Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” 7/8/15

Kind of a slow week in “Bachelor” land, no? Not a whole hell of a lot of stories to report, not much social media activity, etc. I think that’ll change as we head down the home stretch of the season. MTA tapes this weekend, a lot of the BIP 2 cast will be in attendance to promote it, and then after that, once we get down to the final 2 after next week’s episode, we’ll have 2 weeks of “Shawn vs Nick” debate in the media. That’s what they hitched their wagon to all season, and that’s what they’re gonna roll with. By the end of next Monday’s episode, we’ll have them in the final 2, and with the MTA airing July 20th, that means from July 14th – 27th, we have nothing to talk about other than that debate between the final two guys. “Bachelor” talk can’t start until someone is named. They’ve released those at different times in the past. Could be as early as the ATFR on July 27th, and could be as late as week before filming begins in mid September. They’ve never stuck to a set schedule when it comes to that. But I’ll keep you updated if I hear anything. With that said, lets get to your “Reader Emails” this week. Tomorrow is “Dr. Reality Steve” and the live chat tomorrow night. Get your emails in now to make it in tomorrow’s column.

Hi Steve,

I took your advice and watched “Friday Night Lights” back when you first mentioned it. And yes, I thought it was great. I saw you mentioned “Entourage” in your last column and I was wondering what you thought about it. Is it worth watching? Entourage is ok. It’s certainly not Emmy worthy. It’s about as Hollywood as a show as you can get. And it wants to be. Very simple, really never any plot, and tons of cameos from athletes and celebrities. And a bunch of sex references.

And, I’ve been reading your site since Jason’s season. Your incorrect, then corrected, spoiler this season makes no difference to me. I mean, you still spoil 99% of everything else going on. And even so, I’d still read your site if you had zero spoilers. You make me laugh – that’s good enough for me. And honestly, I only watch the show to read your spoilers. It’s all make-believe to me.

Thanks for the entertainment!

Comment: Thanks. I give you what I’m told. Most of the time it’s right. On occasion it’s wrong. But I’ll never blame my sources. It’s on me. But I figure as long as you know everything before it airs, then that’s what you want.

Hi Steve

A few things

1) I live in Australia but my sister lives in the U.S. and tells me the slut shaming that is going on for Kaitlyn is horrendous. Both my sister and I (29 & 31) agree if we where single we would have slept with Nick too. The chemistry was undeniable. I’m pleased you stood up for her. As a feminist I am proud of her unapologetic stance & can admit I watch the show with someone like her as the Bachelorette. Yep. It’s pretty bad. I think some people are coming around and realizing they’re overreacting to her having sex, but still plenty who aren’t. It’s ok. It’s what makes the show what it is. Everyone’s got different opinions.

2) Shawn…really?! I know it sounds a bit cruel but she’s 30, a PT does not earn good money or have good career prospects. I was up several times overnight with my baby. My husband being highly educated with a great job means I don’t work the first year of my sons life and will only go back 2 days a week…probably forever-& that is my choice to go back to work. This was something on my mind when we met when I was 28. Also Shawn isn’t that good looking and he’s whiny. She can do better. How long do you think they will last? I think the chances of them marrying are slim to none. But then I thought that about Des and Chris too! I don’t think they’ll last very long. I just don’t find them as compatible as they seem to think they are. I think once the novelty wears off, they’ll be just like any other couple on this show that breaks up. Just didn’t work outside the show.

3) Nick. I like him. Unlike my husband (who contrary to your views actually got ME into this show! He has a stressful job and reality TV is how he relaxes…& now I love it too!) I understand the hate but I actually think he would be a better match for Kaitlyn. I don’t think either of them are a match for Kaitlyn, honestly. Shawn will realize that soon enough.

4) the next bachelorette…will they chose someone as edgy as Kaitlyn again or go for the boring safe option like Emily? They should probably try to find a happy medium.

Thanks for your work and congrats on turning 40. My husband is planning on going to Vegas for his too!

Sleepy in Sydney

Dear Steve,

I’m curious on how you got started on spoiling the bachelor. I remember stumbling upon your video during Jason’s season. I was stunned. I couldn’t believe he was going to do a switch at the After. I really felt like that was producer driven. I always liked Melissa but always wondered if she knew. Jason’s season I got the spoiler to the ending, I posted it, and the rest is history. Melissa definitely didn’t know what was going to happen when she went to film the ATFR. But she suspected Jason wasn’t over Molly.

Have you ever been a fan of the show? I know you had recently stated in a video chat you wouldn’t watch if it wasn’t your job and had the inside information.

What do you feel the purpose of spoiling Jason’s season steamed from? Was it just for kicks? The purpose? Not sure it really had a purpose. I had info for the first time ever after writing about the show for 6 years, so I shared it.

