Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” 7/8/15

RS, huge fan. I’ve agreed with you on everything, but I have to say that I find Kaitlyn’s conduct reprehensible re Nick.

First, I believe Nick hit Andi below the belt at the AFTR because she was so cold to him after leading him to believe he was the one. I think Nick likes the limelight, but is genuinely a sensitive guy. She had sex with him and then dropped him with no explanations and acted very cold to him. I think he was hurt and desperate.

Re kaitlyn, sure they had sex on their first date, but to his credit, they had known each other for a while before the show. He, and even she, felt like they had started a relationship before the show started, so it’s a bit different.

Nick has not tried to milk his role in the Bachelor series. After Andi, he went back to his life and reached out to Kaitlyn privately. He’s not some bartender or wannabe actor. I just think he gets a lot of criticism unjustifiably. He seems passionate and a bit caught up in the moments, but comes off as being far more intelligent and reasonable than these other boneheads. Also, when he hangs with Kaitlyn, they actually have substantive conversations, rather than surface level small talk and make outs.

As for Kaitlyn, I could care less that she had sex w Nick – after all, they seem to have great chemistry and truly to have started something pre show. No judgment. But, what’s awful is her response to it. She keeps talking about how she feels bad for having sex w Nick because it’s hurting the other guys. What? She needs to take some accountability. How selfish is that? How does that make Nick feel- thanks for the sex but don’t talk about it because I’m still trying to be in a relationship w other guys. The fact is that for some people, sex means something. I think it does for Nick, but this makes me feel like it doesn’t for Kaitlyn. If the lead were a male and roles reversed, he would be crucified as being a sexist if he had sex w a girl and then talked about feeling bad because he wanted relationships w other women.

Lastly, I dont mind her making out w guys either, but why make out w them if you are sending them home? She knew she was going to boot Ben Z, but made out with him before the rose ceremony….wtf! Why do that? If I were booting a guy and had “relationships” with at least 5 other guys, I definitely wouldn’t be making out w him. It’s fine to make sure there’s chemistry, but this crosses into just gratuitous, counterintuitive behavior.

I read a column by a woman who thinks kaitlyn has borderline personality disorder. I’ve encountered this as an attorney w certain “victims”. Thoughts about Kaitlyn’s behaviors?

Comment: Everyone is entitled to their opinion of course, but I pretty much disagree with everything you said. My reaction to that is I think you take the show too seriously. Really? Would you rather see a lead only make out with one or two guys? How boring would that be? Kaitlyn isn’t the only one who’s done it and she isn’t the last.

In regards to your stance on Nick, obviously you’re a fan, so nothing I say will convince you otherwise about him. We’ll just agree to disagree on the guy. Do I hate him? Of course not. But I certainly don’t see him like you do either.


OMG! Olivia was so completely adorable on the live chat last week, especially when someone asked her about a movie she’d seen. She immediately said she’d give it 4 stars.

This gave me the idea that she should do movie reviews each time she’s on your chat. She could review 1 or 2 movies and say what the movie was, what she liked about it, what she thought could have made the movie better (if anything), then rate it by the number of stars she thinks it should have.

I think this would be very well received.

Keep doing what you are doing!

Comment: Well, Olivia only shows up on maybe 2 shows a year. And considering the only movies she watches are Disney/Pixar movies, not sure that will relate with my readers. But it’s fun having her on once in a while. People emailed after last week’s show telling me that those that were in the “chat” during the show were pissed she was on. Don’t even get me started. Really? Of all the live chats I do, I can’t bring Olivia on for 15 minutes once or twice? Some people amaze me. How about this? Rather than complaining Olivia is on, how about you just sign off when you see her? No one’s forcing you to watch. My show, I’ll run it how I see fit. Thanks.

Sorry if this has already been asked/answered….Any clue why Nick wears a wedding band on his right hand? I really, really, really try not to look at his weaselly, wormy face, but tonight, while trying desperately to figure out what she sees in him, noticed there is a plain band on his right hand. Pretty sure it’s not a purity ring!

