Reality Steve

The Bachelor 20 - Ben

The “Bachelor” Ben Episode 3 Recap Incl Tanner & Jade’s Wedding, Editing, & Olivia the Introvert

Photo Credit: ABC

-Hey, lets dive into the bag or recycled dates from past seasons and pull out this week’s group date! What do we have here? Oh yes, and exact replica of Juan Pablo’s soccer group date, except this will be at the Coliseum and not the Stub Hub Center, and now two members of the USWNT, Alex Morgan and Kelley O’Hara, are going from winning the coveted World Cup to coaching 12 girls who all have two left feet. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. The ironic thing about this date being at the Coliseum is if you take into account the 12 girls, Ben, the two USWNT participants, Chris Harrison and all the crew that was there, it’s probably equal to or more than the amount of people who will probably attend Rams games for the three years they play there. Although, I will say this, it’s definitely more entertaining to watch a group date where everyone involved sucks at the sport they’re supposed to be playing rather than being good at it. Watching them flail around trying to kick a ball into a goal made it seem like someone was trying to teach them Quantum Physics or something.

-Back at the house, because of the 12 girls on the date plus Air Hostess girl getting her 1-on-1, the only 3 possibilities left for the second 1-on-1 are: Jubilee, JoJo, and Becca. Jubilee is not feeling very confident. Jubilee: “I think Ben does have a type he’s kinda gravitated towards.” Translation: Ben likes white girls. No need to beat around the bush here. Jubilee knows she’s an outcast on the show and with those two still as possibilities, she probably was in the right to feel that way about possibly not getting that second 1-on-1. Another reason why? Well, probably because I can’t remember the last black girl to get a 1-on-1 on this show, can you? Maybe I’m missing someone recently that’s skipped my mind, but I’m drawing a blank. The first one that comes to mind is Marshawna from Matt Grant’s season, and that was a 2-on-1 date with Holly Durst. There HAS to be a black girl after that who’s gotten one, no? I know this was mentioned on Twitter last night numerous times, but it is worth repeating that I honestly don’t think it was coincidental a black girl got the first 1-on-1 date on this show in what seems like forever on Martin Luther King Day. They know when their episodes are airing. C’mon now. Random coincidence?

-Back to this exhilarating game between the Stars and the Stripes. If you missed it, basically just imagine any 6 year olds soccer games where everyone on the field travels in a pack with the ball and, at some point, it squirts out and gets past a goalie. That’s basically what this game was, yet there’s Ben in an ITM telling us it’s essentially equivalent to the gold medal game in the Olympics or something. Easy there, Ben. I’ve saw better cohesiveness and team play in “Teen Wolf” when Michael J. Fox dropped 50 a game while his teammates ate apples on the court. I think this game went into overtime. Riveting, I tell ya’. And since Rachel the unemployed person had a calf injury, the Stripes team decided to take advantage of her and scored the game winner. Amber got the winning goal proving she’s not a complete failure in all group date competitions after Mandi left her in a trail of dust on the track last week. I think it was twin Emily playing goalie for the Stars team that gave up the game winner, but she had the most poignant observation of the whole game. Emily: “I’m not a fan of balls flying at my face.” This coming from a Vegas cocktail waitress who’s basically fending off balls all night long. Well said, Emily. Have either of you hooked up with Dan Cox yet or do we have to wait til BIP 3?

-At the after party while the Stars team heads back to the mansion to lick their wounds and Shushanna fireman carries Rachel out of the car, the winning team gets to party at the Hotel Intercontinental with Ben. Guess what guys? You’ll never guess who pulls Ben aside first to talk to him. Yep. You guessed it. Jami. Kidding. It’s Olivia. Which then gives the other girls the chance to let us in on a few things about Olivia we have yet to find out. First, she has fat toes. Secondly, she had bad breath. Wonderful. I’m sure that won’t make someone who’s already hating her edit, paranoid about fan reaction to her, and a bullying victim in the past the least bit insecure. These producers sure know how to turn that knife once it’s dug in, don’t they? In her talk with Ben, she tells him “People find me intimidating, I guess” before they kiss on the couch, where Ben doesn’t seem to jazzed about it. Not to mention before they went in the room, they stood on the balcony overlooking all the others girls and waved to them. Good Lord. I don’t believe Olivia read the chapter in “Bachelor for Dummies” titled “How To Alienate Yourself from Everyone Else in the House.”

