Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise 2

The Final “Reader Emails” and “Dr. Reality Steve” of the Calendar Year (Sniff, Sniff…)

“And now, the end is near….” Yes ladies and gentleman, that’s correct. Your final “Reader Emails” and “Dr. Reality Steve” of the calendar year. Your next one won’t appear until the week the “Bachelor” begins airing, which is January 4th. Of course they’ll be plenty going on in the meantime on this site as “Daily Links” starts up next Tuesday and will be basically every day, along with spoiling the “Bachelor” in real time once it begins filming on Sept. 24th. Sure you can still send in emails about whatever and even Dr. Reality Steve stuff, but I’d just answer it personally rather than putting it on the site. And tonight is your last live video chat until the new year as well, so lets make it a good one with a bunch of wonderful questions that haven’t been answered 732 times already. One can only hope. It’s been quite a run this year as outside of taking all of April off and the first couple weeks of May while the “Bachelorette” filmed, you’ve basically gotten 3 columns a week for 8 months. This is my “relaxing” time even though I’ll still be writing every day with your links and “Bachelor” spoilers. This is my fun time. Always my favorite part of the season is when it’s being filmed versus when it actually airs. So keep it here for all your “Bachelor” spoilers through November.

Carly has come out with a mini interview she did with Ali to share the “real reason” Kirk ended it with her – another woman. You can read that interview right here. Could it be a cop out on Kirk’s part? Possibly. I have no idea if he’s back with his ex or not. But since Ali just posted that, figured you’d want to read it.

And speaking of Ali, it reminded me of her season and one of the more awkward moments in show history. Who can forget Kasey singing to Ali on their 1-on-1 date in NY. “When I was flying…in the helicopter…”

Now obviously the way the editors played with that, Ali’s reaction faces and smiles don’t match up with how it all went down, but still, the singing was laugh out loud hilarious. And if you thought Kasey was done (as did I), you don’t remember him singing to Vienna on “Bachelor Pad 2” after he gave her a promise. Singing begins at the 7:33 mark. It’s just as awesomely bad as the first time:

I say we went out with a bang today. Try getting that helicopter song out of your head today. You’re welcome. On to “Reader Emails” and “Dr. Reality Steve”…

Hi Steve,

Just to agree with the chorus of well wishers, thanks for your awesome blog, recaps and weekly call ins. You make the whole Bachelor franchise so much more fun to watch.

I was thinking during my Bachelor franchise downtime to check out some of the international versions of the show such as Bachelor Australia which is currently showing or Bachelor Canada. Do you know how or if people in the US can access these episodes?

Comment: I have no idea. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

Hi Steve!

I have always enjoyed your website…you make watching this franchise all the more fun. My question is about hometown dates…do all 4 of the remaining contestants travel to each other’s hometowns? Or do they just hang out in their hometown before and after? Maybe they stay at the Bachelor mansion?
I don’t know why, but this question has plagued me for years and I would love to know the answer.


Comment: None of those. They are isolated in an LA hotel with only their handler. When it’s their turn for a hometown, they fly in the night before, stay at a hotel, meet the lead the next day, when the date is over, they go back to the hotel in their hometown and fly out the next morning back to the LA hotel they were staying in and wait til the the rose ceremony. They do not see their family until they walk in the door with the lead.

So glad to see that Kaitlyn wasn’t chosen for DWTS! I know that both she and Shawn seemed to be angling for her to get a spot. Once it became clear she wasn’t going to get it, she claimed scheduling conflicts. Do really believe that or do you think that is just a face saving maneuver. With as much as she seems to be trying to sell everything on earth, the potential of a minimum 125k would have her crawling over anyone or anything be on the show. Your thoughts?

Comment: I think she was going to be on it and something happened. I don’t know what.

Hey Steve –

I saw that someone asked what Kaitlyn’s “career” (I use that term lightly) was.

