chris is wearing board shorts, you are all in your bikini’s…you’re going to do some off shore drilling. What the f**k do you think you’re gonna do? To say this crop of women so far isn’t the brightest of bulbs would be an insult to General Electric.

-During the pool party, the only girl we see Chris get some alone time with is Kimberly, who re-introduces herself to him after that little false start last night where, you know, she made such a nothing impression on him that he originally wanted to send her ass home. Well, now that he gets to see her in an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow non-polka dot bikini, she believes she’ll have him thinking with his other head and keep her around a bit longer. Long story short: it didn’t.

-So much uninteresting stuff was happening at the pool party, that they already cut away back to the mansion to show Megan and Jillian walking over to Chris’ place of residence that’s just a few hundred feet away from the mansion so they can spy. I’m not sure why a black box was covering up Jillian’s bottom and front the whole time even though we could clearly see she was wearing bikini bottoms. Probably just editing to make you think it was something more risqué than it was. No different than beeping out Kaitlyn’s limo entrance last week when she never cursed to begin with. However, considering Jordan later on informed us of all the ass hair that Jillian carries around, maybe they had reason to black box it out. Jordan actually took to Twitter last night to say Jillian doesn’t have ass hair and basically just admitted to saying that because she’s a drunken ass clown. Thank you Jordan. We never would’ve guessed. They see that Chris has his motorcycle and helmet in this place, which prompts Megan to put the helmet on and start bumping into everything like a complete ditz. Something tells me Megan probably had a harness put on her as a child. Odd bird.

-After the pool party that was barely shown, Chris takes the girls walking in downtown in LA in their bikini’s and heels. Which I’m sure elicited absolutely zero cat calls from the local construction workers. None whatsoever. He tells them they will be competing in a bikini tractor race since, well, this is very common occurrence in downtown LA. I can’t tell you how many times traffic was backed up on 4th St. in the middle of the afternoon so that 6 bimbos could race on tractor’s at 2 mph. I’m assuming every girl went pedal-to-the-metal once the race started so how were some so far ahead of others? I thought Tandra was the one who was winning? How did Ashley I. pull this thing out? Somehow she did, she gets some alone time with Chris and they show us them talking about…nothing. Other than she’s excited she won, excited she’s there, and yeah, nothing. This was a common theme for all of Chris’ conversations with girls he had solo time with last night.

-So once he’s done with Ashley I., he brings her over to the rest of the group and says he’d like to continue to get to know just one of the girls for the rest of the night and chooses Mackenzie. This was bizarre. He hasn’t spoken to her that we’ve seen, she didn’t win the race, and there was basically zero lead up to him picking her. Didn’t make a hell of a lot of sense, but then again, neither did most of the show last night. Mackenzie? Really? The 21 year old girl with a 1 year old that lives in the Pacific Northwest? That’s the girl you choose to give a little more time to when you’ve got Jade and all her lady bits in a bikini right there ready, willing, and able? Chris, I hate to say this, but you’re a f***ing dumb ass. Pick Jade! Are you kidding me? Screw what the producers told you to do? Mackenzie is a girl. A barely legal girl at that. Jade is a WOMAN. And a Playboy woman to boot. Yes, I’m aware Chris had no clue at this point about Jade’s past, but sh**. In that group of six and he chooses the 21 year old Mackenzie who looks like she’s 13? Idiot.

-Mackenzie did nothing but show her age when she and Chris had their alone time at The Escondite. First, she notices that Chris once had his ears pierced. Not sure why she noticed this other than had to be strictly from pure nervousness. Then she proceeds to tell him: she likes guys with big noses, she asks if he believes in aliens, she hasn’t been on a date in a year, then tells him she has a kid. Mackenzie, you couldn’t have been a bigger fail of a first date if you walked around with giant gold necklace that read “FAIL.” Regretting this decision yet, Chris? Jade would’ve been three drinks in and probably spread eagle on the bar by now and you’re dilly dallying around with little miss priss over here telling you she doesn’t date. You must feel like a complete imbecile right about now. Good. That’s what you get. I’m guessing that if Mackenzie didn’t have a kid to show Chris pictures of, she wouldn’t be allowed to bring her phone on the date. Has anyone ever had a phone on their date in the history of this show? Didn’t think so. But Mackenzie does? Chris needs a re-do on this date. Mackenzie would’ve been about my 8th choice to have a private date with. Yes, I know there were only 6 on that date. Exactly my point.

