Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” & Final Reaction to the Family Letters from Last Week

Subject: IDIOT

Your memory is TERRIBLE!!! The episode where everyone found out that Eric Hill died didn’t end in a rose ceremony either!!!

Comment: Yes!!!! Apparently it is!!!! Forgot that one last season with Andi!!!! I think I should be burned at the stake for forgetting that!!!!

Not sure Britt will be the next Bachelorette. I think they’d give her a way better edit if they were planning on casting her. Not to mention she’s rapidly losing fans after last nights episode.

What about Andi? I mean now that her & Josh are broken up you’d think they would give her the role again? I mean hey, why not, they let whatshisface have two goes at it and they let Emily on even though she was the final girl.

I’m also thinking Carly could possibly have it. People like her and she’s gorgeous and seems like a lot of fun. Crazy eyebrows and all.

Lastly I’m thinking it could go to Kaitlyn. I know you don’t seem to like her all too much and think she’s a joke, but many people find her refreshing and I’d say she probably has the most fans out of everyone. Can’t deny she would be a lot of fun to watch.

Let me know what you think.

Comment: Andi is not going to be the “Bachelorette” on back-to-back seasons. Lets get that out of our minds now.

Don’t see it with Carly or Kaitlyn either.

Usual shenanigans as I am a long time reader and not a first time writer… Love the blog, you are the only reason I am even tempted to get a twitter account, and of course you remain the only reason why I watch the show any longer.

First- I appriciate the reader email in the post today about Kelsey- different perspective and completely logical

Second- My boyfriend who is now sucked into Bachelornation (won’t even let me tell him the spoilers- calls me a ruiner) noticed in the last scene in the balloon that there is a piece of grass near the bottom right corner… editing mistake or just a shot from the ground who knows just thought it was interesting. Yes, they definitely had a few shots looking up at them but while they were still on the ground.

Third- Great add with Nell and the Vanderpump column- LOVE IT- that show is tragic and amazing all at the same time- tell Nell to keep up the great work. You should tell her yourself. Leave a comment or email her through her site which is linked at the bottom of the column.

And lastly… looks like someone has been reading your column… there is a distinct reason why number 2 and 3 are where they are and well number 1 is a total shot in the dark- before you say it Andy Dorfman will never be the bachelorette again makes no sense. I agree with you Britt is most likely it who cares what the haters say now- hell Andy was thrashed because of her atrocious case of RBF during Juany-Ps season. Yes, E! reads me and will never credit me for anything for fear of ruining their relationship with the show. They are in bed with them.

Dear RealitySteve,

As much as I hate defending Jade, I knew after watching the show very few people would understand her being “cold”. My daughter, who is 16, was diagnosed with Raynaud’s syndrome last year. Please look it up, its a really thing. Many people do not know they have it because symptoms vary in severity in each person. It doesn’t matter if your from a cold state or not. My daughters hands can turn blue just by holding a cold drink (we call her hands the hands of death, as they can get that cold). It is also extremely painful when you do warm up. Now I am not saying that Jade has this, as she is not my favorite person on the show. But there are people out there that deal with this on a daily basis. Just wanted you to know this is a real thing. Love your site keep up the good work.

Comment: She could very well have it, but since she didn’t say it, I guess we don’t know. So basically you’re saying she’s Elsa from Frozen?


I am sure you have been asked this before, but I could not find the question/answer.

Who picks who will go on the one-on-one dates? Does the Bachelor tell the producers who he would like a one-on-one date with? Do the producers pick the one-on-one date hoping to get the best story line that night? Does the bachelor in consultation with the producers decide who will get the one-on-one date?

I would think the Bachelor would like the one-on-ones with the women he really was interested in. For the entertainment value that the producers want, this could be at cross purposes. The want a girl who can give them a better story.

Look forward to your answer.

Still not convinced that any of these girls really want to live in Arlington Iowa.

Comment: The producers choose the locations and set up all the dates. The lead tells them which girls they like, but don’t necessarily say “I want this girl on this date.”

Don’t make too much fun of me for dissecting this so intensely, but I also thought it while watching the episode last night so I thought I would give you my two cents:

It seems like Ashley I. just misconstrued/misunderstood Britt’s statement about having a family…and given her past record for drama and immaturity I’m more inclined to believe that’s what happened…when she first brought it up, she said that Britt responded to Ashley I and couple of other girls saying their whole life goal was to get a husband and have kids and a family…chances are high that Britt was responding to that being their only goals in life, not the fact that they want to have a husband and kids.

