Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” & Final Reaction to the Family Letters from Last Week

As a Bachelor (or Bachelorette), why does the lead never choose a contestant that they are NOT interested in, and ask them if they’d be willing to stay around to tell the lead the truth about the other contestants and what goes on when he is not around? Like, who is fake, who is sincere, etc. When the “friended” contestant knows they’re not going to win, why not go ahead and report on the others in return for a free ride and publicity that they really came for? Why does this never happen? Because that’s not what the show is about. They’d rather the lead be blindsided by stuff like that than be tipped off and eliminate them immediately, since then there’d be no drama.

Also, I’ve always thought it strange the lead is NOT ALLOWED to tell any contestant that they love them, if/when they do. Any comments on that? Publicly they aren’t allowed to because then everyone would know who they’re gonna choose. But some have behind closed doors.

And finally, how does the lead manage to keep a straight face at the final two, when that one comes to him that the lead knows he is about to reject? How does the soon-to-be rejected contestant not pick up on the vibes?


Comment: Who’s to say the rejected contestant hasn’t picked up the vibe? I’m sure a few have.

Hi Steve,

I’ve been watching this show since the beginning. In the back of my mind I’ve always known it’s ridiculous, yet I continue to watch it week after week. A small part of me wants to believe that it’s real, but mainly it’s just a great guilty pleasure after a long Monday.

Anyways, I’m a teacher and we have a snow day today so I’m catching up on old episodes. I’m trying to point out which girls are here “for the right reasons.” I’m thinking so far it only seems like Becca and Whitney. I really believe Britt is there simply to get the Bachelorette gig. Which leads to my question: Do you think Ali was really on the Bachelorette to find love, or was her goal just to become famous and eventually get her job at E!? At the time I thought it was legit, but she very well could have been putting on a show. It’s just hard for me to believe that she’d put on an act with Roberto for over a year. I liked her at the time but now I just find it hard to take her seriously on E!. Thoughts?

Comment: Yes I agree. Becca and Whitney are really the only two I see that were interested in Chris’ life and weren’t bothered by it. No one else would’ve ever considered it.

I think Ali leaving Facebook to be on the “Bachelor,” then not going back to her job and becoming the “Bachelorette” is something that she was interested in from the get go. Hey, she’s done pretty well for herself at this point, so kudos to her. Regardless of if you like her, she’s one of the very few that’s maintained a pretty reputable media gig out of being on this show.

Hey Steve,

I just went back and re-read your episode-by-episode spoilers through the final 2, which also included your reasoning for why you think Britt will be the next Bachelorette. You mentioned in that reasoning that there were a couple of other reasons that they’d be after her. Did you even get more intel about those reasons and are you at a point to disclose them?

Thanks for all you do.

“The last two seasons when I gave out the spoilers, I predicted Andi would be the next “Bachelorette” and that Chris would be the “Bachelor.” That was well before anything had aired. Before that, I was hit and miss. So I guess you could say I’m on a little mini roll right now in predicting the next lead. All my money right now is on Britt. From everything I’ve heard, she was extremely well liked by everyone including production, she’s certainly got the look being a model that lives in LA, and, well there might be a couple other reasons they’d be after her that I’m double checking on. So if you’re asking me right now who I think it’s gonna be, I’m going with Britt. Obviously we’re 4 months away from that decision being made and certainly things can change, but she’s no doubt a front runner at this point.”

Comment: No, never got that confirmed from a second source and doubt I will at this point.

Am I crazy or is whitney just not attractive?

Comment: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I find her attractive. She’s cute. I wouldn’t call her sexy, but she’s cute.

Steve – Long time reader, first time writer. Two questions for you. Thanks.

Please tell me you agree that as the episodes are getting aired Britt is less likely the choice to be the bachelorette than you previously thought. I like her less and less every episode and Becca seems like the perfect bachelorette who I like more every episode. Your thoughts? Yeah, I don’t know at this point. Monday didn’t help her cause. But remember, she still has the WTA to win people over.

Next question, you seem less defensive than in the past. Have you learned how to tune out the haters better or am I just imaging things? Keep up the great work.

Comment: Gee thanks. I mean, it is what it is. I know the spoilers are right, I told people two days after the engagement happened which was the earliest I ever posted the winner, and it’ll be shown on March 9th. I’m not sure what else I can say.