I know you are very close mouthed about your sources which I respect. I guess I’m just wondering why you were the guy the information got to since it essentially led to your current career. Do you still have that video. I’ve wanted to re-watch it but can’t find it anywhere. I have no ideas where those videos are. I don’t think I posted them to YouTube. Maybe I did. Can’t remember. Why did the info come to me? Because the person that told me knew I wrote about the show, so they just figured it’d help.

When I first watched the show it was definitely for the idea of “romance” which now I realize is not the purpose at all of the show.

Do you think any of the contestants who come on the show anymore actually are there for “love” or is it basically all for exposure at this point? Exposure. 100%.

I think it’s funny that a lot of your readers think you know everything about all the contestants. Have you ever been invited to any of the weddings that have resulted from this show? Did you go? No. Nor would I ever expect to be invited or want to be invited.

I really enjoy your spoilers and insights even though I don’t always agree with your opinion I still like reading what you have to say about the show.

I like Nick and I know you don’t. I obviously only see how he is edited but I’ve been a fan. I never been a fan of Andi. I feel bad that he gets rejected twice and wish Kaitlyn would have not put him through that a second time! Even worse she lets him propose! I liked Shawn up until last night episode. He was a bit annoying. My husband says he looks like Calvin Harris which I agree more so than Ryan Gosling.

Again I know this show is “UNreal” but it is nice when we do see a few happy endings result from it. I thought a year or so ago after I read on your sight that the lead has to pick a front runner early on they should change format of the show. They should allow them to connect with the one and start a normal relationship..sort of like they kind of did with Brit this year. Instead have it on camera but throw in drama or challenges to see if the couple has what it takes to make it work. I don’t know just a thought.

I’m interested to see how rest of season plays out and BIP2 drama. I watch now just to see how crazy they make the season. Anyways I envy what you get to do. I live writing as well!

Keep on spoiling!

Hi Steve!

Did you see it coming with Jeremy and Rachel on Unreal? He really hasn’t been a huge character thus far and they seemed so cold so I was surprised when he attacked her on the hay. I’m with you… I thought Adam and her might have a thing. What did the producer (name?) put in Mary’s pills? I couldn’t tell. I still think there’s gonna be something with Adam and Rachel by the end of the season. Especially after the last 2 episodes. He’s obviously into her. If he only knew she gets off to watching old videos of her and Jeremy.

I think Shia replaced the pills with nothing of substance. Not like a different drug. She just needed to fill it with something so it wouldn’t be ended. The point was to just get rid of what she was taking.

This season of the Bachelorette is so predictable. I just want to know why they make it so obvious who she picks? It’s lame to me. I’m ready for it to be over and move on to BIP. This is my least favorite season of all time …. But of course I still watch 😉 Not everyone thinks it’s predictable. There are plenty of people who don’t read the internet or spoilers who have no clue.

Are you surprised Ben H isn’t getting more air time if he’s going to be the Bachelor? Why do you think they passed over Josh? Monday’s episode and next week’s he’ll get plenty. Then definitely get up on the hot seat at the MTA.

Any word on when filming for men tell all is? This Saturday.

Hi Steve,

I’m wondering if anyone else noticed this or if it’s just me interpreting it differently.

During Shawn and Kaitlyn’s second conversation of the episode, Kaitlyn said something that makes me think that she already knew about the format switch:

“Look, at the final two, if you’re there, I’m going to meet someone else’s family, and it’s gonna be intense.”

I guess you could interpret that as Kaitlyn saying by final two she will have already met another family. But at this point, shouldn’t she be thinking that she’ll be meeting four different families? Why not say final four then? Or hometowns?

When I first watched I actually thought, “Wait did they already tell them they’re switching the format?” just because it seemed like she was so casually talking about it. I actually think they probably all knew about the format switch from the very beginning. It just seems like everything would need to be set in stone pretty far in advance for a production like this, even if Chris Harrison is saying they made changes on the fly…yeah right.

Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I’m curious to hear what you think.

Thanks for all you do!

Comment: It’s possible you’re reading too much into it, but it’s possible you could be right. Bottom line is we don’t know and probably won’t. I have no idea when the decision was made.


I like Sharleen’s blog simple and straightforward sometimes she makes interesting comments too. She brought up the off camera thing, its impossible except to sneak and her thought is that Kaitlyn was caught and the format shake up was a slap on the wrist? Not going anywhere etc and going to overnights as well. What do you think? A few of you have notified me of Sharleen’s blog and I’ve tried to read them every week. Definitely gives a side that you probably don’t think about much. Not to mention, we know she’s hung out with both Kaitlyn and Nick, so you would think that would come across in her writing if you read between the lines. But it’s hard to tell. She doesn’t overly favor one or the other, so she’s been able to keep her blog unbiased, all while offering good opinions having gone through the experience. I recommend it.

