Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” & Deleted Scenes from This Week

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

Congratulations on your big round of publicity! I’m a writer too, so I’m very impressed that you’re able to make such a good living with your blog. Do you have any other writing gigs besides the blog? And have you thought about “leveraging your platform” (that sounds awful, I know) by writing a dark novel about reality TV or some other venture?

Comment: Nope. This website is my living right now. I’ve been told I could easily write a book, but something like that would take a lot of time, and I just don’t know that the book people would want to read from me is the book I want to write. Ultimately if I write a book, people are going to want to know two things:

1) Where did I get my spoilers from?
2) All the gossip I know from the franchise and name names of those involved.

And those are two things I absolutely have no intention to do, even when the show is over. So, I don’t know what other kind of book would interest people.

Hi Steve! Enjoying your hilarious coverage and insider knowledge of The Bachelor as usual.

I love Peter Brady: how warm and natural Ben is and his great sense of humor about the whole thing. He does seem like the best bachelor since Sean.

Speaking of Sean, I’m reading his book right now. I know you said you wouldn’t read it, so did you know he spills some tea about Brad’s 1st season. He says Brad got in touch with an ex toward the end of his season and that’s why he chose neither finalist at the final rose ceremony. That would be Laurel. There’s a whole history with Laurel, but more so back when Brad went on a second time. It’s in the archives if you wanna go look.

Also, he discloses that he did meet with Emily off-camera after they forwent the fantasy suite on The Bachelorette. She whispered off camera that they could meet there to spend some off camera time, and they did. He says they didn’t sleep together and never addresses whether he slept with AshLee or not, which she accused him of at the After The Final Rose show on his season as the Bachelor. Interesting . . .

In the book, Sean says he truly did not know that he would pick Catherine until the very end. He kind of walks on egg shells in describing the final 4 and their families, which is sweet. He’s very kind to everyone.

Do you think that could possibly be TRUE considering he ended up marrying the girl? Do you think Catherine is upset that he says this (I would be). It really doesn’t make sense that he’d not know til the end, pick her and then go the distance with her, too, televised wedding at all. I would think you’d have to know early on. I know Sean has said that for a while that he didn’t know the morning he woke up who he was choosing. But then I’ve heard him say that he hated when Catherine wasn’t around and he couldn’t NOT be with her. So it’s confusing.

It’s interesting, too, that Sean does disclose some of the behind-the-scenes machinations (like how the crew asked him to kiss certain girls at extra romantic moments), but he paints the crew and his handlers as caring. He says they cried when he got booted by Emily, and my cynical mind (with your sarcastic voice ringing in my ears) wonders if they were all crying (camera person and all) to encourage Sean to lose it and get good footage. Do you know how many times I’ve heard stories of producers crying along with their contestants to make them feel better? More than I can count on 4 hands. Happens all the time. That’s how manipulating they can be.

Anyway, I always do enjoy behind the scenes scoop and live near the Bachelor mansion, too. We pass it all the time. The Four Seasons — where Ben stayed — is only 10 minutes from the mansion, so it wasn’t that far.

Keep on blogging – LOVE your take on things. Oh and the new website is great!!

Comment: Yeah, not sure why he could put up at that Four Seasons and not any of the houses down the road they usually use.

Hey, Steve,

First-time writer, long-time reader. I just wanted to bring up an interesting note that I noticed. Leads tend to pick people with different hair colors than the person who rejected them. I started watching during Sean’s season, so I don’t go further back than that, but here you go. The only exception is Kaitlyn choosing Shawn, whose hair color is similar to Chris’.

Sean rejected by blonde Emily, picks brunette Catherine.
Des rejected by blonde Sean, picks brunette Chris.
Juan Pablo rejected by brunette Des, picks blonde Nikki.
Andi rejected by somewhat blonde/higher haired Juan Pablo, picks brunette Josh.
Chris rejected by brunette Andi, picks blonde Whitney.
Kaitlyn breaks the mold.
Ben rejected by brunette Kaitlyn, picks blonde Lauren.

