Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise 2

“Bachelor in Paradise 2” Episode 3 Recap & An Update on the Relationships

Major news yesterday. Huge. And no, absolutely nothing to do with anything that happened on BIP 2 or “After Paradise.” No, the news of the day in my eyes was Jennifer Love Hewitt pining for a sequel to “Can’t Hardly Wait.” Don’t you dare toy with my emotions like that J-love. Don’t. You. Dare. It’s bad enough you went and got yourself knocked up by your “Client List” co-star, then magically decided to marry him and pop out another kid and stomp on my heart. However if you’re gonna bring this up, you better follow through. I wanna see a grown up Amanda Beckett and what she’s done since high school. Obviously there’s no way she ended up with that dweeb Preston. Hell, she probably went running back to Mike Dexter and got knocked up by him and now she’s a stay at home mom with a 3, 2, and 1 year old. That’s my guess. Whatever the case, make the sequel. I always jump on Hollywood for completely being unoriginal and never having any new good ideas, but all will be forgiven if you give us a “Can’t Hardly Wait 2.” It would probably end up being the greatest sequel ever made and I would make sure that everyone in America went and saw it. And by the way, if you haven’t seen the original, go buy it, download it, rent it, whatever. You’ll thank me later.

Since they never even got to the cocktail party last night, let alone the rose ceremony, you might wanna get caught up on what happens at the next rose ceremony. It gets kinda confusing. So here are your episode-by-episode spoilers.

Now a few of you have been tweeting and emailing about the status of some of these people’s relationships since the show ended. I know social media can be a tricky thing, and if two people take a picture together somehow they’re automatically a couple. Not quite. Here’s the latest I can give you.

-No, Carly and Dan are not dating.
-Yes, Carly and Kirk did break up on the show and are not together right now.
-Nick Peterson and Samantha are still together.
-Tenley is not dating anyone, although she definitely wishes she was with Ben H. And no, she’s not going on his season.
-Tanner and Jade are still engaged.
-The only real change from the ending, is Cass and Justin have since broken up and she’s definitely now seeing Jonathan.
-As mentioned last week, Ashley S. got back together with some guy from college right after filming and she’s pretty much separated herself from the franchise.

Those are the ones I get asked the most about, so if you have any others, feel free to ask. But as far as I know, no one else is together with anyone else from the show. There are JJ/Juelia rumors floating around, but I don’t believe those are true either. JJ is playing the field my friends. Oh is he ever. Good lord.

One of the main producers of the “Bachelor” gave a bogus interview to E! about the process they go through when picking the next “Bachelor.” So much BS in these answers it’s sickening. EVERY season the fans are torn on who they like. Quit pretending like last season was the only one where the audience was torn. Please. Every person who makes it into the final 4 has their own fan base. And enough with the, “our contestants were torn too.” Ummm, you mean the contestants that you personally invite back to final casting after knowing who they’re interested in? Just more propaganda from the show that shows how much they lie and deceive their viewers, all while pretending they care about them.

If you haven’t read Sharleen’s blog about Paradise, I suggest you do. It’s now the only one I read on a weekly basis. Always makes great points, well thought out, well written, and smart. Not to mention, she will always call the show out for their BS because she doesn’t care. Good stuff.

Ratings are in from the last couple nights, and the show continues to grow it’s audience. Sunday’s ratings were it’s best of the season with 4 million viewers and a 1.3 rating, up from 3.7 million and 1.2 the previous week. Last night drew its highest ratings of the season with 5.2 million overall viewers, and a 1.5 rating, up from 5 million and 1.4 rating last Monday. “After Paradise” actually went down 100k viewers from 3.3 million to 3.2 million last night, but the .8 rating has been the same all three weeks. Will probably get an uptick next week with the “official” announcement of the next “Bachelor.”

Nell Kalter’s RHOC recap is now up for your viewing. As you know, I don’t watch these shows, hence the reason someone else is recapping them. But what’s going on with Teresa Giudice? She’s doing interviews from prison? She’s coming back on the show right when she gets out of the clink? I swear these people cannot go a day without thinking what life would be like for them if, you know, they didn’t have cameras following them around 24/7.

Before I get to this week’s poll question, wanted to mention last week’s. For some reason, it was one of the most voted on questions we’ve ever had since I started doing this. Apparently Ashley I. strikes a real nerve with a lot of you. Over 18,000 people voted, and 71% of you don’t like her. Pretty resounding answer I’d say. Anyway this week, I’m basically stealing the poll question they asked on “After Paradise” last night. I know where this answer is headed, I’m just curious how many vote and how lopsided it gets. Here you go:

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  1. punk

    August 18, 2015 at 10:48 AM

    The only amusing thing about this show is seeing the reactions of people on social media who actually think it is all real. PUH-LEASE.

    This show is as scripted and/or controlled as any other reality TV show. The Producers tell the contestants what to do or say, who to confront and how to do it. Who to talk to and when, often what to talk about. The drama is 90% contrived, with the rest being legit by the dolts who get caught in their circumstance (hi Ashley I!).

    Joe played a role. And he had fun with it. Made for better ratings that he did. And he got the hot girl for a while as a result. And I think that the producers actually know this and worked it. Apparently, not enough people watched UnReal.

    The After show is still pretty awful. Jenny from Elan’s block sucks. She is a bag of flaming turds.