She used to be a server here in Vancouver. Not sure the veracity of the dance instructor story or anything, but used to serve at one of the nicer (that means shorter skirts) chain restaurants in the area.

Comment: Ahhhh, a breastaurant so to speak. Except with more emphasis on what they wear from the waist down. Although, I’m guessing they didn’t have a sweater on.

Hi Steve,

I just saw a reader e-mail about the cast’s body language at the very end of After Paradise. I noticed that, too. I especially noticed that at one point Ashley and Jared were looking at each other, but Ashley immediately turned away and started talking to someone else. So clearly she felt awkward around Jared. And clearly they aren’t the ones who got engaged if they didn’t even want to talk to each other! Although we already knew from your spoilers that they didn’t get engaged.

You mentioned that some cast members get paid a flat fee, some per episode, some per day. How do they decide who to pay in which arrangement? I think returnees get a flat rate and those who are new get paid per episode or per day. I’m not totally sure, but I think that’s how it is.

Also, you’ve mentioned before that The Bachelor/The Bachelorette leads get paid to be on the show, but the contestants don’t get paid. One of my friends told me there’s a law that anyone appearing on TV has to get paid, which would mean contestants would have to be paid. Is my friend wrong?

Comment: Yes. Contestants on the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” don’t get paid. There definitely isn’t a law that says you have to either. Plenty of people who appear on TV don’t get paid. Especially in the reality TV world.

Hi Steve

Love reading your blog and you always have me laughing out loud uncontrollably within the span of a few paragraphs. In fact, the time you post your Bach in Paradise recap is around midnight where I am from in Australia but I actually stay up late refreshing your page waiting to read your post lol… die hard fan or what? I hope that makes you happy 🙂

So my questions for today that I have accumulated are:

1. What is your honest opinion on Ashley I and would you ever date her in real life? Do you think Jared is attracted to her but weirded out by her personality or is he not even attracted to her? Also did they have sex or not? lol. I think she’s emotionally immature and I could never date her. I’m sure Jared finds her attractive but has no interest in her in a relationship way. And no, they didn’t.

2. When you get information from your informants, do you pay them? Like I’m wondering what is in it for them to cooperate with you and give you all this info? And how do you know for sure everytime if it is accurate info or not? No. People like telling me stuff. Obviously I haven’t been right every time, but I’d say it’s been about 90-95%. So I guess I just kinda know.

3. So Claire. I don’t get why she is single. She is the most drop dead gorgeous girl but okay maybe a bit crazy. Would she ever be a candidate for bach’ette? No.

4. How funny was it on After Paradise when Kris Jenner called in and gave some fake sob story about why she couldn’t make it on the show and Chris Harrison looked bored to death and just wanted to get on with the rest of the show? Newsflash Kardashians…. world does NOT revolve around you ffs. The problem is, the media caters to them so they think it does.

5. Did you send Marcus and Lacey a gift for getting married? Also what gifts have you given each bachelor married couple really curious. No. I only send gifts from couples that come from the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette” series. I don’t talk about the gifts I buy. If the couples themselves want to, that’s fine. But I just don’t feel it’s anyone’s business.

6. Weird question – how tall are you and do you prefer tall or short girls? I’m 6’2”. I have no preference.

7. How come you judge Jade so harshly on her playboy past? Thought most guys wouldn’t care about this in this day and age right. There are plenty of guys that would. Jade can do whatever she wants. But when she does something like that, then goes on a reality show, she’s going to get judged for it. If you don’t want to be judged for it, don’t do it.

8. Who would make up your dream line up of contestants on Bach in Paradise? You get to choose up to 6 guys and 6 girls! I don’t have one to be honest. I really truly don’t care who appears on these shows. Just as long as there is a show, I’m fine.

9. Do you post all of the emails that are sent to you or do you pick a select few only that get featured in your reader emails? I post pretty much all of them. I try to eliminate emails that have repeat questions, but sometimes they slip in.