-After Olivia gets back from her talk Jami pulls her aside to tell her what some of the other girls were saying. It’s here we learn that Olivia hates her calves and her cankles. And Jami tells her the girls were making of her toes. Now the bad breath thing was a voiceover who I have no clue was attributed to, but it was never told to her. Not sure if it comes up in future episodes. So basically it’s 4-on-2 at this point. Haley, Lace, Amber, and Leah vs Jami & Olivia. A lot of s**t talking this episode, but producers made sure it all focused around Olivia. Of course they egged the girls on to talk crap about her, but just remember, everyone has the ability to say no. Sure, they might threaten you and say you won’t get a rose, or maybe deprive you of sleep, but you can still stick to your guns. Apparently these girls didn’t. I mean, are Olivia’s cankles, toes, calves, mouth really that big of a deal? Of course not. It probably goes to show there was such little drama going on at the time, they were digging for anything at this point. I just think these things are being made into bigger deals than they really are. Olivia obviously was unaware of how she was coming across to everyone else, or maybe she wasn’t, but when you break down what she was doing, this isn’t anything crazier than what we’ve seen on any previous 19 seasons. Tierra was worse. Kelsey was worse. We’re talking about being confident you’ve gotten roses and just not handling it well. I guess because I just see this show differently than most people who comment on it, yes, I get what Olivia is doing is alienating the group, but she’s not bad mouthing anyone, while they all are bad mouthing her. She’s the girl not there to make friends. We see that every season. What’s the flip out on Olivia for? This is nothing new.

-I have zero skin in the game. I could care less what happens with Olivia. I told you two months ago this was coming and she didn’t get along with the girls in the house. I’m just being realistic here. We’ve seen WAY worse characters than her on this show. It’s not even close. I think her blog post says a lot about what you’re seeing on TV. She admittedly does not do well in large groups. She’s not good with small talk, and on this show, you basically have to be. This show and her personality were basically a horrible match, and we’re seeing it play out. These next three episodes I’m sure will be worse than these first three for her. I can’t see how they won’t be. All Olivia can do at this point is not respond on Twitter, own up to it, and when the “Women Tell All” becomes “The Attack of Olivia,” don’t try and defend your actions, just apologize for the way you handled things and be done with it. It’s your only way out at this point. Any fight she puts up trying to defend her edit or point out things that the producers AREN’T showing is an effort in futility. Joe went through this exact thing on BIP 2. And what’d he do? He got on “After Paradise,” apologized, owned up to it, and took responsibility. If Olivia wants to get through this, that’s what she needs to do. You’re welcome, Olivia. That’ll be $5000 for that advice. You can make the check out to “Dr. Reality Steve.”

-Oooooohhhh, there’s still other women on this date. How could I possibly forget? We see quick clips of Ben talking to Jami, Leah, and Lace but I couldn’t tell you a word he said to any of them because it was barely shown. Amber is the one that’s been whining for the last couple weeks she hasn’t gotten much time with him, so she gets her turn. She tells him “I know what I want.” Yes. Totally. Last year at this time you wanted Chris Soules. Then this past summer you went on BIP strictly to meet Dan Cox. Then when he didn’t want you, you wanted Justin. And now you want Ben. Totally believable. Amber ends up getting the rose becauuuuuuuse…hmmmm…not really sure. But she did. However, Olivia knows Ben really wanted to give it to her, because when they were holding hands, he squeezed her hands tightly. And when he got up to leave, he put his hand on her leg as a crutch. Then again, he also used Jami’s leg as a crutch too. Olivia must’ve missed that. I think Olivia’s brain is so warped right now at this point in filming by producers, she has no idea how what she’s saying to the cameras is gonna come across to America a couple months later. Clueless.