Also what a coincidence, Britt and Chris talk about their plans for kids in the future on the same day the girls are back at the house, coincidentally having a conversation about Britt saying the exact opposite to Ashley I…

I also did read (Farmer) Chris’s “blog” from this week and thought it was interesting that he defended Britt against the “no shower” and “sleeps in her makeup” comments…but then ended it all with “She seemed sincere when she was telling me about her desire for marriage and kids. All I can say is stay tuned…” It will be interesting to see what edit the producers give her voluntary exit…

Comment: Not to mention the Instagram post she made Monday night that I included in yesterday’s column.

Hey Steve,

Your recaps and reader emails are always a good read.

First off, I am actually pretty disgusted by Kelsey. Maybe the email you included in your recap is true, but either way I think its shameful for both Kelsey and the producers (more so for producers if the email theory is legit, obviously). After she told the girls about her husband dying so matter-of-factly and couldn’t remember the name, I looked over at my wife and asked her to promise me that if I die, she’ll remember what I died from. Lets hope she does.

Chris Harrison’s blog seemed to hint that there may be some mental illness going on there, but I take that with a grain of salt. I feel like someone so blatantly using the death to win over Chris is worse than Juelia talking about her husband because at less she sounded genuine, but maybe she’s just a better actress.

You were pretty defensive of Britt in your recap, which is fine since you have her pegged as the next lead. I don’t equate Britt asking Chris about “validating that behavior” to Andi calling out Juan Pablo on everything, though, because I feel like people already disliked JP so Andi actually gained Bachelorette popularity for they. You know the saying: The enemy of my enemy is my friend.But there were still plenty of people who thought she came off as a giant bitch when that happened too.

Also, it’s possible they filmed Carly’s ITM after Britt told them they took a nap together so that’s why she was so salty at Britt. Regardless, a bunch of these women (read: Kelsey, Ashley, Britt, Mackenzie) are portrayed as completely unlikeable which is the usual for the franchise.

Last thing: Is it possible that Chris said he has a preference for inexperienced girls? Between the claimed virgins (Ashley and Becca) and the girls who claimed they haven’t had sex in their most recent relationships (Carly, Britt), this can’t be a coincidence, right?

Looking forward to your reader emails tomorrow.

Comment: I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. I think they cast women who have stories. If those stories happen to include sexless relationships, then so be it.

Hi Steve,

I always thought that during the bachelor and bachelorette the girls and/or guys could not add the bachelor or bachelorette to their social media until the final show aired…is this true because I have noticed that Whitney just started following Chris.

I hope to get a response from you. Thank you

Comment: I don’t believe that’s the case. I could’ve sworn in the past others have, but I don’t follow every single one every season.

Hi Steve, I only started watching since Ashley’s season so I’m not sure about this answer. Wasn’t Trista 2nd choice before she was the bachelorette? I thought I read that somewhere so I was just checking on it since if it’s true Becca would make a great bachelorette over Britt. Becca is real and Britt seems like she’s about herself. Carly would be better also, she is looking for love and seems sincere. Love your site and humor! Keep up the great work.

Comment: Yes, Trista finished second. She’s the only girl ever to finish 2nd to get the “Bachelorette” gig. However, that was also 12 years ago when the show was on a different shooting schedule.

I can’t make this any clearer: As long as they keep the same shooting schedule, and the “Bachelorette” starts their filming the same week that the “Bachelor” finale airs (like it has for the past 5 seasons), the girl who finished 2nd on the “Bachelor” will never end up with the gig.

Steve Love your blog, love your sarcasm . You make me laugh as well as think about the things that happen on this show. One thing I have noticed in the past few episodes and I have not really seen much mentioned about it. Have you noticed that it seems Britt is the one girl that has some of the other girls hanging all over her and very touchy feely. I noticed her and Jilian and now Jillian is gone I saw Kelsey last night up against her and rubbing her arm etc. It seems weird that the other girls dont act like that with each other as much as I have seen Britt with other girls? Just stuck out as different than the other gils. What do you think.

Comment: Remember in Britt’s intro video she specifically said she’s a touchy feely person as we saw her walking on Hollywood Blvd giving random hugs to strangers. So I guess it shouldn’t surprise anyone.

Hi Steve

This is more of an observation and I wanted to get your thoughts. When Kelsey was telling her story to the girls Britt was all over her rubbing her and hugging her as if they were BFF’s. Then when Kelsey was freaking out on the floor having her panic attack the camera pans to show the rest of the girls staring with confused/annoyed faces. If that was your house BFF wouldn’t you run to see if she was okay? Maybe it’s just the stupid editing but that was my first thought. I was surprised not one of the girls ran to check on her ….maybe they will next week?

