-At the cocktail party, Chris Harrison tells them there will be no cocktail party. The rose the guys give out that night will be to someone you want to commit to. Immediately Ashley I. eliminates herself because the only man in the world for her told her to kick rocks, so she leaves. The girl who believes in fairytales couldn’t get the guy she liked to believe in one with her so she’s out. She calls her sister Lauren while she’s in the car heading off for some reason. Don’t bother Lauren with your problems. I’m guessing she’s got guys of her own to deal with. Usually with girlfriends. How’s that situation coming along? Did she finally dump him? Did he dump her after watching her on TV? Does his gf know he was cheating on her with Lauren? These are questions we need some answers to.
-So as the rose ceremony starts, there are 7 roses for guys to give out with 11 girls. That’s if every guy gives out a rose, and of course as we know, they didn’t.
Kirk to Carly
Tanner to Jade
Nick to Samantha
Joshua to Tenley
Justin to Cassandra
Dan is up next and gives a speech to Ashley S. and Amber about how he enjoyed his time with them, but unfortunately it didn’t work out. He says he didn’t find love so he’s not giving out a rose and leaves. His rose goes to no one.
Mikey is the last one up, and even though we haven’t even seen him speak to Mackenzie let alone look in her direction, he asks if she’ll accept his rose. Mackenzie says no and leaves. Mikey then realizes there’s no else he’s interested in, so he leaves as well. Chris Bukowski might hold the record for most times appearing on “Bachelor” related programming, but Mikey no doubt holds the record now for most times being rejected on TV. Hell, just this season Clare, Juelia (when she backed up once he tried to kiss her) and Mackenzie all turned the guy down. And lets not forget last season when Mikey was supposed to be on BIP and was in a Mexican hotel for a week before they told him they didn’t need him anymore and sent him home. Yikes. Talk about a whipping boy for the show.
-Chris Harrison then tells the five remaining couples (Kirk/Carly, Tanner/Jade, Nick/Samantha, Justin/Cassandra, Joshua/Tenley that they will have one more date each that will then become an overnight date if they choose. It will be the final date of the season for each couple before the finale. Which brings us to Kirk and Carly…
Obviously a lot of you have shared your opinion with me whether it be publicly on Twitter or in an email to me so let me just lay out my thoughts on all this. Just like any opinion that anyone has about anything, I know a lot of you won’t agree with me and that’s fine. I’m not trying to convince you of my side of how I see it and you’re not going to convince me of your side of it. But I think some things that I see people saying to me are getting lost within the context of the show so I wanted to bring those up.
Kirk as we know is taking some heat on social media for breaking up with Carly. Lets first remember that breakups are not fun. No one likes breaking up with someone. They’re not easy and almost always uncomfortable. And there’s no such thing as an “amicable” breakup, unless both parties want out. In Kirk’s case, we obviously know that wasn’t what the situation was. When a couple breaks up, and one doesn’t want to, it’s never going to end well. Ever. So when Kirk the next morning decides to tell Carly that he wants to end things, she responds accordingly with a lot of “I don’t want to hear this…I hate you…don’t touch me.” Basically over and over and over again. She doesn’t want to hear anything and just wants him to leave. I had a few of you tell me his mistake was not leaving her alone and continuing to want to talk. I disagree with that. Kirk (and any guy for that matter) is in a no-win situation at that point. If the very first time Carly said, “Don’t talk to me, go away, I can’t hear this right now” Kirk responded with, “Ok,” then packed up and left Mexico, you would’ve called him a jerk for not explaining himself. But when he tries to explain himself, he’s a jerk for not leaving her alone when she told him to. He can’t win in that situation because ultimately, the end result of that conversation is, “We’re breaking up.”
Nothing Kirk says in that moment is going to make Carly feel any better. Nothing. Not to get too personal, but I went through this same exact thing earlier this year. I broke up with someone who didn’t want to break up. And we would have conversation after conversation that basically went nowhere, because no matter what was said, the end result was that we were done. So any question she asked me, or anything I said, no matter what it was, wasn’t going to sit well with her. I even said it numerous times during the breakup that nothing I say is gonna make her feel better because the end result is we’re done. And that’s all she focused on. Carly was no different. She didn’t want to be broken up with, wasn’t expecting to be broken up with, and now it was happening all at once and to say she handled herself poorly would be an understatement. I’m sure there are plenty of women backing Carly saying she had every reason to be upset. Sure, she could be upset. Most people are when they get dumped. But her reaction was a bit over the top. Remember, Carly has said in the past she hasn’t had the greatest of luck with guys so I think that, coupled with this was being televised and essentially she felt embarrassed, probably led to the reaction we saw. Doesn’t make it right, but I’m sure it played a role.
Then the issue becomes “Why didn’t he tell her sooner?” Here’s where the grey area lies. We’ve all been in relationships. And I’m sure most, if not all of us, have been on both ends at some point. Either the one doing the breaking up, or the one who was dumped. If you’re the one who’s breaking up with someone, did you tell them you were breaking up the very first time you had a thought in your head that maybe this wasn’t working out? Of course not. We’ve all been there. Whether you’re dating for a couple months or a couple years, if at the very first thought someone expressed doubt in their relationship they ended it or brought it up, most couples wouldn’t be together. But of course during that time of that thought crossing your head and when the time actually came to break up, you probably did see that person and date. And probably had sex. Kirk even specifically used the phrase he was “going through the motions” towards the end. Of course he was. We ALL have. You’re telling me Kirk is the only person in the world who was questioning a relationship he had with someone, yet during talks with them he didn’t make it known he was having doubts? Of course not. I don’t think he was lying. He was just trying to figure out exactly where they were. We’ve all done it. You have to go through the motions at some point because you’re determining, is this just a phase I’m going through, or do I really not want to be in this? You still enjoy the person’s company, you still have fun when you’re with them, but you’re figuring it out what it means to you. So when you’re with them, you’re not going to bring up every single doubt the first time it comes to your head. No way.
Now, you also have to factor in to the equation the fact that these two COULDN’T NOT see each other. They were on an island together. I’m sure if this were actually, you know, real life then he would’ve had a conversation with her on the phone expressing his doubts. But when you’re in that environment and you can’t not be away from the person you’re dating, everything is going 100 miles an hour and it’s magnified. So yeah, when she asked him about attending Zak’s wedding reception, in the moment he says he’ll do it and looks forward to it and I totally understand why he said that. This show isn’t normal. This isn’t a normal courtship that happens with 99% of couples in America. If that conversation doesn’t happen on a rock overlooking the ocean with a rose ceremony about to happen, I’m pretty sure his answer would’ve been different. Not to mention there’s a whole lot going on behind the scenes that we don’t know about in terms of conversations, the questions being asked of contestants in ITM’s, etc. I don’t know this for a fact, but knowing how this show is, I guarantee you that Kirk wanted to express doubt to Carly much earlier than he did and the show wouldn’t let him.