Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Dr. Reality Steve,” Tabloid Coverage, and BIP Casting News

We’re at that time in the season where the tabloid coverage will start picking up little by little. If you check out this week’s Star Magazine, you’ll see stories about JoJo’s guys being cheaters – most notably pointing out Jordan, Grant, and Robby, and crediting this site for bringing it to the forefront. Congratulations Star, you do it right. As opposed to, oh I don’t know, US Weekly, who had this boffo EXCLUSIVE yesterday – Amanda Stanton is going to be on BIP!. That’s great and all, but that was posted on this site Tuesday morning. I will give credit where credit is due though, I mean, US Weekly was only a 1 1/2 days late on that story. Usually they’re like a week, sometimes even a month, behind on stuff I’ve already posted on this site. So I guess that means they’re improving. But they aren’t fooling anyone with their “multiple sources tell US” BS. You mean the fact you looked on this site Tuesday then ran a story a day and a half later claiming it was an exclusive with zero credit to where you really got it from? It’s funny. And I will always point out when US posts something that you’ve already read on this site. As I say every season, all they do with their faux “exclusives,” is build my credibility more and more. They do it every season. Thanks guys. Appreciate it. Can’t wait to see what exclusive they have next that you’ve already read here!

There will be no live video chat tonight or next week. It will return two weeks from today on June 16th. Just wanted to give you a heads up.

I will be live-tweeting the UnREAL season 2 premiere this Monday night, so be sure to follow along and check out the show. If it’s even half as good as season 1, I’ll be happy.

Speaking of US Weekly, did you see the preview they gave for Monday’s episode when Jordan talks about his ex-girlfriend? Jordan tells JoJo during private time on the sex talk group date that he “made mistakes” in their relationship. Of course, the one mistake he leaves out was the fact that he cheated. Convenient, huh? Kind of an important one she’d probably want to know about, but hey, don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story. That’s Jordan’s motto apparently. Of course, JoJo has to know all the things being said about him on this site and in the tabloids, but there’s no doubt in my mind, she’s turning a deaf ear to them. It’s June 2nd. Her finale isn’t until August 1st. She’s got 8 more weeks of stories to ignore and pretend never happen, but ultimately, she’s going to come to her senses and realize there’s zero change of this relationship working out because he’s out for himself. But good luck in the meantime guys. Get paid, do magazine covers, do appearances, flaunt that fake engagement and ride that wave as long as you can. But just know the sh**storm of women from Jordan’s past is coming and it won’t be pretty.

Didn’t get the 8 I was hoping for, but I can do with 6. Next week, lets try and get 10 since 6 + 10 = 16 divided by 2 weeks would be an average of 8. Lets do this. Enjoy…


Dear Dr.,

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for over 6 years now. We met in college and had a couple tumultuous years but now we’re living together, we’re best friends, and I have no doubt I want to spend the rest of my life with him. It seems everywhere I go, people ask me “where’s the ring?” (even strangers, which I think is so rude but whatever) It never really bothered me when I was 21/22 but now that I’m 25, I’m wondering the same thing. We live like we’re married so not much would change, but I can’t help thinking, if he hasn’t asked by now, will he ever? We’ve talked about it occasionally and I know he wants to be with me, but maybe I haven’t been obvious enough about what I want. I don’t want it to come off as an ultimatum and I also don’t want him to feel pressured into something he may not be able to afford to get for me. I feel silly even writing this because I’m happy as long as we’re together, but I’m just worried he never plans on marrying me. I really need your objective, male perspective here!!

Comment: As the wise Beyonce once proclaimed, “If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it…”

Well when you’ve had these conversations about marriage, what has he said? Do you think it may be about finances? Maybe that’s it. Obviously if you’ve been with someone for 6 years and still haven’t been proposed to, these are normal thoughts to have. However, you are still in your mid 20’s, so it’s not like you’re on a time crunch here. You need to have an honest conversation with him and get definitive answers about what he wants out of the relationship. Does he want to be married? More importantly, does he want to be married to you? Unfortunately, it could be that. Because you’ve only known each other for six years, maybe he’s gotten into a rut where he doesn’t know anything but you, and he’s scared to end it. So he’s just hanging on. Not saying that’s the case, I’m just throwing out options as to why he hasn’t proposed.