No idea if anyone finds this remotely interesting, but here ya go!

Comment: That information is totally irrelevant, useless, and really doesn’t mean anything, yet, it’s also pretty interesting. You could impress your friends with that one. Thanks for that.


Just read your post regarding ABC swearing they’ll have a “diverse” bachelorette lead soon.

Do you think its a coincidence at all that Caila ends up in 3rd place? No.

Its clear that the producers tell the lead some contestants to keep around for the majority of the season, but I always thought when it got down to the top 4 – 5, the lead could take control based on their feelings.. (maybe i’m being naive). There isn’t a universal answer. Every season is different, but I think most leads now how their final 4 will break down before they even start the hometown dates.

Its only been 2 episodes, but it doesn’t seem like Ben is overly into Caila, and Caila is pretty different from the rest of the top 3 (jojo & lauren). Maybe Ben picked out his favorite minority on the first night and producers required him to keep her to the #3 spot.


Comment: I don’t know that to be a fact, but could it be a possibility? Sure.

Did you notice that all of the couples who went on to marry were also over 25? I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

Comment: Still a very small sample size though since we’ve only had 5 marriages in the “Bachelor/ette” franchise.

Good evening!

I just finished/glazed over episode one. With your recaps, the desire to sit through two hours of this drama is rapidly decreasing as I get older. Anyways, you can throw another reader (me) into the, “Are the contestants super young this season?” category.

As I was watching their ages flash across the screen at the end while the rejected ladies wail about not being good enough, “he’s so perfect,” etc… It struck me how emotionally and mentally unprepared most people are at ANY age, to be thrown on national television with copious amounts of alcohol while manipulated by a bunch of (arguably) psychotic, heartless producers prodding you for tears and dramatic soundbites – let alone when fresh out of college and essentially zero life or relational experience. (I’m 27 and I still feel too young to do something so mentally taxing).

That last five minutes made me want to jump into the screen, shake them, and remind these ladies that they’ve known Ben for a total of maybe 12 hours, this isn’t the end of the world, and in a week he’ll be old news to them, maybe even less for the girls that go home and run back to their boyfriends. They desperately need a reality check – yet the unfortunate fact is no one producing the show is going to give them one.

I guess the longer I read your column (going on four’ish years now!), and the more insight you share into the behind the scenes, it gets harder to watch the show and less easy to be entertained and just forget the fact that Mike Fleiss, Chris Harrison, etc., are making money off of these women making fools out of themselves, some to the point of nearly being unemployable post-filming. All for a paycheck.

My two cents. Anyways, congratulations on your crazy cadence of news mentions and interviews, and I’m looking forward to another great Bachelor season…maybe only by reading your columns this time around 🙂

Comment: Thanks. I will agree that the more I’ve learned about the show over the years, the harder it has become to watch. And to recap, to be honest. All you need to do is go read any recaps I did before the spoilers. I knew nothing. I could and would only comment on what I saw on the screen because I knew nothing else. Sure I knew it was taped in advance, and I knew it was reality TV, but I couldn’t interject things I’ve heard or producer manipulations I knew about really because I didn’t know many. It’s just a different show to me now, one that I’ll never take seriously and neither should anyone else.


Just a note. I find JoJo and Andi to be so much alike. When I hear JoJo talking I swear she sounds exactly like Andi. I find their mannerisms to be so similar as well.

Also, both Olivia and Britt got first impression roses and then they are kind of made out to be acting like they are better than the other girls. Kind of flaunting their relationship and making sure the other girls are aware. Do you think they personally got a big head after getting the rose? Or do you think the producers specifically gave them that edit? I could see how getting the first rose might make one feel a little superior but wasn’t sure your take on that.

Comment: The word “edit” gets thrown around a lot with this show for obvious reasons, but I think a lot of people are missing the boat sometimes.