Comment: No idea.

I’ve never emailed you before but I saw this comment on Instagram and had to laugh! Apparently you need to be fired.


Comment: Yes. I should immediately stop doing something that’s perfect legal to do. I say it all the time: Anyone in my position who has the information that I get every season would be doing the exact same thing.

Dear Steve,

sorry for the randomness of this but do you have any idea whatever happened to Nicki Sterling? She just seemed to drop off the face of the Earth. Did she find a nice guy to remarry?


Comment: One of the only women, literally ever, in this franchise who completely fell off the face of the earth. I believe she’s either engaged or now married to some dude here in the Dallas area.


Shawn’s humiliation last night was really painful to watch. And the whole thing is enabled because Kaitlyn knows she has him by the privates. Her process was ruthless and methodical:

1. Begin aggressively: Tell Shawn that you were wrong to say he was “the one”. Translation: I know that was incredibly important and meaningful for you, but remember I own that, and I’m taking it back.

2. Tell him that you banged his chief rival after telling him he was the one!!! Translation: I do whatever the hell I want. If you don’t like it, there’s the door. If you get in line and cooperate, there’s potential sexy time waiting for you in the end.

3. Act like you feel guilty about it, because that gives him a chance to be a noble guy who doesn’t want to see you hurt.

4. Once he bites on that, remind him that there are other guys in the house that you want to “explore”, and that he has to let you do that. Translation: Never forget who the boss is, ‘cause you can get fired.

5. Go out to that rose ceremony and give another rose to the guy you banged, right in front of Shawn. Translation: live with it homey, I do what the hell I want, and it’s gonna be like that when we leave the show, too.

Kaitlyn’s snapchat of Shawn fits in perfectly with how we saw her completely cut his nuts off last night. He lays down where she tells him to, she takes the pic, she distributes the pic, in her time and for her purposes.

I’m far from being a fan of Nick’s, but it’s pretty obvious why she chose Shawn—he was the one she knew she could control. I realize that more women than men probably watch this show, but every guy watching it wishes we could sit down with Shawn over beers and talk some sense into that guy.

Comment: Great email. Yeah, she seems to have him by the balls (at least on this show). If that continues in real life, no way it’s going to last. I’m sure Shawn must be watching this show and cringing at how he acted. It’s embarrassing.

Hey Steve

Was happy to find out UnReal got renewed for Season 2. Good news on that front.

The ending of this week’s episode on UnReal was a WTF moment. I have no idea what’s coming up next but I am looking forward to finding out. I can’t thank you enough for the suggestion. I must mention I haven’t given Friday Night Lights a look in yet, but will do so soon.

Keep doing what you do

Comment: I thought Mary plunging to her death was a bit extreme. Just seemed like they didn’t need to go there. Maybe the threat of it, sure. But to actually do it and now they have a dead contestant who killed themselves from the pressure of the show? Whoa. A bit excessive if you ask me.

Go watch “Friday Night Lights.” You won’t be disappointed. I’m sure if you’ve read enough “Reader Email” columns you know how many people have thanked me for turning them on to it. Not one person has told me they don’t like it.

I guess this point is sort of moot at this juncture now that Shawn knows anyway, but I often wonder why producers choose to keep some information private when it’s the perfect opportunity to create drama, which is obviously their main objective. Take Kaitlyn sleeping with Nick for example — don’t you think it would have resulted in a much bigger blow up if a producer had planted a seed for Shawn to find out from someone other than Kaitlyn? Combine his shock with the betrayal of her keeping a secret and it would have been the perfect recipe for an emotional meltdown. Or like when Courtney jumped in the water with Ben or the Claire and Juan Pablo thing, I don’t really understand why producers didn’t take those opportunities to spill the beans to the other guys/girls to create a blowup of drama and tears. Many of those events didn’t come to light to the other contestants until the ATFR … any thoughts on this?