It doesn’t need to be an ultimatum, but when you’re talking about your future, don’t be vague. Make it clear about what you want and find out exactly what it is he wants. Once you do that, I think you’ll have a better understanding.

Dear Dr. RealitySteve,

O wise one, I hope you have advice for this old guy who’s fallen for a lovely and fully compatible younger woman (70-50). We’ve been communicating via the web and telephone for nearly a year. She is in North Carolina; I am in Alabama. This woman has been seriously abused in her life. I mean, it’s as bad as it gets. I’m proud of her for surviving, but she exhibits some traits that put her into an immediate tailspin emotionally. She becomes hurtful and very despondent sometimes, and it’s left me reeling twice. It’s classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. She doesn’t like herself very much, which I completely get, because I, too, was a victim of heinous abuse long, long ago. It has taken me a lifetime of inner growth to get to the place where I actually like myself, and I honestly think I could help her.

She is drop dead gorgeous and one of the most genuinely sexy women I’ve ever encountered. We have yet to meet in the flesh, which I’ve been pressing for since the beginning. She’s spooked, because she doesn’t want to get hurt, nor does she want to hurt me (which she believes she WILL do).

So here’s my question: Do you think I should press on, or am I just convincing myself that I can help her just so I can get laid? I really care about her, but I can’t deny that I haven’t had sex since 2011. Am I too old for this stuff?

Thanks in advance,

A lusty old fan

Comment: Probably something that you should pass on. 20 year age difference, long distance, you haven’t gotten laid since became my full time job, and she has an abusive past. It probably sounds more like you’re just horny and some woman is giving you attention. Sounds like more of a headache than anything. Try and find someone locally without as much baggage and you’ll be fine.

Hi Dr. Reality Steve,

Happy Birthday to you – I hope you are having a fantastic day! J

I have a friend who once upon a time had a very beautiful engagement ring. After a few months of being engaged, I noticed that her ring had gone “missing.” Her fiancé told me that he was getting it engraved for her. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the ring again for many, many months. In fact, she didn’t even have her engagement ring on the day of her wedding! Since then, I have seen the ring only on one occasion which was shortly after the wedding. The ring has since gone “missing” again and it has been about 6 months. Before you think I am a horrible person, I do realize that in the long run the ring is a materialistic object and is not important. (She does have a very inexpensive wedding band that she wears daily.) However, this friend is a wonderful person who deserves to have a beautiful ring as a symbol of their love and devotion. I don’t know for sure, but I can only guess that the ring keeps getting pawned. (What else could be happening to it?) Why is it that her husband has enough money to eat out lavishly and drink excessively (most of the time without her), and travel/vacation but doesn’t have enough money to let her keep the engagement ring that he proposed with? I think this guy is a shady, selfish character who just doesn’t care about her or care about being a respectable man. What are your thoughts?

Many thanks!

Comment: Not enough details here to dive into it fully, but why are you assuming it’s been pawned? Just because she doesn’t wear it? Have you ever asked her where her ring is? What’s her response?

I think those are the answers you need first before you jump to anything else. It could be as simple as she doesn’t want to wear it for whatever reason. Odd, but maybe that’s the case. If it was pawned, was it her idea or his? And why was it? Financial reasons? So many questions before you can truly get the crux of this matter.

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  1. rollingeyes

    June 2, 2016 at 10:40 AM

    To the person who is so concerned about their friend’s wedding ring: what freaking business is it of yours? If you’re curious, then just ask your friend. If you’re “concerned” Then WHY? If they’re happy and in love, then who the hell cares where the diamond is? Mind your own business.

  2. rob22

    June 2, 2016 at 10:59 AM

    To a lusty old fan: Four words. Watch the show “Catfish”. People Catfish for a number of reasons, but most likely she’s not the age “she” says, doesn’t look as good as the pics she sent you and may not even be a she. Binge watch some Catfish episodes and you’ll get the drift. You’ll watch going “how the hell did these people not know they were in a phony relationship”. Then you’ll realize that’s you.

