Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Dr. Reality Steve,” Deleted Scenes from Monday’s Ep & a Preview Clip for Next Week

The return of the live video chat happens tonight at 9:00pm EST/6:00pm PST. Haven’t done one since early September, so I’m sure a lot of you have thoughts and opinions on everything that’s gone down in the last 3 1/2 months. Bring it on. Will be taking your questions for an hour on anything and everything “Bachelor” related, plus whatever else you want to bring up. If you want to tell me you’re sick of all the media coverage the site has been getting, you can do that too. Just remember, I don’t have a publicist. I don’t go out looking for this stuff. But when the NY Times, New York Magazine, Jezebel, and Reality Blurred all come asking for interviews, I’m absolutely gonna say yes. It’s been a crazy week to say the least, but I hope these articles gave you a little bit more insight to me, the site, my thoughts on this franchise, etc. Definitely some of the most candid interviews I’ve done, even though I feel like I’m saying the same thing most of the time. It’s weird. I don’t want to say the same thing, but I catch myself in almost every interview giving a lot of the same answers. I’ll try to change that up a bit in the future. The interesting thing is how my old radio career is being brought up again. Oh the stories I could tell from those years. Definitely an interesting path it’s been to say the least. Lets keep on trucking and see where this thing goes…

Now lets get to a preview for next week and some deleted scenes from this past Monday’s episode. ABC posted a :60 preview of the “Bachelor High” group date next week, and whaddya’ know, they’re focusing on the bobbing for apples part. Shocker. I’m sure Jackie is never gonna live this down…

Here are your deleted scenes from last episode, all of which were shown on the “Bachelor: Live” aftershow which is God awful, so you probably haven’t seen them yet.

Ben’s Gift from Former Bachelors:

Maegan & Huey

JoJo Explains the Unicorn

And finally, here was Ben on Jimmy Kimmel Monday night being grilled about his final four in case you missed it…

On to your “Dr. Reality Steve” for this week. Only one question, but hey, I’ll take it. Lets shoot for more next week cuz the Dr. has been on hiatus for almost 4 months and needs to start helping those out there with marital/relationship/sex questions. You won’t get more unbiased answers anywhere else.

Hi Dr. Reality Steve,

I love your column and read it religiously. I have never written in but, I need some advice.

I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and we have lived together for a year and a half. I am 31 and he is 33. Last year (around Valentine’s Day) I found a receipt for an engagement ring. I was SO excited. I decided to never tell him that I found the receipt, so he does not know. Well, now it has been almost a year since I found that receipt….and nothing. I have moved with him to the country where he grew up an hour away from my friends, family and my job. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and recently he made me the beneficiary of his life insurance policy.

We get a lot of pressure from his family to get married, but try not to pressure him about getting married. I know him well enough to know that pushing him will only prolong things. That being said, we do talk about getting married as in “one day if we get married…” or, “one day when we have a baby…”

My question to you is…what is the hold up? I’m scared he has changed his mind, but our relationship is very solid and I know that he loves me and there’s no question that I love him.

Thank you for your time,

Ringless in Richmond

Comment: Ummmmmm, maybe because he bought the ring for someone else?


I think.

That does seem bizarre that he’s held on to a ring for a year. I’ve never been engaged so it’s hard for me to speak on, but I’m guessing when I do buy a ring, the proposal is coming shortly thereafter. But a year? AND you guys live together? It’s not like you’re still dating and getting to know one another. It’s been 2 1/2 years and living together for the last 1 1/2. Maybe since I’m inexperienced in the engagement field this isn’t as bizarre as I think it is, but do guys buy rings for the woman they live with and hold on to it for a year before proposing?

I think the only person who held on to a ring longer was Brandon Walsh after Kelly said “I choose me.” Then Tracy found it in his underwear drawer, flipped the f**k out thinking he was gonna propose to her, which forced Brandon to sell the ring back so Tracy wouldn’t think he was still in love with Kelly even though he was, then Kelly went and bought the ring herself because she didn’t want anyone else to have it. An all-time great 90210 storyline.

I say give him 6 more months, and if he hasn’t proposed by then, bring up the fact that you know he bought a ring and what’s the deal. Don’t give him an ultimatum, but ask him what the hold up is. See what he says.

One final thought: I know it’d be kinda confusing to mix up a receipt especially with an engagement ring, BUT, you’re absolutely, positively sure the receipt you saw was for an engagement ring he purchased for you, right? Just checking.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tonight.



