Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise 2

“Bachelor in Paradise 2” Episode 3 Recap & An Update on the Relationships

-Last night began with, you guessed it, Juelia and Jade sitting Samantha down to warn her about what Joe did. Juelia is friends with Samantha much more than she knows Joe, and made it clear last night that she was closest to Samantha of all the girls, so she felt like she should warn her about him. This went over about as well as the proverbial turd in the punch bowl. Samantha didn’t care. She doesn’t want drama and felt like she didn’t need to be warned about Joe. When they cut away to her ITM’s, Samantha is easily three sheets to the wind. She’s blasted. Her eyes are completely glazed, and she keeps telling the camera that she is over it, doesn’t want the drama, and doesn’t understand why she’s being confronted by Juelia and Jade over the whole Joe stuff. As bad as Joe has been, Samantha’s actions have been worse. Juelia said as much on “After Paradise” and the audience even voted as such in the poll question last night. Hence the reason I asked it in today’s poll question to see who you think Juelia should feel more betrayed by. I think that’s easy. Samantha’s her friend, and she doesn’t know Joe. I’m not sure what Samantha’s thinking was in all of this, and her tweets during the show last night make it that much more confusing. Especially since things are about to get worse for her and not better once Nick Peterson shows up next week, since she was also talking to him before the show.

-Tanner fills us in on another little nugget about Joe and Samantha since he’s the ultimate “Bachelor” detective. Tanner should seriously join “CSI.” Or “Criminal Minds.” He knows everything about everything and is basically in the middle of it all. There’s always a spot at RealitySteve.com for Tanner. Come aboard. Join the dark side, my son. Together we can rule the reality TV world as father and son. Or brother and brother. Or two guys that don’t know each other. Whatever. Anyway, Tanner says that Joe even showed him a text before the show from Samantha that said, “Do whatever it takes to stay in Paradise.” Of course on the surface, that seems clear as day that they were in on it together. But Sam took to Instagram last night to defend what she meant by it:

SamInsta

Ok, now I’m just getting worn out by all this. I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time believing that one. So you’re talking to a guy for a month before the show on text and on the phone, and she drops the “do whatever it takes to get a rose” line on you, if I’m Joe I don’t think there’s much context to read there. For her to say now it was a “maybe we will meet” line seems like she’s grasping at straws. Not buying it. Joe didn’t take that out of context. Especially after we saw their “private” conversation last night.

-After Tanner and Jared confront Joe again about his lie, Samantha pushes them both out of the room then starts talking to Joe about their “plan.” Basically telling him that when she was in her ITM she told producers nothing and that they hadn’t talked (which we saw when they showed her saying, “There was no plotting or scheming). But Joe basically already ruined that since he’s told people they spoke for a month before the show, so there goes that argument. Look both of them knew what they did, and rather than admit it not to look bad, they tried to pretend it never happened, which in reality made everything worse. Remember, the cover up is almost always as bad as the crime and that’s exactly what happened to them. Watching these two have “private” convo about their diabolical plan to blow up the world was like watching the Wile E. Coyote trying to catch the road runner. Whatever they did, you knew it was going to fail. And it did. Miserably. The social media aspect of last night on Twitter didn’t do anything to help matters either.

-Hey guess what? We have a different couple to talk about. Ashley S. is back talking about Dan. Whew. We can get away from Joe & Samantha for 12 seconds. Outstanding. Ashley is upset Dan broke up with her last night, but she’s still hopeful they can continue their relationship and she’s gonna fight for him. There’s no one else that Dan has an interest in. Aaaaaannnd cue the next scene of Amber from Chris’ season arriving and Ashley S. is thrilled to see her. Like totes BFF’s. You know, that is until Amber immediately asks Dan out because she’s had a crush on him since Des’ season and lets him know about it. Hmmmmm, so if Amber from Chris’ season who no one remembers has a thing for Dan from Des’ season who no one remembers, is anyone supposed to care? Like they went out on a date, but did they REALLY go out on a date? It’s the tree falling in a forest theory. If no one sees/cares about it, did it actually happen? Damber had their date walking around town and Dan got to look up her skirt as they climbed some ladder. Again, but did they? If Lacey and Marcus are America’s Most Boring Couple, Dan & Amber might be America’s Most Invisible Couple. At least for a couple episodes. Yeah, lets move on.