    BTW: if she’s asked for money, it’s most certainly a scammer who trolls for lonely (and horny) men & uses them as an ATM for as long as they can get away with it. The obvious key is that you’ve never met. If people are truly interested, they’ll figure out how to see you in person. Their reasons for not doing so are just excuses to keep the charade alive. Once you meet & realize they’re not who they say they are, it’s over. So, you’ll never meet.

  3. yellowcrayon

    June 2, 2016 at 11:23 AM

    Tired of the paragraphs about Jojo not listening about Jordan. She’s not in love with him, dude. I find it more believable that it’s a showmance on both ends than anything else. They are both out for themselves and the exposure.

  4. rob22

    June 2, 2016 at 11:25 AM

    Some women sure have an amazing capacity to put up with a ton of crap. For a LONG time, with some of you. Last week I noted that lowering the standards for a first date is a good idea. Don’t screen people out before you know them. But do get to know people before deciding whether you want to pursue a relationship. After a few dates, you should have a good general idea of who they are. Certainly within 2-3 months you’ll have a good idea (it does take quite a bit longer to really get to know them well enough to marriage). Guys don’t really change. If they’re douche-pickles to you in the first couple of months, then that’s who they are. And that’s the best version of them too, because they’re usually on their best behavior in the first 2-3 months.

    But remember, you need to set the standards. If you are OK with being the FWB girl who’s great for letting a guy drop anchor whenever he’s in town, then that’s what you’re going to get. If you let a guy maintain a status quo “I don’t know what” for 6-7 years without a ring, then that’s what you’re going to get. If you tolerate rude & douchey texts from guys you just met, then that’s what you’re going to get.

    For certain, if you had standards you wouldn’t be writing to Reality Steve. These problems would have resolved themselves. You wouldn’t be 6-7 years into a relationship wondering when the ring’s coming because you would have had that conversation in concrete ways by the time you hit 2 years. You’d either be married to the guy, or in a relationship or married to someone else. If you didn’t tolerate guys floating in and out of your bed, then you wouldn’t have some douchey guy using you as a sex vacation from his girlfriend. If you didn’t tolerate guys sending you rude and x-rated texts, then you would have blocked him after the first one & put a quick stop to it.

    You get the relationship you deserve. If you think you deserve better (and you do) don’t put up with crap from guys. They just take advantage of weak girls who put up with them. Life is short. Don’t waste time with these guys. There are great younger guys. I meet them all the time. There are also the other variety of guys. Hold out for the better versions. To be clear, I didn’t say screen someone out of a first date (unless you’ve already seen what a douche they are). But end things quickly and decisively when they reveal their doucheyness. The insecurities you have about not being worthy of a good guy or whatever are just self fulfilling prophesies. There’s a good guy out there for you if you have standards & don’t waste years of your life hanging out with trashy guys.

    And the girl that likes “Bad Boys”, ha! Your life isn’t going to go well. You aren’t even making excuses for having no standards. You’re embracing it!! You’re going to collect ex’s by the truckload & blame it all on them, aren’t you? Most of the Bad Boy lovers I know, are on husband #3 by the time they’re 50, with massive tales of woe. But they keep screwing it up over and over again. Good luck to you. You’ll need it.

  5. crushonspivey

    June 2, 2016 at 3:21 PM

    I really liked JoJo last season, and I still think she is hot. Has a great sense of humor, pretty chill. But, I do not really think she cares about finding a guy this season, either. Not at all. I think she was in it for the $250-300k payout and bonuses for doing the show, the fun of it and to extend her fame. And I have no problem with it because this is all that this show has become. It is just a fake reality show with a good marketing arm. And it has about run its course unless it reinvents itself.

    In the early days, the show was more believable than now, and I actually thought most people were genuine about it. Not anymore. Not one bit. Now it is just fame seekers and egos out for fun and attention, and that show is basically a joke. Chad is the most interesting thing about it, and all he is is a huge distraction from what the show is supposed to be about–which is finding love. But he is a real distraction that shines a light on the absurdity of what the franchise has let itself become.

