Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise 2

The Final “Reader Emails” and “Dr. Reality Steve” of the Calendar Year (Sniff, Sniff…)


Congrats on another spoiled season!

Seeing how I’m a Nick Viall fan (I know, I know), I couldn’t help but notice that the “Nick from Chicago” that called in on “After Paradise” sounded and spoke like Nick Viall. He even invited Carly to come have drinks with him in Chicago. I’m a fan but not blind to his ways with the women on this franchise so I can’t say I’m surprised. Just curious if you caught that?! I heard the call but don’t know if that was him.

Also, have you heard of any other hookups or anything with any cast members since BIP? I do see through social media a lot of different people hanging out but I know that doesn’t mean much.


Comment: Nope. Haven’t heard anything that I haven’t already reported.

Hey RS,

Just wanted to congratulate you on yet another successfully spoiled season!

Although I don’t remember too much what happened in the first season of BIP (it was over a year ago). But I seem to recall being more interested than I was this season. Like you said they only showed us a couple minutes of each date and focused way too much on what drama was going on at the house….. this show is supposed to be about love right??? LOL

Maybe it was the 2 nights back to back that I found hard to find time to watch and when I got it On Demand I didn’t even bother with After Paradise.

Thanks for the great recaps!

Looking forward to your spoilers for Ben’s season! 🙂

Comment: I definitely think this season had more drama, but it was overkill with 2 nights with an after show. That’s too much for a summer show they don’t really care about. Sunday nights are not this show’s bread and butter. Hence the reason Monday night’s show outdrew Sunday in viewers and rating every week.

Hi Steve,

So, I watched the finale of Bachelor in Paradise, and After Paradise, and I just have some thoughts (and one semi-question).

How is it that people are feeling sorry for Carly here? I don’t get it. One, she’s been the mean girl for two seasons now, talking sh*t about every other girl in the house in a large majority of her ITMs, cackled with glee when Britt got dumped, and was annoyingly smug about her superior relationship with Kirk. She gloated every time someone else’s relationship went kaput, but when hers did, it was this Greek effing tragedy. Pretty much. I don’t get it either.

Two, did no one notice how INSANE she was about their “relationship”? Dude — they’d been together for all of three weeks, and she’s sitting there talking about HAVING HIS BABIES. Then you add in her writing songs about him, and inviting him to her brother’s wedding reception, and just… wow. I’m a girl, and even I was cringing in embarrassment for her. I understand that they spent practically every moment of every day of those three weeks together, but holy crap woman. Calm the eff down. That would scare ANY normal guy away. And I know that on After Paradise she was talking about how she meant having kids in five years, but that doesn’t matter. You still brought up having babies with a guy you’ve only known for three weeks!! Agree again.

Also, I don’t know if it was just me, but I honestly wondered if Kirk was full-on trying to break up with her, or if he just wanted to slow things down. It was a little hard to tell, because the minute he started to say something negative, she went psychotic, and at that point, he didn’t have a choice but to completely end it. I don’t doubt that Kirk didn’t want to hurt her, but I also think that he must have been breathing a sigh of relief about dodging that bullet. And when exactly is a person supposed to let someone know that they’re considering breaking up with them? What do they say? “Hey, I’m thinking about breaking up with you, but I’m not really sure, and I’ll let you know when I figure it out, but in the meantime, just hang out and wait for me to tell you”? Exactly my point from yesterday. You’re always gonna hold it in and see how things are going before jumping the first opportunity to bring it up.

Finally, I can’t help but notice that Carly is trying to make herself into the next Taylor Swift. It makes me wonder if this entire thing was planned just to promote her career. I heard she moved to Nashville, she made sure to sing several times on the show, she released her poor, pitiful me song for everyone to hear. I know she couldn’t have planned the breakup, but at the same time… she sure is milking this for all its worth. Any knowledge on that?

Comment: Other than knowing she moved to Nashville, I have no idea what her career aspirations are or if this was planned in advance. I’m sure she moved to Nashville to get involved in music. Not sure how it’ll all play out though.

Hi Steve,

Just a comment, I think it’s ironic that everybody is feeling super bad for Carly being dumped by Kirk but do people forget how mean she was on Chris’s season? Wasn’t she mocking Britt and saying in her ITM how much she “enjoyed watching her squirm” right before she was sent packing by Chris? People are quick to forget how mean she was and now she’s being played out as a total victim. Also, I totally agree with your perspective on the whole Kirk and Carly breakup. The guy was damned if he did, damned if he didn’t.