-JJ’s date with Megan is on a yacht where basically the show objectifies Megan into a ditzy blonde with huge fake cans. And I say this because as JJ’s voiceover is is saying that Megan isn’t on his level intellectually, he’s very impressed by her two assets, to which the camera then pans in on in her bikini. But yeah, this show is about love. Sure it isn’t. Oh and a producer got Megan to say in an ITM, “This is the quickest I’ve ever been wet on a first date” after they jumped off the yacht into the water. Hilarious. You know, if these things are said organically maybe we could get a chuckle out of it, but when Megan is practically giggling the whole time she says the line, well, you know it was fed to her and she just went along with it. Further solidifying her as a producer puppet and someone who obviously has no idea how she’s making herself look on this show. Clueless.

-The show ended with once JJ came back from his date Tanner, of course, filled him in on what went down with Joe. Joe admitted to talking to Samantha for a month before the show, yet denied it to Jared’s face when asked about it right after Sam arrived. This is where Joe went to the “I thought you asked had I met her before, not talked before” card, which was a total fail. JJ got all up on Joe’s face, called him a liar, and it was pretty much more of the same. Joe still can’t fess up to what he did, then when he does admit he did talk to her before the show, he doesn’t see what the problem is, which is completely missing the boat on why everyone is so upset at him. Hey, for everything that has happened, and all the Twitter wars going on during the show last night, next week we’ll get our answers. Hopefully. BIP has been done filming for 2 months. Joe will now be able to speak live and not behind a computer about what he did on the show. If after two months, and all this evidence, he STILL doesn’t admit he played Juelia, then he’s truly a lost cause. If next week is anything other than, “I had fun on the show, unfortunately it was at Juelia’s expense, I apologize to how I handled things with her and I’m sorry,” then Joe doesn’t get it and never will.

-As for “After Paradise” last night, it was definitely the most interesting one they had because they were addressing the tweets that were happening during the show. What’s funny was having Jenny Mollen’s husband Jason Biggs on the show. Why is it funny? Well, maybe it’s more hypocritical since Chris Harrison went on this giant rant during Kaitlyn’s “Men Tell All” on cyber bullying, yet they bring on the guy who basically tweets some of the most vulgar, crass, cyber bullying tweets about contestants on this show that we’ve ever seen. Is it ever brought up? Of course not. Because Jason and Jenny are besties with Elan so of course it’s swept under the rug. Just go read his tweets. They’re brutal on basically everyone in the franchise and without a doubt are cyber bullying. And the show takes a big stand against cyber bullying. Unless it’s from one of their guests then they don’t mention it. Embarrassing.

-The tweet they referenced when they had Juelia on stage was this one:

The thing is it’s great if that’s how Samantha feels, but the fact that Juelia said she doesn’t talk to Sam and she’s not her friend anymore, apologizing over Twitter is ridiculous. If that’s how she really felt she would’ve contacted Juelia herself and told her. Sure doesn’t seem like she did so the tweet basically falls on deaf ears. If “After Paradise” already wasn’t bad enough, now the show has essentially just turned into an interactive Twitter war where now it’ll be a race to see who can live tweet something and get it read while the show is still airing. Jenny Mollen’s role in 3 weeks hasn’t changed. She reads other people’s tweets and tries to be edgy, but she’s much more entertaining on Twitter than TV. It’s not the right medium for her on that show and the crossover hasn’t worked.

