Reality Steve

The Bachelor 19 - Chris

The “Bachelor” Chris Episode 2 Recap Including Next Week’s Dates & Who Returns in a Future Episode

-Time for the zombie group date. I mean, nothing I write can even accurately depict what we saw on TV last night. Not even close. I will do my best, but basically, you had to see it to experience it. The 11 girls on the date were: Kelsey, Trina, Alissa, Tracy, Jillian, Becca, Amber, Ashley S., Juelia, Kaitlyn, and Britt. Meaning that Whitney, Carly, Jordan, Nikki, and Samantha were the five girls that week who didn’t get dates. It happens. But obviously it wasn’t that big of a deal since 4 of those 5 ended up getting roses anyway. The women take limos to an abandoned area where they are scared off half to death by zombies. Ok look, I know zombies are the thing now with the whole “Walking Dead” phenomenon, but people understand they aren’t real, right? I can understand being startled when something you don’t expect pops out and scares you to where maybe you flinch real quick, but geez, the constant screaming every time you see a zombie? And a zombie nonetheless that’s outside the window of your limo just looking at you. All very silly and I can’t wrap my head around why they’d constantly be screaming. Oh wait, they’re girls. I forgot.

-Once Chris explains to them that they’ll be in a paintball war shooting zombies, it seemed to calm the girls down a bit. Or so I thought. So basically they just walked around armed with paintball guns and shot at zombies trying to attack them. And by “attack” I mean, do absolutely nothing other than stand there and get pelted since they weren’t even armed. I mean, can we call this paintballing when your “opponent” isn’t even firing back at you? And if they aren’t firing back at you, what the f**k are you screaming at the top of your lungs for? Britt says “I’m amazing at paintball” and Kaitlyn is afraid of…Ashley S. “She shouldn’t be holding a gun…she shouldn’t even be holding a wet noodle.” That’s funny. The girls on the pool party group date were all trying to get a hold of a wet noodle. Ba-dum-bump. Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.

-Back at the mansion, they made sure to show us how drunk Jordan was. Like, drunk to the point of slurring her words, twerking up against the wall (not before falling a couple times), and informing us on how hairy Jillian’s ass is. I’m not sure what prompted all that. Well, obviously the alcohol. But why she decided to go after Jillian I have no clue. Yes, she did take to Twitter last night and took it all back saying she was just drunk, but man, what an ass hat she made of herself last night. No wonder the girls don’t want to let her back in when she shows up in New Mexico trying to get back on the show.

-Here’s how I’ll summarize the zombie shootout: screaming, firing paintballs, and the beginning of Ashley S.’ meltdown. I don’t know which team won, how many zombies they shot, or what the whole point of it even was. The show strictly focused this date on how crazy Ashley S. is and nothing else. Some of you tweeted and emailed me last night that you actually felt bad for her because this was a different kind of crazy that we’ve seen in the past. It wasn’t some dumb drunk chick saying stupid things. For what we saw, it looked like Ashley S. was completely sober. But not being able to form complete sentences and constantly losing train of thought, and being completely incoherent, some of you thought it was more serious than that. Schizophrenia was something mentioned. Someone mentioned that she mixed alcohol with her anti-crazy meds. Some said she was on LSD. I don’t have a freakin’ clue what this chick was doing, what she was saying, or how she even got into the state she was in. I wouldn’t even venture to guess. All I know is that producers loved every second of it, they didn’t care for a second about her well being, and this was TV gold for them.

