Reality Steve

The Bachelor 19 - Chris

The “Bachelor” Chris Overnight Date Episode Recap Incl Chris on DWTS, Bachelorette Poll, and

-When Whitney arrives to meet Chris on the dock, there is something awkward about what I’m seeing. She walks like a dude. How have I not noticed this for 9 episodes? Has she walked a lot that I just don’t remember? This walk on the plank is way too telling, like, she’s either trying to walk as unfeminine as she can or basically I haven’t been paying attention to her man walk all season and I want to punch myself. But hey, she makes up for it by right when she sees Chris, she jumps into his arms and straddles him. We are now 2-for-2. It’s all riding on Becca now. You know, the virgin. So we need her to straddle him for us to hit 1.000 tonight. Uh huh. That’ll never happen. Becca breaks out in hives just holding his hand and kissing him. We ain’t gettin’ no straddle with her. We’ll have to settle for batting .667 tonight. Not bad. Who decided on this boat anyway? It looks like it’s 500 years old and will sink at any minute. Or be taken over by that one Somalian pirate dude who says, “I’m the Captain now.” This is not going to be a safe voyage. I think the crew of Gilligan’s Island would look at this boat and go, “No way am I getting on that thing.” Ok everyone. Now in your best Seinfeld voice, “How can the professor make a radio out of a coconut, but he couldn’t fix a hole in the boat?” “A 3 hour tour? A 3 hour tour?” Classic SNL skit.

-While on the boat, Whitney takes time to start talking about her sister and what happened last week on the hometown date when sissy got a little pissy and wouldn’t give Chris permission for her sister’s hand in marriage until he knew she was the final one. Gotta hate that when it happens. The ol’ sister c**k block. Chris listened to everything Whitney had to say very intently, nodded his head when he needed to, showed genuine concern for the concern she had over what her sister said the previous week, and he responded with, “My perspective is, it doesn’t change anything.” Whitney: “He made me feel so good in that moment.” Oh I bet he did. Anything other than throwing you overboard probably would’ve made you feel that way. Hell, you got a plate of fruit to chow on, you’re in Bali on a boat, and (according to Chris Harrison) he knew he wanted to keep Becca over Kaitlyn so what the hell are you worried about? Stop talking about your sister. How about you start enjoying the moment and quit being a buzz kill. Whitney apparently listened to me because they got to jump off the boat “Goonies” style, then when back on, she tells him “I’m head over heels in love with you.” Ahhhhh, much better. That’s the ticket, Whitney. Actually tell him you’re IN LOVE with him, not that you’re FALLING in love with him. You win, others lose.

-During the nighttime portion of their date, they go to Hotel Mulia. Whitney is still freaking out it’s down to just three women at this point, when little does she know, he’s already dipped his pen into the ink of one of them. Well, that’s if Whitney wasn’t first of course. Chris brings up Arlington and since that’s his biggest insecurity, he needs to know from Whitney if that’s basically gonna be a deal breaker for her. Chris: “Arlington is 500 people. There’s nothing to do there.” Well, if the town folk weren’t happy with how Arlington was portrayed in episode 7, I’m guessing Chris isn’t doing much to help ease that pain. Talk about kicking someone when they’re down. Yikes. Easy there, Chris. I mean, it is where you live. No need to go dumping all over it after, well, pretty much all 4 girls who visited there did too. Whitney’s response: “Do I wanna be here with 400 people? Probably not.” Then she went into a diatribe to make sure her saying that didn’t make her sound like she wouldn’t do it. Talked about being a wife and a mom, and a blah blah blah…”If I moved to Arlington…it’s something I’m ready for…life takes you places…it’s not where you are, it’s who you’re with.” So yeah, basically telling Chris exactly what he wanted to hear. Whitney knows what she’s doing and basically said all the right things for nine episodes. I can’t remember one slip up by her at all. Smart, smart player. She went after what she wanted and got it. You know, it’s like she’s a pro at this or something.

-Lets get to what a lot of you have asked me since last week, and that’s this report that Whitney didn’t actually quit her job, but just took a different role at a new place. Well, according to LinkedIn it is. Here’s what I was told. She quit her job at Fertility Centers of Illinois. At the time, that’s all I was told. And she did. She no longer works there. Now she’s a marketing person for a lab in Highland Park called aParent IVF. I’ve been told the new job is much easier than the old job, and that her job now is to try and recruit fertility patients as opposed to what she did before which was getting the dude in the room to go blow one out into a cup. So yeah. What does it all mean? Hell if I know. But with Whitney telling Chris to his face last night she’d dump her job in a heartbeat for the right guy and to start popping out babies, well, shows I think that says a lot. I know they’re engaged, and I’m about as certain as I can be that these two aren’t going to get married at any point. I really think Whitney wants to win, and I really don’t think Chris ever had an intention of finding a wife on this show. I think he did it for fun, for exposure, and for a vacation. Did he start falling for these girls? I’m sure he did. But I don’t think he’s the least bit interested in marrying any of them. Do with that what you will.