-As for JJ, I know he’s coming across as this new “hero” after how he came across on Kaitlyn’s season, but his live appearance last night did him no favors. Yes, he was obviously having a lot of liquid courage but he acted like a complete cocky ass last night. Probably not the image he wanted to portray as the audience has seemingly turned to the good side for him. But then to say that Megan had a great rack, and also drop a f-bomb while he was up there, it was just a bit over the top. He’s trying too hard to have every line come out of his mouth be this perfect one liner and it completely failed last night. JJ, you had America on your side then you went and did that last night. Not good.

-As for next week, not only will we get Joe on “After Paradise,” but they will be announcing the next “Bachelor.” As you know it was reported by E! and this site over a month ago it will be Ben H. Not to mention US Weekly had it on their cover last week. But mark my words, because this show can’t stand being beat to the punch, they will absolutely make some sort of reference next week when Ben is up there about how “this was just finalized,” or, “we just signed the contract recently,” etc. Something to that effect as their way of pretending this wasn’t a done deal a month ago. It was. That’s why it was reported. Anytime I can make this show put its foot in its mouth, I love it. Next week will be one of those instances. All this nonsense over the last month with the “Will it be a two Ben season,” or “Nick is tweeting this, and Instagramming this, and talking about this” was all garbage. They wanted Ben, Ben wanted to be the “Bachelor,” and you will see that next week.

Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.

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11 Comments

11 Comments

  1. punk

    August 18, 2015 at 10:48 AM

    The only amusing thing about this show is seeing the reactions of people on social media who actually think it is all real. PUH-LEASE.

    This show is as scripted and/or controlled as any other reality TV show. The Producers tell the contestants what to do or say, who to confront and how to do it. Who to talk to and when, often what to talk about. The drama is 90% contrived, with the rest being legit by the dolts who get caught in their circumstance (hi Ashley I!).

    Joe played a role. And he had fun with it. Made for better ratings that he did. And he got the hot girl for a while as a result. And I think that the producers actually know this and worked it. Apparently, not enough people watched UnReal.

    The After show is still pretty awful. Jenny from Elan’s block sucks. She is a bag of flaming turds.

  2. rob22

    August 18, 2015 at 11:02 AM

    ….and one time, at band camp,…. It’s probably the terrible show, but that’s all I could think of while reading this recap. I could only manage 1 1/2 pages before giving up. The show is a dumpster fire, and not in a good gotta watch the train wreck way. So the recap is a snoozer. I recommend boiling yourself to death before I would recommend reading all 4 pages of this flaming pile.

  3. cjscjs711

    August 18, 2015 at 1:02 PM

    @rob22 I often agree with a lot that you say but strangely on this blog, I think it was one of his better! (Me being one of his regular critics, even!)

    You have to realize not everyone watches these shows with their undivided attention. I’ve usually got it playing in the background while I’m on another computer doing retouching. Or even in the kitchen. Or doing laundry. So a play-by-play actually fills in some gaps, and I like it when Steve brings up references to Twitter tweets, etc. because I honestly don’t have time to follow all these people on Twitter and the tabloids. At all. So hearing what they’re tweeting – especially after blowing away the chaff – I really appreciate.

    And I very often agree with Steve’s analyses, which I think he’s consistently better at than making fun – although he does come through with some real gems now and then.

    I disagree with Steve on the raccoon being insulting to audience intelligence. MAYBE there’s a VERY small percentage who believed she literally believed she was talking to a raccoon, just like there’s an equal possibility that a small percentage of people believe when they see Reggie Brown impersonating Barack Obama are fooled into thinking they’re actually seeing President Obama. You know – but you can’t cater to the lowest common denominator…..

  4. angelfish

    August 18, 2015 at 1:19 PM

    Cjs,
    I watch the same way you do. One ear listening, one eye watching and a myriad of other things I need to do getting taken care of.

    And while I’m a big Steve fan and a defender, I tend to skim when he gets long-winded or into an area that doesn’t interest me. It’s all still fun for me, since I just don’t take anything related to this franchise too seriously.

