Reality Steve

Bachelorette JoJo Spoilers

Daily Links – 3/24 Incl the Raunchiest, Most Expletive Filled Group Date Ever

There have been some pretty wild and crazy group dates in the past on this show. The male stripping date on Andi’s season comes to mind. But based on what you’re about to hear, I don’t think we’ve had anything that will compare to what happened on yesterday’s group date. So much so that there’s no way most of this stuff is even gonna make it on network television. So it’s going to be heavily edited, and/or they’ll just bleep stuff out. But from what I was told, when every other word spoken yesterday was d**k, v****a, f**k, and sh**, someone’s gonna have to have their hand on the censor button every 4 seconds. And yes, that includes JoJo. Every other word out of her mouth was sh** and f**k apparently. As I told you, yesterday’s group date was set up kind of like a “Vagina Monologues” theme, where people got up on stage and told a sex story. And then some. I have no idea why these guys, and even JoJo, offered some of the things they did in their stories, but they did. And since I can’t imagine any of these things are gonna come close to making air, that’s why you come here: to find out what really happened.

Which is funny, because I loved the headline US Weekly ran in their story yesterday. All they did was take this tweet from Mike Fleiss…

…then throw the phrase “Get the Details!” after it. Yet, they had zero details of the date. None. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s headline chasing. When I post something, I don’t titillate it with some snappy headline to get you to read, then not follow up with it. If I say “Expletive Filled Group Date,” you’re going to hear what some of the guys said. Amazing. “Get the Details!” yet they have no details. Great “journalism.” So I’m going to warn you right now, the stuff you are about to read is some of the stories that were told on yesterday’s group date. If you have virgin ears, stop reading now. You’ve been warned. I wouldn’t tell stories like this in private to the person I trusted most in this world, let alone on a group date in front of an audience which will eventually be shown on live TV. But they did. So here we go.

The show was “hosted” by Jenna Brister and they were brought in to listen to her and others speakers tell a sex story. Then they were told they were each going to be telling stories. They were brought outside while the host and other speakers told stories including how they can have an orgasm without using anything. That was the warm up.

JoJo went first and basically cursed up a storm the whole story while cracking up and laughing throughout. She told a story about how she grew up in a conservative household, but her and her boyfriend at the time who was also from a Christian based family and very conservative, just felt they wanted to move forward with the relationship. JoJo said she had gone to Walmart and bought condoms, lube, and anal beads (she said she didn’t buy them but they were in her Walmart bag when she opened it), and she and her then boyfriend went to a cul-de-sac and parked. They started to undress and cops showed up and took them both to their parents. Her boyfriends parents hated her and they ended up breaking up, never having had sex. She lost her virginity two years later at 19. Ok, not a bad story. Not sure why she felt the need to tell us what she bought at Walmart outside of the condoms, but hey, good on ya’ JoJo. And sssssuuuuuuuuuuuure you didn’t buy the anal beads. They just happened to end up in your bag. However, that was just the appetizer for what was to come. Like I said, you’ve been warned…

-One guy told a story about being in college and putting on a speedo and going into a dorm down the hall that had a girl he thought was cute. He ended up walking in and there being 8-9 girls. He hung out in his speedo. He said one girl asked him if he was cold and he said he looked down and realizes his penis looked small so he went into the bathroom to “shake it” to make it fill out the speedo more. He ended up sitting with some girls, one girl was rubbing the inside of his thigh and he got a hard on that he couldn’t get rid of. He tried to get rid of it and nothing worked, so he gave in and went into her bathroom and jerked off and left his remains on the bathroom rug. Wonderful.

-Another guy told a story about apparently he loves bubble baths. He was basically talking about how when the guys go to bed at night after a rose ceremony, they all jerk off, and the bachelor mansion plumber has to pump out gallons of sperm. This guy said he took a bubble bath in what he thought was “soap,” and ended up being sperm. Uhhhh, ok.

-Here’s a short one: One guy talked about having sex with a girl and sticking a men’s vibrating razor up her ass while having sex, pulling it out and her sh****ng everywhere. That’s all I was given. I don’t think I need to hear anymore on that one.

-Another guy talked about his mom leaving for Zumba class, and they had a two story house and he loved the stairs cause you could hear someone going up and down. He had a neighbor he liked and she would give him the best hand jobs in the backyard under the trampoline. He texted her when his mom left, she came over met him in the backyard, they ended up going upstairs, he said his door was open and he was facing the stairs, heard his moms car beep, tried to finish before she got inside, and he said he was still having sex when his mom walked in on him. Sounds like the tamest story of them all. Getting walked in on while having sex? Psssshhh. The other guy was sticking vibrating…forget it.