-When Chris pulled Ashley S. aside she at first wanted to play hide and seek. Sweet! Ghost in the Graveyard with Ashley S.! Chris, here’s what you do: Tell her to go hide, then run back to the remaining 10 girls, tell them to get in the limos as fast as they can, and drive your asses back to the mansion to get as far away from that chick as you possibly can. Not sure why Ashley was obsessed with Mesa Verde. I guess it was this week’s onion. Or pomegranate. Not only that, but when have we ever seen someone during the middle of a date, walk up during the lead filming an ITM and just start talking to them? Never? Rated R Rego did it on Ali’s season, but that’s because he was told to. As I’m sure Ashley S. was as well. Chris asked her if she’s holding up ok. Her response: “I don’t even know what you’re asking me.” Then went into this speech about “You don’t want to lose the whole world, but you don’t want to gain the whole world.” Planet Ashley was in full retrograde that night because that was about as bizarre as you can get. I don’t know if she’s acting, I don’t know if she was drugged up, I don’t know if producers put her up to everything…no clue. All I know is she’s a trainwreck, the show capitalized on it, and she is who everyone is talking about this morning. So win-win for them. Not sure if this is Ashley’s real account or not, but @_ABSalt is now tweeting publicly. I’m sure this will be interesting.

-Keep in mind, there were 11 girls on this group date, and they showed Chris having alone time with 3 of them: Ashley S., Kaitlyn, and Britt. Well, we know Ashley wasn’t getting the rose, so that only left two possible candidates. Kaitlyn was the first to steal Chris away and just wants to laugh and be funny and fun. Even poked fun at her Canadian accent by saying, “Oooot and aboot on a date, eh?” Well good. At least she knows how poorly Canadian accents can come across sometimes. Lets see if she starts using the word “hoser.” She tells Chris she drops everything for her boyfriends. Her last one had her living in Germany for 7 months before she decided she couldn’t do that anymore. So then she put her life on hold again to do this show. Kaitlyn seems to have her priorities in order. Hey, I’ll give her credit for one thing. She certainly isn’t fake or phony. What you see is what you get with her. She’s made it known since the second she stepped out of the limo she’s more about having fun and being goofy than Miss Serious and wanting deeping intellectual conversation every chance she gets. And oh yeah, they made out. Now Kaitlyn, tell us another X rated joke. We’re in need of one after Ashley’s antics.

-As mentioned, the only other girl they showed him getting alone time with was Britt. Chris even had a note for her which read “Free kiss from Chris.” Awwww how cute. These two need notes to tell each other how much they want to jump each other’s bones. Very romantic. So you’ll never guess what they do next? Correct. Tongue wrestle. Like, a lot. Very visible tongue action with these two. Maybe get a room you two. Britt is over the moon. She thinks back-to-back roses would be amazing. Exactly why you won’t be getting back-to-back roses Britt. Doesn’t work that way. Well, unless you’re Nikki last season as she somehow managed to snag back-to-back group date roses. With Kaitlyn eventually getting this group date rose over Britt, well, you saw this coming a mile away. Britt is this season’s “It’s Hard For Me To Watch My Boyfriend Date Other Women” girl. And eventually will lead her to eliminating herself in Des Moines as she feels this process isn’t for her and there are other girls there that are a better fit for Chris. Do I still think she’s the front runner for the “Bachelorette?” Absolutely.

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  1. punka

    January 13, 2015 at 11:47 AM

    Ashley S is this years producer pick. Meaning, she is a plant. I know a guy who has been on multiple reality shows, gets hired to do a job in the early episodes then gets canned when the real action starts. Just there in the early parts for some nonsense to boost ratings at first. Once the field gets cut back and some girls start to be frontrunners, that nonsense is not required anymore. It is a reality TV industry thing, so please don’t act like it does’n’t happen.

    No rationale guy keeps picking Ashley S after her behavior on that date last night. So yeah, she is the producer pick. She is just there to mess with Chris and the girls for a while. She is the Michelle Money of this season.

  2. lk23

    January 13, 2015 at 12:20 PM

    Did you see Chris’s People blog?
    He mentions that it wasn’t shown, but a girl named Evie crashed his and Mackenzie’s date. I think you originally named Evie as a contestant on the show, wonder why they didn’t show this…

  3. diora

    January 13, 2015 at 12:41 PM

    What happened to Tandra? I didn’t see her receive a rose nor did I see her exit.

