Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise 2

“Bachelor in Paradise 2” Episode 3 Recap & An Update on the Relationships

-One thing this show will always do is when they show someone (in this case Ashley S.) talking about how solid their relationship is with someone else, inevitably that means that the next scene, that person is going to get dumped. And that’s what happened to Ashley S. She’s gushing about her relationship with Dan, saying she’s falling in love with him and going on and on and on to Jorge the bartender about how smitten she is. Flip the camera over to Dan who’s saying his relationship with Ashley has been a whirlwind and he doesn’t know how he feels. So they have a little talk down on the beach and Dan basically tells her he’s seeing differences between them and he’s questioning them. He still cares for her, but is pulling back a bit because he’s seeing that they are different people. Of course, none of these instances are ever shown. Granted, maybe Dan had some serious red flags and he really didn’t see himself with Ashley. Perfectly normal. It’s just that we never saw this behavior that she was demonstrating, just other contestants in ITM’s saying Ashley’s crazy side was coming out, so we have nothing to go off of. But essentially even though Dan was trying to politely tell her he was still into her, he wasn’t. Dan and Kirk basically had the same conversation with their women that night, and that was, “Yeah, I think you’re way more into me than I am into you right now. You’re crimping my game here. If I’m with you, then I can’t get action from anyone else anywhere, and I’m sorry, but I came on this show to have multiple women after me so I can pick and choose who I want.” Dan got out immediately. Kirk just decides to get laid in the meantime and he’ll get out later.

-They show Megan arriving. Sort of. Apparently she is the only person who gets “lost” in Mexico as she wanders the streets not knowing where she’s going and asking locals where Chris Harrison is. So stupid, so fake, so rehearsed and it’s on par with the Clare/raccoon stuff. Not funny anymore. Megan may be as bright as a box of crayons, but she obviously knows that’s her role on this show and she just plays it up for cameras. So dumb. Really? Everyone else that arrives on the show has a handler pick them up at the airport, take them to their hotel where they wait until they come on the show, yet you’re going to insult your audience’s intelligence yet again by thinking Megan had to find her own way on to the show? Of course I say that, but there it was Sunday night in my inbox, someone asking me how Megan would know to get to the resort they were going to if she’d never been to Mexico before. Why not just get a cab? I think I left a welt on my forehead of a hand print from slapping it so hard.

-When Megan arrives, she basically two choices of people to go out with: JJ or Dan. Everyone else has coupled up. Jared/Ashley I., Kirk/Carly, Tanner/Jade/, Josh/Tenley, Joe/Samantha. So each guy starts their “Hey, you know, I’d really be interested in getting to know you more” speech, even though just days earlier they were all over someone else. Megan tells us that in every relationship she’s been in, she’s been cheated on and lied to. Well then, this is the PERFECT place to find your next guy that’ll do that to you Megan. Hey, what happened to Dak back home? Still playing him like a fiddle too? Oh Megan, the whole ditzy blonde look-at-me-I’m-an-airhead act is getting tired already and you’ve been on the screen for maybe a minute so far. I’m glad that’s how you want people to view you, since you’re now pigeonholed into that character. And I don’t buy for a second her whole idea that every relationship she’s been in she’s the one cheated on and lied to. When you announce that on national TV, that’s usually code for: I’m the one who lies and cheats in relationships. Because the whole point of even saying that is to make yourself a victim and get people on your side. If you’re automatically telling an audience of strangers to feel sorry for you, it’s probably because you’re the one in the wrong. Oh sure, she may have been cheated on and lied to, but I’m guessing she’s done it herself. Megan ends up asking JJ out on a date and he says yes. But we don’t get that date until Monday’s episode. We still have a whole lotta Joe/Samantha stuff to get to.

-We get to my biggest problem I have with the Joe/Samantha/Juelia stuff. Lets set the scene first. Juelia is talking to her daughter on the phone all while the show is cutting to shots of Joe and Samantha in the hot tub making out and getting quite handsy with each other. Which then leads to a bunch of ITM’s from Juelia and other people defending her for how’s Joe’s treated her. Which is fine. We all know Joe was scum on this show. And yes, he absolutely played Juelia to get a rose knowing Samantha was showing up. We get that. But this whole argument of, “Don’t treat Juelia like that. She left her daughter to come to do this” makes me want to pull my hair out. She didn’t leave for war. She wasn’t drafted away to this show. She VOLUNTARILY decided to leave her daughter to do this show. For a second time. So yes, Joe treated her like dirt. But lets not confuse the two arguments. It’s not like because Juelia chose to leave her daughter a second time, Joe needs to treat her better. Joe should treat her better because he should treat all women better, not her because she left her daughter. Again. One of the most ridiculous arguments I’ve heard. Just stop it.

