Reality Steve

The Bachelor 19 - Chris

The “Bachelor” Chris Overnight Date Episode Recap Incl Chris on DWTS, Bachelorette Poll, and

-We are in Bali and the dates immediately begin. Not too much standing around doing nothing. Well, at least in the beginning of the episode. They saved that for the end. I mean seriously? They started a rose ceremony with 3 girls and only one getting eliminated with 30 minutes left in the show. Good Lord that dragged on longer than the Oscars. Of course, 3 months ago you knew he was going to pick Becca over Kaitlyn last night, but not just because I told you. Hell, I SHOWED you when I gave you this video of Chris and Becca in Strawberry Point, IA on Nov. 21st, the day before the final rose ceremony:

And yes, once the previews started running during the show and once Chris pulled Becca aside, the full freak out mode started with a lot of people. “OMG…I thought you said Kaitlyn goes home this episode! He’s sending Becca away!” Really? Even though you have video evidence of her making it to the final in Iowa? Some people, I swear. Just goes to show no matter what info I give people, no matter how solid my intel is, there will always be people who don’t believe and doubt. Oh well. I’ll just chalk it up to poor parenting.

-The week in Bali begins and Kaitlyn is up first. Before you ask, I do not know the actual order they were filmed in versus what we saw last night. I actually think Whitney went first, but that’s just a guess and based on a little info from back in November but it could be wrong. Does it really matter though? I mean really. That’s about as irrelevant as you can get. Lets talk about all this drum banging in Bali. Do people just line the streets to beat drums? Do they get paid for this? Was this just for show? Please help me out here because Chris and Kaitlyn walking the streets was pretty f***ing boring. Although Kaitlyn did jump into his arms and wrap her legs around him when he first saw her, so we’re off to a good start. They go to a local temple where no kissing is allowed. I believe that place was called “Ye Temple of Blue Balls.”

-After that they end up walking the streets of Bali chillin’ with the commoners. The best part about Bali to me is how the humidity makes Kaitlyn’s hair look disgustingly gross. Talk about nappy and stringy. Geez. Get some conditioner woman. Your frizzies are killing me. I can only imagine the split ends you were dealing with out there. If you need any product, I’ll help you out. That’s what I’m here for. He even introduces Kaitlyn to one of the locals as his “girlfriend.” What he didn’t specify was that, “Yeah, she’s my girlfriend, but just for today. I got a couple other ones too coming, and I’ll call them my girlfriend too.” Not sure if this makes Kaitlyn feel special or annoyed. Why not just number her while you’re at it? “Ummmm, this is girlfriend #3. Say hi.” When Chris then let monkeys climb all over him to eat bananas and relieve themselves on his shirt, you could tell the monkeys were #TeamKaitlyn. They knew she was going home. They knew she was Girlfriend #3. So they took it out on Chris shirt. That’s what you get Chris. Don’t ever dis Kaitlyn and her monkeys ever again, ya hear? They will go ape sh** on you. Get it? Sort of? Kind of? I’m hilarious.

-Kaitlyn and Chris start talking about her hometown date and she feels it went better than she thought it would, even though she thought it would go well. Ok. She knows she struggles with opening up and she needs to do that before her ass is sent packing. “Definitely scared to tell Chris how I’m feeling…I have my guard up…feel if I let that down…weird fear of loss.” So this obviously becomes Kaitlyn’s storyline for the ending of the show. Could it be hers heading into “Bachelorette?” Absolutely. I think they should pick Britt. If they pick Kaitlyn, she’ll be fine as well. It’s not like either one would completely bomb the show. The lead doesn’t make the show anyway. Kaitlyn would be fine as the lead, I just prefer Britt. But am I still gonna watch and spoil if it’s Kaitlyn? Of course. That’s why I don’t really care who gets the role. It won’t affect me either way. I’ve already started on “Bachelorette” spoilers, already have guys set to confirm, might already know a location or two they’re headed, so I’m fine with whoever they decide to go with. I’m not gonna throw a temper tantrum or anything if it’s Kaitlyn. I’ll just have to brush up on all my Canadian jokes for next season. I’m sure Canada will love me after that.