  2. rob22

    August 18, 2015 at 11:02 AM

    ….and one time, at band camp,…. It’s probably the terrible show, but that’s all I could think of while reading this recap. I could only manage 1 1/2 pages before giving up. The show is a dumpster fire, and not in a good gotta watch the train wreck way. So the recap is a snoozer. I recommend boiling yourself to death before I would recommend reading all 4 pages of this flaming pile.

  3. cjscjs711

    August 18, 2015 at 1:02 PM

    @rob22 I often agree with a lot that you say but strangely on this blog, I think it was one of his better! (Me being one of his regular critics, even!)

    You have to realize not everyone watches these shows with their undivided attention. I’ve usually got it playing in the background while I’m on another computer doing retouching. Or even in the kitchen. Or doing laundry. So a play-by-play actually fills in some gaps, and I like it when Steve brings up references to Twitter tweets, etc. because I honestly don’t have time to follow all these people on Twitter and the tabloids. At all. So hearing what they’re tweeting – especially after blowing away the chaff – I really appreciate.

    And I very often agree with Steve’s analyses, which I think he’s consistently better at than making fun – although he does come through with some real gems now and then.

    I disagree with Steve on the raccoon being insulting to audience intelligence. MAYBE there’s a VERY small percentage who believed she literally believed she was talking to a raccoon, just like there’s an equal possibility that a small percentage of people believe when they see Reggie Brown impersonating Barack Obama are fooled into thinking they’re actually seeing President Obama. You know – but you can’t cater to the lowest common denominator…..

  4. angelfish

    August 18, 2015 at 1:19 PM

    I watch the same way you do. One ear listening, one eye watching and a myriad of other things I need to do getting taken care of.

    And while I’m a big Steve fan and a defender, I tend to skim when he gets long-winded or into an area that doesn’t interest me. It’s all still fun for me, since I just don’t take anything related to this franchise too seriously.

  5. locondcoco

    August 18, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    I think Clare posted on Instagram last week, and in the caption, she said something like- “contrary to popular belief, BIP is not shot in real time”…haha. I cant believe people can be that stupid. but i guess i’m the one that’s stupid if i can’t believe it!

  6. caffeinequeen

    August 18, 2015 at 3:47 PM

    I’m with @cjscjs711 and @angelfish. I am usually doing several other things while halfway paying attention to this show. Sometimes the recaps are all I have time for… I mean two nights of this a week!?

    I don’t feel like my intelligence is being insulted by the BIP producers who keep at the same tired jokes. I’m just way past the point of thinking that watching Clare (supposedly) communicate with critters and watching Megan try to walk, talk, and think simultaneously is funny.

  7. flightgirl

    August 18, 2015 at 7:51 PM

    I don’t think Samantha is all that pretty. She looks much older than however old she is. This show forces people to “couple up” in order to stay in the “game” so the people on it should be aware of that obvious aspect. It would suck to be the person in a “relationship” who doesn’t want to be with the other person yet feels somehow “obligated” or pressured after just one date or because they were given a rose.

    Juila herself dumped Jonathan. As mentioned on that after show, she was warned by numerous people about Joe too. What comes around, goes around for all of them.

  8. hurricaneemily

    August 18, 2015 at 7:57 PM

    Great recap as always. I’m surprised that any of these relationships last, frankly. Samantha and Joe are a match forged in the fires of hell. Thanks for inspiring me to write about this franchise. Check out my week 3 recap:

  9. kimmyfromdablock

    August 19, 2015 at 7:16 AM

    My only comment is on Jenny Mollen’s hair and dress on the After show…….HORRENDOUS!!!!!!

  10. rob22

    August 19, 2015 at 8:52 AM

    I too only half listen & multi task. But as of today, because I end up falling asleep when I watch the show, I have only made it through the Sunday episode via DVR. I’m debating whether to even pull up Mondays & the after show sounds like a total abortion. I haven’t watched any of those yet. Thanks for the warnings BTW. RS & all of you have done a service to us by telling us how bad it is. I guess I shouldn’t blame RS for the rotten show that leaves me uninterested in the recap. He’s got a job to do & he can’t do anything about the POS quality of the show.

    BTW: Clare talking to the raccoon was REALLY, REALLY stupid. Whether the producers just thought it was funny or whether they thought people would believe it actually happened, it was an embarrassment. All I could think of was they were really desperate for material since they milked the whole Joe thing for such a tediously long time. And while Joe might be a tool (he is), he was just following the rules that they setup on the show. You have to pair up or you leave. So, what did they think was going to happen? The producers set it up to happen, it happened, then the producers setup some drama (who were those people btw?) to call out Joe on it. Contestants do the exact same thing on The Bachelor. They pretend to like the lead whether they like them or not. Otherwise the goodies dry up & they put you on a red-eye home. The incentives are clearly setup for people to do whatever they have to do to stay. So, predictably, that’s what they do.

  11. Cndgirl

    August 19, 2015 at 9:03 AM

    I love love love bip. It is my fav show in this franchise. Even though there still is producer driven drama and manipulation, I don’t think it’s nearly as much, as Joe showed all on his own, with minimal voice over and soliloquies. I actually find this show much more ‘real’ (or unreal) and you see behind the masks of these people more than you do in the Bach and ette shows. Especially the guys. Many a guy has been crush worthy on ette, but then they come on Bach pad or bip and we get to see who they really are. Remember Kovacs? He was a fav on Jillian’s season, and completely different on Bach pad. Sure, that had a money prize, but somehow I’m still finding the shows quite similar. I think it’s also because of a more even complement of men and women – not just everyone going after one person which can get kind of boring. I laugh and laugh all the way through Mon and Tues. 

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