Every episode is covering 4-6 days of filming, which is over 100 hours of footage. And we get 80 minutes of it minus the commercials per episode. So EVERYONE is edited. Producers can do anything they want to your character. The thing is we never see what question the contestants are responding to during an ITM. All we hear and see are their answers. So to sit and try and dissect every ITM and what question they were answering versus what question the could’ve been answering is pointless. It’d just be speculation.

What we do know, take Olivia last night for example, we saw her ITM at the end explaining all the “touchy” things Ben did with her. Yeah, that’s makes her sound delusional, makes her sound crazy, and in her head, that’s where she thinks her relationship with Ben is at. But all we see is the answer. That could’ve been at the end of an hour in the ITM room. It could’ve been after a producer specifically asked her, “Hey, tell us all the subtle things that Ben is doing that is making you feel he likes you,” which could easily produce the answer we gave last night. So yes, while she sounds crazy saying it, and she could’ve easily avoided it, there’s so many circumstances that we don’t know about which makes it impossible to take everything you see on this show at face value. I know that, I try to let my readers know that, but still 90% of their audience believes all this s**t, and that’s why the show is successful.

Do I think Olivia was confident being safe at the first two rose ceremonies? Absolutely. Who wouldn’t be? And I’m sure producers preyed on that confidence. Olivia’s problem is she played right into their hands and gave them exactly what they wanted when she didn’t have to.

Hi Steve!

The thing about Ben having someone back home die got me wondering…what do you think the show would do if the lead had something happen where they couldn’t continue filming? Obviously if it’s a contestant who has something happen, they leave and that’s that, but what if the lead had a close family member pass away or if the lead got too sick to film or something? I know it’s never happened and you could only speculate, but just wondering what you thought. This show is obviously tightly scheduled, so I’m curious.


Comment: It’s a great question that I honestly have no idea what the answer would be. My only thinking would be that they would delay filming until the lead can return. Or maybe there’s even writing in the contract that states “under no circumstances whatsoever will you not be our lead for the entire season.” I don’t think a network can announce the “Bachelor” returns Jan. 4th and runs through March 14th, then during filming something happens and the show stops filming, then they just have 11 weeks of nothing. If I had to guess, I’d say once the lead signs on the dotted line, no matter what happens, they are finishing out filming their season. I would think the worst thing that could happen would be an immediate family member dies – mom, dad, sibling, etc. And production would stop for a however long, but they no doubt would have to come back.

Hi Steve,

I’m curious why the Bachelorette was in hiatus for three years after Jen Schefft’s season. Do you know why they did that?


Comment: I think Jen’s season was a pretty big disaster that at that point, maybe they probably figured the “Bachelorette” wasn’t working. But I really don’t know the answer to that.

Hi RS,

I have been an avid reader for years back when I was climbing my career to now being a SAHM. (I actually had more time to keep up with your site back then haha). I keep up with all your daily links in the “off season” too. Before I start on bachelor thoughts I wanted to mention that I hope that this is your year for love and happiness and a family if you desire. I see you so invested in your niece and nephew and wish the same for you. I’m pregnant now with my second child and love being a mom, my apologies if my pregnancy hormones are wanting everyone to have happy families if that isn’t something you desire but please know I am sending warm thoughts your way for this year to be yours. Thanks. I appreciate it. If it happens, it happens. If not, then it wasn’t meant to me. I’m just not gonna force anything.

Anyways – thank you for introducing UNREAL last summer. I loved it far more than I was ever interested in the bachelor and it helped putting the lens together for me as I read what you write and also watching the show. Just watched episode two tonight so I know I’m a bit behind and I haven’t finished all of your recap so hopefully I am not repeating anything. Watching the scene where Ben talks to Amanda (on the group date) and she shares about her children and they seem to have a “moment” made me wonder what conversation made the next scene happen. Next scene Ben is with the girls about to give out the date rose and starts addressing Amanda and you think he is giving her the rose, but then he addresses Oliva and gives it to her instead. This is mere speculation but I had a hard time not imagining a coercive and manipulative suggestion by producer to pick Oliva over Amanda. It seemed like he wanted to give the rose to her, I’ve never seen a bachelor address one person and give the rose to someone else. Did you notice this too? I could see the conversation going something like this, “well of course it makes sense to pick Oliva she won the compatibility test, they will understand that, and you like her right? and you can still keep Amanda the rose ceremony isn’t far away and we will help you come up with something special to do at the cocktail party so she doesn’t feel left out.”