Can’t wait for your commentary on Ben’s season. It’s so weird that I’ve been watching the Bachelor since Travis Stork (remember him?!) was the bachelor and I was in high school and now there’s a Bachelor my age.

Comment: See? Told you things come in two’s. Back to back emails about Carly’s performance on Chris’ season.

Hi Steve,

I don’t have a question; just a comment. It’s almost ridiculous how much I agree with you on the whole Carly/Kirk, Tenley/Josh thing. If you think about it, and as much as I think Tenley is sweet, what she did was worse than what Kirk did! For example; at least Kirk knew it wasn’t going anywhere, and broke up with her before the overnight date. Tenley waited until absolutely the last second-even though she knew Joshua was completely into her. Tanner said Kirk waited until the “11th hour”. No actually, Tenley agreed to an overnight date, and only broke up with him at the final rose ceremony. I would say THAT was the “11th hour”. She knew from the second she met him he lives in Idaho. Kirk, on the other hand, truly looked torn about having to break up with her. I did feel bad for Carly, she was really heartbroken, but maybe Joshua was just as heartbroken, but chose not to flip out. So, yeah-I totally agree with your thoughts on the whole situation.

Looking forward to daily links and Bach recaps in January!

Comment: You get a scratch and sniff sticker for agreeing with me.

Seriously. What was the point of sean and Catherine being on after paradise? They added nothing. Which is what they bring to every day life. Get used to it. As long as they’re together, they will continuously make appearances on this show.

Also, what are your thoughts on where Sam ranks on the crazy scale? She has to be to jack with these men so much. And let’s get real she is way out of Nicks league and will chew him up and spit him out in no time.

Comment: She never came across as crazy to me. I think she was kinda naïve to the whole process and had no idea what she was doing.


Sorry if this has already been iterated, but after watching the “first date” between Nick & Samantha I now understand why she treats men like garbage. Samantha asked Nick point blank, “why did you pursue me?” And all he could say by way of an answer was, “you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Yeah, don’t get me wrong, every girl likes to be told they are beautiful. But if dudes are saying that all the time about you, it begins to sound like you’re just some trophy to be won. If a suitor couldn’t come up with one redeeming quality about me besides my looks, then you’re going into the rubbish bin too.
Thanks for giving me a soapbox. Keep up the good work!

PS: Chris Harrison is just a total wanker. I don’t think I have to elaborate.

Comment: Nick has actually addressed this on social media saying that it seemed like all he said over and over and over again was that Sam was beautiful. But apparently they talked about a bunch of things that were never shown.

Good luck in Vegas. You may never repeat your amazing day in Vegas but I hope you come close. Lets hope so. I never expect to repeat that performance from July. In my 20 years or so of going to Vegas, that roll was the best I’ve ever been a part of. Very rare that happens. I’ll take someone rolling for 30 minutes. That’s usually a nice pay day. But 90? Crazy.

I sat down at 800 pm last night to watch the BIP finale. Did not make it through the worst beginning of any show I have ever watched. Fire whoever was responsible for that. My question is what is the incentive for anyone to get on this show. Overexposure in bikinis? Why not come in with a pre show game plan and fake the entire show? Deflate gate versus Overinflated gate. Any real breasts on this show? Nope just so many boobs. Thanks Steve once again for your spoilers. Your a timesaver. Save me from watching these shows.

Comment: Completely disagree with you on the intro to the show. Funniest thing they’ve done in a while.

The incentive to come on the show? Money. If they weren’t getting paid, they wouldn’t do it. I mean, some would, but most wouldn’t.

Hi Steve,

You’ve said previously that the lead chooses a few contestants he or she can see at the end and the rest are kept around for TV purposes. During Samantha’s entrance into BIP, it was mentioned how little chemistry she had with Chris but she lasted for a significant portion of the season. Isn’t the franchise admitting in a roundabout way that producers choose who leaves for most of any season? What are your thoughts on this?

Looking forward to another seaaon and off-season!

Comment: Not really. Remember, you have 25 girls to start usually. And they have 11 episodes they need to fill, and they usually follow sort of the same pattern of the number that go home each episode, usually something like 25-19-16-13-11-9- and so on and so forth. It all depends on if you’re good TV or not.

