Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” & Live Video Chat Tonight at 9:00pm EST/6:00pm PST

So because I’m out of town, things always seem to be screwy with my computer, and saving emails and what not. Not to mention it takes me even longer to type, so I shortened the emails today. Granted, there’s still over 40 of them, but there are about 20 sent since yesterday morning that I never got around to putting in today’s column. No worries, just means next week’s “Reader Emails” will be even bigger since we already have 20 to start with. Also, “Dr. Reality Steve” has been added today as well. Tonight will be another live video chat at 9:00pm EST/6:00pm PST, and now we can finally begin discussing in a little more detail what happens on BIP 2 since you have all your spoilers now. It’s yesterday’s column, or you can go to the navigation bar at the top of the page, click “Spoilers,” then “Bachelor in Paradise 2,” and whaddya’ know? It’s right there. It’s one thing to know what happens, but considering we’re gonna get 3 hours of it every week, you know there’s gonna be a sh** ton of drama that you’ll tune in for. Even though of the 3 remaining couples at the end, only one of them (Tanner and Jade) got engaged and are ones people can identify with since they’re most recent, still should be interesting. I mean lets face it, is anyone fired up over the Justin/Cassandra coupling or even Nick/Samantha? If they make it, great. But I think fans tuning in to this show won’t be as excited for them as they are for Tanner & Jade, regardless of if they last. The hopeless romantics get their “love story” at the end so that makes them all giddy.

Didn’t have Kaitlyn’s blog for up yesterday due to it being an all BIP 2 column, so check that out if you want. Went into detail on a few of the relationships. Nothing too earth shattering but she’s definitely a little more vocal in her blogs this season than previous leads.

Now, onto your “Reader Emails”…


Insert RS praise…another UNreal fan here – I binged watched about 5min after you posted the links. I knew bachelor/ette was highly edited and unreal but the show unreal just brought about a whole new level that is pretty unbelievable in the “do u people have a conscious ” sense but I can totally believe that yes this is what happens when producing reality ty

Just a bunch of questions today not really having anything to do with this week’s episode as I’m sure enough people will talk about it:

1. Has a lead (or any contestant) ever given you information during their season? I’m assuming you’ll plead the 5th on who if anyone did. Best way to answer this is I don’t talk about who gives me information. If I said no, it’s not like you’d believe me anyway because you’ll say, “What’s he gonna say?” So lets just leave it at I get plenty of information from plenty of people that have nothing to do with the show.

2. You were very pro Brit last year, but it doesn’t seem like you have a fav for next bachelor (prob bc ur a dude lol). I know you say it doesn’t matter who is cast, but who is your vote for? Would they cast ben z? Ben Z. is not going to be the “Bachelor.” Ben H. is definitely a front runner now from what I’m hearing.

3. At what point do they have figured who is going on the 1-1 dates? meaning do the producers decide by the end of the first week who is going? Or can the lead actually have influence during the season – like how Aimes was put on a 1-1 because he was going home, but then Ali (?) decided to keep him..? The lead tells the producers in the beginning which guys they know they like, and then for the most part producers choose who will go on what dates and in what order.

And some non-bachelor questions..

-Do you think shows like SYTYCD, AGT, etc…are edited to the degree bachelor/ette is? Very highly edited, but probably less producer manipulation.

The voice – do you like it better than American idol and/or x-factor? I’ve only watched one full season of The Voice. I’ll always like Idol better. I wanted to like X Factor, but it was just too over-the-top for me.

DWTS – were U happy with the winner? Which format do u prefer ( strictly ballroom or do u like the additions of contemporary & hip hop)? Fav professional on the show? Kinda figured Rumer would win being the favorite from the get go. I like the later seasons of the show. After 20 seasons you have to do something to evolve, and they have. I’m all for it.

If u watch SYTYCD/AGT… any standouts you’re looking forward to watching? I don’t watch SYTYCD. Never have. And there are so many acts on AGT right now, I can’t remember who is who. Once we’re down to the live shows and like 48 people I’ll have a better idea.