Comment: I think it worked out for them pretty well by going with the storyline they’ve run with this season, don’t you think? Sure they could’ve done it another way, but audience response this season has been just as high as any past season.


Love your site!

Question: Several episodes ago on “UnReal” the “host” was seen talking out the window. Then it panned and showed him thanking a contestant for the sex and moving on. Since this show is based loosely on today’s reality shows, was this to represent Chris Harrison and if so, do you know who it might have been? Is there a history of Harrison and the contestants?


Comment: I think the scene was exaggerated by the fact that the host was banging her as the show was in progress. I doubt that has happened. But has Chris Harrison ever been romantically linked with someone on the show? Absolutely. He knows it. The people on the show know it. But it’s just not talked about publicly.

Hi Steve – I have to believe that at least 95% of the contestants that apply for the bachelor/bachelorette are aware of your site. That being said, they are all now privy to UnReal and how it works. I can’t imagine knowing the manipulation that goes along with this process that new contestants will fall for it as easily in future episodes the way Shawn has. What are your thoughts going forward?

Comment: Because people want to be on TV that bad, that’s how. Not to mention, that until you actually go through it, ALL of them think they can get on there and work the system. They all think, “Well as long as I don’t give them any good material, they can’t possibly make me look bad,” and that’s their biggest mistake. You say that going in, but once you’re there, as we’ve seen time and time again, these producers can make people do just about anything. And if they don’t, they’ll create it to make you look like you did.

I guess the promo they showed at the beginning of the season of a naked man running away is just another promo never to be explained by the show. But do you know what was going on there? Nope.

I didn’t watch Andie’s season. (But still read your spoilers). So I didn’t ever see Nick on that season. Besides the other guys just being jealous I don’t see what is wrong with him. Am I missing something? Impossible to explain that to you if you never watched Andi’s season.

I know looks are subjective. But Shawn is not attractive. And heaven forbid they ever have a daughter and she gets that nose.

Comment: Yep. Looks are subjective. Some think Shawn is a Ryan Gosling/Calvin Harris clone with the sexiest deep voice ever given to a man. Some people think he’s flat out the ugliest guy they’ve ever seen. That’s why this show is popular and millions of people watch it every season. Everyone’s got an opinion.

Hi Steve, no questions about the Bachelorette now but I have one about Unreal. For some sick reason I’m not sure of, I really enjoy this show. Maybe b/c people now will believe what you’ve been saying for years about this franchise. My question: on the episode last night when Mary had the “family date” and they showed her true bi-polar self, do u think the producers would go so far as that one did in switching her medication? It seems really far fetched and very unethical. If they did and the contestants found out could they sue? For some reason this episode really bothered me and pissed me off to think that the show would stoop so low as to tinker with someone’s health. Your thoughts? Thanks for the spoilers this season. As always, you never disappoint. B—

Comment: I don’t think they’d switch out someone’s medication – no. Would they withhold it? Possibly.

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  1. Jman123

    July 8, 2015 at 11:57 AM

    On the Nick wedding ring question, I strongly suspect it is the Irish ring that he bought on their date (he bought her one too).

  2. rob22

    July 8, 2015 at 12:06 PM

    So, status quo on the Bachelorette front. Nothing new. But, I am liking UN-Real much more. I thought the suicide was a… dare I say it… shocking twist. I didn’t see that coming. I was pretty sure she’d become unhinged & go postal, but never saw her jumping off a roof. So, it does have me wondering where they go from here. The police will now be involved as well as the media. It seems like the whole things is coming off the rails. But I guess a straight parody show wouldn’t really be that interesting.

    As far as the future of The Bachelorette, obviously this season has been a one off with the slut edit and emphasis on open sex with Nick & all the fall out from that. I never thought they’d go down that road, but it’s an old franchise & the ratings have taken a turn upwards this season. Attitudes are changing and a new generation is in the mix. (Did you know a Millennial can be as old as 33?) It wouldn’t surprise me if future shows were closer to this season’s style than past seasons. I guess we’ll see. Certainly that’s the model you see in most other recent reality shows. The contestants or stars are usually not respected. They’re on TV to be mocked by the masses.