-But hey, time to get down to the goodies. The date card has arrived. “Chris & Whitney, welcome to the beautiful island of Bali. Hope you enjoy your stay. If you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay together as a couple in the fantasy suite. Although you will be in a different room than the one Chris knocked the stuffing out of Kaitlyn in, we have also made sure to install soundproof walls for the sole fact that we don’t think anyone on this island of Bali could possibly handle what it’d be like to hear Whitney squeal while climaxing. So for the concern and safety of our villagers, please try and put a muzzle on that thing, or just half ass it so maybe she doesn’t hit her peak. Thank you and you will be compensated. Signed, the Island of Bali and viewers everywhere.” I think that’s what the card said. It must’ve been written in fine print on the backside. Which is probably the place that Chris explored the most on Whitney. Before this paragraph gets any more x-rated, lets move on. Oh yeah, Whitney accepted the fantasy suite because she’s horny and so is Chris. Rumor has it that Alvin, Simon, and Theodore couldn’t possibly reach the notes that these two reached in that room. #PrayforBali.

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  1. missannmcd

    February 24, 2015 at 10:34 AM

    Yay Kaitlin! You go be the bach/ette girl!

  2. punk

    February 24, 2015 at 11:06 AM

    If either of those girls are willing to move to Arlington and be a housewife, Chris needs to put a ring on it, and then make them happy.

    Arlington might be a great place filled with wonderful people, but going to a town with 400 people vs. Chicago or San Diego is a monumental step in lifestyle change.

    I like both the girls. They seem genuine. Hope Chris chooses correctly, because this is definitely different than the normal Bach situation. Small Town America, or Dallas/Bay Area. etc. Changes the equation for sure.

  3. coffeeinchicago

    February 24, 2015 at 11:39 AM

    I saw an interview with Sharleen from JP’s season where she talks about how they whisper because the cameras are so close to their face, and even though you’re mic’ed, in that situation it creates a false sense of intimacy. Guessing that’s why Chris whisper-dumped Kaitlyn.

    As a fellow Chicagoan, I can’t imagine commuting to Highland Park from the city. You’re looking at 90 minutes to two hours one way, either on a Metra train or sitting in horrendous traffic on 90/94. Unless she lives in the suburbs, it makes me think maybe Whitney took a job where she could telecommute…

  4. shouldbeworking

    February 24, 2015 at 11:45 AM

    I thought it interesting that in the moment of heartbreak, Kaitlyn thought to put her seat belt on while being whisked away. Safety first ! I have never seen that before in the hundred or so rejected finalists. Makes me question how much she really was wanting to be with Chris. Who would even think of that at that moment of rejection?

  5. imweezie1

    February 24, 2015 at 12:34 PM

    can’t find the link right now but one article shows Chris and Whitney on her home town. The scrubs she’s wearing say the name of the new job, not the old. she must have been there for a little while at least

  6. rob22

    February 24, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    From the Arlington article where they complain the town was wrongly portrayed. “We have a library, a bank and a medical clinic”. And?…. So, yeah cool. Those are the places I want to go hang out. A library (who needs the internet, anyway. Libraries are just so cool). A bank. Yeah, people won’t draw down on me if I try to hang out there. Medical clinic. I guess I could keep going in for colonoscopies, but wouldn’t they get wise to that after a while? Yeah, you’re right. Arlington got screwed on the portrayal!

    I do think it’s funny, though, that the Arlington stuff was just closed for the day & The Bachelor portrayed it like they were all permanently closed. As if it wasn’t bad enough.

  7. bachfann

    February 24, 2015 at 12:58 PM

    If you go back and watch Whitney’s hometown date, she is wearing scrubs from aParent, which is the place she apparently just started working at this month… interesting.

  8. peepsforpeace

    February 24, 2015 at 1:00 PM

    Steve, your comment about Kaitlin’s hair being ‘disgusting’ cause it was ‘nappy’ was RUDE. Thanks for insulting every black woman out there. Ugh.

  9. karynr

    February 24, 2015 at 1:13 PM

    My thoughts exactly…..possibly telecommuting with the new job. It would make sense for that type of position.

