Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” 7/8/15

You may have seen this already, but if not, the first big paragraph is worth reading:

Sharleen mentions that Kaitlyn sneaking in to see Shaun was definitely not authorized by producers. This insight, coupled with the fact that we know she does end up with Shaun, makes me agree with Sharleen when she suggests that some of the “plot twists” were designed as a slap on the wrist for Kaitlyn.

Comment: It’s possible it was, but honestly, I don’t think we’re ever gonna know because that’s the kind of behind-the-scenes stuff they won’t speak about publicly. If I hear about it after the fact I’ll relay it on, but I doubt I will. Sharleen’s blog definitely provides good insight on 3 levels: 1) She’s someone who knows how the show works 2) She’s friends with Nick 3) She recently hung out with Kaitlyn. Nothing she ever says in her blog will ever say, “Well, Nick told me this” or “Kaitlyn mentioned this to me,” but when reading her if you keep that in mind, it might clarify some things.

Enjoyed the initial seasons…before it became about the drama more than budding romance.

I’ve not read your blog from the start, however your irreverent wit
makes it possible for me to escape into this silly show whenever I
watch it these days. I do prefer The Bachelorette to The Bachelor;
the women’s antics competing for ‘the man’ are beyond difficult to
stomach. Perhaps it’s the idealist in me, but this show seemed to
have undergone a seismic shift from Tricia’s season to what it has
become now. I sure wish they’d cast a lead who has something original
to say while getting acquainted with a potential mate. I guess that
is missing the whole point, isn’t it?

Comment: Yes. Exactly. Completely missing the whole point. Trista’s season was over 10 years ago. We’re in a completely different television landscape than we were back then.

Hi Steve,

Nice work on the BIP spoilers! I have a question/theory about Kaitlyn’s season. In Sharleen’s Flare recap this week, she said there was no way production would ever allow Kaitlyn have “off-camera time” with Shawn, so she must have snuck out to see him. She theorized that production was pissed about it, which was why Chris Harrison gave her such a stern talking-to about “leveling the playing field.” Do you think they were angry at her for seeing Shawn and telling him “you’re the one”? Chris H. certainly seemed angry with her when he broke the news about hometowns. My theory is that all the soundbytes of Kaitlyn talking about what a huge mistake she made and all the guilt she feels weren’t about the Nick sex at all. They were about the “you’re the one” conversation, but production made it seem like she felt guilty for having sex to spite her for breaking the rules. What do you think? Between that transgression and the snapchat video, I doubt Kaitlyn is their favorite person right now!

Comment: Well, they’re definitely not happy with her for the snapchat thing. That I can assure you of. As for everything else, again, it’s speculation at this point.

Kaitlyn says Ben H should be bachelor and he’s still on show, she continues to spoil her season herself.

Comment: Yeah, I saw that. She did an interview last week when there were still 6 guys left and asked who she thought would make a good “Bachelor” and she answered Ben H. Ha ha. Oops.

I love you, and I love blind items. Any truth to this? Or is she already off your radar?

Comment: No.

This email was sent in before yesterday’s column went up, so if you haven’t read it, go check out what I said about the “Crazy Days and Nights” site. It’s important.

Hey Steve, let your reader know that the font she was looking for (from the group date card in UnReal) is most likely Dear Joe 6 and it’s a free download. I’m a graphic designer (and font nerd, obviously). 🙂

Comment: Here’s one….

So I don’t know what is more Anal.. this person that asked this question, or the fact that I took the time to find the answer for them! The font used might be something closed to the font ‘Dear Joe’… or ‘Dear Joe 3’. Just a suggestion to them if you feel like passing it along.

I attached the email below so you can remember what I am talking about. Also a picture of the letter.


Comment: …and here’s two. Back-to-back emails that literally arrived within 5 minutes of each other last week talking about the same topic. Thank you for doing my work for me. I really didn’t want to look that up.

Hi Steve,

Long time reader, second time emailer. In the Dublin rose ceremony cocktail party Ben H. accuses Kaitlyn of telling Shawn that she is going to pick him. From that conversation, I got the impression that the “alone time” in San Antonio that Shawn keeps bragging about actually wasn’t “alone time” and in fact Ben H. was in the room the whole time because maybe he and Shawn shared a room at the time. I think this because Ben H. says something along the lines of “you visited the guys in San Antonio off camera, and so we were hanging out, then the morning finally rolled around and I hopped in the shower and when I came back the vibe was different between you and Shawn because I think you gave him too much reassurance” (obviously the producers planted the idea in Ben H.’s head that “something happened” while he was in the shower). Do you think it’s possible that Shawn’s “alone time” was actually shared with Ben H.?

If this is the case, I would think it makes it less likely that Shawn and Kaitlyn had sex before the fantasy suite.