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  1. jfonteno

    January 19, 2016 at 10:27 AM

    Hi Steve,

    Just quickly commenting to say I think Leslie from Sean’s season was the most recent black contestant to have a one-on-one date in the franchise. He sent her home after the date.


  2. rob22

    January 19, 2016 at 10:48 AM

    So with Olivia, obviously she said what she said and did what she did. And she chose to be on the show, so she signed up for the ride. But I can relate to her a bit, like RS. Obviously I’d never be on the show, but in thinking about it, I know I could never do it. I don’t do well in crowds either & it’s virtually certain I wouldn’t get along with most guys in the house. I’m sure I could do very well on camera because I know how to be “on” when I need to be. But afterwards I’m just exhausted and don’t want to be around anyone or have to talk to anyone. That would come across as being stand offish, arrogant and rude. Which it’s not, but people wouldn’t and don’t understand that.

    One on one, I’m great. I’m into conversations and listening & sharing and all of that stuff. So, like Olivia, I could do just great on one on one dates.

    The definition of introverts is that we use up a lot of energy when we’re “on” or in crowds, we don’t enjoy the spotlight and then we have to retreat and recharge afterwards. We gain energy from kicking back by ourselves. We NEED alone time. Extroverts gain energy from people and crowds. They live for being the center of attention. They love a party. So definitely extroverts have a big advantage in this show.

    I’m not making apologies for Olivia, but I understand where she’s coming from.

  3. denster24

    January 19, 2016 at 11:09 AM

    Hey Steve! Leslie Hughes was black and had a date with Sean, but she didn’t get a rose. Also, I’m pretty sure it was Lauren H who said she didn’t like balls in her face and then said “oh that sounded bad”.

    Love your blog! You da man!

  4. vessel

    January 19, 2016 at 11:34 AM

    I just emailed Steve about Leslie Hughes, I’m guessing mine will be one in 100. Sorry Steve!

  5. sara32

    January 19, 2016 at 12:54 PM

    Hm I’m not sure if I agree about Ben phoning it in on the date with Jubilee. Seemed he was actually being genuine and himself with her, regardless of how she fares in coming episodes.

  6. angelfish

    January 19, 2016 at 3:34 PM

    Ben’s date with Jubilee came off to me as squarely in the friendzone. I think he was fairly comfortable with her because she creates no spark for him.

    And I think Olivia is hilarious. I just wish sh’s tone down the shine on her face and do something with her hair. They both look really greasy.

    Overall, I’m enjoying the ladies & find Ben just as “meh” as I thought I would.

  7. dogmomma

    January 19, 2016 at 3:56 PM

    I’ve been watching the Bachelor since season 1, and I’ve been reading the spoilers since they first started. I should know better about this show, but I get caught up in it and tend to forget about the manipulation behind the scenes, until I read the latest spoiler and reality slaps me in the face. I feel sorry for Olivia because she was chosen to be the person most hated, but then again she gave them a lot to work with. I’m sure the contestants get caught up in it and let their guard down just like I get caught up in it as a viewer and let my guard down. As for Ben, I see a lot of people who think he’s boring, but I’d rather watch him than someone who cannot carry on a conversation. Bottom line… Been watching the show forever and will keep on watching it no matter how bad the lead is. It’s just more painful to watch with a bad lead.

  8. kimmyfromdablock

    January 19, 2016 at 4:42 PM


    I guess the same way grade school boys find it funny to burp and fart, you find it amusing to refer to flight attendants as “Cart Tarts.”

    I know you make these references (to death, by the way) all in jest, but it comes off as degrading and sexist to me. It’s 2016 dude, there are plenty of male flight attendants. You’re not exactly a brain surgeon Steve.

    Also, fyi, it’s “I couldn’t care less.” If you ‘could’ care less, then you actually could, but you’re emphasizing that you don’t.

  9. hurricaneemily

    January 19, 2016 at 7:10 PM

    Hey, Steve.

    Thanks for the update on Janner’s wedding. Can’t wait!

    Here’s a link to my recap for week 3:


  10. LynnS

    January 19, 2016 at 8:17 PM

    Kimmy – you said exactly what I wanted to say. Steve is very immature. My God he’s forty years old and still talks this way. He seems to be unable to get out of his high school/college years. For example, he loves 90210, Taylor Swift and all kinds of TV shows that depict that era. And he talks like a teenager with regard to sex.