-Another guy talked about going down on a girl was his first time. His parents were gone for the day. He said his friends and told him about going down on a girl “it would smell like fish” or to “do the alphabet with your tongue.” He said he was going at it and his neighbor caught him when he came over looking for the dad, and the next day he got the talk from his parents about the birds and the bees.

So yeah, those were just some of the stories to expect. There was one guy who went last who was offended by the whole thing and how he has morals. He called Jojo down to the stage, he told her he’s not talking about the past and what happened between them is between them. He went in for a kiss and Jojo turned her face. He then threw the mic down. Oh boy. That didn’t go over well. I’m not sure if this is the same guy that “almost came to blows” according to Fleiss’ tweet at the previous rose ceremony, but he shoved one of the other guys who was making fun of him when he got back to his seat.

There’s more to the stories, but just wanted to give you a little something on what really happened, since I can’t imagine a lot of these stories will come close to making air. The names of the guys on this date, and who told what story will be revealed at a later time. I think I need to go wash thoroughly after that. I mean, WTF?

Daily Links on next page…

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  1. laurac

    March 24, 2016 at 9:32 AM

    The guy who used the razor should be banned from ever having sex again.

  2. rob22

    March 24, 2016 at 9:43 AM

    @laurac, yeah seriously. Just wow for that story. You get that one told on you, you might have a little problem booking Saturday nights.

    Also, call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure Walmart doesn’t sell anal beads, so I’m calling BS on that story by JoJo. She obviously had to have gone to a sex shop.

    I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that the show is headed in this direction since Kaitlyn was so successful tarting it up last season. They could have done that same date, had fund with it & it could have been done much less graphically. But, of course, there’s the hidden hand of the producers that obviously wanted to push it to the edge. This is the new normal folks, for The Bachelorette at least. It’s interesting that The Bachelor hasn’t gone down that road. Kind of a double standard, don’t you think?

  3. Melinda

    March 24, 2016 at 11:30 AM

    Steve – Thank you so much for filling us in. You have saved me so much time b/c you have already done all of the work! I would so MUCH rather read your blog than watch the show. I think this is the worst I’ve ever heard that they have done. Thanks to you, I will not waste my time watching during the season and want to thank you so much for doing what you do! Keep up the good work!

  4. crushonspivey

    March 24, 2016 at 2:16 PM

    Fleiss sounds like a raging misogynist.

    So his last two bachelors have been choir boy types with how they are portrayed. Ben especially. But the last 2 bachettes are going the “wh*re it up” treatment.

    Trying to figure out what is going on here. Jojo seemed more all-American than this. But I guess people and their values can be bought easily on this show.

    So I hope she wh*res it up all the way, bangs all 3 dudes in the fantasy suite, then talks about their performances and the size of their junk after. Let’s go all in ABC.

  5. soren

    March 24, 2016 at 7:59 PM

    I saw Jojo’s edit as very similar to Kaitlyn’s. People seem to like the status quo. On the cooking date, she talked about Ben eating or liking her taco. Taco is Vagina. I’m not uptight about morals on a reality show (though it’d be refreshing). I laugh along with the ridiculousness, but they do crank it up to a tacky level. That guy who was offended could have won points with the viewers. Too bad for the approach and I’m sure his edit will be blown way out of proportion.

    Thanks for the updates.

  6. rob22

    March 25, 2016 at 7:11 AM

    @crushonspivey: that’s it exactly. The Bachelor is presented as some “perfect guy”, which as we know, doesn’t always work out when they select a Ben Flatdick or a Juan Pah-Blow. But they carefully engineer the show to project a perfect Bachelor even when the guy is a stuttering dolt like Farmer Fred. When The Bachelor is a total douche, there’s less they can do about it. But Smilin Pete was edited as essentially “Perfect”. No edge, at all.

    But with The Bachelorette, they had taken that same approach up until Kaitlyn. But now there’s a huge shift. The Bachelorette is now going to be the village sl*t. That’s an intentional shift with no other purpose than to garner better ratings. And the sad thing is that it might work.

  7. smurfette22

    March 25, 2016 at 7:25 AM

    This is not totally unexpected. Like someone above said, she went on and on about her “taco”. Then at the ball field, she talked about how she was ready to give herself to Ben. What I interpreted that to mean was not her heart, but she was ready to have sex with him. Even though, I’m sure she would have wanted to sleep with him sooner. This season will be interesting and dramatic. I just wonder if Kaitlyn’s season will look tame compared to Jojo’s by the end of it.

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