  1. Scout

    January 7, 2016 at 9:23 AM

    Ringless in Richmond,

    Did you double check the date on the receipt? IE: Has he proposed before he met you? My husband had been engaged once before he met me and found a receipt for a ring when we moved in together that he had kept from he previous engagement…mind you it also had the return slip with it…but still!

  2. vessel

    January 7, 2016 at 9:40 AM

    If he did buy the ring intending to propose a year ago something has changed. If he was going to propose he would have done it shortly after buying the ring, and would have been VERY excited to do so. The fact that he hasn’t in all this time tells me he isn’t going to, or maybe what you saw was not actually a receipt for an engagement ring, and the whole this is a misunderstanding. In any case I’d bring it up immediately, it must be on your mind constantly! It would be eating me up inside and I’d want to get to the bottom of it and clear the air. Good luck!

  3. katieottawa

    January 7, 2016 at 10:53 AM

    Here is my take. If your relationship is as solid as you say it is than why would it be so hard to straight out ask him? I dont understand why its so hard for people to speak up to their significant other if they have something on their minds? Why would you seem pushy?? This isnt a guy youve been dating a few weeks. This is someone youve been with for more than 2 years and live with and plan to marry in the future, surely you should be comfortable enough to talk to him about anything especially if something bothers you. I wouldnt waste another 6 months waiting and wondering. Screw that, speak up, youve already been silent for a year. I would just ask him. Clear the air. Depending on his reaction/answer youll know what his plan is for you. Its most likely not an engagement ring but who knows maybe he lost it or was waiting for the perfect time but eventually just forgot about it.

  4. xnuzboss

    January 7, 2016 at 12:29 PM

    Dear Ringless,

    You need to ask yourself an important question. Would you have moved in with him and away from your friends had you NOT seen that receipt? If there’s any hesitation whatsoever, you MUST bring it up and be prepared for anything.

    Good luck,


  5. sginca

    January 7, 2016 at 1:30 PM

    Couple of things to consider…is it possible he put a down payment on the ring, but has yet to pay if off? Maybe waiting for a special date to come up? But here’s another, more disturbing thought…any possibility it might not be for you? I was once engaged and found a beautiful pair of earrings in my fiancé’s briefcase. I waited to receive them, thinking they were coming at some point, but I ended up finding out he had an affair. It took some research on my part (this was back before the Facebook/Instagram/Smart Phone era), but needless to say that marriage didn’t happen. We had been living together for two years. Its a bit different since it wasn’t a ring, but point being, you won’t know until you ask. I agree with the above comments. If you two are that close, you should be able to ask him anything. Not a demand, not an ultimatum. Just a simple question as to why the receipt, yet no ring.

  6. jay2

    January 7, 2016 at 1:33 PM

    Dear Ringless,
    I agree with the comments above. I would ask him, maybe do it casually, don’t make a big deal out of it. Don’t wait another 6 months, you already waited a year and that’s a lot of time. There are several plausible explanations (e.g. maybe his dad asked him to buy a ring for his mom and then paid him?). Just get it out of the way. In any case you’ll know where you stand.

  7. newbachfan

    January 7, 2016 at 2:18 PM

    I don’t watch Kimmel (although he is super funny). My husband is a Fallon fan and he owns the remote during that hour. But, oh my wow!!! Either Kimmel read your spoilers, or ABC Bach producers wrote the Kimmel script. No way he could have isolated Lauren B., Jojo, and Cailia based on episode 1, especially a girl in a unicorn hat and Cailia, who I’m hoping becomes more likable after episode 1. Kudos to RS for his pure awesomeness!!!!!

  8. newbachfan

    January 7, 2016 at 2:27 PM

    One more thing… My husband watched Bachelor for the first time with me on Monday (poor guy). As soon as Ben came on, my husband started humming the Brady Bunch song. I laughed so hard!!!

  9. rob22

    January 7, 2016 at 2:29 PM

    So, a guys perspective. When I bought my engagement ring it felt like it was burning a hole in my drawer. I could NOT WAIT to propose and I would have been a wreck if I waited. My girlfriend was on a trip when I bought it, and when she returned I had made the proposal plans to happen within 10 days of her return. There is no way on earth I would have bought it a year early & held on to it. Besides, why would anyone buy a ring if they didn’t intend to propose right away? That makes about zero sense. Drop a few grand and put it in the closet for “some day”? No. Nobody does that. Somethings up. Agree that you should ask about it. Now, not in six months (why the hell would anyone wait six months to make a major clarification like that?) Maybe some kind of misunderstanding?? I know it’s a new generation and all, but really?

