-It’s now time for JoJo’s date and Ben has a proclamation to make. After telling Lauren he loved her, “If I don’t know by the end of the day if I love JoJo, then I’ll have to let her go.” To me, that’s total nonsense and now what makes me think he forced himself to say “I love you” to two women. Because we all know that Ben couldn’t have just ended the show right there if he didn’t love her. He was basically saying, “Hey, I told Lauren I loved her and I didn’t to Caila. If I don’t tell Jojo, then the show is over since I only told one of them and it’s obvious who I’ll choose.” That’s where the TV side of things kind of takes over in my mind. Did producers force Ben to tell two women he loved them? I don’t think so. But Ben sits down and talks to producers every single day he’s filming. He’s closer to them than he is the women, just on a different level. So of course I’m sure it came up during conversation that he was having strong feelings for both of them, and I’m sure one of them just said, “Well, why don’t you tell them both?” It’s not inconceivable to think that’s how the conversation went down. Regardless, it still wasn’t a smart thing to do, but keeping in mind this is all about eyeballs to TV sets, the fact that everyone at the water cooler today is talking about “OMG, did you see Ben told TWO women he was in love with them” tells you all you need to know. And next season, it’ll be something else going into the finale. And the season after that, something else. And after that, something else. That’s how television is made. Same formula every season, but at the end, they just need to throw doubt in the viewers mind as to what can happen.
-Jojo arrives wearing Lauren’s cut off jean shorts and guess what? They’re headed into another helicopter just like their Vegas date. Except this time, no bad weather and no fireworks show. Nope, they will be taken to the YS falls where Ben can pitch a tent all day rubbed up against JoJo’s bikini as they make out in the water. They jump off the cliffs into the waterfall and basically just make out and grope each other for hours on end. Well, it seemed like hours. Maybe it was only minutes. But considering Ben was back to wearing his nut hugger bathing suit again, it probably wasn’t the smartest idea. He tried to stay pressed to JoJo as long as he could, buuuuuuuuuuut, yeah. It was obvious that Woody was definitely Ben’s favorite character from “Toy Story.” I think this was the moment in the episode that Jojo’s ex Chad was probably sitting at home and chucking his dinner at the TV. Considering he magically had a vase of roses waiting for her at her house on the hometown, do you think he tried feverishly to book a flight to Jamaica to try and interrupt this date? Wouldn’t surprise me. For all we know, he was hiding out in the bushes.
-It’s time for JoJo, and Ben for that matter, to drop the bomb. JoJo: “When I think about the future, there’s not a doubt in my mind, I’d want to spend it with you…I do love you. It’s weird to say that, and really hard, but I do.” Ben: “JoJo, I love you too.” JoJo: “What? Are you even allowed to say that?” Pretty much what a lot of people were asking. Technically no, but since they needed a different storyline for the finale this season, sure, lets go with that one. I think that Ben absolutely likes JoJo a lot, cares for her, developed a close relationship with her, and was truly heartbroken having to break up with her in the end. But how is that different than any other season? Breakups are never fun. They suck. Big time. No one ever wants to be broken up with and the person doing the breaking up usually isn’t too thrilled to do it. There really isn’t anything fun about doing it, we all dread it, but sometimes it’s necessary. Like on this show since the whole point is to end up proposing to one person out of 28 women they hand selected for you, months before they even knew you were going to be the “Bachelor.” Ben obviously made a mistake by telling two women he loved them. Just dumb. But I can’t dwell on it just because I know this is TV, and I frankly have a hard time believing a lot of what they sell us is real.
-At dinner, the two of them discuss the events from earlier in the day. JoJo: “I was shocked you told me that. It meant more to me than you’ll ever know.” Basically Ben is probably sitting there with a pit in his stomach realizing he royally screwed up. Even if he really was feeling that for both women, it was stupid to tell them. Absolutely zero good can come out of it. Ben: “I’m in love with JoJo, but I want support from her family.” Well good luck getting that buddy since I believe that JoJo’s brothers probably have a 10,000 question psych test for anyone to fill out who wants to date JoJo. Then you are probably run through a series of tests to see if you meet their standards, which are already set ridiculously high. How Chad made it through I have no idea. Amazing how much they turned on the “overprotective brothers” role for the hometown date, but where exactly were they then JoJo was in a self-admitted relationship with Chad where he was basically cheating on her? I guess since that relationship was off air, they didn’t have nearly as much concern. Shocking. Doesn’t sound like that was the most healthy relationship in the world for JoJo, yet when she mentioned at dinner last week that Chad dropped off flowers, I didn’t hear them say peep. How convenient. Ben, lets face it, even though you already knew it was Lauren earlier in the season, the second you had that awful experience with the brothers is when you truly knew this was game, set, and match didn’t you? Hell, I would’ve.