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21 Comments

21 Comments

  1. punka

    January 13, 2015 at 11:47 AM

    Ashley S is this years producer pick. Meaning, she is a plant. I know a guy who has been on multiple reality shows, gets hired to do a job in the early episodes then gets canned when the real action starts. Just there in the early parts for some nonsense to boost ratings at first. Once the field gets cut back and some girls start to be frontrunners, that nonsense is not required anymore. It is a reality TV industry thing, so please don’t act like it does’n’t happen.

    No rationale guy keeps picking Ashley S after her behavior on that date last night. So yeah, she is the producer pick. She is just there to mess with Chris and the girls for a while. She is the Michelle Money of this season.

  2. lk23

    January 13, 2015 at 12:20 PM

    Did you see Chris’s People blog? http://www.people.com/article/chris-soules-bachelor-blog-episode-2
    He mentions that it wasn’t shown, but a girl named Evie crashed his and Mackenzie’s date. I think you originally named Evie as a contestant on the show, wonder why they didn’t show this…

  3. diora

    January 13, 2015 at 12:41 PM

    What happened to Tandra? I didn’t see her receive a rose nor did I see her exit.

  4. maddie86

    January 13, 2015 at 12:48 PM

    I understand anything for ratings but Ashley should not be on the show, I have no idea what to make of it either. Britt seems sweet but I don’t believe for a second she came in with the goal of staying until the end, she’s an actress and she’s a very good one too – I have to give her that. I love Whitney, hopefully in the coming weeks we will be privy to more intelligent conversations but who knows.

    http://www.pillowtalkwithelle.com

  5. angelfish

    January 13, 2015 at 1:07 PM

    That Evie was from Oklahoma, so unless she specifically decided to stalk the whole production, it wasn’t the same girl. Likely just a local whackadoodle trying to get on camera.

  6. vessel

    January 13, 2015 at 1:17 PM

    I wish Steve would put a little description of what the videos are of, the deleted scenes, etc. for those of us not living in the U.S. since we’re unable to view them.

  7. rob22

    January 13, 2015 at 1:29 PM

    I don’t think the dialogue is going to get much better. Old McDonald is probably a nice guy and I’m not saying he’s a moron, but he lives a simple life & he’s doesn’t really have an outgoing personality. What do you talk about in Bumphuck, Iowa anyways? Corn? Combines? Pork Belly Futures? Maybe the cool new talkie movie theater over there in Mount Pilot? You add in a bunch of pretty, but vacuous girls (with or without the high pitched squeaky voices) and what do you expect? I’m sure with the F4 Chris’ got, there will be plenty of sexual chemistry that may make it more interesting (the Bob Guiney record may well be ready to fall), but I expect that they will need to pour in as much drama as possible…. or this could be the most painful Bachelor ever. Chris is going to be one of those guys who specializes in awkward silences, wide eyed staring into space, befuddled body language and foolish facial expressions. You pick a farmer…. you get a farmer. Whitney seems like a nice girl. She’s probably completely sincere. But at the end of the day, you’re going to pick up and move to rural Iowa? I’m a city boy and I get nervous in cities of 500,000 or less. I can’t fathom a city (is it really a city?) that has less than 400 people. It’s a very Twilight Zone concept to me. It would freak me out. This pairing is never going to work for that reason alone, even if they really like/love each other. Some sacrifices are just not realistically going to be made for a guy you just met a few weeks ago.

  8. bazooka

    January 13, 2015 at 2:10 PM

    The whole Juelia/Jillian thing at the rose ceremony was the icing on the cake. Slipped and fell in front of everyone and it wasn’t even your name that was called. I was dying