  5. locondcoco

    August 18, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    I think Clare posted on Instagram last week, and in the caption, she said something like- “contrary to popular belief, BIP is not shot in real time”…haha. I cant believe people can be that stupid. but i guess i’m the one that’s stupid if i can’t believe it!

  6. caffeinequeen

    August 18, 2015 at 3:47 PM

    I’m with @cjscjs711 and @angelfish. I am usually doing several other things while halfway paying attention to this show. Sometimes the recaps are all I have time for… I mean two nights of this a week!?

    I don’t feel like my intelligence is being insulted by the BIP producers who keep at the same tired jokes. I’m just way past the point of thinking that watching Clare (supposedly) communicate with critters and watching Megan try to walk, talk, and think simultaneously is funny.

  7. flightgirl

    August 18, 2015 at 7:51 PM

    I don’t think Samantha is all that pretty. She looks much older than however old she is. This show forces people to “couple up” in order to stay in the “game” so the people on it should be aware of that obvious aspect. It would suck to be the person in a “relationship” who doesn’t want to be with the other person yet feels somehow “obligated” or pressured after just one date or because they were given a rose.

    Juila herself dumped Jonathan. As mentioned on that after show, she was warned by numerous people about Joe too. What comes around, goes around for all of them.

  8. hurricaneemily

    August 18, 2015 at 7:57 PM

    Great recap as always. I’m surprised that any of these relationships last, frankly. Samantha and Joe are a match forged in the fires of hell. Thanks for inspiring me to write about this franchise. Check out my week 3 recap: http://cafeemily.com/bachelor-in-paradise-2015-week-3/

  9. kimmyfromdablock

    August 19, 2015 at 7:16 AM

    My only comment is on Jenny Mollen’s hair and dress on the After show…….HORRENDOUS!!!!!!

  10. rob22

    August 19, 2015 at 8:52 AM

    I too only half listen & multi task. But as of today, because I end up falling asleep when I watch the show, I have only made it through the Sunday episode via DVR. I’m debating whether to even pull up Mondays & the after show sounds like a total abortion. I haven’t watched any of those yet. Thanks for the warnings BTW. RS & all of you have done a service to us by telling us how bad it is. I guess I shouldn’t blame RS for the rotten show that leaves me uninterested in the recap. He’s got a job to do & he can’t do anything about the POS quality of the show.

    BTW: Clare talking to the raccoon was REALLY, REALLY stupid. Whether the producers just thought it was funny or whether they thought people would believe it actually happened, it was an embarrassment. All I could think of was they were really desperate for material since they milked the whole Joe thing for such a tediously long time. And while Joe might be a tool (he is), he was just following the rules that they setup on the show. You have to pair up or you leave. So, what did they think was going to happen? The producers set it up to happen, it happened, then the producers setup some drama (who were those people btw?) to call out Joe on it. Contestants do the exact same thing on The Bachelor. They pretend to like the lead whether they like them or not. Otherwise the goodies dry up & they put you on a red-eye home. The incentives are clearly setup for people to do whatever they have to do to stay. So, predictably, that’s what they do.

  11. Cndgirl

    August 19, 2015 at 9:03 AM

    I love love love bip. It is my fav show in this franchise. Even though there still is producer driven drama and manipulation, I don’t think it’s nearly as much, as Joe showed all on his own, with minimal voice over and soliloquies. I actually find this show much more ‘real’ (or unreal) and you see behind the masks of these people more than you do in the Bach and ette shows. Especially the guys. Many a guy has been crush worthy on ette, but then they come on Bach pad or bip and we get to see who they really are. Remember Kovacs? He was a fav on Jillian’s season, and completely different on Bach pad. Sure, that had a money prize, but somehow I’m still finding the shows quite similar. I think it’s also because of a more even complement of men and women – not just everyone going after one person which can get kind of boring. I laugh and laugh all the way through Mon and Tues. 

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