So this weekend I basically realized I’m getting to that age. If you followed along on Twitter, you know what I’m talking about. If you missed it, I’ll explain. I went to bed Friday night knowing I had a gift card to Home Depot I wanted to use the next day. I woke up Saturday morning, knew I was set to go to Home Depot then realized I didn’t have a clue what I knew I wanted to get from the night before. Couldn’t for the life of me remember. So I decided to go to the store anyway and just roam the aisles aimlessly hoping to remember what the hell I needed. I did. I remembered I wanted to buy a scale. And you know what? Home Depot doesn’t sell scales! Huh? That store has every home product/appliance known to mankind and they don’t sell scales? Well what a waste that ended up being. I really didn’t need anything else from there since it’s not a store I really ever need to frequent. I’m like the least handiest man on the planet. So I bought some air fresheners for my house knowing I’ll need those at some point. Yep. That was my Saturday. And then yesterday, I went to Costco having to return something and I had a slice of their pizza because it’s awesome. So next time any of you see me walking the streets aimlessly without a thought in my head, please, someone return me to my rightful place of living. Thank you.
I’m sure you’ve seen it by now, but “Saturday Night Live” and host Blake Shelton did a very funny “Bachelor” parody over the weekend. In case you missed it, here it is:
It’s not like Blake’s impression of Chris was spot on, but that wasn’t the point of the sketch. Just making fun of the women for the repeated phrases they use, and never seeing the bigger picture during their intimate moments with him is what makes the sketch so hilarious. Good stuff.
I’m an avid watcher of “The Soup” on E!. Been watching it for years. They always have great TV clips and commentary for shows I don’t watch. This past Friday’s episode when they were recapping the “Bachelor,” they hit on Chris & Whitney’s wedding crashing date and, well, let me know if what they said rings a bell…
So what they said was, “It’s like pool parties…there’s something about pool parties that’s always wet.” Man, could “The Soup” use me as a writer? Because in last Tuesday’s column I said this about the exact same clip:
Whitney: “Something about weddings that’s so romantic.” You don’t say? Hmmm, I wonder why you would think such a thing? I don’t know. Maybe the joining of two people forever in holy matrimony, including a celebration of family and friends watching them begin their journey together for the rest of their lives. Could that be what makes weddings so romantic? Whitney is quite observant. Other observations from Whitney Bischoff:
1) There’s something about water that’s so wet
2) There’s something about the sun that is so bright
3) There’s something about the color blue that’s so blue
Anytime you need me to fill in “Soup,” you know where to find me. You’re welcome.
So tomorrow morning, I will be making an appearance on “Good Morning Texas” between 9am-10am CST to talk about the “Bachelor.” They’ve had me on a few times before but it’s been a couple years. Last I heard though, they wanted it to be sort of a “panel discussion” and Sean Lowe is supposed to be there. Not sure if that’s confirmed yet or not, and I know that Sean’s book is being released publicly tomorrow, so maybe he has other commitments. Also he and Catherine went to Santa Barbara this weekend for their one year anniversary, so he’s probably not gonna be back in time. I guess I won’t know until I show up, but regardless, if you live in the north Texas area, tune in to watch. They might have a clip up on the site after the fact. If they do, I’ll post it in tomorrow’s column.
As for tonight’s episode…