One way I look at it is, after last season with the Nick video, and plenty of people STILL trying to doubt it, all I can say is, “This is the ending. Believe what you want.” Most will usually believe, and the haters will dissect everything in hopes that I’m wrong.

I know what happened in Des’ season. I got lazy and didn’t follow up on things. It’ll never happen again. I might miss a group date rose here and there, or not have who got what date on occasion, but I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be wrong about an ending again. I just don’t. Too much riding on it, and after Des’ season, I know to be more thorough in my follow up.

Just a few thoughts on this season so far…

Maybe it’s just me (or maybe you’ll get 10 more just like this in which case, sorry!) but I feel like especially after tonight’s edit, there’s no way Britt’s getting bachelorette. After all, when was the last time they cast someone who was so blatantly phony (or maybe it’s not that obvious?) With the makeup, the opinions of the other girls, her being a waitress in Hollywood (come on, how transparent is that?) and the constant over-emoting, there’s no way anyone could buy that crap.

I’m officially calling it, Carly as the next bachelorette. She’s got the personality, connections to the bachelor franchise, seems pretty honest, and a sad enough backstory to make people root for her without making her seem too pathetic (and someone could easily fix those eyebrows). Like you’ve said, the timing rules out Becca and there’s no way Jade would work out. They could go with Kaitlyn but she’s so unlike their core audience that I don’t think they’d go with her (but I’d love if they did). Britt and Carly are the only other options and with everything I already mentioned, I just don’t think Britt is their favorite anymore. It may not be Britt, but I really don’t think it’s gonna be Carly for reasons explained in a previous answer.

Also, this might be a horrible thing to say, but am I the only one who thinks Kelsey is some psycho black widow? She’s also straight out of a daytime soap. She might as well have been auditioning right there on the show. Can’t wait for her to leave. According to next week’s press release, the girls begin to call her the “black widow.”

Becca is way too smart and normal for this show. She should have no trouble getting somebody on her own after this. As long as he’s ok with only getting to first base until he puts a ring on it.

Someone needs to put Megan in a bubble and she really shouldn’t be allowed around sharp objects. I think Megan’s brain starts to hurt when she thinks, so she just doesn’t.

Last, Ashley clearly has the emotional maturity of a thumbnail. I almost pity her for how out of touch she is with the world. I agree.

Thanks as always! Far be it for me to question your wisdom but I’m just throwing in my two cents.

So Fleiss tweeted tonite about “a Bachelor franchise first”. What was it?? I originally thought he was talking about the show not ending with a rose ceremony, but then I was reminded that happened last season with Andi on the episode Eric went home. Not sure.

Totally different direction – what do you think about Bruce Jenner transitioning to a woman?
For some reason that really bothers me. As an Olympian he was so handsome, strong, sexy, manly, etc. Can’t imagine what went wrong – unless it was living with all those crazy Kardashian “women” (using that term loosely).

Comment: I have no idea. I was born a male, I’m still a male to this day, and I have zero intention of ever becoming a woman. However, I know there are people out there who do feel like transitioning to a different sex. I don’t understand it, but I know it happens. But the fact that it happened within THAT family makes it all the more outrageous.

Do yourself a favor and read Crazy Kelsey’s Facebook page bio. She lists herself as a writer? She is a guidance counselor? WTF? ….

“By day a school counselor, by night an advocating blogger, Kelsey Poe creates a paradoxical world by expanding her horizons. Kelsey’s personal story is as dynamic as her personality. Having lost her spouse at age 27, Kelsey pursues a platform to promote advocacy for the bereaved. She pushes the “life” agenda: every day should be about challenging oneself to become better, connecting with other people, and saying yes to adventure. Her next journey is appearing on a network television program to try her hand at finding love again. She practices yoga in the morning, shoots at the gun range in the afternoon, and during the time between, you’ll hear the click of her four-inch heels down the halls of the school of life.”

Comment: Not to mention her own blog which will reappear once the show is over. I’m sure it’ll be more about how she managed to be so amazing after her husband’s death:

So do you think it’s safe to say Kelsey is the most pyscho girl this show has ever seen? I don’t even think you can blame editing on this one. This season in general seems to have the biggest pack of crazies in just about any season I can remember. I’m guessing this is to balance Chris’s waaay to normal (aka boring) personality.