-Ben explains to JoJo what happened with her brothers and she just tells him they’re being protective, they mean well, he’d totally fit into the family, and mom wants him over so they can chug champagne from the bottle together. But now, it’s time to get down to business. “Ben and JoJo. Welcome to the island of Jamaica. Hope you’re enjoying your stay. Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite. Ben, if you do this, and any clothing of JoJo’s is removed, her brothers will murder you. Proceed with caution.” Of course they go back to the fantasy suite, and JoJo gives us more time in her bikini, which I’m sure not only made the male audience happy, but Ben as well. Now, kind of disappointed we didn’t get her in the silky robe the following morning (just sweats and a tank top), but we got our fill of sexy JoJo this episode so I won’t whine too much. Hey, she even got fed fruit in the morning by Ben as they made out all while producers were prepping Caila for her inevitable dumping. Of course, the commercial right before that made you think that Caila walked in on Ben and JoJo. Pssshhh. Yeah right. I hope you guys are seeing right through this stuff while it’s airing too. Like they’d ever have someone walk in on someone else’s overnight date.
-So after his night of passion with JoJo is over, and Ben takes his backpack and leaves (exactly what was that thing filled with? Sex toys?), we get Contemplative Ben sitting at his hotel thinking and filming ITM’s talking about how he told two women that he loved them. He said he knew he felt that way about two women, but that he didn’t feel that way about Caila, so he had to send her home. And you’ll never believe this, but it just so happened that Caila decided that day she wanted to come over and see Ben. Gee, I wonder if that was completely spontaneous? Please. That might’ve been the most scripted scene in recent memory on this show. Caila wandering around Ben’s hotel room with that giant fake grin on her face pretending like she doesn’t know where he is, Ben sitting outside on a lawn chair staring into space, even though a camera is shooting him the whole time, then Caila magically coming up from behind and Ben pretending not to have a clue she was approaching. All very organic and natural. Came off flawlessly, no?
-Of course, Caila’s convinced they have the greatest love story since Jack and Rose and they’ll be telling their grandkids about it some day. Ummmmm, not so much. Ben tells her he just doesn’t feel it with her, he’s in love with two other women, and that her being voted “Most Likely to Host a TV Show” by her peers in her senior yearbook is bothering him. Maybe they should’ve voted her “Most Likely to be the Bachelorette,” since that seems much more probable at this point. Caila is pretty speechless once he delivers the 100mph fastball she can’t catch up to. She just wants to leave. Once in the car, she realizes, “Wait a second. If I want to be the ‘Bachelorette,’ I need to make this exit MUCH more dramatic. I’m not done with him.” So she gets out of the car, asks to talk to him again, and basically asks, “Did you know this week?” Uhhhhh, yeah. That’s why he dumped you this week. What kind of question is that? I guess that answer satisfied her since she didn’t really put up that much of a fight. If he eliminates her at the rose ceremony, she probably asks, “Why didn’t you do it sooner if you knew,” and then he DOES do it before the rose ceremony, and she’s asking “Did you know this week?” You really can’t win if you’re the lead. There’s a format that the show follows every single season. No contestant should be surprised by anything, yet amazingly, they all are.
-Wasn’t much of a rose ceremony since Caila was gonzo. He gave a rose to both girls, they both said yes, then they had an awkward menage a trois hug. Can’t remember the last time that happened at the final 3 rose ceremony, but Ben is an odd bird. He thinks it’s rather amusing he told two girls he loves them, so why not hug them both at the same time? Hey, what’s wrong with that? Perfectly legal, right? Sure, Ben. Whatever you want to do is fine by us. How about in two weeks, you propose to both of them as well, but then say “Just kidding” to JoJo? That might go over just as well. So now for the next 13 days, everyone can scream and moan about why did Ben do that, how can he do that, how do you propose to someone when you’ve already admitted to loving someone else too, blah blah blah. All the while I’ll be sitting back here celebrating an almost perfect spoiler season, and gathering information for the “Bachelorette” in hopes to have another successful season of spoilers and information. I’ve always said that spoiling before the season and while it is filming is the most fun part of my job. I love it. I’m putting together guy’s profiles for the “Bachelorette” as we speak, along with trying to shore up some locations where they’ll be. I will let you know in due time. Until next week…
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