Comment: Something definitely seemed weird about it that no one reacted to Kelsey wailing away in the bathroom.


It’s very nice of you to give a plug to the Chris’ blogs. I definitely wouldn’t have taken the time to check them out if you didn’t mention them and actually link them in your column.

That being said, I noticed something Host Chris said about Kelsey – that he thinks she meant “she had a great love story.”

Idk if this makes sense but I know a lot of things are taken out of context and I’m sure you got tons of emails on Kelsey. But like the other emailer said with the editing – I cannot imagine someone who lost their husband saying that the tragedy was amazing in any way. Maybe the producers asked her “Hey, Kelsey the fact that you met Sanderson so early in life, you knew right away he was the one, had an amazing relationship, you knew he was the one at 19 only after 3 months, you guys stayed together for all that time despite being so young and loved each other so much – that is an amazing story right, how you guys knew right away you both had met THE one?” Kelsey could have said “yes it’s an amazing story, tragic, but amazing.” And maybe she was thinking about the good times with him and how it was love at first site when she labeled it amazing and maybe that’s why she was smiling.

I don’t particularly like Kelsey and keep an open mind with this show about the producer manipulation, putting sound bites together to say something completely different, putting voice overs on something that person wasn’t talking about – but I cannot imagine anyone being that nonchalant and happy when saying something like that unless it was taken out of context or coerced which I know this show does all the time.

Anyway, just some unsolicited feedback – I also really like the Monday columns and the separate reality Steve days! The short monday column is great!

I have been a loyal reader for yearsss – probably about 7 years! And I know you say a lot of people come to you for the episode by episode spoilers I think a lot of your longtime readers don’t mind if you don’t have every single rose ceremony, date rose or location down – they like reading your take on this silly show, some behind the scenes stuff and the insight you provide! So, thank you! 🙂

Comment: What you state is entirely possible. Exactly what I’m talking about. We don’t know what she was answering that question to.

Hi Steve,

I hope you enjoyed the Super Bowl last Sunday. It’s pretty much the only football game I watch on any given year and I thought this one was particularly great. Plus I was rooting for the Patriots (more specifically Tom Brady’s dimple) so all is good.

I have a couple questions on BIP2.

1) Do you think that some of the participants from last year are likely to be asked back ?(like Lucy or Jackie) I’m sure there will be people who were on the first one who appear again. But I have no idea who. We’re still 4 months away from that show beginning filming.
2) Do you think that since we now know what the whole concept is, more former contestants will be willing to participate? (unless they are going to change it up…but I doubt that) There are plenty of contestants probably begging to be on that show. These people love the attention. And if they’re not on a season, no one’s talking about them.

About this week’s episode, I guess things just keep getting crazier. I agree with you that Britt is a potential Bachelorette, but what do you think about Carly’s chances? I’m sure her fan base has expanded this week given the story she told (without undue drama which is refreshing) and how she handled herself in the 2nd part of her date with Chris.
The whole deal with Kelsey’s panic attack was weird, with the girls just sitting there with no reaction at all…You would think if only out of curiosity they would rush over to see what happened. Or is it all in the editing again? It’s hard to have a valid reading on the situation when you know the show manipulates everything.
I was wondering about the woman who was helping Kelsey, is she from the production staff or a medic that they keep on standby?

Thanks for your very entertaining comments, keep up the good work!

Take care.

Comment: I’m sure you’ve read my thoughts on Carly as next “Bachelorette” by now in this column.

I’m sure it was a local medic.

So this isn’t a specific question, just would like to get your thoughts.

We all know that Twitter has become a huge part of Bachelor viewing, which means hopeless (oblivious) romantics and cyber bullies alike are out with a vengeance. It comes with the territory. And while I hate the two extremes and enjoy the comical, light hearted comments, I found one particular tweet that bothered me Monday night.

I saw a tweet from Bachelor producer Elan Gale that read this:

I’m hope one day I’ve achieved so much in my life that there is nothing left to do but write mean comments to strangers on the Internet

Here’s one standout response:

not being mean – simply curious – where do you find some of these girls? Do you know they’re crazy going in?
and someone wrote a since deleted response stating that the editing of the show encourages mean tweets (perfect response, in my opinion)

I thought it was pretty bold of someone whose job is to manipulate, embarrass and provoke “contestants” for ratings to now state that being mean on the internet is wrong. This show has made an example out of two widows and two men that our no longer with us, just this season alone. I won’t even touch on the Kelsey subject because I see the same characteristics that we saw in Michelle Money & Courtney Robertson who most people now like. The Bachelor franchise loves controversy, they create it. Why act like the controversy created by your job is ‘mean’?