  10. rob22

    January 7, 2016 at 2:37 PM

    OK, so on the whole Bachelor thing. It’s been going on a long time. They have this formula working and they’re just cranking out seasons. Endlessly, it seems. Now Reality Steve is blowing up with interviews…. think about it… interviews about a reality TV blogger who only really blogs about The Bachelor. And, there was a show that’s entire point was to parody The Bachelor. And it wasn’t a one time thing either. There is going to be a second season…. of a parody show. Yes. Are we coming to that place where the show is just becoming a caricature of itself? It feels like I’m reading the Book of Revelation in regards to The Bachelor & it’s the end times. Honestly, there is nowhere else to go but down at this point. Fonzie just water skied over a shark. What happens next? If I’ve been quiet, this is why. Bachelor Armageddon is upon us. Repent!

  11. keddo

    January 7, 2016 at 3:51 PM


    Did one of your boyfriend’s buddies pop the question around the time you found the receipt? Maybe Boyfriend was hiding the receipt for his buddy.

    Even if the ring of the receipt was unrelated to your boyfriend, isn’t it time to talk about all the important things about your future together, like marriage, kids, where you hope to live eventually, and the timing of all those things.

  12. kimmyfromdablock

    January 7, 2016 at 4:57 PM

    The red flag here has nothing to do with the intention of the ring. The red flag is the fact that you hesitate to address a real issue for fear of scaring him off or stepping on his toes.

    Real talk honey. You ain’t got that ability now, you ain’t gonna get it later. If he takes it the wrong way, regardless of the ring status, you’ve got the wrong guy.

    Stop dancing and start talking. Get engaged or pack your bags.

  13. warbonnet

    January 7, 2016 at 6:06 PM

    For Ringless (and the other commenters) –

    First, you guys are being a little hard on her, no? She was probably hesitant to confront him on the receipt because she’s a romantic and didn’t want to ruin the proposal for him (am I right, original poster?). So let’s stop assuming that she’s “too uncomfortable” to have a conversation with her boyfriend. This is a little different because it’s a “surprise” that some guys like to “plan”.

    That said – I do agree with most of the posters here. There is absolutely no reason that he’d buy a ring and hold it for a YEAR. It’s just not logical. I’ve been engaged a few times. For most men, that ring would burn a hole in your pocket.

    Now my thoughts:

    1) I think it’s extremely unlikely that he bought the ring for someone else. We can scrap that idea.

    2) Someone said it could have been a deposit on a ring. That’s more realistic. However (and this is a big however), the store would usually give the guy the ring at that time (with a credit card on file).

    3) Since you live together. When you know he’ll be gone for a while, grab a girlfriend and tear that house apart for the ring. Did you take a picture of the receipt with your phone by chance? Check the exact date and then read the text messages between the two of you on that day. Maybe you’ll find a clue. Did he seem normal? Extra loving? Weird?

    4) Or, just ask him about it. Maybe feel the waters first by bringing up marriage. The key is to be playful about it (honey, you’re so awesome, why aren’t we married yet!?). Get the conversation rolling, see his reaction, and then tread lightly into “a while back, I found a receipt and I thought it might be for a ring”.

    If I think of anything else, I’ll post again. Good luck and let us know what happens!!

  14. kmannone723

    January 7, 2016 at 10:15 PM

    @warbonnet- I agree with you on your point. I can add one more maybe one more unsettling reason he’s holding off(personal experience of mine) He’s waiting for his divorce to be finalized(my guy who I had asked a question about a while back wasn’t divorced from his long time estranged wife in a different yet we were planning to marry before I kicked him to the curb)

  15. rob22

    January 8, 2016 at 10:19 AM

    Just to add, if you can’t talk about finding an engagement ring with your spouse…. and I’ll add that a lot of these emails elicit the same thought…. then how the hell are your going to communicate when you get married? You have to, have to, have to bring up significant things. You have to be able to talk to each other and, yes, sometimes even argue (nicely most of the time).