    Also, man, people like drama and create fake drama in their life as much as the people on this franchise do. Some people just crave that crap. I do not get it. drama sucks.

  6. yellowcrayon

    June 2, 2016 at 3:49 PM

    I have a problem with Jojo as in I think she’s completely fake, like this entire season. How people don’t see her acting is beyond me. Yes, I prefer when the lead is a tad more vulnerable than that. I am already over this season. It’s not about the payout or fame because they all love that.. and I enjoyed Kaitlyn’s season. She admitted taking the gig for her “brand,” but I never felt she was acting or fake.

  7. rob22

    June 3, 2016 at 10:14 AM

    @yellowcrayon: That’s kind of the issue. If you’re “in the moment” like Kaitlyn, you’re going to get crushed by haters for it. Millions of people are watching & judging everything you do. If you “act” like JoJo or Andi, Or Smilin Pete you can come off pretty good during the show. So there are more rewards for being a phony in terms of public perception. That’s assuming, of course, that the show doesn’t decide to give you a bad edit. Always a wild card for every participant.

  8. cresd

    June 3, 2016 at 2:18 PM

    I am the OP who asked the question about the engagement ring. Brevity did me no good in explaining the situation, but you’re right – I should just mind my own business. (Why is that so hard to do sometimes?) There are 7 of us girls in a really tight-knit group and we have watched each other get engaged and married (and some of us, divorced) over the years. Anyways, we have asked our friend where her ring is on multiple occasions. The last time we asked, she told us that she honestly wasn’t sure because she thinks her husband is lying to her. At first, he told her that he took the ring to get it engraved; then the jeweler needed it to customize the wedding band; after that, the jeweler ended up keeping the engagement ring because the wedding band hadn’t been paid for; then after that, the jeweler lost it; and finally, (where we are today), is that the jeweler has ordered a new ring to replace the one they lost. She has had her ring off and on during this time period, but it has been about 6 months since she had it last. These stories don’t pass the smell test as a) the ring was never engraved b) the wedding band she wears does not match or even resemble her engagement ring (definitely wasn’t customized) and c) our friend has become suspicious. Truth be told, the ring has been a major sore spot in their relationship in addition to other problems that they have been having. They love each other, but no, everything isn’t rosy. They live in Las Vegas and we think her husband could have a gambling problem or maybe he has some kind of addiction that she isn’t aware of. Maybe he’s just an asshole. We were just wondering what could have happened to the ring because obviously, he won’t be honest with her. I guess on the other hand, maybe she is not being honest with us? I guess I will just accept that people put up with the relationships that they want to put up with.

  9. ks76

    June 3, 2016 at 5:02 PM

    Hi cresd,

    It sounds like your friend’s husband bought the ring on some sort of payment plan. Sometimes if you purchase jewelry through a retailer payment plan or credit card, the item gets repossessed if you do not pay. This is based on my experience working with jewelry at a major retailer. This is just a guess. My guess is she knows but is embarrassed.

  10. canon

    June 3, 2016 at 6:25 PM

    Some people don’t like rings that catch on things like drawers at the office, etc. and only wear their bands. Not uncommon. She should just ask or mind her own business. Whatever the reason, it’s not really your business.

    If the baggage bugs you before you even meet, don’t meet.

    If you are fine and happy living with someone, don’t let other people influence you to change things. Seems she is fine with how things are until people start telling her she should be engaged. You should be what you want to be, not what others expect you to be. That said…if you want to be married, say so.

    Personally, I’d tell a woman if her man were cheating on her and I gotta wonder why this girl is sending R rated pics to this dude anyway and demeaning herself for his jollies. Have some self respect and steer clear of dishonest people who only want you for sex esp if they have someone who doesn’t know you exist.