Comment: I think people forget there are crazies every season. Just different levels of crazy. Kelsey is definitely in that group, but, lets not forget that anything you say in an ITM can make you look crazy, even if what you said was in no way a crazy statement. The “I love my story” stuff, although seemingly crazy when presented in a vacuum like that, could’ve easily been an answer to something totally different. And we’ll never know unless Kelsey explains herself, which I’m sure she will the second she can write on her blog again.

Reality Steve,

During the sensual date with blonde surprise-eyebrows girl, did you see the fly attached to her ass? Hilarious.

Comment: No, I missed that.

Has Carly ever mentioned that she’s Zak’s sister? Even if it wasn’t ever shown, did Chris know? We haven’t seen her mention it, so I doubt she did. I think Chris Harrison even addressed it in his interview with this week.

And one of my friends just posted this on facebook (a little tongue in cheek but probably not enough)
Erica Rose from The Bachelor JUST RESPONDED TO MY TWEET DIRECTLY!!! You can take me home now, Jesus. My life is complete.

I told him friendship with her is best avoided . . .

Comment: I hate to tell your friend this, but they need to get a life.


I noticed in your most recent readers email article, there was a question and answer from you:

“6. To me Kaitlyn is the breakout character. Isn’t she the new girl-next door Canadian like Jillian? And they made her the Bachelorette.”
“Yes, they did. But only because the Jason/Molly/Melissa ending happened the way it did. Jillian was not gonna get the gig. Molly was.”

Now, you’ve said on numerous occasions that because of the timing of the bachelorette, there is no way the #2 girl could be the bachelorette. Given that, and the fact that Molly would have been ‘extra’ hung up on Jason (she did tell him emphatically he was making a mistake – it would have been even more difficult to believe she could just move on that quickly), how could have Molly got the gig?


Comment: Back in 2009 (Jason’s season), I’m pretty sure they weren’t on the same shooting schedule as they are now. And if they were, then it was something I didn’t think about back then. Now, it’s much more prevalent. Logically, it can’t happen.

Hi Steve –

I’m a longtime reader (since Jake’s season), and haven’t sent in any questions or comments for a while but here are a few…

– What did production think of Chris? I know you mentioned they were less than thrilled with Juan Pablo. Chris seems like a dud. Doesn’t have a spine around the girls and has a very difficult time communicating. He seems like a nice guy, but I would find these qualities to be a huge turn-off. Did production struggle with him at all? It seems like in the past leads have tended to be more on the eloquent side regarding speaking in front of the group, and also in potentially confrontational situations, and Chris has not (to date) demonstrated either of these abilities. I think Chris is doing exactly what they say and that’s what they want. Handles himself well with the media, doesn’t rock the boat, etc.

– Ashley is extraordinarily hypocritical. She claims that the other girls drink too much and aren’t ladylike (like herself), however she seems to always have a glass of wine in her hand and is the first person in the room to trash another girl behind her back. Do you think she is truly a virgin, as she claims to be? Don’t forget wearing white nighties on dates. Or a romper. Whatever it was, if she even bent her back at a 45 degree angle, we’d be able to see her glory hole. Well, according to Carly, her mouth isn’t a virgin.

– Chris gets SO excited whenever Whitney accepts a rose. Each time he looks giddy as if she just said yes to a proposal. Give it til March 9th.

– You have said time and time again that the runner-up contestant on the Bachelor will never be the Bachelorette due to timing of production. However, last week you also stated in reader emails that the Bachelorette gig would have been Molly’s. For your reference …


So based on what you said about Molly, the runner up COULD in fact be the Bachelorette?! Wasn’t it also leaked that Sean’s runner up (Lindsey?) was pursued to be the Bachelorette, but she said no and had already moved on to another man? Funny how I got back-to-back questions regarding this. See previous answer.