  4. maddie86

    January 13, 2015 at 12:48 PM

    I understand anything for ratings but Ashley should not be on the show, I have no idea what to make of it either. Britt seems sweet but I don’t believe for a second she came in with the goal of staying until the end, she’s an actress and she’s a very good one too – I have to give her that. I love Whitney, hopefully in the coming weeks we will be privy to more intelligent conversations but who knows.

  5. angelfish

    January 13, 2015 at 1:07 PM

    That Evie was from Oklahoma, so unless she specifically decided to stalk the whole production, it wasn’t the same girl. Likely just a local whackadoodle trying to get on camera.

  6. vessel

    January 13, 2015 at 1:17 PM

    I wish Steve would put a little description of what the videos are of, the deleted scenes, etc. for those of us not living in the U.S. since we’re unable to view them.

  7. rob22

    January 13, 2015 at 1:29 PM

    I don’t think the dialogue is going to get much better. Old McDonald is probably a nice guy and I’m not saying he’s a moron, but he lives a simple life & he’s doesn’t really have an outgoing personality. What do you talk about in Bumphuck, Iowa anyways? Corn? Combines? Pork Belly Futures? Maybe the cool new talkie movie theater over there in Mount Pilot? You add in a bunch of pretty, but vacuous girls (with or without the high pitched squeaky voices) and what do you expect? I’m sure with the F4 Chris’ got, there will be plenty of sexual chemistry that may make it more interesting (the Bob Guiney record may well be ready to fall), but I expect that they will need to pour in as much drama as possible…. or this could be the most painful Bachelor ever. Chris is going to be one of those guys who specializes in awkward silences, wide eyed staring into space, befuddled body language and foolish facial expressions. You pick a farmer…. you get a farmer. Whitney seems like a nice girl. She’s probably completely sincere. But at the end of the day, you’re going to pick up and move to rural Iowa? I’m a city boy and I get nervous in cities of 500,000 or less. I can’t fathom a city (is it really a city?) that has less than 400 people. It’s a very Twilight Zone concept to me. It would freak me out. This pairing is never going to work for that reason alone, even if they really like/love each other. Some sacrifices are just not realistically going to be made for a guy you just met a few weeks ago.

  8. bazooka

    January 13, 2015 at 2:10 PM

    The whole Juelia/Jillian thing at the rose ceremony was the icing on the cake. Slipped and fell in front of everyone and it wasn’t even your name that was called. I was dying

  9. lauren1969

    January 13, 2015 at 4:34 PM

    RE: Ashley, it’s one thing to exploit drama queens and over-imbibers for entertainment sake, but another to exploit someone with a potential real mental disability. This would not be tolerated if the disability was physical! Being a mental health professional trying to watch The Bachelor, I was not entertained by how Ashley’s scenes were depicted; excessive screen time, “crazy” music playing in the background, nobody trying to help her. I was disturbed at the ethics on display on a number of fronts. Ashley’s behavior may have been out of anyone’s control on the set, but certainly the final edit we all see is subjective.
    Perhaps Ashley was suffering a stress- or substance-triggered psychotic break (in other words, something “temporary”) last night, or maybe she has a more serious ongoing issue. None of us – including Chris, the show’s producers, and the viewers – knows what’s really going on. Maybe Ashley herself does or doesn’t either. All I know is the edit job she got was humiliating, even though many will say she “earned” it. Imagine having your friends, family, employer, and all of America see you at your worst with a brain chemistry imbalance – temporary or not? I worry for her ability to handle the repercussions.
    By submitting themselves to being on this show, I realize these women are set up to be treated at the whim of producers looking for ratings, and, ultimately, revenue. That’s just the reality of this sort of programming. But there has to be a place where human decency trumps profits and ratings; where someone’s health and wellbeing are regarded and respected. I hope it can be a lesson show producers embrace without the experience of a tragedy to modify current judgment and practices.