    I’ll be glad if it’s Katilyn. Britt got on my nerves after a while.

  10. gemsnob

    February 24, 2015 at 1:18 PM

    Steve went overboard once again with comments about Whitney. Remember they supposedly got engaged in Nov. The show is not over so they haven’t been seen in public. Even if Whitney took a different job it makes sense. It could be a year or more before any wedding. Is Chris going to support her while he is on DWTS? For God’s sake they haven’t spent one minute in public and Steve is already bashing them. I applaud Whitney for looking after herself. Not everyone is like Catherine who up and quit her job to be Sean’s lap dog while he was on DWTS. She spent a wad getting her BSN degree so is she supposed to up and quit and do nothing “hoping” that her & Chris actually make it? She is doing the smart thing and looking after herself for now. Stop hating on her judging her for taking a new job!

  11. missannmcd

    February 24, 2015 at 1:43 PM

    A new man is easier to find than a great job!

  12. betsy602

    February 24, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    If he knew Whitney was “the one” then why all the drama over Becca and Kaitlyn? I think it is all build up to Kaitlyn being the Bachelorette. He wasn’t really that in to Kaitlyn other than buddy status. Then he surprisingly gave her the group rose in the last episode. My thought is that she was promoted to build her story. Then, I think Chris H. and the producers took Chris aside and said they wanted him to send Kaitlyn home for the drama as a lead up to her being the Bachelorette.

    Whitney strikes me as there to win, playing the game to perfection. She’s watched all the shows and read the playbook and doesn’t miss a move.

    We’ll see!

  13. rob22

    February 24, 2015 at 2:33 PM

    I see why people people are getting on Whitney for “playing the game”. I mean, it’s pretty far fetched, before all the particulars, to fall in love with some random guy over six weeks, and agree to marry them. But, when that “random guy” is a farmer with a borderline stutter & permanent dumb look on his face, who lives in a God forsaken hell hole where he insists on living…. and it include the requirement that you quit your dream job, marry said doofus farmer & move to Bumphuck, Egypt…. it’s just too much to take. Plus you have RS egging everyone on. But, it could happen. What’s the Bachelor track record so far? 3% end in marriage? So…. that says it’s not impossible, right? Whitney could have found her soul mate & live happily ever after. Hey, it could happen.

  14. elizabeth82

    February 24, 2015 at 4:21 PM

    My fav part of this recap: “Ladies…you all look beautiful as usual…I’ll have the Benihana Trio with fried rice please…”

    rob22, can you not bash libraries? They’re not obsolete solely because of the advent of the internet. Thanks 🙂

    Seems Steve is in the extreme minority wanting Britt to be Bachelorette. Britt was ACTING, and she also came across as very self-centered.

    Not sure why Steve is convinced Chris wasn’t interested in finding a wife. Is he just jaded about this show (which makes sense) or is there something he knows about Chris that we don’t?

  15. dixiedeltadeb

    February 24, 2015 at 4:28 PM

    2 quick comments – Britt wears FAR too much makeup and would make the show seem even more fake when you comes out of a swim or hottub and makeup is unaffected. Also, I hope that Chris and Whitney don’t have kids – can you imagine what those two voices and laughs would be like?

  16. gailer

    February 24, 2015 at 4:34 PM

    Steve’s recap of Whitney had me LOL literally. I’m starting to be scared of her. she is after her prey, but it’s interesting that Steve says Chris is a player too and not out to get married anyway. I certainly hope so, not sure who is scarier. I can see Chris being there only to have sex and meet girls. How can he meet any in that god forsaken town?

    Rob22, you made me LOL too!

  17. hattiebloom

    February 24, 2015 at 5:09 PM

    NEWS FLASH…..this just in!!!!!!

    Becca is a lesbian.

    Whitney really is a guy AND battery operated.

    That cockle doodle doo you heard in the background as Chris dumped Kaitlyn was actually Chris throwing his voice. He’s multi-talented.

    YOU ROCK KAITLYN. BE THE ‘ETTE…..please!!!!

  18. kellygirl

    February 24, 2015 at 6:56 PM

    Sorry, but I don’t buy the idea that Chris came on this show to find a wife. He reportedly was in a seven year relationship, got engaged then got cold feet and called it off. Does anyone believe he would get married to someone he met on this show after very little time together, a few dates here and there and then trip down the aisle? About as probable as the producers portraying him as wanting to be “down on the farm” the rest of his life. Not happening. Just not happening! I give it six months and the “engagement” will blow up.