-Every person in this show’s history who has EVER left their child to come on this show – that’s on them. No one forced them to come on the show. No one. They voluntarily chose to leave their child at home to come on a reality TV show. Some more than once. They shouldn’t be treated any better or worse because of it. They should be treated just like everyone else. In no way am I defending Joe for what he did to Juelia, but the “I have a kid” argument holds no water here. And Juelia seems to have a really warped memory in saying that Joe took such an interest in her kid. I mentioned this last week, does she not remember Joe specifically asking her on their 1-on-1 date if she had a boy or a girl? So no, he wasn’t that interested in your child’s life and your backstory, or else he would’ve known that going in. I just have a feeling this is another case of someone out on the island falling waaaaaaay too quickly because of the circumstances, and not necessarily because they thought that person was gonna be their future spouse. You don’t even know this person. Juelia had one date with Joe before she was gushing. Granted, some of that may have had to do with the BS he was feeding her, but still, it’s one date. You don’t know someone after one date, yet so many of these girls are convinced they do. She got played, I do feel bad for her, but she’s gotta move on at that point.

-But of course, if people just moved on from conflict on this show then, well, there’d be no show. Producers obviously are telling Juelia and others, “Hey, Joe shouldn’t get away with this. You should go confront him.” So that’s exactly what Dan does. Dan is #TeamJuelia so he goes and gets Joe and brings him back to burn him at the stake while he, Jade, and Juelia grill him. Oh this is gonna go well. Joe admits to talking, texting, and having social media conversations with Samantha for a month before the show, but doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Which in and of itself, it isn’t. However genius, when the night before you’re telling Juelia you were there for the right reasons, stick your tongue down her throat to solidfy “see, now who do you think I’m here for,” then the next day go off with Samantha and ignore Juelia, you can kinda see why everyone is calling you out. Maybe producers told Joe to specifically not admit he played her because honestly, they wouldn’t have had an episode the last two nights. Outside of a little Dan/Ashley stuff and Kirk/Carly’s body slapping in the fantasy suite, Sunday and Monday was basically the Joe/Samantha/Juelia show rehashing the same thing over and over and over. If Joe would’ve just said the second Samantha arrived, “My plan worked. I needed to do whatever I could to gain Juelia’s trust to get a rose because I knew Sam was coming,” this thing would’ve been nipped in the bud. But that’s not good TV, so it didn’t happen. Sunday night’s show ended with Joe walking off as he felt like he didn’t need to explain himself to them, but of course, this storyline was far from over…

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  1. punk

    August 18, 2015 at 10:48 AM

    The only amusing thing about this show is seeing the reactions of people on social media who actually think it is all real. PUH-LEASE.

    This show is as scripted and/or controlled as any other reality TV show. The Producers tell the contestants what to do or say, who to confront and how to do it. Who to talk to and when, often what to talk about. The drama is 90% contrived, with the rest being legit by the dolts who get caught in their circumstance (hi Ashley I!).

    Joe played a role. And he had fun with it. Made for better ratings that he did. And he got the hot girl for a while as a result. And I think that the producers actually know this and worked it. Apparently, not enough people watched UnReal.

    The After show is still pretty awful. Jenny from Elan’s block sucks. She is a bag of flaming turds.

  2. rob22

    August 18, 2015 at 11:02 AM

    ….and one time, at band camp,…. It’s probably the terrible show, but that’s all I could think of while reading this recap. I could only manage 1 1/2 pages before giving up. The show is a dumpster fire, and not in a good gotta watch the train wreck way. So the recap is a snoozer. I recommend boiling yourself to death before I would recommend reading all 4 pages of this flaming pile.

  3. cjscjs711

    August 18, 2015 at 1:02 PM

    @rob22 I often agree with a lot that you say but strangely on this blog, I think it was one of his better! (Me being one of his regular critics, even!)

    You have to realize not everyone watches these shows with their undivided attention. I’ve usually got it playing in the background while I’m on another computer doing retouching. Or even in the kitchen. Or doing laundry. So a play-by-play actually fills in some gaps, and I like it when Steve brings up references to Twitter tweets, etc. because I honestly don’t have time to follow all these people on Twitter and the tabloids. At all. So hearing what they’re tweeting – especially after blowing away the chaff – I really appreciate.

    And I very often agree with Steve’s analyses, which I think he’s consistently better at than making fun – although he does come through with some real gems now and then.