Lastly I’m sad when they ended 24 the first time…never was a better show and never will be either…they can bring it back, but it’s not the same. I couldn’t even get into the season last year. I’ll still watch whatever season they choose to go with, but if they really decide to do a season without Kiefer, it will definitely be strange.

And ps Id love if unreal created a character based on you! Maybe next week’s poll question? Thanks for all U do!

Joyous in jersey (corny but the best I could do)

Hey Steve. First time emailing you, although I love reading your “reader email” section and rack up a ton of questions myself.

1) You probably don’t “like” either, but if YOU had to choose who would be the next bachelor, would you pick Josh or Ben H, and why? It honestly doesn’t matter to me. As long as there’s a season, that’s all I care about.

I notice Josh is rooting for himself, I can tell by his twitter

2) If Josh was chosen, what do you think Andi would do/think about it? I’m guessing she wouldn’t be a fan of it.

What if they tried to get her to go “win him back” before the end of the season (like Dianna with Jason) ? That would make for good ratings. Andi would never do that.

3) Now that Brady and Britt are done, do you think this is the last we see of Britt (besides more updates of them throughout the season)? Do you know if she will be on ATFR ? Or in the future have a chance at being the sole bachelorette (I mean, I feel like Josh was a few seasons old, why wouldn’t they want to give Britt her chance later on if they didn’t have any better choice with future female contestants) I feel that one, or both, will appear on the MTA or ATFR to address their breakup. There’s already some tabloid reporting that she’s the front runner for next “Bachelorette.” Not true.

4) In your opinion, with everything you know, do you think Kaitlyn and Shawn’s engagement will last? You definitely called Chris and Whitney’s and I was hoping you were wrong (although I’m not a fan of Kaitlyn and her season at all, so I don’t really care. Just wanted your opinion) No.

5) Do you think Kaitlyn will go down as the most hated bachelor/ette (next to JP)? Most hated? No. Most controversial? Yes. She did things this season that we just haven’t seen before.

6) Do you think Andi is just pretending to like Kaitlyn? Saw them on snap chat together recently. There’s no way she’s ok with the nick thing. Very hard to judge based off a few snaps. Who knows with these people?

Last one

7) IF Shawn and Kaitlyn don’t work out, what are the chances they will bring him back as the bachelor (like they’re thinking of doing with Josh now)

Comment: They’d have to break up awfully quick for that to happen. Even if they did, I don’t see him turning around and jumping right in to be the “Bachelor.”

Hi Steve!

Love your site, read it everyday!

I was just wondering, do you know why Kaitlyn’s family doesn’t meet the final two this year? I know it probably has something to do with the way the new hometowns work, but I still find it very odd that she says she’s so close to her family but yet they won’t meet the guys before they propose. Thoughts?

Comment: I’m sure they do. I just don’t know when. For 30 seasons the lead’s family meets the final two. I can’t imagine why Kaitlyn’s wouldn’t. Especially since we know she’s engaged. I’m guessing Shawn would want to ask for their blessing. Chris did. To BOTH of her dad’s.

Hey Steve,

Quick question about endings being spoiled via video. You said after Andi’s season was spoiled by a video someone sent you of Nick that you would never get something like this again, and it (accidentally) happened again! Do you think the producers will be stricter with the lead and their choice as far as phones in the safe houses in the future? Hard to speculate but pretty funny that two videos have surfaced regarding the ending. Thanks!

Comment: Yeah, difference was Kaitlyn’s was public and everyone saw it. The Nick video was sent directly to me. That’s what I meant when I said I’ll never get anything like that again. But as far as the lead, or contestants involved, blowing their cover on social media – it’s happened before and I’m sure it’ll happen again. These people are under a microscope once they get back from filming and I don’t think some realize that. That will ultimately lead to them being careless at some point.

i was shocked when i read that you said Michelle and cody are back together. i didnt believe it at first but i followed Michelle on snapchat and it definitely looks like they are. how long have they been together and how long do you think it’ll be before they break up again? or could they have a chance of actually marrying?

Comment: I think it’s been a few weeks, but yes, they’re back together. I don’t think he’s fully moved back to Utah yet, but I’m assuming that’s the plan.

Hi Steve!