    Now, let the little stuff slide… wife doesn’t put the toothpaste cap back on, then buy toothpaste that has the cap attached. There’s a lot of stuff that’s better off being let go. I saw a seminar where the leader said that his wife drove him crazy because she wouldn’t shut any drawers. So, he was constantly shutting her drawers and getting pissed off about it. He even got to the point where he was thinking divorce. Then he figured it out. She was never going to close drawers. It was who she was. It took him 30 seconds to close the drawers each day. He could do that without being mad. So, let that stuff go.

    But you’re overdue for an engagement ring & the guy had one? That’s not little stuff. It’s like this…. “Hey, I forgot to mention this a while back, and it’s a little embarrassing…. but I found this engagement ring receipt & it had me expecting a proposal. Can you tell me about that?” Then let him talk. If he flips out, that tells you something about him, not you. And, any way you look at it, you’ll get new information that will help you decide how YOU want to move forward with this relationship. Or, not.

  16. cjscjs711

    January 8, 2016 at 10:25 PM

    Forget about the ring. Doesn’t matter. He bought a ring, changed his mind and took it back. (BTW were you snooping?)

    What you really want to know is does he s3riously want to get married or not? You do. If he doesn’t and he should know by now, then he should set you free. Your biological clock is ticking. Faster than his. That’s the way it is.

    Are you aware he could tie up the next several years in what may just be a very comfortable relationship to him.

    Its hard meeting eligible,men you’re attracted to and it does NOT get any easier with age!

    Caution not to make it a cross examination and if it helps you to bring up the ring, do. But this is really about getting married or not. Not about ring receipts.

  17. lobsterandbeer

    January 10, 2016 at 6:26 AM

    wowsers people, bad advice runs amok! Do not question him about the ring, not only will he wonder if you are a snoop, but if he is waiting for a perfect time to propose, that will be ruined! There’s a story for the grandkids “hey Nana how did Grampy propose? Well little Bobby, I found a ring receipt while snooping, so I obsessed about it for a year and asked him about it one day after I had a few glasses of wine while we were brushing our teeth what he was waiting for so he had no choice then but to ask me, yippee!”
    How about enjoy this man and your relationship every day, whether or not you are married, if it happens it happens, men sometimes are on a different timeline than women. If you are hell-bent to get married soon for whatever reason, you might not be on the same page and you should move on, you don’t need a ring and proposal for that, trust your gut!!

  18. trixibelleschott

    January 11, 2016 at 11:23 AM

    I want to hear how this turns out too. Meanwhile here’s some free advice from a pro…married 6 times and learned from it. Currently married almost 21 years to a great guy who is young,handsome and sweet. So much for credentials…yes, don’t waste any more time. You may want children, and/or your best time for finding a mate is while you look good. Sad but true. He is not the only man out there. Think about what you…don’t dare tell him you found that receipt and didn’t say anything. Lobsterandbeer, cjscjs, and war bonnet all gave you my favorite pointers, although this site offers lots of intelligent advice. Find a playful way to begin a conversation about the future. Knowledge is power. Don’t waste your time wondering. I wish you love and the outcome you desire. Prayer doesn’t hurt.

  19. Del Scorcho

    January 11, 2016 at 11:41 AM

    Dear Ringless,
    I would probably not take the advice of readers who have been “engaged a few times” or “married 6 times.” Yes they may have some experience but clearly not of the good kind.

  20. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 10:02 AM

    Maybe ringless needs to find ways to casually bring up marriage; like “accidentally” leave behind a ring ad or a bride magazine. Maybe he trusted the ring with a friend but wanted to keep the receipt for insurance purposes and is maybe waiting for her parents to give their blessing especially if they live in a different state and don’t visit often. Perhaps he’s planning a very extravagant proposal which takes a lot of time to plan especially if he wants a specific place. He could also be waiting for a signal and know she would say yes if he asked. If her parents have not given their blessing to him for her to marry her yet he may be wondering if she loves him enough to marry him without their blessing. But I would still put a little timeline on it though no more than 6 months. But I would be finding ways to bring up marriage casually before then and kinda have the talk of “we’ve been living together for a while ….” and see how he responds. If he keeps dragging his feet especially when the casual bring ups of marriage happen he’s not worth her time.

  21. Serpephone

    January 21, 2016 at 10:19 AM

    newbachfan: My husband swears Ben is a young Peter Brady reincarnated or something! I thought your comment was so funny I had to sign in and tell you!

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