Would you ever consider adding a “where are they now?” section, with updates on former contestants? I’d love to find out what happened to some of the contestants the pre-social media seasons. For example, whatever happened to Russ from Trista’s season, Heather from Texas, Tina Fabulous, etc.? Maybe others wouldn’t care, but I’d read the sh*t out of that!

Comment: I have actually thought about this since it’s pretty easy to find people on Google and just see if they’d be interested. But actually going through with it and executing that plan never ends up happening. Maybe someday it will.

Hi Steve,

Love the column!

Totally agree with you about Kirk and Carly. As I was listening to her blab on (and on) on “After Paradise”, I was bored so decided to look back at your section on “Chris’ Girls”. I only watch Paradise (and Bachelor Pad, RIP….) and so you may have already answered this question during Chris’ season (if so, I apologize.)

Do the contestants (not the lead obviously ) have restrictions on all social media during filming? I assume absolutely yes. But what had caught my eye was an IG pic that you posted of Amber, and I noticed that Juelia “liked” it. I’m sure this was after filming was totally over but it was just something I noticed. Wonder how many other social media buddies are out there before the show even hits the air! Plenty of these people are friends once their show airs. Juelia and Amber were on the same season and even went on vacation together I believe once it was over.

Two other random thoughts on BIP:

(1) Jaclyn is dead funny. Wish she was on the show longer.

(2) I’m so glad I don’t have to hear Tenley say “Joshua” any more. I’ve never heard someone drag out that name in such a cumbersome fashion before.

Thank you!

Hi Steve,

The whole timeline situation on BIP is so confusing to me. I know that they film for 3 weeks, based on the dates and info you gave out, but so many contestants say higher numbers such as 5, or try to make it seem like they were there for much longer (maybe because a 5 week romance before an engagement sounds better than three?). I’ve noticed this both in the ITMs and when contestants are on After Paradise. Is this all due to producers telling them to pretend that “an episode = a week” and portray it as such? Exactly. The audience doesn’t know the dates of filming and when it happened, nor do they care. So they have to cater to them. They know the show in episodes, so when they’re on the 4th episode, they tell the contestants to say “4 weeks.”

I guess something that ties into the above is the Carly/Kirk situation. You stated that they had slept together prior to the fantasy suite, and Carly definitely eludes to it, but Kirk in the ITMs acts like they haven’t. Again, is this producer doing to make it seem like their first special time was in the overnight date? To someone who isn’t as, ahem, aware of the show, I’m sure they wouldn’t care/notice the discrepancy but it was so annoying to watch! Don’t act like you haven’t done it, Kirk, when Carly keeps on insinuating pretty heavily that you have! I don’t remember Kirk acting like they hadn’t. Hell they showed them walking into a hotel room and closing the door.

Do you know any more info on why Ashley S. is now distancing herself from the franchise? I noticed she’s the only one who never posts social media posts about the show, or to tune in, and she’s been getting on with her non-Bachelor life, which I’m glad she is! Because she’s dating her college boyfriend again and probably is just over all of it.

Also, I saw in yesterday’s recap you wondered what happened to Lauren I. and the whole mistress thing. I read Ashley’s Cosmopolitan recap from a couple weeks ago, and she wrote that, “Once Lauren went home, though, she confronted her bae and she’s no longer the “side piece,” as we prefer to call it.” So there’s that…Good to know she came to her senses.

Last question, as we head into The Bachelor filming, I was wondering if the lead has any say in the foreign locations they go to? Absolutely not.

Hi Steve,

I really like your matter-of-fact attitude about all things Bachelor and relationships in general. However, I think you misinterpreted Carly telling guys to “stop”. I don’t think she was saying for guys to stop breaking up with women; I think she was talking about guys avoiding things as a way of dealing with difficult situations. It’s not that women don’t do this, they certainly do, but I think to a lesser extent. No, it’s never pleasant to break up with someone but Kurt could have been more upfront about his doubts before that last day. Carly doesn’t come across as delusional (she’s no Ashley I) so even though it was only 3 weeks, Kurt did in effect “blindside” her. She had no idea of his doubts because he never shared them with her. He could have brought up some of his hesitancies to her, and not in a harsh or mean way, just in a way of talking about some of the things he was concerned about as far as keeping up a relationship outside of the show. This conversation also might not have been pleasant and it might have led them to breaking up earlier, or it might not have. At least Carly would have been aware of some of his hesitancies. But he avoided talking with her about these feelings and so she was completely surprised when he abruptly broke up with her and this is where I think her pleading for guys to “stop” comes from.