  19. willstone

    February 24, 2015 at 9:21 PM

    I generally like Steve, but his sniping at Whitney – and some of the mocking comments, too – just make me sad. This is a woman who went into health care and has spent years helping people. Whatever’s in her secret heart, whatever motivated her to go on the show, we’ve seen nothing but niceness from her throughout the season. Every eliminated contestant says Whitney’s kind and genuine. What is she supposed to do at this point, cure cancer? Lay off the nice lady.

  20. andirojas09

    February 25, 2015 at 5:17 AM

    Hi!! thank you Steve. i was wondering.. Does anyone knows if it is true that chris broke his engagement up and went back with his ex Sheena?? Ive heard does rumors…

  21. rob22

    February 25, 2015 at 6:01 AM

    willstone: just to be clear. I think Whitney’s probably all that you say. I like her too. I think it’s more delusion than phoniness that causes her to be attracted to Old McDonald and his Siberian residence requirements. She’s going to wake up one day (hopefully soon) and say “Oh, My God! Who is the dumbass laying next to me & why am I living out the movie Frozen in this God-forsaken hell hole?” Also, “Prince Chris” seems to have an alcohol issue. You almost never see him without a full glass of whisky. (Not just two fingers, but a whole glass!!) I guess that answers the question about what people do in Arlington.

  22. serapa

    February 25, 2015 at 6:30 AM

    I was all Britt Britt Britt until last night honestly. After watching I’m now team Kaitlyn.

    They kept Kaitlyn hidden until the last 2 episodes. Before then, it was the Britt show. Britt really is beautiful, but she did not get a good edit. It’s obvious who the producers had chosen back in 2014 for the next Bachelorette.

    I didn’t see it in January either. I am in the same boat as RS.

  23. Sunnyside422

    February 25, 2015 at 8:08 AM

    Since I don’t watch every episode minute by minute, I have an opinion of Chris that might not jive with others.

    All these women yammer on and on and he sits there with this dumb ass look on his face and I want to smack him. Same expression for every occasion…happy, giddy, sad, bored, etc. He is totally expressionless. And God help this bumpkin, but can he string a few sentences together?

    Maybe living out in the wildes of Arlington has rendered him mute. How can any woman with any personality stomach him? This is not a guy who is gonna grab Whitney and throw her on his brass bed and have at her! Boring. At 33, I doubt he will ever change and maybe Whitney at 29 might feel her chances of finding someone are dimming. Sorry girl, I’d keep looking. He is no great catch.

    Good recap Steve, as always! Very funny.

  24. mariet

    February 25, 2015 at 8:11 AM

    Whitney going on this show is very puzzling indeed. She lives in a great area of the country, educated, has a great job that she loves, is very pretty, and seems nice. I’m sure she is not at a loss for dates and potential relationships. There is no way she went on this show to find a husband especially Chris. Was it on a dare?

  25. mariet

    February 25, 2015 at 8:11 AM

  26. coffeeinchicago

    February 25, 2015 at 8:42 AM

    mariet — Take a look at Whitney’s network and you will find your answer.

  27. carolina

    February 25, 2015 at 9:12 AM

    Not excited about Britt or Kaitlyn as next bachelorette. When I look at this group of girls, there isn’t anyone I find I would want to watch. Britt might be the most fun to watch and she might cause some drama, but honestly, there is something about her that she is not really hygenic, she seems to tell people what she thinks they want to hear and is trying way too hard, and has looks that 10 years or so from now will have her looking not that attractive. She will not age well is my opinion strange as that may sound. I think Kaitlyn is all over the place and needs to use some Visine or something. She may be allergic to her makeup or something. HELP!

  28. keddo

    February 25, 2015 at 10:06 AM

    I would say small town prairie life isn’t so bad; you can join a church, ride dirt bikes, quads, and sleds, shoot gophers in the summer, curl in the winter…wait a sec! Arlington doesn’t have a curling rink?! What kind of a farm town is this? He should sell his land and start farming in Saskatchewan, where they have curling rinks. If he’s gonna be in the middle of nowhere, he should at least be able to curl with his wife!

  29. mariet

    February 25, 2015 at 10:36 AM

    coffee– the answer to why she went on the show?

  30. nrgrier

    February 25, 2015 at 11:22 AM

    According to Kevin Murray’s article, ‘The time I was almost a contest on the Bachlorette’ the enitre process to get cast takes over a year. Kelsey’s husband died in May of 2013. If the casting timeframe is roughly the same for all contestants then she would have sought out being on the show (which began filming in the summer of 2014) within a few months of her husbands death. SMH…

  31. agatha bee

    February 25, 2015 at 11:44 AM

    As long as it’s not Britt.

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