-Uh oh. It’s Fantasy Suite card time. “Chris & Kaitlyn, welcome to the magical island of Bali. Hope you enjoy your stay. If you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay together as a couple in the fantasy suite. We’ve installed sound proof walls, and we swear we aren’t hiding any mics anywhere in the room so we can hear Kaitlyn moan, “Oh Chris, you hoser, eh” during passionate love making. Kaitlyn: “I can’t imagine saying no to that.” Chris: “I think we deserve this.” This was basically the biggest no brainer of all no brainers, right? I mean for Christ sakes, this was the girl on the Jimmy Kimmel date who told him that she didn’t care if he banged the other two girls during overnight dates because it was “part of the process.” So to any of you who inevitably ask every season, “Does the lead sleep with all three girls,” the answer is no. Every season differs. But if you really have to ask if he slept with Kaitlyn, well then, you haven’t paid attention this season. I mean, c’mon. He totes did.

-When you give a couple a tub of roses in water, they kinda have to do it don’t they? I mean, that’s basically like giving them a giant jar of lubricant. Kaitlyn is starting to feel pressure to tell Chris how she feels. Exactly. Probably because her nether regions are overheating at this point and if she doesn’t tell him she loves him, he might forget about her the next morning. Kaitlyn: “I’m completely falling in love with you.” Chris: “I’m falling in love with you too.” Hmmmm, is that the same as telling him she’s in love with him? No. She’s still giving herself an out, and still not being 100% vulnerable, and still not….ahhhh, what the hell does he care. That’s good enough to go test out the box springs, isn’t it? Double or triple reinforcement you think? I think Kaitlyn said what she needed to do to make sure that the sex meant at least something. To her. Chris liked her, he was falling for her, but he knew he wasn’t picking her. No different than any other lead in the past that slept with more than one girl on overnights knowing who they really wanted. Your “Most Sincere” Bachelor ever, America!

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32 Comments

32 Comments

  1. missannmcd

    February 24, 2015 at 10:34 AM

    Yay Kaitlin! You go be the bach/ette girl!

  2. punk

    February 24, 2015 at 11:06 AM

    If either of those girls are willing to move to Arlington and be a housewife, Chris needs to put a ring on it, and then make them happy.

    Arlington might be a great place filled with wonderful people, but going to a town with 400 people vs. Chicago or San Diego is a monumental step in lifestyle change.

    I like both the girls. They seem genuine. Hope Chris chooses correctly, because this is definitely different than the normal Bach situation. Small Town America, or Dallas/Bay Area. etc. Changes the equation for sure.

  3. coffeeinchicago

    February 24, 2015 at 11:39 AM

    I saw an interview with Sharleen from JP’s season where she talks about how they whisper because the cameras are so close to their face, and even though you’re mic’ed, in that situation it creates a false sense of intimacy. Guessing that’s why Chris whisper-dumped Kaitlyn.

    As a fellow Chicagoan, I can’t imagine commuting to Highland Park from the city. You’re looking at 90 minutes to two hours one way, either on a Metra train or sitting in horrendous traffic on 90/94. Unless she lives in the suburbs, it makes me think maybe Whitney took a job where she could telecommute…

  4. shouldbeworking

    February 24, 2015 at 11:45 AM

    I thought it interesting that in the moment of heartbreak, Kaitlyn thought to put her seat belt on while being whisked away. Safety first ! I have never seen that before in the hundred or so rejected finalists. Makes me question how much she really was wanting to be with Chris. Who would even think of that at that moment of rejection?

  5. imweezie1

    February 24, 2015 at 12:34 PM

    can’t find the link right now but one article shows Chris and Whitney on her home town. The scrubs she’s wearing say the name of the new job, not the old. she must have been there for a little while at least

  6. rob22

    February 24, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    From the Arlington article where they complain the town was wrongly portrayed. “We have a library, a bank and a medical clinic”. And?…. So, yeah cool. Those are the places I want to go hang out. A library (who needs the internet, anyway. Libraries are just so cool). A bank. Yeah, people won’t draw down on me if I try to hang out there. Medical clinic. I guess I could keep going in for colonoscopies, but wouldn’t they get wise to that after a while? Yeah, you’re right. Arlington got screwed on the portrayal!

    I do think it’s funny, though, that the Arlington stuff was just closed for the day & The Bachelor portrayed it like they were all permanently closed. As if it wasn’t bad enough.

  7. bachfann

    February 24, 2015 at 12:58 PM

    If you go back and watch Whitney’s hometown date, she is wearing scrubs from aParent, which is the place she apparently just started working at this month… interesting.

  8. peepsforpeace

    February 24, 2015 at 1:00 PM

    Steve, your comment about Kaitlin’s hair being ‘disgusting’ cause it was ‘nappy’ was RUDE. Thanks for insulting every black woman out there. Ugh.

  9. karynr

    February 24, 2015 at 1:13 PM

    My thoughts exactly…..possibly telecommuting with the new job. It would make sense for that type of position.