It seems the Afterbuzz hosts saw a picture of the Snapchat being retweeted around and they also think the set up scenario. I dont really get Snapchat and but Im assuming its like other social media where you can load stuff from file? What are the chances of that?

Comment: Can’t put it any simpler. It wasn’t a set up. She accidentally sent it out when she wasn’t supposed to and the show is pissed, but there’s nothing they can do at this point.

Reality Steve,

Do you know which overnight dates, if any, will be shown on next week’s episode (July 6th)?

Comment: I guess we have our answer to that one now.

Two comments/observations on Monday’s show.

First, a math problem. If JJ’s daughter is 3 years old, and he admitted to cheating on his wife 3 years ago, determine which is the bigger scumbag move, cheating on a pregnant wife, or cheating on a wife with a newborn? In either case, karma has served up a big helping of You Live In Your Momma’s Basement to JJ. Yeah, never really looked into that, but unless he’s forgetting how many years ago he cheated, it certainly looks like it was right around the time of his daughter’s birth because I highly doubt he forgot his daughter’s age.

Second, and this is assuming we are viewing things in the order they were filmed, did you notice what Kaitlyn said the 2nd time Shawn showed up in her room?

“Look, at the final two, if you’re there, I’m gonna meet somebody else’s family, and it’s gonna be intense…”

That sounds, to me, like she knew she would meet only two families, the final two.

And this was before Chris Harrison showed up to tell her they were changing things around and there would be only two “hometown” dates. So, she already knew, or they showed things out of order, or she is psychic, or she already knew she couldn’t give a flip over anyone other than her final two and was already blocking the others out. It’s possible, but we don’t know for sure.

One final comment. You are an awesome uncle, and Olivia is a lucky young lady. Enjoy the game, enjoy the concert, and thanks for helping make this tv show into the silly game it really is.

Comment: Thanks. I appreciate it. I know my time as cool Uncle will be ending shortly, so just trying to take advantage of it as often as I can. Up next: Taylor Swift concert in August.

Hi Steve,

Question about UnReal. The show said things a few times that implied viewers were watching episodes the same week those events happened as they filmed. This format is obviously different than the Bachelor, which films everything first and then airs a few months later. Is that what they mean when they keep saying “the audience is feeling chemistry, etc.?” Thanks! Love it by the way!

Comment: Yeah, that’s one of the major leaps of faith you have to take when watching that show. When Rachel was telling Faith a couple weeks ago “the audience is really feeling the chemistry with you and Adam,” obviously that wouldn’t happen on the “Bachelor” franchise. Hell, there aren’t many reality shows that are live at all to where that could even be said. Just the live shows for Idol, the Voice, and DWTS really. I’m sure there are others that are on a smaller level, but those are the only major ones.

Hey Steve,

Just finished watching this weeks podcast and I’ve noticed that every week people keep asking if Chris Soules is hooking up with Witney Carson from DWTS. Thought I would let you know that Witney is dating her high school sweetheart Carson McCallister and they have been back together for a while now so she and Chris are not together. I’m sure you know her and Chris aren’t together, but thought you might like to have a name to give people of who Witney Carson is actually dating so maybe people will stop asking you weekly if she’s with Chris.

Comment: Yeah, I noticed that once I read your email and went over to her Instagram. Then again, conspiracy theorists or Chris haters will probably say she’s cheating on Carson with Chris, just like they were automatically assuming Chris was cheating on fiancé Whitney with dance partner Witney.

Hi Steve,

I don’t know if I’m submitting this in the right place, but I’ve been a longtime reader and a fan of your site. I don’t have a question but I do have two comments: 1) I find it funny that Kaitlyn has a huge fear of bird’s yet she has two birds tattooed on the back of her arms 2) Nick kind of looks like Jason Segel…

Comment: 1) Remember, she said that she’s afraid of the flapping, not the birds themselves. Tattoos can’t flap. 2) I don’t see the Jason Segel resemblance at all, but maybe that’s just me.

I think it was planned to be this way from the beginning. They were trying to keep Kaitlyn a secret and of course they wouldn’t want anyone to know Nick was going to show up so if anyone saw them on his hometown it would have spoiled a lot for them. Flying 4 families out for hometowns would be a bit much so it makes sense to me that they weren’t willing to pony up for that. I like it better this way but I would put money on it that it will go back to normal next season.

Comment: If I had to guess, I do think they’d go back to normal next season with 4 hometowns, 3 overnights, final 2, etc. But I don’t think this season was planned in advance in terms of how that was going to go based on what I heard. But I don’t think we’ll ever know for sure.

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  1. Jman123

    July 8, 2015 at 11:57 AM

    On the Nick wedding ring question, I strongly suspect it is the Irish ring that he bought on their date (he bought her one too).