Comment: It’s because the casual viewer of this show has no idea about the manipulation the producers do to the contestants on a daily basis, so Elan can hide behind that. Every producer on this show knows what they do to the contestants is pretty sh**ty. They’re fully aware. But it’s a job to them and it puts food on their table and pays their bills so I guess they don’t care. If they did, they’d quit.

I think some sympathy for Kelsey is right. I agree with the possibilities described in the email your posted today (Tuesday) which argued that Kelsey was manipulated (imagine that) by producers to tell her story and then made sarcastic comments about ‘my story’. I can also see why she later may have collapsed/had a breakdown, whatever.

I base my theory on my experience of being widowed twice. The circumstances were not the same as for Kelsey or Juelia, however loss and the resulting grief are similar. I was lucky to be supported and have no family dissention and am older and hopefully wiser than these Bachelorettes. I can understand why the grief and then being on this show would create unbelievable pressures that cause behavior that makes no sense or reactions that seem extreme.

I agree that Kelsey and Juelia probably should not have been on a dating show given their experiences., however I can understand that they may have wanted to try something ‘out of the box’ to break out of their grief.

I also understand that producer editing makes garbage of our opinions, I have watched this show from the first season (what a loser) and have followed your Blog since before you got spoilers so I get that what we see is probably not what happened.

Comment: There’s a lot that happens on this show that we never see, and never will. It’s why you have to take everything with a grain of salt and not necessarily buy everything that they’re selling.

Just a few random questions…

1) Could you see either Tenley or Lindzi Cox as next Bachelorette if they decide to go with a former contestant? They both seemed well liked on their seasons. Although I have no idea if either are currently in relationships so that would obviously make a difference.No.

2) Who is your one all-time favorite female contestant? Based on looks and personality.Emily O’Brien probably.

3) Love FNL thanks to you. Who is your favorite character/storyline? Did you watch the seasons while they were airing or did you discover it after it came to Netflix? I think I started watching after season 1 ended. I went out and bought the DVD and finished it in a weekend. Then watched every season from then on as it aired.

4) What’s the difference between someone like Jade (Playboy history) and Lucy from Juan Pablo’s season (free-spirit, loves to be naked)? For whatever reason I can’t see Jade running around naked on BIP 2. I guess that’s where I could see some truth in her statement about being shy. Which type of girl would you rather date? Neither.

5) Do you think ABC is finding out some of your sources and that’s why you had a little bit harder time figuring out spoilers for this season? They don’t have a clue.

6) Awhile ago you mentioned a “Where Are They Now” segment that aired and your parts were later pulled from it. Do you think a show like this would ever be done again to update us on some of the more recent contestants? It’s possible. It was a show on E!, so I guess if they decided to do one again they could.

7) Have you heard any rumors about possible DWTS contestants for the upcoming season? Nope.

Sorry for all the questions! Thank you for even allowing your readers to write and taking the time to answer! Much appreciated.

Hi Steve –

Why are all of the women wearing the same unflattering shade of hot pink lipstick? Did the producers have them do that? Or did they all receive it in their goody bags? They all look so much prettier and natural looking without it!! (Plus it’s gross how it keeps rubbing off on Chris and giving him magenta colored lips as well.)

Comment: I’m sure it’s in their gift bags they all get at the beginning of the season.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.

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  1. hattiebloom

    February 4, 2015 at 10:26 AM

    I don’t necessarily mind that Steve gave the family of what’s his name a platform to speak, but when the tone of the letters turned to the clearly existing family beef with Juelia—ya lost me. They lost me.

    I agree with the letter writer about Witney not being attractive. I don’t find her attractive at all. I also think she’d look a lot better as a brunette.

    Andi and Josh’s problem was Andi and Josh. Two big self important egos does not a healthy relationship make. They were doomed.

    I have Raynaud Syndrome…..I guess. My fingers go numb as easily as holding a cold drink. It’s not a big deal in the big scheme of things……in fact, I would probably never name it or claim it. There are many other real health issues. This ain’t one of ’em.

    Dear Lord, please don’t let Britt be Bachelorette. I would have to take an anti-nausea tablet before each show. She’s a wannabe and a phony… many are…..but girl makes it real obvious.

  2. arod

    February 4, 2015 at 10:37 AM

    Hi Steve,

    Just curious – since both the contestants and the producers are fully aware how bad they are making the contestants look – how do they remain friends? Especially Courtney Robertson, I mean she sounds pretty pissed at the show in her book, and then went to the premiere and posted photos with Elan…

    Also, I have this feeling that Michelle Money really wants to be Bachelorette, and would make a very entertaining season.