    I’ll be glad if it’s Katilyn. Britt got on my nerves after a while.

  10. gemsnob

    February 24, 2015 at 1:18 PM

    Steve went overboard once again with comments about Whitney. Remember they supposedly got engaged in Nov. The show is not over so they haven’t been seen in public. Even if Whitney took a different job it makes sense. It could be a year or more before any wedding. Is Chris going to support her while he is on DWTS? For God’s sake they haven’t spent one minute in public and Steve is already bashing them. I applaud Whitney for looking after herself. Not everyone is like Catherine who up and quit her job to be Sean’s lap dog while he was on DWTS. She spent a wad getting her BSN degree so is she supposed to up and quit and do nothing “hoping” that her & Chris actually make it? She is doing the smart thing and looking after herself for now. Stop hating on her judging her for taking a new job!

  11. missannmcd

    February 24, 2015 at 1:43 PM

    A new man is easier to find than a great job!

  12. betsy602

    February 24, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    If he knew Whitney was “the one” then why all the drama over Becca and Kaitlyn? I think it is all build up to Kaitlyn being the Bachelorette. He wasn’t really that in to Kaitlyn other than buddy status. Then he surprisingly gave her the group rose in the last episode. My thought is that she was promoted to build her story. Then, I think Chris H. and the producers took Chris aside and said they wanted him to send Kaitlyn home for the drama as a lead up to her being the Bachelorette.

    Whitney strikes me as there to win, playing the game to perfection. She’s watched all the shows and read the playbook and doesn’t miss a move.

    We’ll see!

  13. rob22

    February 24, 2015 at 2:33 PM

    I see why people people are getting on Whitney for “playing the game”. I mean, it’s pretty far fetched, before all the particulars, to fall in love with some random guy over six weeks, and agree to marry them. But, when that “random guy” is a farmer with a borderline stutter & permanent dumb look on his face, who lives in a God forsaken hell hole where he insists on living…. and it include the requirement that you quit your dream job, marry said doofus farmer & move to Bumphuck, Egypt…. it’s just too much to take. Plus you have RS egging everyone on. But, it could happen. What’s the Bachelor track record so far? 3% end in marriage? So…. that says it’s not impossible, right? Whitney could have found her soul mate & live happily ever after. Hey, it could happen.

  14. elizabeth82

    February 24, 2015 at 4:21 PM

    My fav part of this recap: “Ladies…you all look beautiful as usual…I’ll have the Benihana Trio with fried rice please…”

    rob22, can you not bash libraries? They’re not obsolete solely because of the advent of the internet. Thanks 🙂

    Seems Steve is in the extreme minority wanting Britt to be Bachelorette. Britt was ACTING, and she also came across as very self-centered.

    Not sure why Steve is convinced Chris wasn’t interested in finding a wife. Is he just jaded about this show (which makes sense) or is there something he knows about Chris that we don’t?

  15. dixiedeltadeb

    February 24, 2015 at 4:28 PM

    2 quick comments – Britt wears FAR too much makeup and would make the show seem even more fake when you comes out of a swim or hottub and makeup is unaffected. Also, I hope that Chris and Whitney don’t have kids – can you imagine what those two voices and laughs would be like?

  16. gailer

    February 24, 2015 at 4:34 PM

    Steve’s recap of Whitney had me LOL literally. I’m starting to be scared of her. she is after her prey, but it’s interesting that Steve says Chris is a player too and not out to get married anyway. I certainly hope so, not sure who is scarier. I can see Chris being there only to have sex and meet girls. How can he meet any in that god forsaken town?

    Rob22, you made me LOL too!

  17. hattiebloom

    February 24, 2015 at 5:09 PM

    NEWS FLASH…..this just in!!!!!!

    Becca is a lesbian.

    Whitney really is a guy AND battery operated.

    That cockle doodle doo you heard in the background as Chris dumped Kaitlyn was actually Chris throwing his voice. He’s multi-talented.

    YOU ROCK KAITLYN. BE THE ‘ETTE…..please!!!!

  18. kellygirl

    February 24, 2015 at 6:56 PM

    Sorry, but I don’t buy the idea that Chris came on this show to find a wife. He reportedly was in a seven year relationship, got engaged then got cold feet and called it off. Does anyone believe he would get married to someone he met on this show after very little time together, a few dates here and there and then trip down the aisle? About as probable as the producers portraying him as wanting to be “down on the farm” the rest of his life. Not happening. Just not happening! I give it six months and the “engagement” will blow up.