    It is pretty amazing though. A sub-par group of guys and a decidedly plain looking, immature, brain donor & non-career woman becomes the lead & ratings go up. Crazy.

  3. jlyoung

    July 8, 2015 at 3:24 PM

    I have actually liked Kaitlyn through most of the show but hearing that she lets Nick get down on one knee to propose knowing that she isn’t going to accept is disgusting! I understand the show is probably loving that for ratings. I actually see her in a whole new light. At least give the guy proposing the dignity of cutting him off at some point or sending an obvious signal to let him know he doesn’t need to go through that whole production. Some people in the real world actually consider a proposal to be special and something they only want to do once (and yes, I know, not something they do on TV). Like I said, that’s tacky and classless. I gave Kaitlyn too much credit it seems.

  4. vessel

    July 8, 2015 at 5:26 PM

    I don’t get why some of these leads let the producers talk them into allowing their F2 guy to get down on one knee only to yank them back up. Ashley and DeAnna also did that with guys they knew they were rejecting. Anyone remember anyone else doing that? Hmmmm, both those seasons the rejected proposal guy went on to be the Bachelor (Jason and Ben) but I suppose Steve is right that Nick won’t get the gig.

  5. wavecatchingmom

    July 8, 2015 at 9:52 PM

    They probably get some incentive for multiple proposals?? If not the “actors” than the producers so they somehow talk them into it…
    UNreal jumped the shark for me, unfortunately, I loved the episode before and now… cmon, where can they go from here?? A little too over the top, I think Adam is going to find out about Shia and save the day for Rachel, like a real prince, before Kevin can do it…
    Rob22 I fear you are right, but then again, at any time they could make Ben H like Shaun’s season, and maybe cast a hopeless romantic and keep her sheltered like they did Catherine?? Who knows, only time will tell, I think that is why they are moving away from Josh though, no one would think big choppers is really sincere, or any of the girls after big choppers would be….seems like more potential with Ben H to develop the contestants’ story lines. Can’t wait to see Ashley S in Paradise!!!
    This season is yawnworthy now.

  6. brick

    July 9, 2015 at 6:35 AM

    I never bought the snapchat thing being a mistake. Of course Kaitlyn will maintain it was a mistake. Saying it was accidental has gotten her into enough hot water – she’d never have it in her to admit it was done on purpose and face even more wrath and why should she. She well knows no one can prove her intentions. But it goes with other behaviours we’ve seen of hers both in this season and in Chris’ season. She’s not “edgy” as some have claimed. She might as well be a rebellious teenager without a cause.

    When all is said and done Kaitlyn and Shawn are two terribly insecure people. They just show it in different ways but neither one is more confident than the other. They both have a need to prove themselves ad nauseum. One is an adolescent boy and the other is an adolescent girl. We’re not looking at an adult man or woman here, folks.

    I’ve been loving Unreal up until recently but the jumping off the roof bit was too much and disappointing.

  7. cjscjs711

    July 9, 2015 at 1:09 PM

    @brick I agree – released accidentally on purpose. When the public was believing Steve’s wrong spoiler Kaitlyn was taking a lot of heat for ‘not choosing anyone’ and on some level wanted to let people know she in fact did.

    As a lot of health professionals have commented, the show took a real risk in having such an emotionally distraught person – distraught you might say, beyond anything normal…. get dumped at the edge of a cliff. The show uses many techniques common to ‘brainwashing’ and in experiments such as the Stanford Prison experiment (Kelsey agreed specifically on this last point in one of her blogs.) in which people are pushed beyond a normal perception of reality and will do things they would not normally do.

    So before seeing this Cupcake cliffside episode, I’d have agreed UnREAL went too far. If Chris had decided to jump, no one would have been able to stop him in time. So actually– I don’t think it was that farfetched…..

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