10. Final question – what is this secret bachelor facebook group I have heard being mentioned before. What is it and what does it entail and what happens from it? Just a way for people who are just off the show to connect with others that are on it.

Thank you

Hi Steve

Love your site and spoilers, keep up the great work.

I’m from Vancouver and during Chris’ season of the Bachelor, Kaitlyn’s Instagram had a photo of her outside the English Bay location of the Cactus Club Cafe, a local chain restaurant here, her caption saying something like “hello from your friendly Cactus Club team”, so i think she was a hostess there. (I just checked, it’s still on her site at 52 weeks ago). Also, during Chris’ season, my boyfriend was at the Broadway/Ash Street Cactus Club location and said he saw her there, as a patron sitting at the bar, but was socializing with the staff like they all knew each other and were friends. He didn’t say hi since he’s not into the show.

Then, during Kaitlyn’s season of the Bachelorette, I was at the Broadway/Ash Street location and I asked my waitress if Kaitlyn has been by recently, the waitress said no, but that she was new and didn’t know Kaitlyn personally. I asked if she thinks Kaitlyn would come back to work at Cactus club when the show is over, and the waitress said she doubted it given her new found fame, I agreed, and suggested she’ll probably start a blog.

Anyway, there you have it, Kaitlyn’s job was a hostess (or some similar capacity) at Cactus Club Cafe. I think her claiming to be a dancer/dance instructor just sounded better on tv than to admit she was a hostess at a cactus club. Hope this helps!

Also, can you give us some insight as to why the contestants seem to love their producers so much? Even if they’re given a bad edit they seem to still post photos on instagram with themselves and Elan Gale or other producers? Wouldn’t the contestants be upset at the bad edit and how the producers manipulated them into saying phrases or words to be edited into something unintended?

Thanks a lot!

Comment: Producers aren’t editors. Producers just do the ITM’s, then the tapes are sent back to LA and an editing team creates the storyline. Sure, producers will tell them kinda who says what and maybe a direction to go in, but the editors are the ones that splice and dice everything to make situations completely different than how they were.

When Chris’ season started I was so sure he was a genuine guy who just wanted a little fun and to meet a girl. I did not believe it when people said he was fame hungry and not sincere. But sure enough, what do I see when reading Food magazine tonight? Chris is on yet another show.

Why oh why do I get fooled by these people? I have been reading your site for years (and love every spoiler, thank-you!) and yet here I am still holding onto hope that your sources might have been wrong. What exactly did you hear about Chris? Just curious now. Oh and that reminds me. Why do you say Britt won’t join the season? I would have guessed she would have wanted the exposure.

Thanks for your thoughts!

Comment: Not sure why you keep getting fooled. Especially if you read this site as much as you say you do. All I can do is keep telling people over and over and over again how a majority of these contestants get changed by the show, and not in a good way. It’s your choice to listen or not.

Hey RS!

Been a big fan of your website for a while now (Always lurking and reading ahead!)

My husband thinks I spoil it for myself by seeing who wins but I love knowing who it will be! Makes it more interesting for me!

Anyway my reason for emailing you is, I watch all bachelor/bachelorettes from USA, UK and Aus. Right now the third season of the Bachelor in Aus is running. There is a HUGE favourite among the girls but a lot of us fans feel like the producers are leading us down the garden path with their editing. They are showing an amazing love story between Sam (The Bach) and Heather and 11 weeks into the show they have brought in intruders and they are making us think one of the intruders has already won his heart (after 1 week).

Now I know you probably don’t have any insider info being that it’s a whole different team of people and I’m guessing your sources deal only with the USA franchise. BUT if you do happen to have any info there are a lot of fans out there that are dying to figure out who has won! There is a whole sleuthing site dedicated to dissecting the screen shots, pictures, social media happenings, interviews and anything else relevant. So as a RS fan please could you give us something if you DO happen to have any aussie contacts (Pretty please)!!!