  10. angelsbbfan

    January 13, 2015 at 6:04 PM

    So, I guess what you’re saying is you don’t have the episode by episode spoiler list today??? Hehehe

  11. angelfish

    January 13, 2015 at 7:00 PM

    You realize that the producers have a complete background and medical history on all the contestants, right? And the ABC Network, owned by Disney, is never going to put themselves in a situation where a mentally ill person is going to be able to file suit against them for mistreatment, right? You do understand that despite any waivers a contestant has signed, a gigantic multinational conglomerate is NEVER going to open themselves up to that kind of possible liability.

    Ashley is acting crazy, except for when she’s not. We see the sequences the producers have edited to show her acting crazy.

    Can anybody honestly believe that her family or friends wouldn’t have said something if she was truly mentally compromised?

    It’s a gimmick to get people talking. And it’s been working GREAT! *LOL*

  12. ladyjane747

    January 13, 2015 at 10:53 PM

    Exactly Angelfish, Ashley is either a producer plant or she’s acting to stand out and stick around. There’s no way ABC would keep a mentally imbalanced person on the show – imagine the liability if she harmed herself or someone else. Even when Gia killed herself a few years after being on the show, ABC made it clear that all the contestants underwent psych evals and also spoke to a psych when they were eliminated, just in case someone decided to hold ABC liable for Gia’s suicide, blaming the show. No way is this chick really crazy.

  13. duckquack

    January 13, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    looks good on Josh ridiculing Nick and JP showing off his macho self worth, by putting other men down for a p***y.
    they had to show up on the Premiere, its a Bachelor nation you owe us….plus they have no say as in when to announce the break-up….as if Harrison will tell the truth about it.

    what do some of you think about Sean Lowe and his book coming out on the 27th of January….Catherine almost left him, she was fuming and did not like Peta his dancing partner….hehe so much for Peta and Sean saying Peta will be at their wedding and choreograph a dance for them…the stoopid giggly Cat would not be in the house she is in if Sean didn’t bust his a** dancing and doing all the appearances…what does she do but pitter patters and copy and paste stuff from what’s on the web.

    Anybody see the size of Catherine’s feet, size 11…and her bazookas are like as large as her feet…
    Farmer Chris would suit her better she can really express herself on that farm, no need for shoes, just her umbrella looking cheap cape with oinky oink wings….

  14. rob22

    January 14, 2015 at 5:52 AM

    To me, it looked like Ashley was on something, most likely pills mixed with alcohol. But, who knows? I see the concern around her being mentally ill. It certainly crossed my mind & although I would think the show’s lawyers would veto including somebody who’s mentally ill, you can never underestimate the show for their ability to exploit anything for drama and ratings. Since Old McDonald is such a dud in the personality department, the entertainment has to come from somewhere. Zombies (creating screaming little girls) and cray-cray Ashley were the featured attractions on Monday. Expect more of the same going forward.

  15. rob22

    January 14, 2015 at 5:55 AM

    I know RS is “On” the Whitney has a super annoying voice thing….. and maybe he previewed it as SO annoying that I was expecting much worse. But, I don’t think her voice is that annoying. It’s ….. semi-normal. There is an affectation in there, I realize. But if RS hadn’t said anything, causing a some heavy analyzing, I don’t think I would have noticed anything at all. Maybe it’s just me.

  16. rawrkaz

    January 14, 2015 at 8:32 AM

    At Robb2 – finally! Someone else who feels this way. I started watching with trepidation and it’s really not that bad. I’ve heard much worse.

  17. escherfan

    January 14, 2015 at 10:49 AM

    It’s not just RS going on about Whitney’s god-awful voice. I wrote that on his blog the night after I saw her. Seriously? Chris want’s to listen to that annoying, high-pitched bizarre voice with the funky accent for the rest of his life? I’d sooner harvest the entire corn crop by hand before I would spend even 10 minutes with her. She’s pretty, sure, but once she opens her mouth, everything is ruined.

