-Before Emily’s date begins, we get a shot of Amanda and Lauren out on the dock talking about her date and how great it was to share soggy French fries with Ben and hang out with carnival people all night long. She never went into detail about how disappointed she was that she couldn’t slip Ben a handy on the Ferris wheel since everyone and their mother was watching and recording them on their phone. But Amanda seemed to have a great time and is excited she’s getting a hometown next week. And Lauren seems to take Amanda’s date in stride without getting jealous or upset. Probably because she knows Ben would’ve proposed to her back in episode 4 if he could’ve, so, she’s just playing it cool. Like, “Ooooohhhh, that’s so sweet Amanda. He totally friend zoned you last night. How cute. We actually did grown up things.”
-Ben takes Emily on a boat ride to see his family, and because Emily has an IQ of like 200, she has an idea what’s coming. “I think I know what we’re doing…since the date card said ‘Home is where the heart is,’ you’re taking me to see your mom and dad?” This one is good. You can’t slip anything past her. Except a soccer ball. So they arrive at Ben’s parents house and he shows her his room just like she did when he was at her place in Vegas. Now, I know it was Haley who had pictures of her ex-boyfriend still up, but Ben’s house had none of his ex Shaelin’s pictures up. Probably because she ran to a tabloid to and sold him out this season. Probably not a fan of hers anymore. What makes this a small world is that up until last month, Shaelin worked at a dermatologist’s office in Austin, which was just a few miles from Olivia’s dad’s plastic surgeon’s office. You couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried. Memo to anyone ever thinking of appearing on this show in the future: know that every ex, former roommate, former classmate, high school prom date, etc will be found by a tabloid and it’s just a matter if they decide to talk about you. Happens every season. Don’t complain about it after the fact. You’ve been warned.
-Once Ben gives her the tour of the house, he tells his parents to come on down since they were hiding upstairs – probably having sex. Dave and Amy meet Emily and Amy immediately takes her outside to chat. This went well. And by well, I mean that if Amy had access to some cyanide pills, she would’ve taken them. Emily basically had diarrhea of the mouth with Ben’s mom and wouldn’t shut up. When during the first conversation with your boyfriends mom you resort to sentences like “I like the ducks,” then you know you’re headed down the side of a hill and your brakes don’t work. She should’ve just pulled a Brick Tannen and threw in a “I love lamp,” or “There’s a pants party, you want to come?” Probably would’ve made more sense than what she was already spewing out. But her doozy was this one, “I feel like I’m so average at everything in life, but I feel like I’ll be an above average mom.” Seriously Emily, just stop talking. Why don’t you sit this one out?
-Then after making Amy’s ears bleed, Emily figured she wouldn’t discriminate by boring one parents, so she bends Papa Dave’s ear for a bit. That went well. When asked what she likes to do, she tells him “sit around and watch movies all day.” Now, while that may be totally appropriate and a qualification if she wanted to be MY girlfriend, Papa Dave doesn’t seem too impressed by this. Basically Ben’s parents would’ve disowned him if he ever wanted to start a future with this woman, and they made that known to him in the nicest way possible. Mama Amy gave her two cents and began with, “You know, not that my opinion matters or anything, but…” which was basically all mama’s boy Ben needed to hear at that point. He takes Emily back on the boat towards the house where the girls are and has a talk with her on the dock. Man, not only does he dump her, he gets to do it in front of all the other girls just staring out the window at them. Humiliation at its finest.
-Ben, do your thing. You know, get em’ going with the compliment to ease their pain, then throw the right hook across their face for the knockout blow. Ben: “I’ve been amazed at who you are…” (there you go, nice and easy)… “I just don’t think I can see you being my wife.” BAMMMM!!!! Out cold. She never saw it coming. Well, she should’ve. We all knew this relationship wasn’t going anywhere. And when you talk about ducks to his parents, you probably knew you were digging your own grave. But alas, Emily had no idea. “Hmmm…I don’t know what to say…I see it, it just sucks that you can’t.” Ummmm, exactly what do you see? Ben coming to Marquee on a Friday night while you work so he can watch guys like Dan Cox try and get in your pants the whole night? Probably not. He’s a little more sophisticated than that. He’d much rather have his future fiancé get hit on while delivering cold salisbury steak to customers in first class than deal with the Vegas club douche factor. It’s science.
-Since Emily was eliminated the day of the rose ceremony, we immediately head right into that. Ben is struggling with his decision…but not nearly as much as the season preview made it seem like he did. Remember the season opening preview of the season, we see Chris Harrison sitting on the courthouse steps with Ben saying something to the effect of, “This will change the course of everything.” Yeah well of course, once again, something that was shown in the season opening preview was not shown during the actual episode it happened. We never see Chris say that last night. So more hype yet again that never played out. Another thing was the fact that all 5 girls got to wear jackets to the rose ceremony. In 31 seasons of this show, we’ve seen a TON of cold weather rose ceremonies where they made the guys and girls stand there in freeze in just their suits or their dresses (last season’s rose ceremony at Citi Field comes to mind), but for whatever reason, that night they let the girls wear jackets. Never seen that before. I’m sure it was windy and a bit cold, but we’ve had way colder rose ceremonies than that. Hell, Ben and Courtney were on top of the Matterhorn in snowy Switzerland for the final rose ceremony and even she didn’t get to wear a jacket. Black gloves? Check. Jacket? No dice.
-Rose ceremony time. Lets do this. Ben: “Thank for the incredible week…being back in Warsaw…realize how much weight there is to this…a rose tonight represents me meeting families…getting families involved brings an extra amount of pressure…although not even necessarily with Amanda’s kids, since I’m guessing I’m already a better dad than the one they currently have now and I’ve never parented before.” Amanda already safe with a rose.
Lauren: It’s a race to the finish line, and Amanda has a commanding lead.
JoJo: I wouldn’t say she’s the tortoise in this race, but she might’ve pulled a hammy a quarter of the way through the race.
“Ladies, Ben, it’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. And make it quick because it’s cold, I’m hungry, and McDonald’s is still open. Daddy needs some breakfast at night.”
Caila: Warsaw, IN this week. Hudson, OH next week. Middle America must be creaming themselves over this.
As Ben walks Becca to the car, she asks him twice, “Why did you do that?” Was that a rhetorical question? I’m confused. Was she asking him why did he let her go? Was she asking why did he let her go at the rose ceremony and not sooner if he already knew? Whatever the case, Ben tells her he struggled with the decision and didn’t know until just then what he wanted to do. Becca is much more broken up over the Denver software salesman dumping her before hometown dates than the pig farmer dumping her at the altar. At least we know she cares. Lets just hope Becca has learned her lesson from this show and never comes on it again. It would be best for all parties involved. Nice girl, very attractive, but she can certainly find someone not in this franchise. Then again, most of these people can, they just choose to get caught up in the hype of the show unfortunately.