Thanks for taking the time to read

Comment: No idea. Never watched it. Never plan to watch. No idea how I even can watch it. And I’ve never had any other spoilers for any other show in the history of this site.

That probably answers your question.

Hey Steve,

First of all, I think it’s pretty cool that you’ve created a full time job off what started as email recaps for friends. Pretty crazy that your job could not have existed 10-15 years ago, just a testimony to the age of technology and your ingenuity I guess. It’s also clear that you’re a great uncle to your niece and nephew which is really cute.

Anyway, this is my question that I’ve been thinking about for a bit. I don’t understand why contestants talk about producers like they are their friends. Leads, sure I get that. They get a lot special attention etc. But Ashley I. tweeted the other day referencing a producer as her “best friend.” Maybe I’ve been watching too much Unreal, but do the contestants not realize that the producers exist to exploit contestants for ratings? And that their “friendship” is really only because of the show? Or do people know that and this is this just therefore a case of Ashley I. being delusional? Ha ha, I swear questions get asked in two’s. We have another one coming up later in the column. But yeah, scroll back a couple questions and you’ll see the answer to this.

I’m a full time student who deals with lab data and equations all day, so the Bachelor Franchise ( but actually the messed up behind the scenes world that is producing the show shown on our screens) is my guilty pleasure.

Dear Steve,

Are we really supposed to believe that the couples that have been “shipped” since the start (Tanner/Jade, Carly/Kirk & Tenley/Joshua) haven’t hooked up this whole time until this final fantasy suite date is offered to the final couples? They are all grown-ups and what the heck else was there to do in this place while they waited this thing out? What’s the story Steve? You know all…

Comment: I’m not sure what you’re asking. I never took it that the show implied these couples were getting their first night together.


I’ve been watching the show for years and I have one question that I don’t think has ever been asked or answered unless I haven’t seen or heard someone answer it yet.

Is every person that goes on the show rich?

I know that you don’t know these people personally for the most part, but I just don’t get how they ALL travel all over the place. Whenever I go on there Instagram’s, Facebook, twitter, they are always traveling and hanging out with each other. It seems like none of contestants have real jobs and don’t live normal lives once they get on the show. Do they get paid for going on there? Do they get better jobs once they get on the show because they become famous? I just don’t get it. I know it’s really none of my business, he just has me curious. If you could email me back, I would love to hear your answer on it. I just find it incredible once I get to see these guys on TV and then fold them on social media, they literally do whatever they want. For example, Nick Viall supposedly works for salesforce. I looked online to see how much his job title gets paid. Average salary is 74,000 but then I go on his social media and the guy has to spend that in less than a month the way he lives. I just don’t get it! Lol would love to hear from you soon!!


Comment: There’s too many different people to cover because everyone’s different with different jobs. No, everyone is not rich. Probably closer to the opposite. As for how they get so much time off work. Well, they aren’t CEO’s making their own schedule, that’s for sure. You’d have to ask each individual employer because there’s not one answer that covers all of them.

It is CLEARLY obvious NOW that Kirk used Carly to vacation FREE in Mexico. There is no other conclusion you can draw from Kirk breaking up with Carly on the almost VERY last opportunity of this BIP show. This is something a man or woman might do in a heart beat if they thought it would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for them. That’s just another potential motive the contestants have to be constantly and acutely aware of in the people their dating. Kirk was BY FAR the WORST villain this season in BIP. Great twist. Great show. No, I don’t feel bad for Carly. She’ll be ok. Carly treated both Britt and Samantha horribly and tried everything she could to sabotage their potential relationships. Hopefully after all this, she’ll learn kindness toward others.

Comment: Couldn’t disagree more as evidenced by what I wrote yesterday.

Hi Steve,

Do you think that UnReal might sometime introduce a character on the show based on you? Would love to see that!