Comment: By Ben and Kaitlyn’s conversation, I understood it to mean she hung out with just those two for hours. Then when Ben left to go shower and rub one out (I mean, c’mon. When else you gonna do it on this show?), maybe that’s where she slipped in the “You’re the one” comment. But again, we’ll probably never know.

OK, I am a new fan of yours and actually read your column and have been kind of ignoring the Bachelorette, as it’s really bad this year. I keep reading how viewership is up and can’t figure out why as the Bachelorette FB page has nothing but hate mail, very few seem to like Kaitlyn or the new format or the whole show. I’m wondering if those great ‘viewer’ figures might be pumped up to get people to watch because no one seems to like her or the show anymore. I know you think it’s great to have change, but it seems like the quality of the bachelors and bachelorettes are changing. It’s beginning to be more like a Jerry Springer Show. I realize it’s all fake and probably no intentions of marriage, but we still like to hope for a couple to hook up for real, that’s why we watch the show. Now it seems like it’s more of a game to see how they can shock the public.

My question is, of the many many choices, why did the producers pick Kaitlyn? Not too many people liked her even from the bachelor, just read all the reviews even on the promo pages for Bachelorette. She does not seem to have the quality or background of a woman with class. No job we know of, acts very immature, and not all that good looking from many peoples’ perspective. And it sounds like she is more interested in sex than finding a mate. I know the show is fake, but so are a lot of movies we go to see, but we all like happy endings and there is always hope that just one might have wedding bells…… and there is no way Kaitlyn will get married to one of these men.

Thank you for your spoilers, it has made this season bearable with your comments. And I now watch UnReal, thanks for letting us all know about it.

Comment: All I can say to your email is you don’t speak for the masses. 7 million people watched this past week. It was the 8th episode. Basically the viewership has grown back up every week since the second episode. So just because you don’t like Kaitlyn and think she’s the worst ever and the show isn’t about love anymore, you’re in the minority of people that are tuning out. This is what the show is now and has been for probably the last 5 or 6 years.

Hey Steve,

You ended the chat I wasn’t able to get it in.. Not show related at all. Was wondering Olivia was wearing a Ducks jersey does she play hockey too? Or only her brother? Do you play? Are you a hockey fan?

Are you happy with the NBA drafts and trades so far? Thoughts?

Comment: Yes, Olivia and Nicholas are huge Ducks fans. Nicholas plays in line hockey and loves it. Olivia just likes the Ducks in general. Nicholas’ obsession with hockey is bordering on unhealthy. Basically every conversation he has with me, his sister, or even when he’s talking to himself centers around hockey. He loves it. I can’t tell you how many hockey clips he watches on YouTube all day, every day. Over and over and over again. Same ones all the time.

As an animal lover my heart goes ahhhh when maddie looks up at you..she justs wants to be picked up so she can sit on your lap…..she loves her steve sooo much…please acknowledge her more…her eyes are pleading!!!! Hehehe p.s. Hey doesn’t your sister have a fan you could use in the back room or doesn’t she like you???8…????

Comment: Actually Maddie doesn’t want to be picked up. I can never hold her for more than a few seconds before she immediately wants to be put down. That live chat is the weirdest thing. I’m in front of my computer a lot. Pretty much all day. When I’m typing all day, Maddie is never next to me. Ever. She’s always on the bed in the room. But come Thursday night, when I sit down to prepare for that show, the second she hears me talking to the computer, she comes running in. It’s the weirdest thing. Like she knows I’m doing some live show that she wants to show up on. That thing she does on Thursday’s where her paws are on my leg and she wants to be acknowledged? The only time she does that all week is every Thursday night between 8-9 CST. She NEVER does it any other time. Bizarre.

The reason we don’t run the fan at my sister’s house is because one time we did, and people kept saying how loud it was in the background and they had trouble hearing me. It’s usually no more than 1 or 2 shows a year I do from back there, so I’m fine with it.

Hi Steve,

Long-time reader, never an email-er.

Anyway, I’m sitting at a coffee shop working on a Grad School paper, and overhear a woman talking about her recent trip to Ireland. She tells her coffee date how she and her travel friend initially missed a bus to the Blarney Store, but just HAD to get there. So they rent a car, and in their excitement to go, accidentally HIT a car on their way there. Thanks to my new-found knowledge from your column regarding Irish teens and their potty habits, it took everything in my not to yell “you HIT a car to kiss a piss covered stone?!!?!?!”

Thanks for the laughs, Steve. You make Tuesday – Thursday entertaining.

Comment: Have Kaitlyn and Jared had their lips inspected for any fungus growing on them since their trip to the Blarney Stone? If not, they should.

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  1. Jman123

    July 8, 2015 at 11:57 AM

    On the Nick wedding ring question, I strongly suspect it is the Irish ring that he bought on their date (he bought her one too).