Mere speculation but sometimes I wonder if unsaid conversations go through your head of what they said to get leads or others to do and say what they do. You can almost see that most of what they say is in response to a prompted question and they are just saying back the words – being fed.

I know you are just starting the video chat so you may not get to this for a while. No worries I was just behind on my end.

Again, wishing you the best!

Comment: Without being there and hearing directly, you’re right, it’s speculation but we all know the producers influence on decisions made on this show. Absolutely giving the rose to Olivia could’ve been prodding by producers. But I have no proof that it was. Certainly plays into her storyline, so it’s not far fetched.

Olivia and Lace are my main source of entertainment this season. I’m not looking forward to losing them; any suggestions who the new crazy will be after they leave? It was probably in your column or spoilers, but I’m drawing a blank. I’m late in catching up on your posts, but I had a few thoughts while perusing the reader emails. Once Olivia is gone, there’s only 6 left and none are crazy. That’s probably when the show “stops being polite, and starts getting real.” Speaking of that, when is the next season of “Real World: Las Vegas” airing. Yes, they went back Vegas for a third time, but now the cast is staying off the strip.

1) I agree that Amanda reminds me of Emily Maynard – more so than them being single moms. Amanda’s voice is always very controlled, softspoken and childish. I felt Emily came off the same way. Maybe it actually is a single mom thing, I don’t have kids and I’m loud. I cannot relate. Yes, they do sound a lot alike.

2) I don’t understand how you don’t have Netflix. You are missing out on a multitude of shows – including Making a Murderer. You do realize Friday Night Lights is on there? You could stream it all the time. Granted, I haven’t watched that show even though you keep recommending it. It is on my list, I swear. Oh, and to that emailer — Making a Murderer is a crime/justice system documentary that was split between ten episodes; I wouldn’t consider it reality television. Plus, it never aired on television; it was a Netflix exclusive. I don’t know why, but that bothered me. Semantics, eh. I’m aware of what Netflix is and everything that it entails. I just don’t have it because I have so many other shows on my plate. Only in the summer could I get caught up on something new usually. As for “Friday Night Lights,” I’ve seen it enough to where the only time I’d watch it again is if I was watching it in unison with someone else. It’s been done before.

3) I know I read in a past entry that there would be more expansions to the site. I love listening to podcasts and I thought you mentioned podcasts; if that’s true, are there any dates/timelines you can share? Or, would it be possible to change your Thursday Live Video Chats into podcasts after the fact? I listen to a podcast that is actually a YouTube show; however, they release it as an podcast after it has been added to YouTube. I don’t have the time to sit down and watch a YouTube video or your Thursday night chats, but I do have time to listen to the podcasts while at work, driving or working out/running. I’d be curious to see if that would increase your audience reach. We’re still working on it. Wouldn’t be able to give any dates on something like that.

4) Speaking of podcasts, do you listen to the AfterBuzz TV podcast for the Bachelor/ette? It doesn’t compare to the Right Reasons podcast from Grantland, but it’s the only Bachelor/ette substitute I’ve found. It’s definitely the least thought-provoking podcast I listen to, but sometimes you need an easy listen. Have you heard if the Right Reasons podcast will be continued elsewhere or in some other form? Never watched AfterBuzz TV. I don’t have the time. Right Reasons is definitely done on a weekly basis. Maybe Juliet will have Jacoby on at some point for her “Bachelor Party” podcast, but “Right Reasons” as we know it is definitely over as a weekly podcast.