  19. willstone

    February 24, 2015 at 9:21 PM

    I generally like Steve, but his sniping at Whitney – and some of the mocking comments, too – just make me sad. This is a woman who went into health care and has spent years helping people. Whatever’s in her secret heart, whatever motivated her to go on the show, we’ve seen nothing but niceness from her throughout the season. Every eliminated contestant says Whitney’s kind and genuine. What is she supposed to do at this point, cure cancer? Lay off the nice lady.

  20. andirojas09

    February 25, 2015 at 5:17 AM

    Hi!! thank you Steve. i was wondering.. Does anyone knows if it is true that chris broke his engagement up and went back with his ex Sheena?? Ive heard does rumors…

  21. rob22

    February 25, 2015 at 6:01 AM

    willstone: just to be clear. I think Whitney’s probably all that you say. I like her too. I think it’s more delusion than phoniness that causes her to be attracted to Old McDonald and his Siberian residence requirements. She’s going to wake up one day (hopefully soon) and say “Oh, My God! Who is the dumbass laying next to me & why am I living out the movie Frozen in this God-forsaken hell hole?” Also, “Prince Chris” seems to have an alcohol issue. You almost never see him without a full glass of whisky. (Not just two fingers, but a whole glass!!) I guess that answers the question about what people do in Arlington.

  22. serapa

    February 25, 2015 at 6:30 AM

    I was all Britt Britt Britt until last night honestly. After watching I’m now team Kaitlyn.

    They kept Kaitlyn hidden until the last 2 episodes. Before then, it was the Britt show. Britt really is beautiful, but she did not get a good edit. It’s obvious who the producers had chosen back in 2014 for the next Bachelorette.

    I didn’t see it in January either. I am in the same boat as RS.

  23. Sunnyside422

    February 25, 2015 at 8:08 AM

    Since I don’t watch every episode minute by minute, I have an opinion of Chris that might not jive with others.

    All these women yammer on and on and he sits there with this dumb ass look on his face and I want to smack him. Same expression for every occasion…happy, giddy, sad, bored, etc. He is totally expressionless. And God help this bumpkin, but can he string a few sentences together?

    Maybe living out in the wildes of Arlington has rendered him mute. How can any woman with any personality stomach him? This is not a guy who is gonna grab Whitney and throw her on his brass bed and have at her! Boring. At 33, I doubt he will ever change and maybe Whitney at 29 might feel her chances of finding someone are dimming. Sorry girl, I’d keep looking. He is no great catch.

    Good recap Steve, as always! Very funny.

  24. mariet

    February 25, 2015 at 8:11 AM

    Whitney going on this show is very puzzling indeed. She lives in a great area of the country, educated, has a great job that she loves, is very pretty, and seems nice. I’m sure she is not at a loss for dates and potential relationships. There is no way she went on this show to find a husband especially Chris. Was it on a dare?

  25. mariet

    February 25, 2015 at 8:11 AM

  26. coffeeinchicago

    February 25, 2015 at 8:42 AM

    mariet — Take a look at Whitney’s network and you will find your answer.

  27. carolina

    February 25, 2015 at 9:12 AM

    Not excited about Britt or Kaitlyn as next bachelorette. When I look at this group of girls, there isn’t anyone I find I would want to watch. Britt might be the most fun to watch and she might cause some drama, but honestly, there is something about her that she is not really hygenic, she seems to tell people what she thinks they want to hear and is trying way too hard, and has looks that 10 years or so from now will have her looking not that attractive. She will not age well is my opinion strange as that may sound. I think Kaitlyn is all over the place and needs to use some Visine or something. She may be allergic to her makeup or something. HELP!

  28. keddo

    February 25, 2015 at 10:06 AM

    I would say small town prairie life isn’t so bad; you can join a church, ride dirt bikes, quads, and sleds, shoot gophers in the summer, curl in the winter…wait a sec! Arlington doesn’t have a curling rink?! What kind of a farm town is this? He should sell his land and start farming in Saskatchewan, where they have curling rinks. If he’s gonna be in the middle of nowhere, he should at least be able to curl with his wife!

  29. mariet

    February 25, 2015 at 10:36 AM

    coffee– the answer to why she went on the show?

  30. nrgrier

    February 25, 2015 at 11:22 AM

    According to Kevin Murray’s article, ‘The time I was almost a contest on the Bachlorette’ the enitre process to get cast takes over a year. Kelsey’s husband died in May of 2013. If the casting timeframe is roughly the same for all contestants then she would have sought out being on the show (which began filming in the summer of 2014) within a few months of her husbands death. SMH…

  31. agatha bee

    February 25, 2015 at 11:44 AM

    As long as it’s not Britt.

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