  18. cjscjs711

    January 14, 2015 at 9:28 PM

    @lauren1969 The Ashley S. Charade bothered me, too. Not because for a minute do I believe she’s honestly as crazy as she portrays herself to be but because the whole act is like a parody of mental illness in a way. Personally I think more likely the gal is high on hallucinogens or needs her meds adjusted. At best, it’s an ill-advised, stupid act – parody of mental illness. Or she’s high. What I saw didn’t even look like drunk behavior.

    It was Chris’ night. It would have been very wrong of Andi and Josh to announce their breakup there and take attention away from him, or appear to insult him by not showing up at all. Sorry it didn’t work out. We wanted our fairy tale to have a happy ending.


    January 15, 2015 at 3:53 PM

    I guess I’ll be the token Iowan defending my home state. In Iowa, we talk about all the other things that people talk about anywhere: politics, sports, movies, music, books, families, themselves, etc. For being a more rural that city-strewn state, we are highly educated and well-informed about global news and culture. It is a beautiful state, with plenty of urban sprawl for you city boys, but a quick drive out to the country gives you peace and quiet and space. Trust me, it is awesome here. If you haven’t been, I’d invite you visit or to shut up and stop talking about how boring it is. I regret that the whole “Who wants to move to Iowa” angle is being exploited by the show, but oh well, guess that comes with being a part of this trainwreck (the show, not my state).

  20. bustedstuff

    January 15, 2015 at 10:18 PM

    First time commenter here! And one time potential bachelorette contestant. I applied for many reasons (to perhaps really find love in a cool way and also to help my broadcast career…and travel- hah!) and they wanted to interview me in person but I had just moved, was super busy and kind of chickened out. Plus, I had a feeling the next bachelor was going to be Sean (which it was) and I had no attraction to him (I like manly men) so knew I couldn’t fake it.

    Anyway, all of these women this season are pitiful. I think Whitney was chosen by Chris as she is really just the most normal of all of them. They all seem extremely self-absorbed and very loose (you can still be a vaginal virgin and be a total slut bag!!)

    The whole Ashley thing is just ridiculous. It’s so obvious that she is either a plant and/or just a sympathy pick from Chris.

    As for Andi and Josh- I think it was pretty much over when it was revealed she slept with Nick and then accepted his engagement right after. They’re both intense people and that would be awfully hard to deal with and get over in general. I know I couldn’t get over it! Josh actually seems like a very loyal man and it probably crushed him and made him angry and resentful when he learned that she did this.

  21. gobsmacked

    January 17, 2015 at 9:33 AM

    Andy and Josh is a publicity stunt, get on camera, remind everyone how much they love us, announce 3 days later (just enough to bounce off the show but not too much to bring down the show), then wait a few days and run with the publicity. Silly.

    I just watched the 2nd episode, I wait for RS’s recap before watching, otherwise I miss the little stuff.

    Ashley seems like an acting job or one really in need of help. Let’s hope its acting. The producers must know the truth, so if they’re not getting her help then it must be acting.

    The girls using mourning as a gimmick is kind of sick, how many ? The dad, the husbands? Julia’s crying on the couch while all the girls act sad for her, but in reality are not, they’re probably all counting her out at that point. Gotta hand it to the producers for that pick. How’d they think that would play? Do any of these girls have morals? What about the families of these guys? I’d like to hear how they think about the wife in mourning on a television show using the death of their husband for publicity. That’s going as low as one can go.

    Gotta hand it to Whitney. Since RS has been right on the final picks for years, I feel for Chris dealing with “that voice” on a day to day basis. Maybe he thinks she’ll be good on the farm hollering for the animals to come a running. @Robb22 what’s up with your ears? That voice is god-awful seriously. Chris and Whitney together on the farm I hardly doubt it.

    Another good train wreck season. Thanks for the recap Steve you nailed it.

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