5) Bowl Game talk. I see where you had no pull either way for Bama or Clemson and only wanted a good game. Did you catch the Alamo Bowl (TCU v Oregon)? I actually attended that game and went into it without any preference. I only wanted a good game. It turned out to be the best bowl game I’ve seen in a few years, let alone the best football experience I’ve ever attended. My question — which game do you think was better? Bama v Clemson or TCU v Oregon? Obviously if you didn’t catch the Alamo Bowl, you won’t have an answer but again, just curious.

Thanks as always.

Comment: I think Clemson/Alabama was better just because of the stakes involved. It’s the problem I have with bowl games in general. TCU/Oregon was a great game with a great comeback, but in the end, all the winner got to do was say “We won the Alamo Bowl.” I’m sure it’s nice for their school and friends and family, but other than that, doesn’t amount to much. Alabama/Clemson for all the marbles was a great game with two great teams who deserved to be there. Clemson bidding to become the first team ever to go 15-0 in college football history and falling just short. Good stuff. Not to mention, all sorts of freaks on the field for both squads that we’ll definitely see playing on Sundays in the future.


Love your page and you are always my go to for all things Bach & Bachette.
I need the scoop on Ellen’s design show….who’s out this week, who’s in for the long haul, and who do you KNOW wins???? Ok Steve I’m counting on you. Thanks Steve for all the info!

Comment: Oooooohhhhhh, yeah. I’m totally pumped for this! It’s…ummmmm….errrrr…that one designer.

I don’t have a f***ing clue what you’re even talking about.

Hi Steve,

I am sure you have been asked this before. If so, I appologize now.

I am curious about what happens if the girl hates the ring. Does the Bachelor try to find out what she would like or does he go with what HE thinks she would like.
Most of the rings I have seen are really hideous – to me. I don’t necessarily mind big, but bling is so not me.

Just curious.

snowed on in Scotland

Comment: I think you may be a little different than these girls then. I think they’re all enamored with the fact that these rings are worth more than they probably make in a year. So yeah, they may not like it, but they’ll definitely deal with it.

So are you going to read Emily & Andi’s books? And report on them to the rest of us? (Sorry, can’t bring myself to actually read stuff like that, it’s bad enough I’m a guy and I watch the show.)

And will the show go after them for writing these books? It seems that Emily in particular might paint the show in an unflattering light.

Comment: I think I will skim each of them while in Barnes & Noble one day. I doubt I will purchase them. But hey, if either wants to send me a copy to review like Courtney’s publisher did, I’d be more than happy to do it. Now granted, you may not like my review, but I would think publisher’s know that going in.

In Emily’s book, all I’m really interested in is hearing her talk about the Brad and Jef breakups. I don’t care about all the other stuff that happened to her after the fact, and God calling out to her, and her new husband and child. Just gimmie the “Bachelor” related stuff. Same with Andi. I just wanna hear the Juan Pablo and Josh/Nick dirt. I don’t care about her clothing line, her move to NYC, her dating life, etc. Just the dirt.

No, they won’t get in trouble, because these books aren’t going to be an expose on the show. They’ll talk about their time on it, but they’ll still be very guarded about what show secrets they reveal.

Page 2 of 41234


  1. angelfish

    January 20, 2016 at 11:10 AM

    The reason they didn’t have Chris Sigfried come to “advise” Ben was because he was never The Bachelor. He was simply a contestant. Chris Soules, Sean & Jason were there to let Ben know what it was like to be the man in front and the new face of the franchise. They were all leads and that’s completely different from what Mr. Chris Hartsock was.

  2. kmannone723

    January 20, 2016 at 12:32 PM

    I don’t think Calia would be a good bachelorette in my opinion she seems too immature to me. If I was to pick a non-white Bachelorette that might be more interesting I would pick Jubilee personally. They’ve had a military Bachelor Andrew Baldwin I believe why not a military bachelorette?