  9. lauren1969

    January 13, 2015 at 4:34 PM

    RE: Ashley, it’s one thing to exploit drama queens and over-imbibers for entertainment sake, but another to exploit someone with a potential real mental disability. This would not be tolerated if the disability was physical! Being a mental health professional trying to watch The Bachelor, I was not entertained by how Ashley’s scenes were depicted; excessive screen time, “crazy” music playing in the background, nobody trying to help her. I was disturbed at the ethics on display on a number of fronts. Ashley’s behavior may have been out of anyone’s control on the set, but certainly the final edit we all see is subjective.
    Perhaps Ashley was suffering a stress- or substance-triggered psychotic break (in other words, something “temporary”) last night, or maybe she has a more serious ongoing issue. None of us – including Chris, the show’s producers, and the viewers – knows what’s really going on. Maybe Ashley herself does or doesn’t either. All I know is the edit job she got was humiliating, even though many will say she “earned” it. Imagine having your friends, family, employer, and all of America see you at your worst with a brain chemistry imbalance – temporary or not? I worry for her ability to handle the repercussions.
    By submitting themselves to being on this show, I realize these women are set up to be treated at the whim of producers looking for ratings, and, ultimately, revenue. That’s just the reality of this sort of programming. But there has to be a place where human decency trumps profits and ratings; where someone’s health and wellbeing are regarded and respected. I hope it can be a lesson show producers embrace without the experience of a tragedy to modify current judgment and practices.

  10. angelsbbfan

    January 13, 2015 at 6:04 PM

    So, I guess what you’re saying is you don’t have the episode by episode spoiler list today??? Hehehe

  11. angelfish

    January 13, 2015 at 7:00 PM

    Lauren1969,
    You realize that the producers have a complete background and medical history on all the contestants, right? And the ABC Network, owned by Disney, is never going to put themselves in a situation where a mentally ill person is going to be able to file suit against them for mistreatment, right? You do understand that despite any waivers a contestant has signed, a gigantic multinational conglomerate is NEVER going to open themselves up to that kind of possible liability.

    Ashley is acting crazy, except for when she’s not. We see the sequences the producers have edited to show her acting crazy.

    Can anybody honestly believe that her family or friends wouldn’t have said something if she was truly mentally compromised?

    It’s a gimmick to get people talking. And it’s been working GREAT! *LOL*

  12. ladyjane747

    January 13, 2015 at 10:53 PM

    Exactly Angelfish, Ashley is either a producer plant or she’s acting to stand out and stick around. There’s no way ABC would keep a mentally imbalanced person on the show – imagine the liability if she harmed herself or someone else. Even when Gia killed herself a few years after being on the show, ABC made it clear that all the contestants underwent psych evals and also spoke to a psych when they were eliminated, just in case someone decided to hold ABC liable for Gia’s suicide, blaming the show. No way is this chick really crazy.

  13. duckquack

    January 13, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    looks good on Josh ridiculing Nick and JP showing off his macho self worth, by putting other men down for a p***y.
    they had to show up on the Premiere, its a Bachelor nation you owe us….plus they have no say as in when to announce the break-up….as if Harrison will tell the truth about it.

    what do some of you think about Sean Lowe and his book coming out on the 27th of January….Catherine almost left him, she was fuming and did not like Peta his dancing partner….hehe so much for Peta and Sean saying Peta will be at their wedding and choreograph a dance for them…the stoopid giggly Cat would not be in the house she is in if Sean didn’t bust his a** dancing and doing all the appearances…what does she do but pitter patters and copy and paste stuff from what’s on the web.

    Anybody see the size of Catherine’s feet, size 11…and her bazookas are like as large as her feet…
    Farmer Chris would suit her better she can really express herself on that farm, no need for shoes, just her umbrella looking cheap cape with oinky oink wings….
    bwahhaha

  14. rob22

    January 14, 2015 at 5:52 AM

    To me, it looked like Ashley was on something, most likely pills mixed with alcohol. But, who knows? I see the concern around her being mentally ill. It certainly crossed my mind & although I would think the show’s lawyers would veto including somebody who’s mentally ill, you can never underestimate the show for their ability to exploit anything for drama and ratings. Since Old McDonald is such a dud in the personality department, the entertainment has to come from somewhere. Zombies (creating screaming little girls) and cray-cray Ashley were the featured attractions on Monday. Expect more of the same going forward.

  15. rob22

    January 14, 2015 at 5:55 AM

    I know RS is “On” the Whitney has a super annoying voice thing….. and maybe he previewed it as SO annoying that I was expecting much worse. But, I don’t think her voice is that annoying. It’s ….. semi-normal. There is an affectation in there, I realize. But if RS hadn’t said anything, causing a some heavy analyzing, I don’t think I would have noticed anything at all. Maybe it’s just me.

  16. rawrkaz

    January 14, 2015 at 8:32 AM

    At Robb2 – finally! Someone else who feels this way. I started watching with trepidation and it’s really not that bad. I’ve heard much worse.