Comment: I don’t think they would. I’ve always said I’d be flattered if they did, but I doubt it. The more I think about it, it really wouldn’t make sense just because UnREAL isn’t really about “Everlasting” and the dates and who’s gonna win, like the “Bachelor/ette.” It’s about the behind the scenes workings, so I don’t see how a spoiler would fit into a storyline. Or at least one that fits with that show.

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  1. cjscjs711

    September 9, 2015 at 10:46 AM

    On who was the Nick from Chicago caller – look on Carly’s Twitter page. Nick Pennebaker from Chicago. They banter back and forth. If it were Nick Viall, I’m sure both he and the Franchise would have gotten a whole lot more mileage out of the call by identifying him.

  2. jessicat

    September 9, 2015 at 11:44 AM

    I completely agree with what most people have said here about Carly. It didn’t seem like Kirk was all that into her. She was so arrogant about being one of the “power couples” and loved it when other people broke up. Kirk was in a lose-lose situation, and any time he chose to break up with her was going to be the wrong time.

  3. rob22

    September 9, 2015 at 12:50 PM

    As far as the “cheater” email, I realize a lot of people cheat. Millions of people signed up for Ashley Madison…. to their detriment with the release of everyone’s name. Even in nice neighborhoods, there’s lot of married people on the prowl.

    I realize that people also often/usually try to justify their actions & rationalize that what they’re doing is in some way OK.

    But…. seriously…. you choose to cheat with a married guy & justify it by saying, “Hey I’m single, he’s married, so he’s cheating, not me” . Really? Look, if he’s a cheater, then he’s going to cheat. That’s on him. But if you participate, you’re part of it. Let some other stupid woman be the one who participates in the breakup of a family. And yes, that’s what you’re doing. No rationalizations allowed.

    And, even from a totally selfish perspective, don’t you want something better than being some guy’s mistress on the side? Or, something better than some one night fling with a guy stepping out on his wife that cares nothing about you except how you look naked and how willing you are to spread your legs?

    Have a little self respect. Stuff happens. People go out to bars and make mistakes. But learn from them and move on. Don’t rationalize them and continue to make them worse…. and make them become part of who you are. Hopefully you’re better than that.

  4. kinbville

    September 10, 2015 at 9:16 AM

    Amen and well said to Rob22 above.

  5. valadega

    September 10, 2015 at 9:46 AM

    So if a guy tells you that you are wonderful and wants to meet your family, you are to translate that to mean he really isn’t into you? Why oh why do women blame other women when men treat their “sister/friends” badly?

  6. shouldbeworking

    September 10, 2015 at 11:01 AM

    On another topic, what does everyone think of Trump? Does he seriously have a shot at becoming President? Even though American politics are not followed by the majority of us Canadians, it is still interesting to hear what people have to say about him. He’s like a bull in a china shop to me.

  7. vessel

    September 10, 2015 at 12:35 PM

    To the person seeking other countries iterations of the Bachelor PLEASE don’t waste time on the low budget garbage that was the Bachelor Canada. Yikes, talk about the red headed step child of the American Bachelor. Tremendously embarrassing, and I sincerely hope that after the second season that aired last Fall they realized they just cannot compete.

  8. kimmyfromdablock

    September 10, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    Carly has completely lost me now. At one time, I found her to be someone who was mildly entertaining and relatable. The Kirk breakup saga really turned me off. Just unfollowed her and Jade on Twitter. In my book, their 15 minutes has expired.

  9. cpak258

    September 11, 2015 at 6:01 AM

    To the girl talking about cheating… a few years ago, I was in a similar situation. The guy I hooked up with wasn’t married, but in a serious relationship. At the same time, my friend hooked up with a married guy. We only old each other but used the same justification “he’s married/taken, not us, he’s the cheater..” Plus, being single, we just liked the attention whether the guy was married or single (we were 24/25 at the time). Fast forward 6 years and we are both in a serious relationship/married (with different guys obviously) and looking back at it, we both say those flings were our biggest regret. No, we weren’t the cheaters, but we might as well have been. We knew full on that those guys were married/in a relationship and that makes us just as bad, in my opinion. You may not see it now (we didn’t see it then), but when you are in a relationship/married some day, you will realize how much you hate the type of girl you used to be.