– Britt is all kinds of horrid, and I know you have her as your front runner for the Bachelorette, but ABC certainly isn’t painting her in a light that would be favorable for the Bachelorette (prefers being single, not wanting kids, being two-faced, sleeping with make-up on, not showering or shaving, etc.). It also seemed very obvious that she has no fear of heights (I have never seen someone with a fear so quickly turn on that and eager to jump into a hot air balloon – she had zero anxiety over that and came across as more excited and comfortable than someone who loves heights!). Perhaps she was smart enough to pretend during the interview process that she had a fear of heights, hoping for one of those special dates so she could “overcome” her “fear”. Plus that fact other people mentioned that she is an “actress”/waitress. Once you have her as the lead, it’s just basically a “dating” game, and ABC loses its credibility in trying to create a love story with a proposal at the end. There is no way she has gone, within a couple months, from loving single life to wanting to settle down and get married – they just couldn’t pull that off. I could easily still see a storyline with Britt as the lead. Will they do it is a different question.

– Did Andi ever get a job? She left her assistant prosecutor job after her season ended – has she found employment again? Not as far as I know. She’s working as a fashion designer now. You know, like every girl who leaves this show tries to do.

– I know you could care less about these leads and contestants, but was there ever a couple you were routing for (either on-air, or after the season)? I think Ashley & JP were the only ones I legitimately thought had a chance to make it once their season was over. Of course I expressed doubt and said I wouldn’t believe it til I see it, but I did sense they could actually end up making it.

Thanks for all of your posts! Keep them coming!!

Boy you really screwed the pooch on your “what happens tonight” before the episode yesterday. You said Mackenzie and Samantha are eliminated at the rose ceremony. There wasn’t even a rose ceremony! Think this just proves all of your predictions are wrong… (yeah, I’m kidding.)

But seriously… who is Samantha? Has she said 4 words all season? I’m guessing she has set the Bachelor record for appearing in more episodes than words spoken.

As for the episode itself, I usually just laugh at the episodes and the women themselves, but last night I actually got agitated because of one line… “Isn’t my story fantastic?” Wow. I would like to say it was editing but, that’s a really hard one swallow. To top it off with shoving your tongue down another guys throat after telling your “fantastic story” is unreal. I don’t condone violence against women, but she really needs to be bitch slapped. I hear what you’re saying. But honestly, the “my story is fantastic” could’ve been an answer to any question really. We’re not seeing the question she was asked that led to that response. So while shown in the context of talking to Chris about her husband, of course people will just assume that’s what she’s referring to. She never sat right in front of Chris and said, “My story is amazing isn’t it…tragic, but amazing. I love my story.” And no, it wasn’t a voiceover. We do see her saying those words in an ITM. We just don’t know what she was saying that about. I know we all want to believe it was about her late husband because it makes her look crazy, and in no way am I trying to defend her, I’m just telling you how the show works and it’s at least possible that was answer to something completely different.

I’m pretty sure one of Chris’ thoughts too was “Holy hell… I got a lot of women here whose husband have died. What the hell is ABC trying to do to me?”

Anything funnier this year than Ashley calling someone else “not real” and saying “she is not wife material”? I know its not the end, but I would love to see Chris pick her and then have a follow up series of her living on a farm. Might even be funnier than Paris Hilton and the Nicole Richie on The Simple Life. You won’t have to worry about that after next week.

Is Britt for real? Sleeping in makeup? I will never understand the insecurity of some women.

Comment: I’m sure she doesn’t do that in everyday life since there’s no way your face could look like that if you did, but for the show? I could see it. Hey, some women are vain.

Hey Steve!

Great job as always, keep it up! I had a few questions:

1) Everyone keeps speculating about how Ashley S could’ve passed the psych exam. But I think it’s pretty obvious that the producers cast some nutso girls just for drama. I mean, not like they need to go to the psych ward pronto, but they’re missing a few screws. However, I’m wondering if producers would ever hire an actress to play a certain role. Do you think Ashley S could’ve been paid to act like that? It seemed pretty extreme. No. They don’t need to. You find a couple weird girls already, feed them some alcohol, mix some editing, and you don’t need actresses.

2) I know you are pretty confident that Britt will be chosen as the next Bachelorette, but it seems to me pretty unlikely that they would cast someone who didn’t even make it to the final four. I know she eliminated herself, Chris and her had a strong connection, she got a lot of screen time, etc. but I would bet that in this instance they’ll pull an Emily and cast a former contestant from a previous season. There really don’t seem to be any strong contenders this season in the final four. Jade – obviously not because of her past. Whitney – won, so no. Becca – quiet virgin. boring. and Kaitlyn – kinda slutty and too wild. I would love to see a former contestant with a big fan base come back like Michelle Money! That would be the best season ever! I’m starting to have my doubts about who from this season will get the gig. But we’ve seen 13 straight seasons of them keeping it in the family. I don’t see why they’d change.