I admit that I have been watching this season only because I heard about the San Antonio episode, and since I live in SA, I wanted to see how they portrayed the city and state. I was very proud that they didn’t make us look like cowboys, rednecks and hicks, like many TV shows do. I was happy the way they portrayed the city’s culture without making it look cheesy. Granted we don’t all mariachi every day, but San Antonio has a unique culture that I was happy was portrayed well on TV.

I too was pretty embarrassed when Chris Harrison mentioned that the Alamo was special because we were in his home state. I feel like all of Texas agreed to forget he was from here since he is such a disappointment to our state.

Since you have gotten me hooked on UnReal, I have a question for you about the show. I guess I have never really thought about producers talking to each other via head sets, but it makes sense. So when the producers are in different locations, are they still all talking to each other? For example, when Katilyn and Nick were in her suite behind closed doors, were the producers in her room able to talk to the producers with the guys and tell them what was happening? Or are things told to the crew after the fact and they just get sound bites and clips and edit them together? Most, if not all, of the main producers have earpieces and are talking to each other letting others know what’s going on.

Another question about reality TV. I know that winning the Bachelor/ette doesn’t really matter- I mean you win “love”, fame and TV appearances, but no money (at least not officially). So I want to know about the inner workings of reality TV shows that you DO win money on. For example, The Amazing Race. Is it rigged? Do the producers manipulate situations so that teams get eliminated? Do you have any insight into that? I don’t watch Amazing Race so I don’t know, but prize money shows aren’t supposed to be rigged because it’s a competition for money, but there can be things done and said to persuade people to do or say things that might help/hurt their chances.

Thank you for the info. That is what I enjoy about your site. The spoilers are nice, but it’s fun to see the inner workings of reality TV. How things are edited and manipulated all for the sake of “good TV”.

Thanks! Hope you have a good day!

Hey Steve ,

Can you elaborate on the incentives/ mandates that exist in the lead’s contract, as well as the contestants’ contracts, with regards to making/accepting a proposal? I know that producers encourage it, and the idea of an all-expenses-paid wedding/honeymoon/advertising from the wedding is incentive enough for most of these people , but is there a fine (or something along those lines) if the Bachelorette accepts nobody’s proposal ? Does she have to say yes to somebody ? Anything in the contract about the Bachelor having to propose (especially since JP’s season)? Thanks!

Comment: If there is a proposal, the lead has to accept. This season there were two, but as long as one of them is a yes, it’s fine.

Hey Steve,

Am I missing something or has there really been no deleted scenes for the bachelorette this season?

Comment: Actually there have been a few, I’ve just forgotten to post them. I posted the two comedy club ones earlier this season but I just keep forgetting to go back and post. Here are all the deleted scenes from this season:

apologies if this has been asked and answered. Mock as necessary

The footage of a naked guy running off, presumably Nick after sex, shown in previews, what was that?

Comment: Just something that was shown in the season previews that will never make air. Happens every season on every show. I have no idea who it was or what context it was.

O.k., this is a “surface-level” question…..(comment?)…………yes, a Tony reference…………….but what is the deal with Kaitlyn’s hair?? Who are they paying to do it this season? Pinning one piece behind your left ear every day ain’t no hairdo. I don’t know why, but it drives me crazy. Who told her this looks good?

That’s it. Keep up the excellent work. Love your website!!

Comment: You mean that doesn’t turn you on? Can’t imagine why not.

(Subject): Really Anal UnREAL Show Question

Hi Steve, I love your column and am a faithful reader. I’ve watched every Bachelor/Bachelorette since day 1 and love your spoilers and the way you write! I am now hooked on UnReal and can’t get enough of it. I searched the internet for an answer to this question and couldn’t find it anywhere and I didn’t think anyone at Lifetime would ever get back to me if I emailed them. I know you have connections with them, so I thought I’d ask you and see if you could find out. I would love to know the name of the computer font that was used on the group date card to the Napa vineyard from the 6-22 episode (I told you it was anal!). I am one of those OCD people who loves using different fonts for emails and greeting cards, etc., and loved this one when I saw it. I know if there’s anyone out there who can find out it would be you. I appreciate it! Thanks so much for your website and for keeping us so informed every week!