  3. vessel

    February 4, 2015 at 10:59 AM

    I love Michelle Money but she’s 34 years old. They have never had a female lead even close to that old before.

  4. angelfish

    February 4, 2015 at 11:58 AM

    Michelle is way too overexposed within the Bachelor franchise and has left too many previous bachelor bodies in her wake. Talk about being a “Black Widow!”

    They might as well just hire her to be Chris Harrison’s co-host on the next BIP. That way she can get at the guys she hasn’t managed to bag yet.

  5. gerty2

    February 4, 2015 at 1:11 PM

    I am also beginning to think that the producers may need to go back to old seasons of The Bachelor to find their next Bachelorette. Has there been another season with so many train wreck women? My thinking right now is maybe Nikki Ferrell… I feel like they spent A LOT of time talking to her at the season premiere and so many people feel sorry for her dating Juan Pablo… And she was surprisingly well spoken and professional in all her after-the-breakup interviews…

  6. vessel

    February 4, 2015 at 1:40 PM

    Nikki has made it very clear she can’t stand being under constant public scrutiny, and she loathes being followed around by cameras. Imo she’d not be high on their list of choices. Plus she’s very difficult and demanding, and isn’t a “fan favorite.” Too bad Renee from Juan Pablo’s season got married, she’d probably have been a popular choice. Honestly I can’t think of anyone from the past few seasons as a likely candidate. It’s always so obvious whom they will choose, it’s kind of interesting to have no clear choice this time!

  7. angelfish

    February 4, 2015 at 2:03 PM

    Totally agree, vessel.

    Nikki & Juan Pablo were on “Couples Therapy” as a direct result of The Bachelor, and she was as bitchy, difficult and uncomfortable there. She may still be TB “family”, but I can’t see ABC ever putting her in a lead role.

  8. rob22

    February 4, 2015 at 3:59 PM

    The emailer that didn’t like the term “lady bits”…. what alternative is she suggesting? Landing strip? Glory hole, maybe?

  9. vessel

    February 4, 2015 at 4:15 PM

    “lady bits” annoys me, too. I had to agree when they said it makes them cringe. me too. There has to be a better alternative.

  10. angelfish

    February 4, 2015 at 4:36 PM

    The term “genitalia” is anatomically correct and pretty much encompasses all the “bits”. But it’s kind of a grown-up word…I don’t know if it belongs in this franchise….*LOL*

  11. gobsmacked

    February 4, 2015 at 7:10 PM

    The reaction to the whole conversation about suicide online everywhere just proves how sensitive and ridiculous it was of the producers to put it in the show. Agree with the writer saying it’s not a natural death and seemingly creates more pain for probably everyone. This season we have Kelsy the Widow, Julia the Widow, while most people are upset about how they both acted on the show, reactions seem very different. Kelsey being called out for her odd behavior and “awesome story” comment, I guess one can’t say anything positive about their husband’s death. and Julia, the insensitive, untruthful one using her kid against the dad’s family. Chris escapes both women which would have been a nightmare.

    This season ABC has got to love the ratings so the drama is working. Surely Kelsy’s on her way out so we can get down to the final for and see the Brit, Jade, Whitney finals. Jade, even with her past, would make a good Bachelorette. All the guys would know what they’re gettin’ and no reason to think it wouldn’t be steamy.

    I think Chris and Whitney might have a chance, she appears to be willing to wait it out. Chris though, is he really a catch?

  12. missannmcd

    February 9, 2015 at 12:28 PM

    The following is an excerpt from a letter posted by RS from a viewer:
    “The idea that Dustin chose to die for her and her child is completely ridiculous. He was mentally ill, so perhaps his responsibility for his actions was diminished. But ultimately he made an incredibly selfish decision. The fact that the family is more angry at her for talking about how he hurt her than they are at him for denying his child a father is incredibly sad to me.”
    I see things similarly with the poster although I disagree with the selfish aspect. I see suicide as a desperate action taken when a person either can’t see a way to go, a way out, or can’t imagine living with the outcome. A divorce or death of a loved one or living a life of what feels to them, filled with grief, pain, loneliness, depression, poor health or any other condition that has gone on for long periods of time. People lose hope! They are overwhelmed and just want it to all stop. Speaking personally, I admit I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts half of my life. To those I love and return love to me; I could not hurt them by ending my life. I would rather suffer through living than to suffer them by dying. As for the parents of Dustin, I think by romanticizing his intent to end his life (so hers/baby life will improve), they are in a form of denial. Hopefully, it will be resolved in the process of grief. His death is not a benefit to others in the way they are perceiving it.

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