Cheers to you from dusty Tel Aviv (there’s a huge dust storm over the entire middle east right now),

Comment: But she made it seem like this is some worldwide epidemic that only guys are guilty of. My point was that she had a 3 week relationship that she seemed still to not be over 2 months after the fact.

But hey, props to Tel Aviv for chiming in. Watch out for the dust. It’ll get ya’.

Hi Steve,

Quick Observation/Question-

They must script some if not all of “After Paradise”, right? The Carly/Kirk situation seems to be the most obvious example. She claims they hadn’t seen each other, Chris Harrison kept saying that hadn’t seen each other since Paradise but there have been multiple photos on social media of them together at premiere parties. Just seems so ridiculous to make them claim these things when it’s clearly not true and people can see that super easily.

Comment: I think they meant seen each other to meet up and talk about things. Premiere party is different. Everyone was there and they easily could avoid each other.

Re: Tenley’s interest in Ben and therefore the possibility of her wanting to be on his season

Is it just me or is it a slap in the face to have someone you’ve got a mutual interest in become the Bachelor? A self-respecting person doesn’t go on a reality TV dating show in order to be able to date someone who rejected you to get a large paycheck and fame. Nick did it because he wanted to fix his reputation.

Comment: Pretty much. They spent time together, he knows she wants him, they still currently talk as friends, but he chose to still be the “Bachelor.” Speaks volumes if you ask me, and hence the reason I don’t think she’ll go on his season. Would look too desperate and she’s much too image conscious.

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  1. cjscjs711

    September 9, 2015 at 10:46 AM

    On who was the Nick from Chicago caller – look on Carly’s Twitter page. Nick Pennebaker from Chicago. They banter back and forth. If it were Nick Viall, I’m sure both he and the Franchise would have gotten a whole lot more mileage out of the call by identifying him.

  2. jessicat

    September 9, 2015 at 11:44 AM

    I completely agree with what most people have said here about Carly. It didn’t seem like Kirk was all that into her. She was so arrogant about being one of the “power couples” and loved it when other people broke up. Kirk was in a lose-lose situation, and any time he chose to break up with her was going to be the wrong time.

  3. rob22

    September 9, 2015 at 12:50 PM

    As far as the “cheater” email, I realize a lot of people cheat. Millions of people signed up for Ashley Madison…. to their detriment with the release of everyone’s name. Even in nice neighborhoods, there’s lot of married people on the prowl.

    I realize that people also often/usually try to justify their actions & rationalize that what they’re doing is in some way OK.

    But…. seriously…. you choose to cheat with a married guy & justify it by saying, “Hey I’m single, he’s married, so he’s cheating, not me” . Really? Look, if he’s a cheater, then he’s going to cheat. That’s on him. But if you participate, you’re part of it. Let some other stupid woman be the one who participates in the breakup of a family. And yes, that’s what you’re doing. No rationalizations allowed.

    And, even from a totally selfish perspective, don’t you want something better than being some guy’s mistress on the side? Or, something better than some one night fling with a guy stepping out on his wife that cares nothing about you except how you look naked and how willing you are to spread your legs?

    Have a little self respect. Stuff happens. People go out to bars and make mistakes. But learn from them and move on. Don’t rationalize them and continue to make them worse…. and make them become part of who you are. Hopefully you’re better than that.

  4. kinbville

    September 10, 2015 at 9:16 AM

    Amen and well said to Rob22 above.

  5. valadega

    September 10, 2015 at 9:46 AM

    So if a guy tells you that you are wonderful and wants to meet your family, you are to translate that to mean he really isn’t into you? Why oh why do women blame other women when men treat their “sister/friends” badly?

  6. shouldbeworking

    September 10, 2015 at 11:01 AM

    On another topic, what does everyone think of Trump? Does he seriously have a shot at becoming President? Even though American politics are not followed by the majority of us Canadians, it is still interesting to hear what people have to say about him. He’s like a bull in a china shop to me.

  7. vessel

    September 10, 2015 at 12:35 PM

    To the person seeking other countries iterations of the Bachelor PLEASE don’t waste time on the low budget garbage that was the Bachelor Canada. Yikes, talk about the red headed step child of the American Bachelor. Tremendously embarrassing, and I sincerely hope that after the second season that aired last Fall they realized they just cannot compete.

  8. kimmyfromdablock

    September 10, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    Carly has completely lost me now. At one time, I found her to be someone who was mildly entertaining and relatable. The Kirk breakup saga really turned me off. Just unfollowed her and Jade on Twitter. In my book, their 15 minutes has expired.