  11. Serpephone

    June 5, 2016 at 12:54 PM

    I am curious to see who this Rob22 “guy” is…

  12. Serpephone

    June 5, 2016 at 12:56 PM

    at some point, we have to ask… “Who is this Rob… guy?…”

  13. Serpephone

    June 5, 2016 at 12:58 PM

    I mean, My name is “Rob…” but I’m a girl…

  14. allusernamestaken

    June 5, 2016 at 10:41 PM

    I love this robb22 guy!!! i say that to my friends all the time! his advice is spot on!! i mean, you are a FWB girl and you are expecting something to change? NO it wont!! if you are ok being that, then be it.. if you want more, then move on! you are sending photos to a guy you are hooking up with? that is ridiculous! you dont know where those photos are going! hes probably some creepy photo collector that is looking at your pics while hes having sex with his gf! why are girls so stupid? until i had a ring on my finger i gave no one photos!!!

    second, if you are dating a guy for 6 years dont expect him to one day decide to put a ring on it! you need to decide if this is it and talk to him and ifnot move on! you obviously want to be married and you are just wasting your time in this relationship that isnt going anywhere or to give you what you want.. if you dont want to give him that ultimatum, then dont complain! it is your choice to be dealing with this for the past few years.

    also, to the 70yr od with the 50yr old hot woman! if you have never seen her in person, she is not that good looking! i guarantee you are giving her money and helping her out because she is a ‘single mom’ or she is taking care of her parents! you need to get away from her immediately!! she is manipulative and is seeking out a poor lonely man to talk to!

    the girl with the ring.. that is your friends problem and not yours! she is CHOOSING to be with that man and it is her problem if it bothers her to figure out where the ring is.. yeah, you can be her friend and ask her if she is ok and if she needs someone to talk to coem to you.. but you know what, maybe he does have a gambling problem? maybe he does have girls on the side? guess what! that is not your problem!!! if she wants to talk to you about it, she will… if you cant just be her friend then find other single friends to hang out with!

    people put themselves in such ridiculous situations! if a guy is blowing you up and you are bothered by it.. BLOCK HIS NUMBER!!! it isnt that difficult! if you meet up with a guy and he doesnt call you back when you want him to, move on! dont deal with these behaviours and then come and complain! if a guy can call you in a month and you meet up with him, he will do it again bc he got away with it!!! also, why would you want to date a guy when he is with another girl knowing that if he was dating you he would have another side piece beside his ass?

    dating is hard.. but just dont be stupid! use your brain and if something isnt right move on!!!

  15. rob22

    June 6, 2016 at 7:34 AM

    Serpephone: I get the whole anonymous posting stuff puts everyone in the suspicious category. Who the hell are they, anyway? Phonies, Trolls and Catfishers are real. But I am male and I am posting because, who knows why? I do like to give relationship advice because, being a guy, I’m not misled by what guys say. Women seem to struggle to reconcile the BS coming out of their mouths with the overwhelming physical evidence of what’s really happening. That’s why BS artists can be so effective with getting women to do whatever they want. So, I put in my two cents & hope it helps someone. Not all guys are douches. And, everyone makes mistakes, and minor mistakes should be forgiven. But when guys are doing clearly douchey BIG things and making excuses or telling lies to cover up for their behavior, then let’s call it what it is.

    I also realize that many are going to let the advice go in one ear and out the other & continue on their current path with their douchey guy. I’ve seen this again and again in my personal life. I pretty much stay out of the “giving advice to friends” scenario. I’ve discovered that they really are just complaining and don’t want advice. Eventually, too, it comes back on me when they stay in the relationship & I’m now on the outs. Even if they break up, they’re embarrassed and may not want to hang out with you anymore. So, ring issue writer, my advice when it comes to friends is to stay out of their business. He’s not a serial killer (I hope). All the evidence is there for her, and she probably won’t act on it. Keeping on with her about it will eventually just lose you a friend.

    I can’t really dig into the issues that cause women to maintain destructive relationships. I only hope to possibly deliver a hard wake up call & maybe get them to consider another path. I think, however, there is a lot of fear wrapped up in the bad decisions. If I break up, then….. I’ll have to start over, there might not be another guy, this is my fault, I’ll look like the bad guy to everyone, it’s embarrassing to have another failure, my bio clock is ticking, (fill in the blank). In my experience, fear is the most common reason for bad decision making in most every setting.

  16. Serpephone

    June 8, 2016 at 10:25 AM

    hey Rob: I only commented because most of your advice is spot on… it kind of feels like you do it for a living!

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