  3. kmannone723

    January 20, 2016 at 12:47 PM

    If they want Calia for Bachelorette they might as well have Britt because they are so similar in personality my nickname for Calia is Britt 2.0

  4. rob22

    January 20, 2016 at 2:37 PM

    I think MF might have backed himself into a corner with the whole “diverse” Bachelorette comment. If he goes with Caila, of course, people aren’t going to necessarily agree that she’s that diverse. Half Asian is diverse? OK. He’s obviously not going to go with Jubilee, or the edit would have been better.

    My bet is that he ends up with another white Bachelorette. Forcing Caila or even Jubilee into the equation when the formula will call for popularity on Social Media…. ehhhh…. I don’t see it.

    Also, I cannot believe what a non factor Becca is in this show. Though, I guess if I think about it, she was just kind of there in Chris’ season too….. but she just kept on getting roses until, wow, she’s in the F4, then the F3, then the F2. I’m not saying she didn’t have her fans, but I think that was mostly the crazies who thought her being a virgin made her somehow more credible (there for the “right reasons”). She had zero interest in that dim bulb stuttering m/f Farmer Fred, just as I don’t see her having a ton of interest in Smilin’ Peter Brady. It’s just a big charade. I still get a heavy lezbo reading from Becca. Just sayin.

  5. angelfish

    January 20, 2016 at 2:59 PM

    All those “diversity” comments referred to “the future” and means absolutely nothing for right now. As Steve pointed out, that could be next season, next year or 2024. It’s completely non-specific and worthless words.

    I think it’s JoJo or Caila next season, unless the reach back to somebody from a previous season that’s still memorable. And that will be tough.

  6. duckquack

    January 21, 2016 at 12:17 AM

    WTF is the Farmer doing back on the screen, he needs to go back to his farm and hibernate for the winter..he looks like a pudgy turd…is it possible he wants to beat the other Chris from Chi-town who was addicted to the show.

    Jani is much prettier and could potentially make a good Bachelorette….the crying wimp Jubiiii Jooob needs to go home…
    Ben needs to gain some muscle, he looks like a scrawny teenager.

  7. kmannone723

    January 21, 2016 at 11:10 AM

    @Rob I’m still kinda hoping for Becca as bachelorette especially after Kaitlyn’s raunchy season it would be nice to have someone pure and mature for a change. Although I will still watch either way but Kaitlyn kinda turned me off a bit especially when she brought nick v on and had sex with him damn near on camera before fantasy suites.(My mom covered her ears and eyes when they were in the hotel having sex) then she kept him til final 2 just to humiliate him. Me and my mom both felt back for Nick even though we don’t like him that much he still didn’t deserve that especially if she knew weeks prior she was choosing Shawn in the end.

  8. rob22

    January 21, 2016 at 12:51 PM

    I was kind of hoping for Becca too, but probably for different reasons. Ok, yeah, I admit I thought she’d be easy to make fun of. But lately I’m thinking she would be really dull.

    The whole Kaitlyn, Alf, Nick thing….. I thought it was ridiculous, of course, but in the end it made the show interesting & we could really hurl mud at the three of them. It was fun. So, since the whole premise is phony, isn’t it really better when we have a clueless lead like Juan Paco or Kaitlyn? There’s more to make fun of that way. Ees OK. I mean Smilin Peter Brady is killing me. I’m not even making it through the first 20 minutes before I’m asleep.

  9. kmannone723

    January 21, 2016 at 1:03 PM

    it’s hard to know who they’ll pick even Whitney might be interesting instead of someone from this season. but they also need to consider the audience as well; after a very sexually charged season which would you rather see a true virgin(Becca) or someone different like Jubilee,(really not hoping for Calia she’s another Britt), or someone that recently got single like Whitney or even Britt actually give her a chance since she didn’t get it last time.

  10. dogmomma

    January 22, 2016 at 8:24 AM

    I think Britt is in a relationship now, and I just recently read that Whitney has started dating someone as well.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply

  © Copyright - All rights reserved

To Top

Privacy Preference Center

Close your account?

Your account will be closed and all data will be permanently deleted and cannot be recovered. Are you sure?