Comment: Ummmm yeah, you’re right. That was anal. I wouldn’t have the slightest clue on how to find that out. Sorry.

Hi Steve!

Love reading your blog. I read it all the time.

I’m just wondering why more people aren’t commenting on the fact that Nick was the one Bachelorette cast member who said publicly on ATFR that he and Andi had had sex in the Fantasy Suites. I would think that he would get more backlash after this past week’s episode than Kaitlyn because he’s the one sleeping with more than one Bachelorette and both events have been very public.

The only mention of this I saw was that Twitter exchange between himself and Andi, and People did a brief article on it. But otherwise, this seems to have slipped peoples’ minds. I remember audibly gasping when he said it on ATFR because the unspoken rule is what happens in the Fantasy Suites, stays in the Fantasy Suites. Do you think his comment on ATFR was why he and Kaitlyn ended up with the edit they got?

Thanks! Peace and love.

Comment: Impossible to say for sure that’s why, but his actions this season with Kaitlyn completely make himself look like a hypocrite for what he said on the ATFR last season. Sex is “fiancé type stuff,” and now he goes and bangs Kaitlyn on their first date? Oh ok.

Hi Steve,

I just watched the Chris S. video you just posted. Chris’ response when asked if he was “really engaged to Whitney” was very lame and very telling. He said “technically yes, there was a ring.” That doesn’t even show a hint of an attempt to make it seem remotely real, unlike some of the other leads with dissolved engagements. You gotta at least try for Whitney’s sake.

Chris also threw Nick under the bus– apparently he’s after the limelight, but he himself is going after all these TV gigs. What gives? Well that’s why I say every season that the engagement at the end of the show means nothing. It’s done because they have a television show to produce. If any of these couples had their way, none of them would propose. But the show wants them to and they do. Doesn’t mean anything.

As for him saying Nick loves the limelight, well, he’s right about that. So does Chris. So do 95% of the people that do this show.

On another note, this season seems very different from previous seasons. There hasn’t been a “scary” date so far, and there’s a lot less talk about fairy tales, love, romance, etc. and far more drama than in previous seasons. It seems that things are more adapted to the Bachelorette’s personality than in the past. Does Kaitlyn have any more leverage than previous female leads, and if so, why?

Comment: No.

So why would Kaitlyn have bird tattoos if she’s petrified of birds? Yes I know she said that crap about always going home and those birds always go home………. She said she’s afraid of the flapping. And tattoos don’t flap. Makes sense.

Did anyone else notice those horrendous wood beaded bracelets Nick had on? I think he was wearing about 7-8 bracelets. Urgh.

The guys definitely got brown cowboy boots in their swag bags this season. Most of them had them on at the Alamo rose ceremony.

Comment: I didn’t even notice. I was too busy looking for the basement.

Dear reality steve,

I was not shocked at all to hear that Britt and Brady called it quits. From the beginning, it was obvious that she would have never dated him in real life (without cameras and attention). Are they going to keep showing us these stupid 60 second clips of them at the end of the show? Do you think they will bring Britt on the ATFR to “officially” announce their split? I was surprised to hear that they wanted her in paradise and she did not go. I’m sure one or both will appear on one of the two shows, whether it’s the MTA or ATFR.

One random question for you. It was always obvious that Jef Holm loved all of the attention he got from the show and used it to get girls and followers on social media. Now he hardly ever posts to social media and seems to have distanced himself completely from this franchise. Are you surprised by that? It seemed so out of character. Do you know why he did that?

Comment: No idea really.

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  1. rob22

    July 2, 2015 at 12:00 PM

    To the 14 year old girl: OK, I have teenagers. Teenagers have a million ideas and fantasize about careers and making money. They usually hate school. So, a parents job is to keep them focused on school and not looking 5-10 years ahead, because the lack of focus on school now ultimately impacts the future opportunities 5-10 years from now. Basically a 14 year old needs to focus on today, and then tomorrow.

    If your parents were smart, however, they’d try to tie what you’re doing today to your dream. Math and angles are likely important in some way to fashion & for sure Math is important if you end up doing your own business. It’s awful tough to balance a budget & project income if you don’t know Math.