  9. cpak258

    September 11, 2015 at 6:01 AM

    To the girl talking about cheating… a few years ago, I was in a similar situation. The guy I hooked up with wasn’t married, but in a serious relationship. At the same time, my friend hooked up with a married guy. We only old each other but used the same justification “he’s married/taken, not us, he’s the cheater..” Plus, being single, we just liked the attention whether the guy was married or single (we were 24/25 at the time). Fast forward 6 years and we are both in a serious relationship/married (with different guys obviously) and looking back at it, we both say those flings were our biggest regret. No, we weren’t the cheaters, but we might as well have been. We knew full on that those guys were married/in a relationship and that makes us just as bad, in my opinion. You may not see it now (we didn’t see it then), but when you are in a relationship/married some day, you will realize how much you hate the type of girl you used to be.

    People cheat, it happens. We’ve all (of at least most people i know), have gotten drunk at a bar a did something stupid. But at the end of the day, we all deserve someone who wants to actually be with us, and not to be a side piece when their wife is out of town. So my advise is to delete his number, tell you friend to do the same… trust me… he wont leave his wife and its not worth wasting your time.

  10. rob22

    September 11, 2015 at 6:45 AM

    cpak258: well said. I too commented on the “mistakes in bars” scenario. There are definitely a few incidents I’d like to have back that were fueled by cheap drinks at Happy Hour.

    But the next morning you’re supposed to say OMG!!! What the hell did I do?!! And move on with an embarrassing stain on your reputation… which your friends forgive because they’ve done the same or worse at other times. I can’t understand taking a bar incident & wanting to continue with it. It makes no sense.

    To carry through your final paragraph. You are right that most guys are pretty calculating. They try to give the mistress just enough to keep them in the game without actually leaving their spouse (or ever really seriously considering it). A horrible game to be sure. But, let’s say he does leave his wife & marries the mistress. What does the mistress now have? A guy who’s been lying to his prior wife & cheating on her. How do you think you’re now going to be treated?

    Oh, you think you’ll be treated better because it was all about the former wife being a crazy shrew? Think again. Now you’re the crazy shrew to a guy who’s likely to cheat on you. Everything he said to you, he’s now saying to someone else he met in a bar. You’ll find exceptions. But every guy I know who’s a cheater is cheating because that’s who they are. They’re not cheating because of the wife. Of course the wife has flaws. (Find one person out there that doesn’t have a few things about them that are pretty annoying). They might travel for business (maybe not) and like to go out for a few drinks. If something is available in the female department, then they take it. If the girl is naive enough to give him regular access, then he takes her as a mistress (some do stick to one nights, fairly anonymous, never see them again type encounters).

    Guys who don’t cheat operate entirely differently. They don’t put themselves in cheating situations. They don’t go out to bars regularly. Maybe a once in a while for a guys night out, but nothing very regular. If they travel, they are far more likely to just hang in the room & watch TV. Maybe a work dinner here and there, or a beer, on occasion, with a colleague in the hotel bar, but they’re not hitting the bars every night. Watch what they do. They’ll tell you who they are. Guys cheat because they are cheaters, not because of their circumstances. Guys who don’t cheat, are just not cheaters. They don’t blur lines & stumble into affairs. They avoid putting themselves into bad situations. They don’t thrive on “excitement” and drama. They avoid it. That’s just not who they are. It’s honestly not that hard to tell which they are if you’re not rationalizing away to justify what’s happening.

  11. rob22

    September 11, 2015 at 6:54 AM

    “So if a guy tells you that you are wonderful and wants to meet your family, you are to translate that to mean he really isn’t into you?” (from above)

    In real life, you’re right. In a 3-week reality show hook-up adventure with people who have incentive to pair up with a girl to stay on the show, keep their mugs on TV and keep the party rolling as long as possible…. you just can’t have the blinders on and pretend that you have a real relationship.

    In the real world, if someone started talking about having children and meeting one anothers family after less than three weeks, the correct reaction is to look at them like they’re a little crazy and take a couple of steps back. That’s just way too soon for those types of conversations. On BIP, the reaction should be extreme skepticism. But, people are in a bubble, so they believe all kinds of crazy things, I guess.

  12. valadega

    September 11, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    If the guy just wants to stay on the show, is it her fault? I heard it really was another woman he

  13. valadega

    September 11, 2015 at 12:55 PM


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