  2. rob22

    July 8, 2015 at 12:06 PM

    So, status quo on the Bachelorette front. Nothing new. But, I am liking UN-Real much more. I thought the suicide was a… dare I say it… shocking twist. I didn’t see that coming. I was pretty sure she’d become unhinged & go postal, but never saw her jumping off a roof. So, it does have me wondering where they go from here. The police will now be involved as well as the media. It seems like the whole things is coming off the rails. But I guess a straight parody show wouldn’t really be that interesting.

    As far as the future of The Bachelorette, obviously this season has been a one off with the slut edit and emphasis on open sex with Nick & all the fall out from that. I never thought they’d go down that road, but it’s an old franchise & the ratings have taken a turn upwards this season. Attitudes are changing and a new generation is in the mix. (Did you know a Millennial can be as old as 33?) It wouldn’t surprise me if future shows were closer to this season’s style than past seasons. I guess we’ll see. Certainly that’s the model you see in most other recent reality shows. The contestants or stars are usually not respected. They’re on TV to be mocked by the masses.

    It is pretty amazing though. A sub-par group of guys and a decidedly plain looking, immature, brain donor & non-career woman becomes the lead & ratings go up. Crazy.

  3. jlyoung

    July 8, 2015 at 3:24 PM

    I have actually liked Kaitlyn through most of the show but hearing that she lets Nick get down on one knee to propose knowing that she isn’t going to accept is disgusting! I understand the show is probably loving that for ratings. I actually see her in a whole new light. At least give the guy proposing the dignity of cutting him off at some point or sending an obvious signal to let him know he doesn’t need to go through that whole production. Some people in the real world actually consider a proposal to be special and something they only want to do once (and yes, I know, not something they do on TV). Like I said, that’s tacky and classless. I gave Kaitlyn too much credit it seems.

  4. vessel

    July 8, 2015 at 5:26 PM

    I don’t get why some of these leads let the producers talk them into allowing their F2 guy to get down on one knee only to yank them back up. Ashley and DeAnna also did that with guys they knew they were rejecting. Anyone remember anyone else doing that? Hmmmm, both those seasons the rejected proposal guy went on to be the Bachelor (Jason and Ben) but I suppose Steve is right that Nick won’t get the gig.

  5. wavecatchingmom

    July 8, 2015 at 9:52 PM

    They probably get some incentive for multiple proposals?? If not the “actors” than the producers so they somehow talk them into it…
    UNreal jumped the shark for me, unfortunately, I loved the episode before and now… cmon, where can they go from here?? A little too over the top, I think Adam is going to find out about Shia and save the day for Rachel, like a real prince, before Kevin can do it…
    Rob22 I fear you are right, but then again, at any time they could make Ben H like Shaun’s season, and maybe cast a hopeless romantic and keep her sheltered like they did Catherine?? Who knows, only time will tell, I think that is why they are moving away from Josh though, no one would think big choppers is really sincere, or any of the girls after big choppers would be….seems like more potential with Ben H to develop the contestants’ story lines. Can’t wait to see Ashley S in Paradise!!!
    This season is yawnworthy now.

  6. brick

    July 9, 2015 at 6:35 AM

    I never bought the snapchat thing being a mistake. Of course Kaitlyn will maintain it was a mistake. Saying it was accidental has gotten her into enough hot water – she’d never have it in her to admit it was done on purpose and face even more wrath and why should she. She well knows no one can prove her intentions. But it goes with other behaviours we’ve seen of hers both in this season and in Chris’ season. She’s not “edgy” as some have claimed. She might as well be a rebellious teenager without a cause.

    When all is said and done Kaitlyn and Shawn are two terribly insecure people. They just show it in different ways but neither one is more confident than the other. They both have a need to prove themselves ad nauseum. One is an adolescent boy and the other is an adolescent girl. We’re not looking at an adult man or woman here, folks.

    I’ve been loving Unreal up until recently but the jumping off the roof bit was too much and disappointing.

  7. cjscjs711

    July 9, 2015 at 1:09 PM

    @brick I agree – released accidentally on purpose. When the public was believing Steve’s wrong spoiler Kaitlyn was taking a lot of heat for ‘not choosing anyone’ and on some level wanted to let people know she in fact did.

    As a lot of health professionals have commented, the show took a real risk in having such an emotionally distraught person – distraught you might say, beyond anything normal…. get dumped at the edge of a cliff. The show uses many techniques common to ‘brainwashing’ and in experiments such as the Stanford Prison experiment (Kelsey agreed specifically on this last point in one of her blogs.) in which people are pushed beyond a normal perception of reality and will do things they would not normally do.

    So before seeing this Cupcake cliffside episode, I’d have agreed UnREAL went too far. If Chris had decided to jump, no one would have been able to stop him in time. So actually– I don’t think it was that farfetched…..

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