3) When you mentioned Elan the producer in your blog, I thought I remembered him from before and I looked him up. Whatever happened to his relationship with Casey Shteamer? Also, what’s up with this twitter rant he apparently had last spring? Pretty much anything Elan says on Twitter is for effect and just to get a rise out of people. He proved that with the whole plane incident with the chick in seat 7A that he made up.

4) Why do you think the producers didn’t show us the truth or dare game that the girls played on the group date at the lake? Seems like this would’ve been more entertaining than Kelsey whining and getting stung by a bee (if she didn’t fake that too). Not sure.

5) And details on what happened with Kelsey and her “panic attack?” I’m sure you’ll touch on that in your recap, but in case you don’t… Not sure other than what we saw. I guess she felt she was responsible for Chris cancelling the cocktail party so that sent her into a panic.

6) Any info on Chris Harrison trying to hook up with former contestants? Tell us! WE WANT NAMES! Just know it’s happened.

Thanks again for being so awesome! Love the spoilers!

Hi there,

I probably should be spending more time on my dissertation than sending in a question about the Bachelor, but I have a random question for you (that maybe you’ve addressed before?)

I was reading some random article about Sean and his book, and he mentioned Chris Harrison is living the life, and golfing each week during the Bachelor/ette etc. I also noticed Chris H. is credited as host of the show, but I was wondering if he also serves as a producer-type figure involved in big decisions like editing, talking to the girls outside of filming during ITMs, or if he is truly just a host (with lots of insider information)? The reason I ask is because we all have such a great impression of Chris Harrison and most people who watch seem to like him, but I was just curious if he is involved in any of the “manipulations” the show does.

Thanks, love your page!

Comment: He knows what’s going on and knows everyone’s storyline, and will occasionally talk to the girls off camera, but not much. He doesn’t buddy up with them or anything. Well, unless it’s after the show and he’s trying to get in their pants. But during the show, he just does his thing and yeah, Sean’s right, he’s living the life. Gets to travel, play golf, and doesn’t have to do much.

Hi Steve,

Quick question for you. Do you think there’s any chance that both Zak and Carly Waddell may both be on BIP this summer? I think it would be a kind of entertaining dynamic to have a brother and sister. Although listening to them sing family duos all the time would get super annoying.

Love the blog, keep up the good work.

Comment: Zak got engaged over Christmas, so I doubt that’ll be happening.

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  1. hattiebloom

    February 4, 2015 at 10:26 AM

    I don’t necessarily mind that Steve gave the family of what’s his name a platform to speak, but when the tone of the letters turned to the clearly existing family beef with Juelia—ya lost me. They lost me.

    I agree with the letter writer about Witney not being attractive. I don’t find her attractive at all. I also think she’d look a lot better as a brunette.

    Andi and Josh’s problem was Andi and Josh. Two big self important egos does not a healthy relationship make. They were doomed.

    I have Raynaud Syndrome…..I guess. My fingers go numb as easily as holding a cold drink. It’s not a big deal in the big scheme of things……in fact, I would probably never name it or claim it. There are many other real health issues. This ain’t one of ’em.

    Dear Lord, please don’t let Britt be Bachelorette. I would have to take an anti-nausea tablet before each show. She’s a wannabe and a phony… many are…..but girl makes it real obvious.

  2. arod

    February 4, 2015 at 10:37 AM

    Hi Steve,

    Just curious – since both the contestants and the producers are fully aware how bad they are making the contestants look – how do they remain friends? Especially Courtney Robertson, I mean she sounds pretty pissed at the show in her book, and then went to the premiere and posted photos with Elan…

    Also, I have this feeling that Michelle Money really wants to be Bachelorette, and would make a very entertaining season.

  3. vessel

    February 4, 2015 at 10:59 AM

    I love Michelle Money but she’s 34 years old. They have never had a female lead even close to that old before.

  4. angelfish

    February 4, 2015 at 11:58 AM

    Michelle is way too overexposed within the Bachelor franchise and has left too many previous bachelor bodies in her wake. Talk about being a “Black Widow!”