    I disagree with Steve on the raccoon being insulting to audience intelligence. MAYBE there’s a VERY small percentage who believed she literally believed she was talking to a raccoon, just like there’s an equal possibility that a small percentage of people believe when they see Reggie Brown impersonating Barack Obama are fooled into thinking they’re actually seeing President Obama. You know – but you can’t cater to the lowest common denominator…..

  4. angelfish

    August 18, 2015 at 1:19 PM

    I watch the same way you do. One ear listening, one eye watching and a myriad of other things I need to do getting taken care of.

    And while I’m a big Steve fan and a defender, I tend to skim when he gets long-winded or into an area that doesn’t interest me. It’s all still fun for me, since I just don’t take anything related to this franchise too seriously.

  5. locondcoco

    August 18, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    I think Clare posted on Instagram last week, and in the caption, she said something like- “contrary to popular belief, BIP is not shot in real time”…haha. I cant believe people can be that stupid. but i guess i’m the one that’s stupid if i can’t believe it!

  6. caffeinequeen

    August 18, 2015 at 3:47 PM

    I’m with @cjscjs711 and @angelfish. I am usually doing several other things while halfway paying attention to this show. Sometimes the recaps are all I have time for… I mean two nights of this a week!?

    I don’t feel like my intelligence is being insulted by the BIP producers who keep at the same tired jokes. I’m just way past the point of thinking that watching Clare (supposedly) communicate with critters and watching Megan try to walk, talk, and think simultaneously is funny.

  7. flightgirl

    August 18, 2015 at 7:51 PM

    I don’t think Samantha is all that pretty. She looks much older than however old she is. This show forces people to “couple up” in order to stay in the “game” so the people on it should be aware of that obvious aspect. It would suck to be the person in a “relationship” who doesn’t want to be with the other person yet feels somehow “obligated” or pressured after just one date or because they were given a rose.

    Juila herself dumped Jonathan. As mentioned on that after show, she was warned by numerous people about Joe too. What comes around, goes around for all of them.

  8. hurricaneemily

    August 18, 2015 at 7:57 PM

    Great recap as always. I’m surprised that any of these relationships last, frankly. Samantha and Joe are a match forged in the fires of hell. Thanks for inspiring me to write about this franchise. Check out my week 3 recap:

  9. kimmyfromdablock

    August 19, 2015 at 7:16 AM

    My only comment is on Jenny Mollen’s hair and dress on the After show…….HORRENDOUS!!!!!!

  10. rob22

    August 19, 2015 at 8:52 AM

    I too only half listen & multi task. But as of today, because I end up falling asleep when I watch the show, I have only made it through the Sunday episode via DVR. I’m debating whether to even pull up Mondays & the after show sounds like a total abortion. I haven’t watched any of those yet. Thanks for the warnings BTW. RS & all of you have done a service to us by telling us how bad it is. I guess I shouldn’t blame RS for the rotten show that leaves me uninterested in the recap. He’s got a job to do & he can’t do anything about the POS quality of the show.

    BTW: Clare talking to the raccoon was REALLY, REALLY stupid. Whether the producers just thought it was funny or whether they thought people would believe it actually happened, it was an embarrassment. All I could think of was they were really desperate for material since they milked the whole Joe thing for such a tediously long time. And while Joe might be a tool (he is), he was just following the rules that they setup on the show. You have to pair up or you leave. So, what did they think was going to happen? The producers set it up to happen, it happened, then the producers setup some drama (who were those people btw?) to call out Joe on it. Contestants do the exact same thing on The Bachelor. They pretend to like the lead whether they like them or not. Otherwise the goodies dry up & they put you on a red-eye home. The incentives are clearly setup for people to do whatever they have to do to stay. So, predictably, that’s what they do.

  11. Cndgirl

    August 19, 2015 at 9:03 AM

    I love love love bip. It is my fav show in this franchise. Even though there still is producer driven drama and manipulation, I don’t think it’s nearly as much, as Joe showed all on his own, with minimal voice over and soliloquies. I actually find this show much more ‘real’ (or unreal) and you see behind the masks of these people more than you do in the Bach and ette shows. Especially the guys. Many a guy has been crush worthy on ette, but then they come on Bach pad or bip and we get to see who they really are. Remember Kovacs? He was a fav on Jillian’s season, and completely different on Bach pad. Sure, that had a money prize, but somehow I’m still finding the shows quite similar. I think it’s also because of a more even complement of men and women – not just everyone going after one person which can get kind of boring. I laugh and laugh all the way through Mon and Tues. 

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