  2. rob22

    July 8, 2015 at 12:06 PM

    So, status quo on the Bachelorette front. Nothing new. But, I am liking UN-Real much more. I thought the suicide was a… dare I say it… shocking twist. I didn’t see that coming. I was pretty sure she’d become unhinged & go postal, but never saw her jumping off a roof. So, it does have me wondering where they go from here. The police will now be involved as well as the media. It seems like the whole things is coming off the rails. But I guess a straight parody show wouldn’t really be that interesting.

    As far as the future of The Bachelorette, obviously this season has been a one off with the slut edit and emphasis on open sex with Nick & all the fall out from that. I never thought they’d go down that road, but it’s an old franchise & the ratings have taken a turn upwards this season. Attitudes are changing and a new generation is in the mix. (Did you know a Millennial can be as old as 33?) It wouldn’t surprise me if future shows were closer to this season’s style than past seasons. I guess we’ll see. Certainly that’s the model you see in most other recent reality shows. The contestants or stars are usually not respected. They’re on TV to be mocked by the masses.

    It is pretty amazing though. A sub-par group of guys and a decidedly plain looking, immature, brain donor & non-career woman becomes the lead & ratings go up. Crazy.

  3. jlyoung

    July 8, 2015 at 3:24 PM

    I have actually liked Kaitlyn through most of the show but hearing that she lets Nick get down on one knee to propose knowing that she isn’t going to accept is disgusting! I understand the show is probably loving that for ratings. I actually see her in a whole new light. At least give the guy proposing the dignity of cutting him off at some point or sending an obvious signal to let him know he doesn’t need to go through that whole production. Some people in the real world actually consider a proposal to be special and something they only want to do once (and yes, I know, not something they do on TV). Like I said, that’s tacky and classless. I gave Kaitlyn too much credit it seems.

  4. vessel

    July 8, 2015 at 5:26 PM

    I don’t get why some of these leads let the producers talk them into allowing their F2 guy to get down on one knee only to yank them back up. Ashley and DeAnna also did that with guys they knew they were rejecting. Anyone remember anyone else doing that? Hmmmm, both those seasons the rejected proposal guy went on to be the Bachelor (Jason and Ben) but I suppose Steve is right that Nick won’t get the gig.

  5. wavecatchingmom

    July 8, 2015 at 9:52 PM

    They probably get some incentive for multiple proposals?? If not the “actors” than the producers so they somehow talk them into it…
    UNreal jumped the shark for me, unfortunately, I loved the episode before and now… cmon, where can they go from here?? A little too over the top, I think Adam is going to find out about Shia and save the day for Rachel, like a real prince, before Kevin can do it…
    Rob22 I fear you are right, but then again, at any time they could make Ben H like Shaun’s season, and maybe cast a hopeless romantic and keep her sheltered like they did Catherine?? Who knows, only time will tell, I think that is why they are moving away from Josh though, no one would think big choppers is really sincere, or any of the girls after big choppers would be….seems like more potential with Ben H to develop the contestants’ story lines. Can’t wait to see Ashley S in Paradise!!!
    This season is yawnworthy now.

  6. brick

    July 9, 2015 at 6:35 AM

    I never bought the snapchat thing being a mistake. Of course Kaitlyn will maintain it was a mistake. Saying it was accidental has gotten her into enough hot water – she’d never have it in her to admit it was done on purpose and face even more wrath and why should she. She well knows no one can prove her intentions. But it goes with other behaviours we’ve seen of hers both in this season and in Chris’ season. She’s not “edgy” as some have claimed. She might as well be a rebellious teenager without a cause.

    When all is said and done Kaitlyn and Shawn are two terribly insecure people. They just show it in different ways but neither one is more confident than the other. They both have a need to prove themselves ad nauseum. One is an adolescent boy and the other is an adolescent girl. We’re not looking at an adult man or woman here, folks.

    I’ve been loving Unreal up until recently but the jumping off the roof bit was too much and disappointing.

  7. cjscjs711

    July 9, 2015 at 1:09 PM

    @brick I agree – released accidentally on purpose. When the public was believing Steve’s wrong spoiler Kaitlyn was taking a lot of heat for ‘not choosing anyone’ and on some level wanted to let people know she in fact did.

    As a lot of health professionals have commented, the show took a real risk in having such an emotionally distraught person – distraught you might say, beyond anything normal…. get dumped at the edge of a cliff. The show uses many techniques common to ‘brainwashing’ and in experiments such as the Stanford Prison experiment (Kelsey agreed specifically on this last point in one of her blogs.) in which people are pushed beyond a normal perception of reality and will do things they would not normally do.

    So before seeing this Cupcake cliffside episode, I’d have agreed UnREAL went too far. If Chris had decided to jump, no one would have been able to stop him in time. So actually– I don’t think it was that farfetched…..

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