-Time for Becca’s date and it seems to have a theme about it that I can’t quite put my finger on. Is it that she sweats a lot when she’s in a hot, humid place? No, that’s not it. Is it that she wouldn’t dare leave her chiropractic assistant job to move to Middle of Nowhere, IA? Nope. Hmmmmm, maybe it’ll come to me. Oh wait, I know! She’s a virgin. Becca: “I’m waiting til marriage to have sex.” Well thank you for that. I was confused on what one was. If you were following Twitter last night, Olivia actually started getting mad that she didn’t know what it was. At first I told her it was a drink without alcohol. Then I told her after the suggestion of some people on Twitter, that it was someone who’s never been in love before. Her response: “So? Why’s that such a big deal she keeps telling him?” Ummmm, yeah. So that didn’t go over well. Good thing she started nodding off at this point in the show or else this could’ve gone on all night. I’m pretty sure by this morning she’ll completely forget what she watched. However, if Olivia ends up traumatized by this whole experience, I’m blaming Becca. Just for the fact that she had to mention she was a virgin 1,484 times last night.
-What’s with this episode and temples. I mean, I get that they’re in Bali and everything, but nothing about temples screams sexy. Do they not realize this? Chris is still worried that Becca has never been in love and Becca is talking about, well, her virginity. “It would be devastating if my virginity is a deal breaker.” Well, prepare to be devastated. Look, Chris can beat around the bush all he wants and say everything BUT that, but it obviously plays a role. He’s a 33 year old man with needs, a guy that has been known to have a wild side, and a guy that was quite the womanizer in college. Not to mention Chris Harrison has specifically mentioned in his blogs more than once that Becca is “less experienced” than others and has even compared it to high school stuff. A virgin is just never going to win the “Bachelor” period. Lets stop pretending like it’s gonna happen. 29 seasons of this show and there’s yet to be a virgin winner. I think that’s a strong enough sample size, no? Becca has every right to make the decision she has about sex. No one’s taking that away from her. But it’s so far opposite of what this show is about, and what Chris is about, that it’s just not happening for her. I told you 3 months who he picks, so nothing I say at this point will convince anyone who isn’t convinced already, so I guess you’ll just have to wait 13 more days to get your “official” confirmation.
-While in the temple, these two talk to some 183 year old dude who apparently knows things. They get to ask him questions, and since he’s known them for a whole 12 seconds, he can give an answer about their future. Becca asks, “Will he be a good dad one day?” Old dude says yes. I think. Couldn’t understand him but he alluded to it. Chris asked, “What’s her biggest weakness?” Old dude says “Hard to control.” Well certainly not in bed. Chris says they have a big night ahead. Any advice? “Make love.” I mean, is this actor on ABC’s payroll or something? Geez. Stop making it so obvious. How about the ol’ wise one actually tells them the truth, which is, “You two will talk until the wee hours of the morning, he’ll spare you another few days on this journey before unceremoniously dumping you on your butt in freezing Iowa.” Lets be real, oldie. That’s what these people came to you for. Your vast knowledge of all things related to people you have no clue about. Soooooo, yeah. Thanks for being a phony liar. We appreciate it. ABC’s check is in the mail.
-At dinner time, all we get is voiceovers of Becca telling us how nervous she is about the overnight dates because, you know, she’s a virgin and all. And if you’re a virgin, and there’s a date card which suggests later on that night when the cameras and mic packs are off, that you need to take off your clothes and do dirty things, well, that makes Becca nervous. So the date card arrives. “Chris and Becca, welcome to the beautiful island of Bali. I hope you’re enjoying your stay. If you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay together as a couple in our fantasy suite. We’ve provided an extra strength chastity belt and any booby traps you may want to place down there Becca in case Chris tries to get frisky with you. Signed, Chris Harrison (aka, the dude who’ll be logging some closet time while you two are heavy petting). Becca’s response: “I would love to spend time with you alone.” Chris: “This is a big week…big deal…big day for us.” At this moment, I wish they would’ve just used a cut in of a balloon being inflated with air. Would’ve been the most appropriate visual to go along with Chris’ reaction to Becca saying she’d love to spend time with him alone.”
-So once they’re inside the fantasy suite, Becca decides to THEN tell Chris she’s saving herself for marriage. “I know I shared about never having been in love before or taken anyone home to meet my family…I need you to be very honest with your feelings about it…it’s a very big deal…but I’m a virgin.” At this point, it would’ve then been most appropriate to show that balloon with the air being spilled out of it. Regardless of if Chris really wasn’t surprised by her admission or not, he’s got an attractive girl alone in an overnight date and now he finds out he’ll basically get to second base if he’s lucky. Maybe. Possibly. We don’t know with her. She doesn’t strike me as someone who will go do everything BUT. Not quite. But Chris has to think on the spot and he comes up with this: “I’m glad that you…not very easy to respond to…respect that in a lot of ways…surprised me some…says a lot about who you are…trying to figure out if this is gonna work.” Translation: “DAMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNN IT!!!!!!!!”
