The Muppets are back. I don’t care what anyone says, that sh** was funny last night. I mean, Kermit saying “What can I say? I’m attracted to pigs.” Genius. Very well written, funny, smart, included adult humor, and stuff that would go over kids heads, like it should. Now you might say, “Steve, no one cares about the Muppets anymore. This isn’t 1985.” Wrong. Plenty did as it did a huge number last night in the ratings. 8.9 million viewers and a 2.8 rating? Are you kidding me? Basically doubled what “Scream Queens” premiered at (which was also pretty good), and yes, if we’re comparing it to the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette,” the Muppets outdrew every episode of Andi’s season, Kaitlyn’s season, “Bachelor in Paradise 1 & 2”, and all of Chris’ season except for the finale and ATFR. That’s how strong the Muppets are. Wow. That’s a huge number. Lets see if they can maintain at least 75% of that. Don’t tell me Fozzy having dinner with his human girlfriend and her parents wasn’t funny. It was. I don’t want your Muppets hate coming my way. No sir-ee. I could watch hours of that stuff. Thoroughly enjoyable. You should take a peek at it. 30 minute show, flys by, tons of cameos, and some good one liners.
-More Hollywood breakups. Is there something in the water? Good Lord. We get like 3 a week now. Granted, none of you probably care about this one but I do because Kate Walsh is on my short list of “Hot Older Women.” Very short list. She broke up with her boyfriend Chris Case. Frankly, I had no idea Kate Walsh had a boyfriend, let alone his name was Chris Case. So it’s probably good they broke up. I’m not sad in the least bit.
-We’ve gotten to the point now where nothing should surprise any of us about anything. Seriously. Like, if I were to tell you that there was a doll out there for kids in the “Barbie” mold that had her period and came with all the essentials of one having a period, would you really be that surprised? Well, you shouldn’t because it’s true. “Period Barbie” is here and comes with all her pads and an instructional video. I’ve seen it all now.
-Ali Fedotowsky is getting married in case you didn’t know. She got engaged to her boyfriend Kevin Manno a couple weeks back and now they are in the planning stages of their wedding. Ali says she’s not really into your traditional wedding, which we knew from when she shot her ABC pics on the “Bachelorette.” Remember her in a wedding dress and converse shoes? Yeah, she still likes that idea. I think the most amazing thing about Kevin is how much he resembles Frank, Ali’s final 3 guy who eliminated himself at the end to go back to his ex-girlfriend. Good lord, it’s like these two are brothers.
-Yep. Another breakup. This one is a little bigger than the Walsh/Case split. Amy Poehler and Nick Kroll have broken up after 2 years of dating. They went with the ol’ standby of “their schedules just didn’t mesh.” That seems to be the one that most couples are going with nowadays. Basically, any celebrity has that break up reason built into any relationship they get into. I mean, are two celebrities ever going to have the same exact schedule for every project they work on? Well no, unless they’re attached at the hip. Soooo yeah. Except more breakups in the coming weeks, with couples saying their schedules just didn’t work out.
-Ok, we know Lifetime really likes making these movies about old TV shows and what went on behind the scenes, but when they start messing with classics like 90210, that’s where I draw the line. Look at the clip from their 90210 movie and tell me what you think about this. Really? Luke Perry couldn’t keep his hands of Shannon Doherty’s boobs? And she didn’t care? This will be craptastic, I’m sure.
-Wednesday nights are now about to get real busy for me with “Modern Family,” “Survivor,” and “Nashville” all starting back up. In case you don’t remember where “Nashville” last left off with their storylines (like me), here’s a little refresher course on where everything stands with everyone. The only one I remembered was Deacon and his sister and the whole kidney thing. Yep, she’s a goner. They ain’t killing Deacon.
-As for “Survivor,” I can’t remember a season I was more fired up for than “Second Chances” which begins tonight. We need more Probst in our lives and it begins tonight. Here he gives us his impression of all 20 contestants heading into the premiere tonight. You read this, and he makes a compelling case for everyone. Yet you know that a quarter of them will be gone in the first month of airing. I haven’t read any spoilers on it, nor do I ever when it comes to this show, so I’m looking forward to tonight.
-One contestant from this show is Stephen Fishbach, who was from “Tocatins” season and lost to JT in the finals. Since then, Stephen has written a weekly blog for People.com for a few years recapping every episode. And they’re going to continue to let him do it this season, even though he was on it. But as he says, he won’t be giving spoilers, or even hints of what happens. He’s writing as a contestant who was there and experienced everything, so it will probably be the most interesting weekly read of “Survivor” this season. Surprised CBS and People.com are going to let him continue this, but it’ll only enhance the readers perspective of what went on.
-So I’m jumping up and down for how great the “Muppets” was last night and how it killed in the ratings, but of course, someone always has to spoil the party. A group called “One Million Moms” has filed a petition against the show for being perverted. Essentially they want it off the air, and essentially these are the worst people ever. I’m sorry, but any group that petitions to get any television show off the air is wasting their time. So stupid. Really? The Muppets? You’re that offended? You people need a life.
-Usually the links I post are very light hearted and funny. This one is not. You’ve been warned. But it’s so bizarre and morbid, I figured you’d want to know about it. A man killed his girlfriend after she said her ex’s name twice during sex. Ummmm, there’s never a good reason to kill anyone in life, but that reason might be 841st on the list of worst reasons. Lets hope he goes to jail and never comes out. And that’s not even bringing into account exactly how he killed her either.
-Michael B. Jordan is one of the hotter actors in Hollywood now. From “Fruitvale Station” to the “Fantastic Four” to the upcoming “Creed,” the guy has a lot on his plate. The last thing he needs to be doing is be linked to Kendall Jenner. So yeah, Vince Howard from “Friday Night Lights” definitely doesn’t need to be messing around with a Kardashian spawn. You got a big game against Arnett Mead coming up, Vince. Pay attention. Talk about a guy with a head on his shoulders. Just read some of that interview to know this guy has his sh** together.
-Karina Smirnoff and Victor Espinoza were the second couple eliminated from DWTS last night. There were sadz all over the ballroom last night. Karina took to her People.com blog today to write Victor a love letter.
-And finally, I’m not watching this show, but if there’s a story about Britney, you know I’m commenting on it. Here she was appearing on Neil Patrick Harris’ “Best Time Ever” last night in a candid camera sketch “interviewing” potential bodyguards. Of course the only thing I took from this clip was, “Holy push up bra, Britney.” Impossible to focus on anything else:
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