Once the cocktail party starts, I told you the joke Kaitlyn tells right off the bat with Britt’s reaction to it. That was in Wednesday’s post so check it out if you miss it. This whole first night centered around who the guys liked better and who they’d choose, and Ryan’s drunkenness. Basically, just something different to do on the first night since episode 1 is pretty much the same every season. This time with two women, all the cocktail party talk surrounded, “Who are you gonna vote for?” Some guys were very straightforward and you know exactly who they were set on, some were on the fence, some had someone in mind then changed it later, but honestly, the who voted for who thing got played out after a while. Once Tuesday’s episode rolls around and the season actually begins, I really don’t see guys who didn’t choose Kaitlyn as being a big deal. It’s not gonna matter. The show only has 4 to 6 real candidates every season anyway, so who cares if guy #18 didn’t vote for Kaitlyn? Irrelevant. He wasn’t long for the show anyway.
-Inside the cocktail party, Ian is the first person to pull someone away and he gets Kaitlyn. Tells her he wanted her to be the “Bachelorette.” They don’t show much else of the conversation but clearly just to let everyone know Ian wants Kaitlyn.
-Justin tells Britt he has a 4 yr old son, Aurelius. They talk about kids.
-Kaitlyn tells Corey she remembered the guy with the volleyball and loves his dimples. Corey gets a hard on. Or something like that.
-Ryan B. has a knock knock joke of his own for Britt.
Ryan B.: “Knock, knock.”
Britt: “Who’s there?”
Ryan B.: “Interrupting cow.”
Ryan B.: “Mooooooooooooo!!!!”
Seriously? Can we please stop it with the f***ing knock knock jokes? Are we 6?
-Ben H. tells Britt that he has sponsored a child like her. He’s had one for 13 years and they’re about to be 18. They both connect on this level and seem into each other.
-Shawn B. is falling in love. “I believe in love at first sight & I actually think it might’ve happened tonight when I saw Kaitlyn out of the limo.” Easy there, bud. Lay off the hyperbole. You don’t even know what she’s like in bed.
-Tony talks to Britt about all his weirdness. Something about that talking to her brings a calming feeling or some Zen BS. Britt never calls him out for saying the same thing to Kaitlyn he said to her out of the limo. Tony says that he initially came on the show for Kaitlyn, but after talking to Britt, he’d changed his mind and decided he will choose Britt.
-Clint sits down with Kaitlyn and says he drew her a picture. He didn’t know who the “Bachelorette” was gonna be so he hopes she likes it. It was a picture of Chris Harrison riding a triceratops. Ummmm, ok.
-Chris Harrison enters the room and says the voting box is open. Guys can go in there and vote at any time. You place a rose in the ballot box for the one girl you have feelings for. Tony is the first one to step up and immediately went to the voting booth to vote for Britt. “The energy coming from the chest with Britt’s name on it was pulsating.” Tony, you’re a freakin’ whack job. He puts a rose in Britt’s box. And yes, inserting things into boxes for this vote makes me giggle.
-Both girls start basically making last ditch pitches to guys they haven’t spoken to or whatever. Kaitlyn talks to Joe and likes him. I believe he said “Yes ma’am” at some point.
-Jared is going back and forth on who to vote for. Said he didn’t make up his mind til he got in the voting room. They showed him voting, but the camera angle made it so you couldn’t tell which box he was playing with. I’m sorry. I just can’t help myself.
-Ben H. asks Kaitlyn about her “bird tattoos” on the back of both her elbows. She likes that he was the only one to ask. She said doves are the only bird that remembers how to fly home and family is very important to her. She always flys home and will always value where she came from. We see Ben H. in the voting booth after that talk voting for Kaitlyn.
-JJ talks to Britt and says he came in with preconceived notions. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever spoken to.” He’s blown away by her. We never see his vote.
-It’s McDill time. Shawn E. pulls him outside to ask him why he disrespected his entrance when “I don’t even know who you are.” Drunk McDill’s retort? “Who are you? You do suck by the way. Everything about you.” The promo makes it seem like these two almost come to blows. They don’t.
-Ryan then pulls Britt outside. JJ comes up and says, “The bar said they have another drink for you.” Ryan pleads for 5 more minutes, JJ walks away, Jonathan comes in to save her. Next scene is Ryan now talking to Kaitlyn telling her how good she looks. He runs his hand down her side then kinda gave a quick slap on her ass saying “Very Ryan approved.” Ben Z. then pulls Ryan aside to say that wasn’t cool, and Ryan says “don’t ever f***ing talk to me again.”
-At this point, Ryan strips down into his speedo and goes in the pool while the other guys watch in amazement. We see him with drink in hand fall down by the pool, then walk into the voting booth knocking the giant picture of Kaitlyn down, then while standing at the boxes choosing who to vote for with rose in hand, he starts talking to both Kaitlyn and Britt’s picture on the wall before chucking the rose across the room. Ummmm, I have no idea who Ryan voted for and that was pretty comical. He’s a freaking disaster at this point. My words don’t even do it justice. Just wait.
-Then out in the hallway, we see Ryan putting his shirt back on when JJ confronts him. This happened:
JJ: “Why are you taking your shirt off?”
Ryan: “Why am I not raping you right now?”
So there’s that.
-Security guy in the hat comes into the room a little bit later and says to Ryan, “Chris Harrison would like to speak with you.” Ryan’s response: “Chris Hansen wants to speak with me.” Awesome. Chris meets him outside, says he’s not here for the right reasons, and they’re gonna send him home. Ryan says, “Is that it?” and then gets into the van. Well, it was fun while it lasted Ryan. It’s been real. Thanks for the entertainment.
-Tanner is sitting with Britt telling her he watched last season and that’s when Britt chimes in with him giving her the tissues. She thinks it was kind of a shot at her for being emotional. Tanner: “That didn’t go over well.” We see him in the next scene in a group of guys saying, “I like Kaitlyn.” Ha ha. Yeah, but if Britt loved your little tissue joke, I’m sure you would’ve liked her.
-Kaitlyn sitting with Shawn B. who tells her his niece and nephew mean the world to him. Luke and Isla. He gives her a picture that his nephew drew of her and it was basically what you’d expect from a kid. Stick figure of a girl. Kaitlyn says in an ITM: “This is the closest I’ve felt to love at first sight.”
-Britt sits with Brady and he tells her his life story. You can see these two vibing and it’s obvious she likes him. Makes sense now as to why they’re still together.
-Then they show a few guys in the voting booth placing their roses in boxes. So the overall tally of votes we actually see take place in the voting booth:
Kaitlyn: Ian, Ben H., Chris, Corey, and Ben Z.
Britt: Tony, Jonathan, Kupah, Josh
We see a short clip of Chris Harrison opening up each box and pulling out roses but only one or two. So when Tuesday’s episode starts, I highly doubt he’s gonna say what the results of the voting were. But we know it’s Kaitlyn and we’ll see her cocktail party and first rose ceremony on the 1 hr. Tuesday night show.
There you go. Everything you need to know about Monday’s 2 hr. premiere. I will be back on Monday with your episode-by-episode spoilers to the season. Glad I can finally post these for you since I’ve been sitting on them since last Thursday. Just wanted to dot my I’s and cross my T’s before posting and I’ve done it. Ready to release it all come Monday, so enjoy your weekend, and look forward to that. See ya’ then.
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