    Another thing they they could do is focus on the fact that Fashion School can’t happen until after High School (at least), and so getting through High School (and if you’re 14, you may not even yet be in High School) is the pre-req to Fashion School. Lots of opportunities will be unavailable if you don’t finish High School. And, to be 100% real with you, these days there aren’t a lot of opportunities for people without a college degree either. And having a degree would assure a Plan B if fashion doesn’t work out. One thing at a time. In short, you won’t die if your fashion career is postponed a few years to get through High School and College. It’s really the best plan. I’m not sure an 18 year old, just out of High School, would have a real shot at a fashion career. Even if you have talent, it might be tough to find anyone to give you a chance. BTW: their are college programs out there that can be oriented towards your interests in fashion. But you have to take the time to find out which ones would be best for you. So many teens have these ideas but don’t take the time to build their education and resume around those ideas. Your parents should help you, but it’s somewhat understandable that they haven’t done it yet. At most you’re a Freshman in HS, and possibly still in Middle School. There’s time.

    As for the teachers & administrators being mean to you, I have no ability to judge how much of this is true vs. how much of this is teen drama. But if the school is really that bad, what are your alternatives? There are other schools out there that could be perfectly acceptable. It’s not uncommon for teens to approach their parents with an alternative suggestion on where they’d like to go to school. I’d start there and focus on that. The other stuff is still 3-4 years down the road.

  2. rob22

    July 2, 2015 at 12:20 PM

    As for the FWB person. While theoretically having a FWB relieves a person from boredom & seems to not have much of a downside, here’s how that plays out. Some of the problem is that it does prevent you from moving forward and finding a really good relationship. You find your comfort spot, chill out, and time just flies by (tick, tock) Oops, now you’re 30 years old with no prospects. And now you’re 40. The next thing you know, you’ve wasted six months, a year, two years. Eventually the guy will start contacting you less and less. Why? Because he found something better. Someone that he CAN see himself with long term. That might get dragged out for weeks or months before the Come to Jesus happens.

    In the end, you waste time, aren’t fully open to and don’t have the fully satisfying relationship you want…. and the dumping still ends up hurting. It’s a lose/lose. There is no possible win. Orgasms last 3-5 seconds. You have to ask if that’s worth the cost. (BTW: that’s always a great question to ask yourself whenever you’re thinking about choosing some short term sexual option vs. some serious long term consequences). As in, is it worth the 3-5 seconds of pleasure to lose your spouse and full access to your kids? Is it worth the 3-5 seconds to cost yourself several months, or years, of not having the relationship you really want? Time is limited. Don’t waste it. It’s like the Pink Floyd song “Time”:

    “Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain. You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.”

  3. angelfish

    July 2, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    And to pile on the 14 year-old, there is no fashion without math. Algebraic and geometric equations, ratios, proportions, lines, points, scales and a host of other mathematical concepts are essential knowledge for pattern-making and the construction of garments. “Project Runway” makes it look much easier than real life.

  4. elemenope

    July 2, 2015 at 5:42 PM

    To the 14-year-old want to be a fashion designer.
    Do you actually know what a fashion designer does? Do you know how many incredibly talented people want to be fashion designers… People with money and connections. It must be one of the hardest industries to break into.
    I know 5 girls from my high school wanted to go into fashion design. One was incredible talented and had won national awards. 10 years later…not one broke into the industry. that’s life.
    Your parents are being practical… Too many teenagers think they are these special snowflakes and will have amazing careers. to be honest you probably won’t. But you may have a good career and a great life go to university and get a real job

  5. elemenope

    July 2, 2015 at 5:45 PM

    I’m sorry if that sounded a little harsh but you need to hear it. Also high school sucks… Real life is so much better! Just get through it and I promise you things will get better. You’ve had a tough time but it won’t be forever.

  6. purplerayne

    July 2, 2015 at 5:47 PM

    I took Nick’s “fiancee type stuff” comment to mean the sex was a lot kinkier than normal/typical sex. There are a few things that could’ve happened that wouldve made it “more” intimate. Just makes me like Andi more 🙂 lol She knows how to get it done in the bedroom. Props, girl.