    People cheat, it happens. We’ve all (of at least most people i know), have gotten drunk at a bar a did something stupid. But at the end of the day, we all deserve someone who wants to actually be with us, and not to be a side piece when their wife is out of town. So my advise is to delete his number, tell you friend to do the same… trust me… he wont leave his wife and its not worth wasting your time.

  10. rob22

    September 11, 2015 at 6:45 AM

    cpak258: well said. I too commented on the “mistakes in bars” scenario. There are definitely a few incidents I’d like to have back that were fueled by cheap drinks at Happy Hour.

    But the next morning you’re supposed to say OMG!!! What the hell did I do?!! And move on with an embarrassing stain on your reputation… which your friends forgive because they’ve done the same or worse at other times. I can’t understand taking a bar incident & wanting to continue with it. It makes no sense.

    To carry through your final paragraph. You are right that most guys are pretty calculating. They try to give the mistress just enough to keep them in the game without actually leaving their spouse (or ever really seriously considering it). A horrible game to be sure. But, let’s say he does leave his wife & marries the mistress. What does the mistress now have? A guy who’s been lying to his prior wife & cheating on her. How do you think you’re now going to be treated?

    Oh, you think you’ll be treated better because it was all about the former wife being a crazy shrew? Think again. Now you’re the crazy shrew to a guy who’s likely to cheat on you. Everything he said to you, he’s now saying to someone else he met in a bar. You’ll find exceptions. But every guy I know who’s a cheater is cheating because that’s who they are. They’re not cheating because of the wife. Of course the wife has flaws. (Find one person out there that doesn’t have a few things about them that are pretty annoying). They might travel for business (maybe not) and like to go out for a few drinks. If something is available in the female department, then they take it. If the girl is naive enough to give him regular access, then he takes her as a mistress (some do stick to one nights, fairly anonymous, never see them again type encounters).

    Guys who don’t cheat operate entirely differently. They don’t put themselves in cheating situations. They don’t go out to bars regularly. Maybe a once in a while for a guys night out, but nothing very regular. If they travel, they are far more likely to just hang in the room & watch TV. Maybe a work dinner here and there, or a beer, on occasion, with a colleague in the hotel bar, but they’re not hitting the bars every night. Watch what they do. They’ll tell you who they are. Guys cheat because they are cheaters, not because of their circumstances. Guys who don’t cheat, are just not cheaters. They don’t blur lines & stumble into affairs. They avoid putting themselves into bad situations. They don’t thrive on “excitement” and drama. They avoid it. That’s just not who they are. It’s honestly not that hard to tell which they are if you’re not rationalizing away to justify what’s happening.

  11. rob22

    September 11, 2015 at 6:54 AM

    “So if a guy tells you that you are wonderful and wants to meet your family, you are to translate that to mean he really isn’t into you?” (from above)

    In real life, you’re right. In a 3-week reality show hook-up adventure with people who have incentive to pair up with a girl to stay on the show, keep their mugs on TV and keep the party rolling as long as possible…. you just can’t have the blinders on and pretend that you have a real relationship.

    In the real world, if someone started talking about having children and meeting one anothers family after less than three weeks, the correct reaction is to look at them like they’re a little crazy and take a couple of steps back. That’s just way too soon for those types of conversations. On BIP, the reaction should be extreme skepticism. But, people are in a bubble, so they believe all kinds of crazy things, I guess.

  12. valadega

    September 11, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    If the guy just wants to stay on the show, is it her fault? I heard it really was another woman he

  13. valadega

    September 11, 2015 at 12:55 PM


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