-From this point until the show ended, the show preyed on the unspoiled and their whole goal was to make you think that Becca was going home. Chris waking up the next morning saying that his date with all three girls went great, but Becca had reservations about her feelings for him (didn’t tell him she loved him) and also wasn’t 100% sold on Iowa, yeah, they were really driving it home to people who have been living under a rock for 3 months that Becca’s lack of experience in dating would ultimately be the end of her by the end of the episode. They show Chris sitting at the edge of the pool with his feet dangling in the water “struggling” with his decision, which if you read either of the Chris’ blogs this morning on page 1, he never really struggled with at all. He always knew he was sending Kaitlyn home. They just needed to drum up something dramatic to kill the next 45 minutes. Yes, that’s right. Becca’s overnight date ended 1 hr and 15 minutes into the show, so we still had another 45 minutes left and all that needed to be done was for Chris to have his fireside chat with Host Chris and a rose ceremony where 2 roses were given away. I think this was the point where Olivia started to doze off, and really, can you blame her?
-During his talk with Host Chris, Chris says he’s conflicted when in reality, according to Host Chris, he was just looking for confirmation from Becca and he didn’t necessarily get it the night before since, well, his penis didn’t go anywhere. He sees himself spending a life with all three, but Becca isn’t there yet, so he’s hedging. Or for the sake of the show, creating a storyline that really isn’t there. With that said, both Chris’ leave their talk and go to the dressing room so they can put on their sarongs, or kimono’s or whatever that ridiculous garb was that everyone had to wear to the rose ceremony because it was in, you guessed it, another “sacred temple” where they had to respect the wishes of the locals. I have a request. NO MORE F***ING TEMPLES. They are lame, they are outdated, they don’t translate to American custom, and they make people look like they’re about to enter a karate tournament or take my order at Benihana’s. For the “Bachelor?” No. Lets get rid of them please. Never go back to Bali and this will be a much better show.
-Rose ceremony time. Chris begins to talk to the women after advancing to the semifinals off a couple sweet roundhouse kicks. “Ladies…you all look beautiful as usual…I’ll have the Benihana Trio with fried rice please…lucky to be able to be here…week was great…most heart wrenching position I’ve ever been in…decision about to make is nothing but excruciating…Becca, can I speak to you for a second?…we still have 20 minutes left in the show and we need to drag this out a little longer…”
-They show Chris and Becca talking about stuff from their overnight date, neither could stop thinking of the other one, but Becca didn’t want to possibly leave without getting it off her chest that she is all in on Arlington (even though she obviously isn’t), and that she wants him to know everything’s all good with her. I guess this is what Chris needed to hear, or what producers needed to fill an extra 10 minutes. I guess it also could’ve been used as a way to build Kaitlyn for the “Bachelorette” since the second he pulled Becca away, Kaitlyn got a grin on her face thinking Becca was gonzo. When Chris returned with Becca, Kaitlyn’s face turned to shock and she released an “Oh shoot!” So yeah, it builds her heartbreak for possibly next season. I mean, can’t you all see the promos now, “She was blindsided when Bachelor Chris sent her home. Now she’s back looking for love…” I mean, really no different than any of the last 13 storylines they’ve used for recycled contestants, but yeah, it’s looking more and more like it could be Kaitlyn. I’m sorry Britt. I did my best all season but alas, it may all be for naught. I won’t technically wave the white flag until it’s “official,” but what I didn’t see back in January I’m beginning to see now.
-Chris returns to the rose ceremony much to the dismay of Kaitlyn. “Ladies…I apologize for the wait…I needed to collect my thoughts…and give production more footage to kill 2 hours…hope you understand you’re all a pawn in this game of reality TV…I just do what I’m told, that’s all…”
Whitney: I think this is the third consecutive rose ceremony Whitney has gotten the first rose. That and $5 will get you a cup of coffee from Starbucks, but I just wanted to point it out.
Becca: Thank you for drawing that out an extra 30 minutes for us only to tell us in your blog this morning you knew what your decision was that day. Appreciate it.
-Not sure why he had to whisper everything to Kaitlyn when he dumped her. Oh yeah I do. F***ING TEMPLES. “Excruciating week…no idea it’d be this hard…moment in my life where I have to make a decision makes no sense (yeah neither did that sentence)…no absolute right decisions…following my heart…think the absolute world of you…there’s no right decision…” So yeah, basically what most have said when they let the final 3 girl go. Kaitlyn was so rattled by his decision that she struggled putting her seatbelt on in the car. Have we ever seen that before? “Most humiliating moment of my freakin’ life…really confused with how I feel right now…really blows my mind…whole reason of putting my guard up was to deflect the feeling I feel right now…” So the girl who put her guard up only to have it torn down gets a second chance at love. Yeah, this is becoming clearer and clearer. Britt, looks like you’ll be stuck making bad indie short films and being a Hollywood waitress a little while longer.
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