  17. escherfan

    January 14, 2015 at 10:49 AM

    It’s not just RS going on about Whitney’s god-awful voice. I wrote that on his blog the night after I saw her. Seriously? Chris want’s to listen to that annoying, high-pitched bizarre voice with the funky accent for the rest of his life? I’d sooner harvest the entire corn crop by hand before I would spend even 10 minutes with her. She’s pretty, sure, but once she opens her mouth, everything is ruined.

  18. cjscjs711

    January 14, 2015 at 9:28 PM

    @lauren1969 The Ashley S. Charade bothered me, too. Not because for a minute do I believe she’s honestly as crazy as she portrays herself to be but because the whole act is like a parody of mental illness in a way. Personally I think more likely the gal is high on hallucinogens or needs her meds adjusted. At best, it’s an ill-advised, stupid act – parody of mental illness. Or she’s high. What I saw didn’t even look like drunk behavior.

    It was Chris’ night. It would have been very wrong of Andi and Josh to announce their breakup there and take attention away from him, or appear to insult him by not showing up at all. Sorry it didn’t work out. We wanted our fairy tale to have a happy ending.

  19. ILOVECATS

    January 15, 2015 at 3:53 PM

    I guess I’ll be the token Iowan defending my home state. In Iowa, we talk about all the other things that people talk about anywhere: politics, sports, movies, music, books, families, themselves, etc. For being a more rural that city-strewn state, we are highly educated and well-informed about global news and culture. It is a beautiful state, with plenty of urban sprawl for you city boys, but a quick drive out to the country gives you peace and quiet and space. Trust me, it is awesome here. If you haven’t been, I’d invite you visit or to shut up and stop talking about how boring it is. I regret that the whole “Who wants to move to Iowa” angle is being exploited by the show, but oh well, guess that comes with being a part of this trainwreck (the show, not my state).

  20. bustedstuff

    January 15, 2015 at 10:18 PM

    First time commenter here! And one time potential bachelorette contestant. I applied for many reasons (to perhaps really find love in a cool way and also to help my broadcast career…and travel- hah!) and they wanted to interview me in person but I had just moved, was super busy and kind of chickened out. Plus, I had a feeling the next bachelor was going to be Sean (which it was) and I had no attraction to him (I like manly men) so knew I couldn’t fake it.

    Anyway, all of these women this season are pitiful. I think Whitney was chosen by Chris as she is really just the most normal of all of them. They all seem extremely self-absorbed and very loose (you can still be a vaginal virgin and be a total slut bag!!)

    The whole Ashley thing is just ridiculous. It’s so obvious that she is either a plant and/or just a sympathy pick from Chris.

    As for Andi and Josh- I think it was pretty much over when it was revealed she slept with Nick and then accepted his engagement right after. They’re both intense people and that would be awfully hard to deal with and get over in general. I know I couldn’t get over it! Josh actually seems like a very loyal man and it probably crushed him and made him angry and resentful when he learned that she did this.

  21. gobsmacked

    January 17, 2015 at 9:33 AM

    Andy and Josh is a publicity stunt, get on camera, remind everyone how much they love us, announce 3 days later (just enough to bounce off the show but not too much to bring down the show), then wait a few days and run with the publicity. Silly.

    I just watched the 2nd episode, I wait for RS’s recap before watching, otherwise I miss the little stuff.

    Ashley seems like an acting job or one really in need of help. Let’s hope its acting. The producers must know the truth, so if they’re not getting her help then it must be acting.

    The girls using mourning as a gimmick is kind of sick, how many ? The dad, the husbands? Julia’s crying on the couch while all the girls act sad for her, but in reality are not, they’re probably all counting her out at that point. Gotta hand it to the producers for that pick. How’d they think that would play? Do any of these girls have morals? What about the families of these guys? I’d like to hear how they think about the wife in mourning on a television show using the death of their husband for publicity. That’s going as low as one can go.

    Gotta hand it to Whitney. Since RS has been right on the final picks for years, I feel for Chris dealing with “that voice” on a day to day basis. Maybe he thinks she’ll be good on the farm hollering for the animals to come a running. @Robb22 what’s up with your ears? That voice is god-awful seriously. Chris and Whitney together on the farm I hardly doubt it.

    Another good train wreck season. Thanks for the recap Steve you nailed it.

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