  7. angelsfeet

    July 2, 2015 at 7:35 PM

    Yes, elemenope – that did sound harsh. Maybe she WILL be the next big thing in fashion. You always have to go for it. Besides, no matter what, eduction in something you are passionate about will always take you to good places. To the girl herself… better things might be right around the corner for you, try to hang tough. If you meet your parents on a thing or two, you might find they become super accommodating.

  8. purplerayne

    July 2, 2015 at 10:02 PM

    To the 14 yr old: I do hope you find someone to talk to. Like Steve mentioned, you should probably go to your High School counselor for at least a few sessions.A HS student I mentor went through some traumatic stuff and couldnt adjust when she returned to school. So dont beat yourself up for not being able to “fit in” or being understood. And your friends might seem unsupportive, but they arent equipped to handle a sensitive situation like this. Cut them some slack, ie dont hold it against them. Same with your parents. They love you and just because they arent reacting in the way you want, it doesnt mean they dont care. BTW You might think math has no use to you, but what if in a few years you want to study interior design or architecture, instead of fashion? You’ll need math skills! Stick with school, embrace math, and just remember, it gets easier 🙂

  9. rob22

    July 3, 2015 at 10:25 AM

    Right, don’t blow off your dream at 14. Want to be a fashion designer? Then move forward with your schooling in that direction. Build knowledge, do an internship, set yourself up for success. Success that will be 10-15 years, or more, down the road. You need a plan, one that should start off slowly and be designed to find out if this is truly what you want. You won’t find out without building knowledge, through High School and a well thought out college and other programs, and eventually getting exposure, perhaps as an intern, down the road. Go for it! Just don’t expect that things will fall into your lap. Odds are, you will experience a lot of difficulties and setbacks before succeeding. You have to really want it and be willing to do everything necessary. There are no short cuts, and trying to enter the field at 14 is a complete short cut.

  10. findthescoop2

    July 3, 2015 at 2:34 PM

    Chris Soules and Witney Carson has reunited. I cant get over this couple. They do have a relationship, however, he didn’t try to work on a relationship with Whitney Bischoff. It’s clear that he rather be with Witney Carson. I cant blame Whitney for leaving having to watch Chris build up a relationship with someone else other than his fiancée. the other dwts partners have moved on, why are we still seeing Chris and Witney. I say “hiding a relationship in plain sight”

  11. findthescoop2

    July 3, 2015 at 2:36 PM

    of course we know about the charity appearances. Is that just another excuse for being together because they like to be with each other? Oh yes, she has a boyfriend, but what difference it that making? I don’t see any difference.

  12. cjscjs711

    July 3, 2015 at 3:59 PM

    To 14-year old girl. Do not give up on your dream. At same time, don’t get ahead of yourself. More than one reason – useful – to learn English, geometry, Shakespeare. One is at young age everyone knows young people do not know for sure what they want or will be doing the rest of their lives. So you get general college prep so when you graduate from high school you can easily go any direction in college.

    Second is, can you handle bulls**t factor. Every job has it. Every job has some ‘scut work’ to be done. Can you handle it? School is your first testing ground.

    Have you looked into alternate or charter schools? Perhaps in an art-direction charter you would find more kids similar to you and get along better.

    What school wants to interview a 14 year old for fashion? The fashion, art, music, video, etc. schools are notorious ‘scammers.’ Sued constantly. You will need your parents’ help to sort out a good one. And perhaps a good guidance counselor in a school familiar with art schools.

    Fashion industry is notoriously fickle. Unless you are a Yves St. Laurent, typical is chew you up and spit you out. However, there are many related careers when that happens. If. So I say keep it as a goal; be where you are in the meantime. Time will fly.

  13. jennn

    July 6, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    To whomever was asking about the UnReal Napa Valley Date card —

    The font is called Dear Joe 6 by JOEBOB graphics.

    It’s a commercial font (i.e. you have to pay for it) but has a demo version you can download.

  14. rockyandthor

    July 7, 2015 at 9:44 PM

    Thanks so much to jennn for finding out the name of the font I was looking for! I didn’t think I would find it!

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