    They might as well just hire her to be Chris Harrison’s co-host on the next BIP. That way she can get at the guys she hasn’t managed to bag yet.

  5. gerty2

    February 4, 2015 at 1:11 PM

    I am also beginning to think that the producers may need to go back to old seasons of The Bachelor to find their next Bachelorette. Has there been another season with so many train wreck women? My thinking right now is maybe Nikki Ferrell… I feel like they spent A LOT of time talking to her at the season premiere and so many people feel sorry for her dating Juan Pablo… And she was surprisingly well spoken and professional in all her after-the-breakup interviews…

  6. vessel

    February 4, 2015 at 1:40 PM

    Nikki has made it very clear she can’t stand being under constant public scrutiny, and she loathes being followed around by cameras. Imo she’d not be high on their list of choices. Plus she’s very difficult and demanding, and isn’t a “fan favorite.” Too bad Renee from Juan Pablo’s season got married, she’d probably have been a popular choice. Honestly I can’t think of anyone from the past few seasons as a likely candidate. It’s always so obvious whom they will choose, it’s kind of interesting to have no clear choice this time!

  7. angelfish

    February 4, 2015 at 2:03 PM

    Totally agree, vessel.

    Nikki & Juan Pablo were on “Couples Therapy” as a direct result of The Bachelor, and she was as bitchy, difficult and uncomfortable there. She may still be TB “family”, but I can’t see ABC ever putting her in a lead role.

  8. rob22

    February 4, 2015 at 3:59 PM

    The emailer that didn’t like the term “lady bits”…. what alternative is she suggesting? Landing strip? Glory hole, maybe?

  9. vessel

    February 4, 2015 at 4:15 PM

    “lady bits” annoys me, too. I had to agree when they said it makes them cringe. me too. There has to be a better alternative.

  10. angelfish

    February 4, 2015 at 4:36 PM

    The term “genitalia” is anatomically correct and pretty much encompasses all the “bits”. But it’s kind of a grown-up word…I don’t know if it belongs in this franchise….*LOL*

  11. gobsmacked

    February 4, 2015 at 7:10 PM

    The reaction to the whole conversation about suicide online everywhere just proves how sensitive and ridiculous it was of the producers to put it in the show. Agree with the writer saying it’s not a natural death and seemingly creates more pain for probably everyone. This season we have Kelsy the Widow, Julia the Widow, while most people are upset about how they both acted on the show, reactions seem very different. Kelsey being called out for her odd behavior and “awesome story” comment, I guess one can’t say anything positive about their husband’s death. and Julia, the insensitive, untruthful one using her kid against the dad’s family. Chris escapes both women which would have been a nightmare.

    This season ABC has got to love the ratings so the drama is working. Surely Kelsy’s on her way out so we can get down to the final for and see the Brit, Jade, Whitney finals. Jade, even with her past, would make a good Bachelorette. All the guys would know what they’re gettin’ and no reason to think it wouldn’t be steamy.

    I think Chris and Whitney might have a chance, she appears to be willing to wait it out. Chris though, is he really a catch?

  12. missannmcd

    February 9, 2015 at 12:28 PM

    The following is an excerpt from a letter posted by RS from a viewer:
    “The idea that Dustin chose to die for her and her child is completely ridiculous. He was mentally ill, so perhaps his responsibility for his actions was diminished. But ultimately he made an incredibly selfish decision. The fact that the family is more angry at her for talking about how he hurt her than they are at him for denying his child a father is incredibly sad to me.”
    I see things similarly with the poster although I disagree with the selfish aspect. I see suicide as a desperate action taken when a person either can’t see a way to go, a way out, or can’t imagine living with the outcome. A divorce or death of a loved one or living a life of what feels to them, filled with grief, pain, loneliness, depression, poor health or any other condition that has gone on for long periods of time. People lose hope! They are overwhelmed and just want it to all stop. Speaking personally, I admit I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts half of my life. To those I love and return love to me; I could not hurt them by ending my life. I would rather suffer through living than to suffer them by dying. As for the parents of Dustin, I think by romanticizing his intent to end his life (so hers/baby life will improve), they are in a form of denial. Hopefully, it will be resolved in the process of grief. His death is not a benefit to others in the way they are perceiving it.

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