    And thank you for mentioning the “could care less” statement that so many people make. It’s very clear that if you could care less, that means that whatever you’re talking about is something that you do care about.

  11. elizabeth82

    January 19, 2016 at 8:55 PM

    Wow, Steve is defending Olivia HARD.

  12. wavecatchingmom

    January 19, 2016 at 9:59 PM

    I am not sure Steve and I watched the same show, maybe watching it on Hulu a day later shows the producer’s manipulations even more because it was very clear that Ben prodded Jubilee’s sad story out of her… he stumbled through the question “I want to… um… tell me more about that… um about your hard time or what you were um… ?? WTF? I should watch it again to get the exact wording. It was absolutely fed to him, he didn’t want to ask her but he had to. And she didn’t want to answer but had to. And the girls ganging up on her, that was absolutely manipulated but Steve reported it wrong, Amber did not go in to help Jubilee, she said, I’m going to confront her. and the only reason she toned it down was because Ben was there. She needed to explain to Ben why they wanted to confront her re: the girl talk which Jubilee rightly saw as a confrontation-one she could have handled by saying “hey bitches, I was making a joke, and you didn’t think it was funny, but it was a joke about being afraid to go in a helicopter”, but she obviously has some very real social fears as I could imagine having also in that situation, so I think the producers really earned the unreal slime award this week above all so far that I’ve seen. Also Olivia is not just an introvert, she’s a complete narcissist, which is why she can’t gauge other people’s feelings.

  13. atleast4characters

    January 19, 2016 at 11:37 PM

    Let me help you out Kimmy. Scroll to the top of the page and see how Steve bills his blog. Then visit this

  14. smurfette22

    January 20, 2016 at 8:41 AM

    So, Olivia sounded delusional in this last episode. I’m sure he squeezes every girl’s hand and waist. But to say they are “signals” to let her know he wants to give her everything but he can’t? Does she even hear herself?!

    What bothers me about cocktail parties is that if the girl already has a rose, people get pissed if she still wants to spend time with Ben? That’s ridiculous. If you like a person, you’re going to want to spend time with them regardless if you are safe for that week or not. It just makes it seem like the girls just want to secure their airtime for the next episode instead of actually connecting with Ben.

    Caila is a DRAMA QUEEN. I feel like she was almost offended she didn’t get a one-on-one.

  15. locondcoco

    January 20, 2016 at 12:26 PM

    Sorry if this has been pointed out before (haven’t been following the comments quite as much): If Sarah Silverman and Kristen Stewart were to have a love child, that love child would look like Lace.

    And every season, we have the one cast member who doesn’t quite grasp how this show works. This season, that award seems like it goes to Caila. Congrats Caila.

  16. duckquack

    January 20, 2016 at 11:44 PM

    awwwww Jubiiiiii Jubiiiii does not think she is good enuff…cry baby

    they are talking diversity for the next season…LOL bros, or sisters do not share well their paramours with the rest of the competitors…there will be extensions and claws flying everywhere….

    Jami is way prettier than Jubiiii who is irritating and tear jerking…..send her home she does not make good TV.

    Olivia don’t stop….keep expressing yourself don’t forget to drink…

  17. serapa

    January 21, 2016 at 9:22 AM

    Yes, Olivia was manipulated by producers and staff, but let’s face it…she seems very narcissistic, mean and oblivious.

  18. ganny2jax

    January 24, 2016 at 11:20 PM

    I think it would be quite embarrassing for Olivia to return to her TV job when this is all over. Her mouth is unbelievably huge. Does she not realize how many times she opens it??

  19. a016202

    January 27, 2016 at 1:25 PM

    “If you’ve ever negatively commented on a “Bachelor/ette” contestants social media account for something you saw on the show, you’re a loser”. Are you for real? You are a 40+ year old, single DUDE writing about a reality show and totally degrading the contestants in any media outlet available that is willing to pay for a room for you at the Holiday Inn. Who’s the loser here? JC, you’re an ass.

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